Lost & Found - By Theophania

[Tiffany]

[Tiffany]

Wow, really, not again GRR!

Maybe I'll post in pieces.

Maybe that will help.

BTW: My writing handle is from the Greek word of my name... Theophania.


INTRO:

This is a story about a girl who had lost her way in life, and how she found unconditional love. This is the story of Tiffany. In some ways, it’s my story. Although it is fictional in names places and events, the emotions conveyed are mine. There are some truths inside this story, but I’ll never reveal them.

This is a story you read with your heart, not your mind. I hope it reaches you and your life is somehow enriched by it. Thank you for your time.


(let's see if this posts in smaller parts!

[Tiffany]

Lost & Found - Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

At age 33 she was reborn, finally free to live her life. Before that time Tiffany was the victim of childhood abuse, and found herself married to an alcoholic who beat her relentlessly on any occasion and for no reason.

At age 32 she had left him. She had left everything, and everyone. She moved away and started over again. She had only a little money from the divorce, but it was enough to find a one bedroom apartment in a decent part of town.

She soon found a part time job at a non-profit working with the disabled. The work was rewarding to her and she thanked God every day for her new life, as simple as it was.

Then one day, at age 33, while riding the bus home from work she met someone who would change her life forever. They became fast friends. Jacquelyn was a male-to-female transsexual woman who was most of the way through her transition. That just goes to show you never know who you’ll meet on a city bus.

As that year progressed Tiffany and Jacquelyn became inseparable best friends. By now, Tiffany had shared most everything from her life, accept one deeply held secret. On Friday Jacquelyn was due to spend the weekend at Tiffany’s apartment. That Thursday night while they chatted on the phone, Tiffany decided to unveil at least a portion of her secret.

“Jackie, I need to get something off my chest.” Tiffany said. Jacquelyn in her typical way blurted out. “Yeah, I’d like to get something added to mine!” This made Tiffany smile and laugh slightly. She proceeded to tell her that she needed to wear protection at night due to bladder issues, to which Jacquelyn replied

“Oh Honey, that’s no big deal, lots of women have bladder problems. And besides, you know me well enough to know that I’d never tease you about something that you can’t help. We’re going to have a wonderful weekend, so don’t worry about that at all sweetie.”

Friday late afternoon, Tiffany was getting dinner in the oven when the doorbell rang. She let Jacquelyn in and they embraced. “It sure smells good in here.” She said while she set her suitcase by the couch. They sat down at the dinner table. Tiffany bowed her head and prayed. “Dear God, thank you for this food, and especially for Jackie visiting. I hope we have a wonderful time together. Amen!”

It didn’t take very long for the two of them to devour the meal. They stood at the kitchen sink and finished with the dishes. Suddenly Tiffany had a flashback. She hadn’t had one in almost a month now. All of a sudden she found herself curled up by the dish washer in the old house, her husband kicking her and screaming at her. She was brought back to the here and now as Jacquelyn touched her shoulder. “Tiff, are you alright honey?” Tiffany was standing there frozen, with a plate in her hand, and tears rolling down her cheeks.

As she snapped out of it she dropped the plate in the sink, the clanging noise startling her. She pulled away from Jacquelyn and ran into the living room on her way to the bedroom. However, her emotions became so overwhelming that she fell in a heap on the floor with her back to the bedroom door. Her head was in her hands and Tiffany was sobbing uncontrollably.

Jacquelyn came to her and knelt down and pulled Tiffany to her. “Shh. honey it’s ok. She ran her fingers through Tiffany’s wavy hair. Jacquelyn knew of Tiffany’s past and of her having some emotional trauma. She had talked her through many rough nights. Sometimes just holding the phone as Tiffany poured her heart out in sobs more than words.

What Jacquelyn wasn’t aware of is that due to years of abuse both from her family and ex husband, Tiffany would sometimes disassociate when the horrors of it all became unbearable. At her breaking point she would often become a scared little child of no more than 3 or 4 years old.

