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Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.
My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of May 25, 2012.
For the first case of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) this afternoon, we have a very familiar face and unfortunately, it’s for a very familiar violation. “Again Tia?” is all I can say as I look at this shy, quiet freshman standing before me once again with a very obvious lump bulging out the back of her loose fitting jeans. “Again Tia?” I ask her again, in disgust of what I see – This is her 7th panty-soiling offense of the school year. “Yes sir,” she answers quietly, her head bowed in shame, “I’m sorry – I’m so sorry.” “You can say you’re sorry all you want,” I tell her, “And I suppose you probably do mean it.” “But it really doesn’t mean much if you just keep messing in your panties,” I explain, “It really doesn’t mean much to say you’re sorry if you still refuse to go do your business in the girls’ room when you need to.” Looking to Tia again, the poor girl just stands here and cries. I really don’t want to be so mean to her – she’s such a sweet, good-natured girl – but her continued messing in her panties is just so frustrating to have to deal with.
Faithful readers of the TVPC may remember Tia from our February 24th session. During that session, I had to first punish the panty-soiling freshman for her 6th panty-soiling violation – The offense occurring right in her English class. It being her 6th panty-soiling offense, I had little choice but to hand her a stern punishment that included a trip to the girls’ room where she was required to clean up her accident right here in school.
Tia did clean herself up from the accident as required (not an easy task using only toilet paper), but foolishly flushed her panties down the toilet without cleaning them. Of course, that only made it worse – Much, MUCH worse – And Tia was brought back to face the TVPC again. This time, I had to punish her even worse than for soiling for the panties in the first place. The cute but toilet troubled freshman then spent the next 3 months on toilet suspension (2 months for actually flushing the soiled panties down the toilet and another month for doing so in violation of a TVPC imposed punishment), regularly wetting and soiling herself throughout the school day. That was, of course, in addition to regular detention, toilet cleaning detention and enough punishment writing to make her arm fall off.
“I was kind of hoping you were doing better, Tia,” I tell the freshman, “You’ve been off toilet suspension for over a month now and this is the first time I’m seeing you here with another accident.” “I thought that maybe the toilet suspension had taught you a lesson,” I continue, “I thought that perhaps after 3 long months of always going in your pants, you’d learn to appreciate being able to use the toilet in school.” “I was really hoping that you had finally started to do your bowel movements in the girls’ room where they belong,” I tell her, “But judging by that load you’ve got in your panties there, it’s back to your old habit of going in your pants instead.” Upon questioning from me, Tia admits that she still only urinates in school and still tries to hold in her bowel movements until she gets home. She tells me that she’s just been lucky for the past month or so that she hasn’t really had to go that bad in school. Consequently, she just hasn’t had any accidents (or so, she says) except for “a few times just a little bit” while on the way home from school. Apparently not having happened in school those “few times” are not matters for the TVPC.
I note that, just like last time, Tia’s accident happened in her English class with Miss Johnson. “Needless to say, I’m getting really tired of this,” Miss Johnson tells us, “This is the 4th time she’s done it in my class alone.” “I asked her if she needed a girls’ room pass – I actually begged her to go and do it in the girls’ room,” the usually sympathetic English teacher points out, “But Tia just sat there in class and messed in her panties.” “That’s just disgusting, Tia – That’s really disgusting,” she tells the freshman, “You really need to learn to go and do that in the toilet instead of your pants.” “You should be ashamed of yourself,” Miss Johnson tells Tia, “You really should be ashamed of yourself.” “Indeed you should be ashamed of yourself,” I also tell Tia, “You absolutely should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.” She’s too upset to actually answer me, but I can tell by the look on her face that she actually is ashamed – Just apparently not quite ashamed enough to stop having these shameful and thoroughly disgusting accidents.”
“I hope you know that that you’re going to the girls’ room again to clean up this accident, too,” I tell her. She lets out an audible groan at that, but I have to believe she fully understood that she was going to have to do that. “Any time from now on that you mess your panties in school, you’re going to have to clean it up in school,” I explain, “Messing in your panties in school and then cleaning it up later at home is no longer an option.” I ask Miss Johnson if she’d like to supervise Tia cleaning up the accident and the English teacher agrees. Normally, I wouldn’t assign such a kind-hearted teacher as Miss Johnson to supervise an “Accident Clean-Up” punishment (I’d worry about her being to easy on the girl), but in this case, I think she’s sufficiently frustrated with Tia to make sure the freshman gets the full impact of her punishment. And I also issue the toilet troubled young lady a stern warning. “This time, you’d better clean your panties like you’re supposed to,” I warn her, “Another offense of flushing your soiled panties down the toilet and you could be spending your entire sophomore year on toilet suspension.” She nods her head that she understands.
