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**Arnold Ziffel** · December 14, 2021, 03:57 PM

But Coach Musso argues that the line for the girls’ room was just too long and it was moving way too slow. “I got in line for the girls’ room – I had every intention of going in the toilet like I was supposed to do,” she tells us, “But it was just taking forever to get through that line.” “You heard Mrs. Lynch – You heard her explain that they didn’t have enough bathrooms there,” Coach Musso explains, “All three of us had to go kind of bad and it was getting to the point where we just couldn’t wait any longer.” Libby and Darcy both nod their head in agreement with their Cheerleading Coach. “I can only speak for myself and not them,” Coach Musso adds, “But I was really starting to worry that I was going to have an accident right there in line.”

“It’s true, sir,” Libby then chimes in, “The way that line was moving I really didn’t think I was going to get to the toilet in time.” “I really think I would have had an accident,” she says, “If I had just stayed in line and waited I really do think I would have gone in my pants instead.” Darcy echoes that desperation. “I was desperate, sir,” the senior beauty tells us, “I didn’t have to go so bad at first but the longer I waited in line, the more desperate I became.” “There was no way I could have waited that long – There was no way I could have waited in that line and not had an accident,” she argues. “I was desperate, sir, I was just desperate,” she argues further, “If I hadn’t done what I did, I definitely would have had an accident.” “And I really didn’t want to have an accident,” she adds. “Obviously, it wasn’t my first choice to just pop-a-squat behind the bleachers like that – Obviously, I would have preferred the privacy of a bathroom stall and just going in the toilet the regular way,” she says, “But getting to the toilet in time just wasn’t an option.” “Same here,” Libby chimes back in. “Do you really think I preferred going to the bathroom like that?” the pretty junior asks, “Do you really think I wouldn’t have preferred to do that in a nice, clean bathroom stall?” “But like Darcy said, that just wasn’t an option anymore,” Libby argues, “It really was either pop-a-squat someplace or I was going to end up wetting my pants.”

“Look! – I know it wasn’t ideal and maybe you do have to punish the 3 of us for this,” Coach Musso then argues, “But it really was only out of sheer desperation that we did what we did.” “Obviously, none of us really wanted to do that,” the spandex-clad beauty continues, “Obviously, we’d have all preferred the privacy and comfort of the regular bathroom.” “Do you really think any of us would have done that if it wasn’t a dire emergency?” she asks – presumably rhetorically, “Do you really think we preferred popping-a-squat to using a toilet?” “I’m really sorry if it created a problem,” Coach Musso continues, a tinge of defiance in her voice, “But I just wasn’t about to mess in my panties again!”

That last comment catches the members of the TVPC by surprise. The comment, in fact, all but shocks the members of the TVPC and pretty much everyone else in the committee room. “MESSING your panties?” Mrs. Crabtree, a member of the committee, asks her, “Did you say you did it to avoid MESSING in your panties?” Coach Musso’s reference to not wanting to mess her panties catches pretty much everyone by surprise. I then, as Chairman of the committee, repeat that question for Coach Musso. “Am I to understand that it was a bowel movement that you did behind the bleachers on Saturday?” I ask her, “The thing is I and I think the rest of the TVPC just assumed that you and Libby and Darcy had only urinated back there.”

But Coach Musso then confirms that it was indeed a bowel movement that she did outside popping-a-squat behind the bleachers at the game. “Well, to be honest, I went both ways,” the pretty and sexy, spandex-clad Cheerleading Coach acknowledges, “But I guess the answer to the question is that I did do a bowel movement.” As noted, that revelation sends shock waves through not only the committee members but pretty much the whole room. “Defecating In An Inappropriate Place” is, of course, a more serious violation than merely “Urinating In An Inappropriate Place.” “Urinating outside like that is bad enough,” Mrs. Adler, another committeewoman, then angrily tells her, “But this is obviously much worse.” The rest of the TVPC is left just shaking their heads at the toilet-troubled Cheerleading Coach.

“What about the other two?” I then ask Coach Musso, “Did Libby and Darcy do bowel movements back there as well?” “Darcy did – She went both ways, too,” Coach Musso reports, “But Libby only urinated.” Once again, I and the other members of the TVPC are left just shaking our heads – This time, of course, at Darcy. “I had to go – I had an emergency,” the sexy senior blonde reiterates. “I was desperate,” she says, “It was all I could do to avoid messing in my pants.” “I’ve messed in my pants before – One time I went in my pants both ways,” she says, “And trust me when I tell you that it’s not something I want to ever do again.” “Fortunately, I can’t say that I’ve ever done either of them in my pants – At least since I’m old enough to remember,” Libby then adds, “But it certainly doesn’t seem like it’s something I’d like doing, either.” Libby, of course, remains charged with “only” urinating outside that day.

Did you girls even wipe yourselves after you went?” Mrs. Adler then asks them. “It’s one thing to drip-dry after you urinate,” she says, “I mean, that’s kind of gross but, in a pinch, that’s not too bad.” “But going without wiping when it’s a bowel movement is just something else entirely,” the committeewoman adds, an expression of disgust on her face, “That’s just completely disgusting.” But Coach Musso explains that she had toilet paper with her. “I always carry toilet paper with me now -- I had enough for everybody,” Coach Musso tells us, “I even had enough to give Libby some.” Questioning Coach Musso further, I ask the spandex-clad beauty about that toilet paper. “We all threw our used toilet paper in the garbage can,” she says, “I wouldn’t let them just throw it on the ground.” “Well, at least that’s something,” I tell her. Obviously, putting used toilet paper in the garbage can is not ideal but it’s certainly better than just throwing it on the ground. Throwing it on the ground would have meant further punishment for them all.

