Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of March 3, 2014.

As I open this afternoon’s session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC), I note that this is not a happy day at our school. Our girls’ basketball team, which was expected to contend for the state championship, suffered an upset loss in the state tournament over the weekend. The heartbreaking triple overtime loss ends the season on a sour note for the girls. And to make matters even worse, we have 2 panty-soiling violations from Saturday’s game – One from Leslie, a girl on the basketball team and one from Wendy, a pretty and athletic senior cheerleader.

Dealing with the cheerleader first, I call Wendy to the podium. Embarrassed, she admits that she did indeed soil herself at the game Saturday night. “I’m sorry, sir,” she tells me, “I did have an accident and it was kind of bad, too.” “I mean, the mess did all stay in my panties and I’m thankful for that,” she explains, “But I did mess in my panties kind of bad.” “I’m so ashamed, sir,” she adds, “All I can say is that I’m so ashamed of myself.”

“You SHOULD be ashamed!” chimes in Hayden, the Assistant Cheerleading Captain, “What you did was disgusting – What you did was completely disgusting!” “How could you just sit there and mess in your panties like that?” she asks her cheerleading teammate, “How can you NOT just go do it in the toilet when you need to?” Her harsh words bring tears to Wendy’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” Wendy says as she breaks down in tears, “I’m just so sorry and ashamed of myself.” Hayden also apologizes. “I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to be so harsh,” Hayden interjects. “It’s just that it’s extremely frustrating sometimes,” she says, “It looks bad for all of us when one of us goes in her panties like that.” “How could girls our age just not use the toilet when they need to?” she asks rhetorically, “How can a girl our age just sit there and go in her pants instead?” “Do you have any idea how gross that is?” she asks, this time more directly to the pretty and athletic senior, “Do you have any idea what it’s like to ride home on the bus with the smell of a girl that just messed in her panties like that?”

“Don’t you think I know that,” Wendy replies, a strange combination of embarrassment and indignation in her voice, “Don’t you think it was worse for me, than it was for you?” “Then why did you do it, for Pete’s sake?” Hayden asks her, “Why the hell didn’t you just go use the toilet when you needed to?” Simple as that question is, Wendy really has no answer. “It wasn’t even that the bathroom there was bad or anything like that,” Hayden continues, “The girls’ room there was actually very nice.” “How could you just not go and use that bathroom if you needed to?” Hayden asks again, “Why in the world would you just sit there messing in your panties?” “I don’t know – I just didn’t,” the embarassed cheerleader mumbles through a river of tears, “I’m sorry but I just didn’t.” “I’m just so ashamed of myself,” she then adds, as she completely breaks down crying into her hands.

With that, Miss Musso steps up to the podium. As we all know, Miss Musso is our Cheerleading Coach and she looks as sensational as usual in her tight red spandex sweat suit. She is, of course the one who filed the Violation Report against Wendy for “Panty-Soiling” or more specifically, “Panty-Soiling While Representing the School.” “I’m afraid Hayden is right,” Coach Musso tells us, “She may have been harsh on Wendy, but she is right.” “There really is no excuse for what she did,” the sexy Cheerleading Coach continues, “As Hayden indicated the girls’ room there at the game was actually quite nice.” “You know that we don’t always get nice bathroom facilities at games,” Coach Musso explains, “And we both know that that creates problems sometimes.” “But there was nothing wrong with the facilities we had to use Saturday night,” she continues, “They were very clean and they had doors on the stalls with good locks and everything.” “Of course, I’m not saying it’s alright to have an accident even if the bathroom facilities are bad,” Coach Musso clarifies, “It’s just that if the facilities are that nice and a girl messes in her panties anyway, it makes it all the more shameful.”

Hayden nods her head in agreement with that. “Those were about the best bathroom facilities we’ve ever had as cheerleaders,” Hayden says. “I mean no matter what the bathroom facilities are like, it’s still better than going in your pants,” the pretty and articulate cheerleader continues, “I mean, that’s just unspeakably disgusting – More disgusting than any girls’ room could possibly be.” “But if the girls’ room is actually very nice and a girl still goes in her pants?” she presupposes, shaking her head, “Well, I just don’t get that at all.” “I REALLY just don’t get how any girl our age could just take a dump in her pants like Wendy did Saturday night!” Hayden says as she turns again toward her thoroughly ashamed cheerleading teammate. Of course, I bang my gavel and warn Hayden about her language. “We’ll have no talk like that,” I angrily tell her. “I’m sorry, sir,” Hayden then tells me, “It’s that it makes me a little mad sometimes.” “I mean, I go to the girls’ room to pee after the game and I hear a girl crying in the next stall,” she points out, “And I go to see what is wrong and I see it’s Wendy sitting there with a load in her panties.” “I mean, it really isn’t hard to avoid messing in your panties, Wendy,” Hayden tells her, “All you have to do is go do it in the toilet instead.”

Turning now to Wendy, the poor girl is still crying but nodding her head. “I know,” she tells Hayden, “I know – It was just so stupid of me to let this happen.” She tells us that she was just holding it in and waiting for the game to be over. “I was planning to go after the game before we got on the bus to leave,” she explains. “But then the game went into triple overtime,” she explains further, “And I just couldn’t hold it in that long.” “I know it’s not an excuse, sir, but I really was planning to do it in the girls’ room at the game,” she tells me, “It’s just that I had an accident during the 3rd overtime.” She explains further that she did have to go by halftime of the game, but there was a long line for the girls’ room then. “I decided then that I’d just wait until the game was over,” Wendy explains, “I was going to have to pee before getting on the bus to come home anyway, so I figured I might as well take care of both at the same time.” “But then it went into triple overtime and I just couldn’t make it through the 3rd overtime,” she points out again, “And Hayden found me in the girls’ room later after it was too late.” “I’m sorry, Hayden, I know I embarrassed us all with my accident,” she turns and tells her fellow cheerleader, “But it was an accident – It was just an accident.” “It was stupid – I know it was stupid of me to wait too long,” she acknowledges, “But I was just an accident.”

Wendy also admits the accident was kind of a bad one. “When I ran to the girls’ room after the game, I thought maybe I could get cleaned up real quick,” she explains, “But the mess was just too bad for that.” “It was all soft and sticky and my panties were just full of it,” the mortally embarrassed cheerleader says, “I was really lucky that my skirt and my slip didn’t get soiled, too.” “And then I just started to cry,” Wendy tells us, “And that’s when Hayden came in and saw me.” “And then, of course, Miss Musso came to check on me and that’s when I got the Violation Report for doing it.” “It was stupid of me,” she says again, in tears, “It was just so stupid of me to have an accident – Especially at a game.”

