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Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.
My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of March 4, 2013.
Today’s session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) begins with a case from last Friday night. Last Friday night, our school hosted a girls’ basketball game against rival Westdale High School. I am pleased to note that there were no toilet violations on our girls’ basketball team that night, but the same cannot be said of our cheerleading squad. Miss Musso, coach of the cheerleaders, is here to report that she caught one of her cheerleaders – Specifically, a cute junior with glasses named Carrie-Anne – using the bathroom in the coaches’ office in the girls’ locker room. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, the bathroom in the coaches’ office (a single toilet and sink just like a bathroom in somebody’s house), is for faculty and staff use only and is strictly off-limits to students.
“I did it,” Carrie-Anne admits apologetically, “I went in there Friday night and did my um you know what.” “By that, you mean a bowel movement?” I ask her, “What you are telling us is that you went into that faculty bathroom and did a bowel movement?” “Yes, sir,” the quiet and shy junior answers contritely. “You do know that that bathroom is for faculty and staff only, don’t you?” I ask her, “You do know that students are strictly forbidden from using it, don’t you?” “Yes, sir,” she answers again, “I’m sorry.”
“But I had an emergency Friday night,” Carrie-Anne then tells us, “I had to go really bad and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in much longer.” “I really didn’t want to have an accident,” she says, “I really hate going in my pants – Especially when it’s you know what.” “Well, that’s certainly a good reason to go use a toilet,” I tell her, “But the issue is more your choice of that particular toilet.” “Yes, sir – I know I shouldn’t have used the bathroom in the office,” she continues, “But I was just really desperate.” “I’m sorry but the girls’ room down by the gym is just so gross,” she tells me, “And it gets even worse when there is a basketball game.” “I just hate using that bathroom – I hate even peeing in there,” she explains, “There’s just no way I’m going to take a you know what in there.” “Well, you’d better learn to take a you know what in there,” I tell her, a tinge of anger in my voice, “Because using a faculty bathroom is completely unacceptable.” “I know but I just couldn’t go in the girls’ room – Not for what I had to do Friday night,” the junior cutie tells me, “I do go pee in there but I just couldn’t do the other.” “It was even worse Friday night than it usually is,” she points out, “In one of the stalls, there was you know what all over the toilet seat and the toilet itself.” “You still have to use it,” I tell her angrily, “That’s the girls’ room that is there for you to use at games and that’s the girls’ room that you have to use if you need to.” “There will be serious consequences indeed if you continue to use the coaches’ bathroom.”
Surprisingly, Carrie-Anne has a very good toilet record with no accidents at all this year and only a using a clogged toilet violation this year. In fact, her only accidents at all in school were 2 soiling accidents way back at the start of her freshman year. Considering that as a cheerleader she has a longer school day due to cheerleading practice after school and considering how much she apparently hates using that girls’ room down by the gym (the one she’d usually have to use at cheerleading practice), it’s hard to believe she could manage this long without having an accident. Naturally, I ask her about this.
“It’s not like I don’t go at school,” she says, “I go at school at all time – Practically everyday.” “I always have to do that around lunchtime,” she explains, “And I go to the 2nd Floor girls’ room after English and before Lunch to do it.” “I really don’t mind doing you know what there,” she continues, “I just wait for the bathroom to clear out when the period starts and go then.” “That’s not so bad at all – It’s certainly better than doing that with a crowd in the girls’ room by the gym,” she explains further, “I guess I’m lucky I always go at lunchtime and never have to go at games or at cheerleading practice.” “But today I just didn’t have to go at lunchtime,” she continues, “And I had to go at the game instead.” “I went pee at the game hoping it would take some of the pressure off so I could hold the other thing in,” Carrie-Anne explains, “I was trying to wait and go at home after the game.” “Pretty soon, I had to go really, really bad,” she explains further, “I knew I couldn’t hold it in much longer.” “I just couldn’t go in the girls’ room – Not for what I had to do Friday night,” she says, “But I really didn’t want to mess in my panties, either.” “I was just desperate,” she tells us, “So after halftime, I snuck into the coaches’ office and I did what I had to do in the toilet there.” “It felt so good to get relief and not go in my pants,” she explains, “And I though everything was going to be alright.” “But when I came out I got a big surprise,” she says, “Miss Musso, Mrs. Duncan, and Miss Mars were all standing there at the door waiting to use the bathroom.”