Finally, getting the matter of punishment, I address Libby first. I tell her, “You will first write, ‘I will not urinate in an inappropriate place in school or while cheerleading again’ 500 times.” I then turn and address both Darcy and Coach Musso. “And you two will write that sentence 1,000 times,” I tell them – Noting, obviously, that they are to substitute the word “defecate” for “urinate” in their writing. Additionally, Libby and Darcy are each sentenced to a week of detention while Coach Musso will have to serve two weeks detention. Furthermore, Coach Musso, for the next month, will be spending one of her free periods sitting on a toilet in the girls’ locker room. “And that will be in the stall without a door on it,” I tell her and note for the record. “And Coach Musso will also do the next 10 bowel movements that she has in school in that same doorless girls’ room stall,” I then stipulate, “While Darcy will do her next 5 in-school bowel movements there.” The blonde-haired senior beauty lets out an audible groan at hearing that. “I have to go without a door on the stall?” she complains, “I have to go without any privacy?” “You went outside without any stall at all,” I angrily remind her, “You went completely out in the open where anyone could have seen you.” “I think you can handle an open bathroom stall in the girls’ locker room,” I tell her, a tinge of sarcasm in my voice. As for Libby, who “only” urinated outside – Again, that being a lesser violation -- she will be exempt for having to go in the doorless stall.

This was quite the shameful episode, Grace,” I tell the sexy Cheerleading Coach, “Shame on you!” “And shame on both of you as well,” I angrily admonish Libby and Darcy.
Before moving away from matters at Saturday’s game, there are two other matters of concern to the TVPC. Specifically, these were two matters in the girls’ room at Saturday’s game – one being a clogged toilet and the other being fecal matter smeared on a toilet seat – that remained under investigation. Fortunately, neither of them seemed to involve our girls or anyone else associated with our school, but, as I noted, both were still under investigation.

The clogged toilet was actually discovered by Miss Bliss, one of our History Teachers. She was at the game simply as a spectator and not in any official capacity for our school. “I went to the bathroom at halftime like a lot of people did,” the friendly and pretty History Teacher reports, “But when I finally got to a stall I found the toilet in there badly clogged. “It looked like a pretty standard clog, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Bliss explains, “Some girl obviously did quite the large bowel movement and then apparently added a whole lot of toilet paper to the bowl.” “It looked pretty routine – Your basic Category #2 clog, Mr. Chairman,” she tells me. “And it looked like the clog could possibly have been averted if only she had flushed the bowel movement first and then went about wiping herself,” she says, “It looked like the bowel movement and the toilet paper together was just too much to flush all at once.” Miss Bliss also tells us, that she, of course, didn’t actually use the clogged toilet but instead went into a different stall to do her business. “Obviously, I didn’t want to make it worse by using a toilet that was already clogged,” she confirms, “Even though I only had to urinate.”

Getting back to Mrs. Lynch, she reports on the fecal matter smeared on the toilet seat. “I didn’t actually find that myself, Mr. Chairman,” the pretty, blonde-haired Band Director reports, “One of the girls in my band actually found it and she showed it to me.” “I, of course, then reported it to the administration there,” she says, “And I presume they then conducted their investigation.” “I don’t think it was a matter of someone intentionally smearing it on the toilet seat, though,” Mrs. Lynch continues, “It looked more like the results of someone having had an accident and then trying to use the toilet afterwards.” “I can’t say whether the girl went in there to try to clean herself up afterwards or if she was just trying to urinate or even do the rest of the bowel movement in the toilet,” she speculates, “But it definitely looked like someone with an already messy behind had sat down on that toilet seat.” “I didn’t have any reason to suspect that it was one of our girls, though,” she adds, “Or anyone affiliated with our school for that matter.”

Well, it turns out that Mrs. Lynch is quite right – Both as to how the toilet seat ended up smeared with fecal matter and that it was no one affiliated with our school that did it. “A little while ago we were notified by the staff at Metropolis HS that their investigation is complete,” I announce and note for the record, “And in both of those incidents it was a girl from West Beverly HS who was responsible. “It was a West Beverly HS senior named Kelly who was responsible for clogging the toilet,” I note, “Apparently, between her rather large bowel movement and all that toilet paper she used, she simply overwhelmed that poor toilet.” “And it was another West Beverly HS senior – This one named Brenda – Who was responsible for the mess on the toilet seat,” I also note, “Just as Mrs. Lynch had suspected, it was indeed the result of a girl having done a mess in her panties.” “Brenda apparently messed in her panties while waiting in line for the girls’ room,” I explain, “And then when she sat down to do the rest in the toilet, she managed to get a good bit from her messy behind onto the toilet seat.”

“Whether they get punished for this sort of thing at West Beverly High School, I can’t say,” I then point out, “But the most important thing as far as the TVPC is concerned, is that no one from our school was involved in either incident.

**Arnold Ziffel** · December 14, 2021, 04:01 PM

Moving on to cases from today, I call before the TVPC a tall and very pretty blonde named Mary. Mary, a junior, is well-known throughout the school as a member of our highly successful girls’ basketball team and the daughter of a local minister. This afternoon, she has been charged with “Urinating in a Clogged Toilet.” The charges come from Miss Mars, the girl’s Gym Teacher. The charge is not that Mary clogged the toilet, but merely that she urinated in a toilet that already clogged. Apparently, this all happened just as she was finishing up with her Gym class during 7^th period earlier this afternoon. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, girls are prohibited from urinating or defecating in any toilet that is clogged or otherwise not functioning properly. Apparently, someone had tried to flush a sanitary pad down that toilet earlier that period and that caused the clog. Apparently, Mary then came along and urinated in that clogged toilet. Urinating in a clogged toilet, of course, is a less serious violation than defecating in one.