Moving on to her punishment, I acknowledge her taking responsibility for what she did and admitting how stupid it was for her too wait so long to go. “I understand that it was only an accident and I know how sorry you are about it,” I tell her, “But I’m sure you know that soiling in your panties while representing the school as a cheerleader is no small matter.” Still in tears, she indicates that she does understand. And while it’s only her first accident while representing the school, she does have 2 prior panty-soilings in school this year. The first happened in Calculus class back in September and the second happened in detention with Dr. Flower just after Thanksgiving. And I have more bad news for the senior beauty. “I’m afraid I’m also going to have to consider that the girls’ room there was quite nice,” I tell her, “If the girls’ room was bad like at a lot of schools, I could show you a little leniency,” I point out, “But, as has been said, having an accident while the girls’ room is perfectly fine like that, makes it even more shameful.”

As much as I do like Wendy (she’s a very friendly and well-liked girl), I have little choice but to give her a stern sentence of 2 weeks toilet sitting detention and having to write, “I will not soil my panties in school or while cheerleading again” 1,000 times. The poor girl is quite stunned at the severity of her punishment. “But sir,” she starts to argue, before I stop her. “I’m sorry, Wendy, but this was a particularly shameful accident,” I remind her, “There really was no excuse for you to be having an accident at the game.” “And it’s not like this is your first one,” I also point out. “It is your first at a game, but you’ve got 2 others in school,” I remind her further, “That’s quite a shameful record for a girl your age.” “Let’s hope you learn your lesson this time,” I tell her. “Yes sir,” she tells me as she breaks down crying into her hands again.

Next before the TVPC is Leslie, a cute and perky blonde on the girls’ basketball team. Coach Teiger, the pretty blonde-haired coach of the team, is here to present this case and she is definitely not happy. “Disgraceful – Utterly disgraceful,” Coach Teiger tells us, waving a plastic bag in her hand. Looking closer, I see the plastic bag contains a plain white pair of panties – White, that is, except for a large brown deposit right in the seat. I am assuming, of course, that those panties belong to Leslie. “Utterly disgraceful,” Coach Teiger repeats, this time glaring at her backup point guard, “There no excuse for a girl your age having an accident – Especially while representing the school on the basketball team.”

Asking Leslie for her plea, I’m more than a little surprised to hear her say “Not Guilty.” While the plea merely surprises me, it just about enrages the coach. “What do you call this?!” Coach Teiger yells at her, this time waiving the soiled panties in Leslie’s direction.” “I pulled these out your gym bag Saturday night,” Coach Teiger reminds the girl, “Do you really expect me to believe that these are not yours?” “Those are mine, Mrs. Teiger – I admit that I made the mess in the panties,” she tells her coach, “It’s just that it didn’t happen while I was representing the school.” While Coach Teiger stands there exasperated, I explain some TVPC rules to Leslie. “It doesn’t have to happen during the game itself for it to be representing the school,” I tell her, “As long as it happens anytime from going to the game to coming back on the bus, it’s considered to be representing the school.” It’s Coach Teiger’s argument that Leslie messed in her panties on the bus ride to the game and then cleaned herself up in the girls’ locker room bathroom, stashing the soiled panties in her gym bag in the process. Some of the other girls on the team apparently saw the messy panties in Leslie’s gym bag in the locker room. “I saw the way you were walking as we got off the bus,” Coach Teiger tells Leslie, “And then you went running for the bathroom and you were in there a good long time.” “I think it’s pretty clear you were cleaning yourself up in there,” she continues, “And then you stashed your soiled panties in the gym bag for the time being.” “I can only assume you were either going to clean them out later at home or just get rid of them there,” Coach Teiger then explains, “If Maddie and Amber hadn’t caught a glimpse of them in your bag, you actually might have gotten away with this.” Maddie and Amber, 2 girls on the team, as well as some other girls on the team started reacting to seeing the messy panties in Leslie’s bag and this created a bit of commotion in the locker room. “I heard the commotion and then I went over to see what was going on,” Coach Teiger reports, “And the girls were all reacting in disgust and pointing to Leslie’s gym bag.” “I’ve warned you many times not to get on the bus without going to the bathroom first,” she tells Leslie, “I told you sooner or later you were going to have an accident because of that.”

But Leslie denies that that’s what happened. “I didn’t do it at the game,” she says, “And I didn’t do it on the bus, either.” “Yeah, I kind of did have an emergency on the bus,” the junior cutie continues, “But I ran for the bathroom once we got there and I got there in time.” “I didn’t have an accident there,” she explains, “I was just using the toilet and unfortunately, it was just taking a long time.” “I mean, you could see that I was wearing panties in the locker room that night,” she tells her coach, “If I had messed in my panties and then changed them, how would I still be wearing clean panties that night?” “Well, certainly you could have had a spare pair of panties with you that night,” Coach Teiger tells her. “I mean, obviously, you did have 2 pairs of panties with you Saturday night,” the coach says, “You did have clean panties on, but I hope you’re not really going to deny that you also had messy ones in your gym bag.” With that, Coach Teiger once again holds up the plastic bag with the messy panties in question. “I mean, you’re not really going to deny you soiled these panties and then stashed them in your gym bag, are you?” she asks the girl.”

Leslie once again admits that she did mess in those panties and did indeed stash them in her gym bag. “But it didn’t happen at the game on Saturday,” she staunchly claims, “It actually happened at practice on Friday.” “I do deserve to get punished for the accident,” she acknowledges, “But it just wasn’t an accident while representing the school, that’s all.” “Like I said, I used the toilet in the girls’ locker room at the game Saturday night,” she continues, “I had to go really bad but I did make it in time and I did the whole thing in the toilet.” “But those messy panties were already in my gym bag,” she explains, “I just forgot they were still in there from Friday.” Leslie goes on to explain further that she had been having some stomach problems all week. “First, I was constipated,” she says, “But then I kind of overdid it on the fiber supplements and I’ve been running to the toilet all weekend.” “Running for the girls’ room Saturday night was only the tip of the iceberg,” she continues, “The real problem happened on Friday when I couldn’t hold it in until the end of practice.” Apparently, Leslie, as well as Amber and Trina, were being punished and had to run extra sprints after practice. “I just couldn’t hold it in through all that,” she says, “I had to go too bad for that and I had an accident before we got finished.”

