Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of Tuesday, November 12, 2019.

We begin today’s session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) with somewhat of an unusual matter. On one hand it seems like pretty standard case of panty-soiling -- albeit a panty-soiling while representing the school. But it also seems to be a student-brought matter. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, faculty and staff members are not the only ones who can bring a toilet violation case against one of our girls. Another student -- or in this case, two students -- can file a Violation Report with our committee to charge a girl with a toilet violation. Jade, a pretty but conniving junior brunette and Cat, a pretty but ditzy junior blonde are apparently charging one of our cheerleaders -- specifically, a pretty, blonde-haired senior named Lisa -- with soiling her panties at Saturday’s football game.

Lisa is here, of course, and she pleads “Not Guilty” to the charge. In fact, she seems rather annoyed that she’s been charged. “I didn’t go in my panties,” she says, directing a dirty look to her two accusers, “I didn’t go in my pants at the game Saturday or any other time, either.” Likewise, her Cheerleading Coach, Coach Musso is here and she is similarly annoyed. “I thought we dealt with all this Saturday,” Coach Musso argues, also directing an annoyed look toward Jade and Cat. I can only assume that the coach wants herself and Lisa down in the gym for cheerleading practice. “I checked Lisa’s panties at the game Saturday and there was no accident,” Coach Musso then tells the committee, “I don’t understand why Jade and Cat are dredging this up now, 3 days later.” “And I don’t know why IT TAKES TWO of them to file charges,“ Lisa adds, “But either way it isn’t true. As I understand it, Jade and Cat were at the game Saturday (they were manning the concession stand raising money for the school activities fund) and they reported to Coach Musso that Lisa had soiled her panties. But, as Coach Musso stated, she didn’t find any soiled panties when she subsequently checked the pretty cheerleader at the game.

Turning now to Lisa’s two accusers, Jade has a clarification. “We’re not saying it actually happened at the game,” Jade points out, “I mean it did happen on Saturday and it did happen at school but this was all way before the game.” “It’s just that we didn’t get a chance to tall Coach Musso about it until later,” Cat adds. “It wasn’t until the game was starting that we saw Coach Musso,” Jade continues, “But by that time, of course, Lisa had already had her accident.” “NO! -- I DIDN’T!!” Lisa emphatically snaps back. Immediately, I bang my gavel to stop her. I assure the pretty cheerleader that she’ll have a chance to defend herself, but, for now, I’d like to hear from Jade and Cat. Lisa -- typically, soft-spoken and respectful -- quickly apologizes for her outburst.

“She did it at the Pancake Breakfast in the cafeteria before the game,” Jade then explains. The Pancake Breakfast is a big seasonable event at our school. We have one every season in the school cafeteria to help raise money for our sports teams. They are big events that are heavily attended by parents, faculty, and students alike. “I know she had to go that morning at the breakfast and it looked like she had to go kind of bad,” Jade explains further, “And I don’t think she did it in the girls’ room here at school, either.” “I know she didn’t want to go that way in the girls’ room there by the cafeteria,” Cat speculates, “We both heard her asking Mrs. Johns if she could go upstairs to use the girls’ room there instead.” “But Mrs. Johns wouldn’t let her go,” Jade then chimes back in, “She told Lisa to just use the girls’ room there.” “But she didn’t actually go to the bathroom there,” Jade continues, “She just got this kind of desperate look on her face and then shook her head and walked away without even going in there.” “I mean, no one really likes going that way in the girls’ room down there -- especially when it’s crowded like Saturday,” Cat adds, “But I’d still rather do it there any day than do it in my pants.”

“And I wouldn’t do it in my pants, either,” Lisa then answers, a tone of anger and annoyance evident, “Of course, I would rather do it in the toilet -- even there -- than do it in my pants.” I have no reason to doubt that -- it’s certainly not like Lisa has made a habit of going in her pants -- but still, I’m a bit puzzled as to what happened here. Of course, I then ask Lisa if what Jade and Cat are telling me is true. “Are you telling me that you didn’t have to go that morning at the Pancake Breakfast?” I ask the pretty, blonde-haired senior cheerleader, “And, most importantly, are you telling me that you didn’t ask Mrs. Johns for permission to go upstairs to a different girls’ room to do it?” “Well, that much they did get right -- I really did have to go at the breakfast,” Lisa acknowledges. “I really love pancakes, sir,” she tells me, “I really ate a lot at the breakfast and well, …. sir…you know what happens next.”

“But I didn’t go in my pants, sir,” she then argues vehemently, “I most certainly did NOT do it in my pants.” “I went in the toilet like I was supposed to,” Lisa assures us, “I don’t know how those two ever got it into their heads that I didn’t. The articulate senior beauty then takes a moment as she seems to compose her thoughts. “You know it was one thing to accuse me of this on Saturday and tell my coach,” Lisa argues further, as she turns and addresses her two accusers, “But now you know better -- I can’t believe that you’d go and file a toilet violation against me when you know it isn’t true.” She then explains that she was cheering at the game and Coach Musso came up to her at the end of the first quarter. “Coach Musso told me that I needed to go with her to the girls’ room,” Lisa tells us, “Apparently, Jade and Cat had told Coach Musso that I’d done a mess in my panties and now Coach Musso needed to do a panty-inspection on me.” A “panty-inspection,” of course, is when a teacher or staff member checks a girl for an accident. “I had to go with Coach Musso to the girls’ room at the football field,” Lisa explains, again glaring at Jade and Cat, “And I had to hike up my skirt, pull down my slip and panties and let Coach Musso check me.”

“AND I DIDN’T HAVE A MESS IN MY PANTIES!” the normally soft-spoken senior beauty yells at her two accusers. Coach Musso then confirms that Lisa’s panties were not only perfectly clean but completely dry as well. “Whatever she may or may not have had to do on Saturday, she certainly didn‘t do any of it in her panties,” Coach Musso tells us, “And Jade and Cat know that -- at least they know that now.” “They may or may not have know that when they reported it to me at the game -- I can’t speak for their motivation for reporting Lisa to me in the first place,” the sexy, spandex-clad coach explains, “But they obviously knew that when they went ahead and filed the charge against her anyway.” She suggests that the two of them face charges themselves for filing a false Violation Report with the TVPC. Although, I’m usually quite reluctant to bring those kind of charges --I want to encourage girls to file the appropriate charges when they see another girl committing a toilet violation -- I’m thinking the same thing as well. But obviously I need to hear from Jade and Cat before I decide that.

“Just because she didn’t have messy panties when Miss Musso checked her, doesn’t mean that she didn’t do it,” Jade then argues, “Whose to say that she didn’t mess in her panties first and then change into new ones.” The pretty brunette claims that Lisa actually did mess her panties while still at the Pancake Breakfast that morning and then walked to football field and cleaned herself up in the girls’ room there. “You know somebody did find messy panties in the girls’ room at the field,” Cat then chimes in, “I heard someone found them hidden behind one of the toilets.” Lisa quite obviously takes offense at the suggestion that was her. “So now you’re accusing me not only of messing in my panties but hiding them in the girls’ room?” she fires right back at the ditzy blonde-haired junior. Hiding soiled panties in the girls’ room would, of course, be an additional toilet violation and quite a serious one at that. Leaving soiled panties in the girls’ room would subject a girl to a mandatory toilet suspension and -- since this would also be a violation while representing the school -- quite a lengthy toilet suspension at that.

But Jade clarifies that she’s not actually accusing Lisa of that. “I can’t say whether you left those soiled panties in the girls’ room or not,” Jade tells her, “Maybe you did but I just don’t know.” “I just know what I saw at the school with you needing to go bad at the Pancake Breakfast and your not wanting to use the girls’ room there,” the junior brunette continues, “And I saw you going to the girls’ room at the football field way before the game and I know you were in there for a long time.” “And when you finally came out, we both saw you walking to your car,” Jade adds, “Maybe you took your soiled panties back to your car and stashed them there.” “I went to my car to get my pom-poms for the game,” Lisa then quickly asserts, “Obviously I didn’t need them in the cafeteria for eating pancakes.” “I hate to disappoint you but I didn’t stash my messy panties in my car,” she argues, “I actually didn’t have any messy panties to hide there in the first place.”

Hers is certainly a plausible explanation for going to her car but it still doesn’t explain what she was doing in the girls’ room at the field that long before the game. And Cat then speaks to that issue as well. “She really was in the girls‘ room for a long time, too,” the junior blonde tells us, “And Mrs. Montgomery was in there -- at least for a while -- using the girls’ room at the field, as well.” Mrs. Montgomery -- a new English and Journalism teacher at our school -- was in charge of the concession stand Saturday. Jade and Cat were working the concession stand -- a fund raiser for school activities -- and were apparently there quite early setting up for the game. “As I said, Mrs. Montgomery went to use the girls’ room,” Cat continues, “And when she came back, she said that something was up in one of the stalls.” “She said there was someone in one of the stalls and she was using a whole lot of toilet paper,” Cat reports further, “She also said the smell was really bad and the girl had already flushed the toilet three times just while she was in there.”

