Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of April 14, 2014.

For the first matter before the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) this afternoon, I call the name of a tall and very beautiful senior named Hope. Hope, well known throughout the school as the star goalie of our girls’ soccer team, has been charged with “Panty-Soiling” – The accident occurring while Hope was serving Saturday Detention this past Saturday. Saturday Detention is NOT a TVPC program – Its run by our school principal and is therefore strictly for non-toilet-related offenses – But as with any school program, the toilet behavior of the girls in detention is subject to TVPC jurisdiction. The detention is for 5 hours on Saturday morning and they get a 10 minute bathroom break in the middle. As part of the detention, they are assigned to perform some school service and this Saturday, as I understand it, they were assigned to paint the new bleachers in the football stadium. I’m told that Hope was given this detention for getting into a fight with another student, but that’s really of no concern to the TVPC. What is of concern to the TVPC, of course, is that toward the end of the detention on Saturday, Hope really messed in her panties quite badly.

Miss Robinson, a very pretty Science teacher, was in charge of the detention on Saturday and it is she, of course, who has brought the “Panty-Soiling” charge against Hope. “Well, I’d say it’s a pretty easy case, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Robinson tells me, “I doubt she’s even going to deny it because everyone in detention that day could see her doing it.” “They get a bathroom break from 10:25-10:35, but for some reason Hope didn’t go,” she explains, “And then at about 12:30 or so, she started going in her panties.” “It was really gross, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Robinson continues, “It was really a lot and before long, the whole thing was in Hope’s pants.” “I just don’t get it, Mr. Chairman,” the lovely Science teacher adds, shaking her head and looking towards Hope, “I don’t know why she didn’t do it in the toilet when she had the chance.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to use the toilet,” Hope then angrily blurts out, apparently referring to Miss Robinson. “You only let us use port-o-potties,” the tall, athletic beauty continues, “A port-o-potty is not a real toilet.” With that, I hear an audible groan from those assembled in the committee room. This is all a very familiar story with Hope. She hates doing her business (at least bowel movements) in port-o-potties – A very dubious aversion for a soccer player. Our soccer games are often played at fields where port-o-potties are the only available bathroom facilities. Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know what problems this has caused Hope in the past. “It’s a place to relieve yourself,” Miss Robinson answers her back, “It’s a place you can urinate and it’s a place you can have a bowel movement.” “It’s certainly better doing it in a port-o-potty than going in your pants,” she adds. “Not by much,” Hope quickly snaps back – A comment that draws quite a few surprised looks in our committee room.

“Is that really something you want to argue, Hope?” I question her, “Are you really telling us that you’d almost prefer going in your pants to using a port-o-potty?” “Unfortunately, I think that says a lot about your problem, young lady,” I lecture Hope, “It’s obviously that attitude that has caused you so many accidents at your soccer games.” “Maybe we should charge her with doing it on purpose,” Miss Robinson suggests, “I mean, she did refuse to go use the port-o-potty when she obviously knew she had to go really bad.” Going in your pants on purpose is, of course, a more serious violation than simply having an accident.

Bu the suggestion that it was more than just an accident really offends Hope. “It wasn’t on purpose and you know it!” Hope tells her, raising her voice in the process. “You know how hard I was trying to hold that in,” the gorgeous soccer star continues angrily, “You know how desperate I was trying to make it through detention without having an accident.” With that, I must bang my gavel and warn Hope to watch her tone. Miss Robinson then gives the girl a sympathetic look and apologizes for suggesting that she may have done it on purpose. “Alright, I know it was an accident – I know you were trying to hold it in,” she tells the senior beauty, “I know how upset and embarrassed you were when you wound up with it in your pants.” “But I have to say, Hope, that I still don’t get it,” the Science teacher continues, “I still don’t get why you wouldn’t just go use the port-o-potty when you had the chance.” “I mean, I understand how you really hate port-o-potties, but come on, Hope,” she says, “It’s got to be better than going in your pants like you did.”

“But they have regular bathrooms at the football field,” Hope answers back in frustration, “They have decent bathrooms – REGULAR TOILETS – right behind the concession stand.” Hope goes on to explain that when she went over to use the girls’ room there, she found both bathrooms (including the boys’ room) locked. “I know you had a key to open those bathrooms – I know you had keys to everything at the field,” she tells Miss Robinson. “But you wouldn’t open up those bathrooms,” Hope continues, “You made us use the port-o-potties that were there for the construction people working on the football stadium.” “I just wanted to do it in a regular toilet,” Hope argues, now suddenly fighting back tears, “What was wrong with letting me use a regular toilet for what I had to do?”

But Miss Robinson, while not overtly antagonistic to Hope, is not overly sympathetic, either. “There was nothing wrong with those port-o-potties,” she tells Hope, “There was absolutely no reason why you couldn’t use one.” “As I said before, you could urinate in there and you could have a bowel movement in there,” Miss Robinson continues, “There’s no reason you had to be holding it in like you did and it’s certainly no excuse for messing in your panties.” “For Pete’s sake, Hope – The other girls in detention managed to go in that port-o-potty,” she tells the senior beauty, “None of them ended up going in their pants like you did.”

But Hope quickly fires back. “None of them did what I had to do,” Hope says, “They may have peed in the port-o-potties but no one did the other thing – No one did what I had to do.” “I told you what I needed to do and you still wouldn’t open the regular girls’ room for me,” she tells Miss Robinson again, “What’s so wrong with just wanting to use a regular toilet when you gotta take a shit?” Of course, that only causes me to bang my gavel and admonish Hope for her word choice. Furthermore, I direct the TVPC clerk to draw up a Violation Report for “Use of Profanity to Refer to Bodily Functions.” Warning her again to watch her tone, I then assign Hope to write the phrase “Bowel Movement” 500 times. With that, most girls would realize that they’ve already said too much, but Hope is not like other girls. “I bet if you had to do that, you’ve have opened up the girls’ room,” she then snipes at Miss Robinson, “There’s no way you’d be doing that kind of thing in a port-o-potty.” Once again, I’m forced to angrily bang my gavel. This time Hope gets 500 times of “I will not call out at meeting of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee again.”

Moving on to the actual punishment for Hope’s panty-soiling, I’m surprised to discover that she’s only got 2 previous panty-soiling offenses this year – A doubleheader accident in English class back in December and a regular panty-soiling in French class in January. She does have an offense for unnecessarily holding in a bowel movement at a soccer game (because of past accident problems, Hope had this special condition during soccer games) and another offense for using a faculty bathroom at Sunnydale HS at a soccer game. And, also in January she managed to clog a toilet in the 2nd Floor girls’ room with a particularly big bowel movement and a lot of toilet paper. I also understand that this panty-soiling on Saturday was a particularly severe one. Accordingly, more than the usual does of punishment for a panty-soiling is clearly in order here. Thinking carefully about it, I then assign Hope to a full week in detention and having to write, “I will not soil my panties in school or in detention again” 350 times.

