Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toilet behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rule against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place, you need to be 18 in order to enter high school, so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold ZIffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of Monday, February 14, 2022.

Before we can get to those toilet violations occurring today in school, the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) must first deal with some matters from Saturday – Specifically, two matters from Saturday Detention. Saturday Detention is not a TVPC punishment – assigning girls to it is entirely the purview of the School Principal for non-toilet-related offenses. But, being a school program, the toilet behavior of our female students during the detention is entirely within the purview of the TVPC. Today, the TVPC has two girls – Specifically, a pretty and prissy princess-type named Clare and a quirky, sometimes disheveled looking loner-type names Allison – charged with toilet violations during detention this past Saturday.

Mrs. Buchman, a pretty blonde-haired English Teacher, was in charge of the detention this past Saturday. She is here to press the charges against both girls. Both girls apparently had bowel movements while serving detention here at school on Saturday. Clare – Facing a charge of clogging the toilet with toilet paper – apparently did hers in the toilet, while Allison, on the other hand – Facing a charge of panty-soiling – apparently did hers in her panties. “Who wants to go first?” I ask them. Both girls then look at each other as if expecting the other to volunteer. Eventually, Clare speaks up and volunteers to go first.

“I guess just about nothing happens at this school without toilet violation charges against someone,” she says.

“You are charged with clogging the toilet, Clare,” I tell her and note for the record, “Specifically, you are charged with a ‘Category #3’ clog.” A “Category #3” clog, as faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, is a clog consisting only of toilet paper. That’s actually a bit more serious than clogging with a bowel movement only (Category #1) or clogging with a combination of bowel movement and toilet paper (Category #2). Apparently, what happened here is that Clare did an awful lot of wiping after having a soft bowel movement. According to Clare, she did a first flush – getting rid of the bowel movement itself and the first few wads of toilet paper – and then continued wiping herself. It was when she attempted her second flush – with a bowl full of toilet paper – that the toilet got clogged.

But while Clare does admit that she clogged the toilet (“I’m guilty of that, I guess,” she says), she doesn’t think it’s fair that she’d been charged, as she is, with a Category #3 violation. “That’s not fair,” she says, “Just because I had to wipe myself a lot, doesn’t mean that I should get punished more than usual.” The pretty and popular junior redhead points out that she has clogged toilets before (not this year but in prior years) and she was being careful to avoid that. “That’s why I flushed the toilet twice,” she says, “That’s why I didn’t try to flush all my toilet paper down at once.” “I knew it was kind of a messy one – I knew it was going to take a lot of wiping to get myself clean,” Clare explains, “That’s why I flushed after my first two wipes – that’s why I flushed my stuff and my first two wipes first.” The implication, of course, is that because she flushed her actual bowel movement first and only flushed toilet paper with her second flush, she actually made it a more serious violation. “That’s not fair,” she says, “If I hadn’t divided it into two flushes, it would have clogged with my stuff as well and that would have only been a Category #2 clogging instead of a Category #3.”

Personally, I find that an interesting argument. It perhaps would have been a less serious violation had she tried to flush it all at once thereby making the bowel movement itself part of the clog, but Mrs. Buchman seems to dismiss that out of hand. “With all the toilet paper you used, no one in their right mind would try to flush it all at once,” she tells Clare. “I mean, obviously there’s a limit to what even a power flush toilet can handle,” she lectures the girl, “I can’t even imagine how many times you have to flush the toilet at home to get all your toilet paper down.” “If you were to flush all that at once, you’d probably get charged with clogging the toilet intentionally,” Mrs. Buchman lecture Clare some more, “As I said, no one in their right mind would think a toilet could handle all of that all at once.” Clogging the toilet on purpose would, of course, be a more serious violation than merely accidentally clogging it as Clare did. “You’re lucky you didn’t also get charged with ‘Using Too Much Toilet Paper’,” the pretty English Teacher also tells her. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, “Using Too Much Toilet Paper” means that a girl used more toilet paper than was necessary to get the job done.

Clare, though, takes exception to that. “I’m sorry, but I like to keep my butt and my panties clean,” the pretty junior redhead snaps back, a tinge of sarcasm in her voice, “Maybe you don’t mind skidmarks in your underwear but I sure do mind them in mine.” I reach for my gavel – Intending to bang it and admonish Clare for making a comment like that – But Mrs. Buchman takes it in stride. “I can assure you that I have no issues with skidmarks in my panties,” she tells Clare, “Even though I apparently use considerably less toilet paper than you.” “I normally only have to use one flush when I go,” she adds, “And I still don’t clog the toilet.”

But Clare argues that this was a particularly messy bowel movement. “It was all soft and sticky and stuff,” the junior beauty claims, “I could feel that while it was coming out – I could feel it all sticking to my behind as it was coming out.” “Right from the first wipe, I could tell that it was going to take a lot of wiping,” she argues, “As I said, it was all soft and sticky and obviously, it had left a lot on my butt cheeks coming out.” “I was trying to do the right thing,” she argues further, “I flushed it after the first two wipes and before I went any further – I was trying NOT to clog the toilet.” “But obviously you did clog the toilet,” I tell her matter-of-factly, “You clogged it pretty bad and from what I understand you came pretty close to making it overflow.” “And you clogged it with only toilet paper,” I remind her, “And that, by rule, makes it a Category #3 clogging.” “Yes sir,” Clare then tells me dejectedly.

Questioning Mrs. Buchman further, I ask her if she wants to also charge Clare with “Using Too Much Toilet Paper.” Pausing for a moment – apparently to give it some thought – the pretty English Teacher then shakes her head “no.” “I suppose I really could, Mr. Chairman,” she tells me, although obviously intending the comment more for Clare than me, “I certainly think you could argue that her toilet paper usage was indeed more than was necessary.” “But I really like to give girls the benefit of the doubt in that area,” Mrs. Buchman continues, “I mean, who is to really say how much toilet paper a girl needs.” “I can’t really fault her for wanting to keep herself and her panties clean,” she adds, “I only wish Allison had that same concern for herself on Saturday.” With that, she turns and glares at Allison. Allison is, of course, facing the TVPC next for soiling her panties in detention on Saturday.

But first things first – specifically, Clare’s punishment for clogging the toilet. Fortunately for her, her previous offenses for clogging the toilet happened in prior school years and don’t count against her now. But she does have two violations for “Loitering in the Girls’ Room” and one for writing in red lipstick on a bathroom stall wall. That was a relatively harmless incident of writing hers and her boyfriend’s initials enclosed in a heart on the stall wall. Mrs. Buchman actually pleads for leniency for the girl. She argues that though Clare went a bit overboard in wiping herself, she did use two flushes rather than trying to flush it all down in one flush. She also says that she’s pleased that Clare actually did go in the toilet as opposed to Allison who went in her pants instead. Clare, of course, also advocates for leniency for herself. “I was just using the toilet, sir,” she tells me, “And I was just trying to wipe myself afterwards.”

Mrs. Buchman, though, also points out that Clare never said anything about clogging the toilet when she got back from her bathroom break. “I only found the clogged when I went to do my own bowel movement,” Mrs. Buchman says, “If I hadn’t had to do that myself and discovered the clogged toilet, Clare’s toilet could have been sitting there clogged until Monday.” The pretty and prissy junior beauty then apologizes for that. “I guess I should have told somebody,” she says, “But it wasn’t exactly something I wanted people to know about – I mean, it isn’t the most dignifying thing to clog a toilet, you know.” Considering all that, Clare is sentenced to 3 hours of detention and having to write, “I will not clog the toilet in school again” 300 times. I can tell by expression on her face that she’s doesn’t think her punishment is quite fair. But she does accept it without comment.

Moving on to the other case from detention this Saturday, Allison pleads “Guilty” to soiling her panties. “Gross!” Clare comments simply as she gives Allison a dirty look. I caution Clare about calling out like that and making unnecessary comments. As to Allison, the quite pretty but quirky loner pleads “Guilty” to the charge – her 2^nd panty-soiling of the school year – and simply explains “I had an accident.”

