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Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.
My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of March 19, 2012.
As I’m about to gavel open this afternoon’s session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC), I note that the school is abuzz with news of our girls’ basketball team. The girls pulled off an amazing overtime victory Saturday night to capture our first sectional title in 22 years. But last night’s sectional title game was played over at nearby Hickory HS – a school with a beautiful old-fashioned gymnasium, but not the greatest place when you have to go to the bathroom. It seems that over at Hickory HS, there are no doors on the individual toilet stalls and it’s not a particularly pleasant place to use the toilet – especially when a girl needs to have a bowel movement. It seems that every time our girls’ basketball team plays there, we have cases for the TVPC. Unfortunately, today is no exception.
As I look over the crowd in the TVPC committee room today, I note the presence of not only Coach Teiger and some of her basketball players, but Coach Musso and some of her cheerleaders as well. “As usual, it looks like we have a bunch of cases from Saturday night, ladies,” I tell the two coaches, “Who wants to go first?”
Coach Teiger goes first and presents the case of Trina, a gawky tomboyish freshman with braces. She is a 3rd string point guard on the team, but the coach feels she has tremendous potential for the future. The freshman is charged with soiling her panties at the game.
“I don’t know what to say, sir, but I just couldn’t go in those bathrooms,” Trina tells us, “I went pee in there but I just couldn’t go BM in there without a stall door.” “I’m sorry Coach Teiger – I’m sorry I messed in my panties,” she says as she turns to her coach crying, “I know I disgraced my whole team with what I did, but I just couldn’t go in that stupid bathroom without any privacy.” With that, the poor girl just breaks down crying into her hands.
“It’s OK,” Coach Teiger tells her consolingly. “Well, I’m not saying that it’s OK you messed in your panties,” the coach qualifies that, “I’m just saying that everything is going to be alright.” “You did something wrong and now comes the time for your punishment,” she tells the scared freshman, “You’re going to learn your lesson from this and we’re going to move on.” “It’s certainly a bad thing when one of our basketball players messes in her panties at a game,” Coach Teiger explains to her, “But you’re certainly not the first girl who’s ever done it.” With her Coach’s kind words, the poor girl dries her eyes a bit.
“I’m sorry I messed in my panties, sir,” the shy, gawky freshman tells me, “I’m really, really sorry.” “I know it’s no excuse – I know we’re not supposed to go in our panties at all,” she tells us, “But it’s only the second time I’ve done it and the first was way back in September and that was only a little bit.” “I’m just hoping, sir, that you can consider that when you give me my punishment,” she points out. “Yes, we’ll certainly take your good toilet record into consideration,” I assure her, “And we’ll also take into consideration that the girls’ room there wasn’t very nice.” “But we also have to consider that you were representing the school as a basketball player when you did it,” I point out, “And this was a big game in front of a big crowd, to boot.” Faithful readers of the TVPC know that accidents by athletes and others while representing the school are more serious than accidents that just happen in school. I also note that according to the Violation Report filed by Coach Teiger, Trina’s was a particularly bad accident. “It was a rally big bowel movement and it was indeed quite a big load in her panties,” Coach Teiger explains when I ask her about this, “But I want to point out that it was also a very solid movement that was completely contained in her panties.” “It was a big bulge in the back of her shorts and it was impossible to hide,” the coach explains further, “But at least it didn’t leak through her panties or anything like that.” “Somehow her basketball shorts didn’t get soiled at all,” she adds.
“I promise that I won’t do it again, sir,” Trina pleads. “I don’t know how I’m going to BM in a stall without a door on it next time,” she tells me, “But somehow I’m going to do it if I have to – I’m never going to mess in my panties again.” “I’m never going to embarrass my team like I did this time,” she says, turning to Coach Teiger, “I know that I have to use the toilet no matter what when I represent the school. The coach also pleads for leniency for her future basketball star. “Obviously, it’s no excuse for a girl to mess in her panties – especially while representing the school,” Coach Teiger tells me, “But I can sort of understand how it might happen.” “I had to have a bowel movement Saturday night myself,” the pretty, blonde-haired coach acknowledges, “And I have to say that it’s pretty unnerving to be doing it in a stall without a privacy door.” “Obviously, I wasn’t going to do it in my pants and Trina shouldn’t have either,” she continues, “But you can kind of understand how a girl, especially a freshman, wouldn’t want to have a bowel movement in a toilet like that.” The coach certainly has a point, but the girl did mess in her panties while representing the school and must be punished accordingly.
“I certainly believe you’re sorry for what you did,” I tell Trina, “And I certainly think you’re sincere when you promise never to do it again.” “But the TVPC can never excuse a girl who has an accident while representing the school,” I continue, “You said it yourself when you pointed out that your messy panties were an embarrassment to your whole team.”
