Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of June 20, 2011.

The first case of the day before the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC), or should I say the first two cases of the day are Theresa, a junior with short blonde hair. She faces two separate charges of soiling her panties – the first occurring during Saturday Detention over the weekend (well, on Saturday!) and the second occurring in gym class earlier today. Saturday Detention is a new program started by the Principal – for non-toilet related offenses, of course. The TVPC doesn’t issue Saturday Detentions ourselves (although we are watching how it goes for the Principal and we are considering starting it ourselves), but since it is a school program, the toileting behavior of the girls on Saturday Detention comes under TVPC jurisdiction. As I understand it, Theresa was sentenced to 5 hours of Saturday Detention for being late to school and then forging an excuse note from her mom. For her detention she had to do clean-up work around the school – mopping floors, scraping gum off the bottom of desks, emptying garbage cans and stuff like that. The only consolation, I suppose, was that she wasn’t assigned to cleaning bathrooms. That punishment, of course, is strictly the purview of the TVPC.

This girl is not a frequent accident offender – she has 1 previous messing accident this year and 3 times her freshman year was her worst up until now – so it’s quite a surprise to see her facing two such charges at once. “You’ve apparently been pretty good with using the girls’ room when you need to,” I tell her, “Did you suddenly forget where you’re supposed to be doing your bowel movements?” “No, sir,” she says with a little smile, keeping a sense of humor about this, “I guess I’m just having a run of bad luck, starting when I got Saturday Detention in the first place.” “She didn’t bother to use the toilet at the break,” Miss Defequer, the teacher in charge of Saturday Detention reports, “Then she wanted me to let her go a while later – But she already had her chance.” Apparently the girls are only allowed one bathroom break in the middle of their Saturday Detention. “It’s bad enough that she makes us use the basement girls’ room across from the shop classes,” Theresa complains, “But she makes us all go in there as a group.” “I really don’t mind going to the bathroom at school at all as long as it’s in one of the nicer girls’ room,” she tells us, “But the basement girls’ room is the worst in the whole school – None of the stalls even have doors on them.” “So now you have a whole bunch of girls crowded in a small bathroom with no doors on the stalls,” she continues, “And I gotta do a #2 kind of bad.” “I just couldn’t do it in there – I just couldn’t do it without any privacy at all and the whole bathroom full of other girls,” she adds, “I wanted to go a little later when at least I could be alone in there and get a little privacy, but Miss Defequer wouldn’t let me.” “I really wanted to just go to the girls’ room anyway, but I know you get in worse trouble for going to the girls’ room without permission than you get for going in your panties,” she reasons, “I know I’m guilty of making a mess in my panties, but I really don’t think it was my fault – If only she’d taken us to a nicer girls’ room or at least let me go in that one by myself, this whole thing never would have happened.”

Miss Defequer has made a notation on the Violation Report recommending that our young panty-soiling offender receive the maximum punishment since she had the soiling accident while she was already on punishment. She suggests that the girl be made to come to Saturday Detention every Saturday until she does have a bowel movement in that basement girls’ room during the detention break. Given the circumstances, and especially since it was only her second soiling accident offense of the school year, those suggestions are way over the top.

Now turning the committee’s attention to today’s accident in gym class, I ask her to explain this one as well. “I have to say that this one really is my fault,” the articulate junior explains, “I just waited too long in getting to the toilet this time.” “The toilets in the girls’ locker room aren’t much better than the basement girls’ room,” she explains further, “3 of the 4 stalls do have doors on them, but they face right where everybody is changing for gym.” “No one likes to make #2 in there since everyone changing in the locker room can hear everything going on in the stall,” she continues, “So that’s why I was trying to hold it in until after gym class, so I could go use a batter bathroom.” “How did that work out for you?” I ask her. “Obviously not so good,” she says, pointing to the seat of her jeans where today’s mess sits in her panties, “I did hold it in to do MOST of it in the toilet right after gym class, but obviously MOST of it in the toilet isn’t good enough.” Unlike Miss Defequer, her gym teacher has noted that since the mess isn’t all that severe and that since she did at least do some of it in the toilets in the girls’ locker room after gym class, she deserves a little leniency with this one. I find that interesting.

“You avoided using the toilet BEFORE gym class because you didn’t like that particular bathroom, so you ended up with an accident in your pants and you ended up having to use that bathroom anyway,” I point out, “Instead of just one unpleasant toilet experience, you turned it into two – actually, three if you count the punishment that you’re about to get.” “Yes sir, I understand the irony,” she says. “I would call that poetic justice,” I comment to the junior who is one of our very best English students.