Jackie gently rubbed Tiffany’s back and slightly rocked her side to side in her embrace. After several minutes Tiffany spoke. “Jackie, don’t be mad at me, but I’m a little girl now. No more big Tiffy.” Their eyes met as the last of Tiffany’s tears were falling down her face.

“It’s alright, I’ll take care of you Tiff. You’re safe here.” Jacquelyn whispered. She then helped Tiffany to her feet. That’s when she noticed the semi round dark wet spot on the rug. Not wanting to upset Tiffany any more she ignored it for the time being. “How about I draw you a bubble bath. Okay sweetie?” Tiffany nodded.

Jackie undressed Tiffany without mentioning her little accident. She did not want to upset her. Once she was settled in the tub, Jacquelyn then went about cleaning the carpet by the bedroom door. She returned and then helped her out of the bath and dried her off.

“Tiff, you lay down right here on the bed. I’m going to get you all ready for bed.” She said while looking around the room. She was looking for Tiffany’s pajamas, and also her diapers. Upon finding the diapers she saw other items that took her brain a moment to process. In the file cabinet tucked in her closet, were diapers of various types, and baby bottles.

Also she saw two pacifiers. There was also a tub of baby wipes and two containers. One of baby powder, and the other was baby oil. Jacquelyn gathered the diaper supplies and laid them on the bed. Tiffany laid there with her thumb in her mouth as she was being diapered and then helped into her footed sleeper.

A few minutes later Jacquelyn was feeding Tiffany a bottle while she lay her head in her lap. As Jackie watched the calming effect of babying her, she realized this was a deep and very intimate part of her life. After Tiffany was bottle fed, Jackie went around the apartment, making sure it was locked, and the lights were out. It was only 8:30PM, but it didn’t matter.

Jacquelyn got into bed and curled up next to Tiffany. She was already fast asleep. It took her another hour before she realized she was not able to sleep. Carefully she got out of the bed and went into the living room leaving the bedroom door open just a crack. She put the TV on quiet. She wasn’t as much watching the action on the screen, but thinking of Tiffany in the next room.

The events of the night had brought to light a nurturing matronly side that Jackie had never known before. Growing up Jackie, who was originally named Jack, had been forced to grow up in a male roll. She had known since her earliest memories that something was deeply wrong. As puberty approached it become painfully clear to Jackie that she was trapped in the wrong body.

The events of her life had brought her to tonight. Here she found herself identifying in some ways with Tiffany’s pain. She too had suffered trauma as she was rejected by friends and family when she came out. While lost in her own reminiscing, she heard the bedroom door creaking slightly. Before she was aware of it, Tiffany had walked to the couch and set next to her.

Tiffany’s mouth quivered as she was trying to form words. “Honey, it’s alright.” Jackie said reassuringly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see me this way. I feel ashamed that you know about my, issues.” Tiffany frowned slightly and lowered her gaze to the ground. Jackie lifted her chin gently with two fingers until Tiffany’s gaze met hers.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of. I love you, and I accept you for who you are. Just as you did for me in the early days of my transition when I felt lost. You found me Tiff, and you have such a heart of gold. I’d do anything for you. Never be afraid with me Tiff. I just want to in some small way return the kindness and love that you’ve poured into my life. Just know that you will never scare me or push me away. I see you for who you are.”
“You always told me I was the beautiful butterfly coming out of my cocoon. But Tiffany, you truly are the beautiful butterfly. You’ve literally almost died, and come back a new person. Your beauty is in your heart, in your words. It’s in your hands as you reach out to help others, and in your face. Every time you smile, you light up the room.”

At this point both were in tears and in a warm embrace. They melted together, the barriers removed and their souls touched in that moment. Jackie turned off the TV and led Tiffany back into the bedroom. Once in bed they held onto each other and not a word was said. Nothing more needed to be said.

That next morning they awoke. The sunlight shown through the curtains and chirping of birds could be heard. “Good morning sleepy head.” Jacquelyn whispered as she brushed a few stray hairs from Tiffany’s forehead. She then planted a gentle kiss there. Tiffany’s face began to glow as a smile slowly formed on her face. Her cheeks were slightly red and the sight of her brought a smile to Jackie as well.