Accordingly, I sentence her to write 500 times, “I will not soil my panties in school or at basketball games again.” “F-F-Five hundred times?” she asks me in disbelief, obviously expecting a lesser punishment, “The last time I just got a warning.” “Last time was only your first offense and it happened in Algebra class,” I explain, “This was your second offense and it happened at a basketball game in front of a packed gymnasium.” I do cut her a break with detention, though, as I only give her 3 days. “I could have given you a full week and made you sit on the toilet while serving it,” I point out, “I trust that you’ll learn your lesson without having to do that.” “Yes sir,” she tells me. “And this better not happen again because the punishment will be way worse if it does,” I warn her. “It won’t happen again,” she assures me, “You don’t have to worry about that.”
Our next case from the girls’ basketball team is Mary, a tall, blonde-haired senior. It’s certainly no surprise to see her here after a basketball game over at Hickory HS. It’s certainly not that Mary is a frequent panty-soiler – in fact, with only 1 accident in each of the last 3 years, she’s far from it, but basketball games at Hickory HS have not been kind to her. The bathrooms there aren’t SEVENTH HEAVEN that’s for sure. “I think somebody over there put a curse on me or something,” Mary says, only half jokingly, “They have the worst girls’ rooms of any school that we play at and just about every time we go there, I need to have a bowel movement really bad.” “It’s one thing to have to go #1 – you do expect that,” the gorgeous senior explains, “But I just can’t believe how I always have to go #2 every time we go there.” “It’s just awful going to the bathroom when you don’t have a stall door for privacy,” she adds.
Checking her toilet record, we see that the senior messed in her panties at Hickory HS her sophomore year and did it again last year as a junior – both accidents, of course, while representing the school as a basketball player. “It’s really been a string of bad luck that you’ve been having there,” I tell Mary, “It was your only accident each of the last 2 years, but we had to punish you a lot worse because you were representing the school when it happened.” “Yes sir,” the senior acknowledges, shrugging her shoulders with a look of acknowledgement on her face. She, of course, realizes how much worse those punishments were because she did it a game rather than if she had just done it in school.
But as I take a look at the Violation Report in this case, I’m in for a surprise. It seems that Mary did indeed use the toilet this time and I certainly mean for a bowel movement. Unfortunately for her, though, that bowel movement was so big that it clogged the toilet. “I’m certainly happy to see that you didn’t mess in your panties this time,” I tell Mary, “But I guess you just can’t catch a break when you have basketball games over there.” “That’s what I mean when I say that someone there must have put a curse on me or something,” Mary points out, “No matter what I do it seems I can’t win.” “I guess I deserved it when I had those accidents because I refused to go to the girls’ room when I knew I needed to,” she explains, “But this time I used the toilet like I’m supposed to and I get in trouble anyway.”
“I think you might have been better off using one of the toilets in the locker room,” Coach Teiger tells Mary, “I don’t know why you went in the public bathroom in the hallway instead.” “Didn’t you say that we could if we wanted to?” she asks her coach. “Yes, it’s alright that you went in there – I did say that you could,” the coach answers, “I’m just happy that you went in the toilet instead of your pants.” “I’m just saying that you might not have clogged it if you went in the locker room instead,” the coach continues, “They were all new toilets with a super power flush that could handle just about anything.” “You know what big bowel movements Beverly always has,” she explains to Mary, “And this time, she did one of the biggest that I’ve ever seen.” “And I did a pretty big one in there myself,” the very pretty basketball coach explains further, “And those toilets handled all of that.” “If only they had doors on the stalls that would be the perfect bathroom,” Coach Teiger says with a smile, “I like toilets that handle whatever my girls dish out.” Well, that’s all interesting and everything but not really relevant to the case. Mary made her decision to use the girls’ room in the hallway (I guess she felt she could get a little more privacy there) and she now has to face the consequences for clogging the toilet.
