Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a SPECIAL SESSION of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Normally, meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school. Therefore, all persons depicted -- even though entirely fictional -- are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the SPECIAL SESSION of the TVPC called for 10:00 AM on Monday, August 19, 2019.

Even though the school year is not yet in session, the school is still quite busy getting ready for the new school year. And when the school is busy, the TVPC must be ready to deal with the toilet violations that inevitably will occur. Recently, our cheerleading squad went away to cheerleading camp for a week to get ready for the upcoming football season. Since this was a school activity, any toilet violations by the girls at the camp are, of course, subject to TVPC regulation. This SPECIAL SESSION of the TVPC has been called to address those toilet violations at cheerleading camp. A quick glance at our quite lengthy agenda, shows we have a wide variety of cases to deal with this morning. I note that though there were girls from other schools at the camp -- which took place at a local college -- this was not a competition against those other schools. Consequently, this is considered merely a cheerleading practice and the girls are not considered to be representing the school as they would be if this were a competition. That is, of course, good news for the girls charged with toilet violations at the camp.

Miss Musso, coach of our cheerleading squad, has mixed feelings about that. “Some of these violations occurred in front of girls from other schools,” Coach Musso points out, “I realize that this wasn’t a competition or anything like that but those toilet violations did embarrass the school just like toilet violations at games or cheerleading events do.” As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, accidents and other violations by cheerleaders at games and competitions with other schools are punished more severely. Those violations “while representing the school” embarrass not only the girl committing the violation but the whole cheerleading squad and even our whole school. “I mean, some of these did happen in the dorm,” Coach Musso points out, “In that case, I can see it counting only as a regular toilet violation.” She points out that each school at the camp had it’s own floor in the dorm and each floor had a bathroom for the girls to use. “Stuff in the dorms was pretty much confined to our school,” the sexy, cheerleading coach explains, “That would surely be just a regular violation.” “But some stuff happened in other parts of campus and in front of girls from other schools,” she argues, “I would think those should be considered violations while representing the school.”

While our cheerleading coach does make a good point, it’s not up to us to decide. “I’m sorry Grace, but the rules are the rules,” I tell her, “And it’s the TVPC’s job to enforce the rules as they are written.” “According to the rules, cheerleading camp is not a competition but only a practice,” I explain to the spandex-clad beauty, “And girls at practice sessions are not considered to be representing the school -- at least not as far as the TVPC is concerned.”

But before moving forward to our agenda of toilet violations by our cheerleaders, I must check on Coach Musso herself. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, she is subject to TVPC regulations just as our cheerleaders are. And what concerns me most about Coach Musso is the possibility of her having a soiling accident -- especially while wearing that tight red spandex that has become her trademark. She, not surprisingly, tells us that she didn’t have any accidents or other toilet violations at camp. But obviously I can’t take her word for it. For this I need to check with Cheyenne, a very pretty senior blonde, who is the captain of the cheerleading squad. She confirms that Coach Musso was accident-free at the camp. And she further confirms that Coach Musso did not commit any other toilet violations, either.

“The only issue is that she got some really bad skidmarks in her panties one time,” Cheyenne reports, “It was that day when we went on this long hike and I guess the problem was that we were away from regular bathrooms for most of that day.” Cheyenne’s comments raise a few eyebrows on the committee. Skidmarks in and of themselves do not constitute a soiling violation. However, if the skidmarks are bad enough -- if they comprise actual, tangible fecal matter in the coach’s panties -- that would indeed constitute a panty-soiling violation. Of course, I ask Coach Musso about that.

“Really, Mr. Chairman -- It wasn’t panty-soiling,” the coach argues in her defense, “It was just a few little skidmarks in my panties -- It really was nothing.” She explains that she was holding it in much of the afternoon as they were hiking but she definitely made it to the girls’ room in time and did her bowel movement there. “I guess my underwear must have been riding up my behind as I was fighting to hold it in,” she says, “I guess that’s how the skidmarks happened.” “But it was only a few mild skidmarks,” she reiterates, “It was really nothing, Mr. Chairman.” “It was really gross,” Cheyenne then chimes in, “It was really disgusting if you ask me.” “Maybe it doesn’t actually count as a mess in your panties, but I’d still be ashamed of myself if it happened to me,” the pretty, blonde captain continues, “It was bad enough that Coach Musso did go and change her underwear afterwards.”

The comment again raises eyebrows amongst the committee. I’m not at all sure now that this was not an accident. Again, I question our sexy Cheerleading Coach. “Don’t lie to me, Grace,” I warn her, “If this was indeed an accident you know it’s best to just admit it and take your punishment.” “You know that lying to the TVPC only makes it worse,” I remind her. But Coach Musso still maintains that it was not an accident. “Look -- I guess the skidmarks were kind of bad,” she acknowledges, “But it really wasn’t enough to call it a panty-soiling accident.” “There really was no tangible fecal matter in my panties,” she insists. She acknowledges that she did indeed change her panties afterwards -- after she finished taking care of the actual bowel movement in the toilet, she notes -- but that she didn’t have to rinse out her panties or anything like that before putting them in the wash.

She admits, though, that she was holding it in because she didn’t want to use a port-o-potty for that -- port-o-potties were apparently available to them at a rest break area along the route of the hike. I am not at all pleased to hear that and I tell Coach Musso so. “Oftentimes you’re going to find that port-o-potties are the only facilities available at the football fields we’ll be traveling to this upcoming season,” I warn Coach Musso. “Your not using them when you need to has gotten you in trouble in the past,” I remind her, “I really hope we’re not going to have any of those kind of problems this season.” “We won’t, sir,” Coach Musso promises me, “I promise we won’t have any problems this season.” “We better not, Grace,” I warn her sternly.

In the meantime, though, the TVPC can’t conclude that Grace’s skidmarked panties were bad enough to constitute a violation. Though I do admonish her sternly for being irresponsible in holding it in so long when she could have used a port-o-potty on the hike, we can’t charge her with “Panty-Soiling” at cheerleading camp.

Moving ahead to toilet violations amongst the girls, we first have a cutie named Karen. Karen, a blonde-haired freshman, has 2 toilet violations to answer for today. The first is “Panty-Soiling” and the second is “Masturbating in the Girls’ Room” -- both, of course, at Cheerleading Camp. Luckily for her, the panty-soiling apparently happened first and since it’s also her first violation of the school year -- the first violation of her high school career, in fact -- she may only get a warning for that. As I explain that to her, she manages a small smile -- no doubt at the notion that she’s facing punishment on only one of her toilet violations rather than both. What she might not know, though, is that the “Masturbating in the Girls’ Room” is the more serious charge. But before I can officially conclude that she’s only getting a warning for the panty-soiling I must confirm one thing.

“The rules are that your first accident offense each school year is only a warning if you’ve got no other toilet offenses so far that school year,” I tell her, “And that would seem applicable to your panty-soiling offense.” “Yes, sir,” she tells me, obviously not wanting to contradict that. “But I also have to make sure that the panty-soiling wasn’t committed along with another violation,” I also note, “You wouldn’t be entitled to get off with just a warning if you committed another violation in conjunction with the panty-soiling.” Faithful readers of the TVPC surely understand that if a girl were to lie about soiling her panties or try to flush her panties down the toilet or hide them in the girls’ room or even if she were to get some of the mess on the toilet seat while trying to clean herself up or use the girls’ room afterwards, she would forfeit her right to be let off with just a warning for the original panty-soiling violation. But Karen -- only a freshman who hasn’t even actually started high school yet -- doesn’t quite understand what I’m talking about.

“I need to know about your masturbating in the girls’ room, Karen,” I then explain to her, “I need to know if that had anything to do with your panty-soiling violation.” Thinking for a moment as to specifically how to phrase it, I then ask her, “When you were masturbating in the girls’ room, were you doing so in your soiled panties?” The freshman cutie hesitates a moment -- apparently to let the question sink in. “No sir -- I wasn’t!” she then answers emphatically, “No sir -- EWWW! -- I didn’t do that in my soiled panties!” “EWWW!” she reiterates, “I would NEVER do THAT in soiled panties” “Sir -- The last thing I’d ever want to do is masturbate in soiled panties,” she then explains, shaking her head, “EWWW! -- Just EWWW! -- that’s disgusting.” Coach Musso, who caught her with the soiled panties and Heather M., an older girl on the cheerleading squad who caught her masturbating in the girls’ room, both confirm that her two toilet violations had nothing to do with each other. “They were two entirely separate violations,” Coach Musso confirms for the record, “They actually happened 2 days apart.” “The only thing I wanted to do when I had the mess was get myself cleaned up,” Karen adds, “No way did I want to do anything else but get back into clean panties.”

Checking with Karen, she confirms that her accident happened while the cheerleading squad was on that fitness/team-building hike and away from regular bathroom facilities. “There were port-o-potties at the rest area at the halfway point in the hike,” the freshman reports, “But unfortunately, I didn’t use them when I had the chance.” “I thought I could wait until I got back to the dorms,” she tells us, shaking her head, “I thought for sure I could hold it until we got back to our regular bathroom.” “It was my fault, sir -- I’m sorry,” she admits, obviously quite embarrassed, “It was really a stupid thing to do.”

Accepting her admission of guilt, I officially note it as Karen’s first panty-soiling offense of the school year and officially note her only “punishment” as a warning. “Thank you, sir,” the blonde-haired cutie tells me. “Well, I hope you understand that it’s only a warning this time,” I tell her, “Next time it’s going to be an actual punishment.” “There won’t be a next time,” she assures me, “I never want to have a mess in my panties again.” “I guarantee you that I’ve learned my lesson,” she assures Coach Musso, “I never want to have a mess in my panties again!” “That’s disgusting,” she adds, “It’s just awful how that feels.”

