Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of Tuesday, March 13, 2018.

We begin this afternoon’s section of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) with 2 cases from last night’s “Family Night Frolics” program. The “Family Night Frolics” is an annual entertainment event at our school in which parents perform together with their children. Acts involve anything from singing and dancing to stand-up comedy to magic to poetry and dramatic reading. Since the girls performing at the event are doing so as part of school program, their toileting behavior is, of course, subject to TVPC jurisdiction. In fact, since this is an event attended by the public, the girls are considered to be representing the school as part of the program. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, accidents and other toilet violations by girls representing the school are considered more serious than those same violations during the regular school day.

The first case from last night’s “Family Night Frolics” involves a pretty and popular junior blonde named Marcia. Marcia and her mom Carol -- who has hair of gold like her daughters -- performed a vaudeville-style song and dance number last night. Looking over the paperwork on this case, I must say that I’m confused. I have one Violation Report -- filed by Mrs. Johns -- that charges Marcia with clogging the toilet. Specifically, she’s charged with a Category #2 clog -- that is, the combination of her bowel movement and her toilet paper clogged the toilet. But I also have another charge -- this one filed by Miss Bliss -- that charges Marcia only with using a clogged toilet. This charge is that Marcia simply used a toilet that was clogged -- specifically that she used it for a bowel movement -- but didn’t actually clog it herself. Both offenses are alleged to have occurred in the 2nd stall from the entrance in the girls’ room in the hallway between the gym and the auditorium -- obviously, the girls’ room that got heavy usage at the program last night.

As I’ve noted, I’m quite confused by the 2 charges in this case. Obviously, merely using a clogged toilet isn’t as serious as actually clogging one, but I don’t understand why Marcia has been charged with that in addition to clogging the toilet. And a second charge like this seems really out-of-character for the usually kind-hearted Miss Bliss. “Using a clogged toilet means that the toilet was already clogged when Marcia sat down and used it,” I explain to Miss Bliss, “That’s a violation, of course, because girls are only allowed to use toilets that are functioning properly.” “But if it was Marcia’s bowel movement that actually clogged the toilet then that’s what we should be charging her with,” I explain further, “We shouldn’t also be charging her with using the clogged toilet because the toilet was working properly until Marcia clogged it.” “Don’t you think it would really be piling it on poor Marcia to be charging her with both offenses,” I suggest to the pretty and dedicated History Teacher, “Don’t you think that just punishing her for clogging the toilet would be enough?”

“But that’s just it, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Bliss then tells me, “I’m certainly not trying to pile it on Marcia -- I just don’t think she was the one who actually clogged the toilet.” “I didn’t clog it, sir,” Marcia then chimes in, “There’s just no way that my…um, stuff could clog one of those toilets.” “I mean, I have clogged the toilet at home a few times, but you know that toilet gets a lot of action with 5 brothers and sisters besides me,” the pretty and popular junior goes on, “I mean, a few times I did get a little constipated and that poor toilet just couldn’t handle what became of that.” “But I could never do anything that the toilets here at school couldn’t handle,” Marcia tells us, “I mean, I’ve just never done anything capable of clogging those power flush toilets here.” “I admit that I did do a really big bowel movement last night, sir,” she explains, “I had been constipated for a while until last night and I really did end up going a lot.” “But it really wasn’t mine that actually clogged the toilet -- the toilet must have already been clogged before I even got there,” she explains further, “When I flushed, the water just immediately came right up to the rim of the bowl.”

Miss Bliss nods her head in agreement with that. “There was already a clog somewhere down in the toilet when Marcia went to use it,” Miss Bliss then explains, “Marcia’s fecal matter was big but hers was floating in the bowl -- it wasn’t the source of the clog.” “I can certainly understand why Mrs. Johns filed the charge that she did,” Miss Bliss acknowledges, “At the time, I’m sure it really did seem like Marcia was the one who clogged it.” “I’m sure the toilet seemed to be working fine before Marcia went in and used it,” the pretty History teacher explains, “And then when Marcia was done -- and it was indeed a very big bowel movement that she did -- the water was right up to the rim of the bowl.” “But if you look closer at the toilet, you could see that it wasn’t Marcia’s feces that was actually clogging it,” Miss Bliss explains further, “It was somebody else’s that was clogging it from somewhere down the line.”

Hearing that explanation, Mrs. Johns drops the more serious charge against Marcia -- that of clogging the toilet herself. “Miss Bliss is probably right,” the ace restroom monitor acknowledges, “There certainly could have been clog somewhere down in the pipes that we just couldn’t see.” “And I guess it’s hard to believe that Marcia could do one that was big enough to clog the toilet anyway,” she adds. As I understand it, a custodian was able to dislodge it all with a heavy-duty plunger later that evening. That leaves Marcia to plead “Guilty” to the lesser charge of Using -- specifically to defecate -- a clogged toilet. She tells us though that it was purely accidental. “I just didn’t know the toilet was clogged when I used it,” Marcia explains, “I had to go so I went in there and just took the first open stall that I saw.” “As I said, I did kind of go a lot but I never thought it would be a problem flushing it,” the pretty blonde-haired honor student explains further, “I never know there was a problem until it didn’t actually flush and the water come right up to the top of the bowl.” Miss Bliss concurs. “I have no doubt it was accidental,” she says, “I’m sure Marcia would have used a different stall if she knew the toilet was clogged.”

Just because Marcia didn’t know the toilet was clogged doesn’t absolve her of guilt. Girls are still responsible for only using toilets that are in proper working order and obviously, a toilet that is clogged doesn’t qualify. But using a toilet that you know is clogged would obviously be a more serious violation than merely using one accidentally. Still, a bowel movement in a clogged toilet is obviously more serious than merely urinating in one. And this was, of course, a violation while representing the school. Marcia is sentenced to 2 hours of detention and writing, “I will not defecate in a clogged toilet in school again” 200 times.

Our second case from last night concerns a cute and talkative freshman named Clarissa. She’s a bright and delightful young lady but she has had her issues with using the girls’ room in school -- especially where her bowel movements are concerned. She’s had 4 panty-soiling accidents so far this year and while freshmen certainly do have the most accidents, that’s still more than most. And she has other violations, too. She and her mom also performed a song and dance number last night. As I understand it, though, the show almost didn’t go on for Clarissa and her mom as they were nowhere to be found when their performance time arrived. Had it not been for some quick thinking on the part of Mrs. Duncan to shuffle the schedule, they might not have gotten the chance to perform at all. And such brings us to the reason that the toilet-troubled Clarissa is before the TVPC today.

“You took Clarissa home just to use the bathroom last night?” I ask Mrs. Darling -- Clarissa’s mom. “That’s why you missed your original time on stage, Mrs. Darling,” I ask her, “Because Clarissa was home using the toilet?” “Yes, Mr. Ziffel,” Mrs. Darling tells me. “We were waiting for our turn and I could see that Clarissa had to go,” she tells me, “I think mothers can always tell when their daughters have to go to the bathroom -- especially when it’s a #2.” “Of course, I told her to go use the girls’ room, but she wouldn’t use that girls’ room in the hallway down there,” she explains, “She’s usually okay with public bathrooms but not when they’re crowded like the one last night.” “I mean, she’ll go pee when she has to,” Mrs. Darling explains further, “But when it comes to going poop, it’s just that she needs a little more privacy.” “It’s best if she can be alone in the bathroom when she has to do that,” she adds. The usually outgoing freshman cutie looks a bit embarrassed at the open discussion of her bathroom habits. Clarissa doesn’t seem the shy type at all but it’s apparently so when it comes to using the toilet. That’s not so unusual but I’m still left shaking my head as to what happened last night.

“So you took Clarissa home just to use the bathroom?” I ask her again, clearly expressing my disappointment as well as my surprise. Obviously, Mrs. Darling picks up on my tone. “Yes sir -- I hear what you’re saying,” she tells me, “But I’d just rather not have had to deal with messy panties last night.” “Yeah, I know it’s ridiculous going all the way home just for Clarissa to use the toilet,” the pretty, blonde-haired Mrs. Darling explains, “But it’s not like I can actually force her to use the toilet here.” “Better that goes in the toilet at home than trying to hold it in and ending up messing her pants here at school,” she explains further, “I just don’t like having to deal with those messing accidents of hers.” “As stupid as it seems, I figured it was better taking a ride home that dealing with another accident.”