“Well, you’re not in as much trouble as you would have been had you gone in your pants again,” I tell her, “Even though you ended up clogging it, it’s certainly better that you went in the toilet instead of your pants.” “I’m sure with a load like you did in that toilet, it would have been really bad had you done that in your pants,” I point out. “Yes, sir – It was quite a load I did in the toilet,” she acknowledges, “And I’m really glad that I didn’t do that one in my pants.” Mary goes on to tell us that she first felt the need to go as the team bus was pulling into the parking lot and it was “kind of urgent” already. “I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in all night,” she explains, “I knew that if I didn’t want to go in my pants, I was going to have to go in the toilets there.” “I certainly didn’t want to do it in the doorless stalls that they had there,” she continues, “But I knew that I had to do it or I was going to have another mess in my pants.” “I’m a senior now and I’m really getting too old to be doing BMs in my pants,” she tells us, “I just decided that somehow I was just going to have to force myself to use one of the doorless stalls.” “Coach Teiger told me that I really needed to go and use the toilet,” Mary explains, “She said that as a senior now, I needed to set a good example for the younger girls so they would use the toilet, too.” The tall and very pretty blonde also tells us that she thought about the punishment she was going to get if she went in her pants again. “You gave me 500 lines each of the last 2 times I went in my pants at a game,” Mary reminds me, “And each of those times it was only my first accident of the school year.” “I already did 1 accident in school back in November,” she also reminds me, “I was kind of worried that you would give me 1,000 times if I went in my pants again.” “Writing 500 times was bad enough,” Mary explains, “I certainly didn’t want to be writing 1,000 times.” I’m not sure that I would have given her 1,000 sentences this time, but I certainly would have considered it. I’m glad she didn’t chance it. “But mostly I went in the toilet because I know that’s what I’m supposed to do,” Mary quickly points out, “As I said, I’m a senior now and I really should be setting a good example for the other girls.”
“I think set a very good example for the younger girls,” Coach Teiger chimes in, “I know it wasn’t easy for her to do a bowel movement in there without any privacy, but she did what she had to do.” “I don’t like how she clogged the toilet like she did, but I’m still proud of her for using it,” the coach continues, “We had a lot of girls doing their bowel movement in the toilets there Saturday night – Trina was the only girl on the team to have an accident.” “I hope you won’t be too harsh on Mary with her punishment,” her coach pleads, “I think she handled the whole thing pretty well.” Coach Teiger goes on to point out that this was only a Category #1 clog. That is, it was Mary’s bowel movement all by itself that caused the toilet to clog – there wasn’t even any toilet paper involved in the clog at all. Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that a Category #1 clog (clogging with only a bowel movement) is the least serious type of clog under TVPC rules. She also tells us that Mary tried to flush it immediately when she saw how big it was. Then when she saw that it got clogged and wouldn’t flush down, she didn’t throw her toilet paper into the bowl. “When she wiped herself, she saved the toilet paper,” Coach Teiger points out proudly, “Then when she was done she took it to another toilet and flushed it down there.” Mary nods her head as her coach tells the story. “People were looking at me kind of strange as I was walking out of the stall with used toilet paper in my hand,” the gorgeous senior tells us, “But I knew that I wasn’t supposed to throw my toilet paper into a toilet that was already clogged.” “I think she definitely did the right thing,” the coach tells me, “Both in using the toilet and then in not making her clog worse.”
“Indeed she did,” I tell her, “But I cannot ignore the fact that she did clog the toilet and she did so while representing the school.” “But she certainly saved herself some punishment by flushing her toilet paper separately,” I also point out, “And she saved herself a whole lot of punishment by going in the toilet instead of her pants.” I then sentence Mary to write “I will not clog the toilet in the girls’ room again” 250 times. And I give her the choice of serving 2 days of regular after school detention or serving 3 of her study hall periods sitting on the toilet. Mary eagerly chooses the toilet sitting during study hall – no doubt so as not to interfere with basketball practice after school. “That’s not so bad I guess,” she says, “It’s a lot better than the punishment for going in my pants.” “EXACTLY!” I tell her, “You should be proud of yourself for going in the toilet this time.”
Turning out attention to Coach Musso and the cheerleaders, we first have the case of a sophomore brunette with braces named Becca. Hers is not only an accident case but a doubleheader – that is, she went both ways in her pants. And it, of course, is the more serious offense of having an accident while representing the school. Cheerleaders represent the school just as the basketball team does.
“Mr. Chairman, sir?” she asks, “Can I ask a question?” “Yes, you MAY ask a question,” I tell her. “I know it was wrong of me to go in my panties – especially wetting in them, too,” she says. “But should this really be an accident while representing the school like you said?” she asks, “I don’t think I was really representing the school at the game.” I look at her and Coach Musso puzzled. “I think what she means is that she’s been injured and couldn’t actually cheer at the game,” the lovely cheerleading coach clarifies, “She wants to know if she is still considered to be a cheerleader representing the school when she didn’t actually cheer at the game.” “Did your injury prevent you from going to the girls’ room when you should have?” I ask her. “No sir,” she answers honestly. “The charge against you is correct,” I tell the sophomore. “Even if you didn’t actually cheer at the game, you were there as a member of the cheerleading squad,” I explain, “So that means that you were representing the school and will be punished accordingly.” “Trina didn’t actually play in the basketball game but she’s still on the team and is therefore responsible for an accident while representing the school,” I point out.
