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CONTINUED FROM PART 2
Just as I’m about to move on to the last item on today’s TVPC agenda, it appears that we have another case. Just entering the room is Mrs. Johns, our ace hall monitor and she brings with her Tinsley, a pretty and vivacious cheerleader. I’m a bit surprised to see Tinsley here rather than in the New Edition boys’ room where she should be scrubbing the toilets and the urinals. She’s been cleaning boys’ rooms after school for several weeks now – serving a stern sentence of 1 month of after-school toilet cleaning punishment. This was a punishment not imposed by us but by the other TVPC at our school. It was a punishment for her participation in a rather disgusting and toilet-related senior prank.
It seems that this cheerleader, along with her boyfriend Freddie, who is QB of the football team, and another young man named Donnie were part of a plan to defecate in the boys’ room urinals throughout the school. While it was only Freddie who actually did drop his monster bowel movement in a urinal (and he is currently suffering through a toilet suspension for that), Tinsley and Donnie each received a month of bathroom cleaning punishment (along with 1,000 sentences to write) for their participation in such a vile and disgusting prank. Since then Tinsley (and Donny as well) has been busy at work mopping floors, emptying garbage cans, refilling toilet paper holders, scrubbing off graffiti, wiping down sinks and most of all, scrubbing toilets and urinals in the school boys’ rooms as per her punishment
Consequently, I’m quite puzzled as to why Mrs. Johns has brought Tinsley here to the TVPC session this afternoon when the gorgeous cheerleader should be fulfilling her toilet cleaning assignment for the day – specifically, scrubbing the toilets and urinals in the New Edition boys’ room. So, as this case begins, your guess is as good as mine as to what it’s about.
“I caught her actually using the toilet instead of cleaning it,” Mrs. Johns reports, “When I went in there to check on her, she was in a stall wiping herself.” “And when I say wiping herself, I mean a lot of wiping,” she clarifies, “She’s was definitely wiping up after a bowel movement, although I’m pretty sure she urinated as well.” “Her punishment, obviously, is detention time cleaning the toilets, not using them,” the hall monitor adds, “Especially considering that she was in a boys’ room at the time.”
“I WAS cleaning the toilets and I’ve been cleaning toilets for close to a month now and I didn’t even take a dump in the urinal in the first place,” Tinsley tells us in anger. “Geez, I can’t even take a 3-minute bathroom break,” she argues, “I can’t even take a shit when I need to.” “Take a WHAT?” I ask her. “As I recall, you had to do an extra writing assignment for your language at your last TVPC session,” I remind her, “Did you like doing all that extra work?” “I’m sorry, sir,” she answers, obviously getting my point, “I mean to say that I had to do a bowel movement and that is what I was doing when Mrs. Johns came in.” “I mean I guess I did pi - - , err, I mean urinate a little bit, too,” she clarifies, “But the main reason that I was using the toilet was to take a sh - - , err, I mean take a bowel movement.”
“The problem is that you were on bathroom cleaning punishment,” I remind her, “Not to mention that you were in the boys’ room.” Tinsley looks about ready to explode with anger, but she wisely stops and composes herself before speaking again. “I had to go to the bathroom for a bowel movement and I had to go bad,” she argues, “So I sat down and used the toilet that was right there.” “Do you really think that I would’ve used a toilet in the boys’ room if I could have avoided it?” she explains, “They are even more disgusting than the girls’ rooms and that is really saying something.” “What did you expect me to do? – Go in my pants?” she says, “Like you wouldn’t be punishing me for that, too.” “I expect you to go to the girls’ room before starting your punishment,” I explain, “It’s no different than regular detention – there are no girls’ room passes issued during toilet cleaning detention, either.” “You go before detention starts or you wait until it’s over,” I tell her. “And you’d be wise to watch your tone, young lady,” I warn our cheerleader, “Unless you want to see your name at the top of a lot of sheets of writing paper.”
“You are guilty both of violating your bathroom cleaning punishment and using a toilet in the boys’ room,” I tell her and note for the record, “And that’s specifically having a bowel movement in the boys’ room – a slightly more serious offense than merely urinating in the boys’ room.” “For doing a bowel movement in the boys’ room, you’ll do 3 hours of detention time sitting on a toilet in the GIRLS’ room,” I tell her and again note for the record, “And for violating your toilet cleaning punishment, you’ll have 3 more days of toilet cleaning punishment added on to your sentence.”
“FUCK!” she shouts, obviously unable to control her anger any longer, “Just for taking a shit, I gotta do 3 more days of cleaning those fucking disgusting boys’ rooms.”