In the meantime, I sentence Tia to both a month of after school detention and a month of her 7th period study hall – Both sitting on a toilet in the Main Corridor girls’ room just down the hall from Miss Johnson’s classroom. She’ll also have to write 1,000 times, “I will not soil my panties in school again.” With that Miss Johnson takes the crying freshman by the hand and heads out the door and down the hall to the 2nd Floor girls’ room where Tia will be cleaning up her large and very disgusting fecal mess. That surely won’t be pleasant for her, but obviously she deserves it.
With tears in her eyes, Willow rises for the TVPC next. She’s crying already because she knows how much trouble she is in. Not only did she sneak into a faculty bathroom – specifically, the one in the librarian’s office – and had a bowel movement in there, but she managed to clog and overflow the toilet in the process. Though it’s only her first time this school year (at least the first time she got caught since she’s quite friendly with Mr. Giles, the Librarian) sneaking into a faculty bathroom, clogging a toilet that she shouldn’t have been using in the first place makes this a serious offense. Having a bunch of other toilet offenses on her record this year – (including 3 times soiling in her panties and 1 time wetting them) – won’t help her either when I determine her punishment. Her friends Buffy and Xander are here – apparently to lend moral support – but it’s too bad they couldn’t dissuade her from using a faculty bathroom.
Willow admits that she did sneak into the library bathroom – telling us that she needed to have a bowel movement really bad and didn’t want to use the regular girls’ room – but denies that she did anything to clog it. “I just did my bowel movement and it really wasn’t that much at all,” she explains, “And I was in such a hurry to get done and get out of there, that I barely even wiped myself at all.” “There’s no way that the toilet should have clogged,” the shy, mousey senior asserts, “There just wasn’t enough poop and certainly not enough toilet paper to clog it.”
“But obviously it did clog the toilet,” I point out, “Obviously the toilet didn’t overflow and flood that little bathroom all by itself.” “Or do you think all that water just magically appeared on the floor there?” I ask her sarcastically, “Or maybe the toilet got clogged all by itself?” “No sir,” she acknowledges, “It overflowed when I flushed it, but I just can’t see how I could have clogged it.” “I’m not saying that you clogged it on purpose,” I tell Willow, “In fact, I know you didn’t clog it on purpose.” “I know the last thing you want to do was call attention to yourself using that bathroom,” I point out, “I fully understand that you wanted to get in and out of there before you got caught.” “But obviously you did clog it – You clogged it with your fecal matter and your toilet paper,” I tell her, “And I’m afraid you’re going to have to suffer the consequences for that.” “If you had just done that in the regular girls’ room, I could have gone pretty easy on you,” I explain, “Not having clogged it on purpose it wouldn’t be a serious offense.” “But clogging a toilet that you shouldn’t have been using in the first place – a toilet that only for the teachers and staff members – is quite a different matter,” I explain further, “That’s a chance you take when you sneak in and use a faculty bathroom.”
“That bathroom is just so nice,” Willow says, obviously referring to the one in the librarian’s office. “It’s just so nice and private,” she says, “You can go in there and be all by yourself when you do your business.” “It’s just so much nicer than using the regular girls’ room – especially when you gotta do you know what,” she says, “I just hate doing that in the girls’ room.” “And I had to do that really, really bad and knew I couldn’t hold it in much longer,” she continues, “And I really didn’t want to have another accident in my pants, either.” “I knew I wasn’t supposed to use that bathroom, but I just couldn’t resist,” the senior pleads, “I really didn’t mean to clog the toilet.” “I know you didn’t mean it,” I acknowledge, “But as I said before, that’s a chance you take when you use a toilet you shouldn’t be using in the first place.”
Getting to the matter of her punishment, I first sentence her to write, “I will not do a bowel movement in a faculty bathroom again” 250 times. “But that’ll be 250 times on the blackboard in detention,” I tell her. I also sentence her to a week of her 3rd period study hall sitting on a toilet in the New Edition girls’ room. That’s her punishment just for using the librarian’s office bathroom. “Now comes your punishment for clogging the toilet in there,” I tell her and note for the record, “And that’s going to be 1 week on toilet suspension!” “You’ll not use any school bathroom for any reason for the next week,” I explain, “Then maybe when you get your toilet privileges back, you’ll learn to appreciate using the girls’ room like you should.” So stunned is she with getting placed on toilet suspension that she doesn’t even react when I also sentence her to a week of detention cleaning bathrooms. “I’ll let you do your blackboard writing punishment first,” I tell her, at least sparring her the added agony of having to clean bathrooms that she is forbidden to use while on toilet suspension, “You’ll do your bathroom cleaning punishment when you get your toilet privileges back.”