“I just didn’t realize that the toilet was clogged,” Mary tells us, “I didn’t realize that until I tried to flush it and the water came rising up to the top of the bowl.” “I guess I’m lucky it didn’t overflow,” she says, “I still had my pants down and the stall door locked – It would have been hard to high-tail it out of the way if it did overflow.” The comment – Or rather her exaggerated mannerisms in telling the story – raises a few giggles in the committee room. The athletic junior beauty goes on to explain that she had to go pretty bad by the end of gym class today. “I guess I really should have gone before gym class,” Mary explains, “But for whatever reason, I just didn’t.” “Maybe I drank too much water at lunch or something because by the time we were done in gym, I really had to go bad,” she says, “So after class, I just headed immediately over to the toilet to do what I needed to do.” “I just took the first stall that was open, yanked down my sweats and sat down,” Mary explains further, “I really wasn’t paying much attention to whether the toilet was clogged or not.” “I’m sorry but, as I said, I just didn’t know it was clogged,” the pretty, blonde basketball star continues, “I really didn’t know there was a problem until I tried to flush the toilet and the water swirled right up to the top of the bowl.” “I obviously wouldn’t have used it if I knew it was clogged,” Mary adds, “I definitely would have gone and used a different toilet instead.”

As the pretty and popular junior tells her story, I see Miss Mars nodding her head – apparently in agreement. “I certainly don’t think Mary did it on purpose or anything like that,” Miss Mars tells us, “I certainly do think she had an emergency like she said and just quickly sat down on the toilet without knowing it was clogged.” “I mean, she definitely did urinate in the clogged toilet – She definitely is guilty of that,” the pretty Gym Teacher explains, “But I really can’t fault her too much – It really was hard to tell that the toilet was clogged.” “Apparently the pad was stuck deeper in the bend at the bottom of the toilet,” Miss Mars continues, “Even if Mary had been more careful and wasn’t rushing to the toilet I still don’t think she would have been able to see that that it was clogged.” “And I certainly do think she would have used a different toilet if she knew it was clogged, Mr. Chairman,” she adds, “I certainly don’t think she used the clogged toilet on purpose.” The implication, of course, is that Mary should receive only the minimum punishment for this.

But before we can even get to the matter of the girl’s punishment, Mary’s attention is suddenly diverted elsewhere. Suddenly entering the committee room is Mary’s younger sister Lucy – A more quiet and self-conscious sophomore brunette. Lucy had been scheduled for toilet-sitting detention this afternoon in the New Addition Girls’ Room – A consequence of her having snuck into a faculty bathroom (the one in the Librarian’s office) and having a bowel movement there. Unfortunately, Lucy is not alone as she enters the committee room this afternoon. With her is our ace restroom monitor Mrs. Johns and neither she nor Lucy look happy. Mrs. Johns was assigned this afternoon, as she often is, to make the rounds in our various girls’ rooms checking on girls doing toilet sitting and bathroom cleaning punishments. Maybe it’s the unspoken intuition between sisters or maybe its Lucy’s past history, but Mary seems to immediately know what this is all about.

“Please tell me that you didn’t!” Mary then rather harshly questions her sister, “Please tell that you didn’t have another accident!” But Lucy need not even answer her sister verbally for Mary to know that she did. The pained and embarrassed look on Lucy’s face tells her older sister all that she needs to know. And if that’s not enough, the deliberate way that Lucy is walking and the noticeable round bulge in the seat of the younger girl’s pants are further tell-tale signs that Lucy’s got a messy load in her panties. But just as I’m about to grab my gavel and refocus Mary’s attention on her case, she launches into a tirade against her younger sister.

“Do you have any idea how disgusting and shameful that it?” she angrily admonishes Lucy, “I mean, do you realize that you’re in high school now, Lucy?” Mary asks her sister rhetorically, “How can you not just go do it in the toilet when you need to?” “You’re a sophomore now, for pete’s sake,” Mary continues, “Do you really think mom and dad are going to put up with another year of you going in your pants like this?” “And don’t for a minute think I’m going to cover for you anymore with this,” she angrily tells Lucy, “I’ve had enough of you hiding your soiled underwear in our room.” “As far as I’m concerned, if you can’t go in the toilet like a girl your age should, then you deserve every bit of punishment you get,” the tall and pretty basketball star adds. Mary’s harsh words bring Lucy to tears and I bang my gavel to stop it. Quite frankly, it was my fault for even letting it get that far in the first place.

“Stop!” I tell Mary, “We’ll be dealing with Lucy’s case in a moment and you’re welcome to stay if you want.” “But we still have to finish your case first,” I tell the pretty blonde junior. Mary nods her head that she understands. As previously noted, her case is not a serious one – She not only didn’t know the toilet was clogged when she used it, she only urinated in it. Furthermore, it’s only Mary’s first toilet violation of any kind for the year. For punishment, I give Mary the choice of either an hour of detention or writing “I will not urinate in a clogged toilet again” 100 times. Mary – No doubt surprised at the leniency of her punishment – hesitates a moment. She then happily chooses the one hour detention. “It’s better than writing lines,” she says, “I really hate that.”

Now taking a seat in the detention section, Mary watches intently as her sister is called to the podium to face the consequences for soiling her panties today.

“Well, I caught Lucy sitting on the toilet in soiled panties,” Mrs. Johns reports, getting right to the point, “I was doing a routine check of the girls doing toilet sitting punishment and Lucy was right there on the toilet with her badly soiled panties down at her knees.” As noted, Lucy was being punished with toilet sitting detention (among other things) for sneaking in and using a faculty bathroom. “It looked like Lucy was trying to play it calm – Sitting on the toilet trying to look calm as she served her punishment,” Mrs. Johns continues, “I think she was just hoping I wouldn’t check her that closely and I wouldn’t see the soiled panties.” “But you really should know me better than that, Lucy,” she turns and tells the toilet-troubled sophomore brunette, “With a mess like that in your panties, there’s no way I wasn’t going to notice that.” Lucy seems to acknowledge that. “I know,” she says meekly as she tries to dry her eyes, explaining that she just thought playing it casually was her best bet. “I was just hoping for the best,” she says, “I didn’t really think it was going to work but I was just hoping for the best.” “If I did something to try and hide it, you would have noticed that, too,” she tells Mrs. Johns.