Mrs. Darling’s explanation takes me a little bit by surprise. “I’d like to suggest that perhaps you simply not DEAL with your daughter’s messing accidents,” I tell her, “Perhaps Clarissa should be dealing with those accidents herself.” “I would think that at the very least cleaning it would be her responsibility,” I point out. Mrs. Darling nods her head -- seemingly in agreement with me. She does agree with me about that. “Yeah I guess you’re right, Mr. Ziffel -- at her age, it really should be Clarissa cleaning up her own accidents,” the pretty blonde tells me, “But I guess that’s just not easy for me to do.” Mrs. Darling goes on to tell me that she had her own issues going #2 at school when she was growing up. “I guess it’s hard for me because I used to go in my pants at school just like Clarissa does,” she tells us, “I can really sympathize with how she feels about the school bathrooms.” I actually think I was worse than Clarissa,” Mrs. Darling continues, “at least she goes in your school bathrooms sometimes.” “I used to never go #2 at school,“ she recounts, “I would just always try to hold it in and that resulted in a lot of accidents for me.“ She goes on to explain that she was always treated rather harshly by her own mother for those accidents and she always vowed she would never be like to her own daughter. “I never really resolved my problem until I went away to college,” Mrs. Darling explains further, “Let me tell you that last thing you want to be doing is messing your panties in a college dorm.” “I just don’t want to put Clarissa through what I went through,” Mrs. Darling adds, “I guess that’s why I’m not making her cleaning up the messes she does.”

Clarissa, though, seems to take exception to what her mother just said. “I do clean myself -- When I have an accident, mom does make me clean it up,” Clarissa is quick to point out, “Of course, she makes me clean myself.” But her mom jumps back in and tells us that’s not completely true. “Well, she does clean HERSELF,” Mrs. Darling acknowledges, “I make her take a washcloth and she does take care of that.” “But you know I don’t make you clean out your underwear,” she then says, addressing the comment to her daughter, “You know more often than not, I’m the one who ends up doing that.” “So don’t try to make it sound like I make you clean everything up,” she admonishes Clarissa. “You know when I was your age and had accidents, your grandmother always made me clean out my underwear, too,” she tells her daughter, “And then I’d always get punished for it as well.” Mrs. Darling tells us that either she cleans her daughter’s soiled underwear or they simply throw them out. “If the damage is too bad, I just throw the underwear away,” she tells us, “Especially, if Clarissa had already done a mess in the same underwear, sometimes the panties are just not worth saving.” “Like I said before, Mr. Ziffel, it may seem ridiculous to have to drive her home to use the toilet,” she adds, “But I’d rather do that and let her go in the toilet than to deal with yet another mess in her panties.”

And that, of course, brings us back to the subject of these proceedings. “Girls are not allowed to leave school grounds to go somewhere else to go to the bathroom,” I tell both of them and note for the record, “We obviously have toilets here and when girls are here at school or here as part of a school program, they’re expected to use those toilets if they need to.” “I believe this is a first case ever of a parent actually taking their daughter off school grounds to use the toilet,” I point out and also note for the record, “But the rules are quite clear that it’s still a toilet violation.” Of course, the toilet violation applies to Clarissa because she was the one under TVPC jurisdiction at the program last night. Fortunately, Mrs. Darling backs up the TVPC on this matter. “Well, I did my own business in the girls’ room when we first got there last night,” she tells us, “We only went back home for Clarissa to use the toilet not me.” That’s all well and good as an example to her daughter, but Mrs. Darling isn’t subject to TVPC jurisdiction, anyway. “I went and pooped in the girls’ room down there and I survived,” she then turns and sarcastically tells her daughter.

Taking everything into consideration, I first sentence Clarissa to write, “I will not leave school grounds to go somewhere else to use the bathroom again” 500 times. I also sentence her to 2 weeks detention sitting on the toilet. Mrs. Darling, while not actually objecting, seems a bit surprised at the severity of her daughter’s punishment. “That’s more than the punishment for soiling her panties, isn’t it?” she asks. “Well, it’s more than the punishment she’s gotten for soiling her panties SO FAR,” I point out, “But it wouldn’t have been worse than what she’d have gotten for soiling her panties while representing the school last night.” “And it’s not more than what she’ll get if she continues to soil her panties in school,” I also point out -- although this time the comment is addressed more to Clarissa herself. Clarissa then requests that her toilet sitting punishment be done in the 2nd Floor Girls’ Room. Apparently, she doesn’t mind that particular bathroom as much as the others here at school. “Your toilet sitting punishment will be done in the girls’ room downstairs by the auditorium and the gym,” I tell her and note for the record, “That’s the girls’ room you should have used last night rather than making your mother drive you home to do it. Clarissa lets out an audible groan at hearing that. Her mother, no doubt leaves the TVPC meeting with something to think about.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

The TVPC also received a report of another clogged toilet last night. This one was the 3rd stall from the wall at the far end of that same girls’ room downstairs. “This one was Mrs. Dunphy’s doing,” reports Mrs. Johns, “For some reason there were rumors going around that it was Mrs. Duncan, but it was definitely Mrs. Dunphy.” Mrs. Dunphy is the parent of 2 daughters at our high school -- Haley, a beautiful, fashion-obsessed senior and Alex, a sophomore quite pretty in her own right but more concerned with academics than anything else. Mrs. Dunphy -- who used to be a lawyer back in Boston before becoming a mom and homemaker -- did a dramatic reading with her daughter Alex last night. Mrs. Dunphy, of course, is not subject to TVPC jurisdiction.

“Alex and Mrs. Dunphy were both doing their business in adjoining stalls before the show last night,” Mrs. Johns reports, “Haley was there as well but she was just waiting for them -- apparently she didn’t have to go.” “And it was Mrs. Dunphy who clogged the toilet?” asks Mrs. Duncan, a tone of surprise evident in her voice.” The implication being that clogging the toilet is more something Alex would do rather than Mrs. Dunphy. Alex, apparently here as a witness in another case, seems to take exception to that. “Look, I’ve clogged the toilet here once this year,” she says, “And I only clogged it once all of last year, too.” “Well, I’ve heard you’ve clogged it at home more than a few times, too,” Mrs. Duncan then tells her, “Haley’s told me a lot of stories about that.” “I wouldn’t feel too bad about that, Alex,” the pretty and outgoing Mrs. Duncan adds, “I’ve clogged more than a few toilets myself.” “Haley shouldn’t be one to talk,” Alex argues right back, “I’m willing to be that she’s clogged our toilet more times than I have.” The two sisters apparently share a bathroom at home. “But at least when I clog it, it’s from actually going in the toilet like we’re supposed to,” the articulate sophomore beauty explains, “At least I don’t clog by trying to flush down soiled underwear like Haley does.” “Well, that’s private business between you and your sister,” I tell Alex, “And perhaps also the person who fixes your toilet.” The comment draws a few chuckles from the assembled crowd.

But then I direct the conversation back to the business at hand -- specifically the report from Mrs. Johns on the clogged toilet. “This really wasn’t a matter of Mrs. Dunphy’s bowel movement clogging the toilet,” Mrs. Johns clarifies, “I mean she did do a bowel movement in the girls’ room last night but it was nowhere near enough to clog the toilet.” “It was more a matter of toilet paper clogging the toilet,” Mrs. Johns explains, “I mean, lots and lots and lots and lots of toilet paper is what clogged that toilet.” I, as well as the rest of the TVPC, look at her puzzled. Our ace restroom monitor then explains that Mrs. Dunphy used a whole lot of toilet paper to line the seat with. “This wasn’t just a strip or two on each side of the seat,” Mrs. Johns explains. “I mean, Mrs. Dunphy must have put down a mountain of it on both sides of the toilet seat before she sat down,” she explains further, “Apparently, there was no way that pretty behind of hers was getting anywhere near one of our toilet seats.” That comment also draws a few chuckles in the committee room.

