From childhood to present, biography and experiences of a pee fetishist

[Sinna (2pee4you)]

Hello,

some might know it from a different Forum, some might not. As this is a new space for me entirely, I want to open a thread here, too. I write about my pee fetish from early childhood to present, which includes biographic and real experience elements. This is non fiction, it is written down from my memory of my own past.

My first memories are from when I was a very young girl. Maybe 2 or 3 years old. I could do without diapers at a very young age (my parents told me). What my parents did not know (I believe they never found out) is that I secretly loved to pee on the carpet floor in my childhood bedroom. I can not guarantee that these first memories are completely accurate, because these are such old memories that I am not sure if maybe fantasy might have changed the thoughts that I have of how things truly happened to me. But I will try to describe what I remember as honest as I can.

The first memory that I have of being interested in pee, is a memory of me in the bathtub, playing with a tiny pink dollcup. I was wondering what pee would taste like and I was old enough to know that it would be very naughty to try tasting it. The thought of how naughty it would be, gave me an exiting feeling and that made me want to try it even more. I must have been very young, because my mother was still with me while I was taking a bath. I am not totally sure, but I think I remember how the thought came up in my mind for the first time, when my mother left me alone for a second to go get a towel or something and I wanted to try it then, but I was too afraid that my mother might come back and catch me in the act, so I did not. After that the thought did not leave my head anymore and the next chance that I got, I peed into the small pink cup and put it to my mouth. It smelled quite strongly and because of that, I was a bit afraid to taste it. I tried just a very very very little bit. So little, that I did not know if I really had tasted it after that. So I had to try again. I really did not like the strange salty taste and I had a very guilty feeling after I had done this, but the naughtyness and secrecy of doing it also made me want to try again. It felt brave and proud in a strange kind of way when I one time drank the entire cup. I think every child is curious about the taste of pee at some age and I do not think that trying tasting it was really abnormal, but the way it felt for me and how I still remember it, trying to catch my pee with the cup and not liking the taste, but still wanting to taste more of it, I think that was really something special. To me it feels like my pee fetish is something that I have been born with and this was the first sign of it.

Around the same time, I liked to pee on the floor in my room instead of in the toilet. This was different then the drinking. This was not out of curiosity. It was just because it felt so nice to see the pee create a stain on the carpet, where people were not supposed to pee on. I also liked the feeling of doing something that I was not allowed to, but it was much more than that. I knew how dangerous it was and how my mother probably would notice the smell and find out some day. I really did not want that to happen, but I just could not help myself. It just felt so nice that I had to do it every once in a while. I used a spot in the corner of my room. The carpet in my room was dark blue. You could not see the pee on it after it had dried and the wet pee you would only see if you were looking for it. Of course I felt afraid that my parents would discover my secret, but since they did not seem to notice anything I dared to pee more and more every time. Maybe I subconsciously wanted my parents to find out and just wanted to get more attention in my own kind of shy way (I did lack a bit of attention from my parents for sure), but it did not and does not feel to me like that and I also do not like to think of it in that way. That would make my fetish some kind of a “wrong” reaction to my childhood circumstances instead of a nice love for pee that I have gotten as a present when I was born. Anyways, I started to pee more and more. I remember how I had peed so much that when I felt hours (or maybe even a day) later, the stain was still wet. I also remember how I once peed in the middle of my room. Afterwards I felt so afraid someone might find out. I think that is also the reason I stopped doing this. As I was getting older I started to realize that my pee pleasure was getting out of hand and could not/would not stay unnoticed if I went on like this. I really have no idea how old I was when I did pee on the floor of that room for pleasure for the last time. I do know that we got a vinyl floor when I was about eight years old, so it must have been before then. I think it was even before I was 4 years old, but that's just a feeling.