“And as to your accident itself, wetting isn’t the worst part,” I point out further, “Soiling in your pants is the more serious offense of the two and it’s that you should be particularly ashamed of.” “I think what she means is that the messing part came first,” Coach Musso clarifies again, “And then she made it worse by also wetting herself.” “I went pee when we first got there and that was in the toilet,” Becca explains for herself, “And I was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to go again for the rest of the night.” “But then I messed in my panties later that night,” she says, “And then when I had to go pee again, I didn’t want to go and use the girls’ room with a mess in my panties.” “I was hoping I could hold it in and wait until we got back to our school,” she adds, “But then I wet myself pretty bad on the bus ride home.” “Saying she wet herself pretty bad on the bus doesn’t quite do it justice,” Coach Musso points out, “At one point, it was rolling down the aisle of the bus for all to see.”
“Well perhaps you shouldn’t have messed in your panties in the first place,” I point out to Becca, “If you’d just have done your bowel movement in the toilet like you’re supposed to, you wouldn’t have had to worry about a mess in your panties later.” “You could have just used the girls’ room before you left,” I point out further, “And we wouldn’t have your urination rolling down the aisle of the bus later.” “Yes sir,” she tells me with her head bowed in shame, “But there were no doors on the toilets.” “And you didn’t want to have a bowel movement in a toilet with no door on the stall?” I ask her. “I don’t even like to do that in a public bathroom when there is a door on the stall,” she answers, “I don’t mind peeing so much, but the only place I like to be doing bowel movements is my toilet at home.” “Well, you’d better learn to do your bowel movements away from home when you need to!” I tell her, a tinge of anger in my voice, “Preferring to go at home is fine, but going in your panties when you can’t get home in time is totally unacceptable.” A quick glance at her school toilet record indicates 3 prior soiling accidents this school year – all of them during the regular school day – including one doubleheader. “You record is quite shameful, young lady,” I tell her bluntly, “I EXPECT to seeing immediate improvement in your toilet habits, Becca.” “I don’t really care if you like them or not, you need to start using public bathrooms for your bowel movements,” I lecture her, “You need to learn that going in a public toilet is certainly better than going in your panties.”
“Yes, sir – I’m trying,” she answers as she begins to cry. “I go in the toilet sometimes in school like when I really need to,” she tells me, “But I just couldn’t go in that bathroom with no doors on he stalls.” “Well, try harder,” I tell the sophomore, “Not wanted to go in a doorless stall is one thing, but we do have doors on the stalls here and still you’ve messed in your panties 3 times.” Yes, sir – I know, sir,” she tells me, “But like I said, I’m trying to do better – I’m doing better than I did last year.” A quick glance at her toilet record indicates 6 soiling accidents last year, although none of them while representing the school. “Yours a pretty shameful toilet record – even for a freshman,” I admonish her, “And it look likes you’re on pace to match it again this year.” “Shameful!” I tell her as the poor girl fights back tears.
Determining Becca’s punishment presents a quandary for the TVPC. With a toilet record as bad as hers and this being a doubleheader accident, she deserves more than the usual 500 times for a 1st accident while representing the school. But I’m not so sure that she deserves a full 1,000 times, either. And I think she would benefit from other punishments more than just long, tedious sentence writing. After careful consideration, I first sentence her to write “I will not soil nor will I wet my panties in school or while cheerleading again” 1,000 times. But I put a caveat on that. “You’ll write 500 of them now – they’ll be due in 1 week,” I tell her, “But I’m not going to make you finish the full 1,000 times – at least not just yet.” “If you can go 2 months without having another accident, then the rest of your writing assignment goes away,” I explain, “But if you do have another accident – and that’s whether the accident is a wetting, a soiling, or a another doubleheader – you’ll have to finish the full punishment.” “And that, of course, will be in addition to the punishment you get for that accident itself,” I explain further, “I hope you understand how serious another accident would be for you then.” “Yes sir – I’m going to really try not to have any more accidents,” she says. “Try really hard,” I advise her, “It’s a lot of writing that you’ve got at stake here.” I also sentence her to write a 1,000 word letter of apology to her cheerleading teammates for what happened on the bus. “They don’t need to be watching your urine roll down the aisle of the bus,” I admonish Becca, “They deserve to be able to ride home from a game without having to look at something like that.” She also gets a week of detention and a week of her 5th period study hall sitting on a toilet in the girls’ room near the gymnasium. Hopefully, this will be her last accident – at least for the next 2 months – or she’s going to be one very sorry young lady. “I EXPECT to see immediate improvement in your toilet habits, Becca,” I tell her again. “Yes sir,” she tells me. Whether her promise and my little incentive plan for her not have any more accidents will work, only time will tell.