“Well, I was pretty surprised, too,” Miss Musso tells Carrie-Anne, “Imagine my surprise to be waiting to use a FACULTY bathroom and suddenly a STUDENT comes out.” “I had to go both ways you know and I don’t appreciate having to wait because a student is in the wrong bathroom,” Miss Musso adds. “Well, I only had to pee, but I had to do it really, really bad,” Mrs. Duncan chimes in, “I was in charge of the halftime show so I had been holding it in all through halftime.” “You’re lucky you didn’t cause me to have an accident from waiting,” Mrs. Duncan tells Carrie-Anne. “You were lucky indeed,” I tell the junior, “Had you actually caused a faculty member to have an accident, you’d really be in some serious trouble now.” Miss Mars doesn’t complain about having to go bad, but she does say that she, too, had to go both ways, and doesn’t appreciate having to wait for a student to finish doing her business in a bathroom she shouldn’t have been using in the first place. “I hope she gets extra punishment for making us wait,” she adds.
Moving on to Carrie-Anne’s punishment, I note again that she has a good toilet record and I’ll certainly take that into consideration. But I also have to consider that she was a cheerleader representing the school at a basketball game when she did this. “What kind of condition did she leave the bathroom in,” I ask Coach Musso. “She didn’t leave it smelling too good,” Coach Musso tells us, “But other than that, it was fine.” “Well, that saved you from bathroom cleaning detention,” I tell Carrie-Anne. Instead, I sentence her to 2 days of detention and having to write “I will not use a faculty bathroom in school again” 300 times. “You’ll also write 500 word apologies to Coach Muss, Mrs. Duncan, and Miss Mars,” I tell her. “And that detention of yours will be toilet sitting detention,” I also tell her, “And that will, of course, be toilet sitting in the girls’ room by the gym.”
“Hold on a minute,” interjects Mrs. Karbopple, a TVPC member, I want to know what Coach Musso was doing in line for the bathroom in the coaches’ office. We all, including especially Coach Musso, look at Mrs. Karbopple puzzled. Mrs. Karbopple then reminds us that Miss Musso was recently sentenced to a term of punishment where she is only able to use the student boys’ rooms. This was part of her punishment for using the boys’ room at a cheerleading competition. “What were you doing using the coaches’ office bathroom? – That’s a faculty ladies’ room,” she asks Miss Musso.
But Coach Musso has an answer for Mrs. Karbopple. “That punishment was for 3 weeks,” Coach Musso explains, “And last Thursday was my last day.” “And not a day too soon,” she adds, “That punishment was just awful.” “Well, punishment isn’t supposed to be fun,” I tell the lovely spandex-clad Coach, “It’s supposed to teach you a lesson about whatever it was that you did wrong.” “Yes, sir, but punishment shouldn’t be cruel,” she argues, “And making me use the boys’ rooms in school was just cruel.” “You don’t know how bad it was for me going into the boys’ rooms,” she explains, “Every time I went in there I had boys watching me on the toilet.” “I guess I deserved to be punished for using the boys’ room at the cheerleading competition,” Miss Musso explains further, “But letting some of the boys at the school spy on me on the toilet is cruel – It’s just plain cruel.” “I think you have to expect that the boys are going to be curious when they see you in the boys’ room,” I tell her, “But they certainly shouldn’t be spying on you.” “That’s a form of Bathroom Harassment,” I point out, “And those boys should be reported for toilet violations.” “Reported to whom?” Coach Musso asks pointedly, “Everybody knows that your committee only punishes the girls.”
Her point is indeed well-taken – The TVPC does indeed only punish girls for toilet violations. “Didn’t there used to be a branch of the TVPC that punished boys as well as girls?” she asks, “What happened to them? – I thought they did a good job.” “They did a VERY good job,” I tell Coach Musso, “They not only punished the boys as you mentioned, but they helped us with cases involving the girls as well.” “But I don’t know what happened to them,” I point out, “They just haven’t been meeting this year.” “I SURE WISH THAT OTHER BRANCH OF THE TVPC WOULD MEET AGAIN,” I tell our toilet-troubled coach. “So do I,” she concurs, “We have some nasty boys that really need to punished TVPC-style.
Looking over the TVPC agenda for this afternoon, I am disappointed to see that we have 3 seniors – Specifically, Gwendolyn, Clarissa, and Mallory – Each charged with messing in her panties. Since these violations are for the same offense, I decide to address them together.
“Shame on you 3! – Just shame on you!!” I tell them, “Messing in your panties at your age.” “You girls are seniors in high school for Pete’s sake,” I lecture them, “And, here you are, each with a mess in your panties.” “It was bad enough when you girls were freshmen and were having accidents,” I tell them, “But now that you’re seniors and still doing it, it’s even worse.” “Shame on you! – Shame on you!!” I repeat, “You girls really should be ashamed of yourself.” “Don’t you think it’s about time you 3 learned to use the toilet when you need to?” I ask them rhetorically.
