Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of January 10, 2012.

The first case for the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) this afternoon is that of Jennifer Moseley – or “Moze” for short. She is a tall and very beautiful junior and it is quite a surprise to see that she’s charged with messing in her panties. The friendly and likeable Moze looks very embarrassed as she takes the podium and stands before us with a load in her pants – her first accident of any kind in her school career.

“What happened, Moze?” I ask her. “Accidents can happen and it’s only your first one, so you shouldn’t feel that bad about it,” I point out, “But I’m still surprised to see it happen to you.” “You’ve never been shy about going in school when you have to,” I tell her, “You’re always so diligent about getting to the girls’ room in time.” “Well, that’s just it, sir” she points out, “I’m not allowed to use the girls’ room these days – I’m on a punishment whereby I can only use the boys’ rooms.” I hope that fans or our TVPC read about and appreciate the great work done by our companion TVPC – the branch of the TVPC that not only punishes the boys for their toilet violations but also handles some of the cases for the girls. The very lovely and down to earth Jennifer was sent there back in late December for urinating in the boys’ room – obviously a violation of TVPC rules for a girl.

“There was a long line for the girls’ room and I had to go really bad,” she offered as an explanation for using the boys’ room that day, “Obviously, I didn’t want to wet my pants.” “I didn’t really think it was that big a deal,” she says, “I mean, they’re just toilets – there’s really no difference between a boys’ toilet and a girls’ toilet.” Obviously, though, it was a violation of TVPC rules and our companion TVPC quite properly sentenced Moze to a month of only being allowed to use the boys’ rooms. Still, I’m quite surprised to see her standing here in messy panties. “I wouldn’t think that would be a big deal for you,” I tell the tall and beautiful junior, “After all, you used the boys’ room voluntarily before – I wouldn’t think it would be all that bad for you to have to use it all the time for your punishment.” “Inconvenient perhaps,” I point out, “But hardly something that you’d mess your panties over.” “I didn’t think so at first either, sir,” Jennifer tells me, “I was actually pretty relieved when that was my only punishment.” “Having to go in the boys’ room for a month really didn’t seem like much of a punishment at all for me,” she continues, “As I said, a toilet is a toilet – what does it really matter which room the toilet is located in.”

Moze then pauses for a moment to gather her thoughts – apparently a bit embarrassed and not really sure how she’s going to explain the next part. “The only thing I ever did in the boys’ room before was pee – err, I mean urinate,” she explains, “That’s what wasn’t a big deal for me to do in the boys’ room.” “But I guess I’m a lot more private when it comes to #2,” she says, “When I suddenly found myself having to do that in the boys’ room, I just didn’t want to do it.” “I don’t really know what it is, but #2 is a lot different than #1,” she says, “I guess I only like doing that in the girls’ room.” “Actually, I don’t really like doing that in the girls’ room, either,” she adds, “Home is really where I want to be when I’m doing that.” “But doing it in the girls’ room isn’t so bad,” she explains, “Doing it in the boys’ room, though, was a different story – I’m just not comfortable with that.” She goes on to explain that she then just tried to hold it in – hoping to make it home or at least to a different bathroom – but pretty soon it all just come out in her panties. “I guess I just learned a lesson the hard way,” she points out, “The girls’ rooms are for the girls and the boys’ rooms are for the boys.”

Obviously, she’s correct. It’s her first accident, so her punishment today won’t be so bad. I sentence her to 1 day of detention and to write “I will not soil my panties in school again” 100 times. But she’s still got a while to go on her punishment of having to use the boys’ room. After what happened today, this concerns me. I ask her about that. “Unfortunately for you, using the boys’ room is still something you have to do,” I point out, “Hopefully, while you’re in school you’ll only have to urinate, but obviously you can’t count on that.” “The punishment does get worse the more times you mess in your panties,” I point out.

“There won’t be a next time,” Jennifer tells us, emphatically, “This is the last time I’ve ever going to mess in my panties – I promise you that.” “Next time I have to go, I’m definitely going to be doing it in the boys’ room,” she assures me, “I don’t care what it takes, I’m never going to mess in my panties again.” “I don’t care if I have to use the toilet in front of the whole school and that includes the boys,” she rambles on, “I’m just never going to mess in my panties again.” “I don’t know how girls can just go in their pants sometimes,” she says, “Nothing feels worse than having poop in your pants.” “I don’t know how girls can stand it walking around with poop in their pants,” she continues, “I just can’t wait until I get home and can change out of these panties and clean myself up.” “I don’t even care about the punishment, sir,” she tells me, “The worst thing is just the feeling of having the poop in your pants.”

With that vivid description, I guess I don’t have to worry about whether she’ll use the boys’ room next time – no matter what function she needs to do in there. Moze is then directed to the back of the room to serve her detention and probably get started on her punishment writing. She walks very slowly and gingerly – no doubt being careful not to spread that “poop” in her panties any worse than it is already.

