My Story

[johnnyleedl]

My Story


By Johnny Lee White

I'm back and this is my story.

I'm not really sure when I first became attracted to diapers and plastic panties, but I do recall several incidents that stuck in my mind.
When I was 5 years old I had started wetting the bed a few times. When me and my sister Vicky(4) stayed with our friends Kim(4), and Karen(3) overnight. Their Mom, Bev asked my Mommy if she would to put a diaper on me. She didn’t want me messing up her sheets and mattress. Mom agreed, but told her, she would have to do the diapering. So Bev diapered me on the living floor, actually a bath towel was used for the diaper and the first time there wasn't any plastic pants. The next time we stayed over, I had to wear large blue plastic pants over the diaper/towel. Bev had purchased these pants along with proper diaper pins for my visits. After we moved from the neighborhood we would come for visits which always lasted until the early morning hours. Us kids were put to bed until the grownups finished their fun, of course I was made to wear diapers and plastic panties.

When I was about 6 or 7 years old, I had a severe attack of diarrhea while we were saying the Pledge of Allegiance. Before I could get to the bathroom I filled my pants, the school nurse provided me with a change of clothes and I made through the rest of the day. That night, Mom asked if she should put a diaper on me so I wouldn't have an accident in bed. I said no right off, but I got this strange, thrilling feeling and wanted to say okay. And later in bed, all I could think about was I wanted to be in a diaper.

Later that year, my cousins Lance, David and Lane, came to spend the summer. Lance was a little younger than me, but wet the bed and still wore diapers at night most of the time. David wore diapers at night too, while Lane wasn't out of diapers yet. I remember outwardly laughing at Lance and David, but inside I was wishing I could wear them too.

I believe than some of my earliest experiences while still a child was a major factor in my attraction to diapers when I became a preteen, which carried over into my adult life. For instance, Kim's family and mine were together a lot until I was in the fifth grade, (9/10 age). As a result I spent a lot of time wearing diapers and plastic panties, but perhaps most importantly they never laughed nor made fun of me because of it. Kim and I were buddies and Karen was buddies with Vicky. So at night, Kim and I shared her bed and Vicky shared Karen's bed. Kim taught me to kiss and French kiss, and the experimentation carried on over the years from there until we clumsily performed the final act. This of course was while I was wearing the diapers. I have often wondered how much this had to do with my current desires.

Another incident seems relatively minor but I believe it had a profound impact on my life. My little brother Gary, was born when I was six, so he was only a toddler when I was seven and one of my presents was a set of plastic bowling pins and a plastic bowling ball. I have to add here that I had this bad habit of putting things in my mouth and chewing on them. It didn't matter if it was my thumb, a stick, blade of grass or a toy. This one time that year when us kids were in our room playing I grabbed one of the bowling pins that Gary had been playing with, while I was building my Lincoln Log fort. I put the end of it in next to my mouth and started chewing on it. It was too large to fit in my mouth though you couldn't tell it by the old teeth marks on it. After a while I noticed it had this funny taste it never had before. Then I got a whiff of it and realized it was pee on this piece of plastic. I guess that my brother's diaper must have leaked on it. I tossed it down but later on being again absorbed in my creation picked up again and did a repeat performance.

I don’t remember what I thought at the time. Years went by before I thought of it again but I think it is a link to my first real desires; plastic, diapers and pee.

Plastic panties was my first turn on, then came the diapers, then the smell of pee and the feel of a pee soaked diaper.

[johnnyleedl]

Fantasies are Sweeter then Reality

Fantasies are Sweeter then Reality

I have had millions of fantasies in the 60 years of life, (I believe even as babies we have basic fantasies) and few if any of them have come out right.

For example, I had years of wanting my wife to do more with my abdl needs then to just tolerate them. She accepted it very easily from the very beginning of our relationship that is was indeed a part of me. She would say you can wear your things whenever you want, she didn’t even blink when I told her of how I was humiliated by my Mother and the forced diapering in the living room up. The worst and most memorable time period was between the ages of 10 until I was 13 or 14, when I was in night diapers more then not being in them. Being in night diapers consisted of a few weeks here and there beginning when I was 5. Thinking back on this now, I don’t know how I made it through that time of my life, with the fact that my few friends and all my relatives not only knowing about but seeing me that way. But I digress; let me give you an example of what got me started on this line of thought.

This is what happened when the only time she changed my diapers:

I was into peeing and pooping my diapers at that time, so we had a fairly normal evening not even discussing what we were about to try, with me filling my diapers with pee for a few hours, then I took a large dump in them while we were cuddling on the couch watching TV. I played nonchalant about it all but inside I was all aquiver with excitement and arousal. I was wearing a very thick cloth diapers and snug plastic pants, which by that time were kind of soggy which made squirm around a little in my enjoyment. I wanted to masturbate so badly, this being I usually did at those times to a great climax. After awhile she crinkled her nose abit and asked me if I just pooped in my things. I told her I had then brought up her commitment in my game. I could see from the look on her face that she was uncomfortable but gave her the right look so she would honor it. Then she went told me it would be easier to do in the bathroom, so I followed her there. She stood in front of me pulled down my plastic pants and bade me to step out of them. Then ran the sink full of warm water, before taking off my sagging, stinky diaper by removing the blue ducky pins. I didn’t attempt to help her and she almost lost control of my weighty soaked diapers made a big mess on the floor, somehow she managed to get it into the toilet without losing a drop of poop. Then she started cleaning me up, it was one of the soft smeary jobs that seems to cling and doesn’t want to leave. Needless to say I was getting very embarrassed although I did my best to hide it not only from her but also from myself. She didn’t complain once but carried on like a trooper and soon it was all over with her pinning me into fresh diapers on the couch and pulling up a clean pair of plastic pants over them. We cuddled on the couch and I fell asleep in her arms.

The next day we both acted as if it had never happened and it was never discussed again. It wasn’t satisfying to me or her and I no desire to repeat it. But the fantasy didn’t disappear.

Several times my wife attempted to participate, even though it wasn’t stimulating for her. One of my fantasies was to have a female change me. When she asked me what some of my desires were, I sheepishly told her that and she readily agreed to do it. All we had to do was find the right time when we had enough privacy from her family and our son, (who was almost 10). When it actually happened I had imagined it to be so fun and exciting but it turned out to be uncomfortable for both of us. Here was this beautiful young girl I that I had been married to for almost 15 years and yet I could not be as comfortable with about my inner most desires to share them without feeling this terrible shame, guilt and embarrassed. Afterwards, I couldn’t even explain the way I felt either. There was just too much that we never really revealed to each other or discussed, it was like an unwritten law. I wanted so badly to share ever part of myself but I couldn’t. So how come I was able to open up to complete strangers over the years and tell them stuff in the most matter of fact way with hardly a twinge on doubt, embarrassment, etc… I guess it is because I could leave them behind whenever I chose and put it behind me.