Moving on to her charge of “Masturbating in the Girls’ Room,” Karen admits to that as well but denies she did anything wrong. The shy but quite well-spoken freshman rather bravely -- albeit sheepishly -- admits that she masturbates and doesn’t think that there is anything with it. She tells us that she usually only does it at home but being away at cheerleading camp for an entire week, we really couldn’t expect her to go a whole week without doing it. As she starts to defend herself, I put up my hand to stop her. “You’re not being punished for masturbating per say,” I remind her, “Your violation is for doing it in the girls’ room.” “The girls’ room is for girls doing their appropriate bathroom business,” I note, “Its not for girls doing other things like you were doing.” “There’s nothing wrong with doing what you were doing, it’s just that the girls’ room is not the appropriate place for you to be doing it,” I explain, “That particular activity is best left to the privacy of your bedroom.” Karen, while acknowledging that she understands, also explains that the girls’ room was actually the most private place she could find. “I mean, I usually do do it in my bedroom -- that’s just fine when I’m home,” she points out, “But that’s not really private at all while sharing a bedroom at cheerleading camp with another girl.” “A locked stall in the girls’ room was really the most private place to do it,” she argues.

Her argument, though, leaves me and several other members of the TVPC shaking our heads. “You simply can’t masturbate in the girls’ room,” I tell her, “Whether it’s in school or at cheerleading camp, it’s simply against the rules.” “I’m sorry but if you want to masturbate you’re just going to have to find someplace other than the girls’ room to do it,” I tell her in no uncertain terms. “Like Mr. Ziffel said, the girls’ room is where girls need to take care of their bathroom business,” chimes in Mrs. Adler, a new member of the TVPC, “It’s certainly not for taking care of other kinds of business.” “What if you really needed to go? -- What if you had an emergency and couldn’t get into a stall because another girl was in there masturbating?” she asks the blonde-haired freshman cutie.

But Karen notes that she was careful to do it only when she thought the girls’ room would be empty and she’d have more privacy. “Obviously I didn’t want to do it with lots of other girls around -- Obviously I wanted to have some privacy while doing it,” she says. She tells us that she ate dinner quickly and then headed back upstairs to the bathroom on their floor while the rest of the girls were downstairs in the cafeteria. “We were having an assembly program after dinner downstairs -- we were seeing a movie,” she recounts, “I figured I could sneak upstairs, do what I wanted to do, and then go back downstairs for the movie.” “I just never counted on Heather coming upstairs to do what she needed to do, too,” she explains. It was Heather M., another cheerleader on the squad, also coming upstairs to that particular girls’ room that caught Karen doing what she was doing.

“Well, as I understand it, Heather went upstairs to use the bathroom for what you’re supposed to use the bathroom for,” notes Mrs. Crabtree, another member of the TVPC. Heather M. then confirms that she indeed went to the bathroom upstairs to have more privacy to do a bowel movement. “THAT is what the girls’ room is for,” Mrs. Adler then comments, directing the comment toward the freshman cheerleader. “I didn’t mean to suggest that Heather had done anything wrong,” Karen clarifies, “It’s just that I was surprised to see anyone else up there while I was doing what I was doing.” Upon questioning from me, Heather M. confirms that she was able to use the toilet without any interference from Karen. “Well, she seemed like she was really into it when I walked in and caught her,” the tall and pretty junior -- dressed fashionably in yellow as is her trademark -- explains, “But when I caught her, she immediately stopped what she was doing and let me have some privacy of my own to do what I needed to do.” Karen shrugs her shoulders at that -- the implication being that obviously she wouldn’t continue masturbating after being walked in on like that.

As we contemplate Karen’s punishment for the violation of “Masturbating in the Girls’ Room,” Mrs. Crabtree makes note of the latter in arguing for a lighter punishment for the cute freshman. “Obviously, she did a toilet violation and needs to be punished for it, Mr. Chairman,” the committeewoman argues, “But at least she didn’t interfere with anyone else’s ability to use the toilet for legitimate reasons.” Mrs. Karbopple, another TVPC members, agrees. “Obviously, we can’t condone masturbating or any other improper behavior in the girls’ room,” she notes, “But when girls are away at camp like this, it does present an unfortunate situation.” “Karen was trying to be as discreet as possible,” she argues in the girl’s defense, “I think that should be reflected in her punishment.” I hear them. They make a valid point. Accordingly, I sentence the cute, blonde-haired freshman to 3 days detention and having to write “I will not masturbate in the girls’ room in school or at cheerleading camp again” 300 times. “Typically, the punishment is 5 days detention and 500 times,” I point out to her, “But for those reasons stated we decided to give you a bit of break.” I don’t think Karen had initially understood that her punishment was light one -- particularly with the length of that sentence she has to write 300 times. But with that last explanation I think she’s beginning to understand. “And you definitely won’t catch a break if you’re caught doing this again,” I sternly warn her, “With a second offense, you’ll likely find yourself on toilet suspension and writing a thousand lines on the blackboard after school.” This time I think she fully understands the seriousness of what she did and what she faces if she does it again.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

The next girl before the TVPC is a tall, athletic brunette named Jennifer. Jennifer also soiled her panties at cheerleading camp -- hers’ coming as she ran to the girls’ room during breakfast one morning and just didn’t quite make it in time. She also plays on our basketball team and is active in our theater program and although in her second year, this is her first year on the cheerleading squad.

“I did it -- it was all my fault,” the pretty sophomore admits as she breaks down in tears. “I’m sorry -- I’m so sorry,” she cries out, obviously in shame, “I just waited too long and then I just couldn’t make it in time.” “It was just stupid,” she admits, “It was all my fault.” Trying to calm her down a bit, I remind her that just like with Karen, it’s only her first offense of the school year and her “punishment” will only be a warning. It is, in fact, her first accident offense at all, having gone her entire freshman without an accident of either variety. But not even reminding her of that eases her shame. “I still did it,” she says, trying in vain to dry her tears, “I still messed in my pants like a baby.” “Accidents can happen sometimes,” Coach Musso chimes in sympathetically, “At least the mess wasn’t all that bad -- At least you managed to do some of it in the toilet.”

“That’s no excuse,” Jennifer tells the Cheerleading Coach, “We’re supposed to do ALL of it in the toilet, not SOME of it in the toilet and some of it in our pants.” “I mean, I’m glad I’m not going to be punished and all,” she then clarifies, “But like I said before, that doesn’t mean I didn’t do it -- It doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be ashamed of myself.” “Just because it’s my first time shouldn’t be an excuse,” she adds through her tears, “There’s really no excuse for going in my pants at all.” “Well, I didn’t mean it as an excuse,” I then clarify, “Obviously, your bowel movements all belong in the toilet and you shouldn’t be doing them in your pants.” “Like you said, it’s still a shameful thing to do and there’s no excuse for doing it,” I acknowledge. “But accidents do happen sometimes,” I tell her, “And a lot of girls have done way worse than you in that regard.” “Again, I don’t mean it is an excuse,” I explain, “But I do think you’re being awfully hard on yourself.” “I guess so,” she says, drying her eyes a bit. “But I still wish I hadn’t done it -- I still wish I hadn’t done it all,” she says, “I still can’t believe that I went to the bathroom in my pants -- and at cheerleading camp, too boot.”

Reviewing Coach Musso’s description of Jennifer’s accident, it seems that the girls were sitting in the cafeteria eating breakfast that morning when the sophomore brunette just bolted from her seat and ran from the room. “Obviously, I suspected what the problem was,” Coach Musso tells us, “I mean there’s not a lot of reasons why a girl would just bolt from the room like that.” “And sometimes you can just see it in a girl’s eyes that she has to go,” the sexy cheerleading coach points out, “And if that wasn’t enough, the stiff-legged, butt-clenched walk is a dead giveaway as to specifically what a girl’s gotta do.” “And judging by what happened next, Jennifer obviously had to do that REALLY bad.”

Looking over at Jennifer, the tall sophomore beauty nods her head sheepishly, thereby confirming what happened. “I suddenly realized that I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in until breakfast was over,” she tells us, “So I got up and made a mad dash to the girls’ room.” “But you didn’t make it in time?” I ask her. “No sir,” she tells me, fighting back tears again, “It just started coming out in my pants before I could get to the bathroom.” “As Coach Musso said before, I did manage to do quite a bit in the toilet,” Jennifer notes, “But unfortunately a lot of it also came out in my panties before I could get there.” “All in all, I’d say that was quite a large bowel movement,” Coach Musso chimes in, “Between what she did in her panties and what she managed to save for the toilet, it was quite a load.” “Mine are usually kind of like that,” the girl notes, “When I go it usually is quite a lot just like it was that day.” “I’m just saying that you were lucky it wasn’t all in your pants,” Coach Musso points out, “You’d have had quite a mess to deal with then.” Coach Musso also credits the girl -- and in doing so, notes for the record --- for how well she dealt with her accident afterwards. “She went to the girls’ room immediately afterwards,” the sexy, spandex-clad coach reports, “And not only did she do the rest in the toilet but she immediately went about cleaning up the mess.” “She promptly took care of wiping herself from the mess and she thoroughly cleaned out her messy panties,” the coach tells us, “And she managed to do all that without getting any of the mess on the toilet seat or clogging the toilet.” “She took responsibility for herself and didn’t try to make excuses for what she did, either,” Coach Musso reports further, “And she got herself clean panties and got ready for the next cheerleading session without being late.” “If she weren’t already getting no punishment as a first offender, I’d be recommending a lenient punishment now,” she adds. Jennifer finally looks a bit calmed down and mouths a “thank you” to her coach for that.