Cat’s testimony raises more than a few eyebrows in the committee room. Hers and her friend’s story of Lisa having an accident at the Pancake Breakfast and then cleaning herself up in the girls’ room at the football field -- circumstantial as the evidence may be -- suddenly starts to make sense. “You’ve admitted to needing to go quite badly at the Pancake Breakfast,” I remind the pretty cheerleader, “I need to know if it’s your official explanation that you took care of that there in school -- in the girls’ room -- like you were supposed to.” Even more eyebrows in the committee room are raised when Lisa hesitates in answering that.

“Well, I didn’t actually go at the Breakfast,” Lisa then cautiously explains, “I thought you understood how I really didn’t want to do it in the girls’ room down by the cafeteria.” “Well, we understood that you didn’t WANT to -- We understood that you asked Mrs. Johns for permission to go use the girls’ room somewhere else,” I tell her, now a bit confused, “But I also heard you say that you’d surely use the girls’ room there before you’d go in your pants.” “You did indeed say that, didn’t you?’ comes a question from Mrs. Crabtree, a member of the TVPC. “Yes Ma’am, Yes Sir,” Lisa then answers, “I definitely would rather go in the toilet there -- I’d rather go in the toilet ANYWHERE -- than make a mess in my panties.” “But I didn’t make a mess in my panties -- I just didn’t,” the pretty cheerleader answers us once again, “Just like I’ve been saying all along, I just didn’t mess in my panties.”

The pretty, blonde-haired senior cheerleader then goes on to explain that she simply went to the football stadium and used the girls’ room there. “The one in the school was all crowded and everything with people at the Pancake Breakfast all going to the bathroom there,” Lisa then explains. “Practically no one was in the stadium yet that much before the game,” she explains further, “I knew that girls’ room there would be just about empty and probably really clean that much before the game.” “I didn’t go in my panties -- I just didn’t,” she insists again, “I just walked over to the stadium and went to the bathroom there.” “And I did it in the toilet like I was supposed to,” the articulate senior beauty insists further, “I wasn’t cleaning up after having an accident and I wasn’t changing out of messy panties.” “I just used the toilet there instead of in the school,” the pretty cheerleader reiterates.

When I ask her why she was in there so long and why she apparently used so much toilet paper and had so many toilet flushes, she explains that it was simply a very big and very, very messy bowel movement. “Like I said before, I really like pancakes and I really ate a lot,” Lisa tells us, “And then well…..I had to go afterwards.” “It was a lot and it took a really lot of toilet paper to wipe myself,” the blonde beauty tells us, “And with the large bowel movement and all that toilet paper, it took a lot of flushes to get it all down.” “I know you’re always saying how we have to be careful not to clog the toilet,” she reminds me. She is most certainly correct on that account. “I still don’t know why those two filed this against me,” she then says again, “At this point they obviously knew that I didn’t have any accident in my pants.”

Well, I’m not so sure of that. Turning again to Jade and Cat, I ask them if they have any concrete evidence that Lisa soiled her panties on Saturday. “Did you actually see any messed panties in her hand as she went to her car or did you actually see anything beforehand to suggest that she had a load in her panties?” I ask them, “Or do you have any evidence to suggest that those were Lisa’s soiled panties that were found behind the toilet in the girls’ room at the game?” Both girls shake their head “no.”

Hearing that, I must, of course, find Lisa “Not Guilty” of soiling her panties at the game. But also hearing the totality of the evidence -- and noting that the pretty cheerleader was apparently holding in a very large bowel movement for a considerable amount of time at the Pancake Breakfast -- I don’t think charges against Jade and Cat are appropriate, either. “You were indeed being irresponsible in not going at school when you first needed to,” I admonish Lisa, “You most certainly did risk having an accident by holding it in so long when you obviously had to go quite badly.” “Trying to hold it in like that is what often leads to accidents,” I admonish her further, “And I’d say you were probably quite lucky to avoid having one on Saturday.” “Given all that and considering what your two accusers saw and heard,” I continue, “It was not unreasonable for them to conclude that you had indeed had an accident and were cleaning yourself up in the girls’ room at the football stadium.” The point being that I cannot conclude that the two of them filed a charge that they knew was false.

Lisa looks a bit disappointed that Jade and Cat won’t face charges themselves, but mostly she’s pretty satisfied with the committee’s finding of “Not Guilty” for the charges against her.

Before moving on with our agenda, I ask Mrs. Johns to address several other matters related to the Pancake Breakfast on Saturday morning and the football game that followed. “As long as you’re here can you give us an update on your investigation into these matters,” I ask our ace bathroom monitor. Mrs. Johns was officially appointed yesterday as the lead investigator for the TVPC for several toilet-related matters that arose on Saturday morning -- the most serious, of course, being the soiled panties that we found hidden in the girls’ room at the football field. Any one of our girls doing that would not only face punishment for “panty-soiling” but a mandatory toilet suspension for trying to hide them in the girls’ room. But Mrs. Johns tells us that there is no evidence that it was one of our girls. “We’re pretty certain that those panties don’t belong to anyone on the cheerleading squad or in the band or even girls who were working the concession stand or other things at the game,” Mrs. Johns explains, “There were all kinds of people at the game Saturday and they all, of course, had access to the girls’ room.” “It could have just as easily been someone there from the other school rather than one of our girls,” she explains further, “Worst case scenario, it could have been a parent of even a faculty member from our school.“ Mrs. Johns is also investigating a clogged toilet in the coach’s office in the girls’ locker room and a bowel movement done all over the toilet seat and toilet in the girls’ room across from the cafeteria -- both of these assuredly happening during the Pancake Breakfast. “We’re still investigating those, Mr. Chairman,” our ace bathroom monitor reports, “But once again, there’s no evidence that it was any of our girls that did it.” Asking her specifically about the clogged toilet in the faculty bathroom, Mrs. Johns notes that it could have been a parent or pretty much anyone else sneaking in there to use the toilet. “I’ve checked with all the teachers on duty that day at the breakfast or the game,” she says, “And they’ve all denied doing it.”

Thanking her for the update, I, of course, direct her to continue her investigation.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Moving on with our agenda this afternoon, I next call a very bright and pretty freshman named Nicole. Nicole has 2 matters before the TVPC this afternoon -- one of them being an item of committee business on a prior toilet violation and one of them, unfortunately, is another toilet violation today. Looking over the Violation Report on today’s matter -- filed by our ace restroom monitor Mrs. Johns -- I see she’s charged with leaving a toilet unflushed. Specifically, that she didn’t flush after doing a bowel movement in the Main Corridor girls’ room during 7th period today. Of course, leaving it unflushed after a bowel movement is a more serious violation than if she’d left it unflushed after only urinating. Fortunately, though, she’s not charged with leaving it unflushed on purpose. “She told me that she didn’t do it on purpose -- She told me that she just forgot to flush it,” Mrs. Johns confirms. “She seemed sincere about that, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Johns tells me, “I have no reason not to believe her.”

Nicole’s other matter -- the matter of committee business -- concerns a toilet violation of hers from a week ago. One week ago, the pretty dark-haired blonde was before the TVPC and pleaded “Guilty” to improperly squatting over a toilet in the girls’ room in the Science Wing. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, girls are indeed allowed to squat over the toilet to use it provided that they do manage to still get it all in the toilet and that they also lift up the toilet seat first. The latter point being that if the girl has bad aim while squatting, at least the toilet seat won‘t get wet or soiled. It wasn’t a serious offense -- since it was only a first offense and since she didn’t actually wet or mess (she went both ways) on the toilet seat -- but it was a toilet violation nonetheless. In addition to an hour of detention, she was assigned to write a 1,000 word essay entitled, “The Proper Way to Squat while Using the Toilet at School.” Today -- one week after it was assigned -- she is being asked to hand in the essay.

Turning now to the Nicole, she reaches into her Taylor Swift notebook and pulls out a folder which I assume contains the aforementioned essay. “I have it right here, sir,” she tells me, “I finished it last night.” As directed, she hands her completed essay to the TVPC clerk. She apologies again for not lifting up the toilet seat like she was supposed to and she assures me that in the future she’ll always do that when she decides to squat rather than sit to use the toilet. She thanks me again for giving her such a light punishment and not being more severe with her. “Well, it wasn’t really a serious offense,” I tell her, “And you were quite honest and straightforward in admitting what you’d done.” “Obviously, there was no reason to be more severe with you for an offense like that,” I explain. “Hopefully with the essay you now know the proper procedures for using the toilet when you squat instead of sit,“ I point out, “And hopefully, you’ll remember to do that from now on.” “Yes, sir -- I will definitely remember,” she assures me, “MY TWO DADS even made me practice the technique on the toilet at home.” Nicole, whose mother recently passed away, now apparently lives with two dads. The TVPC clerk, having looked over the girl’s essay, pronounces that it appears complete and in good order. Accordingly, the essay is accepted.

Her prior matter now taken care of, I next must ask her about her unflushed toilet today. “I’m sorry about that, too, sir,” she tells me apologetically, “I can’t believe I did that -- I don’t really know how that happened.” “I just forget to flush it, sir,” she continues, “I know it was stupid of me, but I guess I just wasn’t really paying attention and forget to flush.” Forgetting to flush, of course, is a less serious violation than leaving the toilet unflushed on purpose. Fortunately for her, Mrs. Johns is not suggesting that she did it on purpose. “I guess I was kind of in a hurry and preoccupied with other things on my mind, sir,” Nicole adds, “But I just forgot to flush -- I know it sounds stupid, but I just forgot!”