“Yes,” I tell her, “And you’ll also write 500 times, “I will not use profanity at meetings of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee again.” “And that will also be 2,000 times writing the phrase ‘Bowel Movement’” I add, “That’s 1,000 times for each time you used that other word instead of the appropriate phrase.” Tinsley is then escorted back to the New Edition boys’ room to resume cleaning the toilets and the urinals as per her assignment for the day.
The last item of business for the TVPC today is not so much a toilet violations case as it is a TVPC inquiry. If what we suspect is true, however, then toilet violations charges will indeed be filed very soon. The subjects of our inquiry are Heather C., a beautiful but nasty and conceited junior and Veronica, a very bright and friendly junior whose change of friends and change of behavior has caused me concern. When we last saw these two friends they, along with friends Heather M. and Heather D., all received some detention and punishment writing for “Loitering in the Girls’ Room.” Heather C. had a worse day than the rest, though, because she also got punished for “Bathroom Harassment” for teasing another girl who was using the girls’ room for it’s intended purposes while the Heathers (and Veronica) were in there loitering. Accordingly, Heather C. picked up some additional punishment including having to write, “I will not harass other girls in the girls’ room in school again.” 500 times.
“What do you want with us now?” Heather snaps at me, “What did we do now that you have to make us sit here next to all these girls who can’t even use the toilet when they need to.” “Heather! Stop!” Veronica admonishes her friend, undoubtedly aware that a bad attitude is never a good thing when appearing before the TVPC. “What is this about, sir?” Veronica asks politely. “I understand that you’re very good at faking other people’s handwriting,” I ask Veronica, “Does that include your friend Heather’s handwriting, as well?” “I guess so,” Veronica answers, still quite puzzled as to what this is all about.
Getting to the crux of the matter, I hold up Heather’s 500 times writing assignment – the one she had to write on the “Bathroom Harassment” charge. I also hold up the writing assignment that Heather had to do on the “Loitering in the Girls’ Room” charge – that punishment was 200 times. “I’d certainly say the handwriting looks like a match,” I tell the girls. “I noticed, though, that when you wrote the 500 times you only wrote on one side of the paper,” I explain to Heather, “But when you wrote the 200 times you wrote on both sides of the paper.” There’s nothing particularly wrong with that as TVPC rules leave it up to the girl being punished whether to write on one side or two sides of the paper and different girls do it different ways. It just seems a little strange, though, that Heather would write hers two different ways. “We are just a little curious as to why you did them differently,” I ask Heather, “Is there any reason why you wrote the longer punishment on only one side of the paper?” “I don’t know,” Heather mumbles unconvincingly. Next, I hold up the 200 times that Veronica had to write as her punishment for “Loitering in the Girls’ Room.” “It seems that you wrote yours on only one side of the paper,” I explain to Veronica, “Exactly like Heather did her 500 times.” “Yes, sir,” Veronica mumbles, clearly feigning puzzlement. But the expression on the faces of both of these girls tells me all that I need to know.
“How about we speed things along here, girls?” I ask them, “Who is going to make the confession first and tell me exactly what happened.” Both girls remain silent as I try to wait them out, staring them down. “The longer I have to wait, the longer you two will be spending in detention,” I warn them. “I did it, but I guess you already know that,” Veronica confesses, “I wrote the 500 times for Heather.” I ask Heather if this is true. “It was Veronica’s dweebette friend Betty that got me in trouble in the first place,” Heather explains, “I figured it was the least she could do for me.” Veronica just shakes her head at Heather’s attitude – no doubt wondering how she got herself entangled in it.
“We’ll get back to that in a minute,” I tell them, “But first things first.” “Heather will now write the sentence 1,000 times,” I announce, “And Veronica will now write it 500 times.” “Um – I already wrote 500 times for something I didn’t do, sir,” Veronica explains. “Good!” I tell her, “Now, you’ll write 500 more for something that you did do.” “So far, you each have 3 days in detention,” I explain, “How much more you get depends upon how quickly we get to the bottom of this.” Slowly, the whole story begins to unravel. Veronica and Heather C. went to a party at nearby Remington University a while ago and apparently something happened at that party. Apparently something embarrassing happened to Veronica at that party and Heather is using it to blackmail her. I press on for details with my threat of more detention fresh in their minds.