As for me, I accept Coach Musso’s characterization and Jennifer’s shame and remorse. But I’m still a bit puzzled. As noted, she went through her entire freshman year without a single accident. Her only toilet violations last year being twice improperly squatting (she left the toilet seat down) over the toilet to urinate and once improperly lining the toilet seat with toilet paper to defecate. “You waited too long to go?” I ask the pretty cheerleader and basketball player, “I understand that accidents can happen and I don’t want to belabor the point, but I have to wonder why you were even waiting at all.” “I mean your lack of any previous accidents would certainly indicate your being quite responsible in handling your bodily functions in school,” I point out, “One would think you’d be in the habit of just going to the bathroom when you need to -- One would think you’d wouldn’t be waiting at all when you needed to go.”

But Jennifer, again fighting back tears tells us that it’s not what it seems. She tells us that she actually does have serious issues with using public bathrooms. “I mean, I’m alright with peeing -- that’s never been an issue for me,” the sophomore beauty explains, “But when it comes to the other it’s really a problem for me when I’m away from home and I have to go.” “I don’t know what it is, sir -- I just don’t like to go #2 anyplace but home,” she tells me. “I guess it’s a privacy thing more than anything else,” Jennifer explains further, “Even in a stall with a door and a lock, it’s just not as much privacy as my bathroom at home.” This is quite a surprising revelation given that she went her entire freshmen year without a single panty-soiling violation. Of course, I ask her about that.

Shaking her head, the humble and articulate beauty tells me that she’s just been lucky. “I’ve just been lucky, I guess,” she explains, “I don’t usually have to go at school and when I do I can usually hold it in until I get home.” “I always take the time to really sit on the toilet at home every morning before I come to school,” she explains further, “Somehow I always manage to go at home before I come to school.” “I guess I’m just lucky that way,” she reiterates. “And like I said, I rarely have to go again at school,” Jennifer continues, “And if I do it’s usually not too bad and I can wait until I get home.” She tells us that only once last year did she “make” in the girls’ room here at school. “And that was the time I got in trouble for putting too much toilet paper down on the seat,” she then points out. “I don’t know what it is, sir -- but somehow I really don’t mind so much sitting down on the toilet seat when I pee,” she tells me, shrugging her shoulders, “But I really didn’t want to sit down on the seat to make.” “I don’t know, either,” Mrs. Crabtree, a TVPC member, chimes in, “Maybe it’s because you’re usually on the seat longer when you have to do more than just urinate.” Jennifer just shrugs her shoulders again.

While I certainly appreciate her honesty in explaining her toileting issues, her situation is actually quite problematic -- especially for a girl that decided to join the cheerleading squad this year. Again, I ask her about that. “What did you think was going to happen being away at cheerleading camp for a week?” I question her, “I mean you had to know that you weren’t going to be able to go home everyday to use your own bathroom and I really hope that you weren’t planning on just holding it in all week.”

Jennifer nods her head that she understands my point. “Yeah -- I obviously knew I was going to have to use the bathroom there,” she acknowledges, “And obviously for more than just to pee.” “I had prepared myself for that,” she says. She then explains that her usual pattern of going first thing in the morning is normally a good thing, but it was a real problem for her at cheerleading camp. She tells us that first thing in the morning was when the dorm bathroom was the most crowded. “Like I said before, I knew I was going to have to do it in the dorm bathroom and I was prepared for that,” she explains further, “It was just hard for me to do that with just about everyone else on the squad in the bathroom at the same time.” “What I was doing was waiting and not going first thing in the morning,” she explains, “I mean, I peed, of course, but I just didn’t make.” “I then went back after breakfast -- I snuck back up to the girls’ room on our floor -- and I would make then,” she tells us, “That wasn’t so bad because no one else was in there at the time.” She tells us that she managed to take care of it that way for the first 3 mornings at camp but then something went wrong. “I guess I had to go worse that one day,” she acknowledges, “I guess I just waited too long and it started coming out at breakfast.” “I just ran to the girls’ room, but at this point it was just too late,” she says, tears of shame flowing again, “There was a whole bunch of it in my panties before I could get back to the girls’ room.”

Hearing the girl’s story, Coach Musso is concerned as well. She explains to the girl that as a cheerleader she may find herself needing a bowel movement at halftime of a game when the girls’ room is even more crowded than it was at cheerleading camp. “And even when it’s not halftime, the bathroom facilities at our games are oftentimes quite crowded,” Coach Musso notes, “If you’re going to have trouble using such facilities this season, we’re going to have some problems.” “And those would be accidents while representing the school,” Coach Musso points out, “That means a lot more punishment than just an accident that happens in school.”

But Jennifer assures Coach Musso that she’s not going to have another accident. “You don’t have to worry about that, Ma’am,” she tells her coach, “I’m over my public bathroom issues now.” “Well, maybe I’m not exactly OVER my issues,” she says. “I still hate it when I have to go someplace away from home,” Jennifer clarifies, “But I promise you that there’s not going to be any more accidents.” “If I have to go at a game or wherever, I’ll just deal with it,” she assures her coach, “I may not like it, but anything is better than having another accident in my pants.” “I don’t care what the bathroom is like -- I don’t care how many other people are around,” she says, “Anything is better than going in my pants again.” Jennifer then points out that she managed to handle it properly for the rest of cheerleading camp. “I went in the toilet there everyday after that,” she tells Coach Musso. “And I went when I had to go -- I wasn’t going to risk having another accident by holding it in too long,” she explains, “I didn’t like going in the morning when everyone else was in there, but still it was better than going in my pants.” “If I have to go whenever, wherever, I’ll just deal with it,” she reiterates, “I’ll do what I have to do -- Anything is better than going in my pants again.” Coach Musso nods her head indicating that she is satisfied with the girl’s explanation as am I.

It being her first offense with no other violations, she is officially given a warning and dismissed with no additional punishment.

Our final panty-soiling case from cheerleading camp concerns a senior named Paisley. This blonde beauty is accused of soiling her panties during an afternoon practice session. Unlike our first 2 cases where it was only a first offense for each girl, Paisley has a prior panty-soiling from summer school earlier this summer. Consequently, as a second offense she is not entitled to be let off with just a warning for this one. Additionally, Coach Musso has charged her with having a particularly severe accident. Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that an unusually severe accident -- especially of the soiling variety -- will usually bring the girl an enhanced punishment.

Paisley is a sweet and likable girl -- and obviously quite nice to look at -- but she is known as a bit of a ditz. She raises more than a few eyebrows in the committee room when she pleads “Not Guilty” to the offense. And no one is more surprised by that than Coach Musso herself. “Oh Come On, Paisley!” the sexy Cheerleading Coach exclaims. “You did it right at a practice session,” she tells the girl, “the whole squad saw that you had a big mess in your pants.” Paisley, initially puzzled by her coach’s reaction, then clarifies. “No, No, No!” she says, shaking her head, “That’s not what I meant.” “Obviously, I did the mess -- Obviously, I did have the accident,” the senior blonde beauty then explains, “I wish I could say that I didn’t, but obviously I did.” “I just mean that I shouldn’t get charged extra for it being a bad mess,” she clarifies, “I did have an accident but I just mean the mess wasn’t all that bad.” I thank her for making that clear. Still, that assertion is one that her fellow cheerleaders find hard to believe.

“Oh Come On!” exclaims Angela, an outspoken blonde-haired sophomore, “That load was huge.” “You were lucky that the load didn’t split your pants,” she tells Paisley, “You were lucky you were wearing sweatpants instead of shorts.” “You were more than lucky,” Darcy, another pretty blonde, chimes in, “It was more like a miracle that thing didn’t split your pants.” “I’ve never seen a bigger load in a girl’s pants in all my life,” she adds. The comment draws more than a few giggles from the assembled crowd and I have to gently use my gavel to quiet it down. “Really, Paisley,” Coach Musso chimes in, a bit more reserved and circumspect, “Look, I really don’t mean to embarrass you further but that was quite a load that you did.” “I really was afraid that it was going to split your pants if it got any bigger,” the sexy Cheerleading Coach tells her, “I’m surprised that your panties did manage to hold a load like that.” “I don’t know how you can deny that this was a very large accident,” she questions the sweet but ditzy blonde, “I’m quite frankly surprised that a girl your size is even capable of producing a load like that.”

Paisley then tells the cheerleading coach that she was constipated and hadn’t gone for 3 days. “I was really backed up so I drank a lot of orange juice that morning,” she explains, “I guess that and working out and all really got things going.” “I was trying to wait until the end of the practice session -- I thought I could wait,” she explains further, “I guess I had to go a lot worse than I thought.” “I mean you’re always telling us that we should go at breaks,” Paisley tells her coach, “You said we should get used to trying to wait until halftime or when the game is over.”

Looking over at Coach Musso, I can tell she’s a bit put off by that last comment. Given the girl’s gentle tone I really don’t think she intended to blame her accident on the coach, but still Coach Musso feels compelled to clarify things. “I didn’t mean that you should hold it in to the point of having an accident,” Coach Musso tells her, “That obviously wasn’t what I meant.” “Obviously, you should go to the girls’ room when you need to,” the coach tells her, “Obviously, I’d rather you go during practice or even a game than wait and go in your pants.” Well, maybe that wasn’t so obvious to Paisley. Coach Musso is left just shaking her head. “I just meant that you should wait until a break IF YOU CAN,” Coach Musso explains, “I certainly didn’t mean that you should wait when you obviously had to go so bad.” “Obviously, if it’s an emergency, you need to go to the girls’ room immediately and take care of your business,” she tells the girl, “Obviously, you do what you need to do to avoid having an accident.”

