REPOST: Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of Friday, November 15, 2019.

Our session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) today begins with 2 matters from yesterday. These are apparently 2 accident cases that occurred in detention -- specifically, a long detention with Dr. Flower -- after the close of yesterday’s TVPC session. Abby, a very bright and pretty “Goth Girl” is charged with wetting her pants in that detention while Zoey, another pretty and very bright honor student is charged with messing in hers. Dr. Flower, of course, is one of our best and brightest Science teachers. She mainly teachers our best Science students and is known for being very strict. Her students usually know better than to fool around in her class because she’s known for her very long and decidedly unpleasant detention sessions. Apparently, several of her students slacked off a bit for a substitute teacher on Monday and then found themselves in detention -- writing the name of every element on the Periodic Table 25 times -- on Tuesday. And, as you might expect, Dr. Flower doesn’t give girls’ room passes during her detention sessions.

Taking Abby and her panty-wetting first, she pleads “Guilty” but still blames Dr. Flower for what happened. “Obviously, I did do it,” the pretty senior admits, “So that makes me guilty, I guess.” “But I just think it’s wrong not to let us go to the bathroom when we need to,” Abby says, “It’s one thing to punish us with detention but I just don’t think it’s right to not let us go use the toilet.” But Dr. Flower remains firm. “You know what my rules are, Abby,” she tells the smart and pretty Goth Girl, “You know that when you have detention with me you sit and write and that’s all you do.” “Obviously, I expect my girls to be smart enough to do what you need to do before you come to one of my detentions.” “Did you even bother to go to the girls’ room before you reported for detention yesterday?” she asks Abby, “I mean, I don’t think you even made it an hour and a half into the detention before you wet your pants.”

Abby, though, claims that she did go to the girls’ room before detention. “I peed -- I peed a lot,” she says, “And I went the other way, too.” “But I had to pee again when I was in detention,” she explains, “What can I say, I had to go again -- I guess I just have a small bladder or something.” But Dr. Flower just smiles and shakes her head. “That’s not the problem, Abby,” she tells the girl, “And I think you know that that’s not the problem.” “Judging by the puddle you left on my floor, you OBVIOUSLY don’t have a small bladder,” Dr. Flower tells her, “Judging by the volume of your accident yesterday, I’d say you have a more than adequate sized bladder.” “It really doesn’t take an investigator from NCIS or something to figure out what the problem was, young lady,” the strict Science teacher explains, “With all those big gulp sodas you drink, it’s a wonder you don’t wet your pants more than you do.” Abby has had somewhat numerous panty-wetting violations throughout her high school career and this is already her second one this school year. “Those big gulps keep me going,” Abby -- a whirling dervish of perpetual motion -- explains, “Some girls drink a lot of coffee to keep going but I get my caffeine from those sodas.” “Maybe you should try coffee instead,” the strict Science teacher suggests, “At least those other girls don’t wet all over my floor like you did.”

“Well, it wouldn’t have happened if you’d have just let me go to the girls’ room when I asked,” the senior Science whiz (so to speak) points out. “I still don’t know why you couldn’t just let me go when I needed to,” Abby tells her teacher, “It wasn’t that I asking to be let off from punishment or something -- It’s not like I wouldn’t still have had my writing to do.” “It would only have taken me 2 or 3 minutes to go to the girls’ room and come back,” she argues, “It took a lot longer than that to have me go get paper towels and clean up the puddle on the floor.” But Dr. Flower counters that that’s not the point. “There are rules and the rules are to be followed,” the strict Science teacher reiterates, “And I’d have thought you were smart enough to know that by now.” “When you don’t behave and do your work in class you get detention,” she reminds Abby, “And when you get detention you sit and write and don’t get lavatory privileges.” “Detention is supposed to be a punishment, young lady,” she continues, “If it weren’t unpleasant, it really wouldn’t much of a punishment, would it?” “Perhaps instead of asking me to adjust the rules of detention for you, you adjust to the fact that you’ve got detention,” she suggests to Abby, “Maybe next time you’re going to be in detention and know you’re not going to the girls’ room for a while, you’ll lay off those big gulp sodas.”

With that, Abby is left with nothing more to say or perhaps simply realizes that arguing further is pointless. But out of the corner of my eye I see Blossom -- another ace Science student -- has her hand raised. As I understand it, she was also in the same detention with Abby and Zoey, but apparently didn’t have any toileting problems. She’s not charged with a toilet violation today but is here serving detention for defecating in a clogged toilet 2 days ago. “Look sir, I realize that we’re all in high school and it’s, of course, our responsibility to handle our bodily functions,” Blossom says, “But these super long detentions with Dr. Flower have really become a problem.” “It’s one thing not to let us go to the girls’ room when it’s a one hour detention or even two hours -- If we go before detention we really should be able to hold it in that long,” the articulate senior acknowledges, “But when Dr. Flower makes us stay longer than that, it really can be a problem sometimes.” Blossom explains that even though she went to the girls’ room before reporting to detention (apparently to urinate), she ended up having to go both ways kind of bad before the detention was over. “I mean, I wouldn’t call it an emergency or anything -- It wasn’t like I was on the verge of having an accident myself,” she explains, “But I did have to go kind of bad and it was really uncomfortable holding it in like I had to do.” She also mentions another girl -- another pretty and very bright senior named Jessie -- who did have an emergency. “Jessie had to go both ways and before our detention was over she had a real emergency for #2,” Blossom explains. “If the detention had been even a little longer, Jessie probably would have messed in her panties,” Blossom explains further, “She was really SAVED BY THE BELL when it was over and she could go finally go to the girls’ room.”

Directing the well-spoken senior beauty back to the point, Blossom reiterates that the longer detentions really should come with bathroom breaks. “As I said, it’s one thing not to allow a bathroom break during a 1 or 2 hour detention,” she says, “But for a 3 hour detention like Dr. Flower gives, we really need one.” “The principal has 3 hour detentions, too, but they get a bathroom break if they need one,” she points out, “And those Saturday Detentions come with a bathroom break in the middle, too.” I have to say that Blossom does have a point but it’s not really appropriate for the TVPC to discus that now. “This would be something you could bring up at the rules committee discussion at the end of the year,” I suggest, “But as for now, when Dr. Flower gives a detention, it’s Dr. Flower who sets the rules for that detention.”