“I got sick and puked all other the hallway carpet,” Veronica quickly confesses. “That’s hardly news, young lady,” I tell a very worried looking Veronica, “Heather already told everyone about that – I’ve heard it so many times myself I feel like I saw it in a movie or something.” “There’s no way she could use that to blackmail you,” I explain, “I want to know the real blackmail secret that you don’t want people to know.” “Out With It!” I demand. “Puking wasn’t the only bodily function that Veronica lost control of that night,” Heather answers, “She lost control of something else, as well.” “Actually she lost control of two other things,” she says with a smile and a giggle, “Little Miss Perfect went in her pants BOTH ways.” Upon questioning, Veronica confirms the story. “Heather knew what I did at the party and that I didn’t want anyone to find out,” a mortified Veronica explains, “She said that if I didn’t write the 500 times for her, she’d tell everyone at school that I went both ways in my pants.” “I guess that would be really embarrassing for you,” I tell Veronica (who has no accident violations at all on her school toilet record), “But they were accidents – it’s not like you got arrested for shoplifting or something like that.” As this party was certainly not a school function, Veronica’s doubleheader accident at the party is not a matter for the TVPC.
“OK – So now everybody knows about your doubleheader accident,” I tell them both, “So that better put an end to any more blackmail attempts.” But this does raise a concern for the TVPC. I have to wonder if this is the first time that Veronica ever wrote a writing punishment for Heather C. or anyone else, for that matter. They both deny that it’s ever happened before, but we can’t be sure of that. “You have until the TVPC session tomorrow to confess if it’s ever happened before,” I tell them, “If you confess to it, you’ll get detention and more writing punishment just like today.” “But we’re going to check all your previous writings,” I warn them, “And if we find one that you haven’t confessed to on your own, you’re not only getting detention and writing punishment – you’ll be getting a toilet suspension as well.”
Part of me can certainly sympathize with Veronica’s situation (we can certainly understand why she’d want to keep her accident, especially a doubleheader, a secret) but there can be no excuse for doing another girl’s punishment for her. It may seem harsh, but her punishment for this scheme will stand. I certainly hope that Veronica is smart enough to confess if this has happened before. I certainly wouldn’t mind the opportunity to put Heather C. on toilet suspension, but I would hate for that to happen to Veronica. I still can’t understand why Veronica became friends with Heather C. and the other Heathers, (unlike Heather C., Betty was a true friend to her), and I fear that this “friendship” will only get poor Veronica in more trouble.
So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:17 PM.
Just as I’m about to move on to the last item on today’s TVPC agenda, it appears that we have another case. Just entering the room is Mrs. Johns, our ace hall monitor and she brings with her Tinsley, a pretty and vivacious cheerleader. I’m a bit surprised to see Tinsley here rather than in the New Edition boys’ room where she should be scrubbing the toilets and the urinals. She’s been cleaning boys’ rooms after school for several weeks now – serving a stern sentence of 1 month of after-school toilet cleaning punishment. This was a punishment not imposed by us but by the other TVPC at our school. It was a punishment for her participation in a rather disgusting and toilet-related senior prank.
It seems that this cheerleader, along with her boyfriend Freddie, who is QB of the football team, and another young man named Donnie were part of a plan to defecate in the boys’ room urinals throughout the school. While it was only Freddie who actually did drop his monster bowel movement in a urinal (and he is currently suffering through a toilet suspension for that), Tinsley and Donnie each received a month of bathroom cleaning punishment (along with 1,000 sentences to write) for their participation in such a vile and disgusting prank. Since then Tinsley (and Donny as well) has been busy at work mopping floors, emptying garbage cans, refilling toilet paper holders, scrubbing off graffiti, wiping down sinks and most of all, scrubbing toilets and urinals in the school boys’ rooms as per her punishment
Consequently, I’m quite puzzled as to why Mrs. Johns has brought Tinsley here to the TVPC session this afternoon when the gorgeous cheerleader should be fulfilling her toilet cleaning assignment for the day – specifically, scrubbing the toilets and urinals in the New Edition boys’ room. So, as this case begins, your guess is as good as mine as to what it’s about.
“I caught her actually using the toilet instead of cleaning it,” Mrs. Johns reports, “When I went in there to check on her, she was in a stall wiping herself.” “And when I say wiping herself, I mean a lot of wiping,” she clarifies, “She’s was definitely wiping up after a bowel movement, although I’m pretty sure she urinated as well.” “Her punishment, obviously, is detention time cleaning the toilets, not using them,” the hall monitor adds, “Especially considering that she was in a boys’ room at the time.”
