Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toilet behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rule against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place, you need to be 18 in order to enter high school, so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.
My name is Arnold ZIffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of Monday, September 27, 2021.
As we open this afternoon’s session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC), I note the surprising 3-0 start for our football team. This past Saturday saw them post a dramatic 34-31 overtime win against heavily favorite Westdale High School. Such is good news indeed. But not all the news from Saturday’s game is good news. It would seem that we have two toilet violation cases from Saturday – one from the band and one from the cheerleaders – to decide. Both “girls” have been charged with “Panty-Soiling.” I suppose it could have been worse – Westdale High only has port-o-potties at its football field – but as I look over the Violation Report from our Cheerleading Squad, I’m not happy at all. In fact, I’m quite angry to see that the panty-soiling was not actually one of our cheerleaders but our Cheerleading Coach Miss Musso.
“Really, Grace?” I ask her in disgust, “Three games into the season and you’ve already done a mess in your panties?” “In fact, it’s only the first game on the road this season,” I admonish the sexy, spandex-clad coach, “And you come back with a mess in your panties?” “Really, Grace?” I ask her again, “I can certainly understand how you don’t like port-o-potties, but going in your panties like that is just disgraceful!” “All your cheerleaders somehow managed to keep their panties clean at the game, but we get an accident from you,” I point out, shaking my head.
But the sexy, spandex-clad Coach Musso throws us all a surprise when she claims she did use the port-o-potty. “I used it!” she claims adamantly, “I had to go at the game and I did it in the port-o-potty like I was supposed to.” “We’re talking about bowel movements, Grace,” Mrs. Crabtree – a member of the TVPC – tells her, “It’s all well and good that you may have urinated in the port-o-potty, but obviously that wasn’t all that you needed to do.” But Grace – that is, Coach Musso – claims that she had a bowel movement in there as well. “I went both ways in the port-o-potty,” she insists, “I had to go both ways at the game and I went both ways in the port-o-potty.” To say the least, her explanation leaves me and the other members of the TVPC quite confused. Coach Musso then offers to explain further.
“It wasn’t that I went in my pants, sir,” she tells me, “I didn’t go in my pants, sir, I swear – I used the port-o-potty.” “But the thing is that I didn’t have any toilet paper – There was no toilet paper in there,” she says, “I just didn’t have anything to wipe myself with.” “It wasn’t that I went in my pants, sir – I didn’t actually go in my pants,” she explains, “It’s just that I didn’t have anything to wipe myself with afterwards.” “Look, I know it’s my own fault – I know I’m supposed to check before I sit down and go,” she acknowledges, “I know it’s still my fault that I got a mess in my panties.” “But it’s not like I just went in my panties at the game,” she argues, “I used the port-o-potty like I was supposed to.” “I didn’t want to go in the port-o-potty but I did,” the spandex-clad coach claims, “I didn’t go in my pants – I went in the toilet like I was supposed. As Coach Musso begins to ramble, I put up my hand to stop her.
Kristy, the Cheerleading Captain, is responsible for monitoring Coach Musso’s toilet habits at games and practices. She was the one, of course, that filed the Violation Report charging Coach Musso with “Panty-Soiling.” “All I know is that I found a mess in Coach Musso’s panties,” the pretty blonde captain reports, “I saw it when I checked her panties after we got back here after the game.” “It wasn’t like a big load or anything,” the senior beauty reports further, “But her panties were definitely dirty with the mess smeared in the seat and up the back of the panties.” “I guess it was kind of like skidmarks in her panties – It was streaky like that,” Kristy tells us, “But it was more than just skidmarks – It was definitely bad enough that it was a panty-soiling. Questioning our tall and pretty blonde-haired Cheerleading Captain further, she confirms that Coach Musso told her at the time that she did use the port-o-potty at the game but that she didn’t have any toilet paper to wipe herself with. “That is what she told me, sir,” Kristy confirms. “Whether it’s true or not, I can’t say,” she tells us, “I just know that she had a bit of a mess in her panties – How it got there I can’t say for sure.” But responding to a direct question from me, she says the pattern of the mess in her Cheerleading Coach’s panties – the streak of fecal matter lining the panties – is consistent with a girl not wiping herself properly. “Yeah – I guess it could have happened that way,” she tells us.