“So this is ‘Wasting Toilet Paper’ as well as ‘Clogging the Toilet’?” I ask. “I mean it would be if she were a student under our jurisdiction?” I quickly clarify. “Yes, Mr. Chairman -- she’d get charged with both if she was one of our girls,” Mrs. Johns tells me. “But all things considered, Mr. Chairman, I’d have to consider this a step in the right direction for her,” she also tells me. I look at her puzzled. “Wasn’t that her at a school dance or something last year?” she reminds me, “Wasn’t she the one who messed in her panties and then left her panties hidden behind one of our toilets?” “Indeed it was -- I think it was as the Christmas Show last year,” I note, “As I recall that was quite a mess she did in those fancy Victoria Secret panties of hers.” “At least this time she went in the toilet,” Mrs. Johns quips, “Maybe next time we can teach her to use the toilet the proper way.”

Before moving on to cases from today, I take a moment to address the issue of who clogged the toilet that Marcia ended up using. Unfortunately, we have no suspects in the matter. There was a rumor going around that Coach Musso was the one who did it -- unclogging the toilet later revealed it was a combination of a big bowel movement and toilet paper that clogged it -- but that rumor has proven false. “Grace defiantly did NOT do it,” Mrs. Duncan reports, “She and I were using adjoining stalls in the girls’ room when we were setting up for the program earlier.” “We were using adjoining stalls on the other side of the bathroom from where the clog was and we were both doing bowel movements at the time,” Mrs. Duncan reports further, “We both took care of our business then and I seriously doubt either of us would have to go again just a little while later.” “There were even rumors that it was me who did it,” she says with a laugh, “But I assure you that while my bowel movement last night was pretty big, it went down with any problems.” The TVPC, of course, we continue to investigate that clogged toilet.

Moving on to TVPC cases from today, I call to the podium a shy and pale looking junior named Bella. She faces 2 charges this afternoon – specifically, messing in her panties and also urinating on the toilet seat. The punishment for the latter offense varies considerably dependant upon whether she did it intentionally or not. I ask Miss Callahan, a pretty Art Teacher, who was monitoring the 2nd Floor girls’ room at the time, about this important distinction.

“I have no doubt that it was just an accident, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Callahan tells us, “Bella was trying to squat over the toilet instead of just sitting down and well, she just didn’t do it very well.” “She was trying to adjust her position as she went but the stream just kept hitting the front of the toilet seat,” she explains further, “I’d say most of it was running off into the toilet, but a lot of it was rolling down the front of the toilet, too.” “She’s lucky she didn’t get her panties wet, too,” the teacher adds, “Although with that mess already in her panties, I don’t suppose it would have mattered much.”

Although I’m certainly happy to hear that she was only accidentally urinating on the toilet seat, I’m still bothered by one other thing. “What was the toilet seat doing down in the first place?” I ask her. She looks at me puzzled. Obviously, she doesn’t understand school toilet rules very well. “I understand that this was all accidental, Bella,” I tell her, “But if you hadn’t been squatting with the toilet seat down, it wouldn’t have gotten urinated on in the first place.” “As long as you can manage to get the urine into the toilet, you are certainly free to relieve yourself by squatting,” I explain, “But TVPC rules require that if you do so, you must lift up the toilet seat first.” “I just don’t know why girls insist on squatting over the toilet with the seat still down,” chimes in Mrs. Crabtree, a member of the TVPC, “Toilet seats wouldn’t get wet if girls would just lift them up first.” I would also note that the same rules apply to girls having bowel movements in the school bathrooms. They can do that by squatting as well, but likewise they have to lift up the toilet seat first. Of course, it’s even more important with that to get it all in the toilet. “Still, young lady, after this performance, I don’t think you ought to be squatting over the toilet anytime soon,” I tell the skinny junior beauty.

Turning our attention to the facts of the case, Bella apologizes profusely for what she did and assures us that it was only an accident. She says that she messed in her panties earlier in the day when she was trying to hold it in to go at a more convenient time. By that, I suppose, she means her lunch period. “I was already in trouble for going #2 in my panties, but later on, I really had to go #1, as well,” she explains, “I knew that if I didn’t go to the girls’ room, it was going to be a doubleheader in my pants.” A “doubleheader,” of course, is when a girl goes both ways in her pants. “I was afraid to go sit on the toilet with this mess in my panties,” she tells us, “But I didn’t want to make my mess worse by peeing my pants, too.” “So I just tried to squat so I wouldn’t get my mess all over the toilet seat,” she tells us, “But I guess I ended up wetting all over the toilet seat instead.” “I’m sorry,” she adds as the tears start to flow, “I’m really, really sorry.”

Actually, we could also charge her with “Squatting to Use the Toilet with the Toilet Seat Still Down” in addition to “Urinating on the Toilet Seat,” but that would really be piling it on the poor girl. She was simply trying to make the best of a bad situation –trying to avoid wetting her pants while also trying to avoid getting her mess on the toilet seat. She’s been charged with the more serious offense – that of actually urinating on the toilet seat, so I think that’s sufficient. And, of course, she also has to be punished for messing in her panties in the first place.

Taking first things first, she first gets the punishment for soiling her panties. It’s her third offense on that charge and not surprisingly, her last one was indeed a doubleheader. She gets 3 days detention and must write “I will not soil my panties in school” 300 times. “I must say, young lady, that you need to be more attentive to your needs when it comes to having bowel movements in school,” I tell her, “Obviously, this whole thing began with your doing that in your panties instead of in the girls’ room.” For urinating on the toilet seat, she must write “I must learn to urinate in the toilet and not on the toilet seat” 300 times. She’ll also serve 3 days detention cleaning bathrooms and a week of her 7th period study hall sitting on the toilet. “You’ll sit all the way done on the toilet,” I tell her, “They’ll be no squatting allowed.” “In the future, if you do squat over the toilet seat, no matter which function you’re doing, please be sure to lift up the toilet seat first,” I remind her, “Next time, you’ll face a charge of leaving it down if that’s what you do.” “Yes sir, but I’m just going to sit down – that’s what I always do when use the toilet,” she tells us, “It’s just that this time I didn’t want to sit because I had that mess in my panties.” “I understand, but I think you should try to avoid doing that again as well,” I tell her. “Yes sir,” she tells me, “I’m sorry about both things, sir.”

Next up, we have a pretty, blonde-haired sophomore named Stephanie. She is charged with wetting her pants -- specifically, that she did so in Biology class 5th period earlier this afternoon. Her jeans have dried considerably since then but they still appear to be quite damp and you can clearly see the extent of the wetting from the outline emanating from her crotch and going down both legs. That and the description from her teacher Miss Robinson clearly indicates that this was not a case of a girl just squirting some in her panties but was a virtual flood. Stephanie stood up like she was about to make a run for the bathroom,” Miss Robinson reports, “But I think it might have been the standing up that made her lose control.” “Whatever it was, something happened to really open up the floodgates,” the pretty Science teacher explains, “Stephanie just stood there by her lab table and wet her pants as bad as I’ve ever seen anyone wet there pants before.”

Stephanie is, not surprisingly, a bit embarrassed at her Biology teacher’s vivid description, but the cheery, good-natured sophomore beauty seems to take it in stride. “Yeah! I wet myself pretty bad,” she acknowledges, “It was like my bladder just exploded and totally soaked my jeans.” “About the only good thing was that I didn’t go the other way in my pants, too,” Stephanie tells us, “At least I managed to hold that in until I could use the girls’ room after class.” “I’ve done that in my pants before,” she acknowledges, “As bad as this wetting is, it isn’t nearly as bad as doing that.” “I’m obviously not happy about doing this,” she says, “But I have to say I’m lucky it wasn’t a doubleheader.”

Still, it’s not like Stephanie to have an accident in class and I have to wonder how it happened. She tells us that she’d had to go for most of the morning but she hadn’t really had the chance to go. “I don’t know what it was today, sir,” she tells me, “But I don’t normally really have to go until lunchtime.” “I usually go right before lunch and then I’m usually good until right before I go home,” Stephanie explains, “So my first thinking when I had to go this morning was to hold it in until lunchtime when I normally go.” But the pretty blonde tells us that she quickly realized that she wasn’t going to make it that long without going to the girls’ room. “I tried to duck into the girls’ room and go between classes before 5th period,” she explains, “But all the stalls were occupied and there was already a line waiting for stalls to open up.” She describes the girls’ room as a real FULL HOUSE -- a FULLER HOUSE than she’s ever seen before. “So I just went to my 5th period Biology class without going,” she tells us, “I already have 2 violations for being late to class for going to the bathroom and I didn’t want to get another one.” “And unfortunately, I don’t have any girls’ room passes left with Miss Robinson,” she adds. Miss Robinson then explains that Stephanie had her allotment of girls’ room passes taken away for 2 months for misusing them. She used a pass to meet up with one of her friends in the girls’ room. “I’m sorry I had to deny you permission to go to the girls’ room, Stephanie,” Miss Robinson tells the sweet, likeable sophomore, “But obviously there are consequences for misusing your girls’ room passes.” “I know,” Stephanie tells her, nodding her head, “I know I brought this all on myself.”