Coach Teiger remains skeptical of the girl’s story. “I think I would have noticed a mess in your panties at practice,” Coach Teiger tells Leslie, “Especially a mess as big as that one – I doubt you could have hidden that one very long.” But Leslie counters that the mess wasn’t that bad at practice. “The worst of it didn’t happen until later,” she explains. “It was only a little bit in my panties at practice,” she tells us, “The worst of it didn’t happen until I was already on my way home.” Coach Teiger looks at the girl dumbfounded. “You were holding most of that in when practice was over and you DIDN’T go immediately to the bathroom?” Coach Teiger questions her, “You decided to just go home without using the toilet first?” The implication, of course, is that it doesn’t seem logical that still having to go as bad as she claims she did, she would go home without using the toilet first. “I understand you’re telling me that the mess you already had in your panties wasn’t bad enough for me to even notice,” Coach Teiger continues, “But I don’t understand how you’d wait even longer and then make your accident a whole lot worse.” “I mean, those panties are disgusting, Leslie,” she tells the girl, once again pointing to the plastic bag containing the panties, “That’s quite a load you did in them regardless of when it happened.”

“It was Friday afternoon at the end of practice like I said,” Leslie reiterates, “At least that’s when it first happened.” “I guess I should have gone to the girls’ room in the locker room,” she acknowledges, “I guess that would have made things easier.” “But since I already did have some of it in my panties, I didn’t want to risk pulling them down in the girls’ room and getting caught with the mess,” she says, “So I just quickly grabbed my stuff and hightailed it out of there before that could happen.” “The rest just came out in my panties while I was driving home,” she explains, “And then I had a really bad mess to deal with.” The blonde haired cutie explains further that when she got home she headed immediately to the bathroom and into the shower to clean up. She tells us that she found a plastic bag to put her panties in and stuffed it into her gym bag with all her practice stuff. “I was trying to hide them from my parents,” she admits, “But then I just forgot they were in my bag until Saturday when the other girls in the locker room saw then. Upon questioning, she admits that she planned to take them to work on Sunday (she apparently works at the local Burger Barn) and toss them into the garbage dumpster there. “But I planned to stash them someplace else in the meantime,” she points out, “I certainly never planned to take them to the game on Saturday.”

Though her coach is still skeptical of the girl’s story, I’m inclined to believe it. If Leslie were going to lie, she might as well have said that the whole accident only happened on the way home from practice and that her panties were still totally clean when she left school on Friday. That way she wouldn’t have had a panty-soiling that the TVPC could punish at all. Coach Teiger also argues that this still should be the more serious violation of soiling “while representing the school” since she did have her severely messed panties with her at the game. But that’s simply not in accordance with TVPC rules. “The accident happened in school on Friday, not at the game on Saturday,” I tell the coach, “She’ll get punished for the panty-soiling, of course, but it’s only going to count as a regular accident.”

“But it was still awfully careless of her to have those soiled panties with her in the locker room at the game,” I also tell Coach Teiger, “And I can certainly take that into consideration when determining her punishment.” That was, of course, as much intended for Leslie as it was for her coach. Looking over the girl’s school toilet record, I see that this is her 3rd panty-soiling of the school year. And she’s also been punished previously this year for “Leaving Class Without Permission to Use the Girls’ Room.” I first give her a standard panty-soiling punishment – Having to serve 3 days detention and having to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 300 times. “But I’m afraid, young lady, that’s not quite going to be enough punishment in this case,” I tell Leslie. I then instruct Coach Teiger to return the messy panties to the junior cutie.

“What do you think should be done with those soiled panties?” I then ask Leslie. “Well, I don’t really want them back,” she says, “I’m certainly not going to wear them again after this.” I then give the poor girl some bad news. “Actually, you are indeed going to wear them again,” I tell her, “You’re actually going to wear those same panties to school tomorrow.” The poor girl then gets a pained look on her face because she knows what’s coming next. I then instruct Coach Teiger to escort Leslie down the hall to the 2nd Floor girls’ room. “In there, you will be required to clean out those panties,” I tell Leslie and note for the record, “And I suggest that you clean them thoroughly because, as I said, you’ll have to wear them to school tomorrow.” Not surprisingly, she’s more than a little upset to be getting that as punishment.

“But it’s only my 3rd offense,” she reminds me, “I know that’s nothing to be proud of, but I thought you only made girls clean up in school when it’s their 6th time.” “Not always,” I tell her, “Sometimes the circumstances warrant it sooner than that.” I tell her that this is one such circumstance. “You messed in those panties,” I remind her, “Why don’t you think it appropriate that you should have to clean up the mess that you made?” She really has no answer to that, but just mumbles something about how she had intended to just throw the messy panties away. “I really wasn’t going to clean them at all,” she says, “I was just hiding them until I could throw them away.” “I still don’t know why I should have to clean them now,” she laments, “I know you usually don’t make girls clean up in school until it’s their 6th time – I know you never make girls do that when it’s only their 3rd time.”

“Then you should have been more careful than to bring your disgusting soiled panties to a basketball game,” Coach Teiger tells her angrily, “Or maybe you shouldn’t have been trying to hide your accident in the first place.” The coach also points out to her that she’s not even being made to do the full clean-up in school – the kind that girls usually get when it’s a 6th offense. “We’re just making you clean the panties,” she is told, “That’s the easy part – You’re not having to clean up yourself like girls have to do when they do clean-up punishment in school. “You’re getting off pretty easy as far as I’m concerned,” Coach Teiger argues, “I mean, you didn’t even have to wipe yourself clean at all – Not even at home.” “You said you just rinsed it off in the shower – How easy is that,” Coach Teiger tells her, “And now you’re getting off pretty easy with the panties being the only thing you’re cleaning up at school.”

But Leslie doesn’t think that’s going to be easy. “You can see how big that mess in those panties is,” she says, “And it’s all dried out and crusty by now.” “It’s going to be almost impossible to completely clean them out now,” she argues. “Well, whose fault is that?” Coach Teiger angrily lectures her, beating me to the punch. “Maybe you should have cleaned them out when you first made the mess,” she suggests to Leslie, “If you hadn’t been trying to hide them like you did, you wouldn’t be having to clean out a worse mess now.” Leslie starts to argue some more but I bang my gavel to stop her. “To the girls’ room!” I tell her, pointing to the door, “You’ve got messy panties to clean out now.” Reluctantly, the perky blonde point guard does as she’s told – Giving me a look of disgust as she takes the plastic bag with her panties and heads out the door.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Next before the TVPC is a pretty sophomore brunette named Melanie. At first this seems like a straightforward panty-soiling case – She was caught with soiled panties in the School Library during 6th period this afternoon and she’s quite obviously got a load in her panties now as she stands before me. But just as I’m beginning the case, I’m handed another Violation Report by Mrs. Garrett (a lunchroom monitor) – A Violation Report also charging Melanie with “Cutting Lunch.” Of course, I’m very confused by this.