My first memory of peeing myself is a Kindergarten memory. It was a real accident and I felt very uncomfortable about it. I was 5 years old and I had changed to another Kindergarten a short time before. I did not feel very well between the other kids in the classroom. It was a day we were allowed to bring our own toys and play with them. I remember how I had to cry and when the teacher asked me what was wrong, I said: “They do not let me play with my own doll”. The teacher was very nice and she said: “Would you not also feel a bit better if we would find you some other pants to ware?”. I remember how glad I felt that I did not have to say anything about my accident and that she was not mad or even surprised. I was very shy (insecure) as a child and this accident had happened because I had been too afraid to ask if I could go to the toilet. This insecurity stayed with me for a long time and I felt shy in every situation. So I never dared to ask if I could go to the toilet and even with my own parents during a long car-ride I was too shy to say that I needed to go. So I held my pee until we stopped for some other reason. I had a very trained bladder because of this and I was able to hold my pee for a very long time, but it was still hard sometimes and my bladder did hurt when I really needed to go, but the fear of asking was so big, that I rather stood that bit of pain. I also had some bladder infections, probably because I had been holding my pee for too long. These infections caused me to wet my pants on accident a couple of times more. But in these cases I did not feel so ashamed about it, because I knew that not feeling the need to go was caused by the infection and I could not help it. When I think about how much I have been holding my pee, I think the pee holding might even have caused concentration problems that I had as a kid (and still have). Holding my pee became a normal situation for me and I still do it all the time, just because I do not take the time to go to the toilet when I am busy with something. Then I keep forgetting about it until that happened so often, that I really can not hold it anymore or until I pee for the pleasure of it and maybe make a videoclip out of it. Wetting my pants is something I still like doing, but it is not the real fetish that I have, only part of it. I really love pee and wetting things that I am not supposed to wet or seeing people do that. I love it the most when the pee creates a nice stain and you can see it spreading and getting sucked into the object or floor or whatever is being peed on. Pants do suck up the pee very nice and it is very nice to feel the warm pee on my legs, but pants you can wash or throw away and that's why peeing on a carpet floor or some other place where the pee stain will be permanent, turns me on even more. Although I am actually too decent to do this. (That is probably the cycle of why it turns me on so much)

This post is very personal. I want to thank you for being interested and reading it. It is only the start of my fetish, so I have much more pee stories about when I was getting older. These will follow.

[Sinna (2pee4you)]

When I was about 8 years old, I had a period where I loved to pee on the toilet with my panties on. I did this before taking a bath, so that I could go into the bath with the panties on and they wouldn't smell like pee when my mother found them. The feeling of wetting the panties, and sometimes also other clothes, is also something that still turns me on a bit. I don't know how often I have done this, but I know I stopped doing it that much, because it was very messy sometimes, because I couldn't really control where the pee went. When I was really enjoying the pantywetting it would run down my legs and wet the toilet seat and the floor and it would feel too good to stop. Cleaning it up, without getting my parents suspicious, wasn't easy.

A few years later (I still did the panty wetting on the toilet sometimes) I tried something new for the first time. I was taking a bath and I was lying on my back and I put my legs up in the air, over my head. Then I tried to pee with a stream strong enough to hit my face. That's how I got peed in the face for the first time and it felt really nice.

It didn't have the thrill of being very forbidden though. That's why I also started doing something else around that age. I wet my panties a tiny bit sometimes in the middle of situations with others around me. This gave me a really nice feeling, with shame and excitement. As I got older, I got into puberty and also got a menstrual cycle. Now I was using poise pads sometimes and they gave me a chance to pee more without other people noticing. I especially liked, and still like, thinking to myself that I am going to pee only a very little drop, knowing that I will pee more, because it will feel so nice. That moment where I go over my own limit, by peeing “too much” feels so nice. I get scared that others might notice the pee and then I get scared that they notice me being scared. I loved to do this at the dinner table when I was about 13 years old. At home with just panties and pants. I remember how I went to the toilet afterwards, feeling so afraid that my parents or brother would see a stain in my pants, because I thought I had definitely peed too much. The relief of seeing that the pee hadn't come all the way trough the jeans was always huge and it felt very nice to keep wearing the peed pants and panties afterwards. I also remember one time wetting a poise pad at the dinner table with my first boyfriend and his parents. I had decided that I could pee just a very little bit. I felt so naughty doing that, that it really made me want to pee a little bit more and then just one bit more, with a bit more power, so that it would be a little stream and not just a drop. I could feel it getting wet all around my vagina. I was so afraid about how my pants might be wet when I got up, but I couldn't get up yet, we were still eating. And the poise pad sucked up all the pee it started to feel dryer. This made me believe that I hadn't peed too much after all. And still all excited because of the thrill, I peed a bit again. The poise pad sucked it up again and I peed a bit more. The pad sucked it up again. All the peeing in little bits had really made me need to pee. I thought I could pee just one little bit more, but then... I couldn't control how much came out as good as before. I peed much more than I intended to and the pad didn't suck it all up. I set at the table feeling the wetness around my vagina and ass the rest of the dinner. I got so afraid and ashamed, that it turned me off a bit. But I didn't want to give into that. I wanted to go back to the nice feeling from before. I decided to pee a little bit more, as I was almost certain that the pee would be showing after getting up anyways. I peed and I could feel how a small puddle of pee developed on the completely saturated pad. Shortly after that, everyone had finished eating and I went to the toilet as fast as I could, looking down to the floor because my face felt as if it was as red as a tomato, I thought my chair was probably wet, but I didn't take any time to look at it, as I wanted to get out of the room while the others were still busy with cleaning up the table so that they maybe wouldn't look at me. At the toilet I first had to breathe. When I took my pants down, I found out that it wasn't that bad after all. The pad was completely soaked of course, but the jeans hadn't really let the pee through. There was only a very little spot, that you wouldn't see if you didn't look for it. Still, I felt very ashamed about not being able to control my own behavior out of hornyness.