For the accident in Saturday Detention (her second of the year), she gets 2 days detention and must write 200 times, “I will not soil my panties in school again.” There is clearly no reason to be that severe as her detention supervisor suggested. For her accident in gym class (her third of the year), I give her 3 days detention and 300 times. “So that’s 500 times and 5 days in detention for 2 accidents?” she asks, “That’s not so bad, I guess.” “Do it again and you’ll get 500 times and 5 days detention for a single accident,” I warn her.

The next matter schedule before the TVPC today is a report from a special investigator hired by the TVPC. It seems that well over a month ago, one of our Science teachers found a pair of very heavily soiled panties hidden behind a toilet in the Science Wing girls’ room. Initially, Miss Robinson, a young and lovely Science teacher, accused Nancy, a tall, slender brunette (and a FIGURE SKATING champion) not only of hiding the soiled panties there but messing in them in the first place. The accusation against Nancy came about largely because Nancy’s name was stitched into the panties. As the TVPC heard the case, however, it become apparent that though the panties were indeed Nancy’s (she readily admitted to such), she wasn’t the one who messed in them and hid them behind the toilet. Those panties had previously been stolen from Nancy’s gym locker and it was someone else (probably the person who stole them) that messed in them and then hid them there. Though we weren’t sure why someone would pull such a disgusting stunt, the speculation was that somebody did all that with the intent that Nancy would get blamed for it and she would consequently get placed on toilet suspension.

The TVPC immediately launched a full-scale investigation to find out not only who would do such a thing but why they did it. Mrs. Johns is undoubtedly our best investigator and this being such a serious matter, she was immediately put in charge of the case. As the investigation went on, however, Mrs. Johns and the TVPC were left baffled as who the guilty party was. It did became quite apparent what the motive was – it was indeed someone wanting to get Nancy in trouble and placed on toilet suspension right before a big figure skating competition that was coming up – but we simply could not figure out who would hold such a grudge against Nancy. “Everybody likes me,” Nancy would tell us, “I can’t imagine who would want to get my in trouble – especially with a toilet suspension.”

Not being able to find the guilty party on our own, the TVPC hired a CSI investigator to come in and take over the case. It should be noted that Mrs. Johns vigorously opposed that decision as she still wanted more time to investigate the case herself. Today, appearing before the TVPC, is Miss Willows who was the head of the CSI team investigating this case. She is here to present her findings – most notably the identity of the guilty party in this case. As the very lovely Miss Willows, a tall blonde with supermodel good looks, gingerly steps to the podium, I cannot help but notice a bit of laughter in the gallery. Of course, I bang my gavel to restore order, but I am most disturbed to note that those laughing the loudest are Mrs. Johns and her close friend Miss Mars.

“I know that you wanted to continue this case yourself,” I tell Mrs. Johns, “But I really would expect better of you than to heckle the investigator we did hire.” “Well, I really would expect better of a CSI investigator than to mess in her panties during an investigation,” Mrs. Johns says laughing, “If she can’t use the toilet herself how do you expect her to enforce toilet rules on others?” Looking closer at the suddenly very embarrassed Miss Willows, it is indeed rather clear that she’s got a substantial bulge under her tight fighting slacks – Quite clearly the result of a major bowel movement in her panties. Though the outright gorgeous Miss Willows is quite a site standing there with a mess in her panties (and the TVPC is understandably shocked at seeing this), there still is no reason for those kinds of comments from Mrs. Johns. “We don’t tolerate one of our students teasing someone over soiled panties,” I remind her, “And we certainly shouldn’t tolerate it from one of our teachers, either.” She nods her head acknowledging what I told her, but she still has a smug smile on her face, no doubt at the thought that the investigator that we hired to replace her, embarrassed herself rather badly with a mess in her panties. And young Miss Mars, her close friend and also an enthusiastic supporter of the TVPC, echoes that smugness.

“I’m really sorry about the accident,” Miss Willows explains, very embarrassed. “It was just after I ate lunch and I was finishing up my report,” she says, “I guess I just waiting a little too long in getting to the bathroom and it just happened.” “I must say I’m a little surprised at this development,” I tell the CSI investigator, “Of course, I deal with girls having accidents all the time, but it isn’t often we see such a thing from teachers or other TVPC personnel.” “I really think that you should have gone to the bathroom when you needed to,” I tell her, “I think the report could have waited a few minutes until you finished your business there.” “Yes, Mr. Chairman,” she acknowledges, no doubt wishing that she had followed that advice earlier this afternoon. “Fortunately for you, the TVPC does NOT have the power to punish teachers for toilet violations and we certainly have no authority over you in that regard,” I inform her, “But hopefully you’ve learned an important lesson about getting to the toilet when you need to.”