Getting back to Abby and her panty-wetting, Dr. Flower argues for the maximum punishment. “I know it was only a wetting, but it was a very bad wetting,” the strict Science teacher says, “She not only wet her pants and her seat, but she got it all over the floor.” “In fact, I think she actually wet herself twice yesterday afternoon,” Dr. Flower continues, “Not only did she go all over the floor initially but I think she wet herself even more towards the end of detention.” “If it were up to me, I’d charge her with 2 wetting violations,” the pretty but bookwormish Science teacher argues. Looking down in shame, Abby does admit that she had to pee again towards the end of detention and did wet her pants some more before finally getting to the girls’ room and doing the rest in the toilet. Fortunately for her, though, TVPC rules only consider this a single accident. “As long as she only wets in the same pair of panties, it only counts as one panty-wetting violation,” I explain and note for the record, “Only if she’d have changed clothes and then wet again would that have been a separate violation.”

Dr. Flower does have a point, though, about this being a particularly severe violation. That typically would be grounds for Abby getting an enhanced punishment. But I also note that Abby has a good toilet record with a prior panty-wetting being her only prior toilet violation so far this school year. And I also consider the circumstances of this panty-wetting. While only an hour and a half into the detention isn’t really all that long -- and Abby certainly should be responsible enough to hold it in that long -- the accident did only happen because she was not allowed to go to the girls’ room when she needed to.
Accordingly, it all pretty much balances out and I sentence the senior Science Whiz to 2 hours of detention and having to write “I will not wet my pants in school again” 200 times.

Moving on to the second accident case from yesterday’s detention, we have a girl named Zoey. Zoey, another quite pretty and very bright senior with BLACKISH hair, stand accused of Panty-Soiling. Like Abby, Zoey was apparently stuck in Dr. Flower’s long detention needing to go quite badly, but in Zoey’s case it was a bowel movement that she needed to do and it was that bowel movement that ultimately ended up in the senior beauty’s underwear. She’s another girl with a good toilet record -- this is her first toilet violation of any kind since her sophomore year and her first accident violation since a panty-wetting violation way back when she was a freshman. And she is -- to say the least -- quite upset and angry about what happened.

“Do you have any idea how disgusting this was? -- Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a mess in your panties?” she angrily asks Dr. Flower, “Do you have any idea what it’s like to have to just there in detention holding it in until you just can’t hold it in anymore?” “It’s one thing to make us stay for detention and make us waste time doing a stupid writing assignment,” Zoey continues at her strict Science teacher, “I guess you can say we deserved that for slacking off in class.” “But it’s just cruel -- It’s just completely cruel not to let us go to the bathroom when we really need to,” she argues, “Nobody deserves to be forced to mess in her panties.”

Dr. Flower, though, takes exception to the that. “No one forced you or Abby to go in your pants,” she tells Zoey, “Like I said to her, you girls just need to learn to be more responsible with your bodily functions.” “Did you even bother to stop in the girls’ room before reporting for detention?” she asks the senior beauty. But Zoey argues that that’s not the point. “I didn’t have to go before detention,” she tells Dr. Flower. “I did pee after 7th period, but that’s obviously not what the problem was,” she says, “I didn’t have to pee again until I got home so that obviously wasn’t the problem.” “I didn’t have to go the other way before detention, either,” the articulate senior beauty reiterates, “But I certainly did have to go once detention started.” “I’m sorry but I can’t always predict when I’m going to have to go #2,” Zoey says, “Sometimes it comes kind of sudden and I just can’t hold it in through 3 hours of detention.” And I shouldn’t HAVE TO hold it in that long, either,” she continues, glaring at Dr. Flower in the process, “Like I said before, it’s just cruel to make a girl sit there and try to hold it in when she really has to go that bad.” Zoey points out that she was able to make it through most of the 3-hour detention holding it in, but just couldn’t make it through to the end. Dr. Flower confirms that Zoey did indeed make it through most of the detention and only had her accident near the end. “I almost made it,” Zoey says, “Do you have any idea what it’s like to almost make it to the end and then lose control and mess your panties with like 15 minutes left in the detention.” “I told you I had to go -- I told you it was an emergency,” she rants at Dr. Flower, “I told you that if you didn’t let me go, I was going to mess in my panties.” “It’s cruel not to let someone go when she really needs to,” Zoey reiterates, now starting to cry, “It’s just cruel to make a girl sit there and mess in her panties.”

But Dr. Flower, while I’m sure not completely unsympathetic to Zoey’s situation, doesn’t seem willing to change her rules about no bathroom passes during detention -- even when it’s one of her trademark 3-hour detentions. Instead, she suggest Zoey look on the bright side. “You’re not even going to be punished for the accident,” Dr. Flower points out, “You really shouldn’t be so upset about it.” “It’s only your first accident of the school year and you’ve got no other violations,” she reminds Zoey, “You only get a warning for this and no actual punishment.” But Zoey doesn’t quite see it that way. “I don’t care about the punishment -- the real punishment is the accident itself,” Zoey says, still upset and crying, “The punishment is having the mess in your panties and having to deal with it -- That’s worse than any punishment you guys could give me.” “Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? -- Do you have any idea how shameful that is for a girl my age?” she goes on, “Do you have any idea what it feels like walking around like that? -- Do you have any idea what it’s like having to tell your mom what you did?” Zoey goes on to tell us about having to clan up the mess when she got home -- having to wipe herself clean of the mess, having to shake out her panties in the toilet and then having to scrub them clean in the sink. “It was awful,” she tells us, “It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.” “That’s why we’re supposed to go in the toilet when we need to,” she turns and angrily tells Dr. Flower, “That’s why you’re supposed to let us go use the toilet when we need to.”

