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Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.
My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of May 20, 2011.
First up, the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) is pleased to note the recent success of the school’s academic team. At last Saturday’s “Quiz-Off” championship our school took the first place trophy amongst 10 schools and all 10 of these schools were champions of prior competitions. The bad news, however, is that we have 3 cases of toilet violations at the competition. Unfortunately for the girls, this qualifies as a competition with another school, thus making these offenses “violations while representing the school.” As fans of the TVPC surely know, this makes the violations more serious and qualifies the girls for more serious punishment.
Andrea, a pretty but bookwormish honor student is the first of these cases. She is charged with soiling her panties at the competition. “I don’t seem to have the Violation Report on this one,” states Mrs. Crabtree (a member of the TVPC), as she shuffles through her papers. “Its case #90210,” I point out and she quickly finds the appropriate report. Andrea pleads “Guilty” but asks for leniency. She has a prior wetting accident in school and a few other toilet violations – twice forgetting to flush the toilet (once after a urination and once when she went both ways) and one violation each of using a faculty ladies’ room and the more private bathroom in the nurse’s office.
“I know it was a really disgusting and a shameful thing to do at my age,” she acknowledges, “And I know that I should be ashamed of myself and I certainly am.” “I know that there’s no excuse for not using the toilet when I need to – Especially at a Quiz-Off competition like this one,” she continues, “But I just couldn’t make myself do it in the girls’ room there.” “They didn’t have any doors on the toilet stalls for privacy,” she explains, with a cry in her voice, “I just couldn’t use the toilet like that – not for what I had to do.” “I mean, I did go in there and pee,” she rambles on, “But I couldn’t do the other thing in there – not without any privacy in the stalls.” “I know I should have gone in the toilet anyway in spite of there being no privacy,” she tells us, “But I just couldn’t do it no matter how bad I had to go.” “I’m not saying this as an excuse and I know I have to be punished – especially doing this in front of girls from other schools at the Quiz-Off,” she continues, “But if you could just take into consideration how the bathrooms were and why I couldn’t go #2 in there.”
“You mean you didn’t WANT to do #2 in there,” I point out, “You had every opportunity to go but you just DECIDED not to because you didn’t like the privacy accommodations. “Yes, sir – I didn’t like having no privacy,” she answers, “I don’t mind public bathrooms so much in general, but I just can’t stand not having a door on the stall – especially when I gotta do #2.” “What I just mean to say, sir, is that I hope you won’t punish me too bad for this,” she explains, “I think I have a good toilet record in general with no other accidents except for a wetting.”
Blossom and Penny, two other members of our school’s academic team are also present in the committee room today. “She’s right that there were no doors on the bathroom stalls,” states Blossom, a very pretty and very articulate sophomore, “But the girls’ room was pretty clean otherwise and I really had no problem using it myself.” “I just had Penny stand in front of the stall with her back to me as I used the toilet,” Blossom says, “I can’t really say that I liked the idea of having a BM like that, either, but it was certainly preferable to doing it in my panties.” “And then we switched places and I stood there blocking for Penny while she used the toilet.” “There’s no way that Penny went #2 in that bathroom like that,” Andrea argues, “She doesn’t even do that in school when there is a door there for privacy.” Upon questioning, Penny acknowledges that she only urinated in the toilet there and just held in her bowel movement until she got home. “But I do go BM in school when I have to,” Penny, cute dark-haired sophomore, is quick to point out, “I hate messing in my panties and I try not to do that anymore.”
“I went BM in there, too,” chimes in Marcia, another member of our academic team, “Like Blossom said, you just have another girl block for you so nobody can see you on the toilet,” she explains, “And then you switch places and she blocks for you.” “I just don’t know that the big deal is,” she points out, “And even if you don’t have someone to block for you, you still go in the toilet instead of going in your pants.” “You remind me of my sister Jan,” Marcia, a senior and captain of the Academic Team, tells Andrea, “I just can’t see how anyone would just not use the toilet when they really have to.” “Do you have any idea how disgusting it is to do a mess in your panties?”