“Well, that’s what happens when you don’t go to the bathroom when you need to, Allison,” Mrs. Buchman tells her, shaking her head, “That’s what happens when you simply ignore the fact that you need to go use the toilet.” “Or did you just go in your panties on purpose?” Mrs. Buchman asks Allison pointedly. Allison assures the English Teacher that she did not. “It was an accident – I just went in my panties by accident,” the sophomore beauty says. Going in her pants on purpose – that is, pushing the bowel movement out into her panties intentionally or, at least not providing any resistance to it coming out in her panties – would be a more serious violation. Still, the pretty and articulate English Teacher questions how Allison could just let herself have an accident like that.

“I didn’t just let myself do it – Like I said it was an accident,” Allison claims, “I didn’t do it on purpose –I was trying to hold it in and I just had an accident.” “But you shouldn’t have been holding it in – I think that’s the point, Allison,” Mrs. Buchman tells the girl, “You should have just done it in the toilet like you were supposed to.” “I mean, it’s not like you didn’t get a bathroom break in detention, young lady,” she lectures Allison, “If you’d have just used the toilet like you were supposed to do, you wouldn’t have been holding it in and then obviously you wouldn’t have had an accident.” “You had more than ample opportunity to do your bowel movement in the toilet, young lady,” Mrs. Buchman lectures her further, “And I really don’t appreciate you just sitting there in the detention I’m supervising and doing it in your pants instead.” “I’m sitting there grading papers and supervising the detention,” the pretty blonde English Teacher adds, “And then suddenly there’s that unmistakable smell in the room.”

Clare apparently agrees about the smell – I see her vigorously nodding her head at the suggestion of that. “You were lucky – you weren’t sitting at the next table over from where she was sitting,” Clare tells Mrs. Buchman, although obviously intending the comment more for Allison to hear. Allison – apparently taking exception to the comment – glares at Clare. “What? – So you think it didn’t smell?” Clare then asks her rhetorically. “I can’t believe you just went in your pants like that,” she angrily tells Allison. “Do you have any idea how disgusting that it is?” “I mean, how old are you?” she asks the quirky sophomore beauty sarcastically, “I can’t believe a girl in high school would just mess in her panties like that.”

“Oh! – Like you’ve never done it?” she then snaps back at Clare. “I’ve never done it when there was a bathroom just across the hall,” Clare then quickly answers, “I’ve never done it without being sick or something or without the teacher preventing me from going when I needed to.” “I mean, we did get a bathroom break during the detention,” the pretty junior redhead rants on, “I can’t believe you just didn’t go then.” “I heard you peeing in the stall next to me,” she reminds Allison, “But then not 15 minutes after we get back from that, you’ve got a load in your panties.” “I still can’t believe you didn’t just do it in the girls’ room when you had the chance,” Clare tells her, incredulously, “I mean, I know the school bathroom aren’t the greatest, but still it’s way better than the alternative.”

But Allison mumbles back to the Clare that the girls’ rooms are “disgusting.” Clare finds that comment even more incredulous. “And you don’t think going in your pants is disgusting?” she asks Allison rhetorically, “You don’t think sitting there with a load in your panties is disgusting? Allison, in turn, just stands there looking quite embarrassed. “I mean, I can’t believe you’d say the bathroom is disgusting but then you go in your pants instead,” Clare continues, “I can’t imagine anything more disgusting than that.” “I mean, I know the girls’ rooms here aren’t the greatest when it comes to cleanliness,” the pretty redhead acknowledges, “But obviously it’s better than going in your pants.”

With that, I bang my gavel as the discussion is getting off track. Questioning Allison further, we find that it isn’t so much that the bathrooms themselves are “disgusting” but that it’s more a matter of privacy for her. Specifically, the quirky loner acknowledges that she simply doesn’t like doing that particular function with other girls in the bathroom. “I just like to be alone in there when I do that,” she says meekly, “I just like to have more privacy for that.”

Clare is incredulous once again – although this time a bit more sympathetically. “Why didn’t you say something?” she asks Allison, “Why didn’t you just tell me that?” “I could have just waited outside while you went,” Clare tells her, “If I knew you had to go that way, I could have given you your privacy.” Allison really has no answer to that. Shrugging her shoulders, she simply answers “I don’t know” as to why she didn’t tell her detention partner about her needing to be alone in the girls’ room. It leaves Clare just shaking her head in frustration once again. “I’d certainly rather give you your privacy in the bathroom than have to sit next to you in detention after you’ve messed your panties,” she tells Allison, “That was just disgusting!”

With Allison’s accident now at least explained, it’s time to move on to the girl’s punishment. But first I take a moment to caution to caution her. “You know, Allison, I suppose it’s nice if you can get total privacy in the girls’ room like you want,” I point out to her, “But obviously, you can’t always depend on that.” “I’m afraid that if you always insist on that much privacy for doing bowel movements in school, you’re going to have more accidents,” I caution the quirky sophomore beauty, “And more accidents, of course, is going to mean more punishments for you.” In the meantime – It being her 2^nd panty-soiling of the school year and her only other offense being “Late to Class for Bathroom Purposes” – she gets 2 hours of detention and having to write “I will not soil my panties in school again” 200 times.

It’s not lost on Clare that her punishment is worse than Allison’s. “I go in the toilet like I’m supposed to do and I get punished worse than a girl who goes in her panties?” she questions me. “You’re not supposed to clog the toilet,” I then remind Clare, “It’s all well and good that you went in the toilet like you’re supposed to, but you’re not supposed to put the toilet out of commission so other girls’ can’t use it.” “And then you didn’t even bother to tell anyone about it,” I further remind the junior beauty, “If Mrs. Buchman hadn’t had to use that bathroom herself, that toilet would have sat there clogged for the rest of the weekend.” Clare starts to argue some more but – perhaps gauging my tone – decides it’s best to just accept her punishment and keep her mouth shut.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Moving on to cases from today, the next matter before the TVPC – the next two matters actually – come from our new English and Journalism Teacher Mrs. Montgomery. She’s only in her 2^nd year here but she has been a great friend and enthusiastic supporter the TVPC. She’s also rapidly becoming one of our best teachers when it comes to catching girls with accidents or other toilet violations. Today, she has 2 accident cases for us – Piper, a pretty junior brunette and Kimberly, a pretty freshman with light brown hair – both having been caught with soiled panties in the girls’ room just before 6^th period this afternoon.

“Well done, Mrs. Montgomery,” I commend her, “I want to thank you for your diligent work on behalf of the TVPC.” “Your enthusiasm in catching girls who’ve committed toilet violations – especially girls with accidents – Is greatly appreciated,” I tell her. “Well, thank you, Mr. Chairman,” she tells me. “I’m happy to help the TVPC in the important work that it does,” she explains, “There really is no legitimate reason why girls this age should be having accidents in school or committing other toilet violations like they do.” “But I must say that I just got lucky with Kimberly and Piper today,” the pretty English Teacher tells us. “I was only in the girls’ room to use the toilet myself,” she explains, “I had a bit of an emergency myself and I didn’t have time to wait in line for the faculty bathroom in the Librarian’s Office.” “So I just went across the hall to the student girls’ room instead,” Mrs. Montgomery explains further. “Obviously, I didn’t want to mess in my panties myself,” she tells us, “And that’s when I just happened to catch Kimberly and Piper with accidents of their own.”

Taking the case of Kimberly first, the sweet and well-spoken freshman brunette pleads “Guilty” to the panty-soiling. It’s her second accident offense of the school year although it’s her first of the panty-soiling variety. It looks like she may have cleaned up some in the girls’ room because the accident isn’t really noticeable though Kimberly jeans. “I can’t believe I did this – It’s just so embarrassing,” the freshman beauty tells us, fighting back tears, “I can’t believe I went to the bathroom in my pants again.” “I’m so sorry, sir,” she says. “Obviously, there’s no excuse for this,” Kimberly acknowledges, “Obviously, there’s no excuse for doing this at my age.” “And it’s so disgusting, too,” she continues, as she does start to cry a bit, “I just can’t even describe how disgusting it feels to have poop in my pants.” “Unless you’ve done it yourself you can never know how disgusting it is to have it in your pants and all over yourself like this,” the pretty freshman explains, “You can’t even believe how horrible and disgusting this is unless you’ve ever done it yourself.” “I guess wetting my pants was just as embarrassing,” Kimberly adds, “But this is way, way more disgusting than that.” Offhand, to say the least, I think Kimberly is quite sorry for what she did.