Immediately I grab my gavel and bang it. There’s no reason to let this turn into a debate or an argument. But Dr. Flower is only partially correct about their being no punishment for Zoey in this case. She is right about Zoey not being punished for this, but it’s not even a matter of it being her first accident and her first toilet violation overall. Faithful readers of the TVPC should know about the TVPC’s “2-hour rule.” I’m surprised that Dr. Flower doesn’t remember this rule because it’s been an issue in her 3-hour detentions before. “The panty-soiling happened because Zoey was denied access to a bathroom for more than 2 hours,” I explain and note for the record, “Under the TVPC’s ’2-hour rule’ the accident is classified as ’excused’.” With that comes a look of acknowledgement from Dr. Flower but a look of confusion from Zoey. “It means it’s not even considered a panty-soiling on your toilet record,” I explain to the senior honor student, “It’s not even a warning -- You’re considered not even to have an accident at all.” Zoey nods in acceptance of that and shrugs her shoulders. “I guess that’s something,” she says matter-of-factly, “Too bad you can’t erase the shame and disgust of what I went through, too.”

[Arnold Ziffel]

REPOST: Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Moving on to accident cases from today, I’m disappointed to see Millie, a quiet and studious junior, charged with soiling her panties. Faithful readers of the TVPC may recall Millie, a quintessential geek on the FREAKS AND GEEKS scale, from a special session last summer when Millie was before us for wetting her bed at Band Camp. That accident was also “excused” based on the TVPC’s rules on bedwetting. Since then, though, Millie has had a soiling accident in gym class 2 weeks ago and apparently another soiling in History class today. The previous one only got Millie a warning as it was her first accident offense and her first toilet violation of the school year. But for this one, of course, Millie is indeed facing punishment.

Miss Bliss, Millie’s 6th period Social Studies teacher, is here having filed the Violation Report charging her with the “Panty-Soiling.” “I can’t be sure if it actually first happened in my class or perhaps the period before,” the kindly History teacher explains, “I just know that whichever was the case, she went in her pants a lot worse in my class.” “I could tell that something was wrong by the way Millie was walking when she first came in,” Miss Bliss continues, “She was walking stiff-legged like she either had something in her pants already or that she really had to go and was desperately trying to hold it in.” “At that point, I was really hoping that she was only holding it in and hadn’t messed in her panties yet,” Miss Bliss tells us. “I offered to let her go to the girls’ room,” she explains further, “In fact, I didn’t even ask her if she had to go -- I just told her that she should go to the girls’ room immediately.” “But Millie just told me that she didn’t have to go,” Miss Bliss adds, glaring across at the timid junior in the process, “As I said, before Mr. Chairman, I’m not sure if she only had to go or if her panties were a little soiled already, but even if there were already some in her panties, she obviously still had to go a lot worse.” “It wasn’t even halfway into class when Millie did a whole lot more in her panties,” Miss Bliss points out, “By then it was quite a big load in her panties and it became obvious what she’d done.”

Turning now to Millie, she’s obviously quite embarrassed by her teacher’s description of her panty-soiling accident and she’s having trouble fighting back the tears. The load is still in her panties intact -- it doesn’t look like she’s tried to clean up in the girls’ room at all -- and it’s causing an obvious bulge in the seat of even her loose-fitting jeans. Obviously ashamed, she offers nothing in her defense and nothing to contradict the description from Miss Bliss about what happened. “I’m sorry, sir,” she says, as the tears start to flow, “I’m really sorry for going in my pants.” But I, on the other hand, am really concerned about her having had 2 such accidents already this school year. “I remember when you were having a lot of problems with this when you were a freshman,” I remind the shy and quiet junior, “I remember you having quite a few accidents that year -- I remember when you wouldn’t do that particular function at school at all.” But I also commend her on how much better she did in that regard last year. “As I recall, you did have 2 such accidents last year as a sophomore,” I remind her, “But considering all that you did as a freshman, I’d certainly have to consider that a big improvement.” “But now you’ve already got 2 accidents this year and it’s only October, Millie,” I point out to her, “I’m really concerned that you’re having issues again with doing your bowel movements in the girls’ room at school.”

But Millie insists that that’s not the case. She insists that she does go at school when she needs to. She says that even though she has had 2 accidents already, she’s actually done it in the toilet in the girls’ room 3 times already this school year. “I still don’t like doing that particular thing in the girls’ rooms here at school,” she tells me, “But I know that sometimes I just have to.” “Well, I’m certainly glad to hear that, Millie,” I tell her sympathetically, “But that doesn’t really explain how you’ve gotten 2 panty-soiling violations as well.” “Yes sir,” she meekly acknowledges. She goes on to explain that it’s less a matter of not wanting to go at school at all but more of a matter of which particular girls’ room to do it in. “I don’t know, sir, but I just don’t like doing it in certain bathrooms,” she says. “I can manage if I’m in one of the nicer girls’ rooms upstairs,” she explains, “But not in some of the other girls’ rooms -- they’re just gross.” I note that her prior panty-soiling accident this year happened in gym class. “I don’t suppose the girls’ locker room bathroom is one that you’d consider one of the nicer ones?” I ask. “That’s one of the worst ones, sir,” she says, “I know I was desperate to go but I just couldn’t make myself go in there -- not #2.” She says, just as she said when she was here 2 weeks ago on that, that she was trying to hold it in until she could use the girls’ room in the New Addition next period. “But I just couldn’t make it, sir,” she acknowledges ashamedly, “I just couldn’t hold it in that long -- especially in gym class.” “And that’s what happened this time, too, sir,” she explains, “I really was wanting to do it in the girls’ room today but I just didn’t make it.”

Miss Bliss, though, is left just shaking her head at that last comment. “Well, Millie, if you really wanted to do it in the girls’ room it shouldn’t have been that hard to accomplish,” she tells the girl, “What you do is simply go to the nearest girls’ room, find a toilet to do it in, pull down your pants, sit down, and then actually do it.” “I knew you had to go and I told you that you should go,” she reminds Millie, “And don’t tell me that it was all about using a particular bathroom because my classroom is only a few doors down from the New Addition girls’ room which you said last time that you were willing to use.” “I told you that you didn’t even have to ask permission to go, Millie -- I told you that you could just get up and go if you needed to,” she angrily lectures the shy junior beauty, “But you just sat there in class and messed in your panties instead.” “I’m sorry if I’m upsetting you, Millie,” she tells her, as Millie starts to cry, “But I gave you every opportunity to use the girls’ room -- and that was a girls’ room you said you were willing to use -- but you still decided to just mess in your panties instead.”