We first deal with Gwendolyn – Better known as Winnie to her friends and classmates. We find out that she had her accident in gym class during 3rd period this morning. “I was holding it in during gym class – I didn’t want to do it in the girls’ locker room bathroom,” she says, “And, well – um, I just had an accident.” “I thought I could wait and do it in the girls’ room later,” Winnie also says, “But instead it just came out in my panties during gym class.” Her explanation, such that it is, leaves me shaking my head. “I just can’t believe that you’re still messing in your panties at your age,” I tell her, “You really make me WONDER.” “YEARS from now, will you still be messing in your panties?” I ask her. “When are you going to learn?” I continue, “When are you going to learn to go use the toilet when you need to?”
My harsh words bring tears to her eyes. But through her tears, Winnie tries to explain herself. “I do use the toilet – I use the toilet all the time,” she says, “It’s just that I have accidents sometimes.” “I certainly go in the toilet a lot more than I go in my panties,” the lovely and soft-spoken Winnie points out. With a comment like that, I just glare at her. Obviously, she knows that’s not good enough. “The point is that if you went and used the toilet when needed to, you wouldn’t have any accidents,” I explain. “You can’t just wait and go at home like you want,” I explain further, “Sometimes you’re going to need to do a bowel movement at school to prevent having an accident.” “But I do go at school, sir,” she says in her defense, “I go #2 at school a lot.” “It’s just that I don’t like going #2 in the girls’ locker room,” she tells us, “That’s not really the place where you want to be doing that kind of thing.”
“Well, there’s a row of toilet stalls in the girls’ locker room,” I point out, “That seems to me like a pretty good place to be having a bowel movement.” But Winnie explains that the stalls face the area where girls are dressing and undressing for gym class. “There are just too many girls around the locker room,” she says, “It’s just not really the most private place to be going #2.” “I’d just rather do that kind of thing in one of the girls’ rooms upstairs,” she says, “Like the one on the 2nd Floor, or the New Edition, or in the Science Wing. “I go #2 in school a lot – I really do,” she claims, “I hate it when I mess in my panties.” “I really was going to go upstairs and go after gym class,” she further claims, “I didn’t want to go in my pants – I really didn’t.” “But I just couldn’t do it in the girls’ locker room bathroom,” she explains, “But unfortunately, I couldn’t hold it in through gym class, either.”
“Obviously, the girls’ locker room is the bathroom you needed to use,” I explain to Winnie, “That’s the one you should have used before gym class and you would have avoided having this accident.” “Yes sir,” she acknowledges, as the tears flow anew.
Winnie is a sweet, likeable girl and it’s hard to be strict with her, but a stiff sentence is obviously what she needs. This is not only her 4th panty-soiling offense this school year, but the 3rd time it’s happened in gym class. “These panty-soiling accidents have simply got to stop,” I warn her, “You’re just going to have to learn to use the girls’ room in the locker room when you need to.” Winnie is contrite and apologetic – And she promises not to do it again – But I’m afraid that’s just no good enough this time.
For punishment, I sentence her to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 1,000 times. Winnie starts to question that, but I immediately stop her. “You want to know why it’s 1,000 times?” I ask her, “You want to know why it isn’t 500 times like you’ve gotten before for your 4th accident each year?” She nods her head “yes.” “Well, this year you’re a senior and that makes the mess in your panties all the more shameful,” I tell her, “And apparently 500 times wasn’t enough punishment if you still keep doing it.” She also gets a week of detention and a week of her 5th period study hall – both sitting on the toilet. “Um – Is that going to be sitting in the girls’ locker room bathroom?” she asks. “You bet it will be,” I tell her, “Those are the toilets that you need to be practicing on.”
Clarissa, a bright and outgoing blonde-haired beauty had her panty-soiling accident in the school cafeteria during her lunch period earlier this afternoon. “It was disgusting,” reports Mrs. Darling, a lunchroom monitor, “It was totally disgusting.” “Girls should be able to eat their lunch without having to smell something like that,” Mrs. Darling continues, obviously quite angry, “They shouldn’t have to sit with girls who are barely toilet trained.”
Clarissa, though, takes offense at Mrs. Darling’s harsh words. “I am totally toilet trained,” she says, “Of course, I’m toilet trained.” The TVPC listens intently while CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL. “It was just a little accident,” she says, “Just because I had a little accident doesn’t mean I’m not toilet trained.” “A LITTLE accident?” Mrs. Darling asks incredulously, “That looks like more than just A LITTLE accident to me.” She then points out that Clarissa’s tight fitting jeans are sporting a pretty big bulge in the back as well as some dark discoloration no doubt from the more liquid portion of the fecal mess under her jeans. “That’s quite a disgusting mess you’ve got there, young lady,” Mrs. Darling lectures her, “That’s quite a disgusting and smelly mess.”