Checking with Mrs. Montgomery, the pretty and enthusiastic English Teacher tells us that she was in a stall on the toilet herself when she first suspected that Kimberly had had an accident. “Well, as I said, I hadn’t really gone in there to catch girls with accidents,” Mrs. Montgomery says, “I went in there to have a bowel movement myself and I was doing just that.” “It was just by happenstance that I happened to take the stall right next to Kimberly’s,” she reports, “And when I was going about my own business, I happened to notice that the girl in the next stall was using an inordinate amount of toilet paper.” “I could hear her rolling off wad after wad of toilet paper,” Mrs. Montgomery explains, “She was using way more toilet paper than a girl could possibly need to wipe herself after simply having had a bowel movement in the toilet.” “Obviously, the girl in the next stall was using all that toilet paper for something else,” she continues, “And I strongly suspected that it was for cleaning herself up after having had an accident.” Mrs. Montgomery then explains that when she finished up her own business on the toilet she confronted Kimberly about hers. “Just as I had expected, Kimberly had indeed had had an accident,” the pretty and enthusiastic English Teacher reports, “She had had an accident and was in the stall trying to clean it up as best she could.” She adds that Kimberly was pleasant and cooperative and readily admitted to having had an accident when she was confronted about it. “I think she was more upset with herself than anything else,” Mrs. Montgomery adds. That much is readily apparent.

Checking back with Kimberly, she tells us that she simply waited too long to go to the girls’ room. “I just don’t know what happened, sir – I really don’t,” she says, shaking her head, “I guess I just didn’t realize how bad I had to go.” “It just came on all of a sudden,” Kimberly tells us, “It really didn’t feel like I had to go all that bad and then all of a sudden I had an accident.” She explains that she had been waiting to go until 6^th period when she had lunch. “I usually go during lunch period – Especially when it’s #2,” she explains, “I always make a pit stop in the 2^nd Floor Girls’ Room before I head down to lunch.” “I really didn’t think it was going to be a problem to wait,” she explains further, shaking her head. “But then suddenly I just had an accident,” she tells us, obviously quite embarrassed and disgusted with herself, “Suddenly, it was all in my pants.” “I can’t believe I just did that,” she reiterates, “I can’t believe I just did it in my pants.”

Moving on to Kimberly’s punishment, there’s obviously no reason to be severe with her. I think she’s already quite sorry for what she did. As noted, it’s her second accident offense of the school year, although it’s only her first soiling accident. She’s also got a violation for “Late To Class For Bathroom Purposes” and one for “Not Flushing The Toilet” (after urinating) on her record so far this year. For punishment, Kimberly will have to serve 2 hours of detention and write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 200 times. For Kimberly, though, I’m sure the shame and disgust she’s feeling at herself is worse than any punishment I could impose.

Mrs. Montgomery’s other case this afternoon – As noted, another panty-soiling case – is that of a popular and quite CHARMing junior named Piper. This would be her first panty-soiling of the school year – her first, in fact, since her freshman year. I’m quite surprised to see this as Piper doesn’t seem to have issues using the girls’ room here at school for either bodily function. In fact, her 3 previous toilet violations this year – Twice for clogging a toilet with a combination of a bowel movement and toilet paper and one for having a bowel movement in a toilet that was already clogged – are all, of course, related to actually doing bowel movements here at school.

Shrugging her shoulders, Mrs. Montgomery tells us that this is another case where she just happened to be in the right place at the right time. “I was just finishing up dealing with Kimberly,” the pretty and articulate English Teacher reports, “I was just handing Kimberly her Violation Report for her panty-soiling when I noticed Piper coming into the girls’ room.” “Sometimes you just know, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Montgomery tells me, “Sometimes you can just tell by the expression on a girl’s face that she’s had an accident.” “And I suppose it was the careful, uncomfortable way she was walking as well,” Mrs. Montgomery explains, “That and the distressed look on her face are the tell-tale signs that a girl is walking with a mess in her panties.” She tells us that she immediately confronted Piper about it and Piper immediately admitted what she’d done. “She was pleasant and cooperative about it, as well,” Mr. Chairman, “Mrs. Montgomery adds, “Obviously, she was also embarrassed but she knew better than to make it worse on herself by lying.” “You already knew that I had a mess in my panties, so what sense did it make to try to lie about it,” Piper tells her.

Piper, upon questioning from me, explains that the accident happened in Study Hall as she was waiting for the girls’ room pass. The policy, of course, is that only one girl is allowed to go at a time. “I guess I should have gone beforehand – I guess I shouldn’t have waited to get the girls’ room pass in Study Hall,” the pretty brunette tells us, “But I really don’t like doing that particular function between classes like that.” “It’s always so crowded in there during the passing time between classes,” Piper explains, “I’d always rather go during class or, better yet, Study Hall when it’s going to be for #2.” “It’s a lot quieter then and I can just take my time and do what I need to do,” she says. “In hindsight, I certainly wish I’d have gone then, though,” Piper adds, “It may not be ideal, but anything is better than this – anything is better than a mess in my panties.” “I just didn’t think it would be a problem waiting to go during Study Hall like I often do,” she says, “I just didn’t think I was actually risking an accident by waiting a little while longer.

But apparently things didn’t quite as planned for Piper today. “Suddenly today, though, there were a lot of people ahead of me for the girls’ room pass,” Piper continues, “And just about everyone must have had to go #2 as well because they were taking forever with the pass.” “By the time my turn came, it was too late,” Piper explains further, “By then my bowel movement was already in my panties.” She goes on to tell us that she didn’t even bother to go then as it was already too late and she wanted to wait until next period when she could have more time in the girls’ room to deal with the mess. “That’s when Mrs. Montgomery caught me,” Piper adds, “When I was going into the girls’ room afterwards to deal with the mess.”

It’s Piper’s first accident offense of the school year but with her 3 priors for minor violations, she’s not entitled to be let off with just a warning for this. Still, there’s no reason to be particularly severe with her, either. Like Kimberly before her (who incidentally, looks quite a bit like Piper and they both look a little like Mrs. Montgomery as well), Piper’s own sense of shame and self-recrimination over this is the worst part. She is sentenced to an hour of detention and having to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 100 times.

For the next matter before the TVPC, I welcome a pretty senior blonde named Ashley. I also welcome Miss Bliss, a pretty and well-liked Social Studies and Civics Teacher. Miss Bliss has charged Ashley with “Using A Cellphone In The Girls’ Room.” Under TVPC rules, girls are strictly prohibited from using a cellphone in any of our girls’ rooms. It’s generally not a serious offense unless the cellphone is used for a nefarious purpose, but nevertheless it is indeed a toilet violation. The incident apparently took place earlier this afternoon in the 2^nd Floor Girls’ Room just down the hall from here and just across from the school library. In Ashley’s case, Miss Bliss has indicated that she was simply talking to her boyfriend on the phone – obviously NOT a nefarious purpose.

“I guess I have to plead ‘Guilty’ – I can’t really deny that I did it,” Ashley tells us, “But it’s definitely not fair – this whole thing is definitely not fair.” Naturally, I ask her specifically what is unfair about it. “You either used your cellphone in the girls’ room or you didn’t,” I tell her, “Just because you got caught doing it, hardly makes this unfair.” But Ashley insists that’s not what she’s talking about. “Look, I know I did it! – I admit that I was using my cellphone in the girls’ room,” the senior beauty explains, “And I know I have to get punished for that.” “But what I’m saying is that it’s not fair how I got caught,” Ashley explains further, “It’s not fair for Miss Bliss to be hiding out in the girls’ room like that.” “It’s not fair that I’m just standing there talking to my boyfriend and thinking I’m alone in there,” she says, “And then, all of a sudden, Miss Bliss pops out of one of the stalls and catches me.” “That’s just not fair,” she adds.