But Millie, through her tears, explains that it really wasn’t like that. She apologizes profusely to Miss Bliss. “I’m sorry, Miss Bliss,” she says, as she breaks down into a river of tears. “I’m so sorry -- I know you were trying to help me,” she says, her tears really pouring out now, “You’re about the nicest teacher in the whole school -- I’m so sorry for doing what I did -- I’m so sorry for messing my panties in your class.” Miss Bliss -- indeed one of the nicest teachers in the whole school -- then apologizes for her harsh words to Millie before. “I’m sorry, too, Millie,” she tells the girl, “I didn’t mean to sound so harsh but I just don’t want to see you getting in trouble for going in your pants.” “I just want to see you use the girls’ room when you need to, Millie,” she tells her sympathetically, “It’s just silly to keep getting yourself punished for accidents when you can avoid all that by simply using the toilet when you need to.”

Giving Millie a moment to compose herself, the poor girl then admits that she already had a mess in her panties by the time she walked into Miss Bliss’s class. “I know I still had to go and I’m sorry I went in my pants worse later on in class,” she tells the kindly Social Studies teacher, “But there was already a little in my panties when you came up to me and told me that I needed to go to the girls’ room.” “And you didn’t want to go to the girls’ room and pull down your panties with a mess already in them?” Miss Bliss asks. “Yes, Ma’am,” she answers.

Actually, that does explain things a bit, but unfortunately it raises another issue with Millie’s accident. I note that Millie has lunch 5th period before she has Social Studies with Miss Bliss 6th period. “This happened because you didn’t want to use the girls’ room across from the school cafeteria?” I ask Millie. “Yes sir,” Millie acknowledges. “You were trying to hold it in during your lunch period, so you could go use a different bathroom during Social Studies next period?” I ask her further. “Yes sir,” Millie acknowledges again, “But unfortunately, I couldn’t quite hold it in that long and I didn’t make it to Miss Bliss’ class in time.” Unfortunately for Millie, though, and as faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, starting last year the TVPC instituted additional punishment for girls having soiling accidents in the cafeteria at lunchtime. As much as I hate to upset Millie further -- she really is a sweet girl and not really a frequent offender as to toilet violations -- I have to raise this issue with her.

Millie, though, denies that it actually happened in the cafeteria. She insists that it only happened on her way upstairs to Miss Bliss’ class after her lunch period was over. “I didn’t do it in the cafeteria,” she says, “I held it in all through lunch but I just couldn’t hold it in any further to get upstairs to Social Studies.” That explanation, though, is one that I find very hard to believe. Millie, though, insists that it’s true. “I had to go really bad by the end of the period, but I was sitting on the edge of my chair and I was keeping it in,” she says adamantly, “It was only when I got up that I started to lose control and it was only as I was walking up the stairs that I couldn’t completely control it and some of it came out in my panties.” “Really, sir -- that’s how it happened, I swear,” she tells me, “Really, sir -- nothing came out in my panties while I was still in the cafeteria.” Upon further questioning from me, she swears that not even a little bit came out in her panties while she was still at lunch.

Quite frankly, I’m still skeptical about that but Miss Bliss seems to believe her. “I’ve never known Millie to lie, Mr. Chairman,” the pretty Social Studies teacher tells me, “I’ve certainly known her to have some toileting issues but I’ve never known her to lie about an accident or anything else.” Miss Bliss also seems to back up Millie’s story about how it happened. “I can’t tell for certain whether any of it happened in the cafeteria or whether it only happened on the way to my class,” Miss Bliss explains, “But I do know that her accident wasn’t very bad at all when she first got to my class.” “In fact, I really didn’t think she’d had an accident at all at that point,” she explains further, “I thought she was walking like that because she just had to go bad and was holding it in.” The point being, of course, is if the accident wasn’t bad at this point, maybe it really had just happened. “Of course, it wasn’t much later when it got a whole lot worse,” Miss Bliss adds -- looking at Millie, “Not too long into class, there was no doubt she’d done a mess in her panties.”

Miss Bliss makes a good point and I, too, have never known Millie to lie. But I also give her one last chance to change her story in case the first part of her accident actually did happen in the cafeteria at lunchtime. “The extra punishment you’d get for that is simply a 500 word essay and 1 week of having to sit at a special table in the cafeteria for girls who’ve messed their panties at lunch,” I explain, “If you did do it, it really would be best to just admit to it now.” “If you lie about it now and we find out about it later, your punishment is going to be a whole lot worse,” I warn her, “You’ll not only do that punishment, but we’ll have to tack on an even worse punishment for lying.” But Millie remains firm that the accident only happened after she’d already left the cafeteria and was on her way to Miss Bliss’ class upstairs.

“O.K. -- I’ll take your word on that,” I tell her. With that I only punish her for a regular panty-soiling. It’s her second one of the school year, but I also account for the fact that it was a particularly severe one and that she ignored Miss Bliss’ urging to go to the girls’ room. While that would not have prevented the accident entirely, it certainly would have lessened the severity of the mess. Accordingly, I sentence her to 3 hours of detention and to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 250 times.

For our next case we have Maddie, an athletic and outgoing sophomore. She is charged with clogging a toilet -- Specifically, a toilet in the girls’ locker room. Maddie, a rising star on our highly-regarded girls’ basketball team, has, however, pleaded “Not Guilty” to the offense. Looking at the Violation Report in this case -- filed by Miss Musso -- I note that Maddie is NOT charged with clogging the toilet on purpose (that would be a serious offense punishable by a possible toilet suspension) but she is charged with a Category #3 clogging. A Category #3 clogging is, as faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, is clogging the toilet with toilet paper only. That is, of course, more serious than clogging a toilet with just a bowel movement only or clogging it with a combination of a bowel movement and toilet paper.