Jackie got up and went to the kitchen to get breakfast started. Tiffany went into the bathroom and closed the door. She removed her soggy diaper and then cleaned herself. She then fixed her hair in the mirror before joining Jackie in the kitchen. She was busy getting breakfast together. Tiffany poured the orange juice and set the table. About this time Jackie placed the plates on the table. She stood behind a chair motioned for Tiffany to have a seat. “Some habits die hard.” Jackie said as she slid Tiffany’s chair in. “Yeah, but that’s one habit I could learn to like.”

After breakfast, they changed out of their PJs. They were going to go to an outdoor art festival since the weather was clear and cool. Jacquelyn made up the bed as Tiffany was rummaging in the closet putting together an outfit to wear. “Girl you’re worse than me when I first started dressing as a woman. I mean seriously, all your clothes are fabulous. Just pick something. My gosh.” She said while Tiffany shot her a pouty glance.

Tiffany went into the bathroom to finish getting ready. When she returned Jacquelyn was sitting on the edge of the bed. Unbeknownst to Tiffany, there was a disposable diaper behind her. Tiffany noticed the hesitant look on Jackie’s face. “What?” she inquired. “Since we’ll be out and about most of the day, would you be at all interested in wearing a diaper?” Jackie asked. Before Tiffany could answer, she then said. “If you wear one, I will too.”

Tiffany tried to speak, but her conflicting emotions were making it difficult. “Honey, Even though you’ve never said it in words, I know how calm and relaxed you were in these.” She said while holding the diaper out to Tiffany, who was still speechless. “And besides, you’re always looking for a bathroom when we’re out anywhere. And you also feel panicky if there is too much going on around you. I just want you to be comfortable. And I’m willing to show my support by also wearing one.”

Tiffany quietly stepped forward, taking the diaper and walking into the bathroom. Even though Jackie had diapered her last night during her breakdown, she wanted to maintain her dignity somewhat. When she returned she was surprised to see Jackie with her jeans and panties around her ankles. She was making a pathetic attempt at diapering herself. “Here let me help you with that.” Tiffany said with a slight giggle. Jackie blushed a bit.

She pulled the diaper away from Jacquelyn to apply powder. She knew from experience that without that, she would experience chafing, or even worse, diaper rash. A tear ran down Jacquelyn’s cheek. “Hey, you know I don’t care about your birth defect. To me you’re a girl. That has no bearing on how I see you.” she said as she finished taping the diaper. Jackie stood up and pulled her jeans back up.

“Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” Tiffany said as she took her by the hand. “Not just for diapering me, but, for what you said, about how you see me as a woman despite that.” Jackie said. Tiffany gently squeezed her hand to affirm her. They then caught the down town bus. They sat next to each other. Neither of them spoke much. A half hour later they arrived at the art festival.

The weather outside was absolutely beautiful. The turnout was great. That afternoon there was a series of jazz concerts in the adjacent park. They both sat on a blanket in the grass. As the sun set behind them they laid back and stared at the night sky. Tiffany reached for Jackie’s hand. “I love you.” She mouthed the words too softly to be heard. Tiffany’s heart beat in only that special way it does when you’re in love. It was as if her heart was dancing for joy within her. She couldn’t remember a time in her life she was filled with such, peace.

A mix of tears of her present joy, and her past sorrows fled in little streams down her face. Jacquelyn was propped up on one arm. She slowly bent forward and planted her lips against Tiffany’s tear stricken cheek. As she softly kissed her lips, she could taste the salt of her tears. Seconds later, tenderness gave way to passion as Jackie pulled her into her arms, their lips locked, eyes closed, and hearts pounding. They spent another hour there, in their own little world.

As they awaited a bus back home Tiffany mentioned her diaper was wet and getting uncomfortable. Jackie also said she would need a change. They arrived home at 10:30PM. Jacquelyn went to the bathroom to remove her diaper. Tiffany sat on the couch. When Jackie came out she saw Tiffany sitting there. “Come on Tiffy, let’s go change you.” Tiffany followed her to the bedroom where Jackie took great care in tenderly taking care of her.