Miss Bliss, though, reacts in surprise at Ashley’s characterization of the incident. “I can assure you that I wasn’t HIDING OUT in the girls’ room,” she tells the girl, “I can assure you that I wasn’t hiding out in the stall waiting to just pop-out and catch you.” The pretty, blonde-haired Miss Bliss laughs at the suggestion of that. “I was actually using the toilet in there,” the pretty Social Studies Teacher then tells the senior beauty, “I was actually going to the bathroom in there.” Ashley looks a bit surprised to hear that from Miss Bliss. “Of the two of us, I was the one in there who was actually using the toilet,” Miss Bliss tells Ashley, “I was the one who was actually doing legitimate business in the girls’ room.” “If you must know, I was actually going both ways in there, she tells the girl, “I wasn’t the one who was using my cellphone in there against the rules.”

Actually, Miss Bliss need not justify her actions. Even if she had been simply hiding out in the stall, as Ashley has suggested, intending to catch a toilet offender in the girls’ rom, she would have been perfectly justified in doing so. Obviously, it certainly would not have justified use of the cellphone in the girls’ room. But I guess it does perhaps drive home an even stronger point that it was Miss Bliss rather than Ashley who was using the girls’ room for legitimate purposes.

Still, Ashley doesn’t seem to get that. She’s critical of Miss Bliss for using a student girls’ room rather than one of the faculty facilities. “If I could use a faculty bathroom, I certainly wouldn’t be going in there,” the pretty blonde senior argues. “I mean, I guess the 2^nd Floor Girls’ Room isn’t all that bad,” she says, “But no way is it nicer than the faculty ones.” Her statement raises a few eyebrows in the committee – especially among the two newest members of the TVPC. The issue, of course, is how Ashley knows what any of the faculty restrooms are like. But I point out, though, that Ashley was once – way back in her freshman year – punished by the TVPC for using a faculty bathroom. “I went in the one in the Librarian’s Office in the school library,” Ashley reminds us. “That one is really, really nice,” she says, “But it just wasn’t worth having to do 500 lines or a week in detention or having to risk getting put on toilet suspension for using it.” She also points out that one time when she had bathroom cleaning detention – for messing on the toilet seat while squatting to use the toilet in the girls’ room – they made her clean some of the faculty ones. “Usually the faculty ones were way cleaner than the student ones,” the popular senior points out, “But not that day.” “In that one faculty restroom on the main floor, there was poop smeared all over the toilet seat,” she reminds us, “It looked like some teacher did a major dump in her panties and then sat on the toilet seat with that mess all over her butt. That vivid description causes a few “ewwws!” and some giggles in the committee room. “Mrs. Johns!” somebody mumbles – disguising it a cough. But unfortunately, I can’t tell where the “cough” came from. That most certainly would have warranted a punishment for calling out like that. “You’d think a teacher really would have known better than that,” Ashley adds.

[Arnold Ziffel]

But all that is neither here nor there. It really has no bearing on the case at all. And Miss Bliss can, of course, use whatever girls’ or women’s bathroom she chooses. “Where Miss Bliss chooses to go to the bathroom is none of your business, young lady,” Mrs. Adler, a member of the TVPC, pointedly tells Ashley. “Yes, Ma’am,” Ashley then contritely acknowledges, “I’m just saying that the faculty bathrooms are a lot nicer and I’d think she’d rather go in there if she could.” “Especially if it was going both ways,” the girl adds.

At this point, Miss Bliss chimes back in. “Well, most of the time I do use the faculty and staff facilities,” the pretty Social Studies Teacher acknowledges, “I typically do use the one in the librarian’s office – especially when I need to have a bowel movement.” “But this time there was actually a long line for that bathroom,” Miss Bliss explains. “I mean, as Ashley said, it’s a nice bathroom and it’s quite popular with the female faculty, so there’s quite often a line,” she explains further, “But today the line was longer than usual and unfortunately, I was in no position to wait at the time.” “Unfortunately, I had to go kind of bad and having to go both ways as I did, I didn’t think I could wait,” the popular, well-spoken teacher tells us, “So I went across the hall and used the girls’ room instead.” “I was just in there using the toilet like a student would,” she turns and tells Ashley with a gentle smile, “I guess I just got lucky in that you happened to be using your cellphone in there just as I was coming out of the stall.” Ashley just gives her a look in return – a kind of defeatist look with an acknowledging nod. “Apparently someone was in there taking a really long time in the faculty bathroom,” Miss Bliss adds, “I don’t know what that was about at all.”

Oddly, Miss Bliss’s comment garners a few giggles from the detention section of the committee room. “And whoever was in there all that time, used up all the toilet paper as well,” suddenly chimes in Mrs. Buchman, a pretty, blonde-haired English Teacher, “I got stuck on the toilet in there with no toilet paper.” “Luckily, I had some Kleenex in my purse to wipe with,” she adds, “And luckily, I only had to go #1 rather than have a bowel movement.” “Yeah – there was no toilet paper in there for a while today,” Miss Spellman, a pretty and popular Math Teacher then adds. “Luckily I noticed that before I sat down because I did need to do a bowel movement,” she tells us, “I ended up having to go across the hall and do it in the girls’ room, too.” “I mean, it’s not really a big deal – it’s not like I had an accident or anything like that,” the pretty, blonde Math Teacher says, “But it’s just kind of annoying not to be able to go in the faculty bathroom and have to use the student one instead.” Again, I hear some odd-sounding giggles in the committee room – apparently concerning that situation today in the faculty bathroom.

At this point, I’m forced to use my gavel to restore order in the committee room. I get the distinct feeling that there is something going on – some rumor or something – that no one is telling me. But that’s of no concern to the TVPC at this point. I need to focus the committee on the matter at hand – that being Ashley’s punishment for using her cellphone in the girls’ room. I bang my gavel and demand order once again. “There will be order in the committee room,” I demand, “Or we will soon be passing out plenty of notebook paper.” The implication, of course, is that there better be order in the committee room or we’ll soon be handing out writing punishments to the perpetrators.

Getting back to Ashley’s matter, I check once again to make sure she wasn’t using her cellphone for some nefarious purpose in the girls’ room. “You weren’t trying to take pictures of Miss Bliss on the toilet or anything like that, were you?” I ask. “No – not that,” Ashley assures me. “I was only talking to my boyfriend on the phone,” she explains again, “I was just trying to find out if he had gotten tickets for this concert that we both wanted to go to.” “I’m sorry I was using my cellphone in the girls’ room – I know it’s against the rules,” she adds, “But it really wasn’t for anything bad like you said.”
That established for the record – and the fact that it’s the girl’s first offense for this – there’s no reason to be particularly severe with her. Ashley’s only prior this year is for “Loitering In The Girls’ Room” – a very minor offense. Accordingly, she is being sentenced to 2 hours of detention and writing “I will not use my cellphone in the girls’ room again” 250 times.

For the next matter before the TVPC, I call a junior brunette named Josephine – or Joey, for short. But before I can even start the case, my attention is suddenly diverted to a bit of a commotion in the committee room. As I turn to address the commotion – specifically, an argument – I am most surprised to see that’s it’s an argument not among students but between two teachers. “You should be ashamed of yourself – that was disgusting!” I overhear Mrs. Defequer telling Mrs. Johns before I bang my gavel to restore order in the committee room.

“Ladies, please!” I admonish them, “How can we expect students to observe proper behavior if you staff members set such a poor example.” “Well, that’s exactly my point, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Defequer, our quite strict French Teacher, then tells me. “I’m sorry for interrupting TVPC business like this,” she says, “But it kind of makes it hard to enforce the TVPC rules on students when the same rules don’t apply to us.” With that she turns and glares at Mrs. Johns. Apparently this somehow involves our ace restroom monitor Mrs. Johns, but quite frankly I’m still completely puzzled as to what it’s about. Naturally, I ask Mrs. Defequer what is going on. But Mrs. Defequer herself seems reluctant to tell me. Instead, she just stands silently glaring at Mrs. Johns as if she expects Mrs. Johns to confess to something. But no confession seems forthcoming from our ace restroom monitor. I ask again – this time more forcefully – demanding to know what this is all about.