While Lucy was caught with her soiled panties in the girls’ room, that’s obviously not where the accident actually occurred. I mean, she was sitting on the toilet at the time. Naturally, I ask her about that. Lucy then explains that she first felt the need to go in her 6^th period History Class, and she first felt some of it in her panties during 7^th period English. “So I guess that’s when you have to say that I first had the accident,” Lucy explains. “But it really didn’t get that bad until later,” the sweet and friendly sophomore beauty explains further, “A lot more came out in my panties during 8^th period Geometry.” A quick glance over at Mary shows the frustration on the older sister’s face as Lucy gives that explanation. “And you didn’t even think about going to the girls’ room the whole time?” Mary asks her sarcastically. “I guess I kind of thought about it,” Lucy answers meekly, not even able to look Mary in the eye, “I just didn’t do it.” With that acknowledgement, she lowers her head in shame. As I quickly put up my hand to stop any more comments from Mary, the tall, athletic beauty is left just shaking her head.

Mrs. Crabtree questions how Lucy was even able to make it to the girls’ room to serve her toilet sitting detention without getting caught before that. “I mean, that looks like quite a load you’ve got there,” the committeewoman tells Lucy, obviously referring to the big bulge in the seat of the girls’ pants, “I find it hard to believe that Mrs. Euclid wouldn’t notice something like that.” Mrs. Euclid, of course, is the girl’s Geometry Teacher. But Lucy explains that the mess in her panties – Specifically the size of the load in her panties – Wasn’t that bad just yet. “I mean, it was bad, of course, but it really wasn’t as bad as all that,” Lucy explains, “I think a bunch of it was trapped in the crack of my behind.” “That didn’t all finally come out until I was already out of class and on my way to the girls’ room to serve my detention,” she says, “I think most of that came out just as I was pulling down my pants and panties in the girls’ room.”

“That’s just disgusting!” Mrs. Adler then chimes in, “That’s just unspeakably disgusting, young lady!” “You should really be ashamed of yourself!” she yells at Lucy, “I can’t believe a girl your age would do that rather than just go in the toilet when she needs to.” Looking over at Mary, I see her nodding her head in agreement with the committeewoman. “When are you going to learn to go at school like you should,” Mrs. Adler continues lecturing Lucy, “Obviously, this has been an ongoing problem for you.” The latter comment, no doubt, a reference to Lucy’s 5 panty-soilings last year as a freshman.

That comment, though, prompts Lucy to defend herself a bit – Specifically, that it’s only her first accident of the school year. “It’s not like last year,” the pretty sophomore brunette tells Mrs. Adler through her tears. “I know I shouldn’t do it at all,” she says, “But it is only my first one this year.”

That comment from Lucy, though, is apparently too much for Mary to take. “Oh Please!” Mary then shouts out. “Just because it’s only the first time you’ve been caught doesn’t mean it’s only the first time you’ve done it,” she tells Lucy. The comment, of course, resonates with me and the other members of the TVPC. “I’m sorry, Lucy,” Mary then tells her sister, “But like I said before, I’m just not going to cover for you any longer.” “You’ve got to stop doing this – You’ve got to stop messing in your panties,” she lectures Lucy, “I’m not doing you any favors helping you hide your accidents.” “I’m not going to just let you hide your soiled panties in our room anymore – I’m just not,” Mary lectures her further, “Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? – Do you have any idea how bad that smells?”

“You haven’t seen any hidden in our room for a long time,” Lucy then argues back. “Yeah! – Because you know I’m going to tell mom and dad if I find any,” Mary then yells back at Lucy, “And you know you’re only going to get punished even worse for hiding it if you do.” “Now you try to clean them before anybody finds out what you did,” she tells Lucy further, “I guess that’s at least an improvement over trying to hide them in our room like you used to do.”

Lucy then looks back at Mary puzzled – As if asking how Mary knows about that. Mary gives Lucy a look back as if to ask how can she NOT know. “You don’t think I notice how long you’re in the bathroom sometimes,” she tells Lucy, “You don’t think I know what you’re doing when I hear the water running constantly while you’re in there.” “Really, Lucy?” she asks her sister incredulously, “What am I supposed to think when I see you heading immediately for the bathroom when you get home from school and then hearing the water constantly running while you’re in there?” “Do you really think I don’t know you’re trying to clean out the mess in your panties before mom or dad gets home?” she asks Lucy rhetorically. Lucy, in turn, has nothing to say in response. Apparently, she did think she was keeping such things a secret.

**Arnold Ziffel** · December 14, 2021, 04:05 PM

Questioning Mary further, the tall, athletic beauty tells us of at least two more accidents that Lucy has had this school year. “She did one the 2^nd week of school,” Mary tells us, “And she did one that one time she had detention.” “They were two times that I know of,” Mary explains, “Who even knows how many others she’s had.”

Lucy, though, first tries to claim – Or at least imply – That neither of them actually happened in school.” “How do you know they didn’t happen on the way home from school?” she asks Mary. “I don’t care when they happened! – You still did it,” Mary then fires right back angrily, “Just because it may not have happened at school doesn’t make it any less disgusting!” “Just because they didn’t actually happen until you were walking home from school doesn’t make them any less shameful,” she angrily tells Lucy, “It still happened because you refuse to do it in the toilet at school like you should.”

But in spite of Mary’s point – A sound point, to be sure – The details of when the accidents happened do matter to the TVPC. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know – And Lucy surely knows as well – The TVPC can only punish accidents occurring at school or at official school functions. And we here at the TVPC really have no way of knowing now precisely when those two accidents did occur. But Lucy, though, is the daughter of a minister and as such, I suspect she’s not a very good liar. Questioning her further, she admits that though one of those accidents did only occur as she was walking home from school, one of them – The one she did the 2^nd week of school – Did actually happen at school. “It happened in 8^th period Geometry Class that day,” she says, “A bunch more did come out in my panties on the way home but some was already in my panties in Geometry Class.” “But the other one – The one that happened after detention that day – Didn’t happen until I was already on way home,” she insists, “I was trying to hold it in until I got home but I just didn’t make it.” “If I hadn’t of had detention, I surely would have made it,” she says. “Obviously, that’s no excuse,” I tell her, “The fact of the matter is that you did have detention and that’s all the more reason why you shouldn’t have been trying to hold it in until you got home.” “Yes, sir,” Lucy answers me, too ashamed to even look me in the eye.