It’s Stephanie’s first panty-wetting accident, but having a prior violation for panty-soiling, it’s her second accident offense overall. And with the 2 violations for being late to class for bathroom purposes, and the one for misusing a girls’ room pass, and another for accidentally leaving the toilet unlashed after a bowel movement, she’s got a few priors on her school toilet record. For this wetting accident, she’ll have to serve 2 days detention and write, “I will not wet my pants in school again” 250 times. Stephanie, in keeping with her overall cheery disposition, takes her punishment in stride.

The next case this afternoon concerns Maddie, a pretty and popular blonde-haired sophomore. She is the starting point guard on our highly-ranked girls’ basketball team and this case apparently concerns something that happened at basketball practice two days ago. Maddie stands accused of clogging a toilet -- specifically, clogging a toilet in the girls’ room in the hallway down by the gym and doing so with a bowel movement. Fortunately for Maddie, this occurred at a basketball practice rather than a game. Accordingly, it’s not a toilet violation while representing the school. That would, of course, have made it a more serious violation. Still, her coach -- Coach Tieger -- is not pleased with her about this. Maddie has admitted to the offense, apologized for doing it, and asks for leniency as to her punishment.

“Why didn’t you just admit to the offense two days ago?” Coach Tieger asks her, a tinge of anger in her voice. “Why didn’t you just come to me and explain what you did when you did it?” she asks Maddie, “That was the time for you to get leniency for doing it.” “But you made us conduct a full-blown search for who clogged the toilet,” Coach Tieger tells her, “So I’d say that the time for leniency for what you did is long past.” “And what were you doing in that bathroom anyway?” the pretty blonde-haired coach continues, “What happened to just using the bathroom in the girls’ locker room during practice?”

“I’m sorry about that,” Maddie then tells her coach. “I’m sorry about that, Mr. Ziffel,” she turns and tells me. “I guess I should have just admitted what I did,” she says, “I guess Coach Tieger is right in that I should have just gone to her and explained what happened when I did it.” Of course, we both press her for an explanation as to specifically why she didn’t do that. “Well, I guess I was embarrassed, sir,” she explains, “I guess I was just embarrassed that one of my bowel movements had clogged the toilet.” “That isn’t the most lady-like thing,” she explains further, “I know I have big bowel movements sometimes but this was the first time one of them ever clogged the toilet.” “I guess I just didn’t want anyone to know it was me that did a bowel movement like that,” she adds.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about when you do big bowel movements, Maddie,” Coach Tieger tells her, “That happens to a lot of girls -- especially athletes -- and it’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of.” “There’s nothing shameful at all about doing bowel movements in the toilet,” the pretty coach continues, “It’s only when a girl does a bowel movement in her pants that she has reason to be ashamed.” “Yes Ma’am,” Maddie tells her coach, “I guess I just wasn’t thinking about it like that.” “I guess it’s certainly better to have one of your bowel movements clog the toilet than to do one in your pants,” the athletic sophomore beauty adds. “And it wasn’t even a matter of your bowel movement being all that massive,” the coach also points out, “Usually it takes a bowel movement a lot bigger than yours to clog one of the toilets here.” “It looks like it was just kind of a fluke how your bowel movement managed to clog the toilet this time,” she tells her point guard, “It looks like it just kind of broke into 2 pieces and then those pieces somehow managed to block each other from going down.” “If you flushed that same bowel movement a hundred times, I doubt that it would clog again,” Coach Tieger adds, “I just think it was a fluke that it clogged this time.” Maddie nods her head in agreement that that’s exactly how it happened. “The piece just broke in half and then the pieces just jammed together so that neither would go down,” she says. She also tells us that her toilet paper somehow managed to make it around the clogged bowel movement pieces and went down in one flush. “It wasn’t that I didn’t wipe myself after doing a bowel movement like that,” Maddie tells us, “Obviously, I always wipe myself when I use the toilet.” “I wipe no matter what I do in the toilet -- it’s just gross when girls don’t wipe,” she adds, “It’s just that my toilet paper went down and wasn’t part of the clog.”

Actually, it’s good for Maddie that her toilet paper was not part of the clog. As it was -- clogging with a bowel movement alone -- is the least serious category of toilet clogging under TVPC rules. That’s a “Category #1” clog while clogging with the toilet with a combination of a bowel movement and toilet paper would be a “Category #2” clog. Of course, I explain all this to Maddie. “You know, clogging the toilet like you did wasn’t really a serious violation at all,” I tell her, “Obviously, we know that a girl can’t always control what she does in the toilet and obviously you didn’t clog the toilet on purpose.” “Obviously, we know that you just sat down and did your bowel movement in the toilet like you were supposed to do,” I explain, “Like Coach Tieger told you, it was only a fluke that your bowel movement even managed to clog the toilet.” “So if you’d have just admitted what you did, your punishment wouldn’t have been much,” I explain further, “A ‘Category #1’ clog isn’t at all serious and you’d hardly be punished at all.” “But instead of just confessing to clogging the toilet, you made us conduct a full investigation to find the guilty party,” I tell her, an obvious tone of disappointment in my voice, “We obviously have to take that into consideration when determining your punishment.” Maddie lets out an audible groan at hearing that but she doesn’t argue. I think she understands that while clogging the toilet was clearly accidental on her point, she was wrong for not stepping up and just admitting that she was the one who did it.

“And what were you doing in that hallway girls’ room to begin with?” Coach Tieger asks her again, “When you told me during practice that you had an emergency and had to go, I just assumed you were going to be using the toilets in the girls’ locker room.” “Yes Ma’am -- I know you said we should use those instead of the girls’ room in the hallway,” Maddie explains, “But it’s just that I figured I could get a lot more privacy in the girls’ room in the hallway.” “It’s just that for doing what I had to do, I wanted a little more privacy,” she explains further. She goes on to tell us that in the girls’ locker room bathroom there were 2 girls already in there doing toilet sitting punishments. “I think Lauren was doing toilet sitting detention for soiling in her panties,” Maddie explains, “And I think Daria was being punishment for not squatting over the toilet properly or something like that.” “And Lauren was getting yelled at for doing another mess in her panties, “Maddie explains further, “Miss Musso was writing her up for another panty-soiling violation.” “When I saw all that I just decided to go use the girls’ room in the hallway,” Maddie says, “I just thought I could have more privacy that way.”

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Coach Tieger nods her head in understanding. “I guess it’s not that big a deal,” she tells Maddie, “I still don’t know what obsession you girls have about privacy in the bathroom but I guess this is no big deal.” “I don’t see how all that prevented you from just using a different stall in the locker room,” she tells the girl, “But I suppose there’s no harm done using the girls’ room in the hallway.” “I guess as long as you do it in the toilet, I shouldn’t complain,” Coach Tieger adds. Maddie nods her heard in acknowledgement of that. “It’s when your need for so much privacy interferes with you using the toilet that we have problems,” she lectures the pretty blonde-haired sophomore, “It’s when you hold it in because the bathroom isn’t perfect that we get accidents and I have to get tough with you girls.” “You girls need to learn to just use whatever toilet is available and not worry so much about privacy and stuff like that,” she says, “Toilets aren’t always as nice and private as your bathroom at home and it’s not worth the risk of an accident to be holding it in just because you don’t like whatever toilet is available at the time.”