This time it’s Mrs. Montgomery who chimes in. “People are saying, Mr. Chairman, that it was Mrs. Johns who was in the staff lavatory for so long this morning,” Mrs. Montgomery tells me, “People are saying, sir, that Mrs. Johns was in there so long because she had an accident in her pants and was in there cleaning herself up.” “She was the one who apparently caused such a line for the staff bathroom this morning,” the pretty English and Journalism Teacher explains, “She was the one who caused everybody to have to go use a different bathroom as she was cleaning up her accident in the faculty one.” “It was no ACCIDENT,” Mrs. Defequer then angrily chimes back in. “She messed in her panties, that’s for sure, Mr. Chairman,” the strict French Teacher reports, “But I seriously doubt that it was only an accident.” With that, all eyes in the committee room turn toward Mrs. Johns. But at first, the ace restroom monitor just stands there like a deer caught in the headlights – not really sure what to say. “It was an ACCIDENT,” she eventually tells us, “I just had an accident.” “I certainly didn’t mess in my panties on purpose,” Mrs. Johns asserts in her defense, “I just had an accident.” Rambling a bit, the pretty restroom monitor admits that it was indeed her cleaning up the mess that had occupied the faculty/staff bathroom in the librarian’s office for so long this morning. “And can we also assume it was you who used up all the toilet paper in there, too?” Mrs. Buchman then asks her. “It was a messy load – it was kind of smeared all over my backside,” Mrs. Johns then admits. “And all I had was toilet paper to clean myself with,” she explains, “I had no washcloth or anything like that to wipe myself with.”

“Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have messed in your panties,” Mrs. Defequer admonishes her – again, in an angry tone, “I can’t believe you’d do such a thing right here in school.” “You know, it’s one thing when you do that kind of thing on your own time,” the French Teacher tells her, “But there’s simply no excuse for doing that here at school.” The implication again, being that she did it on purpose. But Mrs. Johns, once again, denies that – this time quite vehemently. “Look! – I had an accident!” she angrily tells the French Teacher, “I didn’t go in my panties on purpose.” Mrs. Defequer is left just shaking her head. “But either way, you did go in your panties, didn’t you?” she asks Mrs. Johns, “I mean, I still say that you did it on purpose, but you’re not going to deny that either way, you did indeed mess in your panties, correct?” Bowing her head in shame, Mrs. Johns reluctantly admits that she did – that is, she messed in her panties – albeit by ACCIDENT!

But that admission – while obviously embarrassing for Mrs. Johns – is of no consequence to the TVPC. Unless Mrs. Johns actually agrees to be punished by the TVPC, there’s absolutely nothing we can do about this. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, we only have the power to punish our female students. Teachers and other staff members, however, simply don’t fall under TVPC jurisdiction. And that’s a point obviously not lost on Mrs. Defequer, either. “That was disgusting! – That’s totally disgusting!” she admonishes Mrs. Johns, “Accident or not, either way, you really should be ashamed of yourself.” “At least Grace Musso accepts responsibility for her accidents,” Mrs. Defequer continues, “Her toilet habits may be even worse than yours, but at least she lets the TVPC punish her for hers.” As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, our Cheerleading Coach Miss Musso is one teacher who has agreed to be subject to TVPC rules and, of course, TVPC punishments. The implication, of course, is that she wants Mrs. Johns to step up and do the same thing – that is, to accept punishment for messing in her panties. But Mrs. Johns – at least so far – seems unwilling to do that.

“I don’t know how you can go around punishing students for their accidents when you won’t accept responsibility for yours,” Mrs. Defequer then points out to our ace restroom monitor, “Don’t you think it’s even more shameful when YOU do it than when they do it?” Actually, it’s the TVPC who does the actual punishing for the accidents, but the point is made. Mrs. Montgomery apparently feels the same way. “If I ever went in my pants, I’d WANT the TVPC to punish me for it,” the pretty English Teacher argues, “I’d want to show the girls that the rules apply to me as well as them.” Mrs. Johns, though, seems more than a little annoyed at all this. “But, of course, you would never actually have an accident yourself,” she sarcastically lashes out at Mrs. Montgomery, “I suppose you’re too perfect to ever actually have an accident.” “Well, I try not to have accidents,” Mrs. Montgomery argues back, “I try really hard to always make it to the toilet when I need to.” “And, if you must know, I’ve never had an accident since I’ve been a teacher,” she says, “I did have a few when I was in high school myself and one in college, but never as a teacher.” “But if I ever did have one as a teacher I would expect to be punished for it,” Mrs. Montgomery goes on, “How could I, in good conscious, write-up a girl for something that I wouldn’t get punished for myself.”

I must say that the pretty and well-spoken English and Journalism Teacher makes a good point. It’s a point not lost on Heather M., a pretty junior cheerleader who is currently in detention for sneaking into the nurse’s office bathroom to do a bowel movement there. “You mean for things like clogging the toilet!” she then calls out to Mrs. Montgomery. All eyes in the committee room then turn to her. “Excuse me?” Mrs. Montgomery then asks her. “Well, you said that you wouldn’t want to write-up a girl for something you wouldn’t get punished for yourself,” Heather M. then explains to Mrs. Montgomery, “I mean, maybe you’ve never messed in your panties as a teacher but what about clogging the toilet?” Mrs. Montgomery again looks at the girl puzzled. Heather M. then explains that it was about a month ago, while using the student girls’ room in the New Addition, that Mrs. Montgomery clogged the toilet. “I’m not saying it was a serious offense – I’m not saying you clogged it on purpose,” the junior beauty tells her, “But you did clog one of the toilets in there.” “It looked like you tried to flush an awful lot of toilet paper all at once,” the girl adds. Mrs. Montgomery then suddenly gets that look of recognition on her face. Not having had an accident, she apparently thought she was home free from any TVPC action, but apparently she had forgotten about other possible toilet violations like clogging the toilet.

That, of course, now places the ball solidly in Mrs. Montgomery’s court. With the cold eyes of everyone in the committee room now upon her, the pretty brunette no doubt realizes that her credibility is on the line. Thinking a minute, she then agrees to stand by what she had said previously. “O.K. – I’ll sign the waiver,” she then agrees, “I’ll sign the waiver allowing myself to be subject to TVPC rules.” “And to TVPC punishments as well?” I ask her. “Yes, Mr. Chairman,” she says, “It’s only right.” I then direct the TVPC clerk to draw up the agreement – specifically the agreement for Mrs. Montgomery to sign to allow herself to be subject to TVPC jurisdiction.

Mrs. Defequer then agrees to that as well as do Mrs. Buchman and Miss Calendar – a very pretty Computer Science Teacher – who is here on another matter. Accordingly, I then direct the TVPC clerk to draw up agreements for them as well.

In the meantime, that puts the onus back on Mrs. Johns. This time – with the pressure on her even greater than before – she agrees to be subject to TVPC jurisdiction as well. “Alright – I’ll do it,” she says, “I messed in my panties and I’ll take the consequences for it.” “It’s only my first offense anyway,” the pretty restroom monitor notes. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, a girl’s first accident of the school year – provided she’s got no prior toilet violations of any kind that year – is only a warning. “Not if you did it on purpose,” Mrs. Defequer then alleges. That much is also true. The warning for a first offense is only applicable if it’s genuinely an accident. Doing it on purpose is another thing entirely. But Mrs. Johns once again vehemently denies that she did it on purpose. “It was an accident,” she insists again, “I just had an accident, that’s all!” That assertion is met with considerable skepticism among the members of the TVPC. Cutting to the crux of the matter, though, Mrs. Defequer really has no evidence to substantiate that Mrs. Johns messed in her panties on purpose.

It’s then that Mrs. Montgomery raises the issue of all the toilet paper that Mrs. Johns used in cleaning herself up after the accident. As she correctly notes, committing another violation in conjunction with the accident – like “Using Too Much Toilet Paper” – is not only a toilet violation in and of itself, but it negates being let off with just a warning for the initial panty-soiling itself. But Mrs. Johns counters with the argument that all that toilet paper was necessary to clean herself. “As I said before, it was a messy load and all I had to wipe it with was toilet paper,” she says, “I’m sorry I used up all the toilet paper in there, but I really did need it to wipe myself clean.” “Well, you wouldn’t have needed all that had you just gone in the toilet like you were supposed to,” Mrs. Defequer then points out, a tinge of sarcasm in her voice. Such is true, obviously, but it doesn’t change the fact that she did use it to clean up after an accident and that obviously takes way more toilet paper than just wiping yourself even after the messiest bowel movement in the toilet. Hence, it’s not another toilet violation for Mrs. Johns nor does it negate her getting off with just a warning for the panty-soiling.