“Why do I have this?” I ask, holding up the Violation Report in question, “Since when is ‘Cutting Lunch’ a matter for the TVPC.” As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, the TVPC only has the power to punish toilet-related offenses. “Cutting Lunch,” therefore would seem to be a matter for Mr. Kaufman (the school Principal) rather than the TVPC. Sometimes we do get a girl who cuts class to go somewhere else to use the bathroom (and that would indeed be a TVPC matter), but that’s clearly not the case here. I mean, Melanie has obviously messed in her panties so it seems unlikely she cut her lunch period to go somewhere else to use the bathroom. Naturally, I point this out, but Mrs. Garrett explains that Mr. Kaufman sent it back to us. “Mr. Kaufman did originally have it,” Mrs. Garrett explains, “But after he investigated it, he told me to bring it here instead.” But reading over the Violation Report, I still don’t know why we have it instead of Mr. Kaufman. “I understand the violation for messing in her panties,” I point out, “Obviously THAT is a matter for the TVPC.” “But cutting a lunch period to hang out in the library – Even if she messed in her panties there – Is a different story,” I point out further, “Unless she actually cut lunch and went to the library for the express purpose of messing her panties there, this doesn’t seem to be a matter for the TVPC to deal with.”

“Um, sir,” comes a meek and quiet voice from “Defendant’s Row” – A voice accompanied by a raised hand, “I think I can explain why you have both cases.” That voice and that raised hand come from Melanie, the accused in both of these cases. Of course, I motion for her to take the podium and explain what is going on. “The thing is, sir, I didn’t actually have my accident while I was in the library,” she then explains, “Mrs. Buchman caught me with the accident while I was in there, but it actually happened 4th period in Art class.” “The thing is that I didn’t want to go to the bathroom then because I didn’t want to use the Basement girls’ room down by the Art room,” she tells us, “So I was trying to hold it until next period when I had Biology over in the Science Wing.” “But then I had an accident and went in my panties,” she explains further, “I guess I had to go worse than I thought and I guess I just waited too long to go.” “The thing is, though, that I made it through Art class without getting caught with the mess in my panties,” Melanie continues, “And then somehow I made it through Biology class without getting caught, either.” “I guess I had been lucky so far, but the thing is I had lunch the period after that,” she adds. The braces-clad brunette then goes on to tell us that this isn’t the first time she’s had an accident in school this year. “This is actually my 3rd time,” she tells us, “And one of my previous times was in the cafeteria 6th period during lunch.” “That meant that I had to do the extra punishment for a mess in my panties during lunch period,” she reminds us, “A 500 word essay posted on the wall and a week sitting at that stupid table in the corner.” “That was really embarrassing, sir,” she explains.

“So you didn’t want to get caught at lunch with another mess in your panties?” I ask her, “You didn’t want to risk getting that extra punishment again?” Melanie nods her head “yes.” “I figured the punishment I was going to get already was bad enough,” she explains, “I didn’t want to make it even worse by getting caught in the cafeteria at lunchtime.” “And I know for a 2nd time the extra punishment would be a lot worse, too,” she points out, “This time the letter for the wall would have to be 1,000 words and I’d have to spend a whole month sitting at that stupid ‘Shame Table’ in the corner.” Melanie obviously knows the school toilet rules quite well and I compliment her on that. And obviously, this would qualify as one of those situations when cutting a class – Or in this case, lunch – Would be considered a toilet-related violation and therefore a matter for the TVPC.

“I didn’t know what else I could do,” the pretty brunette tells us, “I didn’t want to get caught in the cafeteria with messed panties so I cut lunch and went to the library instead.” “I didn’t know what else I could do,” she tells us again. “Didn’t I do the right thing?” she asks, “I know we’re not supposed to be in the cafeteria in messed panties while the other girls are eating lunch.” “Well, the right thing to do would be to not mess in your panties in the first place,” I tell her, “The right thing would have been to just go to the girls’ room when you needed to and you wouldn’t have had to deal with messy panties in the first place.” But I really didn’t mean to sound so harsh. The new rules – With the extra consequences for a soiling in the cafeteria at lunchtime – Were indeed put in place so girls could hopefully eat their lunches without having to smell a load in someone else’s panties. And I must comment Melanie for having the consideration not to subject other girls to the smell of her panty-load while they were eating. But, on the other hand, we simply cannot condone a girl cutting her lunch period no matter what the circumstances. “I’ll certainly consider the circumstances when determining your punishment and noble circumstances they were,” I tell the sophomore beauty, “But I certainly cannot condone a girl cutting class or in this case, her lunch period.” “I’m afraid I’m also going to have to find you ‘Guilty’ on that violation as well,” I tell her and note for the record, “And that, of course, is going to be a separate punishment from the punishment for soiling your panties.”

For the panty-soiling – Her 3rd of the school year – I give her the usual punishment. That’ll be 3 days detention and having to write “I will not soil my panties in school again” 300 times. For cutting class (even though its’ only her lunch period, it’s still considered “cutting class”), I give her a break and only assign 2 days detention and 200 lines of “I will not cut my lunch period again.” Melanie thanks me for the leniency of her punishment, but she also looks at me puzzled. The implication of that being that she’s not sure what she should do if this happens to her again. “I understand that I’m not supposed to cut lunch,” she explains, “But I don’t want to get the extra punishment for having soiled panties at lunch, either.” It’s a good question and a good point for all the girls who may find themselves in messy panties as their lunch period rolls around.

“The thing to do is go to one of the cafeteria monitors before you sit down to lunch,” I tell her, “Tell them that you’ve had an accident and you want to be responsible about it.” “You’ll then have to go eat lunch at that special table with the girls on punishment but it’ll only be for that one day,” I explain, “You’ll have to sit there that day so the other girls won’t have to smell that load in your panties, but you won’t have to do the whole week or longer like you’d have to do otherwise.” “You just admit that you’ve done a mess in your panties and you can just eat your lunch sitting at that special table that day,” I explain further, “You’ll have to get punished for the panty-soiling, of course, but you won’t have to do the extra consequences.”

“O.K. – I’ll do that next time,” she tells me. “Well, next time how about using the girls’ room and NOT messing in your panties in the first place?” I ask her. “Yeah! – That’s the best idea,” she says with a smile, “That’s what I’ll try to do.”

For the next matter before the TVPC, we have 2 sisters – Becky, a pretty but shy blonde-haired senior and Darlene, a sarcastic and occasionally obnoxious sophomore brunette. Their mom ROSEANNE works in the school cafeteria. Both sisters come to the TVPC from detention and that tells you a lot about them. Darlene, a smart but perennial academic underachiever comes to us from the Principal’s detention room where she is being punished for cutting class. Becky, a hard working honor student, comes to us from the Main Corridor girls’ room where she is being punished with toilet cleaning punishment from the TVPC. That comes as a consequence for her accidentally messing on a toilet seat last week – The result of her sitting down to urinate in the toilet after having messed in her panties earlier that day. In other words, the 2 sisters couldn’t be more dissimilar – The perennially wise-cracking Darlene in trouble with the Principal for a school-related matter while the toilet-shy Becky is in trouble with the TVPC yet again for panty-soiling and other toilet-related matters related to it. Today, however, it’s Darlene who’s in trouble with the TVPC. Becky, apparently is only here as a victim and, of course, as a witness to it.

