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  • Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

    Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

    My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of September 19, 2012.

    Our first case before the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) this afternoon is actually a case from yesterday’s girls’ soccer game. Miss Spellman, Math teacher and Head Coach of the team is happy to report that the team remained undefeated with a victory yesterday. But she is disappointed to report of a toilet violation by a member of her team. And as faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, toilet violations by those who represent the school (such as soccer players in a game) are punished more severely than toilet violations occurring in the regular course of the school day.

    As I look over the Violation Report filed by Coach Spellman in this case, it comes as no surprise that the accused is the star player of the team – a tall and very beautiful junior named Hope. Hope has had a multitude of panty-soiling offenses (and even an offense of panty-wetting), including at soccer games last year. And this year already, she’s had a panty-soiling offense while waiting to get her athletic physical exam from the school doctor back in August. But as I look over the Violation Report further, I am quite surprised to see that Hope is not actually charged with a panty-soiling violation this time.

    “No panty-soiling this time?” I ask Miss Spellman, “Can it really be that Hope actually did it in the toilet instead?” “YES!” Hope chimes in enthusiastically. “Not exactly!” Coach Spellman quickly counters that. “You know that I went in the toilet,” Hope tells her coach angrily, “I know that I’ve had some accidents sometimes, but you know very well that I did it in the toilet yesterday.” “You know very well that I didn’t do any of it in my panties yesterday,” the very pretty Soccer star adds.

    “Alright, you did actually go in the toilet yesterday,” the very pretty Soccer coach acknowledges, “You went in the toilet in the girls’ locker room when we got back here after yesterday’s game.” “But you didn’t go in the port-o-potty at the Soccer game like you should have,” she argues, “You held it in all through the game and waited until you got back here.” “O.K. – But I did go in the toilet,” Hope points out again, “I didn’t have an accident.” “You’re lucky you didn’t have an accident,” Coach Spellman points out, “You’re very luck it didn’t come out in your panties either at the game or on the bus ride home.” “You’re even lucky it didn’t come out while you were running for the locker room bathroom after we got back here,” she adds. “You were being just as irresponsible about this as you were being last year,” Coach Spellman lectures her Soccer star, “You haven’t learned your lesson at all – You were just really lucky not to have an accident this time.” The 2 of them continue to argue a bit as I’m forced to bang my gavel and get this case back on track.

    But as I read the Violation Report filed in this case and listen to the arguments of Hope and Coach Spellman, I’m left a bit puzzled. While it is abundantly clear how irresponsible Hope was being by holding it in so long – Especially given her propensity for having accidents – I’m not sure specifically what her toilet violation was. Of course, I ask Coach Spellman to clarify this. “You’re acknowledging that Hope did, in fact, make it to the toilet in time?” I ask the very pretty Soccer Coach, “You’re acknowledging that Hope didn’t go in her panties at all?” “Yes, Mr. Chairman,” she acknowledges. “But Hope didn’t go to the bathroom at the game when she needed to,” she explains, “She risked having yet another accident by refusing to use the port-o-potty at the game.” “But she didn’t have an accident,” I point out to the coach, “I’m just not seeing specifically what Hope’s toilet violation is in this case.” “But Hope is supposed to use the bathroom at the game – even if it’s just a port-o-potty,” Coach Spellman points out, “It’s refusing to use port-o-pottys and holding it in too long that causes her to have so many accidents.” “But she didn’t have an accident this time,” I point out again, “It’s not a toilet violation just to hold it in longer than she should.”

    With that, Hope flashes her coach a smug look. That draws a warning from me. “I’d watch my attitude if I were you,” I warn the beautiful Soccer star – quite possibly the best goalie in the whole state, “Regardless of whether you committed a toilet violation in this case, your toilet habits are still nothing to be proud of.” Coach Spellman then explains that she imposed a requirement on Hope that Hope had to use the bathroom at all soccer games. “I don’t want her holding it in unnecessarily,” the coach explains, “I want her using the bathroom when she needs to and not trying to hold it in until we get back to our school.” “Ever since that accident she had while we were doing the athletic physicals, I made that a condition for her,” the coach continues, “At every game, she must use the bathroom – She’s simply not allowed to hold it in as long as she did yesterday.”

    While Coach Spellman’s decree that Hope use the bathroom may seem perfectly reasonable, it does present a dilemma for the TVPC. Obviously, Hope should be using the bathroom at Soccer games,” I point out, “With her history of accidents, trying to hold it in the whole game is the last thing she should be doing.” “But I’m afraid it just isn’t a toilet violation,” I continue, “It’s simply not a matter for the TVPC to deal with.” The coach argues that the TVPC did impose toileting conditions on Hope last year, but I explain that last year was last year and that came only after Hope was punished by the TVPC for having an accident at a Soccer game. But she also argues that Hope has had an accident already this year – specifically, when she was here back in August for her athletic physical from the school doctor. “I imposed that toileting requirement on Hope after that accident,” she adds, “That was just disgusting what she did that day – And making the school doctor do the exam while Hope had a big load in her panties.” But the coach’s argument only makes my point even more. “That accident was only Hope’s first toilet offense of the school year and it wasn’t while representing the school,” I point out, “As disgusting and shameful as it was, Hope can only get a warning for that.” “We just simply can’t impose any TVPC punishments on Hope for that.” Of course, that serves to bring a big smile to Hope’s face. That angers me.

