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Alien Misunderstanding
by Write and Left
My name is Corinna Kishek. I am one of the star pilots on board the starship Indefatigable. It was a colony ship and a warship and I was in command this year.
I was in command because the passengers and the rest of the crew were in hibernation for the duration of the trip to Melcom VII. At the end of the year, I would wake one of the other crew members and he would relieve me, so I could go into hibernation. I sat alone in the bridge of the Indefatigable.
My job was simply to monitor the hibernation capsules of the crew and make sure they were in working order, make sure the ship didn’t run into anything, and fix things that broke. That was easy enough, I had thought. But it wasn’t to be that easy.
“Hull breach on deck nine,” said the computer and started to run the siren.
“Damn it,” I said. “Computer, cut out that noise.” I got up from the pilot’s chair and ran to deck nine.
On deck nine, I went to the room with the hull breach. Thankfully the room was sealed so only that compartment had lost its air. The light above the door was flashing bright red. From the window in the door, I couldn’t see the hole.
“Computer, what is the status of the breach?”
“Compartment 926 is in vacuum. Breach in compartment is inaccessible from the inside. Situation requires EVA for repair.”
Darn, I thought, I am going to have to go outside to fix this hole. “I never want to hear about another maintenance problem,” I said to myself. I thought about, just ignoring the holed compartment and relaxing, but instead, I headed toward the lockers where we kept the spacesuits. We had space suits of all types, from battle armor used by Marines, to thin pressure suits used in leaky compartments. I chose the type used for repairing holes in spaceships.
The suit was hard. It contained oxygen that would last a week; food and water that I needed to drink from a straw; and tools: patches, rivet guns, and vacuum safe glue. Still, the suit lacked anything resembling comfort. If I had to go to the bathroom, I was out of luck. I couldn’t come inside. By the time I would get out of the suit, I would have gone in the suit. Knowing this, I grabbed a think disposable diaper from the shelf and then stripped out of my jumpsuit and panties.
I lay down on the deck and pulled the diaper around my hips. I pulled it snug and firmly taped it in place. Once diapered, I stepped into the spacesuit and sealed it shut. It wouldn’t do for me to lose all my air when I went outside, so I made sure to double-check the seals.
#
The breach was worse than I thought. It took me an hour of walking on the outside of the spaceship to find the hole. Worse still, I would have to dig out chucks of meteor out of the hole, so I could patch it.
I took out my drill and started it up. It made a silent vibrating motion as I directed it to start drilling out the meteor. As soon as I placed it against the rock, the vibration thrummed across the skin of the spaceship up the legs of my spacesuit and shook my body like a bobble head. This was going to be a long job.
Three hours later, and six drill bits later, I had to pee. I just let it out into my diaper. There was no use trying to hold it. I still was only halfway done drilling. I drank more water; I was sweating in the spacesuit, and then I drank some of the food. I hated spacesuit food. It tasted like someone put fruit and vegetables together in a blender so it could be drunk. Actually, it was made that way. Still, I ate (or drank) because I needed my strength to finish the job.
I got out my drill and resumed my work. I was getting the meteor drilled out and I was finally to the point were I could pick up pieces of the rock and dig them out of the hole. It was a nine drill-bit job, but the rock was gone, but the hole was jagged.
A jagged hole would not do. Now I had to get out my grinder. “Will this job never end?” I asked myself. I stomach growled and cramped. I knew the space food I had a few hours ago, wanted out. But I did not want to mess my diaper. The inside of the spacesuit already smelled faintly of pee. I knew from experience that pooping a diaper in a spacesuit would smell a lot worse. I would hurry and get back to work.
I got out my grinder and turned it on. Sparks flew as I began to ground out the jagged edges of the hole. Another hour and a half. The spaceship’s metal was hard and I was cursing the time it took. The vibrating grinding of the ships hull, did nothing to ease the cramps in my lower abdomen. I wanted to hold my stomach, but I couldn’t reach into the spacesuit to rub it. Besides rubbing my stomach would make me lose my lunch in my diaper.
I had at least two hours of work to do. I would never make it. I took out my grinder and did the last bit of detail work. The vacuum safe glue, would only work on smooth surfaces and I didn’t want to come out here again.