Turning now to Maddie, the blonde-haired beauty admits that she used the toilet in the girls’ locker room earlier today but denies that she clogged the toilet. “I didn’t clog it -- I just didn’t,” she says, “I don’t know why Miss Musso thinks that I did.” “As I said, I did use the toilet before gym class -- I had a bowel movement,” Maddie tells us, “But it all went down without any problems.” “Ewww!” comes an animated comment from the crowd. Looking over, I see that specifically it comes from a girl sitting along “Defendants’ Row” awaiting her turn before the TVPC. “Ewww!,” she says again, “Just ewww!” The perpetually good-natured Maddie just shakes her head and smiles. The comment came from Maddie’s twin sister Liv. LIV AND MADDIE are identical twins but while Maddie is a topnotch athlete and not really much into fashion and girly-girl stuff, Liv is a prissy princess concerned mainly about her looks and her clothes. Maddie is certainly a pretty girl in her own right -- quite a natural beauty -- but just doesn’t pay all that much attention to her looks. Liv, on the other hand, is a fashion diva of the highest order. Though a sophomore, this is actually Liv’s first year at our school. The past 3 years, she was working as an actress on a sitcom and got her schooling on the set of the show. But in spite of being so prissy and delicate (much unlike her sister), she’s quite a friendly and likeable sort just the same.

Turning to her for a moment, I ask her about here editorial comments on her sister’s case. “Ewww! -- Just ewww!” she reiterates. “How would do THAT in the bathroom in the girls’ locker room,” she says, an exaggerated look of disgust on her face. The “that” she was referring to is apparently her sister having a bowel movement in there. “I mean, it’s bad enough that you’d do THAT in school at all,” Liv turns and tells Maddie, “But doing THAT in the girls’ locker room -- Ewww! -- Just ewww!” “Well, it’s certainly better than doing it in your pants,” Maddie answers right back. “But it’s not better than holding it in until you get home,” Liv then answers that comment. But Maddie just shakes her head at the notion of that. “Especially during basketball season, I’m sometimes here practically all day,” Maddie tells her sister, “I doubt if I could hold it in that long even if I wanted to.” “Well, I’d make myself hold it in -- I’d find a way,” the ever prissy Liv tells Maddie, “When it comes to doing THAT, I’d just prefer our own bathroom at home.” “Well, obviously I’d PREFER our bathroom at home -- I think everyone would PREFER to do THAT in their own bathroom at home,” Maddie says, “But I just don’t get what the big deal is about going at school when you need to.”

[Arnold Ziffel]

REPOST: Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

The banter between the identical but very different twin sisters is certainly entertaining -- I keep thinking they could make a TV show out of it -- but I must refocus the discussion back to Maddie’s alleged toilet clogging. Once again, Maddie denies that she clogged it. “As I said,” she reiterates, “I did use the toilet there but I just flushed it all down without any problems.” She acknowledges that she has clogged the toilet at home a few times but that’s only because their toilet at home has a weak flush. “But I’ve never clogged a toilet at school,” she asserts, “Not with the power flushes these toilets have.” She also points out that Miss Musso didn’t actually see her clogging the toilet. Reading the Violation Report filed by Miss Musso in this case I note the same. But still, the sexy gym teacher and Cheerleading Coach has brought an interesting case.

Turning to Miss Musso, I, of course ask her why she believes it was Maddie who clogged that toilet in the girls’ locker room today. The sexy gym teacher tells us that she and Maddie were actually in the girls’ locker room bathroom together. “I was in there having a bowel movement myself this afternoon,” Miss Musso explains, “And Maddie was in the stall next to me doing the same.” Maddie was in the stall where the clogged toilet was,” the spandex-clad gym teacher is quick to point out. “I was in a hurry and I finished first and was out of there by the time Maddie was done,” she continues, “So I can’t say that I actually saw the clogged toilet when she came out of the stall.” “But I know she was having a bowel movement in that last stall by the wall,” Miss Musso explains further, “And then not too long later, Miss Mars discovered that the toilet was clogged.” Hearing that, I can’t say that it convinces me that the toilet clogger was Maddie. “I mean, it certainly could have been Maddie,” I tell Coach Musso, “But I’m not sure that what you’re telling me is PROOF that it was her.” “We really don’t know that it wasn’t someone else who did it,” I argue, “Someone who perhaps used the toilet between when Maddie did and when Miss Mars discovered that the toilet was clogged.” But Miss Musso points out that it is a bit unusual for a girl to be doing a bowel movement in the girls’ locker room bathroom. “Most girls really just go in there to urinate -- They typically go use a different bathroom when they have to do a bowel movement,” she argues, “I mean, obviously it does happen that girls do do it in there, but most girls would really rather do it someplace else.” “And here we know that Maddie did do a bowel movement in there,” she argues further, “And we also definitely know that she did it in the same toilet that wound up clogged a little while later.” “That doesn’t just seem like a coincidence to me, “she reasons, “That seems to me like Maddie is the one who clogged the toilet.” “I mean, I’m certainly not saying that she clogged it on purpose,” Miss Musso clarifies, “I’m just saying that maybe she got a little careless -- Perhaps she was in a hurry before gym class -- and flushed a little too much toilet paper all at once.”

But Maddie still vehemently denies it was her. She still claims that she simply used the toilet and there weren’t any problems. “I just used the toilet, wiped myself, and then flushed it all down,” the pretty blonde insists, “I don’t know who clogged the toilet but it definitely wasn’t me.” Maddie also asks about the clogging itself. “You said that the clog was with toilet paper only?” she asks, “I obviously didn’t just flush a bunch of toilet paper down -- I obviously flushed down my bowel movement as well.” But Miss Musso speculates that Maddie simply used 2 separate toilet flushes. “I’m thinking that you flushed your bowel movement first before you went about wiping yourself,” she reasons, “The bowel movement itself went down fine but then, in the second flush, the toilet paper got clogged. “You do do that sometimes, don’t you?” Miss Musso asks, “That is, use a first flush to get your bowel movement done and then go about wiping yourself?” Maddie then admits that sometimes she does but simply didn’t do it that way this time. “Sometimes I do have really large bowel movements -- Especially during basketball season when I work out a lot and eat a lot,” she explains, “I do flush those bowel movements first to try and avoid clogging the toilet.” “But that’s not what happened this time,” she explains further, “This was just a nice regular bowel movement and it was no problem flushing it together with the toilet paper.”