Getting back to the issue at hand -- that being the severity of the girl’s panty-soiling accident -- Paisley argues that she shouldn’t be punished extra for it. “I guess the load was kind of a big one in my pants,” she says, “But it wasn’t like the mess itself was a bad one.” “I mean, I know it was a lot in my pants,” she argues, “But it really wasn’t like it was smeared and messy or anything like that.” Her point apparently is that as big as her bowel movement was, it was quite solid and didn’t make much of a mess in her panties at all. “I know you’re all saying that it was like it was going to split my pants and all,” Paisley continues, “But it was all hard and just stayed in my panties like that.” “When I finally did get to the girls’ room, it was just a matter of dumping it out into the toilet,” she explains, “I mean, it was a lot, but it all came out of my panties really easily.” “I mean, I just had to drop it into the toilet -- I really didn’t have to clean my panties at all,” she reiterates, “And it really wasn’t much worse wiping myself than if it had just been a regular bowel movement in the toilet.”

I do get her point -- the bowel movement was big and hard but not soft and sticky -- and she argued it with surprising eloquence. But I’m not sure I buy her whole story. “Really?” I ask her. “Well, I did have to clean my panties a little,” she admits, “I mean, the load did make a little bit of a mess in my panties.” “And yourself?” I ask her. She then admits that even with the bowel movement being as solid as it was, it still took more wiping to clean herself after the accident than it takes for a regular bowel movement in the toilet.

Hers is an interesting argument and I tell her so, but I have to side with Coach Musso on this one. “The sheer volume of fecal matter in your panties does make this a more severe accident,” I explain and note for the record, “And that, of course, merits additional punishment. “I will take into consideration that it wasn’t particularly messy,” I also note, “But I think you already got the benefit of that with not having much of a clean-up to do.” “I’m not about to give you the benefit of a lesser punishment when you’ve already had the benefit of a relatively easy clean-up job,” I explain.

Still, it’s only her second offense of the school year and there’s no reason to be unduly severe with her. Accordingly, she’ll have to write, “I will not soil my panties in school or at cheerleading events again” 250 times and serve 3 hours of detention. She’ll also have to serve a week of toilet sitting during her study hall period -- the period, of course, to be determined when she gets her schedule in September. “I could have punished you worse for this,” I tell her, “I better not hear of another load in your panties like this one again.”

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Lyla, a feisty senior beauty is charged not only with laving a toilet unflushed but leaving it unflushed on purpose. Leaving it unflushed on purpose is, of course, a more serious violation than simply forgetting to flush. “And this was a bowel movement that you left in the toilet?” I ask her. She nods her head “yes.” Leaving a bowel movement unflushed is, of course, more serious than leaving it unflushed after merely urinating. Lyla, a dark-haired blonde, has been a popular fixture under those FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS as a member of cheerleader squad since she was a freshman. But she’s quite outspoken and can be argumentative at times. Still, I’m quite surprised by this kind of behavior from the senior. I glare over at her and Coach Musso demanding an explanation.

Apparently, it was some type of revenge thing,” Coach Musso tells me, “Apparently Lyla was trying to get back at some girl from another school who was also at the camp.” “Apparently, Lyla and this other girl had some sort of dispute the prior day,” the coach continues, “And our little angel unfortunately decided to visit their floor in the dorm and leave a little surprise in the toilet for her.” The Violation Report filed by Coach Musso also indicates that Lyla left a note making it clear who the bowel movement was left for. “It was her birthday,” the senior beauty then chimes in, giggling, “I was just giving her a birthday present.” Naturally, her lackadaisical attitude annoys me. “Look at my face, young lady,” I angrily tell her, “Do you see anything on my face resembling a smile?” “Do you see anything on my face telling you that I think this is funny?” I ask her, raising my voice in anger, “And if you know what is good for you, I suggest that you not treat it as funny, either.”

Lyla, suddenly, no doubt taking a cue from me, begins to take this more seriously. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I guess it was kind of a stupid thing to do.” “Well, I’m not really sure what you were trying to accomplish,” Coach Musso tells her in a more conciliatory tone, “I’m not really sure what the point was of leaving your bowel movement sitting in the toilet for her.” Lyla then tells us that she and the other girl had a bit of a run-in in the girls’ room near the auditorium the previous night after dinner. “We were both in there for doing our #2s and she was in there ahead of me,” she explains, “I used the same stall right after her and she not only left a bunch of skidmarks in the toilet bowl but she used the last of the toilet paper.” “And she never told me that there was no toilet paper left!” Lyla explains further, in a decidedly angrier tone, “So after I went I’m stuck in there on the toilet with a messy behind and nothing to wipe with.” “And it was a messy one, too, sir,” the senior blonde points out, “Definitely not one of those where I could just pull up my pants and worry about wiping myself later.” “So it was HER fault that you didn’t check for toilet paper first before you sat down and did your business?” Coach Musso asks her, a bit of sarcasm in her voice, “And do you really think that the other girl did that on purpose? -- That she used the last bit of toilet paper just so you’d get stuck with none?” Lyla explains that she usually does check but this particular time she was in a bit of a hurry and just sat down and went without checking for toilet paper first. “I still think she should have told me -- I think she should have warned me first,” she says, “I know that if it were me, I would have told her that there was no toilet paper left.”

Continuing, the girl also recounts that after she found herself on the toilet with nothing to wipe with, that other girl wouldn’t help her out. “I called out to her that I needed toilet paper -- I asked her to bring me some,” Lyla explains, “And not only wouldn’t she bring me any but she just laughed at me.” “She laughed and joked that next time, I should check for toilet paper first!” the senior beauty explains further, with increased anger in her voice, “She just laughed and walked out, leaving me sitting there on the toilet with nothing to wipe myself with.” “And, as I said before, it wasn’t one of those where I could just pull up my panties like that,” Lyla reiterates, “I had to waddle out of there with my pants down looking for toilet paper.” She also tells us that it was then that a bunch of girls came into the bathroom and saw her with her pants down waddling into an open stall. “That was embarrassing,” she adds, “They were all laughing at me, too.”

Well, I suppose that the girl could have helped you,” Coach Musso acknowledges, somewhat sympathetically, “I suppose there’s no reason why she couldn’t just pass you some toilet paper under the stall.” “But it still OBVIOUSLY doesn’t excuse what you did!” the sexy, spandex-clad Cheerleading Coach tells her. I couldn’t agree with Coach Musso more and I tell Lyla so. “I don’t know what it is that you hopped to accomplish, young lady,” I tell her, repeating Coach Musso‘s apt point, “But the only thing you did accomplish was to further embarrass yourself and your whole squad.” “I was just angry, sir and ma’am,” she tells me and her coach apologetically, “I was just trying to get some measure of revenge.” She acknowledges that when she had to go the next day, she snuck into the girls’ room on the floor of the dorm where that other girl and her cheerleading mates were staying. “I found out it was also the girl’s birthday,” she explains, “So I decided to leave her a present.” The Violation Report, filed by Coach Musso, also notes that Lyla left a message -- written on a piece of cardboard and left propped up on the toilet -- wishing the girl a happy birthday. “Disgraceful!” Coach Musso glares at the senior beauty, “Disgusting!” “How could you do something like that?” she asks rhetorically. “Well, at least I left it IN the toilet,” our feisty cheerleader then argues matter-of-factly, “She’s lucky I didn’t leave it on the floor for her.” Needless to say, her lackadaisical attitude toward all this again angers me. “No Lyla!” I angrily tell her, “It’s YOU who are lucky you didn’t mess on the floor.” “Had you done that you’d most certainly be spending considerable time on toilet suspension,” I tell her, anger evident in my voice, “And you’d be scrubbing pretty much every toilet in the whole school.” At this point, I think she gets that it’s best she didn’t do that.

But even with her doing it in the toilet, it doesn’t mean she’ll be getting off easy. “Obviously, leaving the toilet unflushed on purpose is more serious than just forgetting to flush,” I point out to her, “And even though this isn’t actually a violation while representing the school, the fact that you did embarrass our school and your cheerleading squad will certainly be reflected in your punishment.” Accordingly, I sentence the blonde-haired beauty to write, “I will not leave the toilet unflushed in school or at cheerleading camp again” 1,000 times. Additionally, I sentence her to 5 hours detention cleaning school bathrooms. The usually outspoken senior stands shocked at the severity of her punishment. She’s apparently learned her lesson against arguing that her violation wasn’t a big deal, so instead she argues against the severity of her punishment. Specifically, she questions the imposition of bathroom cleaning punishment. She points out that bathroom cleaning is typically only assigned if the girl messes up the bathroom in some way. “I can understand you giving me detention -- I guess I deserve that,” Lyla acknowledges, “But shouldn’t that just be regular detention.” “I know what I did was kind of disgusting,” she acknowledges further, “But really all they had to do was flush it down the toilet afterwards.” “I didn’t really do anything to make a mess in the bathroom,” she argues, “I mean, if I had gone on the floor, obviously I’d deserve cleaning punishment, but not just for this.”

But I, of course, disagree with her argument. “What effect do you think it has when girls find toilets unflushed?” I ask her, “Do you think that makes the toilets more pleasant to use?” The usually outspoken Lyla stands there stone-faced but I think she gets my point. “Or do you think it makes the bathroom more UNpleasant to use?” I question her. It was intended largely as a rhetorical question but she answers it anyway -- acknowledging that unflushed toilets do contribute negatively to the bathroom environment. “Obviously, it isn’t quite as bad as if you’d made a mess on the floor,” I point out, “But then again, your punishment is one WEEK of bathroom cleaning after school rather than an entire month.” “Yes, sir,” she says as she surely gets my point and resigns herself to having to clean some of our toilets as punishment for this.

Staying on the subject of bowel movements, I next call the case -- or rather, 2 cases -- of a girl named Betty. Her fellow cheerleaders giggle a bit as the pretty and popular sophomore takes the podium. I note that her boyfriend ARCHIE is here in the spectators’ section -- apparently to give Betty some moral support. Prominent among those giggling at the girl’s charges is Paisley. “Hey, at least I did mine in the toilet,” Betty comments -- a comment primarily directed at Paisley. Betty is charged with TWICE clogging the toilet at cheerleader camp. The first incident clogging it with her bowel movement and toilet paper in the girls’ room near the auditorium after dinner one night. The second incident was just with the bowel movement itself and in the girls’ room on their dorm floor first thing in the morning.