Finally I finished grinding. I put the grinder away and pulled out a patch. It was steel plate about 12 inches in diameter. It was big enough! I put it on the deck and stood on it so it wouldn’t float away. My magnetic boot soles held me to the ship like a magnet on the fridge. I wanted to work on this quickly, but not rush. But the cramps hurt too much to work. I really had to poop. “I am so foolish,” I said to myself. “I should have gone before I came out here.”
I grimaced and stared blankly off into space as hot, muddy poop slid into my diaper. Since my suit was snug, the mess was squeezed all over the back of my diaper. I hope those tapes held.
I bent down and resumed my work. I squeezed a tube of vacuum safe glue part A into the hole. Then I got a tube of part B and squeezed it in the hole. Then I stirred it with a rod so both substances were well mixed. They would harden soon since I mixed together both parts. I placed the patch over the hole and smiled with satisfaction as some glue squeezed out from under the patch.
“That should hold,” I said and then smiled at my work.
I saw a flash of light from the other side of the ship, but I thought nothing of it. I hadn’t seen anything. I headed back to the airlock.
#
The space suit stunk. My butt stung from spending two hours in a messy diaper. I pulled off the helmet and placed it in the cleaner box. I heard another noise, but I must have imagined it. I was alone. No one was around. The passengers and the rest of the crew were asleep and I was the only one who could control the hibernation pods unless the ship’s computers sensed I had been dead or missing for 24 hours.
I pulled off the rest of the spacesuit and put it in the cleaning box. My jump suit and panties were gone. The cleaner bot must have already put them away in my room. I turned and headed to the shower in just my wet and messy diaper.
Out in the hall, I heard the noises again. “Computer, have you awakened a crewman?” I asked.
“Negative.”
“Is someone on board.”
“Affirmative.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. Someone here? But how?
“Corinna Kishek is on board, commanding,” said the computer.
“I know. That’s me. Who’s making the sounds?”
“Information unavailable. Internal sensors are down on decks one through eight. On decks nine through twelve internal sensors are 25% working.”
“Why didn’t you tell me the sensors were down when I came back on board?” I asked frustrated.
“You said, ‘I never want to hear about another maintenance problem.’”
“Belay that order, then,” I said. “I will take a shower and deal with the sensors and investigate the noise.”
I continued my journey to the showers, but when I turned the corner I saw the aliens. They were blue and humanoid, but they had strange translucent skin--no, not skin--scales. They had clear scales over blue skin. They had a black mane on their head and neck and they had glowing green eyes.
One came toward me and I turned to run. I only tripped and he caught me and pulled me toward the others. They conversed in an alien tongue as the pointed and gestured toward me.
One pointed at my dirty diaper and touched his nose and the other left and walked down the corridor.
He gestured to me and pointed the opposite direction and pushed me. I walked in front of him trembling. When I tried to run, he caught up with me and pulled me back. When I tried to rebel, he pushed me along until I moved cooperatively. Finally we arrived at the airlock where his ship was docked. That was the light I saw on the other side of the ship!
He pulled me inside and made me sit on the floor beside the airlock door of his ship.
“But I can’t sit down,” I started to protest. I didn’t relish the thought of sitting in a poopy diaper.
He pushed me down and I had no choice. The mess in my diaper spread toward the front and the back.
More speech was said in the alien tongue. This time it was not directed at me, but at his companion who had returned. He was carrying a bag of EVA diapers.
He stood me up and pulled me along the weaving, curving hallways of his ship. The other alien followed behind carrying the diapers. Other aliens made comments at me and pointed. Others touched their noses. My captors said some words to them and they desisted.
I was taken into a chamber in the ship with a waterfall. I wondered at the engineering required to keep a waterfall working in a spaceship, but then saw other aliens swimming in the pool below it and rubbing sand on their scales. There were several other pools too. It must be their shower room, but it was so fancy. My captor pulled off my diaper and pushed me into the pool. He threw the diaper into a hole in the wall and then pulled off his green tunic and threw it in another hole. He then followed me into the water.
He gestured to me and took a handful of sand from the bottom of the pool and rubbed it on his scales. He then rolled around in the water and stood up.
What was he doing? He pointed at me again.
“I don’t understand,” I said. He wanted me to do something. Instead I looked longingly at the waterfall.