Through her tears, Willow begs me to reconsider her punishment – especially the 1 week on toilet suspension. “Please not a toilet suspension – Please not that!” she pleads, “I need to use the toilet in school – I can’t go all day without using the toilet.” “Please – I’ll be going in my pants everyday,” she continues, as the tears flow and a TVPC staffer attaches that dreaded red wristband to her wrist. “Please don’t make me go in my pants like that,” she continues pleading, “I know I have accidents sometimes but please don’t make me go in my pants all the time like this.” Xander and Buffy (as well as Mr. Giles) argue on her behalf but it’s to no avail.
“I’m sorry, Willow,” I tell her, “But I’m afraid your punishment is going to stand.” “We just can’t allow students going into faculty bathrooms and clogging the toilet,” I explain, “Next time, when you’re allowed to use them again, you’ll learn to use a girls’ room like you should.” Her toilet sitting sentence for using that faculty bathroom will, of course, be postponed until she gets her privilege to use the school bathrooms restored. In the meantime, she is given a piece of chalk and sent to the blackboards in the back of the room to begin her punishment writing.
Before moving to the next case on the TVPC agenda, it appears we have another matter to deal with. Faithful readers of the TVPC should have no trouble recognizing Libby, a pretty but sometimes disagreeable raven-haired cheerleader. It seems that as of late, she’s been pretty much a regular at our TVPC meetings. She’s walking gingerly and a bit bow-legged as she enters the committee room – the tell-tale sign of a girl with a big load in her pants. That’s not surprising since Libby is currently serving a lengthy toilet suspension. Her jeans are also soaking wet – no doubt the result of wetting her pants as well, perhaps even more than once during the school day today. Of course, I’m wondering what Libby is doing here when she should be down the hall in the 2nd Floor girls’ room scrubbing the toilets – Another part of her punishment in addition to the toilet suspension. Libby was first punished with the double whammy of a toilet suspension and bathroom cleaning punishment for intentionally doing a bowel movement on the girls’ room floor. She did that with the expectation that her rival Sabrina would have to clean it up. She next got both her toilet cleaning punishment and her toilet suspension extended when she tried to frame Sabrina for bathroom teasing. Libby recorded herself cleaning toilets in a wet and soiled cheerleading skirt and spread the video around school. She then claimed it was Sabrina that did it. Obviously, her rivalry with Sabrina has gotten way out of hand.
Mrs. Johns, who is assigned to supervise the toilet cleaning punishments today, is here with Libby. “For your sake, Libby, I really hope this isn’t another toilet violation,” I tell the cheerleader, as I motion her and Mrs. Johns to the podium, “Haven’t you been on toilet suspension long enough already – I hope you didn’t do anything to get that extended again.” “No sir – I didn’t do any violations this time,” Libby responds confidently, “This time I’m here to press charges on someone else.” Looking over at Mrs. Johns, our ace bathroom monitor just shrugs her shoulders and tells us that she has no charges against Libby today.
Cautiously – and I must confess, a tad reluctantly – I ask Libby who she wants to file toilet violation charges against and what those charges are. “It’s Sabrina,” Libby then tells us, “And I’m charging her with Leaving the Toilet Unflushed.” The whole committee room lets out an audible groan – We’ve all heard this kind of story before. “These charges better be legitimate,” I warn Libby, “This better not be you trying to get back at Sabrina again.” “You’re already on toilet suspension for making up a phony charge against Sabrina,” I tell her, “And I certainly won’t hesitate to extend it again, if these charges are bogus as well.” “These are NOT bogus charges,” Libby insists. “Sabrina came in to use the toilet while I was cleaning in the 2nd Floor girls’ room,” Libby explains, “She went into a stall, but I never heard a toilet flush before she came out.” “Then I went over to check and there was a big load in the bowl and lots of toilet paper, too,” she continues, “She left it there on purpose for me to see and so I’d have to flush it myself.” “So you’re saying that Sabrina left it unflushed intentionally?” I ask her. Leaving it unflushed on purpose is, of course, a more serious offense than leaving it unflushed accidentally. “Yes sir, she obviously did it on purpose,” Libby answers.
Looking over at Mrs. Johns, I ask her for an opinion on this. “Libby showed me the unflushed toilet,” Mrs. Johns tells us, “I didn’t see who did it, but somebody certainly did.” “As a matter of fact, there are 2 unflushed toilets with bowel movements in them in the 2nd Floor girls’ room,” the pretty and most efficient bathroom monitor points out, “I’m thinking that whomever did this had an accomplice.” I ask Mrs. Johns if it’s possible that Libby staged this whole thing to get back at Sabrina just like she did last time. “I really doubt it,” Mrs. Johns tells us. Both of those toilets had pretty sizable bowel movements in them and Libby already has a sizeable one in her pants, as well,” she points out, “I find it hard to believe all that came out of Libby today.”