Getting back to the matter at hand – specifically her report on the soiled panties hidden behind the toilet – I have some more bad news for the Miss Willows. “It seems that you didn’t have to rush your report after all,” I tell her and note for the record, “It seems that the girl you are accusing in your report is absent today.” “In fact, the girl has been suspended from school for fighting and lying to the Principal,” I tell Miss Willows, “So since we can’t decide her case today, we might as well postpone your report so that we can do the whole case in one session.”

Looking over our calendar with the school year rapidly winding down, the TVPC has a concern. “The girl might not even be back from suspension this school year,” notes Mrs. Karboppel, a member of the TVPC, “And this case is already almost 2 months old -- I certainly think we want to dispose of this case as soon as possible.” After much discussion the TVPC votes 5-0 to schedule a SPECIAL SESSION of the TVPC to hear this case. That way we don’t have to wait until the accused comes back to school in order to hear the case. I ask Miss Willows if she is amenable to that and she agrees.

As the lovely CSI investigator turns to leave, she shoots a nasty look to Mrs. Johns and Miss Mars. “I wouldn’t talk about messing in panties if I were you two,” she whispers to them.

Our next case is Krystal, a pretty, athletic and outspoken senior, and she is charged with “Using the Girls’ Room While on Toilet Suspension”. The accusation against her comes from Miss Mars, one of our gym teachers. Under TVPC regulations, girls on toilet suspension are not permitted to use (or even enter) any school bathrooms for any reason. Violating a toilet suspension, as Krystal is accused of, is a serious offense requiring a minimum of two additional weeks on toilet suspension as well as a mandatory 1,000 sentences to write.

“The faculty bathroom in the gym office is being repainted today,” Miss Mars tells us, “So I went to use the girls’ room around by the gym.” “Just as I was walking in, I see Krystal coming out of a stall and heading over to wash her hands,” she explains, “And I saw the red wristband she was wearing.” Girls who are on toilet suspension have to wear a distinctive TVPC red wristband – like those that you have to wear in the hospital and can’t take off – so we know who is on toilet suspension and who is allowed in the girls’ rooms. “So obviously, I wrote her up for the violation,” the gym teacher adds.

But just as I’m about to turn to Krystal and lecture her, a check of TVPC records reveals something interesting. Her sentence on toilet suspension was 2 weeks – a punishment for her second offense of smoking in the girls’ room – and it appears to have ended yesterday. “According to my records your last day on toilet suspension was yesterday – you have your toilet privileges back today,” I tell her. “Yes sir, it was all over yesterday, thankfully,” she answers, “I tried to tell Miss Mars that but she wrote me up for the violation anyway. The senior readily admits that she used the girls’ room just as the gym teacher says but she has, of course, pleaded “Not Guilty” to violating a toilet suspension. ”I’m just not on toilet suspension, anymore,” Krystal says in her defense. “I saw her in the girls’ room with the red wristband on – That’s why I wrote her up,” Miss Mars explains, “What was she doing with the wristband still on if she wasn’t still on toilet suspension.”

“When you come off of toilet suspension, you’re supposed to go to the office and have them cut the wristband off,” I tell her, “What were you doing with the wristband still on during 3rd period? “I had a dentist appointment this morning and didn’t get to school until 3rd period,” she explains, “I was coming in through the gym entrance and I had to pee – err, I mean I had to urinate.” “I had to go so I just went into the girls’ room there and did it,” she continues, “I just hadn’t gone to the office yet to get it taken off.” “Please – You can’t punish me just for this,” she pleads, “I was already off of toilet suspension – I already had my toilet privileges back before I went into the girls’ room.” She pleads not to be put back on toilet suspension, explaining how bad it was for her to be on toilet suspension for these two weeks. “I have a smallish bladder and I have to pee at school a lot – err, I mean I have to urinate a lot,” she says, “I wet my pants everyday for those two weeks and on some of those days, I wet more than once.” “If that was the only thing you did in your pants on toilet suspension, you were pretty lucky,” I tell her. “No sir, -- I did the other thing in my pants a few times, too,” she explains, “It’s just that it didn’t happen every day like with having to um – urinate.”

Getting back to the case at hand, I find her “Not Guilty” of the charge and send her on her way. “Enjoy having your toilet privileges back,” I tell her, “Let’s hope that you don’t do anything to get them taken away again.” “You don’t have to worry about that, sir,” she tells me beaming a big smile, “You don’t know how good it feels just to be able to go use the toilet when you need to after not being allowed to for 2 whole weeks.”