But with that accomplished, I also have a bit of a change of heart. “Do you think you can manage to control that mouth of yours?” I then ask Hope. The tall, athletic beauty assures me that she can. “If you can manage to just sit quietly in detention, I’ll give you a break,” I tell Hope, “If you can manage to control your mouth the rest of the afternoon, I’ll reduce your punishment on the calling out to 100 times.” Hope expresses her gratitude for that and assures us that she can and will be quiet. That as she leaves the podium and takes her seat in the detention section.

I’m quite disappointed to next call before the TVPC a pretty and energetic junior named Krista. And I’m even more disappointed – Bordering on horrified – As I read the details of this case. Krista certainly has had her toilet troubles in school – 4 panty-soiling accidents this year – But I never would have expected something like this from her. She stands accused of “Using a Faculty Bathroom” (specifically, the one in the librarian’s office) and leaving it a mess. As of now, she’s also charged with “Clogging the Toilet” (and that’s a “Category #3 clog – Toilet Paper Only) but given the description that I’m reading, I have to wonder why she isn’t charged with worse. Asking Krista for her plea, however, I’m quite surprised to hear the junior beauty answer “Not Guilty” to all charges. “I didn’t do it,” she says simply, “I just didn’t do it.”

Turning to Miss Mars who investigated this incident along with Mrs. Duncan, I ask her to describe what the found in the faculty bathroom. “The toilet in there was just completely stuffed with toilet paper,” Miss Mars explains, “I mean the toilet paper was just literally piled above the rim of the toilet.” “At first, I thought it was some kind of prank – Like someone just unraveled a whole roll of toilet paper into the bowl,” she explains further, “But when I looked closer, I could see that all of the toilet paper had actually been used.” “It looked like someone had cleaned themselves up after having an accident,” Mrs. Duncan then chimes in, “That would explain why someone would have to use so much toilet paper and why there was no bowel movement in the toilet to go along with it.” Miss Mars confirms that she spoke to the custodian who cleaned it up and he confirmed that there was no bowel movement in the toilet with it. “It was all toilet paper he told me,” Miss Mars confirms. “We both think that Krista had another accident and snuck in there to try to clean herself up,” Mrs. Duncan then explains, a point to which Miss Mars nods her head in agreement. “She probably made it in there without getting caught with the accident and then tried to clean up the mess with the toilet paper,” Mrs. Duncan continues, “And then her use of toilet paper just got out of hand and we have what we have in that bathroom.”

Given that explanation, however, I have to wonder why we don’t also have a charge of “Panty-Soiling” against Krista. “Well, we don’t have any messy panties from Krista and nobody apparently saw her with messy panties, either,” Miss Mars answers, “I mean, we think she messed in her panties and the pile of toilet paper in the toilet looks like it was from a girl cleaning herself up, but we just don’t have any messy panties to charge her with that.” “Of course we did a panty-inspection on Krista and she’s wearing clean panties now,” Mrs. Duncan chimes in, “But that doesn’t mean she didn’t change into a spare pair when she was cleaning herself up in the faculty bathroom. Mrs. Duncan acknowledges, however, that they never found any messy panties in that bathroom. “I don’t know what she did with them,” Mrs. Duncan says, “But at least she was smart enough not to leave them in the bathroom.” Leaving soiled panties in the bathroom is, of course, a serious offense that requires a toilet suspension.

“I didn’t have any messy panties,” Krista then states emphatically, “There aren’t any messy panties because I didn’t mess in my panties!” “I just didn’t do it – I just didn’t do any of it,” she continues, now starting to cry, “I didn’t mess in my panties, I didn’t use the faculty bathroom, I didn’t use all that toilet paper, and I didn’t clog the toilet.” “I just didn’t do it, sir,” she tells me, now really breaking down in tears, “Why do I have to get punished for stuff I didn’t do?” The pretty brunette then rambles on about how she’s had accidents because she doesn’t like “going poop” at school. But she says that she’s been trying really hard to do better – She tells us how she does “go poop” at school sometimes now because she hates having accidents and is tired of getting toilet punishments. “I haven’t gone in my panties in a while,” she tells us, “I haven’t done that since February.” “I had to go today and I did it in the girls’ room like I was supposed to,” Krista continues, “I hated that but I didn’t want to have another accident and get another punishment.” “But now I’m going to get punished anyway,” she says, her frustration evident, “It’s just not fair that I’m going to get punished for something I didn’t do.”

Krista seems adamant and quite sincere and I think she’s learned her lesson about lying to the TVPC with that accident she had back in February. But I also know that Miss Mars wouldn’t have charged her as she did without good reason. The pretty blonde-haired gym teacher then asks that a girl named Daphne be allowed to testify. Daphne, a junior with dark blonde hair is currently serving detention with us for both wetting her pants and urinating on the toilet seat. I, of course, motion for Daphne to come up the podium. Upon questioning from Miss Mars, Daphne tells us that she saw Krista coming out of the faculty bathroom during 3rd period today. “I was in the library in the back stacks looking for a book,” the shy junior reports, “I just happened to turn and then I saw Krista coming out of the bathroom there.” “I’m sorry, Krista, but they know I was there and saw you,” she tells her fellow junior. “If it were up to me, I’d let you use that bathroom – I’d let everyone use that bathroom if they wanted to,” Daphne tells her, “But they’re making me tell the committee what I saw.”

Still in tears – But crying even worse now – Krista takes a few moments to compose herself. Eventually, she does compose herself and she then admits that she did indeed go into the faculty bathroom. But she still adamantly denies that she made the mess in there. “O.K., I did step in there for a moment or two,” she acknowledges, “But I didn’t make that mess – I didn’t even do anything in there.” “O.K., I admit that I was going in there to use the toilet,” the tearful junior beauty continues, “I had to go poops and I was desperate.” “But when I went in there I saw that mess,” she says, “I couldn’t use the toilet because it was already messed up.” “Please sir – You have to believe me! – I didn’t make that mess,” she pleads emphatically, “I didn’t even do anything in there.”