Betty is a good-natured girl and she’s obviously taking this with some sense of humor, but she’s also quite embarrassed -- especially that it happened twice. Coach Musso tries to allay that embarrassment. “It happens sometimes,” the sexy, spandex-clad Cheerleading Coach tells her, “I’ve clogged a good many toilets myself.” But she‘s amazed at what this modest-sized cheerleader has been able to produce in the toilet. “I’m not sure what you’ve been eating, girl, but I’ve never had a bowel movement the size of what you did this past week,” the coach says with a smile, “And you did it TWICE!” “I guess it is kind of embarrassing to clog a toilet, but you need to just take it in stride,” the coach suggests, “Like you said, it’s certainly a lot better than doing it in your pants.” I echo what her coach is telling her. “Obviously, there’s no indication that you clogged either toilet on purpose,” I tell the girl, “Accordingly, neither of these is considered a serious offense.” “I, too, wonder what you’ve been eating to produce bowel movements so large,” I note with a sense of humor, “But obviously big bowel movements happen sometimes and we really can’t blame you too much when one of them -- or in this case, TWO of them -- clog the toilet.”

Betty, however, just shakes her head. “I think it was the toilets there,” she says, “I think the toilets there were defective or something.” “I only normally go like every other day -- I normally do have bowel movements that are kind of large,” she then explains, “But I’ve never really had issues clogging toilets before.” “I mean, I’ve clogged the toilet at home a few times but those kind of toilets have a weak flush,” she notes, “I’ve never clogged the kind of power flush toilets like we have here at school.” “Look, I know both of those bowel movements were really big ones,” the easy-going sophomore blonde further acknowledges, “But those toilets really should have been able to handle that without getting clogged.”

Her comment draws considerable laughter from her cheerleading teammates. “No way, Betty,” Darcy, a fellow cheerleader, laughs, “No way was ANY toilet going to flush that thing.” “I mean, I don’t know about the one you did in the girls’ room downstairs,” Darcy clarifies, “But the one you did in the girls’ room in the dorm just wasn’t going to go down ANY toilet.” “No way, Betty,” Libby, another cheerleader, chimes in, “That was the biggest bowel movement I’ve ever seen.” “I mean total quantity maybe not, but no way have I ever seen one piece like the one you did.” “I’m sorry, Betty,” Coach Musso then interjects, shaking her head, “There’s no way that EITHER of those two you did were going down the toilet.” “The toilets there all had pretty powerful flushes, but certain things are simply beyond the call of duty,” she says with a laugh, “You can’t really blame any toilet for not being able to handle what you dished out last week.” Hearing that brings more than a few giggles from the assembled crowd. “Quite frankly, I’ve clogged a few toilets here at school myself,” Coach Musso admits, “And mine weren’t even close to either of those you did at cheerleading camp.”

“But that’s not to say that it’s really your fault, either,” Coach Musso then tells her, although I think the comment was more for my benefit than hers. “A girl really can’t control the size of the bowel movements she has,” the sexy cheerleading coach continues, “And that’s why these aren’t serious violations at all.” “Obviously, it’s so much better that you did these in the toilet instead of your pants,” she adds.

Looking over the Violation Report on the first incident -- the toilet clogging in the girls’ room downstairs by the auditorium -- I note that the clog was done with a combination of her large bowel movement and toilet paper. “Well, I did the bowel movement and then I wiped myself,” Betty explains. “That’s usually the way I handle things,” she says, with a smile, “That’s pretty much the way I’ve been handling it since I was about 3 or 4.” Of course, the members of the TVPC smile back. Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that clogging with a bowel movement and toilet paper together constitutes a “Category #2” clogging. A “Category #2” is considered slightly more serious than a “Category #1” clogging. “I actually only had to wipe myself twice -- it was a pretty hard bowel movement,” the sophomore beauty tells us, “It was really the size of the bowel movement that clogged the toilet rather than the toilet paper.” Nevertheless, since toilet paper was clearly involved, under TVPC rules it does count as a “Category #2” clogging.

Looking over the Violation Report on the second incident -- the one in the dorm girls’ room two mornings later -- I note that this was done exclusively with her bowel movement. This is a “Category #1” clogging and the least serious of the many ways that a girl can clog a toilet. “It hurt coming out,” Betty explains, “It was really hard and it was really a struggle pushing it out of me.” “Obviously, when I then saw it in the toilet, I knew there was a good chance it was going to clog,” she explains further, “So I figured I’d try to flush it first before worrying about wiping myself.” “I knew that if it had any chance of going down, it didn’t need any toilet paper trying to go down with it,” she adds.
“Well, obviously, you did the right thing there,” I commend her, “Girls are always encouraged that when they have a particularly large bowel movement to flush the bowel movement first.” “Unfortunately, it did clog anyway,” I point out, “But since you did all you could do NOT to clog it, you saved yourself some punishment.” “This is what we call a ‘Category #1’ clog -- clogging the toilet with a bowel movement only,” I explain to her, “Since a girl has very little control over the size of her bowel movements, it’s the least punishment of any type of toilet clogging.” “Thank you, sir,” she acknowledges, nodding her head that she understands. “Thank you for handling it as well as you could have,” Coach Musso chimes in.

Betty also tells us that after the toilet clogged, she still had to wipe herself. But again -- just as she’s supposed to do -- saved her toilet paper rather than adding it to the clog. “I actually had to wipe myself three times this time,” she explains, “And that includes one wipe to dry myself from my morning pee.” “It was kind of embarrassing to have to come out of the stall with toilet paper in my hand,” she acknowledges, “She then, of course, had to go into another stall to deposit her toilet paper in the toilet and flush it down.” She reiterates -- albeit half-heartedly -- her claim that the toilets there were “defective.” She explains that she only had one bowel movement that entire week at cheerleading camp that she was able to flush down the toilet without incident. “I clogged the toilet twice and I did one in a port-o-potty while we were on that fitness / team-building hike that we did.” She does acknowledge, though, that her first bowel movement after she got home from cheerleading camp also clogged the toilet. “But that was only my bathroom at home,” she says, “And I know that toilet has a really weak flush.” What she does with her bowel movements at home is, of course, no concern to the TVPC.

For punishment for each toilet clogging violation, I sentence her to 1 hour of detention and to write “I will not clog the toilet in school or at cheerleading camp” 150 times. “Hopefully, you’ll have better luck with the toilets here at school or in your travels during cheerleading season,” I tell her.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Moving on with our agenda of toilet violations, we see that bowel movements weren’t the only bodily function giving our cheerleaders a problem at cheerleading camp. For the next two matters before the TVPC, we have girls charged with cases of “Improper Urination.” Since these cases are very different, I decide to deal with them separately.

For the first such matter before the TVPC this afternoon, I call Angela, a sophomore blonde and a real AMERICAN BEAUTY. She stands accused for popping a squat and urinating in the bushes during the fitness / team building hike that the cheerleaders went on one day during the camp. Angela not only pleads “Not Guilty” but is absolutely incredulous that these charges would even be brought. “I thought we were supposed to go in the bushes when we needed to,” the sophomore beauty says, “Coach Cooke even made us practice doing that last season.” Coach Cooke is coach of our softball team in the spring. “Coach Cooke said it was a valuable skill that we needed to learn,” Angela argues, “She said we don’t always have bathroom facilities available at softball games and practices but we still have to be able to handle our business when we need to.”

“So what you’re saying, Angela, is that you actually did do it?” I ask her, “You actually did urinate in the bushes?” Angela readily admits that she did. “I had to pee so I just went off into the bushes and popped a squat,” she says. But the sexy blonde sophomore just as steadfastly maintains that she did nothing wrong. Digging into the details of this incident, we find that it took place during a break in the hike. “They had a kind of picnic area at about the halfway point in the hike,” Coach Musso explains, “We took a break there for a while so girls could rest, get hydrated, and take care of what they needed to do.” “Well, I did need to do something and I took care of it,” Angela interrupts, “I still don’t know what the big deal it.” “I’m sorry but I do know how to pee outside,” she continues sarcastically, “This whole thing is just ridiculous.” “I’ve always thought that knowing how to pee outside was a good thing,” she argues, “It’s saved me from wetting my pants on numerous occasions.

Coach Musso is more than a little annoyed at the girls’ sarcasm. “You’re leaving out one important detail,” she admonishes the girl. “You make it sound like it was either squat in the bushes or wet your pants,” the sexy coach tells her, a tone of anger evident in her voice, “You forgot to mention that they actually had a bathroom there.” “Well, a port-o-potty,” Angela interrupts again. “A BATHROOM!” Coach Musso ANGRILY answers back. “A port-o-potty is a bathroom,” Coach Musso explains, “It was there so we wouldn’t have to squat in the bushes to go to the bathroom.” “Your coach is correct,” I then chime in, “It’s all well and good that you are able to relieve yourself in the bushes -- that is indeed an important skill to have.” “But going in the bushes should only be used as a last resort,” I explain to her, “You don’t go in the bushes when there’s a more suitable bathroom available.”

The not shy Angela shakes her head in frustration. She obviously understands but she quite obviously disagrees. “I’m sorry but I just don’t see what the big deal is,” she argues some more, “I had to pee and I peed.” “That port-o-potty REEKED!” she tells us in an exaggerated tone, “At least I didn’t have to hold my breath when I was squatting in the woods.” “And what difference did it make anyway,” she continues, “Not only did I find a secluded spot away from everyone else but it was all girls in our group anyway.” “I just don’t see what the issue is,” she reiterates.