The alien grabbed me and dunked me in the pool. He then took sand and scrubbed me with it. Since I didn’t have scales, it really hurt.
I screamed.
The alien dunked me in the pool again and pulled me out. He then pulled me toward the waterfall pool. Aliens stared at my naked body and chattered in an alien language until my captor said something to them.
I was dunked under the waterfall and scraped with sand repeatedly. Then I was pulled out onto the floor and led over to my alien captor’s companion.
My captor’s companion handed me a diaper and pointed at me. I saw my captor, pulling on a black garment and pointing at himself. He pointed to the garment and then pointed at himself. Then, he pointed at the diaper and then at me. I understood he intended me to wear diapers.
I reluctantly lay down on the floor and put the diaper on.
I was pulled into another room and forced to sit in a chair. A collar was put around my neck and the aliens push a button on it.
The alien said a few things to me. Then he pointed at my mouth.
“I can’t understand you,” I said.
He nodded rapidly and continued to talk in his alien language.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked. “I don’t speak your language.”
“<gibberish> talking.” Said the alien.
“Talking?” I asked. “I understood talking.”
“Keep talking. The <gibberish> needs to hear you talk to learn <gibberish>,” said the alien.
“So why an I here? Why did you capture me? And why did you bring diapers off my ship for me to wear?” I asked.
A bell on my collar rang and the alien pushed the button on it again.
“Can you understand me?” asked the alien.
“Yes, that’s amazing how that device works,” I said.
“The universal translator helps us with new aliens we meet,” he said.
“Can I go back to my ship? I am needed there.”
“No, we left the vicinity of your ship. You will be returned to your ship in one year’s time.”
“But I need clothes. You have me wearing diapers and I am bare breasted.” I covered my breasts with my hands.
“You were wearing the same thing when we encountered you. Aren’t these diapers you wear your clothes?”
“No, I wear them in a spacesuit to go outside the ship for long periods of time. I was on my way to shower and then get dressed.”
“We regret that diapers are all we brought from your ship for you to wear. You will have to make do.”
“Just great,” I said. “What else can go wrong today?”
by Write and Left
My name is Corinna Kishek. I am one of the star pilots on board the starship Indefatigable. It was a colony ship and a warship and I was in command this year.
I was in command because the passengers and the rest of the crew were in hibernation for the duration of the trip to Melcom VII. At the end of the year, I would wake one of the other crew members and he would relieve me, so I could go into hibernation. I sat alone in the bridge of the Indefatigable.
My job was simply to monitor the hibernation capsules of the crew and make sure they were in working order, make sure the ship didn’t run into anything, and fix things that broke. That was easy enough, I had thought. But it wasn’t to be that easy.
“Hull breach on deck nine,” said the computer and started to run the siren.
“Damn it,” I said. “Computer, cut out that noise.” I got up from the pilot’s chair and ran to deck nine.
On deck nine, I went to the room with the hull breach. Thankfully the room was sealed so only that compartment had lost its air. The light above the door was flashing bright red. From the window in the door, I couldn’t see the hole.
“Computer, what is the status of the breach?”
“Compartment 926 is in vacuum. Breach in compartment is inaccessible from the inside. Situation requires EVA for repair.”
Darn, I thought, I am going to have to go outside to fix this hole. “I never want to hear about another maintenance problem,” I said to myself. I thought about, just ignoring the holed compartment and relaxing, but instead, I headed toward the lockers where we kept the spacesuits. We had space suits of all types, from battle armor used by Marines, to thin pressure suits used in leaky compartments. I chose the type used for repairing holes in spaceships.
The suit was hard. It contained oxygen that would last a week; food and water that I needed to drink from a straw; and tools: patches, rivet guns, and vacuum safe glue. Still, the suit lacked anything resembling comfort. If I had to go to the bathroom, I was out of luck. I couldn’t come inside. By the time I would get out of the suit, I would have gone in the suit. Knowing this, I grabbed a think disposable diaper from the shelf and then stripped out of my jumpsuit and panties.
I lay down on the deck and pulled the diaper around my hips. I pulled it snug and firmly taped it in place. Once diapered, I stepped into the spacesuit and sealed it shut. It wouldn’t do for me to lose all my air when I went outside, so I made sure to double-check the seals.