The truth of the matter, though, is that this does work out pretty well for Lucy. Notwithstanding the punishment from her parents, she’s actually going to be let off pretty lightly as far as the TVPC is concerned. “The accident that she did have in school was her first toilet violation of the school year,” I point out and note for the record, “And therefore, she only gets a warning for that.” “And the second one, not having happened in school, is not a matter for the TVPC at all,” I note further. But the fact that she did have a prior accident in school – The one she did the 2^nd week of school – does make her panty-soiling today her second such violations this school year. Accordingly, she’ll get an increased punishment for that.

Mary apparently can’t help but chime in on that point. She suggests that her sister be sentenced to having to clean up the mess right here in school. “That’s the only way she’s going to learn, sir,” Mary tells me, “That’s the only way she’s going to get the message that sometimes she simply has to go at school.” “The only way she is going to get it is if she knows the alternative to going at school is having to clean up the mess here at school instead.” Mary argues. She points out that Lucy suddenly stopped having accidents last year when she was threatened that if she did it again, it would mean having to clean up the mess in the girls’ room. Mrs. Adler agrees with Mary. “I don’t see any reason why we have to wait until it’s a girl’s 6^th accident before we make her clean it up here at school,” the committeewoman argues, “Maybe if we made more girls clean up their accident right here at school, they’d get the message a lot sooner that it’s better to use the toilet than go in their pants.”

There is certainly wisdom in that argument – Lucy would no doubt be sent a very strong message if we did indeed make her clean it up in the girls’ room down the hall – But that is going considerably overboard for what is still only her 2^nd panty-soiling violation of the school year. And while the bulge in her pants is certainly indicative that she’s done a full bowel movement in her panties, it’s not such that it qualifies for an enhanced punishment as a particularly severe accident, either. Still, she’s got a violation on her toilet record for using a faculty bathroom – Apparently she doesn’t mind so much doing her bowel movements there – That we can consider in determining her punishment. Accordingly, Lucy is sentenced to a week of detention and writing, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 300 times. “But that will be a week of toilet sitting detention,” I tell her and note for the record, “After you finish your current toilet sitting sentence for using the faculty bathroom, you’ll serve another week for this.”

“And please be advised, young lady, “I then sternly warn her, “That we really don’t have to wait until your 6^th such accident before we assign you to clean up your mess at school.” “That’s only a guideline,” I remind her, “You could very easily find yourself in the girls’ room cleaning yourself up a lot sooner than that if your panty-soilings continue.” Hopefully, that will at least give Lucy something to think about.

Taking a moment to delve back into Mary’s matter, the TVPC is concerned, of course, that Mary’s toilet was clogged. Specifically, we are concerned that some girl obviously tried to flush a sanitary pad down the toilet rather than dispose of it properly. Obviously, TVPC rules require that girls dispose of those things properly and specifically prohibit flushing them down the toilet. “Obviously, those things can easily clog the toilet,” I note, “And that specifically did happen in this case.” Furthermore, flushing sanitary pads down the toilet is no small offense. A first offense brings the punishment of a hefty writing assignment and a good stretch in detention – Including the possibility of bathroom cleaning detention. And a second offense carries the possibility of a toilet suspension.

Unfortunately, in this particular case, though, we don’t seem to know who it was that tried to flush one of her sanitary pads down the toilet thereby clogging the toilet in the process. “Well, we have it narrowed down at least a little bit,” reports Miss Mars, “We know that it happened during 7^th period this afternoon – We just don’t know who did it.” “The thing is that a lot of girls have access to those toilets during a Gym period,” Miss Mars explains.” “Carly and Hermoine both used that same stall in the girls’ locker room at the start of the period,” the pretty Gym Teacher points out, “They both tell me that they did bowel movements in there.” “They also tell me that they didn’t have any problems flushing the toilet so we know it was working fine then,” she explains further, “But when Mary was using at the end of the period that sanitary pad was clogging it.” “So obviously it was sometime during 7^th period that some girl went in there and tried to flush that pad down,” Miss Mars adds, “And obviously she clogged the toilet in the process.”

Accepting that report, the TVPC then authorizes a full investigation into the matter. “Would you like to lead that investigation?” I ask Miss Mars. Miss Mars – Young as she is – Is one of our top investigators. “Yes, I would,” she tells me, accepting the assignment.

For the next matter before the TVPC, I’m pleased to welcome Miss McMurphy – our school nurse. She has charged Barbara, a quite pretty and popular but decidedly toilet-troubled junior brunette, with improper use of the bathroom in her office. The nurse has a more private, single user bathroom that a lot of girls like but only girls who have legitimate business in the nurse’s office are allowed to use it. Barbara is accused of pretending to be sick and thereby having a legitimate reason to be in Nurse McMurphy’s office. And with a legitimate reason to be in the nurse’s office, of course, she could legitimately use the bathroom there. The only problem with that, however, is that Miss McMurphy is a smart woman and she is wise to these tricks.

