I went to the grocery store really early this morning. I like to do that because the store isn't as full and the lines are not as long. In fact, just about the only other shoppers were some old folks who must be early risers and came in on the Handi-Van.
The thing is: I went there so early that I had not yet made my morning load. By the time I was standing in line I was just aching with it, and, as they say, the turd was "pushing fabric." Just for your info, the fabric in question was my big enormous white nylon full-briefs, real "middle-age gal" kind of undies. I was wearing a too-tight pair of black spandex pants (dreadfully slutty visible panty line, I must admit) and a gray sweatshirt too.
So I thought about how the bathroom was in the back of the store. Of course I could always put my sutff in the car and hurry back inside to use the bathroom, but then I thought, hmmmm.... In front of me was an old lady with shaky hands. In back of me was an even older guy on a respirator, attended by a caregiver who lacked like she was probably quite a tramp in real life. And if the caregiver looked like a tramp, then t he check-out girl was definitely one, since she used to work at a local bar and everyone knows that any guy with a pulse can get in her pants.
So I thought, I'll bet every one of these people has had their pants full at some point in the last year.
So I figured I was in good company and just relaxed, dropped the morning mud in my big old undies and felt a tremendous sense of relief.
No one seemed to notice.
As I waddled across the parking lot with my bag of groceries, it came to my mind that my boyfriend was at my house, having spent the night. He isn't turned on by this stuff, but he knows that I do it sometimes -- actually, he knows that I do it a lot. So I figured he would just have to live with it.
I sat down on the driver's seat and felt that familiar soft explosion in my underpants as everything went squish.
Drove home feeling HOT.
My boyfriend was a little bit surprised, but only a little. He has seen me do it before.
So I took a shower, threw the clothes in the wash, and proceeded with my day.
The thing is: I went there so early that I had not yet made my morning load. By the time I was standing in line I was just aching with it, and, as they say, the turd was "pushing fabric." Just for your info, the fabric in question was my big enormous white nylon full-briefs, real "middle-age gal" kind of undies. I was wearing a too-tight pair of black spandex pants (dreadfully slutty visible panty line, I must admit) and a gray sweatshirt too.
So I thought about how the bathroom was in the back of the store. Of course I could always put my sutff in the car and hurry back inside to use the bathroom, but then I thought, hmmmm.... In front of me was an old lady with shaky hands. In back of me was an even older guy on a respirator, attended by a caregiver who lacked like she was probably quite a tramp in real life. And if the caregiver looked like a tramp, then t he check-out girl was definitely one, since she used to work at a local bar and everyone knows that any guy with a pulse can get in her pants.
So I thought, I'll bet every one of these people has had their pants full at some point in the last year.
So I figured I was in good company and just relaxed, dropped the morning mud in my big old undies and felt a tremendous sense of relief.
No one seemed to notice.
As I waddled across the parking lot with my bag of groceries, it came to my mind that my boyfriend was at my house, having spent the night. He isn't turned on by this stuff, but he knows that I do it sometimes -- actually, he knows that I do it a lot. So I figured he would just have to live with it.
I sat down on the driver's seat and felt that familiar soft explosion in my underpants as everything went squish.
Drove home feeling HOT.
My boyfriend was a little bit surprised, but only a little. He has seen me do it before.
So I took a shower, threw the clothes in the wash, and proceeded with my day.
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