Mrs. Darling then goes on to argue that more than the usual dose of punishment is called for in this case. That’s not only because of the severity of the accident but the circumstances of how it happened. “There’s a girls’ room right across from the cafeteria,” she reminds me, “And girls on their lunch period don’t even have to ask permission to use it.” “They can just get up and go to the girls’ room anytime during their lunch period,” she explains, “But Clarissa just sat there in the cafeteria and messed in her panties instead.” “I could see Clarissa sitting there on the edge of her chair trying to hold it in,” Mrs. Darling explains further, “And I saw 2 of her friends asking her to go to the girls’ room with them.” “But Clarissa just sat there in the cafeteria refusing to go to the girls’ room,” she tells us, “She just sat there as it eventually all came out in her pants.”
I must say that Mrs. Darling makes a pretty convincing case for a more severe than normal punishment for the pretty and delightfully eccentric senior. But, of course, I give Clarissa a chance to explain herself. “I’m sorry I went in my pants – I really am,” she says. “Trust me, I know more than anyone else how disgusting this mess is,” she explains, “You don’t know how I dread having to clean this all up when I get home.” “Well then, it certainly seems that you should have gone to the girls’ room when you had the chance,” I point out to her, “Had you gone in the toilet like you were supposed to, the only cleaning up you’d have to do would be wiping yourself afterwards.” “All you had to do was walk across the hall to the girls’ room and use the toilet there,” I explain, “The girls’ room is right there so girls can use it freely during their lunch period.”
“But that’s just it, sir,” Clarissa answers, “Girls do use it during their lunch period – I mean, a lot of girls use it during their lunch period.” Of course, I look at her puzzled – That’s the whole point of putting a girls’ room near the cafeteria in the first place. “What I mean, sir, is the girls’ room there is always crowded – Girls are coming and going through the whole lunch period,” she says, “No one wants to sit down and go BM in there during the lunch periods – It’s really not a lot of privacy.” “Oh – Give me a break!” Mrs. Darling tells her angrily, “The toilets all have full stalls around them and they have doors in front that lock.” “What more privacy do you need?” the Cafeteria Monitor asks. “I just don’t like having all those other girls around when I have to go BM,” Clarissa answers, “All the girls in the other stalls and the sinks and doing their hair and everything.” “I’d just rather be alone in the girls’ room when I have to do this or at least not be in there with so many other girls,” she says. “I just wish they’d let us go and use a different girls’ room during lunch period – Like the one on the 2nd Floor,” she says, “When I have to go BM at school, that’s the girls’ room I like to use.” “I don’t care so much when I just have to pee – The girls’ room down by the cafeteria is alright when you just have to do that,” she adds, “No one likes to sit down and go BM in there during the lunch periods when it’s so crowded.”
“Well, I don’t care whether you LIKE it or not,” I explain to Clarissa angrily, “But I do expect you to use it when you really need to.” “You’ll use it when you have to go or you’ll suffer the consequences,” I continue, “I’d think that by now, as a senior, you’d have already learned that lesson. Miss Bliss, who was monitoring the girls’ room that period, explains that Clarissa did go in there before heading to the cafeteria to eat her lunch. “But she only urinated,” Miss Bliss tells us, “For whatever reason, she decided not to do her bowel movement then.” It takes a moment for that to sink in. “You were already in the girls’ room urinating and you didn’t have your bowel movement?” I ask her, almost in disbelief, “All this just a little while before you messed in your pants?” Reluctantly, she nods her head “yes” and I am left just shaking my head. “Shame on you,” I tell her, “Shame on you.” “I really would have expected more from a senior,” I add.
Moving on to her punishment, I note that this is also Clarissa’s 4th panty-soiling accident of the school year. She’s also got offenses for lying about one of her accidents, cutting a TVPC detention, and for flushing a sanitary pad down the toilet. Considering this carefully, I find that Mrs. Darling is absolutely correct – Obviously, more than the usual punishment is called for in this case. “You’ll also write the sentence 1,000 times,” I tell her, “And in your case, you’ll also have 2 weeks of after school toilet sitting punishment.” “And that will, of course, be toilet sitting in the girls’ room across from the cafeteria,” I point out. “You’ll also do toilet sitting punishment during your 6th period study hall,” I explain, “And that punishment will continue until you do a bowel movement in that same girls’ room.” At first, Clarissa seems unsure of the last part of that punishment. “What if I don’t do a BM in that girls’ room?” she asks, “What if I do go in school, but just not in that particular girls’ room?” “Well then, you’ll just keep spending your study hall sitting on the toilet there,” I explain, “You’ll just have to keep toilet sitting during study hall until you graduate.” Obviously, she’s not happy to hear that and makes a face. “TVPC punishments are not designed to be pleasant,” I remind her, “They are designed to teach you a lesson.”