“It DID happen that way – I got stuck in the port-o-potty with nothing to wipe myself,” Coach Musso asserts again, “I used the port-o-potty like I was supposed to do – I didn’t mess in my panties.” “I don’t do that anymore – I’m trying really hard to just use the toilet when I need to,” she argues vehemently, “I’m tired of getting punished for bathroom stuff all the time – I’m trying really hard not to mess in my panties anymore.”
But obviously, you did mess in your panties, Grace,” I then tell her, “I mean, maybe it did happen, as you say, from not wiping yourself, but that doesn’t change the fact that you did indeed have a mess in your panties.” The sexy Cheerleading Coach tells us that she does understand that. “Yes, I understand – I understand the rules, sir,” she tells me. “I know I’m going to get punished for this,” she explains, “I know that this is going to count as a panty-soiling on my record,” “But I just want you all to know that I didn’t just go in my panties – I want you all to know that I did use the port-o-potty like I was supposed to do,” she explains. “I know it’s my fault for not having toilet paper to wipe myself – I know I’m still responsible for the fecal matter in my panties,” Coach Musso continues, “But I don’t want people to think that I just did it in my panties again – I just want people to know that I did use the toilet like I was supposed to.”
Her argument, apparently is one of mitigation rather than denial. That is, the argument is for a lesser punishment given the circumstances of this particular case. She is indeed responsible for what happens as a result of her not wiping herself, but it’s obviously not quite the same as simply refusing to go in the port-o-potty and then messing in your panties directly because of it. It’s a panty-soiling to be sure – and it’s also one while representing the school. But given that she apparently did do the main portion of her bowel movement in the port-o-potty, there’s certainly no reason to be particularly severe with her punishment.
After careful consideration, the TVPC finds that the typical punishment for a first panty-soiling while representing the school is sufficient in this case. Accordingly, we sentence Coach Musso to write, “I will not soil my panties in school or while coaching cheerleading again” 500 times and to serve a week of detention sitting on the toilet. Mrs. Adler, though, raises the issue of Coach Musso’s recent issues with toilet paper. “This is the second time this year, that you’ve had an issue with a lack of toilet paper, Grace,” she reminds the spandex-clad Cheerleading Coach. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely remember from our special summer session on August 24th, Grace also got stuck on the toilet in the Coaches’ Office bathroom without any toilet paper. On that occasion, she spared herself a potential mess in her panties by wiping with notebook from the desk in her office. Mrs. Adler suggests that this being an issue for Grace, the TVPC needs to address it. The committeewoman suggests that Coach Musso now be required to always carry toilet paper on her person so that, no matter what the circumstances, she’ll never be stuck without it. “I don’t want to see this ever being an issue with her again,” Mrs. Adler argues. Quite frankly, the committeewoman’s suggestion makes a great deal of sense. It is so ordered. “As part of your punishment for this panty-soiling, Grace, you will now be required to carry toilet paper on your person at all times,” Itell her and note for the record, “This will continue to be in effect until the TVPC orders you otherwise.”