Maddie, though, is a bit taken aback by her coach’s comments. She tells us that twice this year at away basketball games she’s had bowel movements in bathroom stalls without doors on them. “Sure I like my privacy,” she tells her coach, “I think it’s worth it to search a little to find a nice toilet -- especially when it’s for #2.” “But it’s not like I’d go in my pants instead,” she tells Coach Teiger, a bit perturbed that her coach would think otherwise, “I’d use whatever toilet is there before I go in my pants any day.” “It was gross using those open stalls like that but I did use them,” Maddie points out, “When it came to either that or going in my pants, I went in there and used the toilet.” “I’ve never gone in my pants at a basketball game or even at a practice,“ she reminds her coach, “Except for that one little accident I had in school last year, I haven’t even gone in my pants at school.“ The strict but friendly coach smiles and acknowledges that Maddie is correct and apologizes for making such a generalization.

All that settled, I must now determine Maddie’s punishment for clogging the toilet. I reiterate that clogging the toilet as she did -- a Category #1 clog -- is not a serious offense, but I must take into account how she tried to conceal what she did and that, upon discovering the clogged toilet, we had to do a 2-day investigation to find out who clogged it. “Had you just admitted what you’d done, you’re punishment would have been a lot less,” I remind her. But as it is, I sentence her to write “I will not clog the toilet in the girls’ room in school again” 500 times. Not surprisingly, Maddie is more than a little surprised at the severity of her punishment. “I thought that with basketball practice and all, I’d just give you a longer writing assignment and spare you any time in detention,” I explain. But I do offer her the alternative of writing the sentence only 300 times and serving 3 hours of detention as well. Reluctantly, Maddie takes the 500 times assignment. It’s admittedly a tough price to pay for merely clogging the toilet with a bowel movement but maybe next time she’ll speak up when she sees the TVPC doing an investigation on a toilet violation that she committed.

The next matter on the TVPC is a student-brought case. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, not all of our cases are brought by teachers and other staff members. Students are permitted to bring toilet violation cases against other students. This doesn’t happen often but then again, it isn’t all that rare, either. What’s most unusual about this case, though, is that the 2 girls are sisters.

Becky, a very pretty but toilet-troubled senior blonde has brought a case against her sister Darlene. Darlene, a smart but perennially under-achieving and perpetually wise-cracking sophomore brunette is about the opposite of her sister in every way. Becky and Darlene have a long history before the TVPC. Becky, who is decidedly shy about having bowel movements at school has had more than her share of soiling accidents. Darlene, who is a prankster by nature, has delighted in making sport of her sister’s toileting troubles. In a TVPC session a while back, Darlene was punished for intentionally leaving a bowel movement unflushed in a toilet -- a toilet in a girls’ room that Becky was assigned to clean that afternoon as punishment for messing on the toilet. That was a situation where Becky went to the girls’ room to urinate but with a soiling mess already in her panties, soiled the toilet seat when she sat down and urinated. And in another TVPC case, Darlene had planned to do the same again (or so she said -- some think she was actually planning to defecate on the floor) in a girls’ room where her sister was once again assigned toilet cleaning punishment. Only this time Darlene apparently waited too long in trying to find out what girls’ room Becky was going to be cleaning that afternoon and ended up messing in her panties instead. Darlene, who, much unlike her sister, has no problems using the school bathrooms for either function, was mightily embarrassed by that accident. But it actually may have been a blessing in disguise for her as she could have possibly gotten a toilet suspension for herself if she had followed through with her plan and had a second incident of harassing her sister as Becky did her bathroom cleaning punishment. And she most certainly would have gotten a toilet suspension as well as some bathroom cleaning punishment of her own if she (as some people suspected she was planning to do) had followed through and intentionally defecated someplace other than in the toilet. And though Darlene is smiling as she appears before the TVPC today, this is actually a serious matter. She does indeed face a possible toilet suspension if she’s found “Guilty” of harassing Becky again today.

Unraveling the details of this case, we find out that last week Becky had once again soiled her panties in school. It being her 6th such offense this school year, she was, of course, dealt with quite severely. In addition to a 1,000 times writing assignment and having to clean up her mess in the girls’ room here at school, Becky was given a long stretch of toilet sitting detention and toilet sitting during her 4th period study hall. This latest incident with Darlene apparently happened during Becky’s 4th period toilet sitting punishment this afternoon.

Turning now to Becky, I ask the toilet troubled senior beauty specifically what Darlene did to harass her in the girls’ room this afternoon. “Well, I was doing my punishment sitting on the toilet in the girls’ room down by the gym like I was supposed to.” Becky explains, “I was alone in there for practically the whole period.” “And then Darlene and her friend come in and they each take a stall on opposite sides of me,” Becky explains further, “And then they each……they each took ….um they each…..well, you know….they each too an um…..” “I think she means we each took a dump,” Darlene then chimes in, giggling. I then glance over and see Becky nodding her head to indicate that was indeed what Darlene and her friend did. So Darlene and her friend each had a bowel movement in the toilet in stalls on each side of you?” I ask her. “Yes sir,” Becky answers. I then wait for Becky to continue with her explanation. But Becky, in turn, just looks back at me. “That’s it?” I then ask her, surprised, “Darlene and her friend each come in and did a bowel movement in the toilet and you want me to punish Darlene for that?” “Well Becky, you know, that’s one of the things that girls are supposed to do in the toilets here,” I remind her, obviously puzzled as to why she’s brought a TVPC case about this. “That’s right Becky, lots of girls do their bowel movements in the toilet,” Darlene then chimes in, her characteristic sarcasm evident, “I mean you don’t, but most girls do.” Immediately, I bang my gavel at Darlene. “That’s enough from you, young lady,” I admonish her, “You’re on thin ice already and this is the only warning you’re going to get here today.”

Moving back to Becky, I’m still puzzled as to what Darlene’s violation is supposed to be. Of course, I ask Becky that. “Well, why did Darlene have to come into the bathroom down by the gym to begin with?” she questions, “And with all the stalls that were open why did the 2 of them have to take the stalls on opposite sides of me?” “Darlene has English 4th period -- All the way up here on the 2nd floor,” Becky points out, “Why would she go all the way down to the girls’ room by the gym just to use the toilet there?” “And then why would she have to use the toilet right next to mine?” she also asks, “And what’s with bringing her friend along with her to do the same thing.” But while those may be interesting questions, I’m still not getting how Darlene (and her friend) simply using the toilet constitutes “Bathroom Harassment.” “Obviously, she did all that just to bother me,” Becky explains, now growing frustrated that I don’t get it, “She knows that I have toilet sitting punishment down there that period and she came all the way down there from the 2nd Floor just to do it in the same bathroom that I was in.” “No doubt she held it in until 4th period, too,” Becky explains further, “Just so she could wait for the exact right time and do it in the stall right next to where I was doing my punishment.” “It’s just like the time Darlene held it in just so she could go and then leave the toilet unflushed in the bathroom I had to clean,” Becky reminds us, “And that time she made in her pants when she was trying to do it again.” Remembering that last incident brings a small smile to Becky’s face. “And what about Darlene’s friend Molly?” I ask Becky. “Well, somehow Darlene got her involved in this, too,” she answers, “Somehow Darlene convinced Molly to hold it in until then, too, so they could each do their business on opposite sides of me.” “But you’re not charging Molly with “Bathroom Harassment” -- you’re only charging Darlene?” I ask the increasingly frustrated senior beauty. “Darlene was obviously the ringleader of this -- I’m sure it was all her idea,” Becky answers, “She just somehow got Molly to go along with it for some reason.” “Maybe Darlene paid Molly to wait and go when she did,” Becky speculates, “I wouldn’t put anything past Darlene.”

Considering this case, it’s not that I don’t believe what Becky is telling me. Obviously, Darlene did arrange all this just so Becky would have to endure the 2 of them doing bowel movements on each side of her while she was forced to sit there on toilet sitting punishment. But I just don’t see how that’s a toilet violation. Leaving a toilet unflushed and soiling in her panties -- as Darlene did on those two prior occasions -- are both actually toilet violations. But I’m really not sure this is. When it comes right down to it, all Darlene did was have a bowel movement in the toilet. Something, I might add, that Becky really needs to do more of at school. “There are no regulations about which particular girls’ room a girl must use nor which stall a girl must use.” I explain to Becky, “As long as the stall is unoccupied and the toilet is functioning properly, a girl may use whatever girls’ room stall she pleases.” Of course, I doubt that Becky wants to hear that. “It‘s just not a toilet violation to go use the toilet next to another girl,” I tell the senior beauty, “Those others times, Darlene committed actual toilet violations but that’s just not the case time.” “Obviously, she concocted all this and I understand that it was probably annoying,” I explain further, “But simply having a bowel movement in a toilet at school is not a toilet violation.” “In fact, obviously, we encourage girls to have their bowel movements in our toilets,” I add.