The panty peeing was something I did for years. I also wanted to pee a bit in my panties in the classroom in high school. I tried lots of times, but I never really did. I couldn't do it without showing it in my face. And when I thought others could see, I didn't have the courage to go through with it. I did do it one time later in college though. I still do it sometimes. (Actually, writing about it makes me so excited about it, that I have been peeing little bits while writing this. It feels so nice, I'm peeing more and more...) The only thing is, that now at home, there is no reason for me to be ashamed when I wet myself and in other situations I'm mostly with my baby, being a mother. I don't feel like doing horny things when I'm in my mother role.

That is why I like making clips and selling them in my store so much, because there are people watching me then, so I do have reason to be ashamed (the “being a whore” selling myself for money part is also something that really turns me on, probably for the same reason.) On the other hand I feel like the visitors of my store are my friends and they understand my fetish, just like you, reading this. That also gives me a nice feeling, sharing my intimate excitement.

When I peed on camera for the first time, I still was a high school girl. I was home alone one night and I was in a horny and experimental mood (writing this, I'm sitting in a big puddle of pee already ). I knew how to get to a sexchat on the computer and that was what I wanted to do. I put on some sexy lingerie (using my mothers closet to complete my outfit) and I positioned the webcam so that it wouldn't show my face. I started a chat with someone, didn't type or say anything, just stood there in front of the camera and started to finger myself. First with one, then with two fingers quite rough and while I had my fingers in my vagina I started peeing. I felt like this was my chance to do it and I had to use that chance. I peed a big stream, just let it all splash on the floor, where it created a big puddle. The reaction was positive and I felt really nice. I've never felt bad about this, but I did feel very much ashamed afterwards. I had a boyfriend at the time (that same boyfriend from the dinner table) and I told him about fingering myself on webcam. I didn't tell him about the peeing and I've never told him that. I didn't know that much about my fetish at the time. I was much too shy and I was so ashamed of it.

Even with my next boyfriend (I was 18 years old at that time) I was too shy to say anything. Even though I thought he might like it. I thought that because one time, when we went to the beach, we had sex in the water. He was still inside me when he said “I want to pee inside you” then he laughed and acted like it was a joke (He used to do that all the time; say things, then laugh and say it was a joke and then say that it wasn't a joke but that it was serious and then say that it was a joke again. He was sooooo annoying and I'm so glad that I'm not together with him anymore. Sorry for writing that. I just have to make sure that if he ever reads this, he doesn't think that I like remembering having sex with him or being together with him.) This really must have not been a joke, because he even said it again. I don't remember how I reacted, probably said nothing out of shyness, maybe I even said that he could, but then he said that it causes infection and that he'd better not do it. Although he did not do it, it made me think, but I've never had the courage to ask him or tell him about my fetish. Luckily I found someone I did tell about my fetish later and I have some exciting stories about things that we did together. However, I will write about that some other time, because I need to go to bed and I'm getting all cold now, sitting here in my very wet pants and panties.

[Sinna (2pee4you)]

This story starts when I became a student. I moved out of my parents' house to go live in a different city and go to college. I felt so free! It was great. I met lots of people, had sex with guys, just because I found them attractive. I ordered my first real sex toys and had lots of fun discovering all my new possibilities. I didn't do much with my pee fetish though. Just being able to seduce a guy and take him home with me for a hot night was so nice, that it fulfilled all my needs at that time. That changed when I got into a serious relationship again. I really started to feel the wish of sharing my fetish with my boyfriend.