I ask Libby about the 2nd unflushed toilet. She says that she doesn’t care about that one. “It was just one of Sabrina’s stupid friends,” she tells us, “But I’m sure the whole thing was stupid Sabrina’s idea.” “Well, maybe you don’t care but the TVPC certainly does,” I explain, “The TVPC cares about every unflushed toilet, not just the ones that Sabrina does.” Upon further questioning from me, Libby tells us that Clarissa, a bright and articulate junior and friend of Sabrina’s – is responsible for the load left in that toilet.
Fortunately for us, both girls are in detention with the Principal today – Clarissa for disrupting class with her constant talking to no one in particular and Sabrina for bringing her cat, Salem, to school. Of course, I immediately send for them. When the 2 girls arrive in the committee room, I’m stunned by how much alike they look. I’m not saying that they could be sisters – I’m saying they could be the same person. The only difference is that Sabrina looks a little older. But apparently they are just friends and not at all related.
“The jig is up, girls,” I tell them as I hand them each a Violation Report indicating their offense, “Do you want to confess or do you want to make it worse on yourself by lying.” “I guess I did forget to flush,” Sabrina quickly speaks up, “I was in hurry to get to detention and I guess I just forgot.” “Really?” I question her, “I guess it was just a coincidence that you came all the way upstairs just to do your bowel movement in the same bathroom where Libby was cleaning the toilets and you just FORGOT to flush?” “As I said, do you want to just confess or do you want to make it worse on yourself by lying?” I ask her again. With that, Sabrina confesses that she did do it on purpose. “I just wanted to get back at Libby for everything she’s done to me,” Sabrina explains. “I guess it was stupid, but I just wanted to make Libby have to flush my toilet,” she admits, “So I waited to find out what bathroom she was going to be cleaning today and then I went in there, did my bowel movement, and just left it there.” Clarissa similarly confesses. “Libby was saying some nasty stuff about me, so I just wanted to get even,” the pretty but oftentimes eccentric junior tells us. “So I just held it in all day and waited until just after school when we’d know what bathroom to do it in,” she explains, “Then I went with Sabrina to the girls’ room where Libby was and left it there so Libby would have to flush it for us.” I thank both of them for at least owning up to what they did, but I also admonish them for this totally unacceptable toilet behavior. “What would happen if every girl decided not to flush the toilet?” I ask them rhetorically, “The girls’ rooms wouldn’t be very pleasant to use then, would they?”
Getting down to their punishment, each girl will write Libby a 1,000 word letter of apology as well as write a 1,000 word essay on “The Importance of Flushing the Toilet After Using It.” And they’ll each have to write 250 times, “I will not leave the toilet unflushed in the girls’ room in school again.” “And each time either of you have a bowel movement in school, you will have to report that to the TVPC,” I tell them and note for the record, “And you’ll have to tell us what girls’ room you used and which particular toilet you did it in.” “We’ll then check it to make sure that the toilet was flushed,” I explain further, “And you’ll have to do this for the rest of the school year, every time you have a bowel movement in school.” I ask the girls if they understand and they both nod their head “yes.” “As for now, you will each report to the 2nd Floor girls’ room,” I continue, “And not only will you flush your toilet but you’ll scrub that toilet clean.” As for Libby – a broadly smiling Libby, I might add – I thank her for bringing these matters to the attention of the TVPC, but send her back to the girls’ room resume her toilet cleaning duties.
But before I send Sabrina and Clarissa off to flush and clean their toilets, another question is raised. “Mr. Chairman?” comes a voice from the back of the room – that voice belonging to Miss Spellman, a young Math teacher, “May I address the TVPC?” Granting her that permission I motion for her to take the podium. “Clarissa indicated that she was holding it in all day in order to do it in the girls’ room after school,” Miss Spellman points out, “And I’m thinking that maybe Sabrina was holding it in for a while as well.” “Sometimes when you hold it in too long, it comes out in your panties,” she explains, “And it really makes me wonder if Sabrina and Clarissa have had soiling accidents in their panties today.” Not surprisingly, both girls fervently deny that. But still Miss Spellman requests to perform a “Panty Inspection” on each girl. For a “Panty Inspection” a female staff member will take a girl to the girls’ room or other appropriate place and have the girl pull down her pants (or hike up her skirt) and pull down her panties to check to see if the girl has had an accident. Under TVPC rules, girls are required to submit to the “Panty Inspection” when a staff member requests that she does so.
“I think that’s a good idea,” I tell the ever diligent Math teacher (who also looks eerily like the 2 girls), “You can take them down the hall to the 2nd Floor girls ‘room and check their panties there.” “If they’ve had an accident, you can bring them back here and we’ll have them charged with that violation, too,” I point out, “If not, they can just get on with their flushing and cleaning duties in the girls’ room.” Miss Spellman then leads Sabrina and Clarissa out the door and down the hall for their panty inspections. In the meantime, we’ll move on to the next case.