My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of March 19, 2012.
As I’m about to gavel open this afternoon’s session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC), I note that the school is abuzz with news of our girls’ basketball team. The girls pulled off an amazing overtime victory Saturday night to capture our first sectional title in 22 years. But last night’s sectional title game was played over at nearby Hickory HS – a school with a beautiful old-fashioned gymnasium, but not the greatest place when you have to go to the bathroom. It seems that over at Hickory HS, there are no doors on the individual toilet stalls and it’s not a particularly pleasant place to use the toilet – especially when a girl needs to have a bowel movement. It seems that every time our girls’ basketball team plays there, we have cases for the TVPC. Unfortunately, today is no exception.
As I look over the crowd in the TVPC committee room today, I note the presence of not only Coach Teiger and some of her basketball players, but Coach Musso and some of her cheerleaders as well. “As usual, it looks like we have a bunch of cases from Saturday night, ladies,” I tell the two coaches, “Who wants to go first?”
Coach Teiger goes first and presents the case of Trina, a gawky tomboyish freshman with braces. She is a 3rd string point guard on the team, but the coach feels she has tremendous potential for the future. The freshman is charged with soiling her panties at the game.
“I don’t know what to say, sir, but I just couldn’t go in those bathrooms,” Trina tells us, “I went pee in there but I just couldn’t go BM in there without a stall door.” “I’m sorry Coach Teiger – I’m sorry I messed in my panties,” she says as she turns to her coach crying, “I know I disgraced my whole team with what I did, but I just couldn’t go in that stupid bathroom without any privacy.” With that, the poor girl just breaks down crying into her hands.
“It’s OK,” Coach Teiger tells her consolingly. “Well, I’m not saying that it’s OK you messed in your panties,” the coach qualifies that, “I’m just saying that everything is going to be alright.” “You did something wrong and now comes the time for your punishment,” she tells the scared freshman, “You’re going to learn your lesson from this and we’re going to move on.” “It’s certainly a bad thing when one of our basketball players messes in her panties at a game,” Coach Teiger explains to her, “But you’re certainly not the first girl who’s ever done it.” With her Coach’s kind words, the poor girl dries her eyes a bit.
“I’m sorry I messed in my panties, sir,” the shy, gawky freshman tells me, “I’m really, really sorry.” “I know it’s no excuse – I know we’re not supposed to go in our panties at all,” she tells us, “But it’s only the second time I’ve done it and the first was way back in September and that was only a little bit.” “I’m just hoping, sir, that you can consider that when you give me my punishment,” she points out. “Yes, we’ll certainly take your good toilet record into consideration,” I assure her, “And we’ll also take into consideration that the girls’ room there wasn’t very nice.” “But we also have to consider that you were representing the school as a basketball player when you did it,” I point out, “And this was a big game in front of a big crowd, to boot.” Faithful readers of the TVPC know that accidents by athletes and others while representing the school are more serious than accidents that just happen in school. I also note that according to the Violation Report filed by Coach Teiger, Trina’s was a particularly bad accident. “It was a rally big bowel movement and it was indeed quite a big load in her panties,” Coach Teiger explains when I ask her about this, “But I want to point out that it was also a very solid movement that was completely contained in her panties.” “It was a big bulge in the back of her shorts and it was impossible to hide,” the coach explains further, “But at least it didn’t leak through her panties or anything like that.” “Somehow her basketball shorts didn’t get soiled at all,” she adds.
“I promise that I won’t do it again, sir,” Trina pleads. “I don’t know how I’m going to BM in a stall without a door on it next time,” she tells me, “But somehow I’m going to do it if I have to – I’m never going to mess in my panties again.” “I’m never going to embarrass my team like I did this time,” she says, turning to Coach Teiger, “I know that I have to use the toilet no matter what when I represent the school. The coach also pleads for leniency for her future basketball star. “Obviously, it’s no excuse for a girl to mess in her panties – especially while representing the school,” Coach Teiger tells me, “But I can sort of understand how it might happen.” “I had to have a bowel movement Saturday night myself,” the pretty, blonde-haired coach acknowledges, “And I have to say that it’s pretty unnerving to be doing it in a stall without a privacy door.” “Obviously, I wasn’t going to do it in my pants and Trina shouldn’t have either,” she continues, “But you can kind of understand how a girl, especially a freshman, wouldn’t want to have a bowel movement in a toilet like that.” The coach certainly has a point, but the girl did mess in her panties while representing the school and must be punished accordingly.
“I certainly believe you’re sorry for what you did,” I tell Trina, “And I certainly think you’re sincere when you promise never to do it again.” “But the TVPC can never excuse a girl who has an accident while representing the school,” I continue, “You said it yourself when you pointed out that your messy panties were an embarrassment to your whole team.”