Our other matter from last Saturday’s football game involves a girl in our band – Specifically, Cindy, a friendly and petite freshman drummer. And she is being charged by our Band Director with soiling her panties – apparently a case of her not wanting to use a port-o-potty at the stadium there. “It happened on the bus coming back from Saturday’s game, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Sylvester, our Band Director reports, “As far as I can tell, she simply refused to use a port-o-potty.” Immediately Cindy chimes in on that point. “I did go in the port-o-potty, ma’am,” the outgoing brunette tells her Band Director, “I went pee in there when we first got to the stadium.” “Well, that obviously wasn’t all that you needed to do now, was it?” Mrs. Sylvester angrily asks her rhetorically. “Judging by what happened on the bus ride home, urinating wasn’t the only thing you needed to do Saturday afternoon,” she admonishes the braces-clad freshman drummer, “And quite obviously you didn’t do that in the port-o-potty at the game like you were supposed to.” “I can’t believe you actually went to the port-o-potty one way but simply refused to do the other,” she lectures the girl, “I mean, I’m glad you didn’t wet your pants, too, but what sense does it make that while you’re already in the port-o-potty you only do one and not the other?
“But it wasn’t at the same time,” Cindy then explains, “I went pee when we first got there but I didn’t have to go poop until later.” “I went pee when we first got there because I know how disgusting port-o-potties can get,” she explains further, “When people start peeing and even pooping in them, they get disgusting really fast.” She tells us that she didn’t have to “go poop” until after halftime and by that time the port-o-potties were, in her words, “totally gross and disgusting.” “And doing it in your pants is not gross and disgusting?” Mrs. Sylvester questions the girl, “It’s hard to imagine anything more gross and disgusting – AND SHAMEFUL! – than that.” “There was nothing wrong with the port-o-potties there,” the pretty blonde Band Director continues, “Admittedly using them wasn’t ideal, but there was certainly no reason you had to avoid them to the point of messing in your panties.” “Going in your pants is what is gross and disgusting,” she admonishes the girl further, “You’re in high school now, young lady – I just can’t believe you’d rather do that than simply use a port-o-potty.”
But Cindy insists that it isn’t like that. “I was trying to hold it in on the bus,” she says, “It’s not like I wanted to mess in my panties.” “I was trying to hold it in until we got back here,” she explains. “I was trying to hold it in until I could get to a toilet back here,” she explains further, “The last thing I wanted was to make a mess in my pants like I did.” “NO!” Mrs. Sylvester then snaps back, “Obviously, the last thing you wanted was to do your business in a port-o-potty.” “If the last thing you wanted to do was mess in your pants, then you would have gone in the port-o-potty instead of in your pants.”
“But that bathroom was disgusting, Mrs. Sylvester,” the freshman drummer then argues, now breaking down into tears, “I’m not even going to call it a bathroom – There was just port-o-potties!” “I just couldn’t go in there – It was just disgusting,” Cindy argues further, “By the time I got there after our halftime show, they just stunk beyond belief.” “I thought I could hold it in – I really did,” she continues, “I didn’t think I was going to have an accident – I thought I could hold it in and wait until we got back here to our own school.” “And I almost made it, ma’am,” she adds, “If the trip had been 10 minutes shorter, I would have made it to the toilet.”
“But you didn’t make it to the toilet in time, Cindy,” Mrs. Sylvester lectures the girl, “The bus ride wasn’t 10 minutes shorter and you ended up going in your pants instead.” “There is no excuse for that, young lady,” she continues, “You’re in high school and in my band – There is simply no excuse for going in your pants.” Cindy, through her tears, starts to explain some more about the condition of the port-o-potties, but Mrs. Sylvester isn’t hearing any of it. “You’re the only one who ended up messing in her pants on Saturday,” Mrs. Sylvester tells her harshly. “Everyone else managed to deal with the port-o-potties just fine,” she lectures the freshman brunette, “You’re the only one who had an issue – At least the only one who had an issue to the point of going in your pants.”
But Cindy takes exception to that. “That’s probably because I was the only one who had to go poop there,” Cindy then argues, “I bet no one else had to go poop – I bet no one actually had to do THAT in the port-o-potty.” But this time it’s Mrs. Sylvester taking exception to a comment. “Really? – No one else had to?” she asks the girl. “Well, I had to do a bowel movement there,” the pretty, blonde, Band Director asserts, “I did a bowel movement there in the port-o-potty myself.” “And you know what, young lady?” she asks Cindy rhetorically, “It was a whole lot better than messing in my pants.”