My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of May 25, 2012.
For the first case of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) this afternoon, we have a very familiar face and unfortunately, it’s for a very familiar violation. “Again Tia?” is all I can say as I look at this shy, quiet freshman standing before me once again with a very obvious lump bulging out the back of her loose fitting jeans. “Again Tia?” I ask her again, in disgust of what I see – This is her 7th panty-soiling offense of the school year. “Yes sir,” she answers quietly, her head bowed in shame, “I’m sorry – I’m so sorry.” “You can say you’re sorry all you want,” I tell her, “And I suppose you probably do mean it.” “But it really doesn’t mean much if you just keep messing in your panties,” I explain, “It really doesn’t mean much to say you’re sorry if you still refuse to go do your business in the girls’ room when you need to.” Looking to Tia again, the poor girl just stands here and cries. I really don’t want to be so mean to her – she’s such a sweet, good-natured girl – but her continued messing in her panties is just so frustrating to have to deal with.
Faithful readers of the TVPC may remember Tia from our February 24th session. During that session, I had to first punish the panty-soiling freshman for her 6th panty-soiling violation – The offense occurring right in her English class. It being her 6th panty-soiling offense, I had little choice but to hand her a stern punishment that included a trip to the girls’ room where she was required to clean up her accident right here in school.
Tia did clean herself up from the accident as required (not an easy task using only toilet paper), but foolishly flushed her panties down the toilet without cleaning them. Of course, that only made it worse – Much, MUCH worse – And Tia was brought back to face the TVPC again. This time, I had to punish her even worse than for soiling for the panties in the first place. The cute but toilet troubled freshman then spent the next 3 months on toilet suspension (2 months for actually flushing the soiled panties down the toilet and another month for doing so in violation of a TVPC imposed punishment), regularly wetting and soiling herself throughout the school day. That was, of course, in addition to regular detention, toilet cleaning detention and enough punishment writing to make her arm fall off.
“I was kind of hoping you were doing better, Tia,” I tell the freshman, “You’ve been off toilet suspension for over a month now and this is the first time I’m seeing you here with another accident.” “I thought that maybe the toilet suspension had taught you a lesson,” I continue, “I thought that perhaps after 3 long months of always going in your pants, you’d learn to appreciate being able to use the toilet in school.” “I was really hoping that you had finally started to do your bowel movements in the girls’ room where they belong,” I tell her, “But judging by that load you’ve got in your panties there, it’s back to your old habit of going in your pants instead.” Upon questioning from me, Tia admits that she still only urinates in school and still tries to hold in her bowel movements until she gets home. She tells me that she’s just been lucky for the past month or so that she hasn’t really had to go that bad in school. Consequently, she just hasn’t had any accidents (or so, she says) except for “a few times just a little bit” while on the way home from school. Apparently not having happened in school those “few times” are not matters for the TVPC.
I note that, just like last time, Tia’s accident happened in her English class with Miss Johnson. “Needless to say, I’m getting really tired of this,” Miss Johnson tells us, “This is the 4th time she’s done it in my class alone.” “I asked her if she needed a girls’ room pass – I actually begged her to go and do it in the girls’ room,” the usually sympathetic English teacher points out, “But Tia just sat there in class and messed in her panties.” “That’s just disgusting, Tia – That’s really disgusting,” she tells the freshman, “You really need to learn to go and do that in the toilet instead of your pants.” “You should be ashamed of yourself,” Miss Johnson tells Tia, “You really should be ashamed of yourself.” “Indeed you should be ashamed of yourself,” I also tell Tia, “You absolutely should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.” She’s too upset to actually answer me, but I can tell by the look on her face that she actually is ashamed – Just apparently not quite ashamed enough to stop having these shameful and thoroughly disgusting accidents.”
“I hope you know that that you’re going to the girls’ room again to clean up this accident, too,” I tell her. She lets out an audible groan at that, but I have to believe she fully understood that she was going to have to do that. “Any time from now on that you mess your panties in school, you’re going to have to clean it up in school,” I explain, “Messing in your panties in school and then cleaning it up later at home is no longer an option.” I ask Miss Johnson if she’d like to supervise Tia cleaning up the accident and the English teacher agrees. Normally, I wouldn’t assign such a kind-hearted teacher as Miss Johnson to supervise an “Accident Clean-Up” punishment (I’d worry about her being to easy on the girl), but in this case, I think she’s sufficiently frustrated with Tia to make sure the freshman gets the full impact of her punishment. And I also issue the toilet troubled young lady a stern warning. “This time, you’d better clean your panties like you’re supposed to,” I warn her, “Another offense of flushing your soiled panties down the toilet and you could be spending your entire sophomore year on toilet suspension.” She nods her head that she understands.