    “Wipe that smile off your face, young lady,” I tell her, “You’ve got nothing to be happy about here.” “I really wish the TVPC could punish you for this,” I tell her, “Your coach is right that your holding it in so long was irresponsible and it’s only asking for you to have another accident.”

    “And just because the TVPC can’t punish you for this doesn’t mean that you’re home free,” I tell Hope, “There is still the matter of defying your coach’s orders.” The beautiful Soccer goalie just looks at me puzzled. “Just because the TVPC can’t punish you, doesn’t mean that your coach can’t,” I explain, “It may not be a toilet violation, but you certainly can be punished for not listening to your coach.” Suddenly the smug smile is gone from Hope’s face and it’s Coach Spellman who is smiling now. “I’m certain that Coach Spellman can think up an appropriate punishment for this,” I point out – with a smile – to a suddenly worried Hope, “And before you’re done with that, you may be wishing you had a TVPC punishment instead.”

    “And you should also understand something else, young lady,” I tell Hope sternly, “If you continue to hold it in at Soccer games like you do, it’s only a matter of time before you do have an accident in your pants.” “And when that happens, you’ll be right back here before the TVPC,” I explain, “And don’t for a minute think I won’t be considering how irresponsible you’ve been with your bodily functions while representing the school.” “In other words, when you do have a mess in your panties, you can count on getting the maximum punishment that TVPC rules will allow me to impose,” I warn her, “So I think it would really be in your best interests to just go in the toilet instead.” “Trust me when I tell you,” I warn her further, “Even using a port-o-potty wouldn’t be worse than the punishment you’ll get for an accident at a soccer game.

    I’m quite disappointed to see that our next 2 case are of seniors soiling in their panties. It’s bad enough when the younger girls do it, but by the time a girl is a senior, you’d really expect that she’d have mastered the task of having a bowel movement in the girls’ room at school.

    Winnie (Gwendolyn is her real name, but everyone calls her “Winnie”) is the first such case today. She was caught with the load in her panties during her 7th period Calculus class. “I’m not sure if she actually had the accident in my class or if she’d already done it when she came in,” reports Mrs. Denominator, her teacher, “I just know that the load was there in her pants during 7th period class.” “I was in the middle of teaching,” the Calculus teacher points out, “And suddenly I saw some girls in the back of the room reacting like they smelled something.” “And when I went over and checked on it, it wasn’t too hard to figure out where the smell was coming from,” she says, “It was coming right from the seat of Winnie’s pants.” Hearing this case really makes me WONDER.YEARS from now, will Winnie still be going in her pants?

    Turning my attention to the sweet and likeable brown-haired senior, I ask her what the story is. “I started to do it in my panties during 6th period,” she explains, “But I only had a little in my panties when I first got to Calculus class.” “It was then during Calculus class that I did the rest in my pants,” Winnie tells us, “I was trying to hold it in but eventually the whole thing just came out in my pants.” “I guess that’s when everyone else started to smell it,” she says, “And that’s when Mrs. Denominator came over and caught me.”

    I’m left just shaking my head. “I guess that explains HOW you did it,” I tell her disapprovingly, “But it certainly doesn’t explain WHY you did it.” “I’d just like to know why you just sat there in class and messed in your pants,” I tell her, “I’d just like to know why didn’t just go to the girls’ room and do it in the toilet like you were supposed to.” “I’d like to know, too, Winnie,” Lois – That is, Mrs. Denominator, chimes in, “I know that you certainly do use the girls’ rooms on occasion.” “I know I’ve seen you having bowel movements in the girls’ room before,” she tells the pretty senior, “I just don’t know why you didn’t use the girls’ room this time.” But Winnie just looks at both of us with a blank look on her face. “I don’t know – I just didn’t,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. “You don’t know why you didn’t go to the girls’ room when you needed to?” I ask her. “I’m sorry – I just didn’t,” she says, a little annoyed, “I don’t know why but I just didn’t.”

    Once again, I’m just left shaking my head. “Shame on you!” I admonish her, “A mess in your pants at your age.” “You’re a senior now for Pete’s sake,” I remind her, “And you just sit there in class and mess in your pants.” “Shame on you!” I admonish her again. “How can you just not go to the girls’ room when you needed to,” asks Mrs. Denominator. “You know my policy about girls’ room passes,” she tells the girl, “You knew all that you had to do was ask and you could have gone to the girls’ room.” “It was too late for that,” Winnie states meekly, “It was already coming out in my pants by then.” “Then why didn’t you ask to go in your previous class!” her Math teacher shouts back at her strongly. “The point is that you should have gone to the girls’ room BEFORE it started coming out in your pants,” she continues, “You don’t just sit there and mess in your pants.” Once again, Winnie can offer no explanation as to why she went in her pants instead of going to the girls’ room.