“The issue is that you’re supposed to do your bodily functions in a toilet!” Coach Musso answers back, her own frustration with the sophomore beauty evident, “The issue is that you’re only supposed to go outside if there’s no toilet available -- You’re only supposed to do that as a last resort.” “Whether it’s a regular toilet or a smelly port-o-potty, it doesn’t make a difference,” she lectures Angela, “If there’s a toilet available, that’s what you use -- You don’t go outside in the bushes.” “I used that port-o-potty myself,” Coach Musso points out, “Betty even had a bowel movement in there.” “And what did you use to wipe yourself?” the coach then asks her. The AMERICAN BEAUTY then admits that she simply did without. “I just drip-dried,” she says. The comment draws a chorus of “EWWW!” from her fellow cheerleaders.

I use my gavel to restore order and get us back to the issue at hand. “This is not a debate,” I tell the outspoken, argumentative sophomore, “It isn’t important whether you agree with our toilet rules or not.” “What is important is that you UNDERSTAND the rules,” I explain, “What’s important is that you know when it’s appropriate to go to the bathroom outside and when it’s not.” Angela, nodding her head, assures me that she does. “Do you?” Coach Musso questions her skeptically, “I don’t expect to hear of another incident like this -- especially not while representing the school at a game.” “Yes, Ma’am,” Angela answers respectfully, “I understand that I should always use a toilet -- even a port-o-potty -- rather than go outside in the bushes or something like that.”

I and the other members of the TVPC are convinced that Angela does understand but we are in agreement that a stern lesson is in order. “Intentionally urinating in an inappropriate place is no small matter,” I lecture her, “While a toilet suspension is clearly not necessary under these circumstances, one COULD be imposed under the rules.” I pause to let that sink in before getting to her actual punishment. In actuality, a toilet suspension would only be imposed if a girl urinates (or defecates) in an inappropriate place such as the floor, or a garbage can or someplace like that. Instead, I sentence the pretty blonde to a week of toilet sitting detention and writing 250 times, “I will not urinate outside unless absolutely necessary again.” She’ll also have to write a 1,000 word essay on “Appropriate Way To Handle My Bodily Functions.” I can see by the look on her face that she’s not pleased with her punishment -- especially, having to serve her detention sitting on the toilet. “Well, if you’d have sat on the toilet at the picnic area like you were supposed to, this wouldn’t be an issue now,” I remind her, “So now you’ll have a few hours sitting on the toilet to think about that.”

Our next case -- as noted, a very different case from our previous one -- is a charge of improperly squatting over the toilet to urinate. Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that TVPC rules do allow girls to squat over the toilet while performing either bodily function. But the rules require that when doing so, they first lift up the toilet seat so it doesn’t get wet or soiled. Lexi, a very pretty but decidedly self-centered senior is accused of squatting and urinating with the toilet seat still down. It’s obviously a lesser charge than actually wetting or messing on the toilet seat, but it’s a toilet violation nonetheless.

Before getting into Lexi’s case, however, I need to clear up some confusion. “I actually have 2 Violation Reports on Lexi,” I note, “I have this one for the squatting violation but I also have one for “Messing on the Toilet Seat.” Messing on the toilet seat -- even unintentionally -- would be a far more serious violation than merely squatting with the toilet seat down. “Am I to understand that Lexi was initially charged with the latter?” I ask Coach Musso, “And now you want to charge her only with the former?” “Yes, Mr. Chairman,” the sexy, spandex-clad coach confirms. “We had initially thought that she had actually messed on the toilet seat,” Coach Musso explains, “The mess on the toilet seat looked very much like one of those where a girl sits down after messing in her panties and we initially thought that Lexi had done that.” Oddly, no charges of “Panty-Soiling” were ever filed against the gorgeous blonde in this incident, but that’s neither here nor there at this point.”

“Lexi, of course, adamantly denied the whole thing,” Coach Musso continues, “And it was, quite frankly, unlike her to be messing in her panties like that.” Looking over, I see the girl nodding her head in agreement with that. “But the circumstantial evidence definitely pointed to her,” Coach Musso explains further, “She was seen coming out of the stall where the messy toilet seat was found.” Lexi looks ready to speak -- no doubt in her defense -- but I put up my hand to stop her. “We’ll get to you in a minute,” I tell her.

Turning back to Coach Musso, I ask the spandex-clad beauty to continue. “Well, as I said, she was seen coming out of the stall where the mess was on the toilet seat,” the coach reiterates, “At this point we were pretty sure it was she who messed on the toilet seat but we weren’t exactly sure how it happened.” “I mean, we thought it came from her sitting down on the seat after messing in her panties, but we weren’t sure,” Coach Musso explains, “We couldn’t be sure it didn’t happen by Lexi squatting over the seat and defecating directly onto it.” “She had actually admitted to squatting with the seat down,” the coach adds, “But she claimed that she only urinated and the mess was already on the seat when she went into the stall.” “And I didn’t do either, did I, Coach Musso?” the pretty blonde-haired cheerleader asks, “I neither messed in my pants nor messed on the seat, did I?” “Well, you didn’t have anything to do with the mess on the toilet seat,” the coach acknowledges, “But you did improperly squat over the toilet seat to pee.” Hearing that, Lexi just gives her Cheerleading Coach a dirty look in answer to that.

Getting back to the matter of the messed toilet seat, though, I direct Coach Musso to continue. She tells us that her subsequent investigation revealed some entirely new information. “The mess on the toilet seat was definitely from a girl sitting down with a messy behind after soiling her panties,” the coach reports, “We subsequently found the messy panties carefully hidden under a pile of paper towels in the garbage can.” The soiled panties had the Bayside HS logo on them,” Coach Musso then explains, much to the amusement of the other girls. The implication, of course, is that it was a girl from Bayside High -- another school at the camp -- who messed in her panties. She then messed on the toilet seat -- presumably when she went into the stall to clean herself up -- and then ditched the soiled panties in the girls’ room garbage can. “They caught the girl who did it -- it was a girl named Kelly,” Lexi adds, with a sort of self-assured, evil smile, “The girl later confessed to doing it when she got confronted about it by their coach.”

“So with this new evidence, you dropped the original charge -- the messing on the toilet seat charge -- against Lexi?” I ask the coach, “And you charged her instead with merely improperly squatting to urinate?” “Yes, Mr. Chairman,” she answers. “I tried to tell you that I didn’t do it,” Lexi interjects, not so much angry, but very much annoyed. She questions why she was even charged with that in the first place. “It’s not like I’ve made a habit of messing in my panties,” the senior beauty asserts, “I haven’t done a #2 in my pants since junior high.” “I mean, how could you even think I would mess in my panties and then mess on the toilet seat, too boot?” she argues, “It’s obviously not something I would do.” Coach Musso seems a bit taken aback by the girl’s attitude and Cheyenne, the cheerleading captain, comes to her coach’s defense. “Oh come off it, already!” Cheyenne tells Lexi, “Stop trying to make it look like you’ve got perfect bathroom habits or something.” “Accidents do happen, you know,” the pretty, blonde-haired captain tells her, “Stop trying to make it sound like you’re immune or something.”

“Not to me, they don’t,” Lexi answers back arrogantly, “Accidents don’t happen when you just go and use the toilet when you need to.” The comment draws the ire of another one of her cheerleading teammates. “Oh Please!” Darcy, a junior, chimes in. “I saw you holding it in the whole way back down the mountain when we went on that hike,” the articulate beauty points out, “Apparently you didn’t want to use that port-o-potty at the rest break when you needed to.” “It looked to me like you were awfully close to having an accident that day,” Darcy continues, “You were in such a rush to get onto a toilet that you didn’t even bother to bolt the stall door.” “And apparently you were in such rush that you didn’t even have time to check for toilet paper first,” she taunts Lexi, “I heard that Caroline had to pass you some under the stall partition while she was in there peeing.” “And lets not forget the two times you actually did wet your pants last year,” Darcy adds, “I know it’s not exactly messing in your panties but as Cheyenne said, you’re not exactly immune from accidents.” I quickly reach for my gavel, but before I can even use it, Lexi defends herself saying that both of those wet pants incidents were cases of teachers not letting her go to the girls’ room when she asked. And the rather conceited cheerleader reiterates that she hasn’t had a #2 accident in her pants since back in junior high.

Finally banging my gavel, I turn back to Coach Musso to address the matter at hand -- specifically, Lexi squatting over the toilet to urinate without first lifting up the toilet seat. “Relax, young lady,” I tell the girl, “As long as you didn’t get the seat wet, it’s not a serious offense.” “But talking back to Coach Musso or the TVPC most certainly is,” I warn her. Coach Musso assures us that Lexi did not urinate on the toilet seat. “But I still can’t believe you’d even use a toilet like that,” the sexy, spandex-clad coach offers, “I can’t believe that when you saw the mess on the toilet seat, you just didn’t go use a different stall.” “I mean, that’s how you ended up getting charged for messing on the toilet seat,” the coach explains, “I mean, what are we supposed to think when we see you using a particular stall and then we find a mess on the toilet seat in that same stall.”

Hearing that, Lexi suddenly seems to understand it a little better. “I guess so,” she tells her cheerleading coach, “I guess I just wasn’t thinking of that.” She tells us that at the time she had to pee kind of bad and was in a bit of a hurry. “We’d just gotten done with practice and I had to go kind of bad,” she explains, “I had been holding it in for a while during practice and I just wanted to get to the girls’ room and pee.” “Yeah, I saw the mess on the toilet seat -- Yeah it was disgusting,” Lexi acknowledges. “But I just wanted to pee and get it over with,” she tells us, “The girls’ room was kind of crowded at the time and I didn’t want to have to wait in line for another stall to open up.” “So I just squatted,” she explains further, “I just squatted and peed that way.” “I mean, I do know how to squat and pee,” she tells us, “I almost always just sit all the way down, but I certainly can squat if I need to.”