“You know it wasn’t that I was actually faking being sick,” Barbara claims in her defense, “I really did have a stomach ache.” But Nurse McMurphy just gives her a look. “You had a stomach ache because you had to go to the bathroom,” Miss McMurphy tells the girl, “You gave yourself a stomach ache by holding it in when you should have just gone to the girls’ room and moved your bowels there.” “My bathrooms is for students who are legitimately sick,” she lectures the girl, “It’s not for girls who make themselves sick because they don’t want to have a bowel movement in the girls’ room.” I wholeheartedly agree with Nurse McMurphy’s point. “Simply needing to have a bowel movement – Stomach ache or not – Is not a legitimate reason to go to the nurse’s office,” I lecture the sweet but toilet-trouble brunette, “When you need to have a bowel movement you need to be going to the girls’ room not the nurse’s office.” But for Barbara using the girls’ rooms in school – That is, using them for a bowel movement – Has been ongoing struggle. It’s a struggle that she simply takes ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Turning to Miss McMurphy, she reports that prior to 7^th period, Barbara came to her office complaining of being sick. “She said she had a stomach ache and felt nauseous,” the pretty school nurse reports. “I was kind of suspicious right off the bat,” she tells us, “I didn’t really think she was legitimately sick but at this point I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.” “So I had her go lie down in the sick room,” Miss McMurphy explains, “I told her to just lie down and give it some time and we’ll see how she feels in a little while.” “But it didn’t take long, Mr. Chairman,” the ever vigilant Miss McMurphy continues, “It wasn’t long before Barbara suddenly needed to use the toilet.” “It was all obviously quite contrived, Mr. Chairman,” the school nurse explains further, “It was all so convenient how the stomach ache so suddenly turned into an emergency to use the toilet.” “It was all so readily obvious,” she adds, “The whole point of Barbara coming to my office was simply so she could use the bathroom there.”

Looking over at the junior beauty, I see her nodding her head in acknowledgement of that. Upon questioning from me, Barbara admits that her stomach ache was indeed the result of her holding in a bowel movement for several hours this morning – A bowel movement that she really didn’t want to do in the girls’ room like she was supposed to. “I was initially trying to hold it in and wait until I got home,” she explains, “But it suddenly reached a point where I knew I wasn’t going to make it that long.” “I didn’t want to do it in the girls’ room – I hate doing #2’s in the girls’ room,” the toilet-troubled beauty continues, “I mean, I guess it’s better than going in my panties, but I still don’t like going #2 in the girls’ room.” “It’s just that the bathroom in the nurse’s office is just so nice,” Barbara explains further, “I really like how it has way more privacy than any of the stalls in any of the girls’ rooms.” “It’s not like I don’t pee in the girls’ rooms, sir,” she tells me, “It’s just that I like having more privacy when it’s #2 that I gotta do.” She goes on to explain that she did do her bowel movement in the nurse’s office bathroom and she points out that she did so without incident. “It wasn’t that I clogged the toilet or messed up the bathroom or anything like that,” she points out, “I just did my business, wiped myself, and flushed it all away.” “Please, sir – That bathroom is just so nice,” she pleads with me, “All I did was use the toilet, sir – I just wanted to have a little more privacy for going #2.”

While Barbara’s pleas are obviously sincere and it is true that she did use the toilet without incident – Nurse McMurphy confirms that – We still can’t allow just anyone to use the Nurse’s Office bathroom. And I, of course, tell Barbara that. “I’m sorry, Barbara,” I tell her, “But TVPC rules are very clear about this.” “The Nurse’s Office Bathroom is only for those who have legitimate business in the nurse’s office,” I remind her sternly, “And simply not wanting to do your business in the girls’ room is not a legitimate reason to go to the nurse’s office.” Barbara nods her head and tells me that she understands.

Checking the girl’s toilet record this year, she has a prior offense for panty-soiling – no doubt another occasion where she didn’t want to do her bowel movement in the girls’ room – and one for being late to class for bathroom purposes. But this is her first offense for using a bathroom that she wasn’t entitled to use. Still, this is a somewhat serious offense as we want to discourage other girls from doing this. For punishment, she will have to write “I will not use the nurse’s office bathroom without a legitimate reason again” 500 times. And she’ll also have to serve a full week in detention. Furthermore, she is duly warned that another offense of this sort will be dealt with even more sternly. “If there’s a next time, your punishment is going to be a whole lot worse,” I warn her, “Next time you’ll be looking at a possible toilet suspension for this.” Barbara once again nods her head, presumably to indicate that she understands.

**Arnold Ziffel** · December 14, 2021, 04:08 PM

Our next case is a student-brought case. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, not all TVPC cases are brought by teachers and staff members. Students are perfectly free to bring toilet violation cases against other students. In this case, a junior slacker named Kim has filed Violations Reports against two of her classmates – specifically, a very bright and articulate honor student named Blossom and a chatty and oftentimes ditzy light-haired brunette named Six. BLOSSOM and Six are close friends in spite of having quite different personalities. Kim is accusing the two of them of violating TVPC rules requiring that only one girl occupy a toilet stall at a time. Specifically, what the two of them were doing in the toilet stall together, the junior blonde doesn’t say.

Blossom – speaking for both of them – pleads “Not Guilty” to the charge. Not only that, she seems quite annoyed that the charges were even brought in the first place. She turns and gives Kim a dirty look in expressing that annoyance. “Well, you brought a charge against me last year,” she tells Blossom in response, “I had to do a whole week on toilet suspension because of you.” “You had to do a week on toilet suspension because you smoked in the girls’ room,” Blossom immediately snaps back, “And, as far as I’m concerned, it should have been two weeks.” “Some girls don’t use the bathrooms at school because of girls smoking in there,” the articulate blonde-haired honor student continues, “It’s about time smokers got a taste of that same thing.” Blossom then turns to me and asks that the charges against Six and herself be immediately dropped. “Obviously, Kim is doing this in retaliation against me for filing charges against her last year,” the articulate junior beauty argues. But Blossom’s request is denied. “Obviously, it is in retaliation,” I tell her, while turning to glare at Kim in the process, “I agree with you on that point.” “But that still doesn’t mean that you didn’t do it, Blossom,” I tell her, “That still doesn’t automatically make you and Six innocent of the charge.”

Turning now to Kim, the blonde-haired junior underachiever – A certified “Freak” on the FREAKS AND GEEKS scale -- Reports that this happened right after 5^th period in the 2^nd Floor Girls’ Room. “I had just peed and was coming out of the stall,” Kim tells us, “And that’s when I saw Blossom going in and coming out of the stall that Six was in.” “Six was the one actually using the toilet – At least she was the one sitting on the toilet, sir,” Kim reports further, “And it was Blossom that went into the stall while Six was already on the toilet.” In saying that, she turns and gives Blossom a dirty look. “I know they’re friends, sir, and they do everything together,” she tells me, although obviously intending it more for Blossom and Six, “But I still think they each should be able to at least use the toilet by themselves.”