“She left the toilet unflushed, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Mars reports, a tinge of anger in her voice, “Darlene did a major B.M. in there and just left it there for her sister to find.” “Disgusting!” she adds, glaring at Darlene. Darlene, on the other hand, is beaming a broad smile. “I’d wipe that smile off my face if I were you, young lady,” I admonish Darlene, “The funnier you think this is, the worse your punishment is going to have to be to convince you otherwise.” “Obviously, she did it on purpose,” Miss Mars chimes in, again an unmistakable tinge of anger in her voice. “Obviously!” I acknowledge angrily, although more for Darlene’s benefit than that of Miss Mars, “She’ll obviously be getting the increased punishment that comes with doing this on purpose.” “But that isn’t even the worst of it,” I continue, again more for Darlene to hear, “This also constitutes ‘Bathroom-Related Teasing’ since she did it to harass Becky.” I then direct the TVPC clerk to draw up an additional Violation Report charging Darlene with that as well. Suddenly, the perennially wise-cracking sophomore doesn’t have much to say.

Becky explains that she was just heading in there (the Main Corridor girls’ room) to begin her after-school bathroom cleaning punishment for today. “I was assigned to the Main Corridor girls’ room today and I was supposed to be scrubbing all the toilets,” Becky tells us, “So I was wheeling my bucket in there with my supplies and my scrubbrush.” “And just as I’m heading in there, I see Darlene,” she explains, “At first I figured she just stopped in there to use the girls’ room before reporting for detention.” But Becky explains further that Darlene then told her, “I left a little present for you in Stall 3.” “I didn’t know what she was talking about until I went to look in Stall 3,” Becky continues, “And in there, I found what she had left in the toilet.” “Gross!” Becky turns and tells her sister, “It looked like an elephant took a dump in there!” “Gross?” Darlene snaps back at her sister in mock astonishment, “You mess in your pants and then mess on the toilet seat and you call me gross?” “Well, at least I don’t do it in my pants,” Darlene continues, “At least I do it in the toilet like I’m supposed to.”

“What you’re supposed to do is flush the toilet when you’re done,” I tell Darlene angrily, “You don’t get to lecture anyone on what they should do with the toilet if you’re not going to flush it.” “Perhaps you’d like to practice that by staying after school and flushing every toilet in the whole school,” I suggest. Becky laughs out loud at the suggestion of that. “I wouldn’t be too happy about all this either, Becky,” I tell the senior blonde beauty, “Your sister is right – At least she does do it in the toilet like you’re BOTH supposed to do.” “Leaving the toilet unflushed like Darlene did certainly is gross,” I acknowledge, “But I don’t think it’s anywhere near as gross as going in your pants, instead.” “That was your 5th time messing in your panties already this school year,” I point out to Becky, “Don’t you think it’s about time you learned to do that in the toilet in school, instead?” “But I do do that in the toilet in school – I’ve done that in the girls’ rooms here lots of times,” Becky says, fighting back tears, “I even did that in the girls’ room today during 7th period.” “It’s just that I have accidents sometimes,” the toilet-troubled senior tells us.

“Sometimes?” Darlene chimes in with a laugh, “You only have accidents SOMETIMES?” “It’s more like you do it in the toilet sometimes,” Darlene says, “And that’s if you do it in the toilet in school at all.” “Only 5 accidents so far this year – That’s a laugh,” Darlene continues, “It seems like a lot more than that when I get home from school and Becky is in our bathroom cleaning out her underwear.” “You mean, when you get home from DETENTION,” Becky snipes back, “Don’t you have detention just about every day.” “Well, at least I get detention for normal stuff,” Darlene tells her sister, “At least I’m not in detention because I won’t take a shit in the girls’ room, BECKY!” I’m about to grab my gavel and stop this (and, of course, admonish Darlene for her choice of words) but Becky doesn’t miss a beat in firing back. “Well, at least I’m not failing half of my classes, DARLENE,” Becky points out, “At least I’m going to graduate.” “Well, at least I’m not failing toilet training, BECKY,” Darlene tells her, “At least I’m not going to have to graduate wearing pull-ups or something.” With that, I do grab my gavel and bang it hard. “That’s enough from you, too,” I tell them, “That’s MORE than enough.”

“This is not about your sister, Darlene,” I tell the petite sophomore brunette, “This is about you.” “Becky already has her punishment,” I remind Darlene, “She’s got 1,000 lines and a week of toilet sitting detention for the panty-soiling and another 500 times and a week of bathroom cleaning detention for messing on the toilet seat.” That’s actually a pretty harsh punishment considering that Becky’s messing of the toilet seat only happened because she went in there to urinate and avoid wetting her pants and thus, having a “doubleheader” accident. But as accidental as it was, Becky did have a pretty bad accident and got quite a bit of it on the toilet seat.

But as I noted, today’s TVPC case is about Darlene and not Becky. Upon questioning, Darlene admits that she had been holding it in since lunchtime in order to pull this stunt on her sister. “I almost had to give up and go to the girls’ room during 8th period English,” Darlene tells us, “No way was I going to go in my pants like Becky does.” “Didn’t I say enough, Darlene?” I ask her, “If you don’t watch that mouth of yours, you may very well find yourself going in your pants yourself – As in being on toilet suspension if you know what I mean.” Darlene assures me that she does and wisely has nothing further to say. After 8th period English today, Darlene apparently checked to see which bathroom Becky would be assigned to and then, as Becky said earlier, Darlene went in there and used the toilet before reporting for detention with the Principal.

Checking back with Miss Mars, I ask her about Darlene’s load in the toilet – A load which should still be sitting there. “Becky compared the load to that of an elephant,” I point out to the pretty, blonde-haired gym teacher, “Is Darlene going to have a problem in a little while when she does flush it?” “Becky exaggerated a bit,” Miss Mars explains with a smile. “I mean, it is quite a big load – Especially for a girl of Darlene’s size,” Miss Mars says, “But it’s not nearly big enough to clog the toilet or anything like that.”