Naturally, we’re all skeptical of the girl’s story. “Well, by your own admission, you did go into a faculty bathroom,” Mrs. Duncan tells her. “But I didn’t do anything in there,” Krista argues, “I just went in there, saw the clogged toilet and then came back out.” “Well, that’s your story,” Mrs. Duncan tells her, sarcasm evident. “It is a toilet violation for a student to even enter a faculty bathroom,” I point out to her, “And, by your own admission, you were intending to use it.” Krista reluctantly nods her head in acknowledgement of that. “What did happen with your bowel movement?” I then ask her. She looks at me puzzled. “Well, you said you needed to go but you didn’t go in the faculty bathroom,” I explain, “And you also claim that you didn’t go in your pants.” “I mean, I doubt the need to have your bowel movement just went away,” I explain further, “I want to know what you eventually did about your bowel movement.” Krista then tells me that she eventually did do it in the 2nd Floor girls’ room. “I hate going that way in the girls’ room,” she tells me, “But I was just so desperate that I knew I couldn’t wait any longer.” “I know it was either go in the girls’ room or go in my pants,” she explains, “So I just went from the library across the hall to the girls’ room and did it there.” “Well, if you’d just done that from the beginning, you wouldn’t be in trouble now,” Mrs. Duncan tells her, obviously in firm grasp of the obvious.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

But to determine just how much trouble poor Krista is in is far less obvious. Clearly, she’s guilty of something (admittedly she entered a faculty bathroom with the intent of having a bowel movement in there), but exactly what that is, is considerably less clear. But just as the TVPC begins to contemplate this very difficult case, the case pretty much resolves itself. Suddenly bursting into the room is Miss Spellman, a very pretty blonde-haired Math teacher and Soccer coach. She is, of course, a familiar face to faithful readers of the TVPC. She asks to speak in this case and I, of course, direct her to the podium.

“This is all really embarrassing, Mr. Chairman,” the pretty, young Math teacher tells me, “But I was the one who clogged the toilet in the librarian’s office.” “Krista is entirely innocent – I’m sorry you had to go through charging her like that,” Miss Spellman continues, “I came here just as soon as I heard you had charged someone else with this.” “Well, Krista isn’t entirely innocent – She did enter a faculty bathroom,” I point out to Miss Spellman, “But at least she didn’t do the worst of it.” Still a little surprised by this revelation, I ask the pretty Math teacher how all this happened.

With that, I see Miss Spellman take a deep breath, brace herself and then prepare to tell me something she really doesn’t want to tell me. “This is so embarrassing,” she tells me again, “I mean, this is really, REALLY embarrassing.” She tells us that earlier today, she went upstairs to use that bathroom in the librarian’s office, but she couldn’t get in right away. Miss Callahan was already in there and Miss Bliss was already in line ahead of me,” Miss Spellman continues, “But the thing is that I had to go really, really bad.” “The thing is, Mr. Chairman, that I had an accident,” the very embarrassed Math teacher and Soccer coach tells me, “I messed in my panties kind of bad.”

Mostly, there is stunned silence in the TVPC committee room at this revelation, but Hope takes the occasion to start laughing hysterically. That reaction draws a stern look from me. Miss Spellman, as the Soccer coach, has been at odds with Hope over Hope’s toilet habits at soccer games. Though, the pretty senior made it through this season without any accidents at soccer games, she’s had major accident issues in the past. “Shame, Shame, Shame – Shame on You!” Hope then derisively tells her coach, apparently mimicking what Miss Spellman has told her in the past, “How can a girl your age mess in her panties like that.” Naturally, I’m not at all pleased with Hope’s comments and her attitude. “Well, so much for you keeping quiet during detention,” I tell the gorgeous soccer star, “So now you’ll write that assignment the full 500 times that I originally assigned.” “I don’t care!” Hope exclaims in great glee. “With all the grief I’ve gotten for going in my panties and now finally it happens to you!” she says, turning to Coach Spellman in the process, “This is so great!!” “Well then, let’s make that 1,000 times now,” I tell Hope, myself a bit gleeful. “If you keep going, I’ll keep going, too,” I warn her.

Getting back to Miss Spellman, the pretty Math teacher explains that upon having the accident, she went into the bathroom to clean herself up. “I didn’t mean to clog the toilet like I did,” she tells us, “It’s just that I didn’t have anything other than toilet paper to wipe myself with and I had to use a lot of it.” “I’m sorry,” she says, fighting back tears from the embarrassment of it all, “I’m really, really sorry.”

Making note of all that, I find Krista “Not Guilty” of “Clogging the Toilet” and of “Using a Faculty Bathroom.” I then, however, have the TVPC draw up a Violation Report on her for “Entering a Faculty Bathroom” and I find her “Guilty” of that. “I’m glad we got all that cleared up,” I tell a very relieved Krista, “And I’m happy to hear that you took care of yourself in the girls’ room today like you’re supposed to do.” “It’s just too bad you didn’t just go in there from the beginning,” I also tell her, “Then, of course, you wouldn’t even be getting punished at all.” “You would have gone on toilet suspension had you been found “Guilty” on these charges,” I point out, “Clogging the toilet in a bathroom you shouldn’t even have been using in the first place is a very serious offense.” Instead, (on the charge of merely entering that bathroom), she’ll have to write, “I will not enter a faculty bathroom again” 250 times and serve 3 days in detention.

With that, I bang my gavel to close this case – Pointing Krista to a seat in the detention section of the committee room and sending Miss Spellman on her way. That doesn’t sit well with Hope. “Is that it?” she asks angrily, “Coach Spellman messes in her panties and then clogs the toilet and nothing happens?” “When I go in my pants, I get yelled at and have to write sentences until it feels like my arm is going to fall off,” Hope rants on angrily, “But Coach Spellman not only does that but totally clogs the toilet in the process and nothing happens to her.” Of course, as faithful readers of the TVPC surely know and as I explain to Hope, the TVPC only has the power to punish the toilet violations of students and not teachers. Once again, that doesn’t sit well with Hope. “How is that fair?” she asks, “It isn’t fair – In fact, it really sucks!”

Those comments, of course, don’t sit well with me. This time I send Hope to the corner in the back of the room. “Let’s see if you can keep your mouth shut from back there,” I suggest to her, “You’ll stand there with your face in the corner for the rest of detention.” But while Hope’s comments greatly angered me, they seem to have resonated with Miss Spellman. “She’s right – It isn’t fair,” the pretty Math teacher and coach says, “It’s not fair that I don’t get punished for the same things that Hope and Krista would get punished for.” Miss Spellman then bravely steps forward and agrees to accept TVPC punishment for what she did. Asking her if she’s sure about that, I have the TVPC clerk present her with the form to be signed agreeing to let the TVPC punish her. She says that she’s sure and she signs the form.