She goes on to explain that she was feeling the need to go during her 7th period Algebra class and she asked her teacher for a pass to the girls’ room. “Obviously, I had to go both ways and I needed to go kind of bad,” she explains, “And fortunately, Miss Spellman let me have a pass to go to the girls’ room to do it.” “I then went to the girls’ room in the Main Corridor and quickly found a stall and sat down to do my business,” the articulate freshman beauty continues. “I actually did check for toilet paper first and there was toilet paper there in the stall,” Nicole explains further, “But apparently, I didn’t check the toilet paper close enough because there wasn’t much there.” “When I first go to wipe myself, it turns out that there was only enough there for one wipe,” she tells us, “And having done more than just pee, one wipe was obviously not going to be enough.” She then tells us that she decided to go get some toilet paper from a different stall. “At first, I was just going to get some and then go back to the stall I had previously used and wipe myself there,” she explains, “But then as I started unraveling the toilet paper, I realized that I might as well just stay there and finished wiping myself in that stall.” “The thing is, sir, that I just didn’t think about the fact that I hadn’t yet flushed the toilet I actually did my business in,” she says, “Once I started wiping myself in that stall, I just forgot about what I had left in the prior one.” “I mean, I finished wiping myself and I flushed down the toilet paper I had used there,” she clarifies, “But I just forgot that I still had my bowel movement, my pee, and one wad of toilet paper in the other toilet.” “I then just went about washing my hands and I went back to class,” she tells us, “I just forgot all about the load that I’d left in the first toilet.”

Her explanation causes a few chuckles in the committee room including from the members of the TVPC. “Don’t worry, Nicole,” I assure her, “We can see how that could happen and this really isn’t a serious offense, either.” “We believe you that you didn’t do it on purpose,” I explain as I note Mrs. Johns nodding her head in agreement with that. “I mean, it is still your responsibility to flush the toilet after you use it, so you will have to be punished,” I explain further, “But your punishment is certainly not going to be that bad. Nicole looks relieved to hear that.

Turning to Mrs. Johns, she agrees that a lenient punishment is in order but does point out that this was a bowel movement in addition to a urination that was left unflushed in the toilet. As noted, not flushing a bowel movement makes it a tad more serious. “And I must say that it was quite a large bowel movement at that,” the ace restroom monitor adds. Nicole nods her head admitting to that. “Yes, sir -- it really was kind of a lot,” she acknowledges, “I really had to go and I did.” “It was kind of a messy one, too, sir,” she also says, “It took quite a lot of toilet paper to wipe myself.” “It was a 2-flusher even if I hadn’t used 2 different toilets,” she adds. “Well, it would have been a 2-flusher had I flushed the toilet like I was supposed to,” she then clarifies.

For punishment, I first give her 2 hours of detention. I then give her the choice or writing, “I must learn to flush the toilet after using it” 200 times or writing another 1,000 word essay. “Unlike last time with lifting up the seat, I think you already understand the necessity of flushing the toilet,” I explain to her, “So I’m not going to actually require an essay like last time.” “But if you’d prefer to do another essay rather than writing lines, I’ll certainly give you that option,” I explain further. Nicole immediately chooses the 200 sentences instances.

Moving on with our agenda this afternoon we have several panty-soiling cases to deal with. The first one -- that of a skinny, blonde named Stephanie and nicknamed “Stevie” -- comes as a bit of a shock. Stevie is the Secretary of our Student Council, a very bright and articulate honor student and certainly not one to soil her panties in school. Miss Bliss, who apparently caught her with the soiled panties while the pretty senior was using the toilet in the New Addition girls’ room, has noted that Stevie’s soiling is a pretty light one, but it’s a panty-soiling nonetheless. “MADAME SECRETARY -- I must say I’m surprised,” I tell her, “I can’t recall you ever being here with soiled panties before.” “That’s because it’s never happened before,” she tells me, “And it didn’t happen this time, either.” Stevie has entered a plea of “Not Guilty” to the panty-soiling charge.

Turning to Miss Bliss, she seems a bit annoyed at Stevie’s plea of “Not Guilty.” “Come on, Stevie,” she says to the blonde-haired beauty, “I caught you right there in the stall trying to clean up your panties with toilet paper.” “I know it wasn’t a lot in your panties,” Miss Bliss tells her, “But you certainly did enough in them for it to be a panty-soiling.” “It looks like one of those cases where a girl makes it to the toilet a little too late,” the blonde-haired History & Civics Teacher turns and tells me, “Obviously, she did most of it in the toilet, but unfortunately, she got some of it in her panties, too.” “I did ALL of it in the toilet,” Stevie then chimes in, “I definitely did NOT get to the toilet too late and I definitely did it all in the toilet like I’m supposed to.” “I told you what happened,” she tells Miss Bliss, “I told you how that got in my panties and it wasn’t because I had an accident in them.” “It wasn’t because I went in my pants,” she turns and tells me, “I didn’t go in my pants, sir -- I just didn’t.” Since Stevie doesn’t seem to deny that she’s got fecal matter in her panties -- albeit only a little bit -- it leads me to an obvious question. And Stevie is smart enough to answer it before I even ask. “It only happened because I didn’t wipe myself,” Stevie then explains, “I did it all in the toilet like I’m supposed to but I got that in my panties from not wiping myself afterwards.”

Her answer, naturally, catches us all a bit by surprise. “Well, Stevie, there’s no TVPC rule that specifically requires a girl to wipe herself after she uses the toilet -- even if it’s a bowel movement,” I explain to her, “But the rules also hold a girl responsible for what happens if she doesn’t wipe.” “If you still manage to keep your panties clean after not wiping, it isn’t a problem -- at least not as far as the TVPC is concerned,” I explain further, “But if your panties get soiled from not wiping, it’s no different than if you’d simply soiled them from not using the toilet at all.” Thinking about the specifics of Stevie’s case, though, it certainly would explain why her panties aren’t soiled that badly. While not wiping after a particularly messy bowel movement could certainly produce enough of a mess to constitute a panty-soiling violation, it would not, of course, be as much of a mess as simply doing the bowel movement directly in her panties.

Stevie, though, apparently already knew the TVPC rules about girls wiping themselves. She was visibly nodding her head as I was explaining them to her. But just because she understands the rules doesn’t mean she thinks it’s right. “I shouldn’t get a panty-soiling violation if I didn’t really soil my panties,” the senior beauty tells me, “That just isn’t right.” “Panty-soiling is supposed to mean that a girl went in her pants instead of the toilet,” she argues, “But I didn’t go in my pants -- I haven’t gone in my pants the whole time that I’ve been in high school.” “Well, I guess, I did WET my pants once back when I was a freshman,” she acknowledges, “But not since then and I’ve never MESSED in my panties at all.” Stevie is, of course, entitled to her opinion, but that doesn’t change the TVPC rules. If a girl soils her panties enough from not wiping herself after a bowel movement, she can be punished for panty-soiling. Although Stevie is a smart girl and clearly knows that, I reiterate that point. “Panty-soiling is panty-soiling,” I tell her, “A girl your age shouldn’t have fecal matter in her panties no matter how it got there.”

Of course, the discussion still begs the question as to why Stevie didn’t simply wipe herself and avoid all this. Naturally, I ask her about this. “I have to assume that you normally do wipe yourself when you have a bowel movement in school,” I tell her. “I mean, with all the after-school activities you’ve been involved with over your years here, you’ve probably done numerous bowel movements here at school,” I explain, “I have to think that if you didn’t regularly wipe yourself, you’d have had a panty-soiling violation long before now.” Stevie, actually, seems a bit annoyed at the question. “Well, obviously, I DO wipe myself,” she tells me, “That’s just gross if you go without wiping -- even when you just pee.” But Stevie then tells of being stuck in the stall without any toilet paper this time. “I was using the girls’ room between classes, so obviously I was in a bit of a hurry,” she says, “And when I reached for the toilet paper after I was done, I found the holder completely empty.” “As I said, I was in a hurry -- I just sat down and went without checking the toilet paper first,” she explains, “And by the time I was done, the warning bell had already rung and I had no time to get some more without being late for class again.” She has 2 toilet violations already this year for being late to class for bathroom purposes. “I went to the girls’ room again after my next class and I wiped myself then,” she explains further, “But by then, I guess it was too late -- I had already gotten some in my panties.” “That’s when Miss Bliss caught me in the girls’ room,” she adds, “I had wiped myself and was then trying to clean up my panties a little bit.”