“I WAS cleaning the toilets and I’ve been cleaning toilets for close to a month now and I didn’t even take a dump in the urinal in the first place,” Tinsley tells us in anger. “Geez, I can’t even take a 3-minute bathroom break,” she argues, “I can’t even take a shit when I need to.” “Take a WHAT?” I ask her. “As I recall, you had to do an extra writing assignment for your language at your last TVPC session,” I remind her, “Did you like doing all that extra work?” “I’m sorry, sir,” she answers, obviously getting my point, “I mean to say that I had to do a bowel movement and that is what I was doing when Mrs. Johns came in.” “I mean I guess I did pi - - , err, I mean urinate a little bit, too,” she clarifies, “But the main reason that I was using the toilet was to take a sh - - , err, I mean take a bowel movement.”
“The problem is that you were on bathroom cleaning punishment,” I remind her, “Not to mention that you were in the boys’ room.” Tinsley looks about ready to explode with anger, but she wisely stops and composes herself before speaking again. “I had to go to the bathroom for a bowel movement and I had to go bad,” she argues, “So I sat down and used the toilet that was right there.” “Do you really think that I would’ve used a toilet in the boys’ room if I could have avoided it?” she explains, “They are even more disgusting than the girls’ rooms and that is really saying something.” “What did you expect me to do? – Go in my pants?” she says, “Like you wouldn’t be punishing me for that, too.” “I expect you to go to the girls’ room before starting your punishment,” I explain, “It’s no different than regular detention – there are no girls’ room passes issued during toilet cleaning detention, either.” “You go before detention starts or you wait until it’s over,” I tell her. “And you’d be wise to watch your tone, young lady,” I warn our cheerleader, “Unless you want to see your name at the top of a lot of sheets of writing paper.”
“You are guilty both of violating your bathroom cleaning punishment and using a toilet in the boys’ room,” I tell her and note for the record, “And that’s specifically having a bowel movement in the boys’ room – a slightly more serious offense than merely urinating in the boys’ room.” “For doing a bowel movement in the boys’ room, you’ll do 3 hours of detention time sitting on a toilet in the GIRLS’ room,” I tell her and again note for the record, “And for violating your toilet cleaning punishment, you’ll have 3 more days of toilet cleaning punishment added on to your sentence.”
“FUCK!” she shouts, obviously unable to control her anger any longer, “Just for taking a shit, I gotta do 3 more days of cleaning those fucking disgusting boys’ rooms.”
“Yes,” I tell her, “And you’ll also write 500 times, “I will not use profanity at meetings of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee again.” “And that will also be 2,000 times writing the phrase ‘Bowel Movement’” I add, “That’s 1,000 times for each time you used that other word instead of the appropriate phrase.” Tinsley is then escorted back to the New Edition boys’ room to resume cleaning the toilets and the urinals as per her assignment for the day.
The last item of business for the TVPC today is not so much a toilet violations case as it is a TVPC inquiry. If what we suspect is true, however, then toilet violations charges will indeed be filed very soon. The subjects of our inquiry are Heather C., a beautiful but nasty and conceited junior and Veronica, a very bright and friendly junior whose change of friends and change of behavior has caused me concern. When we last saw these two friends they, along with friends Heather M. and Heather D., all received some detention and punishment writing for “Loitering in the Girls’ Room.” Heather C. had a worse day than the rest, though, because she also got punished for “Bathroom Harassment” for teasing another girl who was using the girls’ room for it’s intended purposes while the Heathers (and Veronica) were in there loitering. Accordingly, Heather C. picked up some additional punishment including having to write, “I will not harass other girls in the girls’ room in school again.” 500 times.
“What do you want with us now?” Heather snaps at me, “What did we do now that you have to make us sit here next to all these girls who can’t even use the toilet when they need to.” “Heather! Stop!” Veronica admonishes her friend, undoubtedly aware that a bad attitude is never a good thing when appearing before the TVPC. “What is this about, sir?” Veronica asks politely. “I understand that you’re very good at faking other people’s handwriting,” I ask Veronica, “Does that include your friend Heather’s handwriting, as well?” “I guess so,” Veronica answers, still quite puzzled as to what this is all about.