    You deserve to be punished,” I tell Winnie sternly, “Any girl who just sits there in class and messes in her pants and can’t even tell me why certainly deserves some unpleasant consequences for doing that.” But since this is Winnie’s first accident offense of the school year and she has no other toilet violations, all I can give her is a warning. “Consider yourself warned, young lady,” I tell her, “Mess in your panties again and you will be punished.” “And don’t expect that you’ll only get the usual punishments for your accidents,” I warn her further, “You’re a senior now, for Pete’s sake – You’re supposed to set an example for the younger girls.”

    Another senior with a shameful load in her panties is Clarissa, a bright, but quite eccentric blonde-haired beauty. Even more shameful for her is the fact that her accident apparently happened in study hall. Whereas, girls are generally discouraged from going to the girls’ room on class time, study halls are when they are encouraged to take care of such business.

    “She just sat there and went in her pants,” reports Miss Sherwood, an English teacher who was in charge of the study hall, “She didn’t even ask for a girls’ room pass.” “I wish I could have charged her with doing it on purpose,” Miss Sherwood continues, “But I don’t have any proof of that.” Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that a girl who soils her panties on purpose gets punished more severely than a girl who merely has an accident. But under TVPC rules, going in your pants on purpose is a very hard charge to prove – It means that the girl didn’t even try to hold it in. “She didn’t make any attempt at all to go to the girls’ room and do it in the toilet like she should,” the pretty English teacher notes, “But I just can’t say that she wasn’t trying to hold it in while she sat there in study hall.” “It may be an accident according to TVPC rules,” she lectures Clarissa, “But it’s not like you didn’t know what was going to happen if you failed to go to the girls’ room and take care of it.”

    Clarissa’s guilt is abundantly clear – The load is quite evident in the seat of her tan pants – But it’s still a puzzling case. Clarissa certainly has had her share of toilet violations over the years – including a good many accidents in her pants. But it does seem very much unlike her to just sit there in study hall and mess in her pants. She’s hardly a shy girl in general (quite the opposite, in fact) and she’s never been shy to have a bowel movement in the girls’ rooms here. In fact, I think she’d be more likely to brag about having a bowel movement in school than to be reluctant to do one. But when I ask her about this and why she didn’t go do it in the girls’ room, she really has no answer. “I just didn’t,” she says, “I was trying to hold it in instead.” “I obviously didn’t do it on purpose, though,” Clarissa says in her defense, a tad annoyed at such a suggestion, “That’s just gross!” “If you ask me, what you’ve got in your panties right there is pretty gross, too,” I suggest, “I really don’t see how it’s any less gross because you were trying to hold it in while it happened.” The usually talkative Clarissa really has no answer to that, either – She just insists that hers was indeed an accident. “I was trying to hold it in – I was trying my best to hold it in,” Clarissa insists, “It was just an accident – No way did I mess in my panties on purpose.”

    “I think the point is that you shouldn’t have been trying to hold it in,” Miss Sherwood points out, “You should have gotten a girls’ room pass from me and taken care of your business in there.” “What do you think happens when you try to hold it in too long?” Miss Sherwood asks the attractive senior, “It eventually just comes out on its own and you have a mess in your pants.”

    “It’s Clarissa’s first accident offense of the school but unlike Winnie, Clarissa has a previous violation already this year for loitering in the girls’ room. Consequently, she’s not entitled to get off with just a warning as Winnie did. I sentence Clarissa to write “I will not soil my panties in school again” 150 times and to serve 2 days in detention. “2 days detention?” she asks, apparently a little surprised to get that for a first accident offense. “You’re a senior now, young lady,” I tell her, “If you’re going to be that irresponsible with your bodily functions, don’t expect any sympathy from me.”

    Another girl with a load in her panties this afternoon is a cute and quiet blonde-haired sophomore named Tia. She’s apparently picking up right where she left off last year. Last year, she messed in her panties 7 times and that doesn’t even count the number of times she messed in her panties while serving a 3 month toilet suspension for trying to flush a pair of her messy panties down the toilet. And this year, it’s already her second time with a mess in her panties. It’s really quite a shameful record for the shy sophomore.

    “I know you’re shy about your bowel movements – I know you don’t like to do them in the girls’ room at school,” I tell her, “But you just can’t keep doing your bowel movements in your pants.” That’s just disgusting,” I tell her, pointing to the messy load that’s causing her plaid skirt to bulge outward, “That’s really disgusting.” “You’re just going to have to learn to do your bowel movements in the girls’ room,” I tell her sternly, “These messes in your panties have simply got to stop.” “I know,” she says, nodding her head as the tears roll down her cheeks. “But I just can’t stand making in the bathrooms at school,” she says, “I go pee in there, but I just can’t stand to make.”