With Stevie’s explanation, it all suddenly seems to make sense. It’s obviously an unfortunate situation and I tell her so. But it’s still no excuse for the mess in her panties. “I’m sorry but I’m still going to have to find you ‘Guilty’ on the “Panty-Soiling” charge,” I tell her and note for the record. I think she pretty much expected that as I see her nodding her head as I announce that. It’s her first panty-soiling of the school year but having those 2 violations for being late to class for bathroom purposes, she’s not entitled to be let off with just a warning. Still, under the circumstances, a quite lenient punishment is certainly in order. Ironically enough, she also has a violation on her record for using too much toilet paper one time last month. I give her the choice of spending an hour in detention or writing “I will not soil my panties in school again” 100 times. “I’ll do the lines, sir,” she quickly chooses -- seeming pretty happy that she doesn’t have to do both the lines and the detention. “If I were you I’d check for toilet paper next time before you sit down,” I suggest. She nods her head in agreement with that. “I will, sir,” she says.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

In a bit of an oddity we have two accused panty-soilers both named Sam -- or rather, I suppose, Samantha. But both girls -- an athletic sophomore brunette and a stunningly beautiful junior blonde -- are simply known as “Sam” so that’s what we’ll go with here. Neither girl seems to have a particularly bad load, but both girls obviously have enough in their pants that it’s clearly noticeable to any of the experienced panty-inspectors among our teaching staff. “Who wants to go first, ladies,” I ask them. Neither girl volunteers but I shouldn’t be surprised at that. An appearance before the TVPC is not something that any girl looks forward to. “I guess I’ll go first if it’s alright with her,” Sam -- the junior -- speaks up, “Might as well get it over with, I guess.”

Dealing with the junior beauty’s case first, Sam complains that it’s not really her fault. “I mean, I did do it -- obviously -- so I guess it’s partially my fault,” she clarifies, “But it never would have happened if Mr. Feeney would have just let me go to the girls’ room when I needed to.” Her comment draws an audible groan from the assembled crowd. Mr. Feeney is Sam’s History and Civics teacher and he’s a real stickler for the rules. He maintains a strict policy that class time is for learning and girls need to take care of any other matters before or after class. “It’s Mr. Feeney’s class, young lady,” I remind her, “And in Mr. Feeney’s class, it’s Mr. Feeney that sets the rules.” Hearing that, Sam rolls her eyes at me. “WHO’S THE BOSS in Mr. Feeney’s class?” I then ask her -- largely just to drive home the point. “Mr. Feeney,” Sam reluctantly -- but inevitably -- assures me.

The very pretty brunette tells us that she found herself in Mr. Feeney’s class 4th period needing to go. “What can I say, sir -- I had an emergency,” she tells me, “I suddenly had to go real bad and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in until the end of the period.” “I had an emergency -- I had to go #2 really, really bad,” she reports -- a bit of urgency in her voice. “And guess what happened next,” Sam continues, now changing her tone to one of sarcasm, “What happened next was what usually happens when a girl has to go to the bathroom really bad and you don’t let her go.” The last comment seemed to be directed -- at least to some degree -- in Mr. Feeney’s direction. That draws an admonition from me to watch her tone.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Samantha tells me, now a bit more under control, “It’s just that I had to go to the bathroom and Mr. Feeney wouldn’t let me.” “It’s just so frustrating, sir -- It’s not like I was trying to avoid going at school,” she explains, “I wanted to go -- I was desperate to go -- and Mr. Feeney just wouldn’t let me.” “I hate going in my pants, sir, -- it’s so disgusting,” Sam continues, “I’d do just about anything to avoid going in my pants -- I’d do just about anything to go do it in the toilet instead.” She tells us that she did ask Mr. Feeney for a girls’ room pass but that he refused her. “I guess it was pointless -- I guess I already knew he was never going to let me go,” the junior beauty acknowledges, “But I wasn’t about to just sit there and go in my pants without at least trying.” She also tells us that she tried really hard to hold it in until class was over but she just couldn’t make it. “I tried -- I tried really hard, sir -- I tried with all my might to hold it in,” Sam explains, “I wanted more than anything not to have another accident in my pants.” “But I guess I just had to go too bad for that, sir,” she explains further, “I tried desperately to make it to the end of class, but I just couldn’t make it.” “Suddenly, I just couldn’t hold it in any longer,” she tells us, a tone of anger rising in her voice, “I had an accident -- suddenly it just all came out in my pants.” “This is all because of you -- because you wouldn’t let me to go to the girls’ room when I needed to,” she turns and angrily tells Mr. Feeney, “You made me go to the bathroom in my pants.”

I reach for my gavel -- intending again to admonish Sam for her tone -- but before I can use it, Mr. Feeney comes to his own defense. “You know my policy, young lady,” he tells the girl, “You know that class time is for class business and nothing else.” “I expect you to come to class ready to study History and Civics for the whole period,” Mr. Feeney continues, “You know very well that I expect you girls to handle your bathroom business on your own time.” Upon further questioning from the strict teacher, Sam admits that she did have to go before class but it really wasn’t urgent at the time. Mr. Feeney, though, doesn’t see that as an excuse. “Well, if you did have to go before class, then you should have gone to the girls’ room before class,” he tells Sam, “You should have known better than to come to my class already needing to go to the bathroom.”

But Sam tells him that it’s not enough time between classes to take care of that. “Are you kidding me!” she says, “It’s barely enough time to pee between classes, much less do what I needed to do.” She tells us that when she pees between classes like that, she often doesn’t even wipe herself because there isn’t enough time. “No way, no way,” Sam continues, shaking her head, “No way is it enough time between classes to have a bowel movement and still get to class on time.” “And obviously you can’t just go without wiping when you do that,” she adds.

But Mr. Feeney remains unimpressed -- and unmoved. “You need to take care of your own business on your own time, young lady -- you need to find a way,” he tells Sam, “You don’t get to do your bathroom business on class time -- at least not in my class.” Actually, Sam probably would have been better off if she had just gone between classes anyway, done what she needed to do, and simply accepted that she was going to be late for class. I mean, the punishment for that wouldn’t have been much different than the punishment she’s going to get now and at least, she wouldn’t have a mess in her pants to deal with. I point that out to her. “Yeah, I guess so, sir -- I’ve thought about that,” she says, “But as I said, I really didn’t have to go that bad at the time.” She then tells us that she has study hall the period after History and that she was planning to go then. “I never thought I’d have an issue waiting until Study Hall to go,” she tells us, “But then suddenly right in the middle of History class, I had to go worse than anything.

This is Samantha’s 2nd panty-soiling of the school year -- the first having happened in gym class earlier in the year and she’s also got a violation earlier in the year for “Clogging a Toilet” with a combination of toilet paper and a particular large bowel movement of hers. For punishment she’ll have to serve 2 hours detention and write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 200 times.

Now calling the cute, athletic sophomore, this Sam admits that the panty-soiling was entirely her fault. “I’m sorry, sir,” she tells me, “I guess I just waited too long to go to the girls’ room and the accident happened.” “I did the mess -- It’s my fault,” she continues, “It was stupid of me to wait so long when I really had to go.” “But I did it, sir, and I can’t change that now,” she pleads, “All I can do now is say that I’m sorry and hope that you’ll GIMME A BREAK.” She also tells us that she did manage to do some of it in the toilet. “I did run to the girls’ room when it started coming out in my pants,” she tells us, “Obviously, I already had a mess but I think I actually did more in the toilet than in my pants.” “I didn’t mean that as an excuse, sir -- Obviously, I shouldn’t have waited until then,” she acknowledges, “I’m just saying that’s what happened and that’s why the mess isn’t as bad as it could have been.” “I really had to go, sir,” Sam explains, “If I hadn’t at least done some of it in the toilet, it would have been a really bad mess then.”

Miss Musso -- this happened in gym class -- confirms that Sam is telling us the truth. “I guess she either didn’t have to go before class or had to go and ignored it,” the sexy, spandex-clad gym teacher explains. “We were playing Volleyball in gym class and, as usual, Sam was one of the best players in the class,” Miss Musso tells us, “But suddenly she stopped, frozen in place, holding her stomach and clenching her butt-cheeks together as tight as I’ve seen any girl do it before.” “She looked at me with a panicked expression on her face,” Miss Musso explains, “Obviously, I knew what she needed to do and I gave her permission to go before she even asked.” “But even so, it was obviously too late,” the sexy teacher and coach tells us, shaking her head, “I could already see it in her shorts as she ran to the locker room and the toilets there.” “If she did do more of it in the toilet I’m glad to hear that,” Miss Musso adds, “There was plenty in her pants already and I hate to think that it could have been worse.”

“Sam nods her head at that notion. “I guess I was lucky,” she acknowledges, “It really could have been a whole lot worse if I didn’t eventually get to the toilet when I did.” “But it just doesn’t feel like I’m lucky,” she says haltingly, fighting back tears, “Not standing here with a mess in my panties.” “Well, whose fault is that?” Mrs. Adler asks her harshly. “It’s my fault, Ma’am,” Sam answers forthrightly, “It’s all my fault.”