Accordingly, I sentence her to write 500 times, “I will not soil my panties in school or at basketball games again.” “F-F-Five hundred times?” she asks me in disbelief, obviously expecting a lesser punishment, “The last time I just got a warning.” “Last time was only your first offense and it happened in Algebra class,” I explain, “This was your second offense and it happened at a basketball game in front of a packed gymnasium.” I do cut her a break with detention, though, as I only give her 3 days. “I could have given you a full week and made you sit on the toilet while serving it,” I point out, “I trust that you’ll learn your lesson without having to do that.” “Yes sir,” she tells me. “And this better not happen again because the punishment will be way worse if it does,” I warn her. “It won’t happen again,” she assures me, “You don’t have to worry about that.”
Our next case from the girls’ basketball team is Mary, a tall, blonde-haired senior. It’s certainly no surprise to see her here after a basketball game over at Hickory HS. It’s certainly not that Mary is a frequent panty-soiler – in fact, with only 1 accident in each of the last 3 years, she’s far from it, but basketball games at Hickory HS have not been kind to her. The bathrooms there aren’t SEVENTH HEAVEN that’s for sure. “I think somebody over there put a curse on me or something,” Mary says, only half jokingly, “They have the worst girls’ rooms of any school that we play at and just about every time we go there, I need to have a bowel movement really bad.” “It’s one thing to have to go #1 – you do expect that,” the gorgeous senior explains, “But I just can’t believe how I always have to go #2 every time we go there.” “It’s just awful going to the bathroom when you don’t have a stall door for privacy,” she adds.
Checking her toilet record, we see that the senior messed in her panties at Hickory HS her sophomore year and did it again last year as a junior – both accidents, of course, while representing the school as a basketball player. “It’s really been a string of bad luck that you’ve been having there,” I tell Mary, “It was your only accident each of the last 2 years, but we had to punish you a lot worse because you were representing the school when it happened.” “Yes sir,” the senior acknowledges, shrugging her shoulders with a look of acknowledgement on her face. She, of course, realizes how much worse those punishments were because she did it a game rather than if she had just done it in school.
But as I take a look at the Violation Report in this case, I’m in for a surprise. It seems that Mary did indeed use the toilet this time and I certainly mean for a bowel movement. Unfortunately for her, though, that bowel movement was so big that it clogged the toilet. “I’m certainly happy to see that you didn’t mess in your panties this time,” I tell Mary, “But I guess you just can’t catch a break when you have basketball games over there.” “That’s what I mean when I say that someone there must have put a curse on me or something,” Mary points out, “No matter what I do it seems I can’t win.” “I guess I deserved it when I had those accidents because I refused to go to the girls’ room when I knew I needed to,” she explains, “But this time I used the toilet like I’m supposed to and I get in trouble anyway.”
“I think you might have been better off using one of the toilets in the locker room,” Coach Teiger tells Mary, “I don’t know why you went in the public bathroom in the hallway instead.” “Didn’t you say that we could if we wanted to?” she asks her coach. “Yes, it’s alright that you went in there – I did say that you could,” the coach answers, “I’m just happy that you went in the toilet instead of your pants.” “I’m just saying that you might not have clogged it if you went in the locker room instead,” the coach continues, “They were all new toilets with a super power flush that could handle just about anything.” “You know what big bowel movements Beverly always has,” she explains to Mary, “And this time, she did one of the biggest that I’ve ever seen.” “And I did a pretty big one in there myself,” the very pretty basketball coach explains further, “And those toilets handled all of that.” “If only they had doors on the stalls that would be the perfect bathroom,” Coach Teiger says with a smile, “I like toilets that handle whatever my girls dish out.” Well, that’s all interesting and everything but not really relevant to the case. Mary made her decision to use the girls’ room in the hallway (I guess she felt she could get a little more privacy there) and she now has to face the consequences for clogging the toilet.