Just as I’m about to call the next case, though, I am interrupted by a voice from the spectators section of the TVPC committee room. Mr. Kotter, a Social Studies teacher, requests to address the TVPC about the prior case. He is, of course, granted permission to do so. “Something’s just not right about that previous case,” he tells me, “It just doesn’t make any sense that Jennifer would mess in her pants today.” “I didn’t think so at first, either,” I tell him with a smile, “But you just heard her explain how she was only allowed to use the boys’ room and how she didn’t want to have a bowel movement in there.” “No, that’s not it, Mr. Chairman,” Mr. Kotter answers. He then goes on to explain that while he was serving as the hall monitor in the New Edition during 6th period this afternoon, he saw both Jennifer and her friend Ned enter the New Edition boys’ room. He tells us that when he went in there to check on them, Ned was stepping up to a urinal, and Jennifer was seating herself on a toilet in one of the stalls. “I thought it strange that the two of them went in there together and I thought it even stranger that Jennifer picked a stall where she had a perfect view of Ned at the urinal,” he tells us, in an uncharacteristic serious tone, “With her stall door open as she left it, she had a perfect view of Ned doing his business at the urinal.” “When Ned finished his business at the urinal, he next went into a stall,” Mr. Kotter further reports, “And he went into the stall right next to Jennifer’s stall, where she could certainly hear everything he was doing in his stall.” “In hindsight, I think that’s really strange,” he says.

“All the while it didn’t seem like Jennifer was doing anything in there on the toilet,” he continues, “Ned was doing his business in the stall and I’m sure Jennifer could hear it, but Jennifer hadn’t started her own business yet.” “I thought that maybe she was just shy about doing her own business with both Ned and I in the bathroom,” he theorizes, “So I just decided to leave for a while and give Jennifer her privacy.” Mr. Kotter goes on to tell us that he went back to checking the halls and didn’t return to the boys’ room until nearly 20 minutes later. “Ned was gone but Jennifer was still in there,” he reports, “She was still in there on the toilet but she seemed really flustered when I came in.” “It was like I interrupted her in the middle of something and I don’t think it was actually using the toilet,” he continues, “She quickly grabbed some toilet paper and wiped herself like she’d just gone, but I don’t think that was it.” “The toilet paper was clean and I could see that there was nothing in the toilet when she quickly flushed it,” he explains, “But Jennifer insisted that she had just done a #2 and it had taken a really long time.” “She said she had already flushed it down the toilet with most of her toilet paper,” he adds, “She said that she was just finishing up wiping herself and that was the last of the toilet paper she used.” “That’s what she said, but something about her story didn’t make sense at the time,” our Social Studies teacher points out, “And it makes even less sense now that she’s got a mess in her panties.”

Of course now I have to wonder, just as Mr. Kotter does, how Jennifer could have a substantial mess in her panties now, if she’d just done a big and messy bowel movement in the boys’ room less than 2 hours before. And I have to wonder why she just told me she was too uncomfortable to have a bowel movement in the boys’ room today, when she had previously told Mr. Kotter that she had just done one.

As I call Jennifer back to the podium, she has that unmistakable look of dread in her eyes and it isn’t just from the discomfort of walking with “poop” (as she would call it!) in her pants. “I want the truth, young lady,” I tell her, in no uncertain terms, “And I want you to understand what happens to girls who lie to the TVPC.” With that, I point to one of the blackboards in the back of the room. At it stands Denise, a quite attractive but altogether conceited senior, and on it she is writing, “I will not lie to the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee again.” “That’s 500 times that Denise is writing,” I point out to Jennifer, “When she finally finishes, we could always have you taking her place if you decide to lie right now.”

“I wasn’t lying before,” Jennifer finally states. “I really did have the accident in my panties because I didn’t want to do it in the boys’ room,” she explains, “But it’s like I said, I swear to you I’m never going to let that happen again.” Of course, that doesn’t really explain the question at hand. She hasn’t exactly explained – or even come anywhere close to explaining – what she was doing on the toilet for 20 minutes earlier today.

With that, Mrs. Buchman, Jennifer’s 6th period English teacher also requests permission to speak. “This all seems kind of strange to me a well,” she says. “First, Ned asks permission to go to the boys’ room,” she says, “And then immediately after that, Jennifer also asks permission to go.” “Jennifer said she really had an emergency and that if she didn’t go right then, she was going to mess in her panties,” Mrs. Buchman points out, “She’s a good student and usually doesn’t ask to go to the bathroom, so I didn’t think anything of it and just let her go.” “But it really does seem strange that she just suddenly had to go so bad right after her friend Ned asked to go,” the blonde haired English teacher reports, “And I didn’t even realize at the time that Jennifer was going to the boys’ room just like Ned.” “And it really seemed strange when Ned came back in about 5 minutes and Jennifer didn’t come back until the period was almost over,” she continues, “And she also told me that she was in there so long because she was going #2.” “But now that I see that she’s got a mess in her pants, it really doesn’t make any sense at all,” she adds, “I have to wonder what she was doing in the boys’ room so long when it obviously wasn’t moving her bowels as she said.”