Checking back with Miss Musso, she wants to know if Sam just suddenly had to go in gym class or had she been holding it in for awhile beforehand. “Like I said before, I think I just waited too long to go to the bathroom,” the sophomore cutie explains, “It really wasn’t an emergency until all that happened while we were playing volleyball, but unfortunately I already did have to go before class and just decided to wait.” “I had actually been holding it in quite a while and I was initially planning to go in the locker room before class,” she explains further, “But then I was in a hurry to get out there and there was already a line of other girls waiting to use the toilets in the locker room.” “It was stupid, ma’am,” she tells her gym teacher, “I really should have gone before gym class.” “OBVIOUSLY, I should have gone before gym class,” she emphasizes, “If I’d have just used the toilet in the locker room when I should have, none of this would have happened.” With Sam, this appears to be more a matter of her eagerness to get to gym class and get on a good team for volleyball than any reluctance to have a bowel movement in the locker room bathroom with other girls.

Still, it’s a panty-soiling violation -- and her third one of the school year -- and obviously she must be punished. Additionally, she has a violation for “Wasting Toilet Paper” on her toilet record this year. But obviously, this is about her third panty-soiling already this year. “This seems to be becoming a habit with you and a bad one at that,” I admonish her, “You say you’re sorry and you seem sincere, but yet these accidents keep happening.” “I’m sorry -- I’m really sorry,” Sam answers, “It’s just that sometimes I have accidents -- I just end up waiting too long and sometimes it ends up in my pants.” “Well, I definitely think you need to be paying more attention to when you need to go to the bathroom -- especially when it’s a bowel movement,” I tell her. “You’re a sophomore in high school now, Samantha,” I remind her, “It really shouldn’t be a problem for you anymore to get to the toilet when you need to.” “And the punishment will obviously get worse the more times you go in your pants,” I warn her, “I hope that will also serve as an incentive for you to get to the toilet when you need to.” “Yes, sir,” she tells me. “That means going to the toilet when you FIRST need to,” I emphasize, “Or at least the first opportunity you get to go with being in class and all.” “Yes, sir,” she tells me again. For punishment, Sam gets the standard punishment for a third panty-soiling of the school year -- that being, having to write “I will not soil my panties in school again” 300 times and serving 3 hours in detention.

The next girl facing the TVPC this afternoon is Lara, a pretty blonde senior. Whereas the two Samanthas were in trouble for going in their panties, Lara is in trouble for going in the toilet – Specifically, “Using the Girls’ Room While on Toilet Suspension.”

“Did I not make myself clear, young lady,” I tell the senior beauty sternly, “Did you not understand that being on toilet suspension mean that you’re not allowed to use the girls’ room in school?” “Yes sir – I knew,” Lara rather bravely admits, “It’s just that I couldn’t stand it – I just couldn’t stand not being able to use the toilet.” “I’m sorry, sir,” she adds, “But I just went in there because I didn’t want to go in my pants again.” “Well, going in your pants is what happens when you’re on toilet suspension,” I tell her sternly, “If you didn’t want to be on toilet suspension and go in your pants, then you shouldn’t have been smoking in the girls’ room.” Smoking in the girls‘ room is what got her on toilet suspension in the first place. “Yes sir – I know it’s my own fault,” she says, “But that still doesn’t help me when I need to use the bathroom at school.” “Please sir – I know I’m not supposed to use the toilet while on toilet suspension,” she continues, “But I was just desperate – I couldn’t hold it in another minute.” “Well, if you can’t hold it in, then you go in your pants,” I reiterate, “Like I said before, that is what happens when you’re on toilet suspension.”

“But sir – I had to go #2 this time,” she says, “Its bad enough wetting my pants on toilet suspension, but doing #2 in your pants is something else.” “I went #2 in my pants for the first time on toilet suspension yesterday,” she explains, “And it’s the most disgusting thing ever.” “The mess doesn’t just stay in your panties – The mess gets smeared all over and it’s just awful,” Lara explains further, “And then when I got home, I had to clean it all up.” “Don’t get me wrong sir – Nothing felt better than to get cleaned up after that,” she continues, “But cleaning it up was just disgusting – It was like the most disgusting thing I ever had to do.” “And then I had to go #2 in school again today,” she continues, “And like I said, I knew I just couldn’t hold it in until school was over.” “I just couldn’t mess in my panties again today – I just couldn’t,” she tells us, “So I snuck into the girls’ room and did it in there.” “Please sir,” she pleads, “I’m sorry but I only did it because I didn’t want to mess in my panties again.”

Miss Robinson is the girls’ accuser in this case. “I saw her coming out of the New Addition girls’ room and I saw the red wristband on her wrist,” the Science teacher explains. The red wristband, of course, is something that girls on toilet suspension have to wear. That way, as in this case, they are easy to identify when they sneak into the girls’ room or otherwise violate their toilet suspension punishment. “I must say that at least she was honest about using the girls’ room when I confronted her about it,” Miss Robinson adds.

“Well, she wasn’t honest with me,” chimes in Mrs. Buchman, an English teacher. Mrs. Buchman was apparently supervising Lara’s 6th period study hall today. “She asked me for a pass to go to the library,” Mrs. Buchman explains, “Obviously I didn’t give a girl on toilet suspension a pass to the girls’ room.” “You lied to me, young lady,” she lectures Lara sternly, “You took a library pass and went to the girls’ room instead.” “Yes Ma’am,” Lara admits, “I’m really sorry about that.” “But like I said before, I was really desperate,” she pleads with her teacher, “I just had to find a way to get to the girls’ room.”

But I’m just left shaking my head. “The point is that you don’t go to the girls’ room while you’re on toilet suspension,” I explain, a tinge of anger in my voice, “And this obviously is just as true when it comes to having bowel movements as it is when you just have to urinate.” My first reaction is to be even angrier with her, but I do appreciate how she’s being honest about what she did. And I guess I should have some sympathy for a girl who is desperate for a bowel movement in school, but is on toilet suspension and just can’t do it in the toilet like she needs to. But whether I have sympathy or not, she going to have to get punished for this and it’s going to have to be a punishment that’s going to make an impression on her.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

“I can have sympathy for you not wanting to mess in your panties,” I tell the well-endowed senior beauty, “But as I said before, messing in your panties is what happens sometimes when you’re on toilet suspension.” “But that’s just awful,” she begins to plead some more, as I put up my hand to stop her. “Of course it’s awful – Punishment is supposed to be awful,” I tell her, “That’s why you don’t smoke in the girls’ room and get put on toilet suspension in the first place.” “And that’s why when you do get put on toilet suspension, you STAY OUT OF THE GIRLS’ ROOM!” I yell at her, “That is, of course, unless you want to get punished worse.”

Once again, she pleads with me, this time in tears. “Please not that! – PLEASE not a longer toilet suspension,” she begs, “I’ll do anything but PLEASE not that!” “I’ll write lines, I’ll serve detention – I’ll do anything,” the poor girl continues, “Just please don’t give me more time on toilet suspension.” “Oh! – You’ll do detention and punishment writing all right,” I explain, “But that’ll be IN ADDITION to, rather than instead of, more time on toilet suspension.” Like I said, I do feel sympathy for Lara, but my duty here is clear. Using the Girls’ Room While on Toilet Suspension is a serious offense and she must be punished accordingly. I then add 2 weeks to her toilet suspension sentence. “That was the minimum punishment for using the toilet while on toilet suspension,” I point out, “So I don’t want to hear any more arguments.” “Next time you use the toilet while on toilet suspension, the minimum punishment is another month,” I warn her, “And I doubt that I’ll only give you the minimum next time.” She’ll also have to serve a week of detention and write “I will not use the girls’ room or otherwise violate my toilet suspension again” 1,000 times – Both of these being the mandatory minimum punishments for what she did. But I also tack on 3 days of detention and a 1,000 word letter of apology that Lara will have to write to Mrs. Buchman for lying to get out of study hall. “Consider yourself lucky that I didn’t add time to your toilet suspension for that as well,“ I tell the crying senior beauty. Lara is left sobbing into her hands as she hears her punishment and contemplates it all – Especially the longer time she’s now going to be on toilet suspension.

For our next case, we have a studious senior brunette named Marie. But as I look through the papers in front of me, I can’t seem to find a Violation Report on her. Looking over at my fellow TVPC members, I see that none of them have a Violation Report on this case, either. Excuse me, Mr. Chairman,” suddenly comes a voice from the assembled crowd. I look over and see Mrs. Montgomery, a new English and Journalism teacher at our school, and she has her hand raised. “Excuse me, Mr. Chairman,” she repeats. “This case is mine, sir,” she tells me, “I just didn’t know specifically what to charge Marie with.” “I mean, I know it was obviously a violation what she did,” the articulate English teacher explains, “I just wasn’t sure exactly how to write it up.” I, of course, motion her up to the podium and assure her that we’ll help her sort it out.

“Well, I guess you should start from the beginning and tell us what happened,” I tell the quite pretty and enthusiastic teacher. Nodding her head, Mrs. Montgomery then tells us that she was monitoring the Main Corridor girls’ room between 3rd and 4th period this morning. She tells us that she was mostly doing panty-inspections on the girls that had come in there. “No accidents today, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Montgomery notes with a smile, “The girls had nothing but clean and dry underwear today.” “Well, that may or may not be good news,” I tell her -- also with a smile, “I think maybe girls who have had accidents in their pants are simply avoiding you.” This new teacher is quickly developing a reputation for being quite diligent in doing panty inspections on our girls. “Well, maybe, she says, “It wasn’t that crowded in there today -- JUST THE TEN OF US in there.”