In the meantime, I sentence Tia to both a month of after school detention and a month of her 7th period study hall – Both sitting on a toilet in the Main Corridor girls’ room just down the hall from Miss Johnson’s classroom. She’ll also have to write 1,000 times, “I will not soil my panties in school again.” With that Miss Johnson takes the crying freshman by the hand and heads out the door and down the hall to the 2nd Floor girls’ room where Tia will be cleaning up her large and very disgusting fecal mess. That surely won’t be pleasant for her, but obviously she deserves it.
With tears in her eyes, Willow rises for the TVPC next. She’s crying already because she knows how much trouble she is in. Not only did she sneak into a faculty bathroom – specifically, the one in the librarian’s office – and had a bowel movement in there, but she managed to clog and overflow the toilet in the process. Though it’s only her first time this school year (at least the first time she got caught since she’s quite friendly with Mr. Giles, the Librarian) sneaking into a faculty bathroom, clogging a toilet that she shouldn’t have been using in the first place makes this a serious offense. Having a bunch of other toilet offenses on her record this year – (including 3 times soiling in her panties and 1 time wetting them) – won’t help her either when I determine her punishment. Her friends Buffy and Xander are here – apparently to lend moral support – but it’s too bad they couldn’t dissuade her from using a faculty bathroom.
Willow admits that she did sneak into the library bathroom – telling us that she needed to have a bowel movement really bad and didn’t want to use the regular girls’ room – but denies that she did anything to clog it. “I just did my bowel movement and it really wasn’t that much at all,” she explains, “And I was in such a hurry to get done and get out of there, that I barely even wiped myself at all.” “There’s no way that the toilet should have clogged,” the shy, mousey senior asserts, “There just wasn’t enough poop and certainly not enough toilet paper to clog it.”
“But obviously it did clog the toilet,” I point out, “Obviously the toilet didn’t overflow and flood that little bathroom all by itself.” “Or do you think all that water just magically appeared on the floor there?” I ask her sarcastically, “Or maybe the toilet got clogged all by itself?” “No sir,” she acknowledges, “It overflowed when I flushed it, but I just can’t see how I could have clogged it.” “I’m not saying that you clogged it on purpose,” I tell Willow, “In fact, I know you didn’t clog it on purpose.” “I know the last thing you want to do was call attention to yourself using that bathroom,” I point out, “I fully understand that you wanted to get in and out of there before you got caught.” “But obviously you did clog it – You clogged it with your fecal matter and your toilet paper,” I tell her, “And I’m afraid you’re going to have to suffer the consequences for that.” “If you had just done that in the regular girls’ room, I could have gone pretty easy on you,” I explain, “Not having clogged it on purpose it wouldn’t be a serious offense.” “But clogging a toilet that you shouldn’t have been using in the first place – a toilet that only for the teachers and staff members – is quite a different matter,” I explain further, “That’s a chance you take when you sneak in and use a faculty bathroom.”
“That bathroom is just so nice,” Willow says, obviously referring to the one in the librarian’s office. “It’s just so nice and private,” she says, “You can go in there and be all by yourself when you do your business.” “It’s just so much nicer than using the regular girls’ room – especially when you gotta do you know what,” she says, “I just hate doing that in the girls’ room.” “And I had to do that really, really bad and knew I couldn’t hold it in much longer,” she continues, “And I really didn’t want to have another accident in my pants, either.” “I knew I wasn’t supposed to use that bathroom, but I just couldn’t resist,” the senior pleads, “I really didn’t mean to clog the toilet.” “I know you didn’t mean it,” I acknowledge, “But as I said before, that’s a chance you take when you use a toilet you shouldn’t be using in the first place.”
Getting to the matter of her punishment, I first sentence her to write, “I will not do a bowel movement in a faculty bathroom again” 250 times. “But that’ll be 250 times on the blackboard in detention,” I tell her. I also sentence her to a week of her 3rd period study hall sitting on a toilet in the New Edition girls’ room. That’s her punishment just for using the librarian’s office bathroom. “Now comes your punishment for clogging the toilet in there,” I tell her and note for the record, “And that’s going to be 1 week on toilet suspension!” “You’ll not use any school bathroom for any reason for the next week,” I explain, “Then maybe when you get your toilet privileges back, you’ll learn to appreciate using the girls’ room like you should.” So stunned is she with getting placed on toilet suspension that she doesn’t even react when I also sentence her to a week of detention cleaning bathrooms. “I’ll let you do your blackboard writing punishment first,” I tell her, at least sparring her the added agony of having to clean bathrooms that she is forbidden to use while on toilet suspension, “You’ll do your bathroom cleaning punishment when you get your toilet privileges back.”