They changed into their pajamas and then curled up on the couch and talked. “I had a really nice time today Jackie.” “I did too.” Jackie paused. Then spoke. “Tiffany, I love you, as more than a friend. I want us to be together. I mean, if you want. I know you’re lesbian, and that I haven’t had my final surgery yet, but.” Jacquelyn was cut off as Tiffany leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.

“Sweetie, you’re a lesbian too. I don’t care about what’s between your legs. In my heart you will always be a woman. And even if you never had the surgery, I’d be intimate with you. I don’t put myself in a box. I mean, yes I’m lesbian, but I love a person for who they are and how they treat me. I love YOU for who you are.”

They continued to talk and finally around 12AM they crawled into bed. Tiffany lay there spooning with Jackie. As she slightly moved her legs, the soft crinkle of her plastic diaper cover could be scarcely heard. “Tiff?” “Yeah Jackie.” “When we first make love.” She paused as her voice broke. “Shh. Honey, I know. When we do make love, I’ll use my strap-on and enter you from behind. I know you don’t like having the other parts touched. And honey, when the time comes, I will let you also use it on me.” Tiffany whispered softly.

She held Jackie as she cried tears of release. In the still of the night she had found her safe place. Finally, she was home.

[Tiffany]

Lost & Found - Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO

Flashback to 1994: A 17 year old Jack and his friend Blain are racing down the road with heavy metal blaring through the shitty factory speakers. Blain passes him the flask as he tilts his head back and takes a swig. He empties it, then laughing he tosses it carelessly out of the window. It smashes against the curb. Later, Jack and a couple other guys are sitting on a tail gate with a girl named Jenifer. Blain passes the joint to Jack. He takes a hard hit and seconds later coughs and sputters. Laughter and cheers erupt from the guys.

As the night wears on some of the guys go to a nearby pool hall. Blain has passed out in the back of the truck. Jack and Jen take a walk to the woods because she has to pee. Jack turns away to allow her to relieve herself. “Damn it! Something just bit my ass! SHIT!” Jen exclaims. “You fucking men are so lucky all you got to do is whip out your dick and take a piss.” Jen says while buttoning her jeans.

Jack was silent on the walk back to the truck. “Hey Jack, what’s up? You’re quiet. That weed fucked you up good eh?” She poked him in the side. He turns to her and in the dim moonlit woods the gleam of his tears are now visible to her. “Jack? What the hell. Are you Okay man?” He turned away from her. Jen placed a hand on his shoulder and he pulled away. She thought she heard a faint sob escape his lips.

“Hey, talk to me. You and I go way back. What’s up? I’m here for you, you know that right?” He stammers for a moment trying to get the words out. “I’m not right.” He said while wiping his face with his forearm.

“Well no shit Jack. You’re fucked up. You finished most of that six pack and half a joint. I mean damn. But it’s not worth crying over.” She hugged him. “No Jen. Something horrible is wrong with me. I, I’m, I’m not okay with who I am.” He stuttered. Jen began to realize it wasn’t the drinks or weed talking. Jack really was struggling with something, and bad.

“I was meant to be a girl.” He said with his head hung low. Just saying the words scared him. He’d thought it many times. Now, with some liquid courage, he had uttered it for the first time. Jen stood there in awe and said nothing for almost five minutes. Then she hugged him and whispered softly into his ear. “Jack, I respect you, and your secret is safe with me. But seriously, don’t ever let any of the guys find out. If you ever need to talk about it, you call. Okay Jack?”

He nodded. She helped him to regain his composure. They sat on the tail gate smoking cigarettes until Blain came back around. Jen dropped Blain off and then took Jack home. She lived nearby. Before she left she turned to face Jack. “If you are really serious about what you said back there, maybe we can drive a couple towns over and do some shopping. I mean, you won’t know for sure unless you give it a try.” She smiled. “I do know. But yes, I will take you up on that. Jen faded in the night as she walked down the empty street. Jack sat on the porch smoking until the sun came up. “God, please help me.” He said as he looked at the rising sun. Somehow in the stillness of that moment, he knew it would be alright.