My name is Arnold ZIffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of Monday, September 27, 2021.
As we open this afternoon’s session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC), I note the surprising 3-0 start for our football team. This past Saturday saw them post a dramatic 34-31 overtime win against heavily favorite Westdale High School. Such is good news indeed. But not all the news from Saturday’s game is good news. It would seem that we have two toilet violation cases from Saturday – one from the band and one from the cheerleaders – to decide. Both “girls” have been charged with “Panty-Soiling.” I suppose it could have been worse – Westdale High only has port-o-potties at its football field – but as I look over the Violation Report from our Cheerleading Squad, I’m not happy at all. In fact, I’m quite angry to see that the panty-soiling was not actually one of our cheerleaders but our Cheerleading Coach Miss Musso.
“Really, Grace?” I ask her in disgust, “Three games into the season and you’ve already done a mess in your panties?” “In fact, it’s only the first game on the road this season,” I admonish the sexy, spandex-clad coach, “And you come back with a mess in your panties?” “Really, Grace?” I ask her again, “I can certainly understand how you don’t like port-o-potties, but going in your panties like that is just disgraceful!” “All your cheerleaders somehow managed to keep their panties clean at the game, but we get an accident from you,” I point out, shaking my head.
But the sexy, spandex-clad Coach Musso throws us all a surprise when she claims she did use the port-o-potty. “I used it!” she claims adamantly, “I had to go at the game and I did it in the port-o-potty like I was supposed to.” “We’re talking about bowel movements, Grace,” Mrs. Crabtree – a member of the TVPC – tells her, “It’s all well and good that you may have urinated in the port-o-potty, but obviously that wasn’t all that you needed to do.” But Grace – that is, Coach Musso – claims that she had a bowel movement in there as well. “I went both ways in the port-o-potty,” she insists, “I had to go both ways at the game and I went both ways in the port-o-potty.” To say the least, her explanation leaves me and the other members of the TVPC quite confused. Coach Musso then offers to explain further.
“It wasn’t that I went in my pants, sir,” she tells me, “I didn’t go in my pants, sir, I swear – I used the port-o-potty.” “But the thing is that I didn’t have any toilet paper – There was no toilet paper in there,” she says, “I just didn’t have anything to wipe myself with.” “It wasn’t that I went in my pants, sir – I didn’t actually go in my pants,” she explains, “It’s just that I didn’t have anything to wipe myself with afterwards.” “Look, I know it’s my own fault – I know I’m supposed to check before I sit down and go,” she acknowledges, “I know it’s still my fault that I got a mess in my panties.” “But it’s not like I just went in my panties at the game,” she argues, “I used the port-o-potty like I was supposed to.” “I didn’t want to go in the port-o-potty but I did,” the spandex-clad coach claims, “I didn’t go in my pants – I went in the toilet like I was supposed. As Coach Musso begins to ramble, I put up my hand to stop her.
Kristy, the Cheerleading Captain, is responsible for monitoring Coach Musso’s toilet habits at games and practices. She was the one, of course, that filed the Violation Report charging Coach Musso with “Panty-Soiling.” “All I know is that I found a mess in Coach Musso’s panties,” the pretty blonde captain reports, “I saw it when I checked her panties after we got back here after the game.” “It wasn’t like a big load or anything,” the senior beauty reports further, “But her panties were definitely dirty with the mess smeared in the seat and up the back of the panties.” “I guess it was kind of like skidmarks in her panties – It was streaky like that,” Kristy tells us, “But it was more than just skidmarks – It was definitely bad enough that it was a panty-soiling. Questioning our tall and pretty blonde-haired Cheerleading Captain further, she confirms that Coach Musso told her at the time that she did use the port-o-potty at the game but that she didn’t have any toilet paper to wipe herself with. “That is what she told me, sir,” Kristy confirms. “Whether it’s true or not, I can’t say,” she tells us, “I just know that she had a bit of a mess in her panties – How it got there I can’t say for sure.” But responding to a direct question from me, she says the pattern of the mess in her Cheerleading Coach’s panties – the streak of fecal matter lining the panties – is consistent with a girl not wiping herself properly. “Yeah – I guess it could have happened that way,” she tells us.