Charging her with “Panty-Soiling” and “Clogging the Toilet – Category #3”, Miss Spellman then pleads “Guilty” to both counts. “Um … This is my first accident offense,” she is quick to point out, “And this is also my first toilet offense of any kind.” The implication, of course, is that she should only get a warning – At least on the “Panty-Soiling” charge. Unfortunately for her, that doesn’t apply in this case. “The thing is, Sabrina, you committed another offense directly related to the panty-soiling,” I tell Miss Spellman, “That negates your entitlement to get off with just a warning on your first accident offense.” Still, a first panty-soiling isn’t a serious offense – Even for a teacher. I sentence her to 2 days detention and having to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 200 times. “Clogging the Toilet”, however, is a bit more serious – Especially since it’s a “Category #3.” A “Category #3” is, of course, a clogging with toilet paper only and that’s more serious than clogging it with a bowel movement and toilet paper. For that, Miss Spellman will have to write “I will not clog the toilet in the girls’ room or faculty bathroom in school again” 500 times and spend a week in detention cleaning bathrooms.

Once again, Hope doesn’t seem to like that as we hear an audible groan from the corner in the back of the room. “Is there a problem back there, young lady?” I ask. It’s a question I instantly regret asking. “Gee, I thought for a minute you were actually going to punish her,” the senior beauty says sarcastically. The implication, of course, is that the punishment is too lenient. “I mean, when you thought that Krista did it, you were going to give her a toilet suspension,” Hope angrily clarifies, “But now that it’s Coach Spellman who did it, she only gets lines and toilet cleaning punishment.” “And you probably won’t even make her clean the toilets,” she adds, “You’ll just make her mop the floors and empty the garbage and stuff.”

“You know, you’re on the verge of getting a toilet suspension yourself if you’re not careful,” I warn Hope sternly, “I’ve really had all that I’m going to take from you.” I then point out that it would have been a toilet suspension for Krista, because we thought she had a clogged a toilet in a bathroom she wasn’t allowed to be using in the first place. “But obviously, Miss Spellman is allowed to use a faculty bathroom,” I point out, “That’s why it’s a less serious violation for her.” I can tell that Hope doesn’t like that explanation, but she wisely holds her tongue.

Getting back to Miss Spellman, I press her for some details about the panty-soiling itself. She admits that she twice passed up the chance to use the student girls’ room across from her classroom – Choosing instead to hold it in and wait for a chance to use the much nicer faculty bathroom in the librarian’s office. Accordingly, I tell Miss Spellman, “For the next 2 weeks, you’ll use ONLY the student girls’ rooms.” For the record, I note that this is 1 week on the “Panty-Soiling” charge (because she didn’t use the student girls’ room when she had the chance) and 1 week on the “Toilet Clogging” charge (because she made a mess in the faculty bathroom).

FINALLY, I can bang my gavel to end this very long case. But just as Miss Spellman takes her own seat in the detention section, Hope just can’t control herself again. “It still isn’t fair!” she blurts out again, “It just isn’t fair!” “I just got 350 lines because I didn’t want to go in a disgusting port-o-potty,” the senior beauty angrily points out, “But Coach Spellman can not only use the regular toilets but the faculty ones and she stills shits in her pants.” “And she gets punished less!” Hope rants on, “It just isn’t fair!” By now, of course, I’ve completely had it with Hope. “For you, it’s going to be 2 weeks of not using ANY school bathrooms,” I tell her and note for the record. She stares at me puzzled. “I warned you about calling out – I warned you that you’d get a toilet suspension if you did it again,” I angrily tell her, “And you went ahead and did it again!” “So now, you’ve got a toilet suspension, Hope,” I reiterate, “For the next 2 weeks, you’re not going to be allowed to use any school bathrooms at all.”

As I say that, I see a TVPC staffer attaching a red wristband to Hope’s wrist. The wristband, of course, identifies a girl on toilet suspension. “You did it to yourself, Hope,” I tell her, shaking my head, “You have nobody but yourself to blame for this.” “I hope its all worth it,” I tell her, “I hope teasing your coach about having an accident was worth it to you, Hope.” “I mean, you turned a potential 100 times assignment into 500 times and then 1,000 times,” I point out, “And now you’ve gotten yourself on toilet suspension for 2 weeks.” “I hope it was all worth it, Hope,” I reiterate, “I hope you’ll be thinking about it while you’re stuck not being allowed to use the toilet in school for the next 2 weeks.”

Finally, Hope has nothing left to say and FINALLY, I can conclude this case.

After a case like that, I’m happy to see that our next case – Our next 3 cases, actually – are simple ones. Kaya, a gawky freshman with braces and Ellen, an outgoing sophomore blonde, and Erica, a pretty and mature senior are all charged with soiling in their panties. All of them have been before the TVPC before. All 3 have pleaded “Guilty” to the offense, although Ellen has made it clear that it wasn’t her fault. Of course, that only makes me wonder whose fault she thinks it is, but we’ll get to that in a few minutes.

Starting with Kaya, the freshman, she admits that it happened in Algebra class 4th period this morning. “I don’t know, sir – I guess I should have asked for a girls’ room pass,” she tells me apologetically, “But I was just trying to hold it in until 5th period.” The cute brunette explains that she has lunch 5th period and that’s when she usually goes to the girls’ room for “#2.” “I like to go upstairs to the 2nd Floor girls’ room and wait for it to clear out so that I can have my privacy,” she tells us, “Then after I do my business I can just head down to lunch.” “I guess I should have gotten a girls’ room pass and gone during Algebra,” she reiterates, “But I really thought I could hold it in and wait.” “Obviously, I was wrong,” Kaya states, “Obviously, I had to go worse than I thought.”

Kaya is a really sweet girl and I’m impressed with her taking responsibility for what she did. “It’s refreshing to hear a girl not make excuses for having an accident,” I tell her, “That shows a lot of maturity for a girl your age.” “But this is not the first time this has happened, Kaya, is it?” I then ask her, “You’ve had this issue with trying to hold it in too long before, haven’t you?” She shamefully nods her head in acknowledgement of that. “This is actually the 4th time you’ve soiled your panties in school this year, isn’t it?” I ask Kaya, “And isn’t it the 2nd time you’ve done it in Algebra class?” Once again, the poor girl acknowledges that’s all true. “And it looks like you didn’t hold anything in this time,” I further point out, “That looks like quite a load you’ve got there in your panties.” With that, the freshman cutie breaks down in tears, acknowledging that this is an accident of considerable severity. “I’m sorry, sir,” she tells me in tears, “I’m just so sorry.”