The sense of panic on Jennifer’s face only increases at hearing that. “Actually, I’m pretty sure I know what Jennifer was doing in the boys’ room,” I tell Mr. Kotter and Mrs. Buchman, “I’m just waiting to hear it from her first.” “The jig is up, young lady,” I tell her. “The best thing you could do for yourself now is just tell the truth,” I explain, “The more honest you are, the less your punishment is going to be.” She is obviously very embarrassed (even more so than at messing her panties) and obviously it’s hard for her to find the words to tell me.

“I kind of have a crush on Ned,” she admits, “I don’t know but I just suddenly realized that with my boys’ room punishment and all, this was my chance to see him with his pants down.” “I was just going to watch him at the urinal and then go back to class,” Moze acknowledges, “But it was really hot to watch him and I got even hotter when I could hear him going #2 in the stall next to me.” “I didn’t really mean to take it as far as I did,” she admits, as she starts to cry, “I was just going to sneak a peak and then go back to class.” “But something just came over me and I got really worked up about it,” Jennifer explains, “And then when Ned left, I just stayed there and started to um, um, well, um, well………” She can’t actually bring herself to say it, but the meaning is clear.

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘masturbate’” I tell her, “I think what you’re trying to tell us is that you were masturbating in the boys’ room.” The beautiful Jennifer Moseley then nods her head “yes” as the tears begin to flow freely. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m really sorry.” “I just don’t know what came over me,” she adds, “Watching Ned at the urinal and then hearing him on the toilet just made me so hot, that I couldn’t control myself.” “Thank you for telling the truth – I’m sure that wasn’t easy for you,” I tell Jennifer, “And I can assure you that you saved yourself a lot of punishment by not trying to lie about it.”

“But masturbating in a school bathroom is a bit more serious than just messing in your panties,” I continue, “And I’m afraid that your punishment is still going to have to reflect the seriousness of the offense.” With that, I sentence Moze to write 500 times, “I will not masturbate in the boys’ room or the girls’ room in school again.” I also sentence her to a week in detention. That’s actually not too bad a punishment given the severity of her offense but it’s still enough to keep the tears flowing from Jennifer’s eyes. An honor students like her has certainly never been punished anything close to that before. But unfortunately for her, I can’t quite just like it go at that. “You also lied to Mr. Kotter about using the toilet in the boys’ room and you also lied to Mrs. Buchman about needing to be excused from class,” I point out, “And you certainly invaded the privacy of your friend Ned.” “You’ll be writing each of them a 1,000 word letter of apology,” I tell Jennifer, “And this means a different letter for each of them and not the same letter for all three.” “You’re actually lucky I’m not considering all 3 of them as separate offenses,” I continue, “You’d be writing sentences until your arm falls off if I punished you separately on those.” “But I figured those essays and the sentences you’ve got to write for the masturbating will be enough to teach you the proper lesson,” I point out, “And that’s not even mentioning the 100 times you’ve got to write for messing in your panties.” I also considered that with the tough academic courses that she is taking in school, finding the time to get all that done in 1 week, is going to be a chore that she won’t soon forget.

In closing, I remind her about the warning I gave her about how the punishment gets worse the more times that a girl messes in her panties. “That warning is even more important when it comes to masturbating in the boys’ room or the girls’ room,” I warn her, “A second offense usually means a toilet suspension and writing your sentences on the blackboard in detention.” I can see the look of horror in Jennifer’s face at that prospect. I doubt that it’s something I’ll have to worry about with her in the future.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

As I read the Violation Report filed in our next case, I have to keep telling myself not to lose my cool. It’s bad enough when a girl gets caught smoking in the girls’ room for the 4th time in a school year. But when I look at her toilet record and she that she’s still on toilet suspension for her 3rd smoking in the girls’ room offense and shouldn’t have even been in the girls’ room in the first place, it really makes my blood boil.

If you were Mena, a smart but underachieving senior, you’d pretty much rather be anyplace else than facing the TVPC at this point. As I said, I have to remind myself to keep my cool and handle this case by the book. Taking first things first, I question as to why I only have 1 Violation Report on Mena – specifically, the one for smoking in the girls’ room. “It seems rather clear that Mena also violated her toilet suspension and that is a very serious offense in and of itself,” I tell Miss Breadlow, the teacher who wrote up the Violation Report for the smoking, “I’m wondering why I don’t have a Violation Report on that as well.

“Mr. Chairman, you’re right,” Miss Breadlow tells me, “I obviously should have written her a Violation Report on that, too.” “I caught her red-handed with the smoking and I wrote that on up,” she points out, “I guess I just didn’t notice the red wristband.” Girls on toilet suspension are required to wear a special red wristband so we can see who is on toilet suspension and shouldn’t be in the girls’ room. Of course, I ask the enthusiastic young teacher to write up the other Violation Report on Mena as well. With that now placed before the TVPC, the senior brunette now stands accused of 2 very serious toilet violations.