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

For our next case – our next 2 cases actually – we have a visit from our school physician Dr. Cuddy. It is a rare pleasure indeed to see the very lovely and very well-endowed Lisa Cuddy. It isn’t often that we have a doctor in the HOUSE at a TVPC meeting. The doctor was in school today to conduct pre-season physicals for those playing school sports next fall. In conducting those physicals, the good (looking) doctor made 2 unpleasant discoveries in the panties of 2 members of our GIRLS GYMNASTICS team – both juniors. Nadia, a cute brunette with a million-dollar smile, and Nastia, a tall, slender, well-endowed beauty, have each been charged with panty-soiling – the soiled panties discovered by Dr. Cuddy as they girls undressed for their physicals.

“Good afternoon, Dr. Cuddy,” I welcome her to the TVPC, “I’m sorry you had to see that – When you conduct physicals for girls in high school, you shouldn’t have to deal with messy panties.” “It does happen sometimes I guess,” the very lovely Dr. Cuddy says, “It’s just something that I didn’t expect to see when conducting the physicals.” “Accidents may indeed happen sometimes, but that certainly doesn’t excuse them,” I tell her, “You can rest assured that these girls will be punished.” In fact, Mrs. Crabtree, a member of the TVPC raises an important issue. She questions whether these should be considered not a regular panty-soiling accident, but one while representing the school. Obviously, it didn’t happen at a gymnastics meet with another school, but it is very much athletic-related,” she points out, “And obviously it’s quite an embarrassment to the school to have 2 of our girls – girls who represent the school on the GYMNASTICS team – mess in their panties in front of the school doctor.” For those that don’t know, toilet violations (especially accidents), by athletes, cheerleaders and others representing the school are considered more serious than those occurring during the regular school day.

Mrs. Crabtree makes an interesting argument, but a careful check of school toilet rules contradicts that. “It has to be at some sort of competition or band performance or something like that,” I point out, “This is kind of like an accident at an athletic PRACTICE and we don’t give extra punishment for that.” “But I certainly will take into consideration that they did embarrass the school in front of the doctor,” I point out, “And that will be reflected in their punishments.”

“She said it was OK – She said that accidents happen sometimes,” Nastia points out, “Dr. Cuddy didn’t say that she was bothered by it and that we embarrassed the school.” “I know we have to be punished for soiling our panties,” she argues, “But there is no reason that we should be punished worse than regular.” “I didn’t say it was OK – I didn’t say that all,” the good doctor clarifies, “And I certainly didn’t say that I wasn’t bothered by it.” “I think messing in your panties is totally disgusting,” she points out, “Especially when it’s like the kind of accident you had.” “Obviously, I’d prefer not to have to do a physical exam on a girl that’s got a load in her panties,” Dr. Cuddy adds, “And obviously at your age you shouldn’t be doing loads in your panties – especially at school.” “And it’s a pretty sorry state of affairs that you can’t even keep your panties clean on a day when you know you have a physical,” I add, “You know you had to take your pants down for the physical but still you went in your panties instead of the toilet.”

Moving on to the details of each girl’s messing accident, I turn to Dr. Cuddy again. “Nadia’s mess isn’t all that bad,” she points out, “Hers is just a big dark streak mark down the center of her panties.” “It kind of looks like a little bit come out before she got to the toilet,” she adds, “She probably did do most of it in the toilet, but at her age I don’t think MOST OF IT should be good enough.” “Nastia’s, on the other hand, is a really bad mess,” Dr. Cuddy continues, “She’s got quite a load in those panties of hers.” “Obviously, she didn’t go to the girls’ room at all – at least not to the toilet,” the doctor adds, “Obviously, she did her full bowel movement in her panties.”

Turning to Nadia, I ask her – “Is that what happened? – Did you just not quite make it to the toilet in time?” She nods her head “yes.” “I did do most of it in the toilet,” she acknowledges, “It’s just that I waited too long before I went.” She explains that she was trying to hold it in until 5th period when she had a class on the second floor so she could use the girls’ room on the second floor. “The mess started during 4th period when I was trying to hold it in,” she clarifies, “I was trying to not have to use the girls’ room in the main corridor across form my 4th period class.” “I really don’t like the girls’ room there because it gets used so much,” Nadia adds, “But I ended up having to run in there anyway when it just started coming out and I didn’t want the mess to be even worse.” “You’re on the GYMNASTICS team,” I remind her, “Doesn’t that mean having to use the toilets in locker rooms sometimes?” “Yes, sir – I do have to use them sometimes,” she answers, “They usually aren’t very nice and you can’t get much privacy in there,” she responds, “But f I can’t hold it in, I just have to use whatever toilets are available.” “But this time I really thought that I could hold it in and wait for a better bathroom,” she explains, “The girls’ room up on the second floor really is nice and it’s worth waiting for if you can.” “Obviously, I shouldn’t have try to wait that long, though,” she adds, bowing her head in shame.