Anyway, getting back to Marie and her toilet violation, Mrs. Montgomery reports that while she was in there doing those panty inspections, she suddenly heard a bit of a commotion coming from inside one of the stalls. “And, of course, I went to check it out, Mr. Chairman,” the enthusiastic new teacher explains. “And I found Marie in the stall with her pants down squatting over the toilet,” she explains further, “And a certain yellow liquid running down the side of the toilet.” “Marie was squatting to urinate rather than sitting down,” Mrs. Montgomery reports, “And she missed and urinated all down the side of the toilet and onto the floor.” Marie -- a shy and quiet sort -- suddenly looks up as if she wants to say something, but Mrs. Montgomery beats her to it. “I mean, I’m not saying that she did it ALL down the side of the toilet,” the English teacher quickly clarifies, “She obviously did urinate mostly in the toilet.” “I just mean she didn’t quite get all of it in the toilet like she was supposed to,” Mrs. Montgomery points out, “She just got some of it on the toilet itself and it was enough that it dripped down to the floor.” “I mean, I know the rules say that girls can squat on the toilet when they go,” she adds. “But don’t they have to get it all in the toilet when they do?” she asks.

“Indeed they do,” I tell the enthusiastic English teacher, “Girls are responsible for doing all their bodily functions in the toilet regardless of whether they sit or squat.” I also point out to her that TVPC rules also require that if girls do squat, they do so only with the toilet seat in the upright position. “That way even if something does happen, at least the toilet seat wouldn’t get wet,” I explain, “Or worse, if a girl is instead squatting to have a bowel movement.” Checking with Mrs. Montgomery, she confirms that the smart but shy senior beauty did in fact lift up the toilet seat first. Marie is, of course, nodding her heard in agreement with that. She obviously knows, as do faithful readers of the TVPC, that leaving the seat down would have made this a more serious violation. In fact, leaving the toilet seat down while squatting -- even without actually wetting or soiling the seat -- would be a toilet violation in and of itself.

Marie, not surprisingly, wants to emphasize the fact that she did lift up the toilet seat first. “I always try to be considerate of my fellow students, sir” she tells me, “Whenever I squat, I ALWAYS lift up the toilet seat first.” “I like to squat, but I know a lot of other girls who always sit,” she explains, “The last thing I’d want to do for their sake is sprinkle on the toilet seat where they sit.” Of course, it’s all well and good not to wet the toilet seat, but urinating on the toilet itself isn’t much better. “Obviously, you did the right thing by lifting up the toilet seat first,” I tell her, “You obviously know the proper procedures for squatting when you use the toilet” “But the other important rule about squatting is that you have to get it all in the bowl, Marie,” I explain further, “Urinating on the rim of the toilet and then having it dribble onto the floor is obviously completely unacceptable.” “If you are going to squat to urinate, young lady,” I lecture her, “You obviously need to have good enough aim and make sure it all goes in the toilet where it’s supposed to go.” “If you can’t manage to get it all in the toilet, then you obviously should be sitting all the way down instead of squatting,” I tell her.

Marie nods her head in agreement. “Yes, sir,” I understand,” she says. “I just don’t know what happened this time, sir,” she then tells me, “I squat all the time, sir, and this has never been a problem for me before.” “I mean, I usually do sit when I do #2,” she explains, “But when it’s just pee, I always just pop a squat and do it that way.” “But it’s never been a problem before, sir,” she reiterates, “I’ve always got it all in the toilet without any problem.” “Maybe it was that I had to go a lot worse than I usually do,” she speculates, “I was thirsty all morning and I guess I drank a lot more water than I usually do.” “I guess it was kind of an emergency by the time I was squatting there,” the articulate senior speculates further, “Maybe it started coming out with more force than it usually does -- Maybe because I was in a hurry I didn’t position myself as carefully as I normally do.” “I’m sorry, sir,” she adds, “I really didn’t mean to pee like that -- I promise I will be more careful next time.”

Moving on to the girl’s punishment, Mrs. Montgomery actually has a choice to make with how to charge her. “It would appear that Marie urinated on both the floor and the toilet itself,” I explain to the new teacher, “You could actually charge her with 2 separate violations if you want to.” But Mrs. Montgomery tells me that she doesn’t think that would be right. “That would really be piling it on the poor girl,” she argues, “It’s not like she urinated outside the toilet on purpose.” “She accidentally urinated on the rim of the toilet bowl -- that’s what she did,” Mrs. Montgomery reasons, “It’s only indirectly that she also urinated on the floor.” I suggest then that she simply charge Marie with “Urinating on the Toilet” and leave it at that. Mrs. Montgomery agrees. “And can I assume you have no reason to believe that she did this on purpose?” I ask her. “Correct, Mr. Chairman,” she says, “I’m sure it was only accidental.” That distinction, of course, means a great deal as to determining Marie’s punishment.

Still, urinating in an inappropriate place -- accidental as it may be -- isn’t only a minor offense. Obviously, some sort of after-school bathroom cleaning is in order here. “Maybe it’s not as bad as urinating on the toilet seat but having urine on the toilet itself and on the floor certainly doesn’t make the girls’ room more pleasant to use,” I point out, “And that must be reflected in your punishment.” “If you can’t manage to avoid getting urine elsewhere, maybe you should consider not squatting when you urinate,“ I suggest, “Maybe you should consider sitting all the way down like you apparently do when have bowel movements in school.“ Accordingly, I sentence the senior honor student to 3 days of detention cleaning our bathrooms and to write, “I will not urinate on the toilet in the girls’ room in school again” 250 times. Furthermore, I warn her that her punishment will be considerably worse if this happens again.

The last matter before the TVPC this afternoon is the case of Mallory. This very pretty senior brunette is charged with using the bathroom in the nurse’s office, but she pleads “Not Guilty” to the charge. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, only girls with legitimate business in the nurse’s office are permitted to use the bathroom there. Lots of girls like to use that bathroom in the nurse’s office for their bowel movements as it’s a single user bathroom and as such provides more privacy than a stall in the regular girls’ room. But girls, obviously, are not permitted to go to nurse’s office merely to go to the bathroom there. Oddly, though, Mallory is charged with this violation not by the nurse herself, but by her Biology teacher Miss Robinson. This is strange indeed. But as was noted, Mallory has pleaded “Not Guilty” to the charge.

Though our school nurse, Miss McMurphy, isn’t the one bring the charge, I naturally want to discuss this matter with her as well. “Well, Mallory did use the bathroom in my office -- she definitely did do a bowel movement in there,” Nurse McMurphy reports, “I just can’t be sure that what she did was a toilet violation.” “I can’t say that I disagree with Miss Robinson, either,” Nurse McMurphy continues, “It’s certainly possible that Mallory came to my office just to move her bowels there.” “But I’m just not sure,” the pretty nurse tells me, “I’m just not sure enough to charge her with a violation myself.” “Well, I’m sure,” chimes in Miss Robinson, Mallory’s 4th period Biology teacher, “I’m not sure what more you’d need to charge her.” “She went to your office, had a bowel movement there, and then came back to class,” she reminds Nurse McMurphy, “As I understand it, you caught her right in the act of having a bowel movement in the bathroom in your office.” “How much more obvious does it have to be?” she asks the pretty, dark-haired school nurse. “Well, you may be right,” Miss McMurphy tells the pretty, young Science teacher, “But I’m just not as sure as you that she came to my office just to use the bathroom there.” Naturally, if a girl has a legitimate reason to go to the nurse’s office and then needs to use the toilet while she’s there, she’s permitted to use the nurse’s bathroom.

As noted, Mallory has pleaded “Not Guilty” to this offense. “I didn’t go to the nurse’s office just to go to the bathroom,” the senior beauty insists, “I went to the nurse’s office because I was sick.” She readily admits that she did do a bowel movement in the nurse’s toilet, but insists that the whole thing only happened while she was already there. “If I had just needed to do a bowel movement I would have gone to the girls’ room to do it,” Mallory tells us, “I know we’re not allowed to go to the nurse’s office just to do that.” “But I was feeling sick -- I wasn’t feeling well from when I first got up this morning,” she says, “That’s why I went to the nurse’s office.” “I wasn’t that I needed to go -- I was just not feeling well,” she insists. “But once you got to the nurse’s office you just suddenly needed to go to the bathroom?” Miss Robinson questions her, a tinge of sarcasm in her voice, “How convenient it must have been to suddenly need a bowel movement once you were there.” But Mallory insists that it is indeed what happened. “Miss McMurphy told me to go lie down in the sick room for a while and that’s what I did,” she explains, “But then I suddenly had to run to the bathroom because I felt like I needed to throw up.” “It felt like I was going to throw up,” she repeats. “But then I felt an intense cramp in my stomach and it felt like I needed to poop,” the pretty brunette explains further, “So I just yanked down my pants and panties and quickly sat down on the toilet.” “And I’m glad I did,” she then argues, “Because it was just in time and I had to go a lot.” “I don’t think I even had a chance to close the door,” she adds, “I know that I certainly didn’t bother to lock it.” “I just quickly sat down and out it come,” she tells us emphatically, “I’m glad that bathroom was there because if it wasn’t I surely would have had an accident.” “And I definitely would have had an accident if I had tried to go somewhere else to go to the bathroom.,” she claims.