“It’s one thing when girls violate a toilet suspension to go in the girls’ room and actually use the toilet,” I tell an uncharacteristically contrite young lady, “Naturally, I do have to punish it, but I certainly understand how a girl absolutely desperate to go, would sneak in to use the toilet rather than messing in her panties.” “But that’s not what you did,” I continue, raising my voice in anger a bit, “You went into the girls’ room, just to have a smoke.” “You didn’t even bother to use the toilet while you were in there smoking,” I point out, this time barely controlling my anger, “Because it looks like you both wet and messed yourself today.” That is what you’d expect of girls on toilet suspension, but it just seems bizarre that she would violate a toilet suspension to go into the girls’ room to smoke, but wouldn’t use the toilet while she was in there. “You violated a toilet suspension, but still managed to do both in your panties,” I point out, “Smoking in the girls’ room was actually more important to you than urinating and defecating in the girls’ room.”

“I know that we’re not supposed to use the toilet while on toilet suspension,” she explains, “I know that having to go in our pants is part of the punishment on toilet suspension.” “So I didn’t want to use the toilet since I wasn’t supposed to,” she continues, “I didn’t want to risk getting into any more trouble than I was in already.” “Nothing could possibly get you in more trouble than you are now,” I tell her, “How could you possibly believe that using the toilet would have gotten you in more trouble than smoking in the girls’ room.”

I deal first with the violation of her toilet suspension as this came first. It happened the moment she set foot in the girls’ room and before she lit up that cigarette. For that she has to write 1,000 times “I will not go into the girls’ room while on toilet suspension again” and serve 2 weeks in detention. She must also serve 1 additional month on toilet suspension. “That’s your punishment for going into the girls’ room in violation of your toilet suspension,” I tell her, “And that would have been your only punishment – and perhaps even a slightly lesser punishment – if all you had done is use the toilet while you were in there.”

“But now comes your punishment for smoking,” I tell the senior, “And I have absolutely no sympathy for a girl on a 4th time smoking in the girls’ room.” It’s actually her 4th time in only this school year. This actually makes it 9 times smoking in the girls’ room in her high school career but I’m not allowed to consider violations in prior years. I note that she still has 3 weeks to go on her 6 week toilet suspension for her 3rd offense and she picked up another month just a moment ago. “I’m giving you 3 more months for smoking in the girls’ room yet again,” I tell her, “And this time you’ll write your 1,000 sentences (“I will not smoke in the girls’ room in school again”) on the blackboard after school.” “You’ll also serve another month in detention when you’re done with that,” I add.

“So all totaled, that’s 4 more months on toilet suspension, 1,000 sentences on the blackboard after school, 1,000 more sentences on paper and 1 month 2 weeks additional time in detention,” I summarize, “I really hope that you enjoyed that cigarette.”

For our next case, we have a shapely, well-endowed senior named Topanga. Topanga is charged with messing in her panties – the load in her panties more than evident under her skin tight corduroy pants that only highlight her plump but firm and shapely behind. This outgoing and sometimes argumentative senior beauty is no stranger to the TVPC with somewhat frequent visits here over her high school career. But I find that puzzling. This is her 3rd panty soiling offense of the school year and she’s got other charges of clogging a toilet and leaving one unflushed. It’s not a particularly bad school toilet record, but 3 accidents in her panties, especially for a senior, is nothing to be proud of, either. A lot of times, panty-soiling accidents happen when girls are shy about having bowel movements in the school girls’ room. Sometimes it’s a cleanliness issue, sometimes it’s a privacy thing, but a lot of girls just don’t like going at school and sometimes mess in their panties when they’re trying to hold it in. But Topanga is not shy by any means. I find it hard to believe that Topanga has any reservations whatsoever about plopping her shapely butt down on a girls’ room toilet seat and giving one of our toilets all it can handle. In fact, she’s had a few issues with our toilets getting clogged with some of her unusually large bowel movements.

But still, Topanga oftentimes finds herself standing before the TVPC in messy panties. As I said, I find that a bit strange. “I remember last year when you’d blame your accidents on Mr. Feeney,” I remind her, “You’d stand here and blame your accidents on him for not letting you go to the girls’ room when you asked.” Mr. Feeney is perhaps our best but without a doubt our strictest History teacher. He has a strict policy against allowing passes to the girls’ room on class time. I’d say that more than an average number of accidents (sometimes messing, sometimes wetting and sometimes both ways) happen in his class because of this policy, but it just seemed like Topanga had a special knack for having accidents in his class. And she also got herself into even more trouble (including getting put on toilet suspension) for leaving class without permission to go to the girls’ room. “Well, Mr. Feeney just never let me go when I asked,” Topanga argues, “He used to always make me try to hold it in.” “Sometimes I could manage to hold it in until class was over and make it to the girls’ room,” she points out, “Other times I couldn’t hold it in and I got punished by you guys for messing in my panties.”

“OK – But what’s your excuse this time?” I ask her. Topanga just looks at me puzzled. “Well, you don’t have Mr. Feeney for a teacher this year,” I point out, “So I don’t think you can blame this accident on him not letting you go to the girls’ room.” “I guess I just waited too long to go,” the shapely senior explains, “I guess I just didn’t realize how bad I had to go.” “I never said it wasn’t my fault,” she points out, “I don’t think I tried to make any excuses for what I did.” In hindsight, I suppose I was a bit harsh with her, but I still find it puzzling how bowel movements always seem to make it into Topanga’s panties. It’s actually mind-boggling how a girl with no issues about using the girls’ room toilets in school, could just let herself have an accident like this.