“Maddie definitely wouldn’t be clogging the toilet with just toilet paper,” Liv chimes back in. “Clogging it with one of her monster poops I could believe -- She does that all the time at home,” Liv continues, “But she definitely wouldn’t be clogging it with just toilet paper.” “That’s the LAST thing that I’d ever expect of Maddie,” she adds. Liv goes on to tell us that Maddie barely wipes herself when she uses the toilet. “I don’t think she even wipes herself at all when she pees,” Liv says, “And she barely does even when it’s the other.” Not surprisingly, Maddie takes exception to that. “I do, too, wipe myself when I pee,” Maddie insists, “And I wipe myself just fine when I have bowel movements, too.” “Just because I don’t use half a roll each time like you do,” she tells her prissy sister, “Doesn’t mean I don’t clean myself properly.” “Who was it that got caught with skidmarks in her panties when mom was doing laundry last week?” Maddie taunts Liv, although I think the point is more intended for the rest of us, “I won’t tell you who it was -- I just look at them and whistle. Maddie then, of course, looks at her sister and whistles. The remark causes more than a few giggles in the assembled crowd and the ever prissy Liv seems more than a little embarrassed. Admittedly, I found it hard not to giggle myself. Liv then explains that the skidmarks were not actually from not wiping properly but from barely managing to hold in a bowel movement until she got home from school. Actually, I’m not sure which of the two things is worse, but I have no desire to debate that now. Instead, I bang my gavel and admonish both girls to be quiet. “That’s enough from each of you,” I tell them, “The TVPC has a case to decide and it’s not an easy one.”

Miss Musso does present an interesting case and it’s perfectly understandable why she thinks that it was indeed Maddie who clogged the toilet. But Maddie also seems quite sincere in her denials. As the members of the TVPC discuss this very difficult case, I note that Liz has her hand raised and is requesting to speak. At first, I try to ignore it as we’ve heard plenty from her already. But she persists in trying to get my attention and this time she seems quite serious about it. “Please, sir -- Please, Mr. Ziffel,” she pleads, “May I speak?” Reluctantly, I give her permission to do so. “You know, Maddie and I bust on each other a lot,” she says, “And I guess that’s because we’re so different.” “But if Maddie says she didn’t clog that toilet, then she didn’t clog that toilet,” Liv tells us, in a very serious tone. “Maddie doesn’t lie -- She just doesn’t,” Liv asserts, “If she says she didn’t clog the toilet then she didn’t clog the toilet.” “Maddie doesn’t lie,” Liv reiterates, “She just doesn’t lie.” It’s a heartfelt plea to be sure and I’m inclined to believe her about that.

After careful deliberation, the TVPC finds Maddie “Not Guilty” of clogging the toilet today. “Thank you, sir,” Maddie then tells me, flashing a broad smile. And Miss Musso seems to take the verdict in stride -- I think she understands that she didn’t have a very strong case here.

As long as we’re dealing with LIV AND MADDIE, we may as well take Liv’s case next. Although this appears to be a matter entirely separate from Maddie’s matter. Looking over her Violation Report, I see that she has been charged by Miss Bliss with “Improperly Squatting to Urinate.” Specifically, Miss Bliss caught her in the New Addition girls’ room during 6th period squatting to urinate with the toilet seat still down. Liv has pleaded “Not Guilty” to the charge, although she really doesn’t seem to deny doing it. Of course, I ask the pretty blonde-haired junior about that.

“There was pee all over the toilet seat,” Liv exclaims, “No way am I sitting down in some other girl’s pee.” “I mean, I doubt I was going to sit on the toilet seat anyway,” the pretty and prissy sophomore continues, “But I’m definitely not going to sit down in pee.” “I’m sorry but it’s just not right to punish someone for squatting when the toilet seat has been peed-on like that.” The comment seems to anger Miss Bliss a bit -- Quite uncharacteristic for the usually good-natured History and Civics teacher. “You know, if more of you girls would sit all the way down instead of squatting, maybe the toilet seats wouldn’t get so wet,” Miss Bliss (uncharacteristically) rants at Liv, “Maybe if more of you would sit down and not squat your pee would go in the toilet like it’s supposed to.”

But before Liv can answer back (and she definitely looks like she wants to), I put up my hand to stop her. This is actually a cut and dry (so to speak) case and I’m not about to let it get more complicated than it has to be. “We need to just stick to the facts in this case,” I note, “I’m not going to let this turn into a debate.” I ask Miss Bliss if she’s actually accusing Liv of urinating on the toilet seat or was she just speaking in general terms. “Well, I’m not totally convinced that it wasn’t her who sprayed all over the seat,” Miss Bliss says, “But I really can’t say that it was her, either.” Urinating on the toilet seat would, of course, be a more serious offense than merely squatting over the toilet improperly. “She told me it wasn’t her so I guess I have to go with that,” the pretty History teacher tells us, “But one has to wonder why she would use a toilet with pee already all over the seat rather than just go use a different stall.”
“I didn’t pee on the seat,” Liv then asserts, seemingly annoyed that anyone would even suggest that, “I peed it all in the toilet like I’m supposed to.” When I ask her Miss Bliss’ other question -- Why she didn’t just go use a different toilet when she saw how wet the seat was -- Liv says that she really didn’t think it was a big deal. “When I saw that the seat was wet, I decided to just squat and pee that way,” she explains, “I really don’t see why people are making such a fuss about the whole thing.” “I really don’t see what the problem is -- It‘s not like I‘ve never squatted over a toilet before,” she reiterates, “And I still peed it all in the toilet just like I’m supposed to.”