“And you, young lady, you just didn’t bother going to the girls’ room at all,” I ask Nastia, “You just did the whole thing in your panties.” She just nods her head, probably thinking it best not to make any more comments trying to debate or even mitigate her shameful accidents. She’s wearing red spandex shorts that are uncompromisingly tight. They display an enormous bulge in the seat indicating that she’s obviously got quite a load in there. I actually didn’t think a gymnast would even eat enough to produce a load in her panties like that, but seeing is believing.

Each girl has 2 previous soiling accidents – including 1 each while representing the school at a gymnastics meet last fall. That offense while representing the school was, of course, the most serious. But I’m taking this one quite seriously as well. Nadia also has a prior for flushing a sanitary napkin and Nastia one offense for using a teachers’ bathroom and clogging the toilet in the process. Again, what could a gymnast eat to cause a bowel movement big enough to clog one of our toilets.

I sentence Nadia to write Dr. Cuddy a 1,000 word letter of apology and to also write 500 times, “I will not soil my panties in school again.” She’ll also have to serve a week in detention. “I’ve taken into consideration that at least you did part of your bowel movement in the toilet,” I tell her, “But obviously you need to learn to do all of it there.” “I hope you’ll think about all this punishment that you’ve gotten for yourself just for waiting a little too long to use the toilet,” I add. I sentence Nastia to also write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 500 times – but half of these are to be written on the blackboard after school. She will also write Dr. Cuddy an apology but hers is going to be 2,000 words and her week of detention will be spent sitting on the toilet in the girls’ locker room. Nastia starts to complain about her punishment but then thinks better of it. “You should consider yourself lucky that this wasn’t considered an accident while representing the school,” Mrs. Crabtree points out, “This is nothing compared to what you’d be getting for that – especially considering that it would be a second offense on that account.

Both girls will also have their mandatory toilet visits extended. That is, as a result of the accident they each had at gymnastic meet last season, the girls had to make mandatory toilet visits several times (like before getting on the bus to go there, before the meet started, and before getting on the bus to come home) for each gymnastics meet. “You will be doing the same for the entire gymnastics season next fall,” I tell them. Nastia lets out an audible groan, but wisely keeps her mouth shut.

In closing, I apologize again to Dr. Cuddy for having to do physicals on girls in soiled panties and I thank her for her diligence in bringing these matters to the attention of the TVPC.

Next, we have a case involving Tinsley, a cheerleader known about as much for her foul mouth as her supermodel good looks. You have to wonder how she manages to get her beauty sleep when she’s so often staying up late to finish the copious amounts of punishment sentences she often has to write for temper outbursts. Once again, it seems that her temper has gotten the better of her as she is charged with “Using Profanity to Refer to her Bodily Functions” as well as “Leaving Class without Permission to Use the Girls’ Room.”

“It wasn’t a class, it was a study hall,” Tinsley chimes right in. “We’re supposed to be allowed to go to the girls’ room during study halls,” she argues. “That’s it!” I warn her, in no uncertain terms, “I’m not going to tolerate any outbursts from you and this is your final warning.” I then have the TVPC clerk hand Tinsley a long stick of chalk. “Just in case,” I tell Tinsley as I point to a blackboard in the back of the room – A not so subtle implication that she’ll find herself at the blackboard writing sentences if she can’t control her mouth.

The ruckus today apparently occurred during Tinsley’s 4th period study hall. “I was filling in as the study hall teacher for Miss Ledgersmith who went home sick,” reports Miss Bliss, a History teacher, “And Tinsley was a problem right from the start.” “It wasn’t 10 minutes into the period when I had to give her a writing punishment,” she explains, “I assigned her to write 100 times, “I will not get out of my seat in study hall.” “That was your first mistake,” I tell the teacher, “You should have made it 500 times – Tinsley’s already done so many writing assignments that I doubt 100 times will even faze her.” “Right after that Tinsley tells me that she has to go to the girls’ room,” Miss Bliss continues, “And I tell her that I’ll put her name on the list for a pass but a few girls are ahead of her.” “I don’t know how Miss Ledgersmith runs her study hall, but with me they sign up for the girls’ room pass and they go one at a time,” she adds. “Naturally, Tinsley starts to complain, but I tell her that she’s just going to have to wait,” she continues her report, “But then she gets up and starts to leave anyway.” “Of course, I asked her where she was going,” she tells us, “And that’s when Tinsley turns around and says, ‘I’m going to take a shit, O.K?’” “I told her it was NOT O.K. and that she had to sit back down,” Miss Bliss continues, “But she just kept right on going and went to the girls’ room anyway.” “You know that I’m not a tough teacher when it comes to giving out bathroom passes,” she adds, “I really am sympathetic when a girl tells me that she has to go – All I was asking was for Tinsley to wait her turn.”