“Of course I know how disgusting it is – I’m the one who messed in her panties – Remember,” Andrea snaps back, a little peeved at the lecture from her academic teammates, “You don’t think I know how disgusting it is?” “I know how disgusting it is to walk around like that and have people looking at you and laughing at you for it,” she continues, now starting to cry, “And I know how disgusting it is to have to sit it in and ride home on the bus sitting in it.” “And I’m the one who had to clean it up when I got home – Do you have any idea how disgusting that was?” she shouts as the tears flow, “Do you have any idea how disgusting it was to wipe myself after sitting in that mess for half the day?” “If you don’t think I’ve been punished by this already, you’re crazy,” she adds, as she breaks down sobbing, “And now Brandon is never going to want to go out with me because I went #2 in my panties!” Brandon, apparently, is a boy she has a crush on.
Obviously, she is sincere and truly feels the shame and disgust of what she did. But she’s also given us no indication that if faced with doorless stalls again, she would do anything differently. In determining her punishment, I will indeed consider how sorry she is and how bad she feels about it. And I’ll certainly consider her fairly good toilet record and I’ll even consider that the girls’ room there wasn’t the greatest. But, of course, I also have to consider that this was a “while representing the school” accident as well as a soiling of considerable severity. I also have to consider that it pretty much happened in the middle of the day, causing a lot of other girls from the other teams to see her in messy panties.
“You sound like you learned an important lesson about how unpleasant it is to mess in your panties and hopefully this will be the last time that you let this happen,” I tell her, “But your accident caused considerable embarrassment to your team and to your whole school.” I first sentence her to write 500 times, “I will not soil my panties at academic competitions again.” I also sentence her to spend 1 week of detention and 1 week of her 4th period study hall sitting on the toilet. Given the circumstances of this case, she’ll have to do all her toilet sitting in the girls’ room by the gymnasium and auditorium. It’s unfortunately not one of our school’s nicer girls’ rooms. She’ll also have to write a 1,000 word letter of apology to her Quiz-Off teammates. Her punishment certainly gives her no reason to stop crying now.
Our second case from the Quiz-Off is not an accident case, but a different type of toilet violation. Rather than choose between using the girls’ room toilet for her bowel movement (as Blossom and Marcia did) or go in her pants (like Andrea did) Carol headed down the hall and up the stairs and used a faculty ladies’ room instead. She was caught coming out of that bathroom by the school principal, Ms. Victoria. In addition to using that faculty bathroom, she is also charged with clogging a toilet in there. I am really sorry to see that, since that latter offense makes a toilet suspension a distinct possibility. Though obviously unintentional (it was merely a clog via her unusually large bowel movement and the reasonable amount of toilet paper that she used to wipe herself with afterwards), clogging a toilet in a bathroom that she shouldn’t have been using in the first place – all the while representing the school – makes this a serious mater. “I know you’ve had some toilet troubles in the past – especially with accidents in your panties,” I tell her, “But you seemed to have improved your toilet habits over the years.” “They seemed more like GROWING PAINS than anything else,” I explain to the pretty junior who’s also perennially on the honor roll, of course, “But this, I’m afraid, is a bit more serious than just messing in your panties.” She does have 3 soiling accident offenses this year, including one that was a doubleheader – that is she went both ways in her pants. But I called that GROWING PAINS since it was a marked improvement over the 9 accidents she had as a freshman and the 7 (including 4 doubleheaders) that she had last year.
“I admit that I used the teachers’ bathroom and I’m sorry about that,” Carol tells us, “But no way did I clog the toilet.” “I pooped, I wiped, and I flushed,” she explains, “And when I flushed it all went down without any problems.” The other school’s Principal, Ms. Victoria, is actually here today to address these charges against Carol. “Actually I want to drop the charge that she clogged the toilet,” Principal Victoria reports, “We’ve done some further investigation and we found out that one of our teachers did that – it wasn’t Carol clogging the toilet like we originally thought.” “I told you it wasn’t me,” Carol snaps back, “Next time maybe you shouldn’t accuse someone of something unless you’re sure.” That comment draws a warning from me. “I’d watch my attitude if I were you,” I tell her. “Principal Victoria admitted she made a mistake and now that charge has been dropped,” I point out, “If I were you I’d be happy about that.”