Hearing that, Maddie cannot help but laugh. “Trust me, Mr. Ziffel,” Maddie says, laughing, “If Liv says that she peed only in the toilet, then she peed only in the toilet.” “Trust me, sir, but no one is more accurate at squatting to pee than my sister is,” Maddie explains, smiling at Liv, “I guess that comes from experience.” The implication, of course, is that the ever prissy Liv doesn’t usually sit on the seat in public bathrooms. “I don’t know anyone that can aim their pee better than Liv can,” Maddie explains, “She can even aim it better than our brother can.” The comment raises a few eyebrows and causes quite a few puzzled looks directed at Maddie. “Well, I don’t mean that we actually had a contest with our brother,” Maddie is quick to clarify, “It’s just that whenever he uses our bathroom, he gets pee all over the place while Liv can squat anywhere and get it all in the toilet.” The comment brings a smile and a chuckle -- as well as a look of pride -- to Liv. As I noted in our prior case, the banter between the 2 sisters is really something else. They really should have their own TV show. I’m tempted to ask whether the 2 sisters have ever had a urination accuracy contest amongst themselves, but unless they did that in school, it’s of no concern to the TVPC.

Refocusing us back to the issue at hand, I see that Liv remains confused and frustrated. Obviously, Liv is “Guilty” as charged -- The facts of this case are not even really in dispute -- and I find her so. But I remind her that it’s not really a serious offense at all. “Since you didn’t actually urinate anyplace other than in the toilet, this is only a minor violation,” I explain to her, “Your punishment really won’t be that bad at all.” But Liv doesn’t believe she should be punished at all. “I still don’t see what the big deal is -- Why is this even a toilet violation at all?” she asks. “All I actually did was pee in the toilet,” she argues, “What difference does it really make if I do it sitting down or if I just squat?” “Public toilet seats are disgusting,” Liv argues further, “Why should I have to sit all the way down when I can just squat and do it perfectly fine?” “I’d rather pee my pants than sit on a wet toilet seat,” she says, “At least then I’d only be sitting in my own pee and not someone else’s pee.” Those assembled here in the committee room giggle a bit at Liv’s melodramatics.

But while I also smile a bit a the young lady’s exaggerated rhetoric, I also attempt to cut through it. “There’s no reason to be wetting your pants, young lady,” I tell her, “And no one is forcing you to sit on any wet toilet seats.” I have to remember that though she’s a sophomore like her sister, it’s actually only her first year with us. I can see that she’s still a bit confused by our toilet rules. “No one is even saying that you have to sit on the toilet seat at all, Liv,” I then explain, “There’s no TVPC rule at all that says a girl has to sit all the way down when she urinates or even when she defecates.” “As long as you can manage to get it all in the toilet, squatting isn’t a problem at all,” I continue, “The only TVPC rule is that if you do squat, you have to lift up the toilet seat first.” “The point is just in case a girl’s aim isn’t as good as she thinks,” I add, “At least if the toilet seat is up, it won’t get wet OR WORSE if a squatting girl has problems actually getting it in the toilet.” “It’s only common sense,” Miss Bliss adds, “If you’re not going to use the toilet seat, lift it up and out of the way, so you don’t wet it for the next person.” “You know, if every girl did that like she’s supposed to, you wouldn’t have to be worrying about wet toilet seats at all,” she reasons, “And don’t even get me started on girls who defecate while squatting and still don’t lift up the toilet seat.”

Liv nods her head like she understands. For punishment, I first assign her to write a 500 word essay describing the proper procedure, under TVPC rules, to squat over the toilet. “That way we’ll make sure you understand it all,” I tell her, “And I’m giving you a choice as to your detention,” I tell her and note for the record, “You can either serve an hour of detention sitting on the toilet in the girls’ room or serve 2 hours of regular detention here in the committee room.” Not surprisingly, Liv chooses the 2 hours of regular detention. But with that choice, I issue her a warning. “As I said before, this isn’t a serious offense and that’s reflected in your punishment,” I note, “That’s why I gave you a choice as to which kind of detention you wanted to serve.” “But rest assured, if we have more violations of you squatting with the toilet seat down you won’t get a choice,” I warn her, “In that case you WILL serve detention sitting on the toilet -- And that means sitting ALL THE WAY DOWN on the toilet seat.” Liv nods her head that she understands.

[Arnold Ziffel]

REPOST: Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

The next item on the agenda – the next 2 items actually – are bits of committee business. It seems we have some paperwork issues with 2 girls – specifically, Lauren, a shy blonde-haired junior and Ashley, a pretty but AWKWARD brunette. I recognize both of these girls quite well as they were before the TVPC last week – each with big, solid loads in their panties. For Lauren, it happened in Chemistry class and it was her second time this school year while for Ashley, it happened in Algebra class and it was her third such offense. They each received a punishment commensurate with the violation – Lauren getting 2 hours detention and 200 lines to write while Ashley got 3 hours detention and 300 lines. Each girl dutifully served her detention and promptly completed her punishment assignment.