My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of March 4, 2013.
Today’s session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) begins with a case from last Friday night. Last Friday night, our school hosted a girls’ basketball game against rival Westdale High School. I am pleased to note that there were no toilet violations on our girls’ basketball team that night, but the same cannot be said of our cheerleading squad. Miss Musso, coach of the cheerleaders, is here to report that she caught one of her cheerleaders – Specifically, a cute junior with glasses named Carrie-Anne – using the bathroom in the coaches’ office in the girls’ locker room. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, the bathroom in the coaches’ office (a single toilet and sink just like a bathroom in somebody’s house), is for faculty and staff use only and is strictly off-limits to students.
“I did it,” Carrie-Anne admits apologetically, “I went in there Friday night and did my um you know what.” “By that, you mean a bowel movement?” I ask her, “What you are telling us is that you went into that faculty bathroom and did a bowel movement?” “Yes, sir,” the quiet and shy junior answers contritely. “You do know that that bathroom is for faculty and staff only, don’t you?” I ask her, “You do know that students are strictly forbidden from using it, don’t you?” “Yes, sir,” she answers again, “I’m sorry.”
“But I had an emergency Friday night,” Carrie-Anne then tells us, “I had to go really bad and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in much longer.” “I really didn’t want to have an accident,” she says, “I really hate going in my pants – Especially when it’s you know what.” “Well, that’s certainly a good reason to go use a toilet,” I tell her, “But the issue is more your choice of that particular toilet.” “Yes, sir – I know I shouldn’t have used the bathroom in the office,” she continues, “But I was just really desperate.” “I’m sorry but the girls’ room down by the gym is just so gross,” she tells me, “And it gets even worse when there is a basketball game.” “I just hate using that bathroom – I hate even peeing in there,” she explains, “There’s just no way I’m going to take a you know what in there.” “Well, you’d better learn to take a you know what in there,” I tell her, a tinge of anger in my voice, “Because using a faculty bathroom is completely unacceptable.” “I know but I just couldn’t go in the girls’ room – Not for what I had to do Friday night,” the junior cutie tells me, “I do go pee in there but I just couldn’t do the other.” “It was even worse Friday night than it usually is,” she points out, “In one of the stalls, there was you know what all over the toilet seat and the toilet itself.” “You still have to use it,” I tell her angrily, “That’s the girls’ room that is there for you to use at games and that’s the girls’ room that you have to use if you need to.” “There will be serious consequences indeed if you continue to use the coaches’ bathroom.”
Surprisingly, Carrie-Anne has a very good toilet record with no accidents at all this year and only a using a clogged toilet violation this year. In fact, her only accidents at all in school were 2 soiling accidents way back at the start of her freshman year. Considering that as a cheerleader she has a longer school day due to cheerleading practice after school and considering how much she apparently hates using that girls’ room down by the gym (the one she’d usually have to use at cheerleading practice), it’s hard to believe she could manage this long without having an accident. Naturally, I ask her about this.
“It’s not like I don’t go at school,” she says, “I go at school at all time – Practically everyday.” “I always have to do that around lunchtime,” she explains, “And I go to the 2nd Floor girls’ room after English and before Lunch to do it.” “I really don’t mind doing you know what there,” she continues, “I just wait for the bathroom to clear out when the period starts and go then.” “That’s not so bad at all – It’s certainly better than doing that with a crowd in the girls’ room by the gym,” she explains further, “I guess I’m lucky I always go at lunchtime and never have to go at games or at cheerleading practice.” “But today I just didn’t have to go at lunchtime,” she continues, “And I had to go at the game instead.” “I went pee at the game hoping it would take some of the pressure off so I could hold the other thing in,” Carrie-Anne explains, “I was trying to wait and go at home after the game.” “Pretty soon, I had to go really, really bad,” she explains further, “I knew I couldn’t hold it in much longer.” “I just couldn’t go in the girls’ room – Not for what I had to do Friday night,” she says, “But I really didn’t want to mess in my panties, either.” “I was just desperate,” she tells us, “So after halftime, I snuck into the coaches’ office and I did what I had to do in the toilet there.” “It felt so good to get relief and not go in my pants,” she explains, “And I though everything was going to be alright.” “But when I came out I got a big surprise,” she says, “Miss Musso, Mrs. Duncan, and Miss Mars were all standing there at the door waiting to use the bathroom.”