    “It happened in French class today,” reports Miss Defequer, her French teacher, “I was lecturing at the blackboard and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tia squirming in her seat.” “I turned and I saw that look in her eyes,” she says, “That unmistakable look that she needed to get to a toilet NOW!” “But before I could offer her a girls’ room pass, I saw a different look in her eye,” her French teacher says disappointingly, “That was the look that says it was already too late – the look that told me that it was already in her pants.” “And if that wasn’t evidence enough, it wasn’t long before I could smell it, too,” Miss Defequer adds, “That was a big load that she did and it had a big smell to go with it.”

    Already very embarrassed, the sweet and likeable, but very shy sophomore, certainly has no reason to stop crying now. “Shame on you!” I tell her harshly, “Shame on you for not even trying to go to the girls’ room.” “Shame on you!” I tell her again, “You’ve simply got to start doing your bowel movements in the girls’ room when you need to.”

    “Just ask me for a girls’ room pass when you need to go,” the ever helpful French teacher tells her toilet-troubled student, “I’ll give you a pass so you can go and use the toilet like you should.” “It really isn’t so bad using the girls’ room in school,” she continues, “I mean, I know it isn’t perfect, but surely it’s better than just going in your pants.” “You don’t want to keep getting punished for having accidents – You don’t want to keep having smelly loads in your panties,” Miss Defequer suggests to Tia, “You can just go to the girls’ room and use the toilet and avoid all that.” She further suggests to Tia that she should try using the girls’ room during class time. “I know the girls’ rooms can get busy and loud and crowded between classes and at lunchtime,” she says, “But if you get a pass and go during class time it’ll be more private and quiet in there and it’ll be easier for you to just do what you need to do.” It’s pretty good advice and Tia seems to be taking it to heart, but I doubt it’s the first time that’s been suggested to her.

    In the meantime, I punish her with having to write 250 times, “I will not soil my panties in school again.” I also sentence her to 3 days in detention. “Obviously you understand by now that the punishment gets worse for repeat offenders,” I warn her, “And I’m sure you know how bad those punishments can get if you keep messing in your panties.”

  • #2
    Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

    I next call the name of Kaley, a tall, gorgeous blonde. She is not actually charged with a toilet violation today, but is being called before the TVPC as a reminder that she has some punishment assignments due. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, when girls are given a punishment assignment (whether it be repetitive sentence writing or having to write a punishment essay), they have 1 week in which to complete it. And it was 1 week ago today that Kaley was before the TVPC and got her punishment for “Bathroom-Related Teasing” – a particularly egregious case of bathroom-related teasing.

    Also here at the TVPC meeting this afternoon is Mrs. Johns – our ace bathroom monitor. Mrs. Johns has had a rough time as of late as she’s suffering through a lengthy toilet suspension – a consequence of her foolishly trying to flush a pair of her soiled panties down the toilet in the librarian’s office bathroom. Normally, staff members such as Mrs. Johns are not subject to TVPC punishments, but given the serious nature of this particular offense, I could not let Mrs. Johns continue to work for the TVPC if she wouldn’t accept a TVPC punishment for her own very serious offense. Accordingly, Mrs. Johns is currently on toilet suspension and she’s got the wet and messy panties today as evidence of that.

    Getting to the matter at hand today, I turn to address Kaley. “It seems you thought it funny to tease Mrs. Johns about her being on toilet suspension,” I remind the beautiful but oftentimes nasty junior , “Leaving a box of Pampers with her name on it in the faculty room, must have seemed pretty funny at the time.” “Do you still think its funny now?” I ask Kaley bluntly. “No sir,” she tells me contritely, “It wasn’t funny at all.” “I wouldn’t think it would be funny – especially after all the punishment you got because of it,” I tell her, “A 500 times writing assignment, a 1,000 word apology essay and 2 weeks in detention should certainly make you think twice about what you did.” “And you can consider yourself lucky that you didn’t wind up joining Mrs. Johns on toilet suspension yourself,” I point out. “Yes sir – I know that,” she tells me, “I wrote about that in part of my apology essay to Mrs. Johns.”

    Moving on the business at hand, I first ask Kaley about that apology essay. “That essay is due today,” I remind her, “I trust that you have it completed.” “Yes sir,” she tells me, as she holds it up for me to see, “A 1,000 word letter of apology to Mrs. Johns.” I then direct her to hand it directly to Mrs. Johns. “I trust you’ll check it over and make sure it’s in good order,” I tell our ace bathroom monitor. “I will Mr. Chairman,” she tells me.