“Bur sir, you obviously know it wasn’t like that,” Becky pleads with me, “You know this wasn’t just Darlene using the toilet.” “You know that Darlene came all the way downstairs just to do it in the girls’ room where I was,” she argues, “Shouldn’t Darlene have used the girls’ room nearest to where her class was?” “Think about all the time Darlene was out of class just to go down there,” Becky argues further, “Shouldn’t it be a violation for that?” It’s an interesting argument but once again, I explain to the exasperated senior beauty that there are no toilet regulations specifying which girls’ room a girl is supposed to use. “Her teacher could say that she has to use a specific girls’ room when she gives her a girls’ room pass,” I explain, “But the TVPC imposes no such restrictions.” Becky wants us to pursue that but that’s not going to happen. “If Darlene’s teacher wants to pursue that she can,” I point out, “But that’s not a case you can bring.” Accordingly, I find Darlene “Not Guilty” of “Bathroom Harassment.”

I can see Darlene is itching to say something -- No doubt sarcastic -- But heeding my earlier warning, wisely holds her tongue. Her smug smile is evident, though. She suggests that Becky now be punished for bringing this charge against her. “Isn’t there a rule against wasting the TVPC’s time?” she asks, “Aren’t girls punished when they bring a frivolous case?” That is indeed true, but it hardly applies in this case. “Just because you were found ’Not Guilty’ doesn’t make this case a frivolous one,” I lecture Darlene, a tinge of anger, or at least annoyance, in my voice, “Just because you weren’t guilty doesn’t mean Becky didn’t have a good reason to bring this case.” “You obviously did exactly what Becky described and more importantly, you did it for exactly the reasons that Becky described,” I continue, “Just because it didn’t quite rise to the level of a toilet violation doesn’t mean that Becky didn’t have good reason to charge you like she did.” Now, I can see Becky managing a small smile. “Darlene shouldn’t be allowed to be near anyone when she goes to the bathroom,” Becky then, rather lamely, remarks. “Better lay off that crazy Vegan diet that you eat,” she suggests to her sister, “Because something is making yours stink worse than you can believe.” “Really, Becky?” I ask her, “After all the times you’ve messed in your panties in this school year alone, you’re making fun of someone’s smell in using the toilet?” Becky then bows her head in shame. “Really, Becky? I reiterate. Alex, apparently here as a witness to the fact that Darlene arranged for Molly to go to the girls’ room with her, is unneeded as the facts here are not in dispute. She is dismissed along with Becky and Darlene.

The next matter before the TVPC concerns a pretty but painfully shy freshman named Erin. I WELCOME the FRESHMAN to the meeting although she is certainly no stranger to the TVPC. Yesterday morning, Erin handed in 1,000 times of “I will not soil my panties in school again.” That was her punishment for soiling in her panties last Tuesday. She also still has a week of toilet sitting detention to serve on a 2-week sentence. Erin’s panty-soiling was punished quite severely because it was her 5th of the school year.

Today, the shy, toilet-troubled freshman is being called before the TVPC to hand in the 2,000 word essay that she also had to write for that accident. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, punishment assignments -- whether they be repetitive writing or punishment essays -- are due 1 week from when they are assigned. “I see that you handed in your 1,000 times, but you still have a 2,000 word essay outstanding,” I tell her and note for the record, “I trust that you have it completed for us.” Assignments not completed on time are, of course, doubled. Fortunately for Erin, she seems to have completed hers on time. I see that she is holing up some papers in her hand and she confirms that it is indeed her 2,000 word punishment essay. As directed, she then hands her essay to the TVPC clerk. Looking it over, our clerk finds that it appears to be complete and in good order. Accordingly, the essay is accepted. It will, of course, be given closer scrutiny later.

In the meantime, I take a moment to address Erin. “These accidents have got to stop, young lady,” I lecture her, “Don’t you think you’re a little too old to keep messing in your pants like this.” The shy and quiet freshman brunette nods her head in agreement. “Hopefully, this latest round of punishment made an impression on you,” I suggest, “But, as I warned you, the punishment will only keep getting worse if you keep going in your pants.” “Next time, you will find yourself cleaning up your mess in the girls’ room here at school,” I warn her. “Unless you want to be doing that, I strongly suggest that you do your bowel movements in the toilet from now on,” I warn her further, “And trust me when I tell you that cleaning up your mess here in school is NOT something you’re going to like.” “Yes, sir,” Erin meekly tells me. She obviously understands that she needs to be doing her bowel movements in the toilet but apparently understanding it and actually doing it are two completely different matters for her. Sometimes girls -- especially freshmen -- have a really hard time adjusting to having a bowel movement in the school bathrooms.

But Erin explains that she’s really trying. “I know I’m too old to be messing in my pants -- I know I have to stop,” she says, “I know it’s disgusting and I have to start going in the toilet at school when I need to.” “But that’s hard for me sometimes, sir,” she tells me, “It’s hard for me but I’m trying sir -- I’m really, really trying.” She tells me that she actually did go in the girls’ room today. “I went during 6th period today,” she says, “I got a pass from Mrs. Defequer and went up to the girls’ room here on the 2nd floor.” “And I went into the stall, sat down, and did my bowel movement in the toilet,” she explains, “And then I wiped myself, pulled up my pants, and flushed it away.” Suddenly, there seems to be a bit of pride in her speech. “And then I washed my hands and went back to class,” she explains further, “I went and did my business in the toilet like I’m supposed to.” “I’m trying sir -- I’m really trying,” she reiterates, “I’m trying really hard not to go in my pants anymore.” “Well, that’s good,” I tell her with a smile, “But you gotta keep doing good -- You gotta keep using the toilet here at school when you need to.” “Yes, sir,” she tells me, “I really don’t want to keep having accidents like I’ve been doing.” “It must feel good to go in the toilet,” I suggest, “Isn’t that a lot better than going in your pants?” “Yes sir -- It is,” Erin tells me, an uncharacteristic smile on the pretty young freshman’s face.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

The last case on the agenda this afternoon seems to be a strange one. It involves Hope, the absolutely gorgeous star goal of the girls’ soccer team. She’s an all-state player but she has had her share of toileting issues at soccer games throughout her high school career. The soccer season ended several months ago -- our girls lost in the state finals -- but somehow Hope still finds herself charged today with wetting her pants at a soccer game. Toilet violations -- especially accidents -- by girls representing the school are, of course, punished more severely than accidents occurring in school. As a soccer player she obviously represents the school so this would certainly qualify as a “while representing the school” violations. But still I’m quite confused as to how Hope could be charged with this so long after the soccer season ended. Hope -- who is known to have some issues with her temper -- is obviously quite annoyed to now suddenly be charged with something soccer-related

Miss Johnson, an English teacher and soccer fan, asks to present a video clip from the soccer season. She is, of course, granted permission to do so. The clip is of the state championship game which went into overtime. “Watch this clip of Hope just before the overtime starts,” Miss Johnson says, “Here she is sitting down on the grass looking like she’s stretching.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRrPMeQFDOI

But watch when she stands up,” the young and pretty English Teacher continues, “Watch how she carefully shakes out her shorts.” Miss Johnson then stops and rewinds the clip. “Now watch it really carefully as Hope shakes out her shorts,” she says, “If you look really closely you can see liquid coming out of the shorts as she shakes them.” “I don’t think Hope needed to stretch out at all,” she argues, “I think the only reason Hope sat down on the grass like that was so that she could urinate.” I give the committee and those present -- including, of course, Hope herself -- a moment to digest what they’re seeing. Miss Spellman -- the girls‘ soccer coach -- is also present for this case. “So you’re saying that Hope not only wet her pants but that she wet them on purpose?” I ask Miss Johnson. “Yes, Mr. Chairman,” she answers. “I can only speculate that Hope must have had to go but didn’t want to go find a bathroom before the overtime began,” she explains, “But whatever the reason, I think it’s pretty clear that Hope just sat down and wet her pants on purpose at the game.” Unfortunately for Hope, this would be sort of a double whammy. Not only is wetting your pants at a game while representing the school a more serious violation but so is wetting (or soiling) your pants on purpose. Hope has, of course, pleaded “Not Guilty” to the charge.