“This happened in Study Hall?” I ask her, as I look over the Violation Report. “That’s like the opposite of being in Mr. Feeney’s class,” I tell her, “Study Halls are when you are supposed to go to the girls’ room.” “Teachers are SUPPOSED TO let you go to the girls’ room when you ask.” “I just didn’t ask,” Topanga responds, “I know it seems stupid now, but I just never asked to go to the girls’ room.” “I was already in study hall when it first felt like I had to go,” she tells us, “I knew that I did have to go but it wasn’t like it was an emergency or anything.” “I had planned on going to the girls’ room next period,” she explains further, “But obviously I had to go worse than I thought.” “I really thought that I could wait until next period and go then,” Topanga continues, “But obviously I just couldn’t hold it in that long.” “I just don’t know what happened,” she says, “I went from only having to go a little bit to having a full-blown emergency in like 30 minutes.” “Suddenly, it was just coming out in my panties,” the embarrassed senior tells us, “I just waited too long and now it was too late.”

All I can do is shake my head at that explanation. “I just don’t know why you decided to hold it in when all you had to do was ask to go to the girls’ room,” I tell her, “All you had to do was ask and you wouldn’t be standing here in messy panties now.” “I guess I really don’t know, either,” Topanga admits, “For some reason I just decided to wait until next period and that was too long to wait.” “But the time I realized my mistake it was too late,” she adds, “By that time, I had a mess in my panties.” “I guess I just have to suffer my punishment now,” she admits, accepting her fate.

It’s her 3rd panty-soiling of the school year and for punishment, I sentence Topanga to write 300 times, “I will not soil my panties in school again.” But because of her other toilet violations, and the fact that as a senior she should know better, I give her a full week in detention. “I assume you understand how the punishment gets worse the more times you mess in your panties,” I warn her, “And you seem well on your way to getting much more serious punishments than I’ve given you here.” “Next time just ask to go to the girls’ room when you need to,” I suggest, “There’s really no reason to be holding it in when you could have just as easily gone to the girls’ room and taken care of your bowel movement properly.”

As long as Topanga is already here, there is another matter of concern to the TVPC. As TVPC readers surely know, in a matter addressed by our companion TVPC, the aforementioned Mr. Feeney was recently the victim of some nastiness. It seems that back in December, Mr. Feeney’s car was filled with soiled panties – no doubt a protest over his refusal to give girls’ room passes on class time and the accidents that are sometimes the result of that. Furthermore, someone spray painted “Mr. Feeney is a NOB” on the windshield of his car. Needless to say, this TVPC is as outraged as our companion TVPC and we pledge our support in any way we can to find the perpetrators of this nastiness.

“Your animosity toward Mr. Feeney is well known, Topanga,” I tell her, “As I noted before, you’ve probably had more accidents in his class than anyone else.” “Yes sir, I probably have,” she says, looking at me puzzled. “You wouldn’t know anything about what happened to Mr. Feeney’s car, would you?” I ask her, getting more to the point. “No sir,” Topanga answers abruptly. “Whoever did that would be smart to come forward now and admit it,” I point out, “They’re definitely going to be in serious trouble, but the longer it takes us to find the guilty party, the worse it’s going to be for them.” “I don’t know anything about it,” Topanga insists. “I think Mr. Feeney deserved it and I can’t say that I’m sorry to see it happen,” she points out candidly, “But I absolutely had nothing to do with it.” “You had nothing at all to do with it?” I question Topanga further.” “Perhaps you didn’t spray paint his car or actually put all those soiled panties in it,” I suggest to her, “But if even one of those soiled panties in his car came from you, you’re guilty even if you didn’t put them in there yourself.” I see her thinking about that for moment. “If you were willing to admit to that, we could go pretty easy on you,” I suggest. “Perhaps just a writing assignment, some detention, and having to clean out your own panties if that’s all you did,” I offer, “But no time on toilet suspension and no having to clean out panties that aren’t yours.” “Imagine having to clean out every single one of those soiled panties yourself,” I warn her, “That could easily happen if I find out that you’re lying to me now.” “There are some pretty big loads in some of those panties and we have them all in our evidence locker waiting to be cleaned out,” I threaten, “And cleaning them out isn’t going to be easy after all this time with the messes drying out and everything.”

Still, Topanga denies any involvement in the matter. For her sake, I hope she’s telling the truth. By a vote of 5-0, the TVPC authorizes the investigation to continue.

