Hilarious story on The Toilet

[AccidentalTourist]

I had to copy/paste this in its entirety, it is a classic.


Just my luck
by "amy"

Well i have ibs-d (if you eat some foods it feels like your stomachs gonna explode, and it does in a way. If you get what I'm saying.)

Anyways this happened to me a long time ago.

I was at a abandoned barn house doing some demolition for money/a date(it was cooler then it sounds.) with my wife(in my books) which was only my girl Friend at the time. We were taking a half way break at the time this sequence of events happened.

Well she decides to make some curry, which upsets my stomach, for lunch, and me being so timid doesn't say a word. So we eat it she ask "Does your food smell funny?" I say no because i thought it may of been me.

Well i decide to screw around a little, and try to impress her with a sword form. So i go into the chicken coop which had rickety floors so you'd fall threw unless you were light on your feet. So i show her, and half way threw the second form my stomach starts to hurt, and i continue until the end, which by then i had to use the bathroom so bad it showed on my face so she just said "Go behind the barn." Well i ran accidental letting a bit of diarrhea out as i ran into my panties/jeans to a bush behind the barn were i pulled down my pants, and just had diarrhea so bad i couldn't stop. It just hurt so much coming in gassy stinky messy waves, and as a looked up there was a mommy and baby skunks that came out of the coop from me shaking it, and i tried to hold it squat still to not scare them. Well the tactic failed as i held it for about three minutes, though the skunks only got closer, and holding it in only made the diarrhea worse until i finally couldn't hold it anymore and started letting out small burst, and the rest is to pain full/embarrassing to describe, but i was falling in my own waste with the pain of being skunked to say the least.

Well in the end my angle got her revolver out and saved me, but that officially was the worst thing ever. Especially since my gf was so disgusted she threw up trying to help me up.

[Adrian6970]

Very good. Another recent story at The Toilet by a lady called Nicola appealed particularly to me. I hope she won't mind if I reproduce it here:

"Nicola - Desperate after 4 days holding it
I hadn't pood for 4 days untill this evening. I was leaving work to go home and was getting quite desperate but I didn't want to block up the works toilet with a massive poo so I decided to wait untill I got home. I got on the bus and took a seat at the back almost losing control on the way. As soon as the bus began to move I felt a powerfull urge to push but resisted it by clenching hard. I had to use all my strength to hold it as the pressure in my bowels seamed determined to push the monster turd into my knickers. It was a reall struggle but somehow I managed to make it untill I got to my stop and got off the bus. I felt another urge to push and this time it was much more powerfull than the last. I had to clench harder than ever against the growing pressure. I started walking home and felt more pressure building with every step. I had to stop while I regained control but as soon as I started to walk again the urge to go got even worse. I knew I was in trouble and with 600 yards to walk my house I didn't think I could make it. My bowels hurt and I was sweating from all the effort of clenching for so long. I thought if I could just relax for a moment It would ease the pain but of course my bowels let go without my control and a turd poked out of my bum touching the seat of my knickers. I tried to clench but it but the turd broke off and landed in my knickers. It wasn't very big and it was a hard dry poo so not too messy and with less pressure I was able to walk home without any more misshaps. Once inside I went up to the loo but knew it would probably block it so I didn't use it. Instead I went to the kitchen and got a black dustbin bag and took off my jeans and knickers and held it up to my bum while I pushed a huge poo out. It was such a relief and it must have weighed about 4 pounds. It tipped the poo from my knickers into the bag adding another half a pound and tied the top of the bag up. My knickers went in the wash and I got rid of the bin bag and wiped in the bathroom."

[Adrian6970]

I've spotted another story from Nicola at The Toilet which I rather liked. Here it is

Nicola


Big relief after shopping
The last time I had a poo was on Thursday and by this morning (Sunday) I was bustsing to go. I love that feeling and knew I could hold on a little longer, so I did some shopping. While I was walking round the supermarket I felt the need to poo getting stronger and had a slight aching in my bowels. Not that I minded, as it's all part of the pleasure for me. By the time I got to the checkout I realy had to go and had to clench to keep it in. It felt great to be holding it in such a public place especialy as there was a risk I might not make it home in time. I could have used the customer toilets but why spoil the fun? I paid for my shopping and went over to the courtesy phone to call a taxi to take me home as I had a lot of bags. I waited for the taxi with a huge load pressing on my anus and it was hard work clenching for so long. By the time the taxi arrived I was getting realy desperate and was worried about having an accident. I got in the car after loading my shopping in the boot and spent the whole journey home clenching for dear life. When I got home I was so desperate I could hardly move and had to get out of the car very carefully. I paid the fare and took my shopping out of the boot almost losing control as I lifted one of the heavier bags. I don't know how I got into my house without pooing myself but I somehow managed it. I closed the front door and left the bags in the hallway while I slowly and carefully made my way up to the bathroom. Once I got there I ripped my jeans down and sat on the toilet a fraction of a second later. I relaxed and felt the most amazing relief. Then I felt a warm stickyness around my bum as, you guessed it. I'd forgotten to pull my knickers down! It felt so nice so I kept going. And going. And going. The poo began to come out of the leg holes and it went all up my back I pood so much. Once I was done I got in the shower with my knickers still on. I say on but they were so full of poo the weight of it was pulling them down to my thighs! I let them slide down to my ankles and stepped out of them. My legs were now streaked with poo and the cleanup took some work. I had the throw my knickers away as there was on way they could be washed.

[Curious]

This last tale reminds me of an accidnet that happened to me many years ago.
I had to move an open boat some distance in cold weather, so I wrapped up warm and duly set off. The trip was likely to take about four hours, but I did not think I would need any relief during the journey. However, how wrong I was!
After about two hours I began to feel the need, but there was no way that I could do anything about it until I had reached my destination. A pee over the side might have been possible, but I could not leave the tiller for the amount of time required for a poop, nor stop the boat.
By the time journey's end was in sight I was desperate and just about "touching cloth". I tied up and shot off to the nearby toilet like a jack rabbit, loosing off my belt, overalls and trousers as I did so. I dropped everything, as I thought, and thankfully sat down on the seat and let everything go, only to be met with an odd sensation. I was so thoroughly chilled that I had forgotten that I had put on two pairs of briefs under my trousers and overalls and had only pulled one pair down. I competely messed and wet my pants in the toilet after holding on for nearly two hours.
I cleaned up as best I could and then had the problem of extricating myself from all my cold weather gear before I could get my filled pants off. I forget what I did with them, I think I must have dumped them in the bin, for they were beyond redemption.