Moving on to the consideration of Kaya’s punishment, I also note she has a violation for being late to class for bathroom purposes and a violation for using too much toilet paper. “I certainly could give you extra punishment because your accident is so severe,” I tell Kaya, “But I’m going to offset that against you being mature enough to take responsibility for what you did.” “But this is still your 4th offense, young lady,” I continue, “And that not only means a 500 times writing assignment but a full week of detention.” The sentence to be written 500 times is a familiar one to Kaya – Specifically, “I will not soil my panties in school again.” “And I’m afraid now you’re going to have to spend your detention time sitting on the toilet,” I inform her next, “That’s what happens when you became a repeat offender for this.”

Kaya has had writing punishment before but this is her first sentence of toilet sitting punishment. “Um … sir?” she then asks me, “Can I do my toilet sitting in the 2nd Floor girls’ room?” “I’m afraid not, Kaya,” I tell her, shaking my head. “Your Algebra class is right down the hall from the Main Corridor girls’ room,” I point out, “So that’s where you’ll do your toilet sitting detention.” “If you had just gotten a girls’ room pass and used that girls’ room when you should have, none of this would have happened,” I explain to her, “So that’s the girls’ room where you have to do your toilet sitting now.” In closing I give the freshman panty-soiler a stern warning. “Next time your punishment will be a whole lot worse,” I warn her.

Ellen, the outgoing, blonde-haired sophomore, will be next. Not surprisingly, she has more to say about this than the considerably more reserved Kaya. “I went in my pants, so I guess I’m going to have to take my punishment,” she says, “But it’s not like you think – It’s not like I was just refusing to go to the girls’ room when I needed to like Kaya did.” “I had the accident, so I guess I have to plead ‘Guilty’ and say it’s my fault,” the blonde-haired beauty continues, “But it wasn’t REALLY my fault.”

Now moving on to the obvious question, I ask her whose fault it was. Surprisingly, Ellen doesn’t seem like she wants to tell me. “I plead ‘Guilty’ sir,” she tells me, “I accept that I had an accident and that I’m going to get punished for it.” “But you don’t think it was your fault you did it?” I ask her. “Look, sir,” she tells me respectfully, “It’s only my first time offense for having an accident and I just want to get my punishment and get it over with.” “I just want to get home and get myself into clean panties – I just want to do my punishment and put this whole stupid thing behind me,” she explains, “I don’t want to get myself in more trouble for complaining about it.” Hearing that, Miss Defequer, our French teacher, speaks up. “I think what Ellen wants to say is that it’s my fault,” the lovely but strict Miss Defequer tells us, “I’m pretty sure she wants to blame this whole thing on me.” “Well, why not?” Ellen then bursts out, “You’re the one who wouldn’t let me go to the girls’ room when I needed to.” “What do you think happens when a girl has to go and you won’t let her go use the toilet,” Ellen continues, raising her voice a bit, “What happens is that we can’t hold it in forever, and we end up messing in our panties.”

Immediately, I bang my gavel and stop the feisty and outspoken Ellen before she goes any further. “Remember what you said about not wanting to make it any worse?” I ask her, “Well, now is a good time to remember that.” “I’m sorry, sir,” she quickly says, “It’s just that it gets me so mad sometimes.” “It’s not like I’m one of those girls who holds it in because she doesn’t like to go at school,” Ellen explains, “When one of those kinds of girls has an accident, it really is her fault.” “I wanted to go to the girls’ room – I begged Miss Defequer to let me go to the girls’ room – I would have given anything to just go sit on the toilet and do it where I was supposed to do it,” she explains further, “But Miss Defequer wouldn’t let me – She knew how bad I had to go but she just wouldn’t let me.” “It just makes me so mad sometimes,” Ellen reiterates, being careful to end it at that and not say something that would get her in even more trouble. As she said, it’s only her first panty-soiling offense and her punishment isn’t going to be all that bad.

Miss Defequer need not explain why she didn’t let Ellen go to the girls’ room – Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that teachers are under no obligation to excuse girls from class for this purpose – But the pretty French teacher explains it anyway. She explains that she’s let Ellen go the girls’ room plenty of times during French class. “I want to be sympathetic to their bathroom needs – I don’t mind giving out girls’ room passes within reason.” “But there is a limit to that,” she explains, “You just can’t expect to go to the girls’ room everyday.” Ellen begins to argue the point that she does need to go to the bathroom everyday – Several times everyday, in fact – But, not wanting to lose her temper, she quickly stops herself. “Well, I would think that you go everyday,” Miss Defequer answers, “But the point is that you shouldn’t expect to get a pass to go from French class everyday.” “I mean, you’re a sophomore in high school now, Ellen,” she reminds the girl, “Don’t you think you’re old enough to plan your day a little better and take care of your business outside of my class.” Miss Defequer points out that Ellen has her lunch period the period before French class. Lunch period is, of course, one of those times when girls are encouraged to take care of their bathroom business. Upon questioning, Ellen admits that she did have to go then, but not wanting to use the busy girls’ room across from the school cafeteria, decided to wait until later. “Well, whose fault is that?” Miss Defequer then asks the sophomore beauty.

Ellen really has no response to that, but simply argues, “I still think you should have let me to go to the girls’ room when you knew I really needed to.” “Obviously, you can think what you want,” I tell Ellen, “But we both know that TVPC rules don’t provide for that.” Ellen acknowledges that she does understand the rules. “You don’t know how bad I just wanted to get up and go to the girls’ room anyway,” she tells us, “But I know that going to the girls’ room without permission is a serious offense.” “I know I could have gotten a toilet suspension for that,” Ellen continues, “And no way was I going to go through that again.” Her reference, of course, was back to soccer season when Ellen had to endure a week-long toilet suspension. She and Hope, in order to avoid doing bowel movements in a port-o-potty at a soccer game at Sunnydale HS, went into the school and used the faculty ladies’ room there. Unfortunately for Ellen, the combination of her large bowel movement and a significant amount of toilet paper managed to clog the toilet. That offense – Clogging a toilet that she shouldn’t have been using in the first place – Was enough to get her put on toilet suspension for a week. “That was, by far, the worse thing I ever had to do,” Ellen explains, in reference to the toilet suspension, “With soccer practice after school, there’s no way anyone could’ve lasted all day just holding it in,” she explains, “And then, on top of that, I had to get through soccer practice with a mess in my pants.” “No way was I going to get myself put on toilet suspension again,” she reiterates, recalling the horror of that experience.

Actually, it’s highly doubtful I would have give her a toilet suspension for leaving class – It’s usually only for a 2nd offense on that, that a girl gets put on toilet suspension – But obviously she did the right thing not to do that. “I know it’s hard sometimes, Ellen,” I commend her, “But if you get stuck in that situation, it’s best to just wait it out even if it means you end up messing in your pants.