Present Time: “Jackie?” Tiffany called softly. Jacquelyn yawned and stretched. Two weeks had passed since the weekend that had kicked off their relationship. “Good morning sweetie.” She said as she ran her fingers gently across Tiffany’s cheek. This elicited a reflexive smile from Tiffany.

It was cold and neither of them wanted to crawl out from the blanket. As they cuddled, Jackie placed her hand gently on Tiffany’s bottom. The crinkly plastic cover of her diaper felt cold and clammy. “Someone’s got a wet tush.” Jackie smiled. Tiffany blushed while still maintaining her smile. She fluttered her eyes open and closed and a soft moan escaped her lips as she released the remainder of her bladder. Jackie’s hand was still placed firmly on her bottom. She said nothing, but her knowing smile said it all.

Jacquelyn was first to get out of bed. She reached into Tiffany’s overnight bag for her wipes. She then proceeded to gently take care of her. Jackie’s fourth floor condo offered a nicer view than Tiffany’s little one bedroom apartment. They looked out at the lake as they ate breakfast. That afternoon they both worked out at a nearby gym. That night, they went to see a movie.

On the bus returning home they were both tired. Jackie noticed Tiffany was uneasy about something. “Hey hun, what’s wrong?” she asked. Tiffany leaned and whispered in her ear. “I have to go to the bathroom.” Jackie smiled. “That’s no big deal you’re wearing a” She was cut off abruptly. “Shh!” Tiffany said slightly embarrassed. “Well, you are. Are you worried you’ll leak?” Jackie asked. Tiffany sat there a moment, she was frustrated.

Tiffany leaned closer and whispered. “I don’t have to pee. I um. You know.” She said as she sighed. “Oh. I see.” Jackie said. A moment of silence followed. “It’s ok if you need to, or want to. We’re only 5 minutes away from our stop.” Jackie said while holding her hand. “What makes you think I’d want to do that?” Tiffany asked defensively.

“Oh how easily you forget darling. Don’t you remember when we stayed up all night talking last week? When you told me about certain experiences when you were little? Honey, I know you. And as I said that first night two weeks ago, you don’t have to be afraid of pushing me away. I’m here for you, no matter what. So honestly, don’t hold back for my sake. I want my Tiffy to be a happy girl.” Tiffany remained in silent contemplation. “Okay, I’m not saying anything else about it.”

They walked silently home from the bus stop. In the elevator Tiffany began to cry. “I’m not scared of pushing you away. I’m ashamed of the things I like.” Jackie held her as the elevator bell dinged. In the condo Jackie and Tiffany cuddled in the love seat that overlooked the few acres of woods. Tiffany closed her eyes and laid her head on Jackie’s shoulder. Jackie patted her on the back and rubbed her crinkly bottom. “I’m right here.” She whispered.

At that moment a feeling of safety and peace swept over her. She let nature run its course. Nothing was said. Later, Tiffany was led by the hand. Jackie stripped her down and had her stand in the tub. She then took care of the dirty diaper. She lit some candles and opened the small window. She then turned on the water. She poured in some bubbles. Jacquelyn removed her bra and panties and then sat across from Tiffany in the tub. “I’m glad you trusted me.” Jackie said as she pulled her into a warm kiss.

A while later they began to fondle each other’s breasts. Jackie began to finger her with gentle shallow thrusts. Tiffany’s head leaned back as she softly moaned. They stood up and dried each other as they kissed and held one another. They walked hand in hand to the bed. Sitting on the edge, Tiffany swung her leg up onto Jackie’s lap. They fell back and continued frolicking. The intensity of their foreplay began to wane.

While in a loving embrace they made eye contact. “Are you ready to trust me now?” Tiffany asked. Jackie nodded. Tiffany reached into her overnight bag and retrieved a few items. “Lie down sweetie.” She said while massaging Jackie from head to toe with oil. Tiffany then harnessed herself with her strap on. She lubricated it well. Jackie lie on her stomach as Tiffany crawled over top her.