Through her tears, Willow begs me to reconsider her punishment – especially the 1 week on toilet suspension. “Please not a toilet suspension – Please not that!” she pleads, “I need to use the toilet in school – I can’t go all day without using the toilet.” “Please – I’ll be going in my pants everyday,” she continues, as the tears flow and a TVPC staffer attaches that dreaded red wristband to her wrist. “Please don’t make me go in my pants like that,” she continues pleading, “I know I have accidents sometimes but please don’t make me go in my pants all the time like this.” Xander and Buffy (as well as Mr. Giles) argue on her behalf but it’s to no avail.
“I’m sorry, Willow,” I tell her, “But I’m afraid your punishment is going to stand.” “We just can’t allow students going into faculty bathrooms and clogging the toilet,” I explain, “Next time, when you’re allowed to use them again, you’ll learn to use a girls’ room like you should.” Her toilet sitting sentence for using that faculty bathroom will, of course, be postponed until she gets her privilege to use the school bathrooms restored. In the meantime, she is given a piece of chalk and sent to the blackboards in the back of the room to begin her punishment writing.
Before moving to the next case on the TVPC agenda, it appears we have another matter to deal with. Faithful readers of the TVPC should have no trouble recognizing Libby, a pretty but sometimes disagreeable raven-haired cheerleader. It seems that as of late, she’s been pretty much a regular at our TVPC meetings. She’s walking gingerly and a bit bow-legged as she enters the committee room – the tell-tale sign of a girl with a big load in her pants. That’s not surprising since Libby is currently serving a lengthy toilet suspension. Her jeans are also soaking wet – no doubt the result of wetting her pants as well, perhaps even more than once during the school day today. Of course, I’m wondering what Libby is doing here when she should be down the hall in the 2nd Floor girls’ room scrubbing the toilets – Another part of her punishment in addition to the toilet suspension. Libby was first punished with the double whammy of a toilet suspension and bathroom cleaning punishment for intentionally doing a bowel movement on the girls’ room floor. She did that with the expectation that her rival Sabrina would have to clean it up. She next got both her toilet cleaning punishment and her toilet suspension extended when she tried to frame Sabrina for bathroom teasing. Libby recorded herself cleaning toilets in a wet and soiled cheerleading skirt and spread the video around school. She then claimed it was Sabrina that did it. Obviously, her rivalry with Sabrina has gotten way out of hand.
Mrs. Johns, who is assigned to supervise the toilet cleaning punishments today, is here with Libby. “For your sake, Libby, I really hope this isn’t another toilet violation,” I tell the cheerleader, as I motion her and Mrs. Johns to the podium, “Haven’t you been on toilet suspension long enough already – I hope you didn’t do anything to get that extended again.” “No sir – I didn’t do any violations this time,” Libby responds confidently, “This time I’m here to press charges on someone else.” Looking over at Mrs. Johns, our ace bathroom monitor just shrugs her shoulders and tells us that she has no charges against Libby today.
Cautiously – and I must confess, a tad reluctantly – I ask Libby who she wants to file toilet violation charges against and what those charges are. “It’s Sabrina,” Libby then tells us, “And I’m charging her with Leaving the Toilet Unflushed.” The whole committee room lets out an audible groan – We’ve all heard this kind of story before. “These charges better be legitimate,” I warn Libby, “This better not be you trying to get back at Sabrina again.” “You’re already on toilet suspension for making up a phony charge against Sabrina,” I tell her, “And I certainly won’t hesitate to extend it again, if these charges are bogus as well.” “These are NOT bogus charges,” Libby insists. “Sabrina came in to use the toilet while I was cleaning in the 2nd Floor girls’ room,” Libby explains, “She went into a stall, but I never heard a toilet flush before she came out.” “Then I went over to check and there was a big load in the bowl and lots of toilet paper, too,” she continues, “She left it there on purpose for me to see and so I’d have to flush it myself.” “So you’re saying that Sabrina left it unflushed intentionally?” I ask her. Leaving it unflushed on purpose is, of course, a more serious offense than leaving it unflushed accidentally. “Yes sir, she obviously did it on purpose,” Libby answers.
Looking over at Mrs. Johns, I ask her for an opinion on this. “Libby showed me the unflushed toilet,” Mrs. Johns tells us, “I didn’t see who did it, but somebody certainly did.” “As a matter of fact, there are 2 unflushed toilets with bowel movements in them in the 2nd Floor girls’ room,” the pretty and most efficient bathroom monitor points out, “I’m thinking that whomever did this had an accomplice.” I ask Mrs. Johns if it’s possible that Libby staged this whole thing to get back at Sabrina just like she did last time. “I really doubt it,” Mrs. Johns tells us. Both of those toilets had pretty sizable bowel movements in them and Libby already has a sizeable one in her pants, as well,” she points out, “I find it hard to believe all that came out of Libby today.”