Anyway, it’s Ellen’s first panty-soiling offense but in light of her previous toilet record (“Defecating in a Faculty Bathroom” and “Clogging the Toilet in a Faculty Bathroom”, both while representing the school), I have to be a little more severe with her. I sentence her to 2 days detention and having to write “I will not soil my panties in school again” 250 times.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Moving on to Erica, the pretty and usually quite mature senior, I see that we have another panty-load of considerable severity. She’s wearing tan, corduroy pants that really aren’t that tight but there’s still a considerable bulge in the seat. Furthermore, even though her pants are a sort of a darker tan color, there’s an even darker discoloration around that big bulge in the seat. Apparently, this particular accident is of a good bit of the wet stuff as well as a bowel movement of more solid fecal matter. Needless to say, I’m a bit surprised to see this from Erica. Though she did have a bit of a wetting accident back in January (in Physics class when Dr. Flower refused to let her go to the girls’ room), this is her first accident of the messing variety. She’s also got a violation for “Squatting to Defecate With the Toilet Seat Still Down” on her toilet record – An offense we dealt with at our December 13th TVPC session.

“I really don’t mean to sound harsh, Erica – After all, it’s only your first messing accident,” I tell her, “But I’m really surprised to see this – Especially a mess as bad as that.” “I mean, I know that accidents can happen – Even with girls your age,” I continue, “But BEING ERICA as you are, I certainly wasn’t expecting to see one in your pants like this.” The point being that although Erica doesn’t seem particularly open about her bodily functions – She seems to like her privacy as much as anybody – She just seems to be mature enough to realize that sometimes you just need to go to the girls’ room and do it there whether you like it or not.

“It just happened, sir,” she tells me, matter-of-factly, but definitely with an undertone of shame in her voice, “It just sort of happened.” I really don’t mean to press her and embarrass her further – After all, all totaled, it’s only her 2nd accident of the school year and many girls have done a lot worse – But accidents really don’t “just happen.” “I’m sorry, Erica, but I really am going to need a better explanation than that,” I tell her sympathetically, “I mean, are you really trying to tell me that all of a sudden, without any warning, you just did that big mess in your pants?” “No sir – It didn’t actually happen quite like that,” she admits. “I knew I had to go before that,” Erica acknowledges, “But I was just trying to hold it in and wait.” “I know it sounds stupid – I guess it always sounds stupid,” she tells me, “But I really thought I could hold it in longer than I did.” “I know it sounds stupid, sir,” the thoroughly ashamed senior beauty explains, “But I just didn’t realize how hard it would be to hold it in through gym class.” “I guess it’s kind of obvious now that I should have gone in the locker room before gym class,” Erica says, “Obviously if I could to do it all over again, I would go before gym class while I had the chance.” “This is just so humiliating,” she then adds, now suddenly fighting back tears, “You know it isn’t like me to do something like this.” “Indeed,” I tell her sympathetically, “I am indeed quite surprised to see you standing before the TVPC with a load in your panties like that.” “It’s one thing to say that if you could do it over again, you would use the toilet before gym class,” I question her, “But the question remains why you just didn’t do it the first time.” “I mean, you obviously knew that you needed to have a bowel movement, Erica,” I continue, “I would think you’d respond to that by walking over to the toilets and taking care of that business right there before going out to the gym.”

Of course, Erica acknowledges that she should have gone before gym class, but she can really offer no explanation as to why she didn’t. She mumbles something about there being a line for the girls’ room in the locker room and being that she really didn’t need to go that bad at the time, she decided to wait. “I really didn’t have to go that bad at the time,” Erica tells us, “But, like I said, trying to hold it in during gym class was a lot harder than I thought.” “I knew I was in trouble about halfway through the period,” she continues, “But Miss Collins wouldn’t let me go to the girls’ room right away.” “Eventually, she did let me go but by then it was too late,” she explains, “I managed to get to the locker room but before I could get to the toilets, it all just came out in my pants.” “All I could do was just stand there in the locker room while it all came out in my pants,” the poor girl adds, now breaking down in tears, “It was just awful – It was just so embarrassing and so disgusting what I did.”

Miss Collins, her gym teacher, apologizes for what happened. “If I knew you had to go that bad, I would have let you go when you first asked,” she says, “But I didn’t realize how bad an emergency it was until later.” Miss Collins explains, “Just as soon as I realized how desperate you were, I gave you permission to go.” “I really didn’t want you to have an accident, Erica – Especially not one as bad as this,” the gym teacher tells the poor girl, “I’m really sorry about that.” Erica thanks Miss Collins for that. “At least it happened in the locker room,” Erica tells her, “At least it didn’t happen in the gym in front of everyone – Especially the boys.” But while sympathetic, Miss Collins is also quite clear not to absolve Erica of any blame for this. “It still wouldn’t have happened if you’d just have done it in the toilet before gym class like you were supposed to,” she tells Erica, “I hope you realize how easily you could have avoided this whole thing.” Erica assures her teacher that she does. “But I am sorry I didn’t let you go sooner – I really didn’t want you to have an accident,” she tells Erica, “I was just trying to teach you a lesson about going before gym class like you should have – I was just trying to make you suffer a little bit holding it in during gym class.”

That all explained, I next move on to Erica’s punishment. “I realize that it’s only your 2nd accident offense, and your first was only a small wetting accident,” I tell her, “But given the severity of this particular accident, I’m afraid I’m going to have to impose more than the usual punishment.” Accordingly, Erica is going to have to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 300 times and she’ll have to serve 3 days in detention. “And I’m also going to have to impose mandatory toilet visits before gym class,” I tell Erica and note for the record, “For the next 2 weeks, you’ll have to visit the toilet in the girls’ locker room before gym class.” “Let’s make sure this doesn’t happen again,” I tell Erica. “You don’t have to worry about that,” Erica assures me, “IT WON’T!”

For the last matter before the TVPC this afternoon I’m pleased to welcome back before the TVPC a pretty and outgoing blonde named Buffy. Along with Buffy, I call before the TVPC a petite and pretty senior named Dawn. Buffy, who graduated from our school 2 years ago, is not only Dawn’s older sister but her guardian as well. While I’m pleased to see Buffy again – She looks as sensational as ever and it’s nice to see how well she’s grown into her new responsibilities as Dawn’s guardian – I’m not at all happy at the reason. Suffice to say, Buffy’s presence here today is not a social call.