Our next case is the results of a TVPC investigation into an incident back in December at our annual holiday program. As a result of that investigation we have charges of “Bathroom Teasing” being brought against Teddy, a pretty and outgoing junior with a sparkling personality and a million dollar smile. The subject of the teasing is Claudia, a sweet and likeable sophomore with great musical talent but some serious problems when it comes to using the toilet in school. Claudia is a highly talented violin player in the school band while Teddy performs in the school choir and was also a dancer in the holiday program that night in December. Teddy has pleaded “Not Guilty” and vehemently denies the charge. And quite frankly, I find it hard to believe that she’d actually do what she’s accused of. Though she is a good student who rarely gets in any sort of trouble at school (toilet or otherwise), I could see her getting into trouble for something silly or whimsical. But it would be so unlike her to do something so mean and cruel as to what happened to Claudia at the holiday program that night. But we shall soon see as we delve deeper into this case.

Claudia, as TVPC members will surely recall, has had a myriad of toilet problems in her high school career thus far. Her reluctance to do her bowel movements in the in the school girls’ rooms has resulted in numerous panty-soiling accidents – the most memorable being a particularly messy and voluminous one in front of a large crowd when she was a freshman at the 2010 holiday program. That, combined with a continued pattern of panty-soiling accidents this school year, resulted in Claudia being required to wear a diaper (actually we allowed to wear pull-ups training pants) to this year’s holiday program performance. Technically, we didn’t actually REQUIRE her to wear it (the TVPC doesn’t actually have the power to do that), but what we did do was to initially ban her entirely from the holiday show due to concerns over her improper toilet habits. Then we allowed her to be reinstated only when she agreed to the special conditions of wearing a diaper. Reluctantly, and shamefully, Claudia agreed to wear a pull-up and was thus reinstated to the holiday program. That was good news because Claudia is sensational on the violin, both as a solo and as part of something we call the PARTY OF FIVE ensemble. The toilet troubled sophomore was also required to make mandatory toilet visits at various times during the program including a mandatory 15-minute sit down in the girls’ room before the performance.

Apparently, while Claudia was sitting her time on the toilet that evening (and from what I understand, she actually did have a bowel movement in the girls’ room before the show), some cruel prankster placed the toilet training book, “No More Diapers” on Claudia’s music stand. Unfortunately, it was quite upsetting for Claudia to return from her visit to the girls’ room to find that embarrassing book on her music stand. Fortunately, Claudia was able to perform that night (as usual, she was simply fantastic on the violin), but it was still upsetting and as reading of the TVPC surely know, a clear case “Bathroom Teasing” in violation of TVPC rules.

“I didn’t do it – I just didn’t do it,” Teddy states emphatically, “I would never do something like that – that’s just mean.” “That wasn’t funny at all – it was just a mean and nasty thing to do to someone,” she adds, “I have nothing against Claudia and I wouldn’t do something like that even if I did.” Teddy’s mom, Mrs. Duncan is the Assistant Band Director and has been part of this investigation from the start. But she has, of course, stepped aside as the evidence started pointing to her daughter. Still, she has gone on the record as stating she believes her daughter is innocent. Claudia has also stated that she believes Teddy is innocent. But Mrs. Johns, who also investigated this case, has a different view and has filed the Violation Report charging Teddy with “Bathroom Teasing”.

“Teddy was at the school very, very early that night,” Mrs. Johns tells us, “She may have been there even before Claudia had to be there to do her toilet sitting before the show.” “So Teddy definitely had the opportunity to plant the “No More Diapers” book on Claudia’s music stand,” our ace hall and bathroom monitor continues, “And I actually saw her with that very same book that night.” “Teddy even admitted that she had the book there with her that night,” Mrs. Johns adds, “But now she says that she can’t seem to find her copy.” The implication being, of course, that Teddy can’t find her copy of the book because she put it on Claudia’s music stand and it was later confiscated as evidence. Our ace investigator also explains that Teddy seems quite familiar with the “No More Diapers” book – the implication being, that she plotted this prank against Claudia carefully.

“I didn’t do it – I just didn’t do it,” the outgoing blonde-haired senior repeats, even more emphatically than she said it the first time. “I did have a copy of that book with me that night but somehow I lost it – I didn’t put it on Claudia’s chair or whatever.” “Maybe that was the same copy that I had with me – Maybe somebody stole my copy and put it with Claudia’s stuff,” she says, “But no way did I put it there myself.”

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Claudia nods her head in agreement. “Teddy was in the girls’ room with me that night,” she says, “I was upset and she helped me out in there.” “She was really nice to me,” the sophomore continues, “There’s no way that she left that stupid book on my music stand.” But even though Claudia certainly seems sincere, upon further questioning she acknowledges that Teddy wasn’t in the girls’ room with her the whole time. “You had toilet sitting for at least 15 minutes that night,” I remind Claudia, “Teddy wasn’t in there the whole time with you, was she?” “No sir,” she answers, “She came in after I was already in there for a while.”