As to her other offense, the junior honor student tells us what we pretty much already knew. “I didn’t like having no doors on the bathroom stalls in the girls’ room,” she tells us. “I went #1 in there earlier and that was bad enough,” she says, “But I really didn’t want to go poops like that.” “After a while, I started to realize that I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in until we got back,” she continues, “And I really didn’t want to go in my pants – I’m tired of going in my pants and getting punished all the time.” “So I just went and tried to find a different bathroom – a better bathroom,” she explains, “The teachers’ one had doors on the stalls and it was actually really nice.”
“And did you happen to see the sign on the door that said ‘Staff Members Only’?” Principal Victoria asks, “And did you happen to see the other sign on the door that said ‘No Students Allowed’?” “Yes Ma’am,” Carol answers. “I knew that I wasn’t supposed to be in that bathroom,” she admits, “But I just didn’t want to go in my panties.” “That bathroom was just so nice and it was so private compared to the student one,” she tells us, “I really didn’t mean any harm in using it.” When asked why she didn’t do what Blossom did and have someone stand in front of the stall blocking for her while she was on the toilet, she says that she wouldn’t like that. “Even with her back turned, I don’t think I could have gone with another girl standing that close to me,” she says, “I really like the privacy of a stall door.” “That teachers’ bathroom was just so nice,” she adds, “I just couldn’t believe that they’d have girls’ bathrooms with no doors on the stalls.” “Maybe you’ll learn to appreciate the girls’ rooms that we have here at our school,” I point out, “I know girls are always complaining about them, but at least we have doors on practically all the stalls.” “Yes sir,” she responds, “I guess the girls’ rooms here aren’t so bad after all.”
“For punishment, you can start by writing Principal Victoria a 2,000 word letter of apology,” I tell her and note for the record, “I’m sure that she has better things to do than coming all the way over here to press this case against you.” For the rest of Carol’s punishment, I will defer to Principal Victoria. “We have a standard punishment at our school for girls caught using the teachers’ restroom,” she explains to Carol, “And that punishment is 5 hours of Saturday Detention.” “They spend half of the day sitting on the toilet in those doorless girls’ room stalls,” she explains further, “And they spend the other half of the day cleaning those girls’ rooms.” Our junior honor student is being assigned to report there bright and early Saturday morning and serve her punishment there. And bright and early is exactly when she will have to get up on Saturday to make the 45 minute drive there and still get to Saturday Detention on time. “If you’re late, you get an extra hour added on,” the principal warns her. In light of all that, and the fact that she merely used the toilet and didn’t actually create a problem in that teachers’ restroom, I spare her any further detention and repetitive writing punishment. But I do warn her that she will be representing our school while she is over there serving Saturday Detention. That is, if she does need to use the toilet again while she’s there, let’s hope that she can do that in one of the doorless stalls instead of her pants. The last thing she needs is another “while representing the school” toilet violation. Maybe she can serve the toilet sitting portion of her detention later in the morning when she’s more likely to be more desperate to go and will have no choice but to go in the toilet as she’ll be sitting on one already.
The final case from last Saturday’s Quiz-Off competition is Jessie, a tall and skinny senior beauty, who is the History and Civics expert on the Academic team. She’s awfully good on feminist type issues, too. Unlike the other girls from the Academic team accused today, Jessie actually did have a bowel movement in one of those doorless girls’ room stalls. The problem was that she simply forgot to flush the toilet afterwards. This, of course, is the least serious case of the three.
“I just forgot to flush it,” Jessie explains, shaking her head, “I don’t know how I could have been so stupid, but I just forgot to flush.” The comment brings a little chuckle to those assembled here in the TVPC meeting room. It’s a bit of an ironic juxtaposition that a girl smart enough to be on our championship academic team could forget something as basic as flushing the toilet after she used it.