Moving on to Darlene’s punishment, I first sentence her to write “I will not leave the toilet unflushed in the girls’ room in school again and I will especially not do it to harass Becky or anyone else again” 500 times. “That’s 250 times for leaving the toilet unflushed and another 250 for doing it to harass Becky,” I tell her and note for the record. Thinking about it for a moment, I then give her a week of after school bathroom cleaning – Again, half of that for each offense. “You know, I was only going to give you detention time flushing the toilets,” I tell her, “That’s really the most appropriate punishment for what you’ve done.” “But with your attitude, Darlene, I didn’t think it would be enough,” I explain further, “So instead, you’re going to have to get down on your hands and knees and scrub toilets like Becky has to do.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Becky smile a bit. This time, though, I’ll let it slide. “Oh! – I almost forgot,” I tell Darlene next, “You’ll write the phrase ‘Bowel Movement’ 1,000 times.” “That’s what proper young ladies have,” I inform her, “Not that other thing that you said.” With that, I direct Miss Mars to escort both girls to the Main Corridor girls’ room. Becky will resume her toilet cleaning duties and Darlene has a toilet to flush. Afterwards, Darlene will finish today’s detention with the Principal. But tomorrow, she’ll be cleaning bathrooms with us. A more onerous detention (most notably, bathroom cleaning detention) has priority over a less onerous detention like just a regular detention with the Principal.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Just as I’m about to call the next case, I see Miss Callahan in the back of the committee room seeking to be recognized. I saw her enter the committee room as we were dealing with that case. With her are Paisley and Lexi – 2 blonde haired beauties who are cheerleaders for our school. I cannot help but notice the somewhat disheveled appearance of both girls – quite a contrast from their usual meticulously dressed and groomed selves. I can only assume that the 2 girls are about to be charged with toilet violations, but as I motion Miss Callahan to the podium, your guess is as good as mine as to what this is about.

“Um…um…um…,” the young and pretty Miss Callahan stammers as she begins. “Mr. Chairman, I don’t know even where to begin with this case,” she tells me, shaking her head, “You are not going to believe what I caught these 2 doing in the girls’ room just now.” I note that Paisley and Lexi are just staring at the ground. Apparently whatever it is they were doing is not something they’re proud of. “I’ve been doing this a long time, Miss Callahan,” I tell her with a smile, “I doubt that there is very much a girl could do in the girls’ room that I haven’t seen before.” Miss Callahan then takes a deep breath and readies herself once again to tell me what this case is about. “Well, Mr. Chairman,” she begins again, “I caught these 2 …um…I mean I caught them…I um...um.” “Just tell me, Miss Callahan – Just blurt it out,” I tell her, “I can’t decide this case if you don’t actually tell me what Paisley and Lexi are accused of doing in the girls’ room.”

“Well, Mr. Chairman, I um…caught these 2 together in the 2nd Floor girls’ room just now,” she tells me, “And I mean, Paisley and Lexi were together in the same toilet stall.” “I mean, Mr. Chairman, that the 2 of them were REALLY together in that same toilet stall,” she continues, still searching for the right words, “I mean the 2 of them were really going at it – I mean Paisley and Lexi were having sex together in a stall in the 2nd Floor girls’ room.” The young Art teacher pauses for a moment to let it sink in and take in the stunned reaction of the assembled crowd. I get the picture but still, I’m going to need some more details to properly decide this case. Just having 2 girls together in the same bathroom stall is already a toilet violation, but it isn’t a very serious one. Actually engaging in a heated sexual encounter in the girls’ room, however, is another matter entirely. Accordingly, I ask her to continue.

“I know it’s a bit awkward, Miss Callahan,” I tell her, “But I really do need you tell me specifically what Paisley and Lexi were doing in the girls’ room together.” She readies herself to speak once again. “Well, both girls had their skirts completely off,” she tells us, “And Lexi’s hands were both inside of Paisley’s bra.” “And Paisley’s hands were deep down into Lexi’s panties,” Miss Callahan continues, “She was working the girl’s crotch pretty hard.” “These 2 girls were really going at it, Mr. Chairman,” she tells us. “Paisley’s skirt was also flung into the next stall,” Miss Callahan goes on, “And those panties were pretty wet in front.” “At first, I thought that Paisley had wet her pants,” the young teacher then explains, “But when I took a closer look I saw that they weren’t wet with urine, but …well, um…wet with you know what.”

With that, I put up my hand to stop her. “I get the picture,” I tell her, “This was a full-blown sexual encounter right there in one of our girls’ room stalls.” Miss Callahan nods her head. “There was no telling how far it would have gone if I hadn’t stopped them,” she tells me, “I mean, it had already gone pretty far, by the time I got there.”

Turning now to Paisley and Lexi, neither girl denies what happened. “I don’t know, sir,” Lexi answers when I ask the 2 of them about it, “I guess we just got carried away.” That answer leaves me momentarily speechless – Obviously, just getting carried away doesn’t quite explain all this. “There’s nothing wrong with 2 girls being together like that,” Paisley then perks up and tells me, a tinge of pride – Or at least a little less shame – In her voice. “Lexi and I have been friends a real long time,” she then explains, “And suddenly we realized that we had feelings for each other – Suddenly we realized that we belonged together as more than just friends.” “There’s nothing wrong with 2 girls being together,” she says again, this time even prouder than before, “It’s just as natural for us as it is for a boy and a girl being together like that.”

“No one is saying that it’s wrong for you and Lexi to be together,” I tell Paisley, “We’re just saying it’s wrong for you girls to be together like that in the girls’ room.” “Be together all you want at home or someplace else,” I advise the 2 of them, “But just not in the girls’ room at school.” “Our girls’ rooms are there for girls to take care of their necessary bathroom business,” I point out, “They are not there for you 2 girls to have sex in.” Both girls nod their head – Presumably in acknowledgement of that. “We’re very sorry,” Paisley tells us, “We promise that it won’t happen again.” Lexi nods her head in agreement with that. “It better not,” I tell them both, “You 2 will both be very sorry young ladies if we have any more sexual activity in one of our girls’ rooms.” “Still, you both will already be receiving a very strong incentive not to have sex in one of our girls’ rooms again.” By that, of course, I’m referring to their punishments.

Neither girl has a lengthy toilet record, but faithful readers of the TVPC may recall these 2 senior beauties from our February 3rd TVPC session. Paisley and Lexi were punished that day not only for loitering in the girls’ room but lying to their teachers to have an arranged meeting in the girls’ room that afternoon. Thankfully, they were only caught talking in the girls’ room that day and nothing worse. Still, we don’t take students lying to their teachers lightly. That wasn’t just a minor offense and neither, of course, is this one. Accordingly, each girl is sentenced to a week in detention and will have to write “I will not engage in sexual activity of any kind in the girls’ room at school again” 1,000 times.

As you might expect, neither girl is happy with the severity of their punishment. They both begin to protest, but I put up my hand to stop them. “You 2 were having a heated sexual encounter in one of our girls’ room stalls,” I remind them. “It isn’t about your sexual orientation,” I then explain, “It’s about appropriate behavior in the girls’ room and that certainly wasn’t it.” They start to protest again, but this time I bang my gavel to stop them. “If you don’t want to write your 1,000 times on paper, we can always have you write them on the blackboard in detention,” I warn them sternly, “I’ll think you’ll find that’s a lot harder, though.” Neither girl is particularly smart, but they know enough to heed that warning – 1,000 lines on the blackboard is indeed a nightmare. Fortunately, we get no more arguing from these 2 very pretty cheerleaders.