“I got there so early because my mom had to be there that early and she gave me a ride,” Teddy explains, “I certainly didn’t go there that early to play a stupid and mean prank on Claudia.” “I had just eaten dinner and I definitely had to go to the girls’ room myself – I had to go big time,” the friendly and cheerful junior continues, “I took the stall at the end by the wall and at first, I didn’t realize that someone else was already in the girls’ room.” “I could tell that this was going to be a big and messy one,” Teddy points out, “I was happy that I had plenty of time to just relax and do what I had to do and I thought that I was only one in there.” “But as I was taking care of my own business, I realized that someone was in the stall next to me,” she says, “And then I realized that it was Claudia and she was crying.” Teddy then goes on to tell us that when she asked Claudia what was wrong, she found out that Claudia also needed to do a bowel movement but didn’t want to do it in the girls’ room there. “The girls’ room down there by the auditorium isn’t exactly the greatest,” Teddy points out, “I mean, I’m not saying it’s bad or anything, but it’s nowhere near as nice as the one up here on the 2nd floor.” “Well, Claudia seems to go in her pants no matter what bathroom is available to her,” I explain to Teddy, “That is, after all, why she had to wear a pull-up diaper and sit mandatory toilet time before the show.”

“Well, she didn’t go in her pants that night,” Teddy proudly reports, beaming a million dollar smile at Claudia, “She did her bowel movement right there in the toilet like she was supposed to do.” “That’s thanks to you,” Claudia says, beaming a million dollar smile right back at Teddy, “I never could have done that if it wasn’t for you.” “Yes, you could – You know what you have to do and you know how to do it,” Teddy tells her, “You just need to have more confidence in yourself and just go to the girls’ room and do it when you feel the urge.” “You don’t want to be wearing diapers anymore,” she tells Claudia confidently, “You can go in the toilet in school when you need to and then you won’t have to ever wear a stupid diaper again.”

Apparently, after Teddy finished with her own bowel movement in the girls’ room, she took the time to stop and help the shy and self-conscious Claudia do hers. And Claudia, I’m happy to note, made it through this year’s holiday program without an accident or toilet violation of any kind. I have to wonder whether Teddy went so far as to actually go into Claudia’s stall (thereby violating the TVPC rule against having more than 1 person in a toilet stall at one time), but I’m not about to open up that can of worms. I’m just so happy that Claudia was able to take care of her business properly that night and that we didn’t have a repeat of the gruesome mess she made in her panties the year before.

But getting back to the issue at hand – that being, the “Bathroom Teasing” charge against Teddy – she has indeed explained why she was at school so early that night, but she hasn’t quite explained what she was doing with a copy of the toilet training book “No More Diapers” in the first place.

“I have a little sister that we call Charlie,” Teddy explains, “And I’ve been trying to help toilet train her.” “We are using a lot of the suggestions in the book,” she explains further, “And I brought it with me that night to read while I had some time before the show.” “It was gone from my bag when I got back from the girls’ room,” she adds. “Charlie just worships her big sister,” Mrs. Duncan points out, “We always have her go into the bathroom with Teddy so Charlie can see her using the toilet.” “Teddy is such a good example for her that way,” Mrs. Duncan points out, “Look how she even helped Claudia on the toilet.” “I wish you good luck in that effort,” I tell Teddy and Mrs. Duncan, “and GOOD LUCK CHARLIE as well.”

Teddy is, of course, found “Not Guilty” of the charge and I direct Mrs. Johns and Mrs. Duncan to continue the investigation. “We need to find who put that book on Claudia’s music stand,” I tell them, “And we have to see to it that they get punished.” “I hope you put whoever did that on toilet suspension,” Teddy chimes in, “Claudia didn’t deserve that – especially after she just had a bowel movement in the toilet like she was supposed to.”

With that investigation continuing, I also make note of another ongoing TVPC investigation from the night of the holiday program. After the show that night, one of our custodians reported finding a messy – a VERY messy – pair of Victoria’s Secret panties in one of the girls’ room garbage cans. This was in the girls’ room between the gymnasium and the auditorium and it was the girls’ room that everybody at the holiday show was using that night. Naturally, our TVPC investigators are hard at work trying to find who mess in their panties that night and then ditched them in the garbage can.

I am sad to note that our investigation has not made much progress thus far. Unfortunately, whoever ditched those panties in the garbage can did a good job of hiding them in there. The panties weren’t found until everyone had already gone home for the night and our custodian was in there cleaning up the bathroom. So our investigation didn’t actually begin until school the next day. The first thing our investigators would have done that night was to check all the girls in the holiday program for underwear. Any girl caught without panties at that time would be our first suspect – the suspicion being that after having messed in her panties, she got rid of them in the girls’ room.

So, this investigation is not going well. Quite frankly, with everyone having used that girls’ room that night, we can’t even be sure that one of our girls did it. The more we investigate this case, they more we’re becoming convinced that it probably wasn’t. “Those panties had quite a load in them,” reports Mrs. Duncan, one of the investigators, “I think if one of our girls in the program had an accident like that, we would have noticed at the time.” “It would definitely be hard to hide a load like that not only from us but from her fellow performers,” the Assistant Band Director continues, “And I’d image that the smell would be pretty hard to hide as well.” “There was a big crowd there that night and it could have been anyone,” Mrs. Johns points out, “There’s some rumors around school that it was a parent but it’s really going to be hard to pinpoint exactly who it was.” “Plus those were really fancy and expensive panties,” she continues, “It’s not the usual attire for high school girls.” “They were really nice ones,” she adds, “It’s kind of shame that someone made a mess in them.”