“I guess I was just distracted,” Jessie points out. She explains that she was suddenly feeling the urge to go during the competition and it was getting pretty urgent. “The round finally ended and I was SAVED BY THE BELL,” she explains, “And then I ran down the hall to the girls’ room.” “It was between rounds and I was really in a hurry to get back,” she continues, “It seems really stupid now when I think about it, but I guess I was just in such a hurry that I forgot to flush.” “I sat down, did my business, wiped myself, and pulled up my pants,” she explains, “And then I hightailed it out of there barely even washing my hands.” “I just forgot to flush the toilet,” she repeats, “I can’t believe that I just forgot to flush the toilet.”
Apparently, a coach of one of the other teams was taking care of her own business in the next stall from Jessie and didn’t hear a flush as Jessie ran out of there in a hurry. She then checked the toilet and found Jessie’s load still sitting there unflushed and she subsequently reported it to our coach. “I didn’t do it on purpose,” Jessie asserts. “I know everyone goes to the bathroom and that bowel movements are nothing to be ashamed of,” Jessie reasons, “But the last thing I wanted was for someone to see mine – especially with the size of what I unloaded on Saturday.” “It was a little unnerving to be in a stall without a door on it,” Jessie adds, “I certainly didn’t intend to make my bowel movement more public than it already was.
Of course, we believe Jessie’s story that it was only accidental and we are very impressed that Jessie has a very good toilet record. We do have to consider that she was representing the school at the time, but there is no reason to be particularly severe with her. She gets 2 days detention and she has to write 200 times, “I must remember to flush the toilet after I use it.” As for those 2 days of detention, she’ll have to spend both days shadowing a girl on toilet cleaning punishment. When it comes time to flush that toilet as part of the cleaning process, Jessie will be the one flushing it. “You won’t have to do any actual toilet cleaning punishment,” I point out to her, “All you’ll have to do is flush the toilet when the cleaner needs you to.”
My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of May 20, 2011.
First up, the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) is pleased to note the recent success of the school’s academic team. At last Saturday’s “Quiz-Off” championship our school took the first place trophy amongst 10 schools and all 10 of these schools were champions of prior competitions. The bad news, however, is that we have 3 cases of toilet violations at the competition. Unfortunately for the girls, this qualifies as a competition with another school, thus making these offenses “violations while representing the school.” As fans of the TVPC surely know, this makes the violations more serious and qualifies the girls for more serious punishment.
Andrea, a pretty but bookwormish honor student is the first of these cases. She is charged with soiling her panties at the competition. “I don’t seem to have the Violation Report on this one,” states Mrs. Crabtree (a member of the TVPC), as she shuffles through her papers. “Its case #90210,” I point out and she quickly finds the appropriate report. Andrea pleads “Guilty” but asks for leniency. She has a prior wetting accident in school and a few other toilet violations – twice forgetting to flush the toilet (once after a urination and once when she went both ways) and one violation each of using a faculty ladies’ room and the more private bathroom in the nurse’s office.
“I know it was a really disgusting and a shameful thing to do at my age,” she acknowledges, “And I know that I should be ashamed of myself and I certainly am.” “I know that there’s no excuse for not using the toilet when I need to – Especially at a Quiz-Off competition like this one,” she continues, “But I just couldn’t make myself do it in the girls’ room there.” “They didn’t have any doors on the toilet stalls for privacy,” she explains, with a cry in her voice, “I just couldn’t use the toilet like that – not for what I had to do.” “I mean, I did go in there and pee,” she rambles on, “But I couldn’t do the other thing in there – not without any privacy in the stalls.” “I know I should have gone in the toilet anyway in spite of there being no privacy,” she tells us, “But I just couldn’t do it no matter how bad I had to go.” “I’m not saying this as an excuse and I know I have to be punished – especially doing this in front of girls from other schools at the Quiz-Off,” she continues, “But if you could just take into consideration how the bathrooms were and why I couldn’t go #2 in there.”