Mrs. Defequer is left just shaking her head as Mrs. Johns merely gets a warning for her panty-soiling. “Next time, it’ll be an actual punishment,” I warn the ace restroom monitor. “Disgusting! – And Shameful!” Mrs. Defequer reiterates, “There’s just no excuse for a staff member messing in her panties like that.

Getting back to Mrs. Montgomery – who has, of course, also agreed to be subject to TVPC jurisdiction – I direct the TVPC clerk to draw up a Violation Report on her for “Clogging The Toilet.” She tells us that that though it was the large quantity of toilet paper that she foolishly tried to flush all at once that did it, there was also her bowel movement in the bowl with it. That makes it a “Category #2” clogging rather than a “Category #3” type of clog. The “Category #2” clog – clogging with a combination of a bowel movement and toilet paper – is slightly less serious than a “Category #3” clog. “It was stupid of me, Mr. Chairman,” she tells me, as she pleads “Guilty” to the violation, “I never should have tried to flush all that toilet paper at once.”

Mrs. Montgomery explains that she used the toilet and then wiped herself in the usual manner. “But then just as I was about to pull up my pants and flush, it felt like I needed to go some more,” she explains, “So then I sat back down and went some more.” “It was stupid – I just wasn’t thinking,” Mrs. Montgomery reiterates. “I should have just flushed the toilet then before I went again,” she explains further, “But then I went again and had to wipe myself all over again.” “So it was kind of like a double whammy of toilet paper in the toilet,” the pretty brunette tells us, “And when I flushed it, it got clogged.” It is indeed surprising that a teacher like Mrs. Montgomery would be so careless in flushing all that toilet paper like that, but still it wasn’t intentional or anything serious like that. Accordingly – for the “Category #2” clog -- she’ll have to serve 2 hours of detention and write, “I will not clog the toilet in the girls’ room at school again” 200 times.

She nods her head in acknowledgement of her punishment. But she does find it ironic that she went in the toilet and got an actual punishment while Mrs. Johns messed in her panties and only got a warning. “Maybe I should have just gone in my panties instead,” she jokes, “Then I’d only be getting a warning, I guess.” “Well, not if you did it on purpose,” Mrs. Defequer then chimes in sarcastically.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Before moving on to the next matter on our agenda this afternoon, I note the sudden appearance in the committee room of Lauren, a pretty but quite shy freshman blonde. With her is her mom – a quite pretty brunette in her own right – but not exactly a shy and quiet sort like her daughter. I recognize both of them immediately – Lauren from several prior appearances before the TVPC this year and her mom not only for matters related to Lauren’s toilet violations but for some of her own back when she a student in high school. The girI’s mom was a bit of a wild child in high school, but all these years later, I’m happy to see that she’s STILL STANDING! I motion for both of them to come forward to the podium. As they do, neither one looks happy – Lauren particularly so.

“Greetings, Mrs. Miller,” I tell the pretty and sexy brunette, clad, as she typically is, in skin tight jeans, “What can we do for you today.” “Greetings, Mr. Chairman,” she tells me, “I’m afraid my daughter has done another one.” With that, she nudges an already teary-eyed Lauren forward. “What is wrong with you?” she angrily asks Lauren, “How can you just go to the bathroom in your pants like that at your age?” “Shame on you!” she angrily admonishes her daughter, “You’re in high school now and still you’re messing in your panties.” “That’s disgusting, Lauren – That’s just completely disgusting!” Mrs. Miller continues, “I still can’t believe you’d rather do it in your pants than just go do it in the girls’ room like you’re supposed to.” “It shouldn’t matter that you don’t like the school bathrooms,” she angrily admonishes Lauren further, “It’s still no excuse for going in your pants.” “I don’t need this, Lauren – I just don’t need this,” mom adds, “I’m tired of having to deal with your issues with using the bathroom in school.”

As Lauren just stands there crying, I try to direct Judy – that is, Mrs. Miller – to the specific circumstances of what happened with Lauren. “There’s plenty of time to yell at Lauren later,” I tell the sexy, outgoing brunette, “In the meantime, if we’re going to punish Lauren we need to know specifically what she did.” I note that we currently have no charges pending against Lauren for soiling her panties or for anything else. “Yes, sir, I’ll get to the point,” she acknowledges, nodding her head.

Mrs. Miller then explains that she got home from work early today and was surprised to find Lauren already there. “I heard water running in the bathroom, Mr. Chairman,” the pretty brunette tells me, “I was surprised because it was only 3:15 and didn’t expect anyone to be home.” “Of course, I immediately went to the bathroom to check it out,” she explains, “And I was quite surprised to find Lauren in there but not as surprised as she was to see me.” “Lauren was standing at the sink, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Miller explains further, “And she was washing out her underwear.” “I can’t actually say that I saw a mess in her underwear at this point, Mr. Chairman,” she continues, “But I can’t really think of any other reason why Lauren would be scrubbing out her panties in the bathroom sink.” With that last comment, she turns to glare at Lauren. This would, of course, be the perfect time for Lauren to give us another explanation as to why she was scrubbing her panties in the sink – that is, a reason other than the obvious one that she’d messed in those panties. But alas, no alternative explanation is forthcoming from the toilet-troubled freshman beauty. Lauren’s silence pretty much confirms that she was indeed cleaning out a mess in her panties.

Questioning Lauren further, I ask her specifically whether she soiled her panties in school today. At first, Lauren is hesitant to answer. This causes her mother to then chime in again. “Don’t lie, Lauren,” her mom angrily warns her, “It’s bad enough you mess in your panties, don’t make it even worse by lying about it.” Lauren then readily admits to having had another accident. “It happened in 7^th period,” she says. With that acknowledgement – specifically, her acknowledgement that it actually happened in school – I direct the TVPC clerk to draw up a Violation Report on Lauren for “Panty-Soiling.” She actually could have said it happened on the way home from school – a circumstance for which the TVPC would not have jurisdiction – but I suspect her mom is pretty good at sniffing out (so to speak) Lauren’s lies about her bathroom matters. It’s the pretty, blonde freshman’s third panty-soiling accident already this school year. And she’s also got a prior violation for sneaking home to use the bathroom during her lunch period, as well.

Pressing her for the details, Lauren reiterates that it happened in 7^th period English class. “I guess I was first feeling the need to go at lunch,” she tells us, “But it didn’t get really bad until English Class.” “I thought I could hold it in until I got home,” Lauren tells us dejectedly, “I was trying to hold it in until I got home but it just came out in my panties instead.” That explanation, such that it is, annoys her mom even more. Before I can even get in a word edgewise, Mrs. Miller angrily admonishes her daughter even further. “You need to STOP trying to hold it in until you get home!” she yells at Lauren, “When you try to hold it in until you get home is when you end up going in your pants instead.” “You need to go in the girls’ room instead of trying to hold it in,” mom continues, “You need to go do it in the toilet instead of doing it in your pants.”

But as Lauren stands there crying her eyes out from her mother’s harsh words, she tells us all that’s not so easy for her. “The school bathrooms are disgusting!” she says, in an exaggerated tone, “It’s bad enough when I have to pee in there but I just can’t stand the idea of having to go poop in there, too.” “I’d just rather hold it in until I get home,” she explains, “I just don’t know how some girls can go poop at school.” “The girls’ rooms are just so disgusting!” Lauren reiterates. But her mom is decidedly unsympathetic. “The GIRLS’ ROOMS are disgusting?” mom then asks Lauren in disbelief, “The GIRLS’ ROOMS are disgusting – Is THAT what you’re telling us?” “But messing in your panties isn’t disgusting?” she asks Lauren, “The girls’ rooms are disgusting but going in your panties is not?”