Its an interesting clip and it’s not as easy to see as Miss Johnson would have us believe. If Hope did wet her pants there, she did seem to disguise it pretty well with her stretching routine. But looking closely, it really does appear that Hope is shaking some liquid out of her shorts. Of course I ask the tall and beautiful senior goalie about this. “The game was going into overtime and I was stretching to keep loose,” Hope tells us, obviously annoyed that this matter is even before the TVPC. “I don’t know why anyone would have a problem with that,” she argues, “You always have to stretch and keep loose like that when you play goalie.” “And Soccer season was over a long time ago,” she angrily argues, “Isn’t there a statue of limitations on this or something.”

“First of all, the term is STATUTE of limitations not STATUE of limitations,” I tell her, “And no, there is NOT a STATUTE of limitations for toilet violations.” “And no one is denying that you have to stretch when you play soccer or any other sport for that matter,” I continue, “The question is whether you did anything else while you were sitting there stretching.” “In the clip, there really does appear to be liquid coming out of your shorts,” I point out, “Would you care to address that.” “Well, it was a hot day, you know,” she tells me, sarcasm quite evident, “It’s hard not to sweat when you play soccer in really hot weather.”

“No way! -- No way was that only sweat,” Miss Johnson quickly chimes in, “No one sweats from their shorts like that.” I motion for Miss Johnson to keep quiet just as I motion for Hope not to respond to that. “Please let me handle this,” I tell them both. Obviously I have more questions for our very beautiful soccer star. That the soccer season ended a while ago, that she was stretching before the overtime began, and that soccer players sweat a lot in hot weather are all true statements. But none of them actually address the question of whether Hope wet her shorts at the soccer game much less whether she did it deliberately or not. Hope’s is the classic response of a girl (often a girl with experience appearing before the TVPC) who doesn’t want to admit to an offense, but is careful not to lie about it and risk getting more punishment. Obviously, I’m not going to let her get away with that. In fact, it’s more it look more and more that Hope is actually guilty of this.

As I question Hope more intently, she quickly moves on to making excuses for what she did rather than denying it. “It was already a long game and I had already been holding it in for awhile,” Hope says, “And now it was going into overtime.” “I already had to go and the game was going into overtime!” she points out emphatically, “What else was I supposed to do?” “Well, you certainly shouldn’t have just wet your pants on purpose,” chimes in Coach Spellman, “That’s just disgusting.” “It’s not your first game, Hope,” Coach Spellman angrily tells her, “If you have to go, you either hold it in or you run to the bathroom before the overtime starts.” Hope has had numerous bathroom issues during soccer games in the past -- most of them bowel movement related and most from not wanting to use port-o-potties for that particular function. But this year -- her senior year -- she had done a lot better. Making it through a whole soccer season without a toilet violation at a game was really a big accomplishment for her. Or at least it SEEMED to be an accomplishment for her. Her coach is obviously not pleased, although she seems more disappointed than angry at her star goalie. “Well, so much for making it through the season without having an accident at a game,” Coach Spellman tells her, shaking her head, “I really thought, after all you’ve been through over the years, you had finally learned your lesson -- I really thought that you had put all your accident issues in the past.” “But then again, this wasn’t actually an accident, was it?” she adds, a tinge of sarcasm in her pants, “You can’t really call it an accident, when you just sit down and wet your pants on purpose.”

Hope, who has been known to have anger issues in the past (including while before the TVPC), gets increasingly frustrated with this case. She renews her argument about a STATUTE of Limitations (this time she says it correctly) and the fact that this is being brought up so long after the soccer season has concluded. “This happened a long time ago -- it’s over!” she argues vehemently, “You shouldn’t be allowed to punish someone for something that happened in the past.” But I tell her that this is no such Statute of Limitations on TVPC matters. “If you did the crime, you can expect to get punished for it -- it’s as simple as that,” I tell her. “This is BULLSHIT!” Hope angrily lashes out. “First of all, there was nothing else I could do at the time,” she argues, “And second of all, if no one even noticed it then, you shouldn’t be allowed to punish me for it now.” “This is BULLSHIT!,” she says again. Immediately, I bang my gavel to stop her before she makes it even worse on herself. “You’re in enough trouble already, young lady,” I warn her, “You’ll watch your language if you know what’s good for you.” “Do you want to go on toilet suspension again?” I ask her. “As I recall it didn’t go very well, the last time you had toilet suspension,” I remind her, “As I recall you weren’t very good at holding it in and you end up spending quite a lot of time in wet and messy panties then.” With that warning, Hope seems to calm down a bit. She assures me that she most certainly does not want to lose her toilet privileges. “Well, one more outburst and you will lose those toilet privileges,” I warn her, “One more outburst and I will most certainly put you on toilet suspension again.

Looking over her school toilet record this year, I note that she has 2 prior soiling accidents but no prior accidents of either kind while representing the school. This one, of course, is indeed while representing the school. She’s might lucky it’s her first in that regard this school year. She does also have 2 violations this year for other things -- one for arguing with a teacher over a panty inspection and the other for existentially clogging the toilet with a particularly large bowel movement and a large amount of toilet paper. Her prior toilet suspension happened last year. Accordingly, I’m not allowed to consider it when determining her punishment for a violation this year. But I certainly can, as I did, use it to remind her of how bad it was to be barred from using the school toilets and that she certainly wouldn’t want to go through that again.

For punishment, I first give Hope a week of detention and sentence her to write “I will not urinate in my pants at in school or at soccer games or any other time while representing the school again” 500 times. That’s pretty much the standard punishment for an accident while representing the school. “But this was, of course, no accident,” I then remind Hope, “This was something that you did entirely on purpose.” “That is, of course, more serious than merely having an accident,” I remind her. “So that means I now double that punishment,” I explain to Hope and note for the record, “Your punishment is now actually going to be 1,000 times and 2 weeks of detention.” Hope is certainly not happy with that. She looks about ready to fly into a rage again, but I put up my hand to stop her. “Watch your language, young lady,” I warn her again, “You don’t want to lose your toilet privileges.” Hope takes a moment to regain her composure.

“Sir,” she starts respectfully and then she calmly asks about her punishment. She asks me to reconsider the extra punishment for having to done it on purpose. “Obviously, SIR, I did wet my pants and obviously, as you can see in the clip, that’s what I was doing when I sat down and was stretching,” she then admits, “And obviously that’s my pee and not just sweat that I’m shaking out of my shorts.” “But it’s not like I really had much choice in the matter,” the pretty senior goalie explains. “No one knew how long that overtime was going to last and I had to go really bad already,” she tells us, “I know it’s really gross to just pee your pants like that, but as I said, what choice did I really have.” “I had to go bad and there was just simply no way I was going to be able to hold it in,” she explains further, “I just didn’t know what else I could do.” Hope argues that she was undoubtedly going to wet her pants anyway during the overtime so she decided to just take care of it beforehand. “I know I have to be punished for wetting my pants and I have to get punished worse because it was at a soccer game,” she pleads, “But can you just please not give me the double punishment for doing it on purpose?” “Please, sir?” she pleads further, “Please?” Though I appreciate Hope’s newfound respectful tone, there really isn’t much to consider. “I’m sorry Hope, but there‘s simply no getting around the fact that you wet your pants on purpose,” I explain to the beautiful soccer star, “And going in your pants on purpose means more punishment than for just having an accident.” “I’m afraid your double punishment is going to stand, Hope,” I tell her and note for the record, “It’s going to 1,000 lines and 2 weeks of detention.”