“You mean you didn’t WANT to do #2 in there,” I point out, “You had every opportunity to go but you just DECIDED not to because you didn’t like the privacy accommodations. “Yes, sir – I didn’t like having no privacy,” she answers, “I don’t mind public bathrooms so much in general, but I just can’t stand not having a door on the stall – especially when I gotta do #2.” “What I just mean to say, sir, is that I hope you won’t punish me too bad for this,” she explains, “I think I have a good toilet record in general with no other accidents except for a wetting.”
Blossom and Penny, two other members of our school’s academic team are also present in the committee room today. “She’s right that there were no doors on the bathroom stalls,” states Blossom, a very pretty and very articulate sophomore, “But the girls’ room was pretty clean otherwise and I really had no problem using it myself.” “I just had Penny stand in front of the stall with her back to me as I used the toilet,” Blossom says, “I can’t really say that I liked the idea of having a BM like that, either, but it was certainly preferable to doing it in my panties.” “And then we switched places and I stood there blocking for Penny while she used the toilet.” “There’s no way that Penny went #2 in that bathroom like that,” Andrea argues, “She doesn’t even do that in school when there is a door there for privacy.” Upon questioning, Penny acknowledges that she only urinated in the toilet there and just held in her bowel movement until she got home. “But I do go BM in school when I have to,” Penny, cute dark-haired sophomore, is quick to point out, “I hate messing in my panties and I try not to do that anymore.”
“I went BM in there, too,” chimes in Marcia, another member of our academic team, “Like Blossom said, you just have another girl block for you so nobody can see you on the toilet,” she explains, “And then you switch places and she blocks for you.” “I just don’t know that the big deal is,” she points out, “And even if you don’t have someone to block for you, you still go in the toilet instead of going in your pants.” “You remind me of my sister Jan,” Marcia, a senior and captain of the Academic Team, tells Andrea, “I just can’t see how anyone would just not use the toilet when they really have to.” “Do you have any idea how disgusting it is to do a mess in your panties?”
“Of course I know how disgusting it is – I’m the one who messed in her panties – Remember,” Andrea snaps back, a little peeved at the lecture from her academic teammates, “You don’t think I know how disgusting it is?” “I know how disgusting it is to walk around like that and have people looking at you and laughing at you for it,” she continues, now starting to cry, “And I know how disgusting it is to have to sit it in and ride home on the bus sitting in it.” “And I’m the one who had to clean it up when I got home – Do you have any idea how disgusting that was?” she shouts as the tears flow, “Do you have any idea how disgusting it was to wipe myself after sitting in that mess for half the day?” “If you don’t think I’ve been punished by this already, you’re crazy,” she adds, as she breaks down sobbing, “And now Brandon is never going to want to go out with me because I went #2 in my panties!” Brandon, apparently, is a boy she has a crush on.
Obviously, she is sincere and truly feels the shame and disgust of what she did. But she’s also given us no indication that if faced with doorless stalls again, she would do anything differently. In determining her punishment, I will indeed consider how sorry she is and how bad she feels about it. And I’ll certainly consider her fairly good toilet record and I’ll even consider that the girls’ room there wasn’t the greatest. But, of course, I also have to consider that this was a “while representing the school” accident as well as a soiling of considerable severity. I also have to consider that it pretty much happened in the middle of the day, causing a lot of other girls from the other teams to see her in messy panties.
“You sound like you learned an important lesson about how unpleasant it is to mess in your panties and hopefully this will be the last time that you let this happen,” I tell her, “But your accident caused considerable embarrassment to your team and to your whole school.” I first sentence her to write 500 times, “I will not soil my panties at academic competitions again.” I also sentence her to spend 1 week of detention and 1 week of her 4th period study hall sitting on the toilet. Given the circumstances of this case, she’ll have to do all her toilet sitting in the girls’ room by the gymnasium and auditorium. It’s unfortunately not one of our school’s nicer girls’ rooms. She’ll also have to write a 1,000 word letter of apology to her Quiz-Off teammates. Her punishment certainly gives her no reason to stop crying now.