But Lauren argues that she didn’t actually say that. “I know that’s disgusting, too, mom,” Lauren tells her, “It’s just that I hate doing that at school – I just mean that I’d rather just hold it in and wait until I get home.” “It’s just that I’ve had a few accidents, mom,” she tells her mom, no doubt hoping for a little sympathy, “You told me yourself that you had accidents when you were in high school, too.” But Mrs. Miller categorically rejects that comparison. “It happened to me TWICE,” she angrily responds to her daughter, “I did it twice in four years of high school.” “You, on the other hand, have already done it three time and we’re only halfway through your freshman year,” Mrs. Miller points out. “And both of the times that I did it, it only happened because the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the girls’ room when I asked,” her mom continues, “They weren’t because I was just sitting there in class refusing to go to the girls’ room when I knew I obviously needed to.” “How could you do that? – How could you just go in your pants like that?” mom asks her, a tone of disbelief in her voice, “How can any girl your age simply refuse to go use the toilet when you need to?” “It would be one thing if you’d actually TRIED to go use the toilet and the teacher wouldn’t let you,” Mrs. Miller explains, “I really would have sympathy for you if you had an accident under those circumstances.” “But certainly not with you just sitting in class and refusing to go use the toilet when you need to,” she lectures Lauren, “There’s just no excuse for that – That’s just a disgrace for a girl your age.”

“And how did you get home so early anyway?” mom – changing gears a bit – suddenly asks the teary-eyed Lauren, “It was only like 3:15 when I got home and you were not only already home in the bathroom but you seemed to have everything pretty much already cleaned up.” As our school day ends at exactly 3:00 PM that does indeed seem a bit strange. “You had already cleaned yourself from the mess,” Mrs. Miller points out to Lauren, “And you were about done scrubbing out your soiled panties in the sink.” “If I hadn’t gotten home when I did, you might have actually gotten away with this one,” Mrs. Miller adds. Lauren quickly tries to change the subject but I’m not about to let her get away with that. “It’s a valid question, Lauren,” I tell her, “There’s no way you could leave school at 3:00 PM, walk home, and still have enough to time to clean up an accident by 3:15.” “Even if you got a ride from someone, that’s still not enough time,” I point out, “There’s just no way you’d have time to even clean yourself from an accident, much less clean out your panties, as well.” Lauren once again tries to evade the issue, but I still press her for an answer – this time in a more insistent tone. “Answer my question, young lady!” I order her, a tinge of anger in my voice.

Lauren then reluctantly admits that she cut her last period class. “I did the mess in 7^th period and I didn’t get caught,” she says, “But I thought for sure that Miss Spellman would catch me in Algebra next period.” “So I cut Algebra 8^th period,” Lauren acknowledges, “I cut because I wanted to get home and get the accident cleaned up before I got caught.” Upon further questioning from me, the toilet-troubled freshman admits that she thought the punishment for cutting would be less than the punishment she’d get if she got caught with another accident. She says that’s especially true when you consider the punishment she’d get at home from her mom for soiling her panties again. With that I direct the TVPC clerk to draw up another Violation Report on Lauren – the charge, of course, being “Cutting Class For Bathroom-Related Purposes.” Normally, a matter such as cutting class would be dealt with by the school principal. But since the class cutting was clearly done for a toilet-related reason, it falls under TVPC jurisdiction instead. “Well, now you get punished for both, Lauren,” I tell her, “You not only get punished for the panty-soiling, but you get punished for cutting class as well.” “And, of course, you’ll be punished for both at home as well,” her mom then angrily chimes in. Lauren, in turn, is left just crying forcefully into her hands.”

Taking Lauren’s toilet violations in the order that they occurred, we first punish her for soiling her panties. As noted, it’s her 3^rd one this school year. For that, she gets 3 hours in detention and has to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 300 times. Moving on to the girl’s 2^nd toilet violation today – that of “Cutting Class For Bathroom-Related Purposes” – that’ll cost her a full week of detention and having to write “I will not cut class to avoid being punished for soiling my panties again” 500 times. Lauren looks quite surprised at the severity of that punishment. Her panty-soiling punishment was pretty much what she expected but not so much her punishment for cutting class. Even her mom is a bit surprised about that one. To her, Lauren’s soiling her panties would seem the more serious violation and she tells me so. Mrs. Miller herself obviously cut way more classes in high school than times she soiled her panties. But I explain to her that the panty-soiling – while certainly irresponsible on Lauren’s part – was entirely accidental. “Her cutting class, on the other hand,” I explain, “Was entirely an intentional act.

“Either way, Lauren, you do get punished for both,” I then turn and tell the shy, toilet-troubled freshman, “Obviously, you made it quite a bit worse on yourself by cutting class to avoid getting caught with the panty-soiling.” “Next time,” I then suggest, “You’d be well advised to simply use the toilet when you need to.” Lauren, through her tears, then nods her head – apparently indicating that she understands. But whether that translates into her actually going “poop” at school when she needs to, remains to be seen. With that, I leave Lauren to her mother and whatever punishments await the poor girl at home.

[Arnold Ziffel]

For the next matter before the TVPC, we have yet another panty-soiling case. In this case, Josephine, (better known as Joey), a tomboyish junior brunette, has been charged by Miss Calendar with soiling her panties in Study Hall earlier this afternoon. But Joey has additionally charged by Miss Calendar with “Use Of Profanity To Refer To Bodily Functions” – specifically that the usually easy-going junior used the word “shit” to refer to herself needing a bowel movement. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, girls are not permitted to use profanity to refer to either of their bodily functions.

“I supervise the 5^th period study hall in the auditorium,” Miss Calendar, a Computer Science Teacher, tells us, “It’s a busy study hall with lots of students.” “Of course, I let them go to the girls’ room if they need to,” the quite pretty Miss Calendar says, “I know that it’s TVPC policy that girls are expected to take care of such needs during lunch and study hall rather than on class time.” She then explains how she uses a sign-up sheet for both passes whereby one boy and one girl may go at a time. “Apparently, Joey had trouble waiting her turn,” Miss Calendar continues, “And apparently she didn’t like how long the girls ahead of her on the girls’ room pass list were taking.” She explains that at one point, Joey simply yelled to the girl ahead of her on that list “Hurry up – I really gotta take a shit.” “And … well, … apparently she really did need to go, Mr. Chairman,” the pretty, well-built Computer Teacher tells me, “Because before that girl even got back from the girls’ room, Joey had done it in her pants.” “That was really disgusting, young lady,” she tells the girl, “I can’t believe you would do such a thing.”

“Well, I was trying to go to the girls’ room,” the pretty brunette then responds, a tone of frustration in her voice, “It wasn’t like I was just sitting there ignoring what I needed to do.” “I was trying to get the girls’ room pass,” she tells us, “I was desperately trying to hang on until it was my turn to use the pass.” “How would you feel if you were desperate to go and everyone was taking forever with the girls’ room pass?” she asks Miss Calendar. “Well, I definitely would not have used language like that, that’s for sure,” Miss Calendar then answers her, “I definitely would not have used that ‘s-word’ in reference to it.” “Or maybe I would have gotten my name on the pass list sooner,” she suggests to the Joey, “Maybe I wouldn’t have waited until I was desperate to go before putting my name on the pass list to go.” But that comment frustrates the junior beauty even more. “I put my name on the list as soon as I could – I put my name on the list as soon as I got there,” she says, “But even so, there were already a bunch of girls ahead of me.” “And even so, I probably would have made it if everyone wasn’t taking so long,” she argues. “I mean, it seems like everyone must have been taking a sh……. ,” she starts to say before she catches herself. “I mean, it seemed like everyone must have been taking a bowel movement,” she corrects herself, “I just couldn’t believe how long everybody was taking with the girls’ rom pass.”

“Well, I guess sometimes it feels like that when you really have to go,” I then suggest, “When you have to go that bad, it sometimes feels like people are taking longer than they really are.” But Joey just shakes her head at the notion of that. “I don’t think so, sir,” she tells me, “Maybe it did seem longer because I had to go so bad, but girls really were taking longer than usual.” “I mean, I use a girls’ room pass probably every day in Study Hall,” Joey explains, “And it never takes that long before my name comes up to use the pass.” “I mean, obviously every day SOME girls are going to be using the girls’ room to do more than just pee,” she acknowledges, “But today, it just seemed like everyone was doing that.”