“And you left the seat down?” I ask her. “Yes, sir,” she answers me, “I had no desire to touch that filthy toilet seat and lift it.” “Well, I actually sympathize with your situation,” I tell her, “But TVPC rules are quite clear.” “You’re allowed to squat over the toilet if you want to,” I explain, “But you absolutely must lift up the toilet seat first.” Still, it’s not a serious offense and I tell her so -- especially under these circumstances. I then sentence the gorgeous blonde cheerleader to an hour of detention and having to write “I will not squat to urinate without lifting up the toilet seat” 100 times. “That’s it?” she asks, pleasantly surprised, “Just an hour of regular detention and 100 lines?” “That’s it, Lexi,” I tell her with a smile.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

The next matter before this TVPC Special Session this morning is not a violation from Cheerleading Camp but a matter of committee business. For this, I call before the TVPC a raven-haired junior named Libby. As she steps to the podium, I note that -- as expected -- she has some papers in her hand.

This matter goes back to last week when our school doctor -- the very lovely Dr. Cuddy -- was in the HOUSE to conduct athletic physicals for the girls. This was just before the cheerleaders went away for the week at cheerleading camp. Libby, of course, was here at school that day getting her physical along with her cheerleading teammates. Sometime during the course of that day, she apparently needed a bowel movement and didn’t want to do it in either of the available girls’ rooms. Instead -- cognizant of the fact that no boys were there that day as the girls were getting their physicals -- she went and did her business in the boys’ room. But, as faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, girls using the boys’ room is a violation of TVPC rules. In a TVPC session last week -- just before the girls went away to their cheerleading camp -- Libby was properly punished by the TVPC for that toilet violation. Written punishments assigned by the TVPC are typically due in 1 week, although with the TVPC on an irregular schedule over the summer months, there is some flexibility on that. But Libby’s assignments are definitely due today (it’s been more than a week) and if she doesn’t have them, her punishments will be doubled.

As the pretty, but highly jealous junior beauty reaches the podium she holds up some papers which I assume to be her completed punishment. Libby is not really a discipline problem -- I’ve never had any serious issues with her -- but for some reason, she doesn’t seem to get along with Miss Spellman. And that’s really odd since Miss Spellman is one of the most popular teachers among our students. Seeing that she has papers in hand, the TVPC is ready to get down to business. First, she is being asked to hand in her repetitive writing assignment -- specifically, “I will not use the boys’ room again” written 250 times. Libby indicates to me that she has it completed and, as directed, hands the completed punishment to the TVPC clerk. Obviously, writing that wasn’t a picnic, but she takes it in stride. “Well, at least it wasn’t 500 times,” she tells us, “That was really bad.” She had to write 500 times once last year for soiling her panties at a football game -- an accident while representing the school as a cheerleader. Our TVPC clerk looks over the girl’s completed assignment -- filling the front and back of 5 sheets of notebook paper -- and notes that it appears to be complete and in good order. Accordingly, the assignment is accepted.

Next, Libby is being asked to hand in her essay assignment -- specifically, a 1,000 word essay entitled, “Why I Shouldn’t Use The Boys’ Room.” Once again, she indicates to me that she’s finished the assignment and I direct her to hand it over to the TVPC clerk. “That was no picnic, either,” the raven-haired cheerleader tells me, “It was kind of embarrassing having to write about doing my business in the boys’ room like I did.” “Well, hopefully you’ve learned your lesson from that,” I tell her, “Hopefully, you’ll think about that, the next time you consider using the boys’ room instead of the girls’ room.” “Yes sir,” she acknowledges. Once again, our TVPC clerk, having checked over her essay, announces that it appears to be complete and in good order. Accordingly, this assignment is accepted as well.

That taken care of, I note that the girl still has detention to serve -- specifically, detention sitting on the toilet. “I’ll be serving that when Cheerleading practice starts next week,” Libby informs me, “I have to come in and sit on the toilet a half hour before practice and I have to stay and sit a half-hour after practice.” “I have to do that for the first 3 days of practice,” she notes, “That’ll satisfy my 3 hours toilet sitting sentence.”

But before moving on, Libby raises her hand to ask me a question. I, of course, allow her to do so. “Do I really have to serve my time sitting on the toilet in the girls’ room in the lobby?” she asks. Instead, she requests to do her toilet sitting in the girls’ room up here on the 2nd floor or at least one of the girls’ rooms on the 1st Floor. Apparently, she likes those girls’ room better than any of the girls’ rooms downstairs. But that’s pretty much the point and accordingly, I remain firm in adhering to her punishment. “I’ll let you serve your time in the Girls’ Locker Room bathroom if you’d prefer that,” I offer her, “But you’re definitely NOT doing your punishment in any of the girls’ room upstairs.” “Those 2 girls’ room downstairs are the ones you should have used rather than going into the boys’ room,” I explain, “So your punishment will be to do toilet sitting in one of the bathrooms there -- the toilets you should have used in the first place.” Libby lets out an audible groan at hearing that. “The girls’ locker room bathroom is even worse than the one in the hallway,” she tells me, “I’m going to stick with the one in the hallway if I can.” “I thought you would,” I tell her.

Before we adjourn this Special Session of the TVPC, I see that we have one more case to deal with. This is not actually a case from cheerleading camp or even a case directly related to our cheerleading squad. But since the case does involve a member of our cheerleading squad and she is present here in the committee room now, I figure we might as well hear this case now. For this case, I call before the TVPC a quiet and timid junior named Heather M. and judging by the look on her face as she comes forward to the podium, she obviously knows what it’s about.

“Yes, I lied,” she tells us before I can even read the charge against her, “I lied to protect a friend of mine.” “I’m sorry but I did it to protect a friend,” she reiterates, “I know it was wrong but I didn’t want to see my friend get punished -- I really didn’t mean to do any harm.” “Well, obviously you did mean for the TVPC to find your friend ‘Not Guilty’ when your friend was, in fact, guilty,” I sternly tell Heather M., “You lied to protect your friend form being held responsible for what she did, didn’t you?” “Yes, sir,” the blonde beauty tells me, staring down at the floor, “I’m sorry but I just didn’t want to see my friend get in trouble.”

“Well, I can certainly understand you wanting to support your friend,” I tell her somewhat sympathetically, “But, young lady, there is absolutely no excuse for lying to the TVPC. “Yes, sir -- I’m sorry, sir,” she reiterates, obviously remorseful, “I understand all that but it’s just that Courtney sometimes has issues going #2 at school.” Courtney, a fellow junior, is her friend and she appeared before the TVPC last week to answer for her own toilet violations in this matter. Heather M., of course, was at cheerleading camp at the time. “There’s no excuse for girls in high school to be soiling in their panties, either,” I point out to the cheerleader, “And lying about it only makes things worse.” “Courtney needs to be held responsible for her bodily functions -- especially in school,” I tell Heather M., “And that includes accepting the consequences when she goes in her pants.” “Or do you think it’s alright that girls your age do their bowel movements in their pants?” I ask Heather M.. “No sir,” she answers clearly, “We should all be doing them in the toilet -- especially at school.”

We already know much of what happened as Courtney confessed to it while appearing before the TVPC last week. Apparently, the whole story began to unravel as Courtney’s mother discovered the hidden soiled panties in her daughter’s room. But as this is Heather M.’s case, we must get her version of the events. She tells us, as did Courtney last week, that the 2 girls were in summer school together taking a Math class with Miss Spellman. Late in the class one day, Courtney had an accident in her pants. She did, however, manage to make it to the end of class without the accident being detected by Miss Spellman. The problem, though, was that another student saw as it they were leaving. I think she did more in her pants as we were leaving school that day,” Heather M. reports -- a fact that Courtney had left out of her account of the incident.

Of course, it was the next day before Courtney could be confronted about her accident. Regina (their fellow student) reported what she’d seen to Miss Spellman. But by then, of course, Courtney was back in clean panties with the messed panties from the afternoon before having apparently been hidden in her bedroom. Regina then went ahead and filed the panty-soiling charge against Courtney herself. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, teachers and staff members are not the only one who can file toilet violation charges against a girl -- students are free to file charges against fellow students. But without the messy panties themselves or a teacher to corroborate the panty-soiling, the case was difficult to prove.

“And that’s when you came in?” I ask Heather M., “That’s when you and Courtney came up with a lie to tell our committee.” “Yes, sir,” Heather M. confirms, “We rehearsed our story before she had to appear before the TVPC the next afternoon. “And you lied to the TVPC?” I ask her, getting to the gist of the violation. “Yes, sir -- I told you guys that Courtney and I were in the girls’ room together while we had a break from class,” Heather M. officially reports, “And I testified that both of us went to the bathroom both ways.” The implication, of course, was that if Courtney had a bowel movement earlier that day in the toilet, it was unlikely that she’d have messed in her panties less than 2 hours later. “But it wasn‘t true that you both went both ways in the toilet?” I ask Heather M. “No, sir,” she confirms, “I went both ways but Courtney only peed.” “I was pretty sure that Courtney did have to go both ways,” she adds, “But she insisted at the time that she only had to pee.” Obviously, with Heather M. corroborating Courtney’s story of doing a bowel movement in the girls’ room earlier that day, the TVPC found Courtney “Not Guilty” of soiling her panties.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Heather M. says again as she fights back tears, “I’m sorry that I lied.” “Well, you told the truth now,” I tell her, “At least that’s something and I’ll consider that in determining your punishment.” “But lying to the TVPC is not a minor offense,” I also tell her, “And unfortunately for you, I’ll have to consider that as well.” Accordingly, I sentence the pretty but timid cheerleader to 1 week of detention and having to write, “I will not lie to the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee again” 500 times. In hearing this punishment, Heather M. can no longer hold back her tears. “500 times?” she asks, mumbling through the tears. “500 times,” I tell her -- calmly and in no uncertain terms. Taking a deep breath and regaining her composure a bit, she asks if she has to actually write out “Toilet Violations Punishment Committee” 500 times. “I mean, can’t I just write ‘TVPC’ instead of writing it all out like that,” she asks desperately.