Getting to the crux of the matter, I hold up Heather’s 500 times writing assignment – the one she had to write on the “Bathroom Harassment” charge. I also hold up the writing assignment that Heather had to do on the “Loitering in the Girls’ Room” charge – that punishment was 200 times. “I’d certainly say the handwriting looks like a match,” I tell the girls. “I noticed, though, that when you wrote the 500 times you only wrote on one side of the paper,” I explain to Heather, “But when you wrote the 200 times you wrote on both sides of the paper.” There’s nothing particularly wrong with that as TVPC rules leave it up to the girl being punished whether to write on one side or two sides of the paper and different girls do it different ways. It just seems a little strange, though, that Heather would write hers two different ways. “We are just a little curious as to why you did them differently,” I ask Heather, “Is there any reason why you wrote the longer punishment on only one side of the paper?” “I don’t know,” Heather mumbles unconvincingly. Next, I hold up the 200 times that Veronica had to write as her punishment for “Loitering in the Girls’ Room.” “It seems that you wrote yours on only one side of the paper,” I explain to Veronica, “Exactly like Heather did her 500 times.” “Yes, sir,” Veronica mumbles, clearly feigning puzzlement. But the expression on the faces of both of these girls tells me all that I need to know.
“How about we speed things along here, girls?” I ask them, “Who is going to make the confession first and tell me exactly what happened.” Both girls remain silent as I try to wait them out, staring them down. “The longer I have to wait, the longer you two will be spending in detention,” I warn them. “I did it, but I guess you already know that,” Veronica confesses, “I wrote the 500 times for Heather.” I ask Heather if this is true. “It was Veronica’s dweebette friend Betty that got me in trouble in the first place,” Heather explains, “I figured it was the least she could do for me.” Veronica just shakes her head at Heather’s attitude – no doubt wondering how she got herself entangled in it.
“We’ll get back to that in a minute,” I tell them, “But first things first.” “Heather will now write the sentence 1,000 times,” I announce, “And Veronica will now write it 500 times.” “Um – I already wrote 500 times for something I didn’t do, sir,” Veronica explains. “Good!” I tell her, “Now, you’ll write 500 more for something that you did do.” “So far, you each have 3 days in detention,” I explain, “How much more you get depends upon how quickly we get to the bottom of this.” Slowly, the whole story begins to unravel. Veronica and Heather C. went to a party at nearby Remington University a while ago and apparently something happened at that party. Apparently something embarrassing happened to Veronica at that party and Heather is using it to blackmail her. I press on for details with my threat of more detention fresh in their minds.
“I got sick and puked all other the hallway carpet,” Veronica quickly confesses. “That’s hardly news, young lady,” I tell a very worried looking Veronica, “Heather already told everyone about that – I’ve heard it so many times myself I feel like I saw it in a movie or something.” “There’s no way she could use that to blackmail you,” I explain, “I want to know the real blackmail secret that you don’t want people to know.” “Out With It!” I demand. “Puking wasn’t the only bodily function that Veronica lost control of that night,” Heather answers, “She lost control of something else, as well.” “Actually she lost control of two other things,” she says with a smile and a giggle, “Little Miss Perfect went in her pants BOTH ways.” Upon questioning, Veronica confirms the story. “Heather knew what I did at the party and that I didn’t want anyone to find out,” a mortified Veronica explains, “She said that if I didn’t write the 500 times for her, she’d tell everyone at school that I went both ways in my pants.” “I guess that would be really embarrassing for you,” I tell Veronica (who has no accident violations at all on her school toilet record), “But they were accidents – it’s not like you got arrested for shoplifting or something like that.” As this party was certainly not a school function, Veronica’s doubleheader accident at the party is not a matter for the TVPC.
“OK – So now everybody knows about your doubleheader accident,” I tell them both, “So that better put an end to any more blackmail attempts.” But this does raise a concern for the TVPC. I have to wonder if this is the first time that Veronica ever wrote a writing punishment for Heather C. or anyone else, for that matter. They both deny that it’s ever happened before, but we can’t be sure of that. “You have until the TVPC session tomorrow to confess if it’s ever happened before,” I tell them, “If you confess to it, you’ll get detention and more writing punishment just like today.” “But we’re going to check all your previous writings,” I warn them, “And if we find one that you haven’t confessed to on your own, you’re not only getting detention and writing punishment – you’ll be getting a toilet suspension as well.”
Part of me can certainly sympathize with Veronica’s situation (we can certainly understand why she’d want to keep her accident, especially a doubleheader, a secret) but there can be no excuse for doing another girl’s punishment for her. It may seem harsh, but her punishment for this scheme will stand. I certainly hope that Veronica is smart enough to confess if this has happened before. I certainly wouldn’t mind the opportunity to put Heather C. on toilet suspension, but I would hate for that to happen to Veronica. I still can’t understand why Veronica became friends with Heather C. and the other Heathers, (unlike Heather C., Betty was a true friend to her), and I fear that this “friendship” will only get poor Veronica in more trouble.
So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:17 PM.
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