“And I suppose you didn’t see the toilet paper in my hand,” Blossom angrily – and uncharacteristically – lashes back at Kim, “Why don’t you tell the full story of what actually happened?” I and the rest of the TVPC are a bit taken aback by Blossom’s angry tone. She’s typically a happy, cheery sort and seeing her angry is quite unusual. I tell her to just calm down and tell us from the beginning what actually happened. I’d hate to see her reputation as a quiet, well-spoken sort be placed in JEOPARDY over this. “Please give us the full story – as you say,” I tell the pretty and likeable junior.

Blossom then takes the opportunity to do so. “Six and I both went to the girls’ room like we usually do before lunch,” she explains, “We usually meet up in the girls’ room there before heading downstairs to lunch.” “I only had to urinate,” Blossom tells me – impressing me with her use of the correct terminology, “But Six was taking longer because she had to go both ways.” Looking over at Six, I see the friendly junior beauty nodding her head. “But I forgot to check for toilet paper first,” Six chimes in, “So when I go to wipe myself, I’ve got no toilet paper at all.” “This whole thing is just so ridiculous, sir,” she argues, “Neither of us were doing anything wrong.” “All Blossom was doing was bringing me some toilet paper,” she explains, “I was stuck on the toilet without any and Blossom just got me some from a different stall.” “That’s it – That’s all that happened, sir,” the pretty junior brunette assures me. “Blossom just reached in and gave me some toilet paper,” Six explains further, “It’s not like she stayed there with me while I wiped myself, sir.” “I assure you that I can use the toilet just fine all by myself,” she then turns and tells Kim sarcastically, using the girl’s own words against her.

Blossom then chimes in and echoes her friend’s explanation. “I had finished my own business and I was waiting for Six to finish hers,” the pretty and articulate junior honor student explains, “And that was when Six told me she was stuck without any toilet paper and needed some.” “So I just went to an open stall and got her some, sir,” Blossom tells me. “The only time I went into her stall, sir, was to hand the toilet paper to her,” she explains further, “And then I stepped back out and gave her the privacy to do what she needed to do.”

Hearing that, I have to check back with Kim. Quite frankly, if that’s all that happened between Six and Blossom in the stall, I’m a bit angry at Kim for bringing these charges as well. Questioning the junior slacker further, she does reluctantly admit that’s what did happened. I then admonish her for leaving that detail out of the Violation Reports she filed in this matter. But Kim argues that everything she put in the Violation Reports was true. “Blossom went into the stall while Six was on the toilet, sir,” she reiterates, “And that’s what I put in both Violation Reports.” “Everything I said in those Violation Reports was true,” she adds, “Blossom and Six were both in the same toilet stall together – Blossom went in there while Six was on the toilet.”

“Blossom stepped into the stall to give Six some toilet paper to wipe herself,” I then point out again to Kim, my annoyance evident, “That much was entirely relevant and you certainly should have included that in your Violations Reports.” “Blossom was helping a friend, young lady,” I tell her, in a bit of an angry tone, “She may have saved Six from a panty-soiling violation from not being able to wipe herself after her bowel movement.” “There obviously was nothing wrong with what she did,” I tell the girl, in no uncertain terms. “Blossom and Six being the same toilet stall together was only brief and incidental and it had the legitimate purpose of Blossom bringing Six the toilet paper that she needed,” I note for the record, “We’re certainly not going to punish either of them for that.” The TVPC obviously finds them both “Not Guilty” of the charges.

The final item on our agenda this afternoon is a bit of committee business. For this I call before the TVPC Heather C., a very pretty and fashionable junior blonde. Last Friday morning, she handed in 500 times of “I will not spread nasty, toilet-related rumors about teachers or anyone else again.” This stems from her conduct of one week ago when she took a picture with her cellphone of a pair of well-soiled panties hidden behind a toilet in the girls’ locker room bathroom. Heather C., who is known to have a nasty and sometimes even cruel streak in her, then tweeted the picture to her friends with the suggestion that the panties belonged to her Gym Teacher Miss Musso. The implication, of course, was that Miss Musso had soiled the panties and then tried to hide them behind the toilet. Her motive apparently – As if Heather C. ever needed any motive to be nasty to people – Was that Miss Musso had refused to excuse her from Gym class to go to the girls’ room last week and that she had once written up the junior beauty for improperly squatting over the toilet to urinate.

Well, as one might expect, Heather C.’s friends – Most notably her closest friends Heather M. and Heather D. -- Went about re-tweeting the picture of the soiled panties (complete with the suggestion that it was Coach Musso who had soiled them) and the rumor soon took on a life of its own. Her and her fellow HEATHERS can be quite efficient in getting rumors going. Heather C. is currently in the process of serving a week of detention for starting that rumor and, as previously noted, has already handed in a 500 times writing assignment on the subject. Today, the very pretty but thoroughly self-absorbed junior is before the TVPC being asked to hand in a 1,000 word apology essay that she was assigned to write to Miss Musso as additional punishment. I am pleased to note that Heather C. is holding in her hand what appears to be that aforementioned essay.

“Is that your completed punishment?” I ask her. “Yes it is, sir,” she tells me. I then, of course, direct her to hand it to our TVPC clerk and she does as she’s told. But Heather C. unfortunately (for her!) can’t just let the moment pass. “I still think Miss Musso did it,” she says under her breath as she returns to the podium. Whether she intended for me to hear it, I can’t say for sure. But I most certainly did hear it, as did the other members of the TVPC.