I’m a bit surprised to see that the next girl to be called before the TVPC is Cheyenne, a tall, blonde-haired beauty who is captain of our cheerleading squad. Fortunately for her, this TVPC visit is about something that happened in school today – Specifically, during Cheyenne’s 6th period lunch – Rather than at a game where Cheyenne was representing the school. Reading over the Violation Report – Filed by Miss Spellman, who was monitoring the girls’ room across from the cafeteria that period today – I see that Cheyenne is charged with “Improper Disposal of a Sanitary Napkin.” The charge surprises me very much.

“She just threw it on the floor, Mr. Chairman – She just threw it on the floor,” Miss Spellman reports, “Cheyenne just took her used tampon and threw it on the floor.” “No, I didn’t!” Cheyenne says emphatically in her defense, “I didn’t just throw it on the floor like she said.” Miss Spellman then just glares at the girl in astonishment. “Cheyenne, I saw it there on the girls’ room floor,” the pretty Math teacher explains, “It was right there on the floor in the stall that you just came out of.” “Meg was going into the stall right after you,” Miss Spellman continues, “And she let out a scream when she saw that disgusting thing sitting there on the floor.” “I saw it there on the floor myself, Cheyenne,” Miss Spellman repeats, “So don’t tell me that you didn’t just leave it there on the floor.” “O.K. – I guess I did leave it on the floor,” Cheyenne suddenly admits, “But it’s not like I just haphazardly threw it on the floor.” “You’re making it sound like I don’t care where I put my tampons,” Cheyenne then tells us, “You make it sound like I have a habit of just throwing them on the floor.” “Well, I don’t know what you have a habit of doing,” Miss Spellman tells Cheyenne, “I certainly don’t know what you USUALLY do with you used tampons.” “But I do know what you did today,” she continues, “And what you did today was throw it on the floor.”

Before Cheyenne can answer her back, I use my gavel to stop her. “Let’s just cut to the chase, shall we,” I tell Cheyenne. “Did you change your tampon today during lunch period?” I then ask her, “And if you did, what did you do with your used one?” At first, the pretty blonde cheerleader is reluctant to answer, but I press the question again. Finally, she does answer – Well, sort of. “You don’t understand, sir,” she tells me, “That little box that we’re supposed to put them in was full.” “I went to put it in that little box but the box was already jammed full,” Cheyenne explains, “What else was I supposed to do with it?”

“Well, you’re certainly not supposed to just leave it on the floor!” Miss Spellman tells her, a tinge of anger still evident in her voice, “Do you know how disgusting it is to go in there and see that on the floor?” “At least I didn’t try to flush it down the toilet,” Cheyenne snaps back, “That’s what makes a real mess in there.” “Girls try to flush them down the toilet and then the toilet gets clogged,” she continues, “Then when girls do you know what in the toilet, it overflows and makes a REAL mess all over the floor.” Why are you guys harassing me over this?” she turns and speaks directly to me, “Why don’t you go and punish the girls who try to flush their tampons down the toilet? “That’s what the real problem is,” she tells me, “Why don’t you punish them instead of me?”

Naturally, I’m not very pleased with that and I sternly warn her about her attitude. “As a matter of fact, we do punish girls who flush their tampons and other things down the toilet,” I tell her sternly, “In fact we’ve got 2 girls currently on toilet suspension for doing just that.” “Unless you want to join them on toilet suspension, I’d watch my attitude if I were you,” I warn her, “I wouldn’t think it’d be easy being a cheerleader while on toilet suspension.” “I agree that what you did isn’t as serious as flushing one down the toilet,” I point out, “So, especially considering this is only your first offense for this, your punishment isn’t going to be all that bad.” “But having a bad attitude isn’t going to help you,” I further warn her, “It’s only a signal to me that more than the usual dose of punishment is necessary.”

Cheyenne isn’t one of our smarter girls, but I do think she gets it. She apologizes for what she said and explains that she was just having a really bad day. “If it wasn’t bad enough that I got my period today, I got detention for being late, to school,” she says, “And that was because I was sitting on the toilet for like forever this morning and I just couldn’t go.” “I always go at home in the morning and then usually I don’t have to go again at school,” Cheyenne explains, “But today I not only got my period, but I just couldn’t go at home before coming to school this morning.” She motions to her stomach while saying that, so I assume she’s referencing having a bowel movement. “So naturally that means that I’m going to have to take a dump at school today,” she explains further, “And to make it even worse, I ended up having to take it in the girls’ room outside the cafeteria during lunch.” “I just hate it when I have to take a dump in school and I hate that particular girls’ room worst of all,” Cheyenne rambles on, “At least in the other girls’ rooms, you can get a little privacy, but in the girls’ room by the cafeteria, it’s like a herd of cattle in there at lunchtime.” As the very pretty, blonde-haired cheerleader rambles on, I motion for her to speed it up and get to the point.

“The point is, sir, that I was having a really bad day,” she says, “I got my period and then I not only had to take a shit at school, but I had to take it in the cafeteria girls’ room at lunchtime.” “It’s bad enough that a girl can’t even take a shit in peace,” she tells me, “But then when I went to get rid of my tampon, that stupid little box was already full.” “The box was full, sir – What else was I supposed to do,” Cheyenne tells me, “I didn’t want to flush it down the toilet, so I left it there next to that little box.” “I was just having a bad day, sir,” she tells me again, “It was a really bad day.”

“Your day isn’t getting any better now,” I tell her, “And, quite frankly, I’m quite surprised to hear that kind of language from you.” Cheyenne then looks at me dejectedly. “I wasn’t supposed to say the ‘S-word’ was I?” she asks me, “That’s a toilet violation, too, isn’t it?” “Indeed it is,” I tell her, “It’s called ‘Use of Profanity to Refer to Bodily Functions’ and for that, you’re going to have to write the phrase ‘Bowel Movement’ 1,000 times.” Naturally, Cheyenne isn’t pleased to hear that. “1,000 times?” she ask me in shock. “Yes indeed – 1,000 times,” I tell her, “You used the word twice.” “You’re lucky I’m only counting that as 1 violation,” I point out, “I could just have easily counted it as 2 separate violations and given you 1,000 times just for the 2nd time alone.”