Faithful readers of the TVPC undoubtedly know of Dawn’s history of panty-soiling violations throughout her high school career. It seems that Dawn, very much unlike her more outgoing older sister, is a bit shy about doing that particular bodily function in the school girls’ rooms. This has apparently been a big issue for them as Buffy is not about to tolerate her younger sister having accidents in her pants as a high school senior. Dawn seems to be doing better as of late – In fact, the TVPC recently had to punish another girl for mockingly applauding as Dawn was indeed doing a bowel movement in the New Addition girls’ room – But it was only about a month ago that Dawn was before the TVPC with a mess in her panties. It was a week after that (the March 27, 2014 TVPC session to be exact), though, that Dawn last appeared before the TVPC. As faithful readers of the TVPC should recall, Dawn had to appear at that session to hand in her writing punishment (specially, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 1,000 times) for that panty-soiling and also the Violation Report signed by her sister and guardian, Buffy. Unfortunately for Dawn, it’s that Violation Report that brings her back before the TVPC this afternoon.

As I hand that Violation Report back to Dawn, I ask her quite simply, “Is that Buffy’s signature on the Violation Report?” As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, the girl’s Violation Report must be signed by a girl’s parent or guardian and returned to the TVPC. Of course, we already know that Buffy didn’t actually sign Dawn’s Violation Report. Dawn, I suspect, knows that we know. Rather than answer the question put to her (and perhaps get herself into even more trouble for lying to the TVPC), poor Dawn just stands there crying. “The thing is, Dawn, it doesn’t look much like your sister’s handwriting,” states Mrs. Crabtree, a member of the TVPC, and the one who noticed this, “The thing is, it looks very much like your own handwriting, Dawn.” The beautiful but shy senior obviously has her issues with using school bathrooms, but she’s certainly not stupid. Obviously, she already knows how much trouble she’s in. “I guess you already know what I did,” she mumbles through her tears.

While it certainly makes me angry, it makes Buffy absolutely livid. “Forging my signature, Dawn? – Is this what it’s come to now?” Buffy yells at her sister, “It isn’t bad enough that you keep messing in your panties? – Now you have to forge my signature on the punishment notices?” Dawn doesn’t really have an answer – I mean, what excuse could she possibly have for doing this – But merely stands there crying. “Forging my signature!…Forging my signature!...Forging my signature!” Buffy continues at Dawn, simply repeating what she’s done. “Forging my signature, Dawn? – What were you thinking?” Buffy goes on. “I know you have issues with the school bathrooms, Dawn – Unfortunately, I’ve come to expect you having accidents sometimes,” she tells Dawn disappointingly, “But I could never have imagined something like this – I just can’t believe you’d forge my name like this.”

I think poor Dawn just wants to cry but Buffy can’t seem to just accept that. “Answer me, Dawn!” she screams at her sister, “What the hell were you thinking forging my name like this.” Of course, Dawn mumbles through her tears about her accident problems and how she didn’t want Buffy to know she soiled her pants once again. “You just get so mad when I go in my pants – Especially when it’s at school,” Dawn tells her sister/guardian, “I just didn’t want you to know that I did it again.” “Of course, I get mad when you go in your pants – It’s totally disgusting when you go in your pants,” she tells Dawn, “You’re a senior in high school now – There’s no excuse for you to keep going in your pants like you do.” “When are you going to learn, Dawn? – When are you going to learn to just go in the toilet when you need to?” Buffy asks her, “Don’t you think you’re a little too old not to be toilet trained?” With those harsh words from Buffy, Dawn is left just sobbing into her hands.

Though her toilet record is quite bad and this is indeed a serious offense, it’s hard not to feel sorry for Dawn. “I really do think she’s been trying,” I tell Buffy, “I do think she’s actually been doing bowel movements in the girls’ room as of late.” “It’s actually been over a month since Dawn last had an accident in school,” I explain to the still quite angry Buffy, “In fact, we had a case last week where a girl was teasing Dawn for actually doing it in the toilet.” “I went at school 3 times last week,” Dawn tells Buffy, “You just don’t know how hard I’m trying not to mess in my panties anymore.” “And you also come home 2 days last week in a panic running for the toilet,” Buffy says, “Obviously she should have gone in the girls’ room on those days, too.” Dawn just bows her head in both shame and frustration. “I’m trying, Buffy – I’m really trying,” Dawn tells her. “Just go to the girls’ room when you need to,” Buffy then tells Dawn, “You just go sit on the toilet and you do what you need to do in there.” “You just don’t understand,” Dawn tells her through her tears. “That’s always been so easy for you,” she tells her sister, “It’s just so easy for you to just go and do it with everyone else around.” “But I’m not like you, Buffy, I’m just not,” the tearful senior beauty continues. “I just can’t do that in public when other girls are around,” she explains to her sister, “I just like to be home in the privacy of my own bathroom when I have to do that.” With that, poor Dawn once again breaks down sobbing into her hands.

This time, not even Buffy can help feeling sorry for her. “Sometimes you just have no choice but to go in public,” Buffy tells her, but considerably calmer than before, “Sometimes you just can’t wait to get home to do it.” “You really do need to stop having these panty-messing accidents – Especially at school,” Buffy tells her sympathetically, “You really are getting too old for this to keep happening.” “And you’d better not be signing my name to anything else ever again,” Buffy then tells her in a sterner tone, “There’s even less of an excuse for doing that.”

And that is, after all, what has brought us before the TVPC today. Dawn’s new Violation Report is for “Forgery on a TVPC Notice” – An offense for which Dawn pleads “Guilty.” “This is actually a more serious offense than accidentally soiling in your panties,” I point out to Dawn, “But luckily for you it’s only your first offense for this while you’ve got 5 priors for soiling this school year.” I then sentence Dawn to write, “I will not forge my guardian’s name on a Toilet Violations Punishment Committee notice again” 500 times. Dawn looks at me dejectedly. I suspect that she was expecting 500 times but not of a sentence that long. “Yes, you have to write it out like that,” I then tell her, “And with your toilet record you should consider yourself lucky I’m not making you write it out 1,000 times.” As to the rest of her punishment, I decide to give Dawn a choice. “You can serve 2 weeks of regular detention,” I offer, “Or you can serve 1 week of detention where you will be sitting on the toilet.” Before Dawn can even consider those options, Buffy makes the choice for her. “She’ll do the toilet sitting detention,” Buffy answers for her, “That’s precisely what she needs – More time sitting on the toilet in school.” “Maybe that’ll teach you there’s nothing wrong with toilets in school,” she then turns and tells Dawn. I also give Dawn the choice of which girls’ room to do her toilet sitting detention in. “I guess I’ll do it in the 2nd Floor girls’ room,” Dawn says, “That one’s not so bad, I guess.”

Just as I’m about to close this session of the TVPC, I see Mrs. Buchman entering the committee room, frantically trying to get my attention. “Do you have time for one more case?” she asks. Of course, I put down my gavel and motion for her to come forward to the podium. I note that with Mrs. Buchman are 3 freshman girls – Lindy, a tall and pretty blonde, Jasmine, a bright and outgoing brunette, and Delia, another pretty brunette.