“Well, you’re not in as much trouble as you would have been had you gone in your pants again,” I tell her, “Even though you ended up clogging it, it’s certainly better that you went in the toilet instead of your pants.” “I’m sure with a load like you did in that toilet, it would have been really bad had you done that in your pants,” I point out. “Yes, sir – It was quite a load I did in the toilet,” she acknowledges, “And I’m really glad that I didn’t do that one in my pants.” Mary goes on to tell us that she first felt the need to go as the team bus was pulling into the parking lot and it was “kind of urgent” already. “I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in all night,” she explains, “I knew that if I didn’t want to go in my pants, I was going to have to go in the toilets there.” “I certainly didn’t want to do it in the doorless stalls that they had there,” she continues, “But I knew that I had to do it or I was going to have another mess in my pants.” “I’m a senior now and I’m really getting too old to be doing BMs in my pants,” she tells us, “I just decided that somehow I was just going to have to force myself to use one of the doorless stalls.” “Coach Teiger told me that I really needed to go and use the toilet,” Mary explains, “She said that as a senior now, I needed to set a good example for the younger girls so they would use the toilet, too.” The tall and very pretty blonde also tells us that she thought about the punishment she was going to get if she went in her pants again. “You gave me 500 lines each of the last 2 times I went in my pants at a game,” Mary reminds me, “And each of those times it was only my first accident of the school year.” “I already did 1 accident in school back in November,” she also reminds me, “I was kind of worried that you would give me 1,000 times if I went in my pants again.” “Writing 500 times was bad enough,” Mary explains, “I certainly didn’t want to be writing 1,000 times.” I’m not sure that I would have given her 1,000 sentences this time, but I certainly would have considered it. I’m glad she didn’t chance it. “But mostly I went in the toilet because I know that’s what I’m supposed to do,” Mary quickly points out, “As I said, I’m a senior now and I really should be setting a good example for the other girls.”
“I think set a very good example for the younger girls,” Coach Teiger chimes in, “I know it wasn’t easy for her to do a bowel movement in there without any privacy, but she did what she had to do.” “I don’t like how she clogged the toilet like she did, but I’m still proud of her for using it,” the coach continues, “We had a lot of girls doing their bowel movement in the toilets there Saturday night – Trina was the only girl on the team to have an accident.” “I hope you won’t be too harsh on Mary with her punishment,” her coach pleads, “I think she handled the whole thing pretty well.” Coach Teiger goes on to point out that this was only a Category #1 clog. That is, it was Mary’s bowel movement all by itself that caused the toilet to clog – there wasn’t even any toilet paper involved in the clog at all. Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that a Category #1 clog (clogging with only a bowel movement) is the least serious type of clog under TVPC rules. She also tells us that Mary tried to flush it immediately when she saw how big it was. Then when she saw that it got clogged and wouldn’t flush down, she didn’t throw her toilet paper into the bowl. “When she wiped herself, she saved the toilet paper,” Coach Teiger points out proudly, “Then when she was done she took it to another toilet and flushed it down there.” Mary nods her head as her coach tells the story. “People were looking at me kind of strange as I was walking out of the stall with used toilet paper in my hand,” the gorgeous senior tells us, “But I knew that I wasn’t supposed to throw my toilet paper into a toilet that was already clogged.” “I think she definitely did the right thing,” the coach tells me, “Both in using the toilet and then in not making her clog worse.”
“Indeed she did,” I tell her, “But I cannot ignore the fact that she did clog the toilet and she did so while representing the school.” “But she certainly saved herself some punishment by flushing her toilet paper separately,” I also point out, “And she saved herself a whole lot of punishment by going in the toilet instead of her pants.” I then sentence Mary to write “I will not clog the toilet in the girls’ room again” 250 times. And I give her the choice of serving 2 days of regular after school detention or serving 3 of her study hall periods sitting on the toilet. Mary eagerly chooses the toilet sitting during study hall – no doubt so as not to interfere with basketball practice after school. “That’s not so bad I guess,” she says, “It’s a lot better than the punishment for going in my pants.” “EXACTLY!” I tell her, “You should be proud of yourself for going in the toilet this time.”
Turning out attention to Coach Musso and the cheerleaders, we first have the case of a sophomore brunette with braces named Becca. Hers is not only an accident case but a doubleheader – that is, she went both ways in her pants. And it, of course, is the more serious offense of having an accident while representing the school. Cheerleaders represent the school just as the basketball team does.
“Mr. Chairman, sir?” she asks, “Can I ask a question?” “Yes, you MAY ask a question,” I tell her. “I know it was wrong of me to go in my panties – especially wetting in them, too,” she says. “But should this really be an accident while representing the school like you said?” she asks, “I don’t think I was really representing the school at the game.” I look at her and Coach Musso puzzled. “I think what she means is that she’s been injured and couldn’t actually cheer at the game,” the lovely cheerleading coach clarifies, “She wants to know if she is still considered to be a cheerleader representing the school when she didn’t actually cheer at the game.” “Did your injury prevent you from going to the girls’ room when you should have?” I ask her. “No sir,” she answers honestly. “The charge against you is correct,” I tell the sophomore. “Even if you didn’t actually cheer at the game, you were there as a member of the cheerleading squad,” I explain, “So that means that you were representing the school and will be punished accordingly.” “Trina didn’t actually play in the basketball game but she’s still on the team and is therefore responsible for an accident while representing the school,” I point out.