Nurse McMurphy confirms much of the girl’s story but it doesn’t quite prove Mallory’s innocence. “Mallory did report to me from Miss Robinson’s class complaining about feeling really hot and nauseous,” Miss McMurphy reports, “And I did tell her to lie down in the sick room and rest.” “It wasn’t 10 minutes later, though, when I saw her running to the bathroom holding her stomach,” the pretty and popular nurse explains, “I must say that I definitely thought Mallory was going to the bathroom to throw up.” “But when I went to check on her a little bit later, she was sitting on the toilet,” Nurse McMurphy explains further, “I caught Mallory right in the act of wiping herself and it was definitely wiping after a bowel movement.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Miss Robinson eagerly nodding her head at that. “And I bet it wasn’t diarrhea or anything like that,” the very pretty but also very strict Science teacher suggests. Nurse McMurphy confirms that it was indeed a solid bowel movement and quite a big one at that. “And then suddenly miraculously she felt good enough to return to class?” Miss Robinson asks, although it seems more in the nature of sarcasm than actually a question. As her teacher, she knows, of course, that Mallory did indeed return to class. “Yes, after she was done she said she felt better,” Nurse McMurphy reports, “So since she felt better, I told her to return to class.” “But I won’t say that there is anything miraculous about it,” Nurse McMurphy adds, “Oftentimes a girl will feel better after dropping a large bowel movement like that.” “Yeah! -- Especially when a girl has been holding it in for a while,” Miss Robinson chimes back in, “Yeah! -- While she’s holding it in looking for an excuse to sneak into the nurse’s office to do it.”

But the senior beauty steadfastly maintains her innocence. “I didn’t go there just to use the toilet,” Mallory insists, “I went there because I was feeling nauseous and I went to the bathroom because I thought I was going to throw up.” “I know it might look like I just went there to poop,” she acknowledges, “But I really didn’t have to poop until after I got there.” “I mean, well, I guess I did have to poop the whole time -- I guess that’s really why I was feeling sick and nauseous,” Mallory points out, “But I definitely wasn’t FEELING LIKE I needed to poop when I asked to go to the nurse’s office.” But Miss Robinson just stands there shaking her head at the girl’s story. “If I had felt like I needed to go to the bathroom, I would have asked for permission to go to the bathroom,” Mallory reiterates, “I would have asked to go to the girls‘ room and I would have done it there.” “I know you can get into trouble for going to the nurse’s office just to do that,” she adds.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

This is obviously a tough case to decide -- especially with the school nurse not really being sure about the girl’s guilt. It’s definitely unusual that someone other than the nurse herself would charge a girl for a violation like this.

Looking over Mallory’s toilet record, I see that she’s got violations for exactly this offense back during her freshman and sophomore years. I’m really only supposed to consider prior violations from the current school year, but it’s hard not to consider prior violations for this exact same offense. I’m certainly allowed to ask her about it, though. “Yes sir -- I had some issues with the bathrooms here at school before,” Mallory acknowledges, “Not so much with peeing at school but definitely with the other.” “I used to just try and hold that in until I got home,” she explains. “And then after I had a few accidents and started getting in trouble for those, I got desperate and knew I had to try something else,” the embarrassed senior beauty continues, “And that’s when I tried lying and making excuses to go to the nurse’s office and used the bathroom there.” “But sir,” she continues, “I got over my problems with the school bathrooms.” “Once I first pooped at school, I realized it just wasn’t a big deal,” she explains, “I mean, I’d certainly rather poop at home than at school, but when I have to go at school, I do it now.” “It‘s better than getting punished for going in my pants,” she says, “And it‘s really better than getting punished for going someplace I‘m not supposed to go.” “When I have to go poop at school, I just go to the girls’ room and do it now,” she explains further, “I don’t try to hold it in anymore and I don’t go sneaking around looking for some other place like the nurse’s office to do it.” Faithful readers of the TVPC will surely note, however, that Mallory does have a prior panty-soiling this year -- an accident that happened while she was serving detention and an accident that she punished for at our October 17th TVPC session. She’s also got violations this year for “Using Too Much Toilet Paper” and “Loitering in the Girls’ Room.”

As I indicated, this is a difficult case for the TVPC to decide. Miss Robinson is adamant that the girl is guilty while Mallory is just as adamant that she went to the nurse’s office for legitimate reasons and only needed to “poop” once she was there. Turning again to our school nurse, Miss McMurphy reiterates that she just isn’t sure. “I’m not saying that Miss Robinson is wrong,” Nurse McMurphy states, “Maybe Mallory did come to my office just to do a bowel movement -- I know some girls try to do that sometimes.” “But I just can’t be sure,” she reiterates, “When Mallory first came to my office today, she said she was nauseous and I can’t say for sure that she was lying.” “And it’s not unreasonable, either, that a girl would feel better after doing a bowel movement,” Nurse McMurphy reiterates, “Especially a bowel movement the size of what Mallory did in my toilet.”

After careful consideration, the TVPC finds Mallory “Not Guilty” of the charge. Since Nurse McMurphy cannot be sure of the violation, we have to give the girl the benefit of the doubt. It’s not that I doubt that Miss Robinson is sincere in accusing Mallory of this. It’s just that we really can’t convict someone of improperly using the nurse’s office bathroom without the nurse, at minimum, agreeing that the girl is guilty. Furthermore, Nurse McMurphy’s testimony that oftentimes a girl feels a lot better after dropping a big bowel movement, fully explains how she was able to return to Miss Robinson’s class so quickly afterwards. Mallory is quite happy to found “Not Guilty” of the charge and she thanks the TVPC for believing her. As for Miss Robinson, well……….she’s quite annoyed at the verdict but even more annoyed at Miss McMurphy for not backing her up on this.

Just as I’m about to close this session of the TVPC, it appears we may have one more matter. “Am I too late?” a pretty, middle-aged woman asks as she rushes in the door and heads toward the podium, “Can I still get a case on today’s agenda?” With this woman is a girl I recognize as Lynn, a shy, blonde-haired junior. I assume that the woman with her is Lynn’s mom. “Here! – These are YOURS not mine,” mom angrily states as she hands her daughter a plastic bag, “These are your responsibility not mine.” The woman introduces herself as Mrs. Tanner and tells us that she wishes to report her daughter for a toilet violation. I grant her permission to present the case and I motion for the 2 of them to take the podium.

I expect to hear from Mrs. Tanner, but instead she just stands there glaring at Lynn. “Well, show Mr. Ziffel what you did,” she angrily tells her daughter, pointing to the plastic bag now in her daughter’s hands. Lynn, however, seems very reluctant to do so. “I know you’re embarrassed; That’s the whole point,” mom says, even angrier than before, “I said show Mr. Ziffel what you did.” “B-But mom….,” Lynn pleads before her mother cuts her off.” “I don’t want to hear it,” she tells the girl as angrily as before, “You did it so now you’re going to have to face the consequences.” “Now show Mr. Ziffel what you did,” she orders again, “And if it embarrasses you then maybe you’ll think twice about it the next time you have to go.”

Breaking down into tears, the toilet-troubled junior then reluctantly reaches into the plastic bag and shows us all what’s inside. She shows us a pair of light blue Hanes Her Way panties with a rather substantial load of solid fecal matter mashed up in the lower back fabric of the panties. Looking at them I can see that it is a major bowel movement mess in the panties with further streaks of fecal matter extending all the way up the back of the panties and down into the crotch area. “Well, it certainly appears that somebody made a mess,” I say to Lynn. Still crying, she just bows her head in shame. But her mom just glares at her some more. “I messed in my panties,” Lynn then meekly tells me, staring at the floor, apparently too embarrassed to even look me in the eye. “What was that?” her mom then asks her tauntingly. “I messed in my panties,” Lynn then repeats, this time in a more normal voice as she looks up from the floor. But that apparently still doesn’t satisfy mom. “What was that?” she asks her daughter again. This time her daughter’s frustration overcomes her embarrassment. “I said I messed in my panties – OK? – Is that what you wanted me to say?” she shouts at her mom, “I had an accident – OK?” “I messed in my panties, I messed in my panties, I messed in my panties,” she repeats loudly, highly agitated, “I had an accident and messed in my panties.” “I’m sorry I had an accident,” she yells at her mom, “What more do you want me to say?” “I’m sorry I didn’t go to the bathroom when I should have,” Lynn continues, calming down a bit, “But I can’t change that now.” “If you’re going to ground me or whatever, then just do it already,” she rather defiantly tells her mom, “But this has absolutely nothing to do with school.”

Her last comment raises a few eyebrows amongst members of the TVPC. Of course, I ask her to explain. The toilet-troubled beauty then explains that her accident didn’t actually happen at school but on the way home from school. “All THAT happened on the way home from school,” I ask, a reference to the sheer volume of fecal matter in her panties. Still crying a bit, the obviously still embarrassed junior just nods her head “yes.” I note that if it did happen in school, it would actually be her third one of the current school year. “I thought I could make it home in time,” Lynn explains, “But I guess I had to go a lot worse than I thought and I had an accident instead.” “Yeah – I guess it is kind of a bad accident,” she acknowledges, “I think maybe that’s why I couldn’t hold it in for as long as I thought.” “But nothing happened in my pants until I was already on my way home, Lynn insists, “I mean, it’s obvious that I did have an accident but it’s just that it didn’t actually happen in school.” The point being, of course, that if there was nothing in her panties until she had left school and was off school grounds, the accident is not a matter for the TVPC.