But obviously, wetting her pants on purpose at the soccer game is not all that Hope needs to be punished for today. “And you do know your punishment isn’t going to end there, right?” I ask her. “Yes, sir,” Hope answers dejectedly. I then sentence the senior beauty to write 500 times, “I will not use profanity at meetings of the Toilet Violations Punishment committee again.” The punishment, of course, is for her outburst earlier. This time, she doesn’t even argue but just accepts it. Perhaps she learned her lesson and realizes that arguing is far more likely to get her a worse punishment than a lesser one. As I dismiss her, and thank Miss Johnson for bringing this matter to our attention, Hope just wisely steps away from the podium. She has a lot of detention to serve and a lot of writing to do.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Erin's Punishment Essay

NAME: Erin

TVPC Punishment Essay

Offense: Panty-Soiling

Offense Date:3/06/18

Length: 2,000 Words

Due Date: 3/13/18

I am writing this essay as my punishment for going to the bathroom in my pants in school last Tuesday. This was the fifth time that I’ve gone in my pants at school this year. I must learn that going in my pants is a shameful and disgusting thing to do and I am too old to keep doing this. I am in high school now and there is no excuse for a girl my age to be messing in her panties like I do sometimes. I must learn to use the girls’ room in school when I need to and I must learn to stop trying to hold it in until I get out of school. It’s when I try to hold it in too long that I have accidents and wind up with a mess in my pants. I must learn that no matter how much I may dislike going to the bathroom in school, it’s still better than messing in my pants like I do sometimes. I do go to the girls’ room everyday to pee, but unfortunately sometimes I need to do more than just pee. Instead of trying to hold it in and wait until I get home, I must learn to do my bowel movements in school as well as going to the girls’ room to pee.

I just don’t like to go to the girls’ room at school when it’s more than just having to pee. I really don’t like using the girls’ rooms here at school to pee, either, but that’s easier for me than when I have to do the other. But as I wrote, I must learn to use the girls’ room in school no matter which bodily function it is that I need to do. No matter how much I may hate going poop in the girls’ room, I need to learn that it’s better than going poop in my panties. I must learn not to keep holding it in like I do just because I want to go at home instead of going at school. Just because I may like going at home better than going here at school, it’s no excuse to be going in my pants like I do sometimes. I must learn that instead of trying to hold in and wait until I get home to go, I need to just go to the girls’ room and do it in the toilet here. If I would just go to the girls’ room and do it in the toilet when I need to, I wouldn’t be having these accidents that I have. And, of course, I wouldn’t be embarrassing myself but doing something so shameful at my age and wouldn’t be having to serve detentions and detentions on the toilet, and write line and write essays like this as my punishment. Going in the toilet, including here at school when I need to, is what I should be doing rather than going in my pants.

When I had my accident last Tuesday, I first started feeling the need to go towards the end of gym class 3rd period. I really hate it when the need to have a bowel movement comes on so early in the day like that. That means that I’ve got a long time to have to hold it in before I can get to the bathroom at home. But I have to learn that when that happens I need to just go to the girls’ room and do it because I’m probably not going to be able to hold it in long enough to make it home. I should know by now that when I try to hold it in so long is when I lose control later and end up with a mess in my panties. Having to go during 3rd period like I did should have been my first indication that I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in for the rest of the day and I should have been my first indication that I should have just gone to the girls’ room and did what I needed to do in the toilet. But unfortunately, I did try to hold it until I got home and that’s how I ended up with a mess in my panties.

As I was changing after gym class, I could feel that I needed to go. I mean, it wasn’t an emergency but I definitely did need to go. Obviously, I should have just gone in the girls’ locker room bathroom, but no way did I want to go in there. I did go over to the bathroom to wash my hands and I saw there was one girl who was going in the stall that doesn’t have a door on it and she was going poop in there. I don’t know who she was but I really admire here for being able to go poop like that. I could never even pee in a toilet without a door but here she was going poop. Like I said I really admire her for being able to do that. I bet she doesn’t have any accidents going poop in her pants here at school like I do. I wish I could be like that and just go when I need to and avoid having accidents. But I have to learn to at least go poop in toilets with doors on the stalls. I must learn to do that because I’m too old to keep doing messes in my pants like I do sometimes.

I also saw that Miss Musso was going poop in one of the stalls. I saw her coming out of one of the stalls -- one of the stalls that had a door on it -- and coming over to the sinks to wash her hands. I wish I would have just gone into the stall after her and done what I needed to do. If I’d at least done that, I wouldn’t have had a mess in my panties later and I wouldn’t be having to write this punishment essay now. I must learn to do my bowel movements in the toilets here at school and never mess in my panties again.

I held it in during 4th period History class and by the time I got to lunch 5th period, I was having to go kind of bad. Of course, once again this should have told me that I needed to go take care of it in the girls’ room here at school. I should have known that there was no way I was going to be able to hold this in until I got home and that inevitably I was going to end up with a mess in my panties if I just keep trying to hold it in. But foolishly I just kept trying to hold it in. I guess that was pretty stupid of me especially since I did go to the girls’ room to pee. But I really didn’t want to go poop in the girls’ room by the cafeteria because there were so many other girls in there. As I said, it was really stupid of me to be holding in my poop when I was already sitting on the toilet going pee. And it’s not easy to be going one way while trying to hold it in the other way. If I’d have only gone poop then when I needed to -- when I was already sitting on the toilet -- I wouldn’t have messed in my panties later and I wouldn’t have to be getting punished for it now. I really must learn to stop holding it in when I need to go at school and just go to the girls’ room and do it.

I have French class 6th period and I did ask Mrs. Defequer for a pass to go to the girls’ room. She let me go and I really did want to go do it in the toilet. I’m trying really hard to go in the toilet when I need to and not mess in my panties anymore. I went upstairs to the girls’ room on the 2nd Floor and I really wanted to go use the toilet there like I needed to. I went up to the 2nd Floor because the girls’ room there is the nicest and I really have gone poop there a few times before. But when I got there Miley and Ariana were already in there and they were each doing a toilet sitting punishment for messing in their panties. The thing was there were in there for the whole period doing toilet sitting so there was no way I could ever be alone in there. I just can’t make myself go -- not for poops -- when other girls are in the bathroom, too. If only I could be alone in the bathroom, I can go poops and I have done it a few times before. As I said, I’m really trying hard to go poops at school and not in my pants but I really can’t do that unless I really have a lot of privacy in the bathroom. I was trying really hard to go in the toilet -- I really was. I hate going poop in my panties -- I really do. I tried to go -- I really did -- but I just couldn’t do it with Miley and Ariana just sitting there in the bathroom while I was going to do it. I’m trying to do the right and not mess in my panties anymore but I guess I need to try harder since I didn’t actually go in the toilet and I did mess in my panties again.

I kept trying to hold it in as best I could but later in 6th period, it just started coming out in my panties. And then by the time I got to Algebra class 7th period, I really lost control and I really started to go in my panties even worse. I tried to hold it in as best I could but obviously by now, I had waited too long and pretty soon the whole thing was out in my panties. It probably wasn’t the worst mess I’ve ever done but it was bad enough. It was all soft and squishy and pretty soon I could feel it all in my panties and all over my behind. I’m sorry and very ashamed of myself for doing it, but I had messed in my panties once again. I tried to conceal it as best I could but Miss Spellman could tell what I did and she came over and asked me if I’d done a mess in my panties. I was so ashamed of myself that I didn’t want to say that I did in front of the whole class but by now, everyone already knew that I had. But no matter how many times I do it, I never get used to the shame I feel when a teacher catches me with soiled panties.

But I know that the only way to avoid that shame is to go in the toilet when I need to. I know that I must learn to do that. I know the only way that I can avoid any more messes in my panties -- and I really must learn to avoid doing messes in my panties -- is to go to the toilet when I need to. I really hate doing messes in my panties and I really hate the shame and disgust and the having to clean up the mess that comes with that. I hate the punishments that I have to do when I go to the bathroom in my pants. And I’m learning the hard way that the punishments keep getting worse the more times that I go in my pants. I know that in order to avoid that I need to stop trying to hold it in until I get home and go use the toilet here at school when I need to.

I am very sorry and ashamed of myself for going in my pants and I must learn to go in the girls’ room instead.

[Peevert]

Curious, do you scan old Penthouse Forum mags and add the "18" disclaimer or do you actually spend hours writing this stuff?

[Arnold Ziffel]

This is all newly written stuff -- or at least written in the last several years. It's all new from the LETTERS magazine days. I use a lot more dialogue in these stories than I could ever use in the LETTERS stories.

[spandexman]

Thanks again Arnold

Love Mrs. Johns she is such a shit detective. She can sniff out an accident a mile away.