“It DID happen that way – I got stuck in the port-o-potty with nothing to wipe myself,” Coach Musso asserts again, “I used the port-o-potty like I was supposed to do – I didn’t mess in my panties.” “I don’t do that anymore – I’m trying really hard to just use the toilet when I need to,” she argues vehemently, “I’m tired of getting punished for bathroom stuff all the time – I’m trying really hard not to mess in my panties anymore.”
But obviously, you did mess in your panties, Grace,” I then tell her, “I mean, maybe it did happen, as you say, from not wiping yourself, but that doesn’t change the fact that you did indeed have a mess in your panties.” The sexy Cheerleading Coach tells us that she does understand that. “Yes, I understand – I understand the rules, sir,” she tells me. “I know I’m going to get punished for this,” she explains, “I know that this is going to count as a panty-soiling on my record,” “But I just want you all to know that I didn’t just go in my panties – I want you all to know that I did use the port-o-potty like I was supposed to do,” she explains. “I know it’s my fault for not having toilet paper to wipe myself – I know I’m still responsible for the fecal matter in my panties,” Coach Musso continues, “But I don’t want people to think that I just did it in my panties again – I just want people to know that I did use the toilet like I was supposed to.”
Her argument, apparently is one of mitigation rather than denial. That is, the argument is for a lesser punishment given the circumstances of this particular case. She is indeed responsible for what happens as a result of her not wiping herself, but it’s obviously not quite the same as simply refusing to go in the port-o-potty and then messing in your panties directly because of it. It’s a panty-soiling to be sure – and it’s also one while representing the school. But given that she apparently did do the main portion of her bowel movement in the port-o-potty, there’s certainly no reason to be particularly severe with her punishment.
After careful consideration, the TVPC finds that the typical punishment for a first panty-soiling while representing the school is sufficient in this case. Accordingly, we sentence Coach Musso to write, “I will not soil my panties in school or while coaching cheerleading again” 500 times and to serve a week of detention sitting on the toilet. Mrs. Adler, though, raises the issue of Coach Musso’s recent issues with toilet paper. “This is the second time this year, that you’ve had an issue with a lack of toilet paper, Grace,” she reminds the spandex-clad Cheerleading Coach. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely remember from our special summer session on August 24th, Grace also got stuck on the toilet in the Coaches’ Office bathroom without any toilet paper. On that occasion, she spared herself a potential mess in her panties by wiping with notebook from the desk in her office. Mrs. Adler suggests that this being an issue for Grace, the TVPC needs to address it. The committeewoman suggests that Coach Musso now be required to always carry toilet paper on her person so that, no matter what the circumstances, she’ll never be stuck without it. “I don’t want to see this ever being an issue with her again,” Mrs. Adler argues. Quite frankly, the committeewoman’s suggestion makes a great deal of sense. It is so ordered. “As part of your punishment for this panty-soiling, Grace, you will now be required to carry toilet paper on your person at all times,” Itell her and note for the record, “This will continue to be in effect until the TVPC orders you otherwise.”
Our other matter from last Saturday’s football game involves a girl in our band – Specifically, Cindy, a friendly and petite freshman drummer. And she is being charged by our Band Director with soiling her panties – apparently a case of her not wanting to use a port-o-potty at the stadium there. “It happened on the bus coming back from Saturday’s game, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Sylvester, our Band Director reports, “As far as I can tell, she simply refused to use a port-o-potty.” Immediately Cindy chimes in on that point. “I did go in the port-o-potty, ma’am,” the outgoing brunette tells her Band Director, “I went pee in there when we first got to the stadium.” “Well, that obviously wasn’t all that you needed to do now, was it?” Mrs. Sylvester angrily asks her rhetorically. “Judging by what happened on the bus ride home, urinating wasn’t the only thing you needed to do Saturday afternoon,” she admonishes the braces-clad freshman drummer, “And quite obviously you didn’t do that in the port-o-potty at the game like you were supposed to.” “I can’t believe you actually went to the port-o-potty one way but simply refused to do the other,” she lectures the girl, “I mean, I’m glad you didn’t wet your pants, too, but what sense does it make that while you’re already in the port-o-potty you only do one and not the other?