“Well, I was pretty surprised, too,” Miss Musso tells Carrie-Anne, “Imagine my surprise to be waiting to use a FACULTY bathroom and suddenly a STUDENT comes out.” “I had to go both ways you know and I don’t appreciate having to wait because a student is in the wrong bathroom,” Miss Musso adds. “Well, I only had to pee, but I had to do it really, really bad,” Mrs. Duncan chimes in, “I was in charge of the halftime show so I had been holding it in all through halftime.” “You’re lucky you didn’t cause me to have an accident from waiting,” Mrs. Duncan tells Carrie-Anne. “You were lucky indeed,” I tell the junior, “Had you actually caused a faculty member to have an accident, you’d really be in some serious trouble now.” Miss Mars doesn’t complain about having to go bad, but she does say that she, too, had to go both ways, and doesn’t appreciate having to wait for a student to finish doing her business in a bathroom she shouldn’t have been using in the first place. “I hope she gets extra punishment for making us wait,” she adds.
Moving on to Carrie-Anne’s punishment, I note again that she has a good toilet record and I’ll certainly take that into consideration. But I also have to consider that she was a cheerleader representing the school at a basketball game when she did this. “What kind of condition did she leave the bathroom in,” I ask Coach Musso. “She didn’t leave it smelling too good,” Coach Musso tells us, “But other than that, it was fine.” “Well, that saved you from bathroom cleaning detention,” I tell Carrie-Anne. Instead, I sentence her to 2 days of detention and having to write “I will not use a faculty bathroom in school again” 300 times. “You’ll also write 500 word apologies to Coach Muss, Mrs. Duncan, and Miss Mars,” I tell her. “And that detention of yours will be toilet sitting detention,” I also tell her, “And that will, of course, be toilet sitting in the girls’ room by the gym.”
“Hold on a minute,” interjects Mrs. Karbopple, a TVPC member, I want to know what Coach Musso was doing in line for the bathroom in the coaches’ office. We all, including especially Coach Musso, look at Mrs. Karbopple puzzled. Mrs. Karbopple then reminds us that Miss Musso was recently sentenced to a term of punishment where she is only able to use the student boys’ rooms. This was part of her punishment for using the boys’ room at a cheerleading competition. “What were you doing using the coaches’ office bathroom? – That’s a faculty ladies’ room,” she asks Miss Musso.
But Coach Musso has an answer for Mrs. Karbopple. “That punishment was for 3 weeks,” Coach Musso explains, “And last Thursday was my last day.” “And not a day too soon,” she adds, “That punishment was just awful.” “Well, punishment isn’t supposed to be fun,” I tell the lovely spandex-clad Coach, “It’s supposed to teach you a lesson about whatever it was that you did wrong.” “Yes, sir, but punishment shouldn’t be cruel,” she argues, “And making me use the boys’ rooms in school was just cruel.” “You don’t know how bad it was for me going into the boys’ rooms,” she explains, “Every time I went in there I had boys watching me on the toilet.” “I guess I deserved to be punished for using the boys’ room at the cheerleading competition,” Miss Musso explains further, “But letting some of the boys at the school spy on me on the toilet is cruel – It’s just plain cruel.” “I think you have to expect that the boys are going to be curious when they see you in the boys’ room,” I tell her, “But they certainly shouldn’t be spying on you.” “That’s a form of Bathroom Harassment,” I point out, “And those boys should be reported for toilet violations.” “Reported to whom?” Coach Musso asks pointedly, “Everybody knows that your committee only punishes the girls.”
Her point is indeed well-taken – The TVPC does indeed only punish girls for toilet violations. “Didn’t there used to be a branch of the TVPC that punished boys as well as girls?” she asks, “What happened to them? – I thought they did a good job.” “They did a VERY good job,” I tell Coach Musso, “They not only punished the boys as you mentioned, but they helped us with cases involving the girls as well.” “But I don’t know what happened to them,” I point out, “They just haven’t been meeting this year.” “I SURE WISH THAT OTHER BRANCH OF THE TVPC WOULD MEET AGAIN,” I tell our toilet-troubled coach. “So do I,” she concurs, “We have some nasty boys that really need to punished TVPC-style.
Looking over the TVPC agenda for this afternoon, I am disappointed to see that we have 3 seniors – Specifically, Gwendolyn, Clarissa, and Mallory – Each charged with messing in her panties. Since these violations are for the same offense, I decide to address them together.
“Shame on you 3! – Just shame on you!!” I tell them, “Messing in your panties at your age.” “You girls are seniors in high school for Pete’s sake,” I lecture them, “And, here you are, each with a mess in your panties.” “It was bad enough when you girls were freshmen and were having accidents,” I tell them, “But now that you’re seniors and still doing it, it’s even worse.” “Shame on you! – Shame on you!!” I repeat, “You girls really should be ashamed of yourself.” “Don’t you think it’s about time you 3 learned to use the toilet when you need to?” I ask them rhetorically.