    But that’s not the only written assignment that Kaley has due today. I also sentenced her to write “I must learn that it’s totally unacceptable to tease someone – especially a staff member – over their bodily functions and I promise never to do it again” 500 times. “I trust you’ve also completed your 500 times assignment?” I ask her. “I um um um didn’t quite finish it, sir,” she tells me, holding up a thick packet of papers, “I did most of it, but I just couldn’t quite finish it.” “That was a really long sentence to write 500 times,” she says, “I’m sorry I didn’t finish it.” “You don’t need to apologize to me, young lady,” I explain, “You’re the one who’s going to have to suffer the consequences of not having it done on time.” “How many sentences have you completed?” I ask her. “I wrote it 425 times,” an unusually contrite Kaley tells me, “I still have 75 more to write.” “Actually, now you have 150 more to write,” I explain, “When you don’t finish an assignment on time we double it.” “The 150 times are due in another week,” I explain further, “And trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to still have it unfinished a week from now.” “Yes sir, I’ll get it done this time,” she assures me. “I certainly hope so, young lady,” I warn her, “Next time, we not only double what you haven’t finished, but we also put you on toilet suspension until you do get it done.” “I’ll get it done, I promise,” she assures me again. I hope she does.

    Our next case involves Claudia, a cute and petite junior. She is well known to TVPC readers for her frequent panty-soiling accidents. It seems that Claudia simply does not like doing her bowel movements in the school girls’ rooms and frequently winds up going in her pants instead. Today, though, it seems that Claudia did indeed have a bowel movement in the girls’ room – specifically, the girls’ room in the Science Wing of the school. The TVPC would normally be praising the friendly and likeable junior for doing the right thing. But Claudia is, however, currently on toilet suspension and using the girls’ room on toilet suspension is a very serious offense.

    The poor girl is already in tears as I call her to the podium to address this charge. “I just didn’t want to mess in my panties again,” Claudia meekly tells us as the tears flow. “Well, that’s a noble sentiment,” I tell her, “But that’s unfortunately what happens sometimes when you’re on toilet suspension.” “Yes sir – I understand that,” she says, “But it doesn’t make it any easier to just sit there in class and mess in my pants.” “Unfortunately, you’ve been on toilet suspension quite a bit,” I remind her, “With that and all the times you’ve messed in your pants of your own volition, I’d think you’d be used to it by now.” “You never get used to it, sir,” Claudia explains, “No matter how many times I’ve messed in my pants, I never get used to it.” “I hate how it feels having the mess in my panties,” she says, “You just never can get used to that feeling.”

    “For not liking how it feels, it sure seems to happen a lot,” I tell her. “I’ve really been trying to do better,” she says, “I think I’m getting a little too old to be going in my pants so much.” “I think you’ve gotten WAY TOO OLD to be doing that,” I tell the junior, “But right now you’ve got a toilet suspension to serve and you know the rules about that.” “If only you’d have used the regular girls’ room back in June instead of sneaking into the nurse’s office toilet,” I remind her, “You wouldn’t be on toilet suspension now and you wouldn’t be here now about to be punished.” “Yes sir,” she acknowledges, apologizing for what she did.

    “But like I said before, I’m really trying to do better,” Claudia continues, “I just don’t want to go in my pants anymore.” She goes on to tearfully explain that during her time on toilet suspension so far, she’s messed in her panties a lot. “I hate that – I really want to do it in the toilet now,” she tells me, “I can’t say I really want to have to do it in the girls’ room at school but I know it’s better than going in my pants all the time.” She further explains that today after school she had an interview for a prestigious music academy. Claudia is quite the accomplished violinist. “I really want to take lessons at the academy,” Claudia explains, “And I needed to have a good interview.” “I just couldn’t go to the interview with a mess in my panties – I just couldn’t,” she tells us, “And if I didn’t go in the girls’ room today, I definitely would have had an accident.” “Please sir – I only used the girls’ room because I didn’t want to have a mess in my panties,” she begs, “I just couldn’t have a mess in my panties today.” “I’ve messed in my panties plenty of times on toilet suspension already,” she begs further, “Can’t you just give me a break this one time?” “Do you know how embarrassing it would be to go to my interview with a mess in my panties?” she asks.

    “I would imagine it would be very embarrassing,” I tell Claudia, “But such is the consequence of being on toilet suspension.” “That’s why girls try to avoid getting put on toilet suspension in the first place,” I point out, “That’s why you should have known better than to sneak into the nurse’s toilet last June.” “I’m sorry, Claudia,” I tell the sweet, likeable but very toilet-troubled junior, “But rules are rules and it’s the duty of the TVPC to enforce them.” “I like how you now seem willing to go in the toilet instead of your pants,” I mention to her, “But when you’re on toilet suspension, going in your pants is just what you have to do sometimes.” “And I’m afraid this time, you’re going to have to be punished for using the toilet,” I point out, the irony evident.

    Hearing that, Claudia next begs for leniency – specifically, that I not make her toilet suspension any longer. “I’ll do the detentions and write out the lines,” she suggests, “But please just don’t give me any more time on toilet suspension.” “I just want to be able to use the girls’ room like everybody else,” she pleads, “I just don’t want to go in my pants anymore.” “I’m just so sick of toilet suspension – I’m just so sick of going in my pants,” she continues in tears, “Please just don’t make my toilet suspension any longer.” But once again, I have bad news for poor Claudia.