But, of course, Cheyenne’s punishment won’t end there – We still need to punish her for leaving her used tampon on the floor. As I’ve noted, it’s not as serious as trying to flush it down the toilet, but it certainly doesn’t belong on the floor, either. “Next time, the box is full, just throw it in one of the garbage cans in the bathroom,” I tell her, “Put the used one back in the wrapper or wrap it up in toilet paper if you need to,” I suggest, “But make sure it goes in the garbage and not on the floor.” “You’ll write a 1,000 word essay on ‘The Proper Disposal of Sanitary Napkins,’” I tell her and note for the record, “And you’ll have 2 days of emptying those Sanitary Napkin boxes after school.” “I figured you’d like to see to it firsthand that those little boxes got emptied,” I tell her.

“Don’t do me any favors,” she then snaps back sarcastically. To put I mildly, I’m not amused. “So far you only have to empty the boxes into the garbage,” I point out, “If you like we can always have you count the contents of each box and make a report of it.” “No sir, I’ll just empty them, thank you,” she tells me, suddenly a bit more contrite, “I’m sorry about that.” Thinking for a moment, I decide to let it go. Officially, Cheyenne has been assigned to 2 days of bathroom cleaning detention, but I make note that she’s only to be assigned to emptying sanitary napkin disposal boxes. As bathroom cleaning detention goes, that’s a pretty cushy assignment.

Our last case is that of Cecily, a pretty honor student with light brown hair. She’s a senior and the Recording Secretary of our Student Council. Today, she’s facing 2 toilet violation charges. First, she is accused of improperly squatting over the toilet to urinate. Second, she is charged with not flushing the toilet when she was done. Both of these offenses are alleged to have occurred in the Main Corridor girls’ room during 4th period today.

As I piece together the facts of this case, it seems that during 4th period today, Cecily got a pass from her Calculus teacher to go to the girls’ room – Specifically, the Main Corridor girls’ room. Apparently, Cecily doesn’t particularly like the Main Corridor girls’ room. “I almost never go to the bathroom in there – That place is just filthy,” she tells us, “There’s just too many girls using that bathroom all day and it’s never clean after like 2nd period.” “I usually do my business in the 2nd Floor girls’ room,” she says, “I always go right after 5th period English class.” “Sometimes I go in the Science Wing girls’ room or in the New Addition,” she points out, “They’re not so bad – I use them sometimes, too.” As Cecily tells it, she has a regular routine – Sometimes a bowel movement, too, but always at least a urination – In the 2nd Floor girls’ room before going down to the cafeteria for her 6th period lunch. But today, apparently that routine got disrupted. “Maybe I drank too much water after gym class,” Cecily speculates, “But whatever it was, something made me have to pee really bad before my usual time.”

“I had to get permission from Mrs. DeNominator to go to the girls’ room then,” the skinny and nervous senior honor student explains, “And I ended up going to the Main Corridor girls’ room across from Calculus class.” Cecily first tells us that she didn’t want to sit on the toilet seats in that girls’ room. “I don’t mind sitting down in the 2nd Floor girls’ room or some of the other ones,” she explains, “But no way am I going to sit on those toilet seats in the Main Corridor girls’ room.” “In there today, I just squatted over the toilet,” she explains further. “Actually, you squatted over the toilet SEAT,” chimes in Mrs. Johns, our ace bathroom monitor who caught her today, “You didn’t lift up the seat before you squatted to urinate.” “Well, I didn’t want to touch it,” the pretty senior explains, “I didn’t want to touch it with my hands anymore than I wanted to put my butt down on it.” “I thought we’re allowed to squat in the girls’ room if we want to,” she says. “I did pee IN the toilet,” Cecily assures us, “I know how to squat and go without peeing on the toilet seat.”

But, of course, none of that matters and I have to explain the TVPC rules to her. She’s a good girl and hasn’t had much experience with the TVPC through her high school career. “It’s good that you didn’t actually urinate on the seat,” I explain to the pretty but uptight senior, “This would certainly be a more serious offense had you done that.” “But leaving the toilet seat down while you squat over the toilet is still a violation of TVPC rules,” I tell her. “You can squat and urinate that way if you want to, but you definitely have to lift up the toilet seat first,” I explain, “You can’t squat with the toilet seat still down.” Cecily claims that she didn’t know that. “I don’t usually squat when I pee at school,” she tells us, “Like I said before, I usually don’t use the Main Corridor girls’ room.” But I, of course, explain to her that ignorance of the rules is not an excuse and I find her “Guilty” on that charge – Specifically, “Squatting to Urinate with the Toilet Seat Still Down.” For punishment, she’ll have to serve a day in detention and write a 1,000 word essay explaining the proper procedure for squatting over the toilet.

Moving on to the next charge – Specifically, “Not Flushing the Toilet After Urinating” – she pleads “Guilty. “I didn’t want to touch the flush handle anymore than I wanted to touch the toilet seat,” she says, “I just thought it was disgusting.” “I’m sorry,” she says, contritely, “But I just didn’t flush.” “If you have to you can use toilet paper when you grab the flusher,” I tell her, “Or you can flush with your foot if you want to.” “But somehow, you pull that little handle when you’re done using the toilet,” I lecture her, a bit angrily, “You don’t just leave it there in the toilet for the next girl to see.” “You complain about some of our girls’ rooms being disgusting,” I point out to Cecily, “Well, what do you think it does to the girls’ room when the toilets are left unflushed.”

“It was only pee,” Cecily reminds me, “I know that I’m supposed to flush it, but it’s not like I left a #2 in the toilet.” “Flushing the toilet is a necessary part of using the toilet – At least in OUR girls’ rooms it is,” I remind her, “And that’s regardless of which particular function you happen to have done at the time.” “Yes sir,” Cecily acknowledges. “While it’s true that leaving the toilet unflushed after a bowel movement would be a more serious violation,” I point out, “Leaving it unflushed after urinating is still a violation for which you must be punished.”

Accordingly, I also sentence this senior Student Council Secretary to 2 days detention and to write 200 times, “I must learn to flush the toilet after I use it.” Cecily seems more than a little surprised at the severity of her punishment – With both of her violations, she now has to stay for 3 hours of detention, write 200 repetitive sentences, and write a 1,000 word essay. Mrs. Karbopple, a member of the TVPC, also seems to think it’s a bit too severe. She points out that 200 times is typically the punishment a girl gets when she leaves a bowel movement unflushed in the toilet. “But as Cecily said, she only urinated in the toilet,” Mrs. Karbopple reminds me, “Isn’t it usually only 100 times for that?” But I point out to Mrs. Karbopple that most of our unflushed toilet cases are of girls leaving it unflushed by accident. “Those girls are usually in a hurry or something and just forget to flush,” I tell her, “But in Cecily’s case, she left it unflushed on purpose – She actually made a decision not to flush the toilet.” “You get extra punishment when you do something like that,” I tell Mrs. Karbopple, but that’s obviously intended just as much for Cecily.

So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:16 PM.

[spandexman]

Thanks again

Great report and like the stall fun. Girls should be together more often.