Mrs. Adler – Among others – Is outraged. “Obviously, you’ve not learned your lesson,” she angrily tells the girl, “Obviously, you didn’t appreciate how easily you were let off last week considering all that you’d done.” “Perhaps some time on toilet suspension will provide the lesson you need,” she suggests. I don’t imagine many in the committee room would feel sorry for Heather C. on toilet suspension but that would still be a pretty extreme punishment for this. Still, she obviously has not yet learned her lesson and does need to be punished further. Accordingly, I then direct the TVPC clerk to draw up another Violation Report on Heather C. – The charge being once again, “Making Nasty, Toilet-Related Comments About A Teacher.” And it’s, of course, her second offense.

But before getting to that, I take a moment to note for the record – And especially for Heather C. – That it was a student visiting from another school, and not Miss Musso, who was responsible for the soiled panties in the girls’ room. “It was a girl from Westerburg HS who confessed to doing it,” I duly note, “She was visiting our school that day as part of some Student Council exchange program.” “Apparently, she had had an accident and cleaned herself up in that stall,” I further note, “And not knowing what else to do with her soiled panties, apparently panicked and just tried to stash them behind the toilet.” “But that’s not really important to this matter here and now,” I then add, “What’s important is that it clearly was NOT Coach Musso who did it.”

Heather C. is left with nothing to say. But I, in my capacity as Chairman of the TVPC, have plenty to say. I first admonish Heather C. for her little comment. “I think we’re all more than a little disappointed that your previous punishment wasn’t enough to teach you a lesson,” I tell her sternly, “So now, you’ll write another 500 times, another 1,000 word essay, and serve another week of detention.” Heather C. lets out an audible groan at hearing that. Surprisingly, though – Perhaps starting to learn her lesson already – she wisely holds her tongue.

As to her current essay – The one that she handed in today – Our TVPC clerk pronounces that it appears to be complete and in good order. Accordingly, it is accepted and Heather C. is duly dismissed – Perhaps to get started on her latest punishments.

So concludes this session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:11 PM.

**Arnold Ziffel** · December 14, 2021, 04:10 PM

Name: Heather C.

TVPC Punishment Essay

Offense: Spreading Toilet-Related Rumors

Offense Date: November 15, 2021

Length: 1,000 Words

Due Date: November 22, 2021

Dear Miss Musso;

I am very sorry for what I did. I am very sorry for taking a picture of those soiled panties and tweeting it around the school. But mostly I am sorry for implying that it was you who messed in those panties and then tried to hide them behind the toilet. It was very wrong of me to do that – And to start the rumor around school that you did it – When I had no evidence and no reason at all to believe it was you. It was very wrong of me to do that and I am very sorry for any shame and embarrassment that caused you.

I really didn’t mean anything by what I did but obviously I really should have known better. I really should I have realized that my tweeting the picture like that would start a rumor that would get spread all around just like it did. You should know, though, that I am being thoroughly punished for what I did. I had to write, “I will not spread nasty, toilet-related rumors about teachers or anyone else again” 500 times. I have to serve a week’s detention. And I have to write this apology to you of at least 1,000 words. The punishment writing assignment that I had to do took a really long time to finish and it gave me a writer’s cramp in my hand. 500 times is really a lot of times. That was really a hard punishment to do because it was so tedious and boring to just sit there and write the same sentence over and over again. It seemed like that punishment was never going to end. It seemed like I was never going to get to 500 times. And detention is really, really boring, too. We are allowed to do homework and stuff in detention, but after being in school all day, I really don’t like doing any homework or schoolwork right away. I like to relax after school but now I can’t do it because I have to stay for detention. And I have to stay for detention for a whole week. And I also have to write this 1,000 word apology essay to you. I guess I deserve that but I just want to say again that I am really sorry for what I did.

I also want to say that I never intended any harm by what I did. It was just a spur of the moment kind of thing and not something that I had planned or anything like that. I just went in there to pee after Gym class when I happened to see something behind the toilet. And then when I went to take a closer look, I saw that it was someone’s panties and that those panties had a big messy load in them. They were totally disgusting but it also made me wonder who would do such a thing as to have a messy accident like that and to then try to hide the mess behind the toilet.

As I wrote, I really didn’t mean any harm by taking a picture of the soiled underwear. I was just really surprised to see them behind the toilet. It was just a kind of spur of the moment thing that I took that picture. I mean, I just went into the stall to pee and I saw the underwear there. I just then went and got my cellphone and took that picture. I wanted to share that picture with my friends. I supposed I should have known that the picture was going to get re-tweeted all over school, but at the time I just wasn’t thinking of that. It was just a spur of the moment thing that I got my cellphone and snapped that picture.

I am very sorry for tweeting that picture but I’m even more sorry for writing that comment that made people think that those were your panties there behind the toilet. That wasn’t only stupid but that was really mean. Once again, I am really sorry for doing that. I really don’t know why I would have done that. I mean, I tweeted the picture because I wanted my friends to see the disgusting soiled underwear that someone had left there. But I really had no reason to write that comment that implied you did it. I have no excuse for what I did. Obviously, it was my own fault what happened as a result of that. And I am very sorry for all the shame and embarrassment that that caused you. I not only have no proof that it was you who did that mess but I never even had any evidence at all. And even if it was you who did the mess, I still had no business making a comment like that and tweeting that picture to my friends. And then they, of course, had no business tweeting it to other people. But that all started with me and I am fully responsibility for anything that happened after I tweeted the picture.

In the future, I will mind my own business in the girls’ room. When I go to the girls’ room in the future, I will simply take care of my own bodily functions and not concern myself with the bodily functions of others. If I find such things as soiled underwear in the girls’ room in the future, I will simply inform the restroom or another staff member and then go about my business. I will not take another picture in there with my cellphone and I especially will not spread rumors about others. I wish I could go back and undo what I did but obviously I can’t. I apologize for what I did, do my punishment, and promise that I will never do it again.

Once again, I am very sorry for what I did and for any shame and embarrassment that I may have caused you. I assure you that I have learned my lesson and will never do it again.

**spandexman** · December 15, 2021, 03:58 AM

Geing a fan of Grace I volunteer to clean the Spandex Queen's messy bottom. More people were watching her than the football game. Great report Arnold.
Happy holidays*****************

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