Our second case from the Quiz-Off is not an accident case, but a different type of toilet violation. Rather than choose between using the girls’ room toilet for her bowel movement (as Blossom and Marcia did) or go in her pants (like Andrea did) Carol headed down the hall and up the stairs and used a faculty ladies’ room instead. She was caught coming out of that bathroom by the school principal, Ms. Victoria. In addition to using that faculty bathroom, she is also charged with clogging a toilet in there. I am really sorry to see that, since that latter offense makes a toilet suspension a distinct possibility. Though obviously unintentional (it was merely a clog via her unusually large bowel movement and the reasonable amount of toilet paper that she used to wipe herself with afterwards), clogging a toilet in a bathroom that she shouldn’t have been using in the first place – all the while representing the school – makes this a serious mater. “I know you’ve had some toilet troubles in the past – especially with accidents in your panties,” I tell her, “But you seemed to have improved your toilet habits over the years.” “They seemed more like GROWING PAINS than anything else,” I explain to the pretty junior who’s also perennially on the honor roll, of course, “But this, I’m afraid, is a bit more serious than just messing in your panties.” She does have 3 soiling accident offenses this year, including one that was a doubleheader – that is she went both ways in her pants. But I called that GROWING PAINS since it was a marked improvement over the 9 accidents she had as a freshman and the 7 (including 4 doubleheaders) that she had last year.
“I admit that I used the teachers’ bathroom and I’m sorry about that,” Carol tells us, “But no way did I clog the toilet.” “I pooped, I wiped, and I flushed,” she explains, “And when I flushed it all went down without any problems.” The other school’s Principal, Ms. Victoria, is actually here today to address these charges against Carol. “Actually I want to drop the charge that she clogged the toilet,” Principal Victoria reports, “We’ve done some further investigation and we found out that one of our teachers did that – it wasn’t Carol clogging the toilet like we originally thought.” “I told you it wasn’t me,” Carol snaps back, “Next time maybe you shouldn’t accuse someone of something unless you’re sure.” That comment draws a warning from me. “I’d watch my attitude if I were you,” I tell her. “Principal Victoria admitted she made a mistake and now that charge has been dropped,” I point out, “If I were you I’d be happy about that.”
As to her other offense, the junior honor student tells us what we pretty much already knew. “I didn’t like having no doors on the bathroom stalls in the girls’ room,” she tells us. “I went #1 in there earlier and that was bad enough,” she says, “But I really didn’t want to go poops like that.” “After a while, I started to realize that I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in until we got back,” she continues, “And I really didn’t want to go in my pants – I’m tired of going in my pants and getting punished all the time.” “So I just went and tried to find a different bathroom – a better bathroom,” she explains, “The teachers’ one had doors on the stalls and it was actually really nice.”
“And did you happen to see the sign on the door that said ‘Staff Members Only’?” Principal Victoria asks, “And did you happen to see the other sign on the door that said ‘No Students Allowed’?” “Yes Ma’am,” Carol answers. “I knew that I wasn’t supposed to be in that bathroom,” she admits, “But I just didn’t want to go in my panties.” “That bathroom was just so nice and it was so private compared to the student one,” she tells us, “I really didn’t mean any harm in using it.” When asked why she didn’t do what Blossom did and have someone stand in front of the stall blocking for her while she was on the toilet, she says that she wouldn’t like that. “Even with her back turned, I don’t think I could have gone with another girl standing that close to me,” she says, “I really like the privacy of a stall door.” “That teachers’ bathroom was just so nice,” she adds, “I just couldn’t believe that they’d have girls’ bathrooms with no doors on the stalls.” “Maybe you’ll learn to appreciate the girls’ rooms that we have here at our school,” I point out, “I know girls are always complaining about them, but at least we have doors on practically all the stalls.” “Yes sir,” she responds, “I guess the girls’ rooms here aren’t so bad after all.”