“I’m fully aware of that Miss Bliss,” I tell the kindly teacher, “And that fact will certainly be reflected in Tinsley’s punishment.” Once again warning the gorgeous cheerleader of the consequences for foul language (those being hours writing sentences at the blackboard), I ask her if she’d like to explain herself. She just shakes her head “no” and perhaps that’s for the best. Asking her if she denies anything that Miss Bliss said, she once again shakes her head “no.” Asking Miss Bliss is she has any doubts that Tinsley did indeed use the girls’ room when she left the study hall, she also shakes her head “no”. “She was back in a little less than 5 minutes,” the History teacher and study hall monitor explains, “I assume that she did go to the girls’ room and that she did what she said she had to do.”

“But obviously she shouldn’t have said it like that,” I point out, “And this isn’t the first time that Tinsley has used that particular word to refer to her bowel movements.” “You never seem to learn, do you Tinsley?” I tell her, “This time, you’ll write the phrase ‘Bowel Movement’ 2,500 times – Let’s hope that you can get it right after that.” As for her leaving class without permission (and a study hall counts the same as a class in this regard, in case you’re wondering), that’s a harder punishment to decide. For Tinsley, it’s only a first offense on that charge and I don’t normally impose a toilet suspension until it’s a second such offense. But given this girl’s attitude and her sense of entitlement that she may indeed go the girls’ room whenever she wishes, I think I have to send a message. If she had just quietly or apologetically left the room (as other girls who have faced the TVPC on this charge had done), I’d be satisfied with detention and writing punishment. But her openly belligerent and disrespectful attitude toward a teacher cannot be tolerated.

“I’m putting you on toilet suspension for 1 week,” I tell her and note for the record. “You’ll not be allowed to use any school bathroom for any reason,” I explain, “For 1 week, you’ll just have to do without and you can thank you nasty attitude for that.” I give it a moment to sink in and what follows is a noticeable change in Tinsley’s demeanor. Suddenly and uncharacteristically she is at a loss for words. She mumbles and shakes her head but suddenly she can’t form any words. Obviously, she is one who uses school toilets on a regular basis and, with after-school activities, probably more than most girls. She starts to panic as she contemplates what it will be like to be without her privileges to use school toilets.

“It’s one week – It will be rough, but you will get through it,” I tell the usually arrogant and oftentimes foul-mouthed cheerleader as she cries into her hands, “Don’t make the mistake of sneaking into the girls’ room and getting the toilet suspension extended.” I also sentence her to write 500 times “I will not leave class without permission to go to the girls’ room again” but given the severity of a toilet suspension, I’ll spare her any detention. For a Tinsley, it seemed only a matter of time before she got hit with a toilet suspension – Let’s just hope she follows the rules and only has to be on it for a week.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

For our next case, we have a visit from Miss McMurphy, our school nurse. “How is it going, Colleen?” I ask her, “Did you catch another one today.” “Unfortunately, Yes, Mr. Chairman,” she answers, “You know that I feel sorry for the girls but you also know that I can’t just let anyone use the bathroom in my office.” Nodding my head, it’s a situation that the TVPC is very familiar with. Within the nurse’s office, there is a bathroom – a nice, private bathroom for a single user at a time just like a bathroom in someone’s house. The girls just love the privacy in that bathroom but it’s only there in the nurse’s office for girls who get sick. As Miss McMurphy said, it’s not just there for anyone to use – it’s only available for students who need it while legitimately in the nurse’s office. When other girls try to use that bathroom – some fake illness so that they can get sent to the nurse’s office while others just sneak in there when they think that no one is paying attention – they usually wind up before the TVPC to receive the appropriate punishment.

The accused today is Claudia – a shy and quiet freshman. This likeable young lady is quite familiar to the TVPC having appeared before us for several panty soiling violations – including a particularly serious one she had at the school’s holiday concert while representing the school as the featured violinist in the school stage band. After all the accidents she’s had in her pants this year, I’m certainly happy to see her using the toilet, but I certainly can’t excuse her using the nurse’s bathroom instead of the regular girls’ room. “She snuck in there during 3rd period this morning,” Miss McMurphy reports, “And she did a bowel movement in there.” Her report also makes it clear that Claudia did use the toilet properly. “She defecated, wiped herself, and then flushed the toilet,” the Violation Report states – it’s just that she had no business being in that particular bathroom in the first place.