“Still, it could be one of our girls,” Mrs. Duncan points out, “So I’d like to stay on the case.” Mrs. Johns nods her head in agreement. Once again, by a vote of 5-0, the TVPC authorizes the investigation to continue.

Our next case is Sara, a bright and busy senior who is charged with violating a toilet sitting punishment. Specifically, she is charged with being in the Art Room when she should have been sitting on the toilet in the New Edition girls’ room. Sara pleads “Guilty” and admits to what she did. “I’m sorry, sir,” she tells us, “I have toilet sitting punishment the period before I have Art Class and I have been doing the toilet sitting every day like I’m supposed to.” “But I have this big art project that is due tomorrow,” she explains, “And I wanted to do some more work on the project, so I went to work on that for an extra period instead of doing my toilet sitting today.” Merely cutting a toilet sitting punishment isn’t a serious offense the first time a girl does it (and this is indeed her first time), but the circumstances of this case make me quite angry.

“You’ve really got a lot of nerve pulling something like this,” I tell Sara, “You got off awfully lightly last time and now you don’t even do the punishment that you did get.” “I don’t think I got off THAT lightly,” she says, “I had to write 1,000 sentences, and I got a whole month of toilet sitting punishment,” she points out, “And I had to clean out those panties and wear them again – That was disgusting.” “With all my duties as the Assistant to the Mayor of Townsville, all that really put a crimp in my busy schedule,” she adds. “You should consider yourself LUCKY to be sitting on the toilet – You should consider yourself lucky to be sitting on the toilet AT ALL,” I explain, “You’re very lucky not to have gotten a toilet suspension for what you did.” “Then you’d be begging me to be allowed to sit on the toilet instead of complaining about it,” I point out. “Yes sir, I’m sorry, sir,” she responds. “I really didn’t mean to complain about it or not to be grateful,” she explains, “I’m sorry again, I apologize for what I did.”

What Sara did back in December right before Christmas break was mess in her panties in Art Class and then she tried to hide what she did by ditching her soiled panties in a Christmas display. “You’re very lucky your case got referred to our companion TVPC,” I tell her, “Had you come before me on that charge, you’d most definitely be without your toilet privileges now.” “I’m certainly grateful that I didn’t get a toilet suspension – I think I’d just die if I couldn’t use the bathroom in school,” she says.

“You not only didn’t get a toilet suspension, but you only got a punishment for hiding the soiled panties,” I point out, “You didn’t even get punished at all for messing in the panties in the first place.” “That was only my first accident of the school year – Actually, the first time I’d messed in my panties since junior high,” the lovely and articulate Sara points out, “I think that’s why I didn’t get a separate punishment for the accident itself.” “That warning with no punishment is not supposed to happen if you commit another offense – especially, a serious offense like trying to hide your messy panties – along with it.” “But that was up to our companion TVPC – It was their case,” I add, “But like I said, you were lucky you went in front of them instead of me.” “Yes sir – I understand,” she says. “And then you show that gratitude by not actually doing the lenient punishment that you did get?” I ask her. “I’m sorry, sir,” she repeats, “I guess I just really didn’t think of it like that.” “I guess it was a really stupid thing to do,” she admits. “But I didn’t really mean any disrespect by it,” she says, “All I was thinking about at the time was getting my art project done.”

Still, the cutting of her toilet sitting punishment ONCE is not a serious offense. As much as I’d like to give her the toilet suspension that she deserved last time, the rules don’t allow me to do so. I give her the customary punishment for an offense like this – that being, 2 additional periods of toilet sitting punishment. But I’m also making her write 250 times, “I will not violate my toilet sitting punishment again.” Furthermore, I’m giving her a stern warning. “Don’t be fooled into thinking that this is the only punishment that you can get for not showing up to do a punishment,” I warn her, “It’s only what happens the FIRST time.” “The SECOND time, I can indeed give you a toilet suspension,” I point out and ask her, “So what do you think you’ll get if you do this again?” “You’ll give me a toilet suspension,” she says without hesitation. “That’s why I promise that I’ll never do it again,” she adds, “I think I’d just die if I couldn’t use the toilet in school.”

So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:18 PM.

[Narada]

Good job! Wow, I had no idea Moze was so naughty! Did she seriously get turned on by listening to Ned "do a poo?" Dirty girl! I can't believe she was caught pleasuring herself in the bathroom--wonder what Ned and Cookie are going to think of this? Nice to see Teddy off Good Luck Charlie and Claud from Party of Five. I had no idea that Sara pooping her panties and hiding them counted as two seperate offenses! The only reason she wasn't given a toilet suspension was that she was promised leniency if she admitted the truth of what she'd done, and it was her first offense...

I still have no idea who vandalized Mr. Feeny's car! Our investigation has turned up nothing so far, but I still think Topanga at least knows who's behind it.

[spandexman]

Another first rate report

Top notch report Arnold. Keep up the good work. Thanks.