“For punishment, you can start by writing Principal Victoria a 2,000 word letter of apology,” I tell her and note for the record, “I’m sure that she has better things to do than coming all the way over here to press this case against you.” For the rest of Carol’s punishment, I will defer to Principal Victoria. “We have a standard punishment at our school for girls caught using the teachers’ restroom,” she explains to Carol, “And that punishment is 5 hours of Saturday Detention.” “They spend half of the day sitting on the toilet in those doorless girls’ room stalls,” she explains further, “And they spend the other half of the day cleaning those girls’ rooms.” Our junior honor student is being assigned to report there bright and early Saturday morning and serve her punishment there. And bright and early is exactly when she will have to get up on Saturday to make the 45 minute drive there and still get to Saturday Detention on time. “If you’re late, you get an extra hour added on,” the principal warns her. In light of all that, and the fact that she merely used the toilet and didn’t actually create a problem in that teachers’ restroom, I spare her any further detention and repetitive writing punishment. But I do warn her that she will be representing our school while she is over there serving Saturday Detention. That is, if she does need to use the toilet again while she’s there, let’s hope that she can do that in one of the doorless stalls instead of her pants. The last thing she needs is another “while representing the school” toilet violation. Maybe she can serve the toilet sitting portion of her detention later in the morning when she’s more likely to be more desperate to go and will have no choice but to go in the toilet as she’ll be sitting on one already.
The final case from last Saturday’s Quiz-Off competition is Jessie, a tall and skinny senior beauty, who is the History and Civics expert on the Academic team. She’s awfully good on feminist type issues, too. Unlike the other girls from the Academic team accused today, Jessie actually did have a bowel movement in one of those doorless girls’ room stalls. The problem was that she simply forgot to flush the toilet afterwards. This, of course, is the least serious case of the three.
“I just forgot to flush it,” Jessie explains, shaking her head, “I don’t know how I could have been so stupid, but I just forgot to flush.” The comment brings a little chuckle to those assembled here in the TVPC meeting room. It’s a bit of an ironic juxtaposition that a girl smart enough to be on our championship academic team could forget something as basic as flushing the toilet after she used it.
“I guess I was just distracted,” Jessie points out. She explains that she was suddenly feeling the urge to go during the competition and it was getting pretty urgent. “The round finally ended and I was SAVED BY THE BELL,” she explains, “And then I ran down the hall to the girls’ room.” “It was between rounds and I was really in a hurry to get back,” she continues, “It seems really stupid now when I think about it, but I guess I was just in such a hurry that I forgot to flush.” “I sat down, did my business, wiped myself, and pulled up my pants,” she explains, “And then I hightailed it out of there barely even washing my hands.” “I just forgot to flush the toilet,” she repeats, “I can’t believe that I just forgot to flush the toilet.”
Apparently, a coach of one of the other teams was taking care of her own business in the next stall from Jessie and didn’t hear a flush as Jessie ran out of there in a hurry. She then checked the toilet and found Jessie’s load still sitting there unflushed and she subsequently reported it to our coach. “I didn’t do it on purpose,” Jessie asserts. “I know everyone goes to the bathroom and that bowel movements are nothing to be ashamed of,” Jessie reasons, “But the last thing I wanted was for someone to see mine – especially with the size of what I unloaded on Saturday.” “It was a little unnerving to be in a stall without a door on it,” Jessie adds, “I certainly didn’t intend to make my bowel movement more public than it already was.
Of course, we believe Jessie’s story that it was only accidental and we are very impressed that Jessie has a very good toilet record. We do have to consider that she was representing the school at the time, but there is no reason to be particularly severe with her. She gets 2 days detention and she has to write 200 times, “I must remember to flush the toilet after I use it.” As for those 2 days of detention, she’ll have to spend both days shadowing a girl on toilet cleaning punishment. When it comes time to flush that toilet as part of the cleaning process, Jessie will be the one flushing it. “You won’t have to do any actual toilet cleaning punishment,” I point out to her, “All you’ll have to do is flush the toilet when the cleaner needs you to.”
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