“But it wasn’t at the same time,” Cindy then explains, “I went pee when we first got there but I didn’t have to go poop until later.” “I went pee when we first got there because I know how disgusting port-o-potties can get,” she explains further, “When people start peeing and even pooping in them, they get disgusting really fast.” She tells us that she didn’t have to “go poop” until after halftime and by that time the port-o-potties were, in her words, “totally gross and disgusting.” “And doing it in your pants is not gross and disgusting?” Mrs. Sylvester questions the girl, “It’s hard to imagine anything more gross and disgusting – AND SHAMEFUL! – than that.” “There was nothing wrong with the port-o-potties there,” the pretty blonde Band Director continues, “Admittedly using them wasn’t ideal, but there was certainly no reason you had to avoid them to the point of messing in your panties.” “Going in your pants is what is gross and disgusting,” she admonishes the girl further, “You’re in high school now, young lady – I just can’t believe you’d rather do that than simply use a port-o-potty.”
But Cindy insists that it isn’t like that. “I was trying to hold it in on the bus,” she says, “It’s not like I wanted to mess in my panties.” “I was trying to hold it in until we got back here,” she explains. “I was trying to hold it in until I could get to a toilet back here,” she explains further, “The last thing I wanted was to make a mess in my pants like I did.” “NO!” Mrs. Sylvester then snaps back, “Obviously, the last thing you wanted was to do your business in a port-o-potty.” “If the last thing you wanted to do was mess in your pants, then you would have gone in the port-o-potty instead of in your pants.”
“But that bathroom was disgusting, Mrs. Sylvester,” the freshman drummer then argues, now breaking down into tears, “I’m not even going to call it a bathroom – There was just port-o-potties!” “I just couldn’t go in there – It was just disgusting,” Cindy argues further, “By the time I got there after our halftime show, they just stunk beyond belief.” “I thought I could hold it in – I really did,” she continues, “I didn’t think I was going to have an accident – I thought I could hold it in and wait until we got back here to our own school.” “And I almost made it, ma’am,” she adds, “If the trip had been 10 minutes shorter, I would have made it to the toilet.”
“But you didn’t make it to the toilet in time, Cindy,” Mrs. Sylvester lectures the girl, “The bus ride wasn’t 10 minutes shorter and you ended up going in your pants instead.” “There is no excuse for that, young lady,” she continues, “You’re in high school and in my band – There is simply no excuse for going in your pants.” Cindy, through her tears, starts to explain some more about the condition of the port-o-potties, but Mrs. Sylvester isn’t hearing any of it. “You’re the only one who ended up messing in her pants on Saturday,” Mrs. Sylvester tells her harshly. “Everyone else managed to deal with the port-o-potties just fine,” she lectures the freshman brunette, “You’re the only one who had an issue – At least the only one who had an issue to the point of going in your pants.”
But Cindy takes exception to that. “That’s probably because I was the only one who had to go poop there,” Cindy then argues, “I bet no one else had to go poop – I bet no one actually had to do THAT in the port-o-potty.” But this time it’s Mrs. Sylvester taking exception to a comment. “Really? – No one else had to?” she asks the girl. “Well, I had to do a bowel movement there,” the pretty, blonde, Band Director asserts, “I did a bowel movement there in the port-o-potty myself.” “And you know what, young lady?” she asks Cindy rhetorically, “It was a whole lot better than messing in my pants.”
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