Quite frankly, though, I’m pretty skeptical of the girl’s story and apparently so is her mom. In fact, her mom seems certain that Lynn is lying. “No way,” she states shaking her head, “There’s no way that all that happened in your pants on the way home from school.” “That’s not diarrhea or anything like that – that’s a pretty solid load,” Mrs. Tanner points out, “And it’s not like you’re not used to holding it in, either – You do that all the time.” “Unless you just let it out on purpose, there’s just no way you’d completely lose control of a solid movement like that,” she argues, “Not in just a 15 minute walk home from school.” “No way,” her mom repeats, “I just find it hard to believe that that mess didn’t start well before you left school today.” Mrs. Tanner goes on to further explain that when Lynn came home from school she went running immediately for the bathroom. “At first I didn’t think anything of it,” she explains, “She’s always holding it in at school and she’s always running for the bathroom when she gets home.” But after a while, mom apparently became suspicious. “She was in there a long time and I kept hearing the sink running,” mom continues, “That’s not typically what happens when someone is having a regular bowel movement in the toilet.” “So I banged on the bathroom door and demanded to be let in,” she tells us, “And I caught my daughter red-handed with a mess in her panties.” “She had just finished cleaning herself with a washcloth – That’s why I kept hearing the sink running,” she explains further as she turns and glares at her daughter, “And she was apparently just getting ready to start cleaning out her soiled panties.” Catching her with the accident, her mom then apparently brought Lynn back to school to face the consequences. “Consider yourself lucky I let you bring those panties here in a plastic bag,” she tells her daughter angrily, “I should have made you put them back on and come back here that way.”

But as the TVPC sorts through all the details of this case, I’m not at all sure what those consequences are going to be. No doubt, Lynn will be punished by her mom for this but I’m not sure what the TVPC can do. Questioning Lynn again, the pretty junior blonde swears that there was absolutely no fecal matter in her panties until she left school grounds. “It happened on the way home from school, I swear,” she pleads, “Like I said, I was trying to hold it in until I got home and I just had an accident on the way home.” Mom once again – this time even more angrily than before – tries to rebut her daughter’s claim. “And even if it did happen that way, which it didn’t,” mom says, “It still happened because you didn’t use the toilet in school like she should have.” “Obviously, this wouldn’t have happened if she’d just have used the girls’ room in school like she’s supposed to do,“ Mrs. Tanner argues, “Obviously, it wouldn’t have happened if she wasn’t holding it in school for as long as she did.“ “This was no doubt an accident because of her failure to use the girls’ room in school when she should have,” the pretty blonde-haired mom argues further, “This is as much a school-related panty-soiling as any accident she’s had in school.” “Just because it didn’t actually happen in school is no reason that she should escape punishment for what she did,” she adds.

Mom’s point is well-taken – there’s no argument at all but that this is entirely Lynn’s fault and it certainly did happen (as it usually does with Lynn) because Lynn refused to do it in the girls’ room here at school. But that alone can’t be the basis for her getting punished by the TVPC. “The TVPC simply has no authority to punish girls for accidents that happen on the way home from school,” I tell Mrs. Tanner and note for the record, “I’m not saying that Lynn doesn’t deserve to get punished for this -- I’m just saying that the TVPC has no power to do so.” And though I’m skeptical of the girl’s story about how it happened, mom’s intuition that it did happen at school (or at least happened in part at school), isn’t enough to punish her, either.

But obviously, I doubt that Lynn is going to escape punishment for this entirely. “I’m afraid you’ll just have to handle Lynn’s punishment yourself,” I explain to Mrs. Tanner, “But I have no doubt that you’ll be able to handle that.” “Oh! – You bet I will,” she tells us, again angrily glaring at her daughter, “She’ll obviously be one very sorry young lady when I’m done with her.” “We can start with a month’s grounding,” she then tells her daughter, “And just because you’re not getting lines to write from Mr. Ziffel don’t think you won’t get them from me.” “This is the third time in school already this year,” she reminds Lynn, “And that doesn’t even include the one you did at the movies two weeks ago.” “That’s disgusting, Lynn!; That’s just disgusting!!” she admonishes Lynn some more, this time pointing at the girl’s badly loaded panties, “Shame on you; Just shame on you.”

But as I noted, this is not a matter for the TVPC and accordingly, the two of them are dismissed. Lynn, of course, ordered to take her soiled panties with her.

So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:11 PM.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Nicole's Punishment Essay

Name: Nicole

TVPC Punishment Essay

Offense: Not Lifting Up the Toilet Seat While Squatting

Offense Date: November 5, 2019

Length: 1,000 Words

Due Date: November 12, 2019

I am writing this essay because it is my punishment for improperly using the toilet in the girls’ room at school. I am writing this essay to help me learn the proper way to use the toilet at school. I must learn to follow all the rules about using the toilet in school because it’s the right thing to do and because if I don’t I will have to write more punishment essays and do other punishments at well.

I am being punished for improperly using the toilet because I used the toilet by squatting over it without first lifting up the toilet seat. As I wrote, I must use the toilet properly and that, of course, means following all the rules about squatting over the toilet when I use it. The rules do allow girls to use the toilet from a squatting position and that’s how I do it most of the time. But the rules say that when we do squat over the toilet, we need to lift up the toilet seat first. When we squat over the toilet instead of sitting down on the seat, the toilet seat must be placed in the upright position. Therefore when I decide to squat over the toilet rather than sit on the toilet seat, I must remember to lift up the toilet seat first. When I squat and urinate, I must first place the toilet seat in an upright position, so in case I miss and don’t get all my pee in the toilet, the toilet seat will not get wet. And when I squat and defecate, it’s even more important that the toilet seat be in an upright position, so in case I miss with that, the toilet seat will not get messed up from my defecation. It is important that I follow all the rules when I use the toilet in school and that requires that if I decide to squat rather than sit all the way down, I lift up the toilet seat first.

It is important that I follow all the rules about using the toilet in school because there are a lot of girls using the toilets in school everyday. I need to be considerate of other girls and make sure that I do not do anything that would interfere with their ability to use the girls’ room in school. It is important that I lift up the toilet seat when I squat to pee (or poop) so that the toilet seat does not get wet (or soiled). When girls go to use the girls’ room in school and do not sit down on the toilet seat, they shouldn’t have to worry about sitting down on a wet (or even worse) messy toilet seat. And, most certainly, when they do sit all the way down on the toilet seat, they deserve to have a clean and dry toilet seat to sit on. I know I would absolutely hate to sit down on either a wet or messy toilet seat and in using the toilet from a squatting position I have a responsibility to the other girls in the school to do everything possible to make sure I don’t wet or mess on the toilet seat. I am getting punished now because I didn’t lift up the toilet seat when I should have. I understand that in the future if I fail to lift up the toilet seat when I squat, I will be punished again and each time I fail to lift up the toilet seat I will be punished more severely. In the future I will make sure I do lift up the toilet seat when I squat over the toilet. I will do that not only to avoid being punished but, more importantly, because it’s the right thing to do.

When I squat over the toilet to pee, it’s also important that I make sure to get all of my pee in the toilet. The rule where I have to pick up the toilet seat first is because we don’t want girls wetting on the toilet seat. But that’s only a matter of being more careful. Even with the toilet seat up, it’s still not an excuse for a girl to pee someplace other than in the toilet. By that I mean that girls must pee completely in the toilet. When I squat to pee, I must be careful to make sure that I don’t pee on the rim of the toilet, or down the sides of the toilet, or even on the floor in front of the toilet. Obviously, it’s very disgusting for a girl to have to use a toilet where there is pee on the toilet itself or on the floor in front of the toilet. I am only allowed to pee from a squatting position if I’m able to do that and still get all my pee in the toilet. If I’m not able to have good enough aim to get all my pee in the toilet, I must sit all the way down on the toilet seat when I pee. And when it comes to going to the bathroom the other way, it’s even more important to get it all in the toilet. It’s bad when there is pee all over the toilet or on the floor but it’s even worse when a girl misses the toilet and gets fecal matter on the floor and on the toilet itself. So it’s very important not only that I lift the toilet seat up when I squat over the toilet but that whenever I do squat, regardless of what bodily function it is, I manage to get it all in the toilet.

In writing this essay, I accept my responsibility to follow all the rules when using the girls’ room at school. I understand that a lot of girls have to use the girls’ rooms here every day and we must all be careful to keep the girls’ rooms clean and in good working order. When I decide to squat over the toilet rather than sitting all the way down on the toilet seat, I must remember to lift up the toilet seat first. I promise that in the future I will do that and I will follow all the rules about properly using the girls’ room in school.

[spandexman]

Thank you

Great report as always Arnold. Happy holidays ..