Questioning her further, the likeable and articulate brunette reiterates that she was trying desperately to hold it in while waiting her turn for the girls’ room. “As I said, sir, I was trying desperately to hold it in and wait but unfortunately I just couldn’t make it.” “You know, Miss Calendar makes it sound like I wasn’t trying to hold it – she makes it sound like I wasn’t even trying to make it to the girls’ room,” Joey argues, “She makes it sound like I just decided to go in my pants and wasn’t even trying to make it to the toilet.” “Of course I know how disgusting it is,” she says, frustration again evident in her tone, “I’m the one who has the mess in her panties – I’m the one who now has the mess smeared all over her backside.”

At this point I pick up and use my gavel. Joey is frustrated and is rambling but I think she made her point. “I think it’s pretty clear that you really were trying to get to the girls’ room in time,” I tell her sympathetically, “I think it’s pretty clear that your intention was to do it in the toilet and not in your panties.” “But good intentions aside, you obviously did, in fact, end up messing in your panties,” I then tell her, “And it’s pretty clear that you used profane language in reference to it as well.” Joey nods her head seeming to indicate that she understands. I think she just wanted it to be understood that she’s not one of those girls who simply try to hold it in all day at school rather than use the girls’ room like they should. For use of the profanity, she’ll have to write the more appropriate terminology – that being “Bowel Movement” – 500 times. And for the panty-soiling – her first of the school year – she’ll have to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 100 times as well as serve an hour of detention. “Yes, sir,” she tells me contritely as I note her punishment for the record.

For our final matter, we have Trish, a friendly and outgoing full-figured junior. She is being called before the TVPC this afternoon for a bit of committee business. It was a week ago that Trish soiled her panties while eating lunch in the school cafeteria. Apparently, it was not so much a refusal to do her bowel movements here at school – Trish is certainly not a shy girl – but that she was preoccupied with having fun with her friends AUSTIN AND ALLY and was simply ignoring her need to go to the girls’ room. It being her second panty-soiling of the school year, Trish promptly served 2 days detention and just yesterday handing in 200 times of “I will not soil my panties in school again.”

But, as faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, having a panty-soiling accident in the school cafeteria at lunchtime warrants additional punishment. It requires that the girl also complete a 500-word letter of apology – apologizing for having an accident in the cafeteria and subjecting everyone to that smell while they are eating lunch. That apology then gets posted on the cafeteria wall for one week. A second such offense in the cafeteria at lunchtime requires a 1,000 word apology letter that remains on the wall for a month while any subsequent offenses after that require a 2,500 word apology and that remains on the cafeteria wall for the rest of the school year. The extra punishment for soiling in the cafeteria at lunchtime also includes time – that is, the girl’s lunch period for a while – having to sit at a designated table in the cafeteria with others who have soiled their panties at lunch.

Today, though, Trish’s purpose before the TVPC is to hand in her 500 word apology letter. “Is that that your apology letter, young lady?” I ask her, referring to the paper she’s holding in her hand. “Yes, sir,” she tells me. I then direct her to hand it to our TVPC clerk and she does as directed. “What happens now,” Trish then asks me. “Well, the apology letter will be checked by our TVPC clerk,” I then explain, “And if it’s acceptable, it will then go up on the cafeteria wall for one week.” The junior beauty lets out an audible groan at hearing that. “Well, that is the procedure, young lady,” I remind her, “The apology letter goes up on the wall so those at lunch with you that day can read it.” “Yes, sir, but …. but …. but it’s just that it’s kind of embarrassing,” she says, “It’s kind of embarrassing to have to see that up on the wall and have others read it.”

“Yes, I imagine it would be,” I tell her, “Perhaps that’s why most girls go in the toilet instead of their pants.” Trish reluctantly nods her head at that. “Yes, sir,” she tells me. But at the same time, she pleads with me not to put her apology up on the wall. “Please sir, can’t you just cut me a break this one time,” she pleads, “I promise I won’t go in my panties again.” “Well, why did you do it this time?” Mrs. Adler aks her. “I mean, not doing it AGAIN is all well and good,” the committeewoman tells her, “But that still doesn’t excuse you even doing it a first time.” Trish has no answer to that. “I don’t know, ma’am,” she tells Mrs. Adler, “I guess I just waited too long to go to the girls’ room.” “Well, hopefully you won’t wait too long next time,” Mrs. Crabtree, another committeewoman, chimes in, “Hopefully next time you’ll do it in the toilet and you won’t have to get an apology posted up on the cafeteria wall.” “Yes, ma’am,” Trish dejectedly acknowledges her. “And next time, it’s a 1,000 word apology,” I remind her, “And that one stays up on the cafeteria wall for an entire month.” “Yes, sir,” Trish then tells me, certainly not happy.

The TVPC clerk, having had the opportunity to check Trish’s letter of apology, pronounces that it appears complete and in good order. Accordingly, it is accepted and obviously it will be posted on the cafeteria wall as per TVPC regulations. I note that for that record. Trish again lets out an audible groan but I think she understands that she has no one to blame but herself for this.

So concludes this session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:37 PM.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Name: Trish

TVPC Punishment Essay

Offense: Panty-Soiling In The Cafeteria At Lunch

Offense Date: February 7, 2022

Length: 500 Words

Due Date: February 14, 2022

I am very sorry for pooping my panties in the school cafeteria last Monday. It happened during my lunch when I didn’t go to the girls’ room when I should have. I am very ashamed of myself for pooping my panties because it is a very disgusting and shameful thing for me to do. I’m in high school now and I must learn that there is no excuse for pooping in my pants at my age. There is no excuse for someone my age not to poop in the toilet in the girls’ room when they need to go at school. I am writing this because I need to apologize for what I did as I am very sorry for pooping in my panties in the school cafeteria on February 7^th.

I am writing this apology because not only is it disgusting and shameful to be pooping in my panties at all but it’s particularly disgusting to be pooping in my panties in the cafeteria at lunchtime. I am writing this apology because people should be able to eat their lunch in the school cafeteria without having to smell the disgusting poop in my panties. As I said, it’s bad enough when I poop in my panties at all but it’s even worse when I do it in the school cafeteria at lunchtime. It’s bad enough when other students have to sit next to me in class and smell the disgusting mess but it’s even worse in the cafeteria where they have to smell it while eating their lunch. There is no excuse for what I did and I’m very, very sorry for doing it. And I am very ashamed of myself for doing it as well.

In writing this apology, I am not only saying that I am sorry for what I did. I am also saying that I will never poop in my panties again and especially not in the school cafeteria. As I said, there is no excuse for doing what I did. In the future, I must learn to do all my poop in the girls’ room in the toilet. And this is especially true at lunchtime when I and everyone else is in the cafeteria eating lunch. Obviously, the toilet rather than my panties is the appropriate place for that. Obviously, others have the right to be eating their lunch without having to smell the poop in my panties. I am very sorry for pooping my panties in the cafeteria and subjecting everyone else to that smell.

Further, I have no one else to blame for pooping in my panties like I did. I didn’t do it on purpose but obviously it was my own fault. I just didn’t go to the girls’ room when I needed to and then the accident happened. It was my own fault for not going to the girls’ room when I needed to. It was my own fault for being too lazy to go to the girls’ room and do it in the toilet when I should have.

Like I said, I promise to never poop in my panties again and especially not in the school cafeteria at lunchtime. In the future, I promise to always go to the girls’ room when I need to and do my poops in the toilets there.

[spandexman]

I am surprised that so many teachers have BMs during school hours. I have always suspected Mrs. Johns is into panty and pantyhose pooping. Why else would she want to be the TVPC toilet monitor? She certainly gets off on looking for your girls with huge poop loads in their pants or under their skirts and dresses.
The next time Mrs. Johns get caught it would be a good idea to examine and weigh her poop load, since it mostly will be bigger than average will prove she intentionally holds in her bowels for bigger and smellier fecal deposits. Bet her movements are the biggest in the high school, followed closely by Grace, the Queen of spandex.
A well written report. Thanks.

[worldofbaom]

Now we are wondering if Mrs. Johns really had an accident or did she do it on purpose to fulfil her sexual fetishes. This isn't the first time she was caught with a mess down under. Someone should also check on Grace to make sure she not hiding her accident from her students.