#
The breach was worse than I thought. It took me an hour of walking on the outside of the spaceship to find the hole. Worse still, I would have to dig out chucks of meteor out of the hole, so I could patch it.
I took out my drill and started it up. It made a silent vibrating motion as I directed it to start drilling out the meteor. As soon as I placed it against the rock, the vibration thrummed across the skin of the spaceship up the legs of my spacesuit and shook my body like a bobble head. This was going to be a long job.
Three hours later, and six drill bits later, I had to pee. I just let it out into my diaper. There was no use trying to hold it. I still was only halfway done drilling. I drank more water; I was sweating in the spacesuit, and then I drank some of the food. I hated spacesuit food. It tasted like someone put fruit and vegetables together in a blender so it could be drunk. Actually, it was made that way. Still, I ate (or drank) because I needed my strength to finish the job.
I got out my drill and resumed my work. I was getting the meteor drilled out and I was finally to the point were I could pick up pieces of the rock and dig them out of the hole. It was a nine drill-bit job, but the rock was gone, but the hole was jagged.
A jagged hole would not do. Now I had to get out my grinder. “Will this job never end?” I asked myself. I stomach growled and cramped. I knew the space food I had a few hours ago, wanted out. But I did not want to mess my diaper. The inside of the spacesuit already smelled faintly of pee. I knew from experience that pooping a diaper in a spacesuit would smell a lot worse. I would hurry and get back to work.
I got out my grinder and turned it on. Sparks flew as I began to ground out the jagged edges of the hole. Another hour and a half. The spaceship’s metal was hard and I was cursing the time it took. The vibrating grinding of the ships hull, did nothing to ease the cramps in my lower abdomen. I wanted to hold my stomach, but I couldn’t reach into the spacesuit to rub it. Besides rubbing my stomach would make me lose my lunch in my diaper.
I had at least two hours of work to do. I would never make it. I took out my grinder and did the last bit of detail work. The vacuum safe glue, would only work on smooth surfaces and I didn’t want to come out here again.
Finally I finished grinding. I put the grinder away and pulled out a patch. It was steel plate about 12 inches in diameter. It was big enough! I put it on the deck and stood on it so it wouldn’t float away. My magnetic boot soles held me to the ship like a magnet on the fridge. I wanted to work on this quickly, but not rush. But the cramps hurt too much to work. I really had to poop. “I am so foolish,” I said to myself. “I should have gone before I came out here.”
I grimaced and stared blankly off into space as hot, muddy poop slid into my diaper. Since my suit was snug, the mess was squeezed all over the back of my diaper. I hope those tapes held.
I bent down and resumed my work. I squeezed a tube of vacuum safe glue part A into the hole. Then I got a tube of part B and squeezed it in the hole. Then I stirred it with a rod so both substances were well mixed. They would harden soon since I mixed together both parts. I placed the patch over the hole and smiled with satisfaction as some glue squeezed out from under the patch.
“That should hold,” I said and then smiled at my work.
I saw a flash of light from the other side of the ship, but I thought nothing of it. I hadn’t seen anything. I headed back to the airlock.
#
The space suit stunk. My butt stung from spending two hours in a messy diaper. I pulled off the helmet and placed it in the cleaner box. I heard another noise, but I must have imagined it. I was alone. No one was around. The passengers and the rest of the crew were asleep and I was the only one who could control the hibernation pods unless the ship’s computers sensed I had been dead or missing for 24 hours.
I pulled off the rest of the spacesuit and put it in the cleaning box. My jump suit and panties were gone. The cleaner bot must have already put them away in my room. I turned and headed to the shower in just my wet and messy diaper.
Out in the hall, I heard the noises again. “Computer, have you awakened a crewman?” I asked.
“Negative.”
“Is someone on board.”
“Affirmative.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. Someone here? But how?
“Corinna Kishek is on board, commanding,” said the computer.
“I know. That’s me. Who’s making the sounds?”
“Information unavailable. Internal sensors are down on decks one through eight. On decks nine through twelve internal sensors are 25% working.”
“Why didn’t you tell me the sensors were down when I came back on board?” I asked frustrated.