Of course, I then ask Mrs. Buchman what the case is about. “Loitering in the Girls’ Room,” the pretty blonde-haired English teacher answers, “I just caught these 3 in the Main Corridor girls’ room.” “Well, I DIDN”T DO IT,” Lindy quickly answers, “You certainly can’t say that I was loitering in there.” “Yes, that’s right,” Mrs. Buchman then clarifies. “I want to charge Delia and Jasmine with ‘Loitering in the Girls’ Room,’” she explains, “But not Lindy.” “Lindy actually did have legitimate business in there,” Mrs. Buchman tells us. “She means Lindy was going poop,” Jasmine then chimes in, giggling as she says it. Delia, likewise, giggles a bit at the notion of that.

“Really, girls?” I admonish them, “You’re in high school and you’re still giggling at the notion of someone having a bowel movement?” “We all do it,” Mrs. Buchman adds, “Or don’t you think that we know that you do the very same thing that Lindy was doing.” A bit red-faced with embarrassment, the girls seem sufficiently admonished while Lindy beams a smile. “They don’t like to do that in school,” Lindy then chimes in, “They usually hold that in until they get home.” “Of course, I prefer to go at home, too,” Lindy continues, more addressing her friends than the committee, “But sometimes you really do need to go at school or wherever you are.” “It’s just ridiculous to be holding it in and making yourself uncomfortable all day,” the pretty blonde explains further, directly addressing Jasmine and Delia, “There’s no reason not to use the girls’ room for that if you really need to.” “It’s also how accidents happen,” I point out, “It’s when girls try to hold it in longer than they should that they end up messing in their panties.” “I’d say the 2 of you are pretty lucky not to have had any accidents if you’re holding it in all day instead of using the girls’ room,” I add, “Unless you girls learn to start having bowel movements at school like Lindy does, it’s only a matter of time before one of you has an accident.” “Um – I did go at school once,” Delia sheepishly answers, “I mean, it was kind of urgent at the time and I’d definitely do that before I would mess in my panties.” “Well, I guess I went #2 at school once, too,” Jasmine also answers, “But I guess that one doesn’t really count.” In Jasmine’s case, she pretended to be sick in order to go see the nurse. Once in the nurse’s office, she then took the opportunity to do her bowel movement in the nurse’s office bathroom. That was, of course, a violation of TVPC rules as only girls with legitimate business in the nurse’s office are allowed to use that bathroom.

Getting back to the issue at hand, Mrs. Buchman then explains that she was making a routine patrol of the girls’ rooms checking on girls who were assigned to punishments there. She tells that she had 2 girls assigned to toilet sitting detention in the Main Corridor girls’ room this afternoon – Specifically, Courtney being punished for a panty-soiling accident and Tess being punished for squatting over the toilet and having a bowel movement with the toilet seat down. Courtney and Tess were sitting on the toilet just as they were supposed to be,” Mrs. Buchman explains, “But I also found Jasmine and Delia hanging around in there for no particular reason.” “Lindy was in one of the stalls having a bowel movement,” she explains further, “But Jasmine and Delia were just standing there outside the stall doing nothing in particular.

“We just went in there with Lindy,” Jasmine then explains – A point that Delia nods her head in agreement with. “Lindy had to go so we just went in there with her,” Delia adds, “We weren’t doing any harm – We were just waiting for her to finish.” Jasmine, not missing a beat, nods her head in agreement with Delia. But I have something to say to that. “It isn’t so much that you girls were doing any harm,” I point out, “Mrs. Buchman acknowledges that you weren’t doing anything worse than just standing there.” “But the point is that you weren’t actually doing ANYTHING in there,” I explain, “You weren’t urinating or defecating or doing anything else that you needed to be in the girls’ room for.” “You had no legitimate girls’ room business to take care of in there,” I explain further, “And hanging around in the girls’ room without a legitimate reason for being in there is what we call ‘Loitering’ and that’s a toilet violation.”

“But we just went in there with our friend Lindy,” Jasmine reiterates, “You know what it’s like for us girls – You know we always go to the bathroom together.” “And you know how it is with the 3 of us,” Delia adds, “We always do everything together.” “Yes, that much is true,” Mrs. Buchman acknowledges, “I’m surprised that Logan and Garrett weren’t in there with you, too.” Logan and Garrett are 2 boys that are always hanging out with the 3 of them. “Ewwww!” Jasmine says at the thought of the 2 boys joining them in the girls’ room, “How about some privacy in there?” “Yeah – How about some privacy in there?” Lindy chimes in at her friend’s concern about that, “How about some privacy for me?” “Look, you 2 girls are really good friends,” the pretty blonde freshman tells Jasmine and Delia, “But we really don’t need to be doing EVERYTHING together.” “I mean, there really are some things that we should be able to manage on our own,” Lindy continues, “And I think going to the bathroom is one of them.” “I mean, if we all have to pee or something, I guess it’s no harm that we all go together,” she points out, “But when it comes to going to the bathroom the other way, I really think a girl should do that on her own.” “You girls are really good friends and all,” Lindy reiterates, “But I really can handle having a bowel movement on my own.”

I nod my head in agreement with that – Lindy having apparently set the appropriate boundaries when it comes to these 3 friends and their bodily functions. I explain further that the girls’ rooms here at school are only for girls to perform their necessary bodily functions in there. “If you don’t really need the girls’ room, you have no business being in there at all,” I tell them, “If you’re in the girls’ room without legitimate reason for being in there, you can expect to be charged with ‘Loitering’ by the TVPC.”

Still, “Loitering in the Girls’ Room” is not a serious offense – Especially since it’s the first time for each of them. For Delia, in fact, it’s actually only the first violation of her high school career. The freshman beauty will have to serve a day of detention and write, “I will not loiter in the girls’ room at school again” 100 times. For Jasmine, it’s the 2nd toilet violation of her high school career – The aforementioned incident with the nurse’s office bathroom being her first. She is given the choice of writing that sentence 200 times and serving 1 day of detention or serving 2 days of detention and writing only 100 times. “I guess I’ll take the extra detention,” she says, “I really hate doing punishment lines.” “At least I can do my homework when sitting in detention,” she says.

So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:11 PM.

[spandexman]

There is still Hope!

There is still hope Arnold. Girls will be girls and some teachers are full blown panty poopers. Great report. Keep up the good work and say 'hi' to Grace for me, the next time she appears in front of you in tight spandex. Thank you.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Thanks, as always, for you kind comments. I'll keep an eye on Grace for you. She's been careful lately about getting to the toilet in time. I just hope she doesn't slack off on that.