We first deal with Gwendolyn – Better known as Winnie to her friends and classmates. We find out that she had her accident in gym class during 3rd period this morning. “I was holding it in during gym class – I didn’t want to do it in the girls’ locker room bathroom,” she says, “And, well – um, I just had an accident.” “I thought I could wait and do it in the girls’ room later,” Winnie also says, “But instead it just came out in my panties during gym class.” Her explanation, such that it is, leaves me shaking my head. “I just can’t believe that you’re still messing in your panties at your age,” I tell her, “You really make me WONDER.” “YEARS from now, will you still be messing in your panties?” I ask her. “When are you going to learn?” I continue, “When are you going to learn to go use the toilet when you need to?”
My harsh words bring tears to her eyes. But through her tears, Winnie tries to explain herself. “I do use the toilet – I use the toilet all the time,” she says, “It’s just that I have accidents sometimes.” “I certainly go in the toilet a lot more than I go in my panties,” the lovely and soft-spoken Winnie points out. With a comment like that, I just glare at her. Obviously, she knows that’s not good enough. “The point is that if you went and used the toilet when needed to, you wouldn’t have any accidents,” I explain. “You can’t just wait and go at home like you want,” I explain further, “Sometimes you’re going to need to do a bowel movement at school to prevent having an accident.” “But I do go at school, sir,” she says in her defense, “I go #2 at school a lot.” “It’s just that I don’t like going #2 in the girls’ locker room,” she tells us, “That’s not really the place where you want to be doing that kind of thing.”
“Well, there’s a row of toilet stalls in the girls’ locker room,” I point out, “That seems to me like a pretty good place to be having a bowel movement.” But Winnie explains that the stalls face the area where girls are dressing and undressing for gym class. “There are just too many girls around the locker room,” she says, “It’s just not really the most private place to be going #2.” “I’d just rather do that kind of thing in one of the girls’ rooms upstairs,” she says, “Like the one on the 2nd Floor, or the New Edition, or in the Science Wing. “I go #2 in school a lot – I really do,” she claims, “I hate it when I mess in my panties.” “I really was going to go upstairs and go after gym class,” she further claims, “I didn’t want to go in my pants – I really didn’t.” “But I just couldn’t do it in the girls’ locker room bathroom,” she explains, “But unfortunately, I couldn’t hold it in through gym class, either.”
“Obviously, the girls’ locker room is the bathroom you needed to use,” I explain to Winnie, “That’s the one you should have used before gym class and you would have avoided having this accident.” “Yes sir,” she acknowledges, as the tears flow anew.
Winnie is a sweet, likeable girl and it’s hard to be strict with her, but a stiff sentence is obviously what she needs. This is not only her 4th panty-soiling offense this school year, but the 3rd time it’s happened in gym class. “These panty-soiling accidents have simply got to stop,” I warn her, “You’re just going to have to learn to use the girls’ room in the locker room when you need to.” Winnie is contrite and apologetic – And she promises not to do it again – But I’m afraid that’s just no good enough this time.
For punishment, I sentence her to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 1,000 times. Winnie starts to question that, but I immediately stop her. “You want to know why it’s 1,000 times?” I ask her, “You want to know why it isn’t 500 times like you’ve gotten before for your 4th accident each year?” She nods her head “yes.” “Well, this year you’re a senior and that makes the mess in your panties all the more shameful,” I tell her, “And apparently 500 times wasn’t enough punishment if you still keep doing it.” She also gets a week of detention and a week of her 5th period study hall – both sitting on the toilet. “Um – Is that going to be sitting in the girls’ locker room bathroom?” she asks. “You bet it will be,” I tell her, “Those are the toilets that you need to be practicing on.”
Clarissa, a bright and outgoing blonde-haired beauty had her panty-soiling accident in the school cafeteria during her lunch period earlier this afternoon. “It was disgusting,” reports Mrs. Darling, a lunchroom monitor, “It was totally disgusting.” “Girls should be able to eat their lunch without having to smell something like that,” Mrs. Darling continues, obviously quite angry, “They shouldn’t have to sit with girls who are barely toilet trained.”
Clarissa, though, takes offense at Mrs. Darling’s harsh words. “I am totally toilet trained,” she says, “Of course, I’m toilet trained.” The TVPC listens intently while CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL. “It was just a little accident,” she says, “Just because I had a little accident doesn’t mean I’m not toilet trained.” “A LITTLE accident?” Mrs. Darling asks incredulously, “That looks like more than just A LITTLE accident to me.” She then points out that Clarissa’s tight fitting jeans are sporting a pretty big bulge in the back as well as some dark discoloration no doubt from the more liquid portion of the fecal mess under her jeans. “That’s quite a disgusting mess you’ve got there, young lady,” Mrs. Darling lectures her, “That’s quite a disgusting and smelly mess.”