I lived in the same apartment complex as my boyfriend and we had to share the toilet and the shower with each other and with about 5 other persons. I was still very shy. Even though my boyfriend was very open minded about everything that had to do with sex or arousal, I still was too shy to tell him. I decided to ask him if he was alright with me peeing in the shower. And he was alright with that! I don't really remember what my next move was. I had read something on the internet about asking him to hold his hand in the pee stream. But I was much too shy for that. I think I might have “accidently” hit his foot with my pee and then said that I was sorry, just to look at his reaction. He said he didn't mind. I must have laughed a little shy, saying.. 'Oh so I could do it again' pretending to find it funny. From that moment on we peed on each other for fun almost every time we took a shower. It was so nice to share this with someone. But I wanted more of course. Since we had to share the toilet and we sometimes had to pee at the same time, it wasn't very strange to go to the toilet together. Out of funny fights over who could go pee first, it became normal for us to pee at the same time. Me sitting on the toilet with my legs open and him peeing through them. The nicest moments were when his aiming wasn't that good and I got to catch some pee. We played little games like this, where he pissed on my pussy on purpose. It was great to feel the powerful hot stream of my boyfriend tickle my clit and my pussy lips, making me all warm and wet. I thought my boyfriend knew about how horny these things made me feel. But only after a very long time I found out, that he thought we were only doing these things because it was funny. Still, I really enjoyed it. The pee fun with my boyfriend was quite satisfying. But I still had fantasies of pee in other situations. I got the idea of peeing on my bike while I was cycling. It would be so arousing to pee in public, On my bike I would be fast enough, so that people couldn't say anything to me or stare at me for very long. I really wanted to do it. And one day, cycling home from the train station, I peed a little bit. It was very hard to pee while I was cycling and even though I really wanted to pee more, I couldn't. But then I had to wait at a traffic light. This was the chance for me. I was so full of shame. But I did pee a little bit and when I was cycling again, it wasn't that hard to pee anymore, because I had already let a bit out and thinking of that feeling made me pee again. I peed a lot of little bits. But then there was another traffic light where I had to wait and get off of my bike. I was alone and I felt very proud when I saw how wet my saddle was. I also felt a bit nervous because people might come. On the other hand that thought was very arousing. No one came. I cycled on almost a bit disappointed. I wanted someone to know that I was peeing on my bike now. So I let my pee stream. It felt great to have the pee running down my legs while I was cycling. When I got back home I was very ashamed about what I had done. I was so afraid that my neighbors would see me. Luckily no one was home and I took off my wet pants as soon as I could and didn't even tell my boyfriend about this. Still, it was a great experience to think back to. And this peeing on my bike had been so nice. That it had really made me want more. So not long after it, I did something else, much more embarrassing! I will post that in another story

[Dusty Harold]

Thank You

Sinna ,

I'm very impressed with what you had written on here . About yourself . I was like you , being shy around people whiile growing up . my pee fetish got started around 8 years of age , the same as you , when a class mate had a wetting accident right in front of me . not more than 2 feet away . How I felt , shocked , embarrassed for the girl who had the accidental wetting and allso how I felt aroused by it as well . Though my concern was for the girl and how she felt ! ! Being laughed at and snickered at by other clas mates . How mad it made me to see this girl . Being so very desperate . Then peeing a flood right at my feet ! Not mad at the girl in question , but , those around her . Making fun of her ! This also is how I had to deal with , through my life , with being Humiliated by others , for the disadvantages I had to deal with through out my life . Until I grew much older .
So I knew what she was going through at that moment . That I had to try , in stopping the class mates from laughing at her . Though failed at that attempt . That I had made eye contact with this girl . That I understood how she might be feeling at that moment . Before the Teacher led her out of the class room to get cleaned up . Never saw her ever again after that had occurred .
Though later on that evening . When I was thinking over what I had seen and experienced in class earlier that day . Made me aware that I was getting interested in what had happened to that girl that day .

I had always been interested in how a girl peed ! Though never got a chance to see up close . Where the pee flowed from . Thought at one time it came out from a girls vagina . When I was real young . When much older 8 / 9 years of age . Did I read and realize I was wrong at where a girl peed !

Now a days . it's so easy to get on the computer and find this information out, though , when much younger . Computers weren't available back then . As they are now in current times . So my interest waned from that time till just recently in what I like to watch , see and do in my pee fetish I have now and enjoy in . I would love to rattle on over what I would love to do . What I have done . Though that might be a bit too long here to go into .

If you wish P.M. me and I will be pleased to go more in depth in all of it to you , if you want to .

I just want to say that I really like what you had written on here . About yourself . I have always considered hearing what a woman , like yourself , has to say about how she feels , thinks and does in the pee fetish they love .
Because it's so very important to know about . Appreciate hearing their views and opinions . As it's important to myself in knowing how they had come to embrace the pee fetish they have come to know and love to indulge in! !

Thank You , for sharing all that you had written on here ! It's very interesting , insightful and Oh Yeah , So Very arousing in knowing about you .What you enjoy doing with Pee ! !