    “I’m sorry, Claudia,” I tell her, “But when you use the girls’ room on toilet suspension, you get a longer toilet suspension.” With that, I sentence her to 3 more weeks on toilet suspension. “3 more weeks?” she reacts with horror, “Pleeeeeese! Noooooo!” “Yes,” I tell her, “2 additional weeks is the minimum punishment for violating a toilet suspension and I’m afraid I’m going to have to give you a little more than the minimum.” With that, Claudia just buries her face in her hands crying – too distraught to argue any more. I also sentence the toilet-troubled junior to write 1,000 times, “I will not use the girls’ room while on toilet suspension again” and to serve 2 weeks detention.

    “I know it’s going to be rough serving those 3 extra weeks,” I tell her, “But you’re just going to have to do it.” “Whatever you do, don’t violate your toilet suspension again,” I warn her, “Use the girls’ room again while on toilet suspension and you may never get your toilet privileges back.”

    The last item on today’s agenda is a bit of committee business. Unfortunately, I’m forced to call before the TVPC our very lovely Cheerleading Coach Miss Musso. The spandex-clad Miss Musso almost lost her position as Cheerleading Coach due to the several panty-soiling accidents she’s had over the years while serving as Cheerleading Coach. These soiling accidents are serious matters because as faithful readers of the TVPC know, accidents while representing the school (as the cheerleaders and their coach do) are more serious than accidents that happen in school. And, of course, while accidents by our cheerleaders are indeed shameful, an accident by a cheerleading coach is even worse. It seems that while Miss Musso doesn’t have a problem doing her bowel movements at our school – no doubt a condition of being able to use the much nicer faculty bathroom facilities that we have here for teachers – doing so at other schools while coaching the cheerleaders is a different story. It is there that she must use the regular public girls’ room facilities just like her cheerleaders. And those facilities are never the greatest and sometimes are nothing more than port-o-potties.

    This year Miss Musso has promised us that using those kinds of facilities at other schools will not be a problem for her. Unfortunately, we’ve heard that before from her only to eventually see her with a big load of nasty fecal matter stretching out the seat of the lovely red spandex shorts she is known to wear. But in spite of her shameful toilet problems, Miss Musso is an outstanding Cheerleading coach and we would really hate to lose her.

    Accordingly, we allowed her to return as Cheerleading Coach, but only if she agreed to certain conditions. In addition to agreeing to be bound by TVPC rules just like the girls are, once such condition is that for every game or any event with the cheerleaders, Miss Musso must file a report with the TVPC detailing her own toilet-related behavior on the trip. The most recent report that Miss Musso filed was for Saturday’s football game over at Capeside High School. It is about that report that a question has been raised and it is that report which I’m holding in my hand now.

    “It says here in your report that you didn’t need to do a bowel movement at the game,” I question Coach Musso, “It says that you had a bowel movement in the toilet at home before you even got to school that day and that you didn’t have to go again that afternoon.” “Yes sir,” she tells me, “I urinated in the girls’ room just before halftime of the game and that was all that I had to do while I was there.” “Well, that is indeed what the report you filed says,” I point out, “My only question is whether or not that’s what really happened Saturday.”

    Next, I turn my attention to Mrs. Duncan, the Assistant Band Director. “I’m sorry, Grace,” she says to the shapely Cheerleading Coach, “But I saw you holding it in at the game.” Grace – That is, Miss Musso – suddenly gets a look of panic on her face. “I was in the girls’ room with you just before halftime,” the pretty and outgoing Mrs. Duncan continues, “And you’re correct to say that you only urinated at the time, but that definitely wasn’t all that you needed to do.” “I offered to hold the stall door closed for you so you could have your privacy to do a bowel movement,” Mrs. Duncan recounts – the stall doors at Capeside High apparently lacking proper locks for privacy, “You said you didn’t have to go, but I think we both know better than that.” “And in case I did have any doubts, don’t you think that everyone saw you running for the bathroom as soon as we got back here.” “I was worried you weren’t going to make it,” the Assistant Band Director adds.” “I did make it – I did go in the toilet,” Miss Musso quickly points out, “I didn’t mess in my panties at all – I did the whole thing in the toilet.”

    “Unfortunately, Grace, that’s not good enough this time,” I tell Miss Musso. “We both know that you’re not allowed to be holding it in unnecessarily at games or other cheerleading events,” I remind her, “We both know that if you’re at a game and you have to go, you’re required to go and use whatever bathroom facilities they have available there.” “I’m indeed happy that you managed not to mess in your panties this time,” I tell her, “But whose to say what’s going to happen when you hold it in too long next time.” “There’s simply no reason why you should have been holding it in the whole 2nd half of the game and on the bus ride home,” I tell her forcefully, “That’s precisely when accidents are bound to happen.” “And it’s a violation of the conditions you agreed to when you took the job as Cheerleading Coach this year,” I point out, “And you lied about it in your report to the TVPC, to boot.” “Yes sir, Mr. Chairman,” she responds dejectedly – obviously she doesn’t like hearing that.