“I’m certainly disappointed to see you here again, Claudia,” I tell the sweet, likeable freshman, “I’m sure you know where your bowel movements belong and you know that it’s not in the nurse’s office.” “Yes, sir,” Claudia acknowledges, “It’s just that the bathroom there is so nice – it’s always clean and the privacy it has makes it so comfortable to go to the bathroom there.” “It’s just so much nicer than regular girls’ room,” she adds, “It’s not like going to the bathroom at school at all – Its’ almost as nice as going to the bathroom at home.” “But you ARE at school and when you’re at school you have to use the girls’ room,” I explain, “You know very well that your bodily functions belong in the girls’ room – They don’t belong in the nurse’s office anymore than they belong in your pants.” “That’s just it, sir – I’ve been trying really hard not to go in my pants anymore,” she tells us, her eyes welling up with tears, “I really hate how it feels having those big loads in my pants and I certainly hate having to get punished for it all the time.” “I had to go really bad this morning and I was really desperate for a place to do it,” she continues, “I really didn’t want to go in my pants – I just didn’t want to mess in my panties again.”

“I understand that and you’ve been doing really well at that,” I point out, “I know you had your 5th soiling accident in school back on March 2nd,” I add, “But you should be proud of the fact that you haven’t had an accident in school in 3 ˝ months.” The crux of the matter, of course, is not that she hasn’t gone in her pants, but why she used the nurse’s office bathroom instead of the regular girls’ room. “You’ve obviously been using the toilet in school if you’ve gone almost 4 months without an accident,” I reason, “And I know that you haven’t done all of them in the nurse’s office – you’ve obviously done it in the girls’ room before.”

The poor girl goes on to explain that she has used the regular girls’ room a lot for her bowel movements. In fact, she has a regular routine where she meets her sister Julia in the girls’ room during their 6th period lunch. “We both go to the bathroom during lunch every day,” she points out, “Julia stands guard for me so I can go #2 if I need to.” “I’ve been doing that in the toilet in the girls’ room with Julia a lot,” Claudia adds “I like how if feels to go in the toilet instead of my pants.” “But today I had to go right during 1st period and I had to go really bad by 2nd period,” she explains, “I knew that I couldn’t wait until lunchtime to go with my sister.” “I know that I should have just gone to the girls’ room, but I just didn’t want to go in there myself for a #2,” she acknowledges, “I just don’t like going #2 in public bathrooms like that.” “I was just really desperate to find a place to go – I was just really desperate not to go in my panties again,” she pleads crying, “I needed a place to go and I knew the nurse’s bathroom was there and that it was really private.” “It’s just so nice to go to the bathroom in there – Especially when it’s #2,” she pleads further, “If I only had to pee I wouldn’t have minded the regular girls’ room so much, but that bathroom in the nurse’s office is just so much nicer when you have to go #2.”

I certainly do understand her situation and I can sympathize, but I have to enforce the rules. But just as I’m about to tell the toilet troubled freshman all that, I notice something on the girl’s rather lengthy toilet record. “This is your 3rd offense on this particular charge?” I ask her, “This is the 3rd time this school year that you’ve been caught using the nurse’s bathroom?” “Yes, sir,” Claudia answers, tears streaming down her face, “I’m sorry.”

Claudia, with all her experience appearing before the TVPC, must know that that is bad news for her, but I doubt she fully grasps exactly how bad it is. “A 3rd offense is really bad for you, Claudia,” I tell her, “It leaves me no choice but to immediately place you on toilet suspension.” “Oh! No!! – Please not that!!” the poor girl shrieks at hearing the bad news, “Please not a toilet suspension – Please just not that – There’s got to be some other way to punish me – PLEASE!” “Please, it was just that I was trying not to go in my panties when I use the nurse’s bathroom,” she pleads further, approaching incoherence as the tears freely flow, “Now you’re going to make me go in my panties – I just don’t want to go in my panties anymore.” The poor girl is no doubt a sympathetic case but I must remain firm in sentencing her. She can consider herself lucky that she didn’t get a toilet suspension the last time (her 2nd offense) she did this – a toilet suspension of up to 1 week being a punishment option under the rules. But for a 3rd offense, a toilet suspension for at least 2 weeks is mandatory – a toilet suspension of a up to an entire month is an option.