I ask Libby about the 2nd unflushed toilet. She says that she doesn’t care about that one. “It was just one of Sabrina’s stupid friends,” she tells us, “But I’m sure the whole thing was stupid Sabrina’s idea.” “Well, maybe you don’t care but the TVPC certainly does,” I explain, “The TVPC cares about every unflushed toilet, not just the ones that Sabrina does.” Upon further questioning from me, Libby tells us that Clarissa, a bright and articulate junior and friend of Sabrina’s – is responsible for the load left in that toilet.
Fortunately for us, both girls are in detention with the Principal today – Clarissa for disrupting class with her constant talking to no one in particular and Sabrina for bringing her cat, Salem, to school. Of course, I immediately send for them. When the 2 girls arrive in the committee room, I’m stunned by how much alike they look. I’m not saying that they could be sisters – I’m saying they could be the same person. The only difference is that Sabrina looks a little older. But apparently they are just friends and not at all related.
“The jig is up, girls,” I tell them as I hand them each a Violation Report indicating their offense, “Do you want to confess or do you want to make it worse on yourself by lying.” “I guess I did forget to flush,” Sabrina quickly speaks up, “I was in hurry to get to detention and I guess I just forgot.” “Really?” I question her, “I guess it was just a coincidence that you came all the way upstairs just to do your bowel movement in the same bathroom where Libby was cleaning the toilets and you just FORGOT to flush?” “As I said, do you want to just confess or do you want to make it worse on yourself by lying?” I ask her again. With that, Sabrina confesses that she did do it on purpose. “I just wanted to get back at Libby for everything she’s done to me,” Sabrina explains. “I guess it was stupid, but I just wanted to make Libby have to flush my toilet,” she admits, “So I waited to find out what bathroom she was going to be cleaning today and then I went in there, did my bowel movement, and just left it there.” Clarissa similarly confesses. “Libby was saying some nasty stuff about me, so I just wanted to get even,” the pretty but oftentimes eccentric junior tells us. “So I just held it in all day and waited until just after school when we’d know what bathroom to do it in,” she explains, “Then I went with Sabrina to the girls’ room where Libby was and left it there so Libby would have to flush it for us.” I thank both of them for at least owning up to what they did, but I also admonish them for this totally unacceptable toilet behavior. “What would happen if every girl decided not to flush the toilet?” I ask them rhetorically, “The girls’ rooms wouldn’t be very pleasant to use then, would they?”
Getting down to their punishment, each girl will write Libby a 1,000 word letter of apology as well as write a 1,000 word essay on “The Importance of Flushing the Toilet After Using It.” And they’ll each have to write 250 times, “I will not leave the toilet unflushed in the girls’ room in school again.” “And each time either of you have a bowel movement in school, you will have to report that to the TVPC,” I tell them and note for the record, “And you’ll have to tell us what girls’ room you used and which particular toilet you did it in.” “We’ll then check it to make sure that the toilet was flushed,” I explain further, “And you’ll have to do this for the rest of the school year, every time you have a bowel movement in school.” I ask the girls if they understand and they both nod their head “yes.” “As for now, you will each report to the 2nd Floor girls’ room,” I continue, “And not only will you flush your toilet but you’ll scrub that toilet clean.” As for Libby – a broadly smiling Libby, I might add – I thank her for bringing these matters to the attention of the TVPC, but send her back to the girls’ room resume her toilet cleaning duties.
But before I send Sabrina and Clarissa off to flush and clean their toilets, another question is raised. “Mr. Chairman?” comes a voice from the back of the room – that voice belonging to Miss Spellman, a young Math teacher, “May I address the TVPC?” Granting her that permission I motion for her to take the podium. “Clarissa indicated that she was holding it in all day in order to do it in the girls’ room after school,” Miss Spellman points out, “And I’m thinking that maybe Sabrina was holding it in for a while as well.” “Sometimes when you hold it in too long, it comes out in your panties,” she explains, “And it really makes me wonder if Sabrina and Clarissa have had soiling accidents in their panties today.” Not surprisingly, both girls fervently deny that. But still Miss Spellman requests to perform a “Panty Inspection” on each girl. For a “Panty Inspection” a female staff member will take a girl to the girls’ room or other appropriate place and have the girl pull down her pants (or hike up her skirt) and pull down her panties to check to see if the girl has had an accident. Under TVPC rules, girls are required to submit to the “Panty Inspection” when a staff member requests that she does so.
“I think that’s a good idea,” I tell the ever diligent Math teacher (who also looks eerily like the 2 girls), “You can take them down the hall to the 2nd Floor girls ‘room and check their panties there.” “If they’ve had an accident, you can bring them back here and we’ll have them charged with that violation, too,” I point out, “If not, they can just get on with their flushing and cleaning duties in the girls’ room.” Miss Spellman then leads Sabrina and Clarissa out the door and down the hall for their panty inspections. In the meantime, we’ll move on to the next case.
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