    “I’m sorry, Grace,” Mrs. Duncan tells her friend, “But we have to set the example for proper toilet behavior – Especially while representing the school.” “Yeah Right!” an angry Miss Musso fires back, “Why don’t you tell us all about the big load you left unflushed in the toilet there.” “What kind of an example is it not flushing the toilet when you’re done?” she asks Mrs. Duncan, “Especially, when you drop a poop like an elephant.” “I didn’t leave the toilet unflushed,” Mrs. Duncan argues back, “It’s just that I-um clogged the toilet.” I quickly bang my gavel to end this discussion before it gets too far off course. “This matter is about you, Grace,” I tell the Cheerleading Coach, “I’m afraid that you’re the one that has the toileting requirements, not Mrs. Duncan. “Well, I guess so,” she acknowledges, “But if she’s going to be preaching about setting the proper example, she shouldn’t be leaving her enormous poop sitting there in the toilet.” Once again, I’m forced to bang my gavel.

    Moving on to Miss Musso’s punishment, I need to send a strong message that deviating from her imposed toileting conditions will not be tolerated nor will filing a false report with this committee. “First of all, you’ll file a corrected report of your toilet behavior at last Saturday’s game,” I explain, “And then you’ll copy it by hand 25 times.” “You’ll also write ‘I will not unnecessarily hold in my bowel movements again’ 250 times,” I add.

    One of the other conditions of Miss Musso’s continuation as Cheerleading Coach is that on Monday every week, she must only use the student girls’ rooms in school. This is so she’ll be used to using them and not have any problem when she has to use the student girls’ rooms at games and cheerleading events. She must also have at least one bowel movement per week – her first bowel movement at school every week – in the student girls’ room. “For the next 2 weeks, you’ll use the student girls’ rooms on Tuesdays as well,” I tell her and note for the record, “And you’ll have ALL your bowel movements in school in the girls’ room, too.” Miss Musso lets out an audible groan at hearing that.

    “I better not have any more problems with your about this,” I warn her. “Hold it in unnecessarily again you may find yourself using the student girls’ room all the time,” I warn her further, “And if you file a phony report with the TVPC again, you may find yourself barred from using any bathroom at all.” I hope that my stern warning gets the message across.

    Just as I’m about to close this afternoon’s session of the TVPC, I once again hear from Mrs. Duncan. “I guess I violated the toilet rules at the game myself,” she says, “I did clog the toilet when I did a bowel movement in there.” “Obviously, I didn’t clog the toilet on purpose,” she points out, “But I’m afraid I did clog it pretty bad.” “But teachers aren’t subject to TVPC jurisdiction,” I point out to the Assistant Band Director, “Miss Musso is a special case since we’ve had accident problems with her before.” “I don’t recall you ever having any accident problems at games or otherwise,” I explain, “So the TVPC rules don’t apply to you.” “I know that I don’t have accidents, but that’s no reason that the rules shouldn’t apply to me,” she says, “I should have to follow the school toilet rules just like everyone else and get punished if I break one.” “I meant what I said before that teachers had to set a good example for the students,” she adds, “If I broke the school toilet rules, I want to get punished, too.” “Well, I don’t really WANT to get punished,” she clarifies, “I just feel that my getting punished is the right thing to do.” After much discussion, the pretty and outgoing Mrs. Duncan insists that I give her the appropriate punishment for clogging the toilet at the game.

    Describing the details of her offense, she tells me that right before halftime of the game she went to the girls’ room there and had a bowel movement. “It was a big bowel movement,” she says, “And it took a lot of toilet paper to wipe myself, too.” “When I tried to flush it all, it just wouldn’t go down,” she says, “It got clogged and the water came all the way up to the rim of the bowl.” This, of course, constitutes a “Category #2” clog – that is, clogging a toilet with a bowel movement and toilet paper. That’s more serious than a “Category #1” (clogging with a bowel movement only), but it’s still not a serious offense – especially since Mrs. Duncan obviously didn’t do it on purpose. And obviously, it’s only Mrs. Duncan’s first toilet offense of any kind. Still, I have to take into consideration that this happened while she was representing the school.

    For punishment, I sentence her to write 250 times, “I will not clog the toilet at football games or any other time again.” And I give her the choice of a single day of detention cleaning the girls’ room or 3 days of detention sitting on the toilet. Mrs. Duncan chooses the 3 days of toilet sitting detention. “That’ll be done in the girls’ room in the hallway by the band room,” I specify. That’s also near the gym and auditorium so they’ll likely be a lot of students around to see their teacher sitting on the toilet for punishment.

    So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 3:52 PM.