“And as to your accident itself, wetting isn’t the worst part,” I point out further, “Soiling in your pants is the more serious offense of the two and it’s that you should be particularly ashamed of.” “I think what she means is that the messing part came first,” Coach Musso clarifies again, “And then she made it worse by also wetting herself.” “I went pee when we first got there and that was in the toilet,” Becca explains for herself, “And I was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to go again for the rest of the night.” “But then I messed in my panties later that night,” she says, “And then when I had to go pee again, I didn’t want to go and use the girls’ room with a mess in my panties.” “I was hoping I could hold it in and wait until we got back to our school,” she adds, “But then I wet myself pretty bad on the bus ride home.” “Saying she wet herself pretty bad on the bus doesn’t quite do it justice,” Coach Musso points out, “At one point, it was rolling down the aisle of the bus for all to see.”
“Well perhaps you shouldn’t have messed in your panties in the first place,” I point out to Becca, “If you’d just have done your bowel movement in the toilet like you’re supposed to, you wouldn’t have had to worry about a mess in your panties later.” “You could have just used the girls’ room before you left,” I point out further, “And we wouldn’t have your urination rolling down the aisle of the bus later.” “Yes sir,” she tells me with her head bowed in shame, “But there were no doors on the toilets.” “And you didn’t want to have a bowel movement in a toilet with no door on the stall?” I ask her. “I don’t even like to do that in a public bathroom when there is a door on the stall,” she answers, “I don’t mind peeing so much, but the only place I like to be doing bowel movements is my toilet at home.” “Well, you’d better learn to do your bowel movements away from home when you need to!” I tell her, a tinge of anger in my voice, “Preferring to go at home is fine, but going in your panties when you can’t get home in time is totally unacceptable.” A quick glance at her school toilet record indicates 3 prior soiling accidents this school year – all of them during the regular school day – including one doubleheader. “You record is quite shameful, young lady,” I tell her bluntly, “I EXPECT to seeing immediate improvement in your toilet habits, Becca.” “I don’t really care if you like them or not, you need to start using public bathrooms for your bowel movements,” I lecture her, “You need to learn that going in a public toilet is certainly better than going in your panties.”
“Yes, sir – I’m trying,” she answers as she begins to cry. “I go in the toilet sometimes in school like when I really need to,” she tells me, “But I just couldn’t go in that bathroom with no doors on he stalls.” “Well, try harder,” I tell the sophomore, “Not wanted to go in a doorless stall is one thing, but we do have doors on the stalls here and still you’ve messed in your panties 3 times.” Yes, sir – I know, sir,” she tells me, “But like I said, I’m trying to do better – I’m doing better than I did last year.” A quick glance at her toilet record indicates 6 soiling accidents last year, although none of them while representing the school. “Yours a pretty shameful toilet record – even for a freshman,” I admonish her, “And it look likes you’re on pace to match it again this year.” “Shameful!” I tell her as the poor girl fights back tears.
Determining Becca’s punishment presents a quandary for the TVPC. With a toilet record as bad as hers and this being a doubleheader accident, she deserves more than the usual 500 times for a 1st accident while representing the school. But I’m not so sure that she deserves a full 1,000 times, either. And I think she would benefit from other punishments more than just long, tedious sentence writing. After careful consideration, I first sentence her to write “I will not soil nor will I wet my panties in school or while cheerleading again” 1,000 times. But I put a caveat on that. “You’ll write 500 of them now – they’ll be due in 1 week,” I tell her, “But I’m not going to make you finish the full 1,000 times – at least not just yet.” “If you can go 2 months without having another accident, then the rest of your writing assignment goes away,” I explain, “But if you do have another accident – and that’s whether the accident is a wetting, a soiling, or a another doubleheader – you’ll have to finish the full punishment.” “And that, of course, will be in addition to the punishment you get for that accident itself,” I explain further, “I hope you understand how serious another accident would be for you then.” “Yes sir – I’m going to really try not to have any more accidents,” she says. “Try really hard,” I advise her, “It’s a lot of writing that you’ve got at stake here.” I also sentence her to write a 1,000 word letter of apology to her cheerleading teammates for what happened on the bus. “They don’t need to be watching your urine roll down the aisle of the bus,” I admonish Becca, “They deserve to be able to ride home from a game without having to look at something like that.” She also gets a week of detention and a week of her 5th period study hall sitting on a toilet in the girls’ room near the gymnasium. Hopefully, this will be her last accident – at least for the next 2 months – or she’s going to be one very sorry young lady. “I EXPECT to see immediate improvement in your toilet habits, Becca,” I tell her again. “Yes sir,” she tells me. Whether her promise and my little incentive plan for her not have any more accidents will work, only time will tell.
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