Now in a state of near panic, she pleads further – citing the improvement in toilet habits and how she only did this because she didn’t want to go in her pants in the first place – that she be spared this dreaded punishment. “That bathroom is just so nice – I just wanted to go #2 in there,” she tells me, between her sobbing, “I didn’t need it to just pee but I just wanted to go #2 in there.” Finally, I must bang my gavel to stop her. “I’m sorry, Claudia, but you had more than ample warning that the nurse’s bathroom was off limits to you unless you were sick,” I explain, “And you obviously didn’t learn your lesson the first 2 times you were caught.” “You’re going on toilet suspension for 2 weeks,” I tell her and note for the record, “And you can consider yourself lucky again that you’re going on toilet suspension longer.

As bad as a toilet suspension is, I still have to consider that 2 weeks of it is only the minimum punishment for her offense. Accordingly, I also sentence her to write 1,000 times, “I must learn that the nurse’s office bathroom is only for students who are sick.” And she’ll also be required to clean the nurse’s office bathroom twice a day – once during her study hall period and again after school – for a month. The latter punishment, of course, will extend well into the next school year as will a few days of her toilet suspension. “Mr. Chairman? -- I already having a girl cleaning my bathroom after school for the rest of this school year,” Miss McMurphy points out, “That was the punishment that Tiffany got 2 weeks ago on her second offense of using my bathroom.” “Fine – Claudia can wait and do all her toilet cleaning punishment when school starts in September,” I acknowledge and note for the record, “But her writing punishment is still due in 1 week and her toilet suspension will begin immediately.”

The poor girl is just standing there crying into her hands, as a TVPC staffer puts the dreaded red wristband on her wrist. The red wristband, of course, identifies a girl on toilet suspension.

For the second day in a row, Charlene, a petite red-haired freshman with braces, is called before the TVPC. Yesterday, it was for messing in her panties and today she was caught urinating ON rather than IN the toilet. Actually, according to the Violations Report, she did get most of it IN the toilet – it’s just that she got some of it on the rim of the toilet, too. And then from the rim of the toilet, it was apparently running down the outside of the bowl and onto the floor.

“I don’t think that she did it on purpose,” Miss Spellman, a math teacher and ace restroom monitor tells us, “She was squatting over the toilet and I just think she had really bad aim – really, really, really bad aim!” That’s an important distinction because intentionally urinating ON the toilet itself or other inappropriate place is grounds for an automatic toilet suspension. Doing it accidentally is, of course, treated less severely. Also in her favor is the fact that she lifted up the toilet seat before she squatted down over the toilet and the fact that she grabbed some toilet paper and tried to mop up after herself. TVPC rules do allow girls to urinate (or defecate) from a squatting position, but only if they lift up the toilet seat first. This is, of course, so the toilet seats don’t get wet or soiled. Trying to mop up what she did show consideration for others who have to use the toilet after her.

“Miss Spellman is right – I’m not very good at squatting,” Charlene explains, “That’s why I always sit – even if the toilet seat isn’t the cleanest.” “It’s just that I couldn’t sit this time,” she tells us, “My butt just hurt too much to sit down.” She goes on to explain that when she got home with her panty soiling mess yesterday, her mom was waiting for her and she was not happy. “My mom gets really upset about stuff like that and this was the second time since school started,” she continues, “After she made me clean it all up, she threatened to put me in diapers.” “And then,” she concludes, as the tears start to fall, “Mom took a paddle and gave me a really bad spanking.” Pointing to a cushion on her chair, she goes on to explain that she’s been sitting on that all day, but that doesn’t help her in the bathroom. “It just hurts too much to sit all the way down on the toilet today,” she adds as the tears of shame flow.

“I can’t do anything about your mother’s punishment but you’re probably not in as much trouble with us as you think,” I tell her sympathetically, “We understand that it was all just an accident and now we understand why it happened.” “I’m surprised you got in so much trouble at home for only 2 accidents,” I tell her, “A lot of girls here have done it a whole lot more times than that.” “Mom says that there’s no excuse for it to even happen at all,” Charlene explains, drying her eyes, perhaps at hearing a sympathetic voice, “She says twice is an utter disgrace and she’s going to make me wear diapers for a month if I do it again.”

I feel sorry for her. The TVPC is known for being tough on toilet offenders and issuing tough punishments, but her mother seems downright cruel. I sincerely hope that her mother isn’t going to punish her for this as well. I sentence her to 1 hour of detention and to write “I must learn to urinate IN the toilet” 100 times.

So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 3:52 PM.

[spandexman]

Looks like Mrs Johns time is coming.

I have a feeling Miss Willows will expose Mrs. Johns soon. Nice report as always. Thanks.