    Comment


    • #3
      Kaley's Punishment Essay

      NAME: Kaley

      TVPC Punishment Apology Essay

      Offense: Bathroom-Related Teasing

      Offense Date: 9/12/2012

      Length: 1,000 Words

      Due Date: 9/19/2012


      Dear Mrs. Johns:

      I am very sorry for teasing you for being on toilet suspension and having to go to the bathroom in your pants so much. It was very wrong of me to send a box of Pampers to you and I am very sorry that I did it. I guess at the time I thought it was funny but now I realize that it wasn’t funny at all. I don’t why I thought it would be funny in the first place. Now I know it was just mean and cruel to do that to you. Once again, I am very sorry for what I did.

      I know that you are on toilet suspension and toilet suspension is a very serious punishment. You’re not allowed to go to the bathroom at school at all. That is not something that I should be making fun of. I actually shouldn’t be making fun of anybody over their toilet habits – whether it’s for going in the toilet or going in her panties – but I especially shouldn’t be making fun of someone who’s serving a serious punishment like a toilet suspension. And I especially shouldn’t be making fun of staff members like you and their toilet habits. What I did was sort of double whammy. I was making fun of a staff member and someone serving a serious punishment like a toilet suspension. That was really wrong of me. I don’t know what I was thinking when I sent you that box of Pampers. I can only say that I am very sorry for what I did and I hope you can accept my apology.

      As I wrote, a toilet suspension is a very serious punishment and it shouldn’t be made fun of. Fortunately, I have never been on toilet suspension myself and I guess I’m really fortunate that I didn’t get a toilet suspension this time. But I do have 2 friends who have been on toilet suspension and they both told me that it’s the worst punishment they’ve ever had to endure. They described it to me and it does seem really bad, but they told me that you really can’t understand how bad it really is unless you experience it for yourself. I’ll just take their word for it, but I really don’t want to experience it for myself.

      It must be awful to be on toilet suspension and have to go all day without being able to use the bathroom in school. It must be awful coming to school each day and knowing that when you need to go to the bathroom, you just can’t do it. It must awful to be here in school and feel the urge to go to the bathroom and then just having to hold it in and hoping you can hold it in long enough to make it home or somewhere else where there is a toilet that you can use. But worst of all, I guess, is when you really can’t hold it in any longer and it does come out in your pants. I can’t imagine what it must feel like when you know you just can’t hold it in any longer and it jus starts coming out in your pants. And then when it’s actually in your pants and you have to walk around for the rest of the school day like that. And even when that does happen, you know you can’t go to the girls’ room to take care of yourself – You just have to wait and deal with having wet and messy panties for the rest of the school day. I just can’t imagine how bad that must feel. I’m just glad that I’ve never had to go through that and I hope that I never will. But you know how bad it must be to be on toilet suspension and I really sorry if I made it worse for you by teasing you like I did. I had no business trying to make you feel worse about what you were already going through. Sending you that box of Pampers was a really stupid thing to do and I’m very sorry for doing it. Mrs. Johns, I know you didn’t deserve what I did to you.

      As I wrote, I am lucky I’ve never been on toilet suspension – Especially after what I did to you. But that’s not to say that I haven’t been punished. I really have been punished for what I did to you. In addition to writing this 1,000 word letter of apology, I have to write 500 times, “I must learn that it’s totally unacceptable to tease someone – especially a staff member – over their bathroom functions and I promise never to do it again.” That’s a really long sentence and it’s going to take a really long time to write. And I also have to serve 2 weeks of detention and I’m serving that now. The detention is really boring. It’s not that I’m complaining about my punishment – I know that I deserve it – But I just want to tell you that I am being punished a lot. Even without my punishment, I am very sorry for what I did. But just in case I wasn’t sorry enough already, I have my punishment to do. Every time I sit down to write out some of those tedious punishment lines that I have to write, I think about what I did to you and how sorry I am for doing it. Every hour I spend sitting there in boring detention, I think about what I did to you and how sorry I am for doing it. And, as I write this 1,000 word apology essay, I really have to think about that a lot.

      I’m sorry, Mrs. Johns, I’m really sorry for what I did. I really wish that I could go back in time and undo what I did. But since I can’t do that, all I can do is offer you this apology and promise that I will never, never, NEVER, do anything like that again. I promise that you have learned my lesson and I hope that you can accept my apology.

      Comment


      • #4
        Amazing Grace

        You could simply write about the adventures of the spandex clad cheerleading coach and hold my attention. But Mrs. Duncan too? Who knew and the devious Mrs. Johns. Arnold you have to control your staff and they need to control their bowels. Hopefully they won't.
        Thanks again!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks Spandexman. It's not always easy to work the teachers into the storylines but I'll do my best. Your comments are always appreciated.

          Comment


          • #6
            Arnold where have you been?

            Hope you are alright. Miss your reports. Happy 2013.

            Comment


            • #7
              Agreed, the TVPC seems way behind in their reporting. Surely, the girls and possibly a teacher or two must have incurred toilet violations due to holiday eating binges!

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