Her request is, of course, laughable. “Obviously, you’ll write it out the long way,” I tell her, “It’s a punishment, young lady -- the whole point is that it’s long, tedious, and unpleasant. “Well, we could always have you write some of those sentences on the blackboard in detention,” Mrs. Adler, a member of the TVPC, suggests. Obviously, Heather M. prefers to write them on paper. “You should be happy that you’re just getting regular detention,” I then explain, “Oftentimes those who lie to the TVPC spend their detention time standing in the corner facing the wall with a sign on their back.” Heather M takes a deep breath and, looking glum in spite of her fashionable yellow dress, she begins to accept the fact that her punishment is what it is and I’m not about to change it.

But this whole matter just leaves Mrs. Crabtree shaking her head. “This was just a panty-soiling offense for Courtney,” the committee woman points out, “I mean, I imagine it’s quite embarrassing but it’s not a serious offense at all.” “In fact, this was only a first offense for Courtney,” Mrs. Crabtree continues, “It just would have just been a warning and no actual punishment.” “But now you two have made it worse -- a whole lot worse,” she tells Heather M., “Courtney now gets punished for the accident because she lied about it and you both now have long, tedious punishments to write for lying about it.” Heather M. nods her head that she understands. “I know you’re right, Ma’am,” she tells Mrs. Crabtree, “I know you’re right but it’s hard to just stand by and watch your friend getting punished.”

“But Courtney would not have been punishment -- It was only a first offense,” Mrs. Crabtree points out again, “It was just going to be a warning for her.”

This time, though, Heather M. just shakes her head. “It’s not really Courtney’s first offense,” she tells us, “I mean, it’s her first offense here at school but she also went in her bathing suit at the beach last month.” “That was really a bad one,” Heather M. explains, “It was a big load and a bathing suit can’t really handle a big accident like regular underwear and pants do.” “It was gross but then again, it’s hard to really blame her for going in her pants there,” she explains further, “I mean going in your pants here in school is kind of bad but I can certainly see why she didn’t want to use the bathrooms there at the beach.” “The bathrooms there are always filthy and they smell and the stall doors don’t really lock,” the pretty junior adds, “I’m sure glad I only had to do #1 that day.” Heather M. goes on to tell us, though, that Courtney’s mom was far less sympathetic about the condition of the bathrooms there.” She was furious about Courtney having an accident,” Heather M. reports, “She didn’t care about anything other than the fact that Courtney messed in her bathing suit.” “Courtney not only got yelled at but she got punished for doing the mess,” she points out, “She got grounded and had to do lots of extra chores.” “But mostly she got placed on ’probation’ by her mom,” Heather M. continues, “She was warned that if she had another accident, the punishments were going to be way, way worse.”

Now, it actually begins to make sense why Courtney was so desperate to cover it up and why her friend Heather M was willing to help. “And now, I suppose Courtney is really getting punished?” Mrs. Crabtree asks. “Yes, Ma’am,” she tells Mrs. Crabtree, “When her mom found Courtney’s panties hidden in her bedroom closet, she really flipped out.” “Courtney is grounded for the rest of the summer and then some and her mom is making her wear some kind of toilet-training panties,” Heather M. reports, “And her mom is also making her do chores everyday like cleaning their bathrooms.” “And I assume Courtney also had to clean out those panties -- that couldn’t have been easy,” Mrs. Crabtree speculates, “The mess was probably all dried up and crusty after being hidden in her closet all that time.” But I see Heather M. shaking her head once again. “Actually, cleaning out dry, crusty panties isn’t all that bad,” the normally quite shy cheerleader tells us, “With hot, running water the dried mess easily separates from the panties.” “Cleaning a fresh mess in your panties is a lot worse,” she says, “The mess is usually smeared and sticky and you have to really work to get it out of your panties.”

Heather M.’s seeming expertise on this matter raises a few eyebrows in the committee room. Naturally, I ask her about that. “Well, I’ve certainly cleaned out my share of messy panties,” she answers, “It’s been a while but I used to have accident quite a bit.” “I was kind of shy about bathroom stuff and I really didn‘t like going poop in public bathrooms,” she tells us, “I mean, I still don‘t like to, but I know that sometimes you just have to.” “I remember when my mom started making me clean out my messy panties when I went in them,” she tells us, “One time she even made me stick my hands in the toilet and clean out my messy panties there.” “After that, I decided that I was tired of cleaning out messy panties,” she says, with a bit of a smile, “I decided to have to stick my hands in the toilet to clean out my panties just wasn‘t worth it.” “I decided that it was much less disgusting just to go in the toilet like I was supposed to,” she adds, “But I guess I still have some sympathy for a girl who does have the occasional accident.”

Actually, none of this is really relevant to the matter at hand and I apologize to the committee and those assembled for letting the discussion get so far afoot. Seeing that there is no more business before our Special Session of the TVPC, I bang my gavel to adjourn.

So concludes this SPECIAL SESSION of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 11:42 AM.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Libby's Punishment Essay

Name: Libby

TVPC Punishment Essay

Offense: Using the Boys’ Room (Defecating)

Offense Date: August 7, 2019

Length: 1,000 Words

Due Date: August 19, 2019


Why I Shouldn’t Use The Boys’ Room

I am writing this punishment because I went to the bathroom in the boys’ room at school instead of the girls’ room. Obviously, as a girl, I need to be using the girls’ room instead of the boys’ room. I went to the bathroom both ways in the boys’ room. I didn’t do anything wrong in the boys’ room other than simply using the toilet there, but still it was wrong of me to go in the boys’ room rather than the girls’ room.

I went into one of the stalls and bolted the door shut. I pulled down my pants and my panties and the I sat down on the toilet seat and I did my business in the toilet. As I said, I went to the bathroom both ways. I then took the toilet paper and wiped myself. I had to wipe myself 4 times to get myself clean and I also had to dry my front from peeing. I then pulled up my panties and pants and flushed the toilet. Everything went down the toilet without any problems. I then unbolted the stall door and went to the sink to wash my hands. I then washed and dried my hands and left the boys’ room. As I said, I just used the toilet like we’re supposed to do except for the fact that I did it in the boys’ room instead of the girls’ room. I don’t mean it as an excuse because I knew I wasn’t supposed to be using the boys’ room. But I just went to use the toilet and not to mess up the bathroom or cause any other problems in there. Still, I know that I should be using the girls’ room and I’m sorry that I used the boys’ room instead.

As you know, this was the day we were getting our physicals for cheerleading. And there were other girls’ sports getting their physicals as well. So there were a lot of girls there that day. And there were no boys around, of course, because the boys’ sports have a different day for physicals. They were, of course, using the girls’ locker room for the physicals and also using the girls’ room in the lobby by the gym and locker rooms for girls to give their urine samples for the physicals. But like I said, there a real lot of girls around and no boys.

The thing was that I had to go to the bathroom -- I had to go both ways. I tried to ignore it at first and I tried to hold it in but pretty soon I had to go kind of bad. I was trying to hold it in but soon I began to worry that I was going to have an accident. And I really didn’t want to have an accident -- especially at school while we were getting physical exams for cheerleading. I know I should have done it in the girls’ room -- I know I should have ignored the crowd of other girls there and did it either in the girls’ room in the lobby or the girls’ locker room -- but unfortunately, I didn’t. I think if I had just needed to pee, I would have done it there but it wasn’t just that I needed to pee. I know it’s silly -- I know that everyone poops -- but I still don’t like doing it with other girls around. I mean maybe if there are only few girls and I’m in a private stall with a door but not when the bathrooms are really crowded with other girls like they were that day. I wish I could have gone and done it in a girls’ room in another part of the school, but the hallways were blocked off and I couldn’t get there. The only girls’ rooms available there were the girls’ room in the lobby by the gym and the toilet area of the girls locker room. And, as I said, they were crowded with other girls.

Again, I know that girls are not allowed to use the boys’ room. But at the time, I was thinking that since the girls’ rooms were so crowded and there were no boys around, I could actually get more privacy by using the boys’ room. I could go into a stall and have the whole boys’ room to myself rather than have a whole bunch of other girls in the bathroom with me while I did my business. I really didn’t mean any harm by using the boys’ room. I was just trying to find a more private place to go poop. I really had to go bad at this point and I really didn’t want to poop in my pants. I know it’s not an excuse for using the boys’ room but I just didn’t want to poop in my pants. Obviously, the right thing to do would have been to just do it in the girls’ room but I really just didn’t want to go in there and go poop with so many other girls around. And, as I said, I really didn’t want to poop in my pants, either.

I pooped my panties twice in school last year and once at a football game. I hated how it felt to have that poop in my pants and it was really embarrassing, too. And that’s not even considering the punishment that I had to do. I just wanted to get it done in the toilet so I wouldn’t have to go through having an accident in my pants again. But as I said before, I could have avoided pooping my pants by using the girls’ room instead of the boys’ room and that’s exactly what I should have done.

I am writing this punishment essay to say that I am very sorry for using the boys’ room last week. I promise that I will never do it again. In the future, I will always use the girls’ room like I’m supposed to.

[spandexman]

Thank you Arnold

Grace is the main reason I rad your reports and she never disappoints me. Thank you.

[k_r]

That's another brilliant report. Thank you!

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Thank you both for your kind words. It's good to know my TVPC stories are appreciated.