“You said, ‘I never want to hear about another maintenance problem.’”
“Belay that order, then,” I said. “I will take a shower and deal with the sensors and investigate the noise.”
I continued my journey to the showers, but when I turned the corner I saw the aliens. They were blue and humanoid, but they had strange translucent skin--no, not skin--scales. They had clear scales over blue skin. They had a black mane on their head and neck and they had glowing green eyes.
One came toward me and I turned to run. I only tripped and he caught me and pulled me toward the others. They conversed in an alien tongue as the pointed and gestured toward me.
One pointed at my dirty diaper and touched his nose and the other left and walked down the corridor.
He gestured to me and pointed the opposite direction and pushed me. I walked in front of him trembling. When I tried to run, he caught up with me and pulled me back. When I tried to rebel, he pushed me along until I moved cooperatively. Finally we arrived at the airlock where his ship was docked. That was the light I saw on the other side of the ship!
He pulled me inside and made me sit on the floor beside the airlock door of his ship.
“But I can’t sit down,” I started to protest. I didn’t relish the thought of sitting in a poopy diaper.
He pushed me down and I had no choice. The mess in my diaper spread toward the front and the back.
More speech was said in the alien tongue. This time it was not directed at me, but at his companion who had returned. He was carrying a bag of EVA diapers.
He stood me up and pulled me along the weaving, curving hallways of his ship. The other alien followed behind carrying the diapers. Other aliens made comments at me and pointed. Others touched their noses. My captors said some words to them and they desisted.
I was taken into a chamber in the ship with a waterfall. I wondered at the engineering required to keep a waterfall working in a spaceship, but then saw other aliens swimming in the pool below it and rubbing sand on their scales. There were several other pools too. It must be their shower room, but it was so fancy. My captor pulled off my diaper and pushed me into the pool. He threw the diaper into a hole in the wall and then pulled off his green tunic and threw it in another hole. He then followed me into the water.
He gestured to me and took a handful of sand from the bottom of the pool and rubbed it on his scales. He then rolled around in the water and stood up.
What was he doing? He pointed at me again.
“I don’t understand,” I said. He wanted me to do something. Instead I looked longingly at the waterfall.
The alien grabbed me and dunked me in the pool. He then took sand and scrubbed me with it. Since I didn’t have scales, it really hurt.
I screamed.
The alien dunked me in the pool again and pulled me out. He then pulled me toward the waterfall pool. Aliens stared at my naked body and chattered in an alien language until my captor said something to them.
I was dunked under the waterfall and scraped with sand repeatedly. Then I was pulled out onto the floor and led over to my alien captor’s companion.
My captor’s companion handed me a diaper and pointed at me. I saw my captor, pulling on a black garment and pointing at himself. He pointed to the garment and then pointed at himself. Then, he pointed at the diaper and then at me. I understood he intended me to wear diapers.
I reluctantly lay down on the floor and put the diaper on.
I was pulled into another room and forced to sit in a chair. A collar was put around my neck and the aliens push a button on it.
The alien said a few things to me. Then he pointed at my mouth.
“I can’t understand you,” I said.
He nodded rapidly and continued to talk in his alien language.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked. “I don’t speak your language.”
“<gibberish> talking.” Said the alien.
“Talking?” I asked. “I understood talking.”
“Keep talking. The <gibberish> needs to hear you talk to learn <gibberish>,” said the alien.
“So why an I here? Why did you capture me? And why did you bring diapers off my ship for me to wear?” I asked.
A bell on my collar rang and the alien pushed the button on it again.
“Can you understand me?” asked the alien.
“Yes, that’s amazing how that device works,” I said.
“The universal translator helps us with new aliens we meet,” he said.
“Can I go back to my ship? I am needed there.”
“No, we left the vicinity of your ship. You will be returned to your ship in one year’s time.”
“But I need clothes. You have me wearing diapers and I am bare breasted.” I covered my breasts with my hands.
“You were wearing the same thing when we encountered you. Aren’t these diapers you wear your clothes?”
“No, I wear them in a spacesuit to go outside the ship for long periods of time. I was on my way to shower and then get dressed.”
“We regret that diapers are all we brought from your ship for you to wear. You will have to make do.”
“Just great,” I said. “What else can go wrong today?”
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