Mrs. Darling then goes on to argue that more than the usual dose of punishment is called for in this case. That’s not only because of the severity of the accident but the circumstances of how it happened. “There’s a girls’ room right across from the cafeteria,” she reminds me, “And girls on their lunch period don’t even have to ask permission to use it.” “They can just get up and go to the girls’ room anytime during their lunch period,” she explains, “But Clarissa just sat there in the cafeteria and messed in her panties instead.” “I could see Clarissa sitting there on the edge of her chair trying to hold it in,” Mrs. Darling explains further, “And I saw 2 of her friends asking her to go to the girls’ room with them.” “But Clarissa just sat there in the cafeteria refusing to go to the girls’ room,” she tells us, “She just sat there as it eventually all came out in her pants.”
I must say that Mrs. Darling makes a pretty convincing case for a more severe than normal punishment for the pretty and delightfully eccentric senior. But, of course, I give Clarissa a chance to explain herself. “I’m sorry I went in my pants – I really am,” she says. “Trust me, I know more than anyone else how disgusting this mess is,” she explains, “You don’t know how I dread having to clean this all up when I get home.” “Well then, it certainly seems that you should have gone to the girls’ room when you had the chance,” I point out to her, “Had you gone in the toilet like you were supposed to, the only cleaning up you’d have to do would be wiping yourself afterwards.” “All you had to do was walk across the hall to the girls’ room and use the toilet there,” I explain, “The girls’ room is right there so girls can use it freely during their lunch period.”
“But that’s just it, sir,” Clarissa answers, “Girls do use it during their lunch period – I mean, a lot of girls use it during their lunch period.” Of course, I look at her puzzled – That’s the whole point of putting a girls’ room near the cafeteria in the first place. “What I mean, sir, is the girls’ room there is always crowded – Girls are coming and going through the whole lunch period,” she says, “No one wants to sit down and go BM in there during the lunch periods – It’s really not a lot of privacy.” “Oh – Give me a break!” Mrs. Darling tells her angrily, “The toilets all have full stalls around them and they have doors in front that lock.” “What more privacy do you need?” the Cafeteria Monitor asks. “I just don’t like having all those other girls around when I have to go BM,” Clarissa answers, “All the girls in the other stalls and the sinks and doing their hair and everything.” “I’d just rather be alone in the girls’ room when I have to do this or at least not be in there with so many other girls,” she says. “I just wish they’d let us go and use a different girls’ room during lunch period – Like the one on the 2nd Floor,” she says, “When I have to go BM at school, that’s the girls’ room I like to use.” “I don’t care so much when I just have to pee – The girls’ room down by the cafeteria is alright when you just have to do that,” she adds, “No one likes to sit down and go BM in there during the lunch periods when it’s so crowded.”
“Well, I don’t care whether you LIKE it or not,” I explain to Clarissa angrily, “But I do expect you to use it when you really need to.” “You’ll use it when you have to go or you’ll suffer the consequences,” I continue, “I’d think that by now, as a senior, you’d have already learned that lesson. Miss Bliss, who was monitoring the girls’ room that period, explains that Clarissa did go in there before heading to the cafeteria to eat her lunch. “But she only urinated,” Miss Bliss tells us, “For whatever reason, she decided not to do her bowel movement then.” It takes a moment for that to sink in. “You were already in the girls’ room urinating and you didn’t have your bowel movement?” I ask her, almost in disbelief, “All this just a little while before you messed in your pants?” Reluctantly, she nods her head “yes” and I am left just shaking my head. “Shame on you,” I tell her, “Shame on you.” “I really would have expected more from a senior,” I add.
Moving on to her punishment, I note that this is also Clarissa’s 4th panty-soiling accident of the school year. She’s also got offenses for lying about one of her accidents, cutting a TVPC detention, and for flushing a sanitary pad down the toilet. Considering this carefully, I find that Mrs. Darling is absolutely correct – Obviously, more than the usual punishment is called for in this case. “You’ll also write the sentence 1,000 times,” I tell her, “And in your case, you’ll also have 2 weeks of after school toilet sitting punishment.” “And that will, of course, be toilet sitting in the girls’ room across from the cafeteria,” I point out. “You’ll also do toilet sitting punishment during your 6th period study hall,” I explain, “And that punishment will continue until you do a bowel movement in that same girls’ room.” At first, Clarissa seems unsure of the last part of that punishment. “What if I don’t do a BM in that girls’ room?” she asks, “What if I do go in school, but just not in that particular girls’ room?” “Well then, you’ll just keep spending your study hall sitting on the toilet there,” I explain, “You’ll just have to keep toilet sitting during study hall until you graduate.” Obviously, she’s not happy to hear that and makes a face. “TVPC punishments are not designed to be pleasant,” I remind her, “They are designed to teach you a lesson.”
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