“Baby, I want this to be special for you. If anything is uncomfortable for you, please tell me. I just want to make love with you.” She whispered. She began fondling Jackie’s butt cheeks. She dabbed some lubricant on her finger and gently glided that finger across her opening. As the tip entered Jackie, she nuzzled her face into the crook of Jackie’s neck. Some hair tickled her nose at first. Tiffany slowly let her pelvis descend until they were joined together.

At first she barely moved. Then slowly began to pump in and out very gently. A moan escaped Jacquelyn’s lips. Tiffany kissed her neck whispering lovingly and tenderly into her ear. As she picked up the pace Jackie began to near climax. Her genitals were sliding against the sheet. They then switched to a position where Jackie’s legs were pulled up to her shoulders. They kissed as the thrust became more frequent and intense.

“Tiff I’m almost there.” Jackie gasped as her breathing intensified. Tiffany wrapped her arms around her. Her body was bucking violently in frenzied passion. Jacquelyn reached between her legs to stroke herself as she exploded. Tiffany felt the cool stickiness on her tummy. Tiffany flipped over and began to gently scissor.

Jacquelyn pushed Tiffany onto her back and unharnessed the strap on. She then slid her tongue deep into Tiffany’s vagina. Tiffany moaned loudly. She had multiple orgasms. Tiffany cried as they curled up together. “Why are you crying honey?” Jackie asked. “I’ve never been made love to before. I’ve been fucked, but never loved. I gave you a piece of my soul tonight.”

The sheets were slightly cold and damp. They didn’t care. They held onto each other into the night professing their undying love to one another. Finally around 3AM they stripped the bed and hopped in the shower. Tiffany then sat on the balcony with Jackie as she had a cigarette. She barely smoked anymore, but could not resist having one after sex.

They made up the bed with clean sheets. Tiffany lay there motionless as Jackie lovingly got her ready for bed. This usually consisted of diapering her and putting her into her PJs. Since the night was so special she decided to fix Tiffany a warm bottle of milk. With all the lights out in the condo, Jackie crawled into bed. She lay next to her feeding her the bottle.

“You know you mean everything to me. I hope I make you feel the same.” Tiffany said faintly. “You do sweetie.” She said softly while kissing her forehead. The bottle was finished and set on the nightstand. Now comfortably under the blankets Jackie pulled Tiffany into her warm embrace. Somewhere between waking and sleep, Jackie faintly spoke the words. “You have all of me.”

Tiffany heard those words echo through her. Being given over to love she felt a healing beginning in her. Beside her lay the one person with the power to heal her broken heart and mend her battle scarred psyche.

[Tiffany]

ok that worked

OK great. There will be more soon. If you liked this please let me know.
Detailed replies are helpful. So sorry for taking so long to post it LOL!

[dcw]

Well, since no other replies, I'll go first. Bravo for having the courage to post your story here. I know some of these emotions must have been hard for you to share. While i cant relate to everything in it, it is still a moving story and i hope you share the rest with us. Thanks,

[daddyjake]

tough one

like the underlying sentiment,
but find it hard to connect to
the charakters, maybe a bit more
visualisation could help that,

a less blunt approach to sex
would have been appreciated,

only did read the first part so far,
but will continue,

but thats just me

[monkeypee]

Superb.

This sissy likes it.

[Peevert]

And this Daddy likes it. Tiffany, you're really digging deep inside yourself and putting a lot of personal feelings on display. I admire that.

It crossed my mind that I made some comments a while back that could have been misunderstood. I complained about the CD guys in the chat room calling themselves girls. And I do feel that's wrong. So many of us guys have been mislead over the internet by guys pretending to be girls. And women are hurt as well when this happens, I've talked to several women who were disgusted to find out that they just shared her inner most secrets in a private chat with a guy.

I have nothing against transsexuals. I do have something against liars. If you still have a penis, you're a guy. If you have had the surgery, you're a girl. I don't think that very basic level of honesty is too much to ask.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your story, you're quite good at conveying emotions.