But Lauren and Ashley are back before the TVPC today because there is still an outstanding matter on these cases. School policy dictates that for all disciplinary matters – whether they be toilet-related matters handled by the TVPC or regular school offenses handled by the principal – a copy of the Violation Report is sent home to the girl’s parents. That note must then be signed by a parent and handed back in to the TVPC. It’s a routine matter for most, but for some girls, they really don’t want their parents to find out they got in trouble at school – especially when it’s for a toilet-related reason and especially when it’s for going in their pants. Lauren and Ashley have not handed in their signed Violation Report for the accident each had last week.
Turning my attention first to Lauren, I ask her if she has it ready to be handed in. She shakes her head “no.” “It’s been a week, young lady, and your Violation Report is STILL out-STANDING,” I remind her, “You need to get that Violation Report signed and handed in.” “Maybe you don’t want your mom to find out that you messed in your panties again, but she has to find out eventually,” I point out, “You’re only hurting yourself the longer you wait to get that done.” I then instruct the TVPC clerk to hand Lauren 2 sheets of paper. “That’s going to be 100 times of ‘I must remember to get my Violation Report signed,’” I inform her. I also inform her that, unlike other TVPC writing assignments which are due in 1 week, this 100 times is due tomorrow. “If you’re smart, you’ll hand in BOTH the 100 times and the Violation Report tomorrow,” I tell her, “And you’ll just have to face whatever consequences you’re going to get from your mom.” “I can’t believe that your consequences will get any better the longer you wait,” I add. Breaking down into tears, Lauren tells us, “I just can’t tell my mom about this – I just can’t.” “I’m going to get into all kinds of trouble at home if she finds out,” the pretty but self-conscious junior explains through her tears, “She gets really mad about bathroom stuff like accidents.” “I kind of did a mess in my pants coming back from the mall last week and she already knows about that one,” she adds, “I just can’t let her find out that I had another one.” “My mom’s not like me -- she just doesn‘t understand,” Lauren says, “She was never shy about going to the bathroom at school but she doesn’t know what it’s like for me.” “Well, you’re a junior in high school now, Lauren,“ I tell her, “Don’t you think it’s long past time you learn to have bowel movements in school when you need to?” “And you do need to face your mom and get that Violation Report signed,” I reiterate, “As I said before I don’t think it’s going to get any easier the longer you wait.”

Now, turning my attention to Ashley, I note that her Violation Report was due to be handed in yesterday. Consequently, she already appeared before the TVPC about this yesterday and already has a 100 time assignment due today. Fortunately for her, she has the completed 100 times and hands that in, but unfortunately she still does NOT have the signed Violation Report. “Well, that’s going to be another 100 times for tomorrow,” I tell her, “As I told Lauren, you’re only making it worse on yourself by not getting your Violation Report signed. “She’s going to go crazy if she finds out,” the pretty freshman tells us, “You don‘t know how she gets about accidents.” “And this was my third one,” Ashley reminds us, “I’m going to be grounded for like forever. “Well, I guess you should have thought about that before you messed in your pants,” I point out, in no uncertain terms, “And that’s especially true when it’s happened twice before.” “Miss Spellman certainly would have given you a girls’ room pass if you’d only have asked her,” I remind her, “But you didn’t even ask her – You just sat there in class and messed in your pants.” “Your mother is going to find out eventually,” I also say to her, “I doubt she’s going to be any happier the longer you put off telling her.”

Before moving on, I remind both girls of the rules regarding their Violation Reports and getting them signed. “As I’m sure you both know, you have a week to get them signed and returned to the TVPC,” I tell them, “And both of you have obviously gone past that time.” “The first 3 days your Violation Report is late, you write 100 times each day,” I remind her, “And then the next 2 days, you write 250 times each day.” “And then finally you get 1 day when it’s 500 times,” I point out, “And after that we don’t even bother with writing assignments anymore.” Lauren and Ashley both look at me puzzled. “What happens after that?” they both ask, almost in unison. “After that we just put you on toilet suspension,” I tell them, “And you stay on toilet suspension until you get that Violation Report signed and handed in.” “That way you can explain to your moms why you’re going in your pants in school everyday,” I tell them, “And both ways in your pants, on occasion, to be sure.” I hope that this gives these girls something to think about. I’m sure it’s not easy for a high school girl to have to tell her mom that she’s done a mess in her panties again, but it’s something that these girls have just got to do. “Please, girls -- please get those Violation Reports back to the TVPC,” I urge them, “You’ve already done your punishments for the accidents -- It’s stupid to keep getting yourself punished for this.”

The last item on the agenda is another item of committee business. Betty, a pretty and popular sophomore cheerleader, is being called before the TVPC because she has a punishment writing assignment due. It was one week ago today that Betty appeared before the TVPC and pleaded “Guilty” to soiling her panties at cheerleading practice the afternoon before. As this was a practice session rather than a game against another school, this was merely a regular panty-soiling violation and not an accident while representing the school. But still the TVPC was quite concerned about this because this blonde-haired cheerleader had on a prior occasion messed her panties at a game. Amongst her other punishments for her soiling at cheerleading practice -- those being detention and repetitive sentence writing -- she was assigned to write a 2,000 word essay apologizing for what she did and explaining what she intended to do to improve her toilet habits. Betty promptly wrote her punishment sentences -- she handed them in the very next day -- and serve her detention. But she has yet to hand in her 2,000 word punishment essay and that essay is due today. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, she is now called before the TVPC and given one last chance to hand it in before the essay will be doubled to 4,000 words.

Fortunately for Betty, though, she appears to have her completed 2,000 word essay. As the smart and popular blonde-haired beauty comes forward, I see that she has some paper-clipped paper in her hand. “Is that your completed essay, young lady?” I ask her. “Yes sir -- it is,” she tells me, “I’m sorry I didn’t get it done sooner but it was harder than I thought writing this.” “This is the first time I’ve ever had to write an essay like this,” Betty explains, “I mean, I have been punished before but it was always just writing sentences rather than a long essay.” “The essay was much harder,” she points out. “Good!” Mrs. Adler, a TVPC member, tells her, “It’s a punishment after all -- it’s supposed to be hard and unpleasant.” “Maybe next time you’ll think twice about not using the toilet when you need to at cheerleading practice,” the first-year committee woman tells the sophomore cheerleader, “I really don’t think it’s too much to ask of our cheerleaders to do their bowel movements in the toilet instead of their pants.” “Yes, Ma’am,” Betty tells her contritely, “I’m sorry I had an accident.” “Well, you’ve actually had 2 accidents,” Mrs. Adler tells her, “Don’t for a minute think I’ve forgotten about the one you did last month coming back from the football game at RIVERDALE High School. “Yes, Ma’am,” Betty says again, “I’m sorry for both of them.”

With that I direct the well-mannered Betty to hand in her essay to our TVPC clerk. She, of course, does as directed. “Well, I hope that you’ve learned your lesson from this, young lady,” I tell her, “I really hope this is that last time we’ll hear about you going in your pants instead of the toilet.” “I hope so, too, sir,” she tells me, “As I said before I’m sorry for what happened.” “I’ll try my best to make sure it doesn’t happen again,” she adds, “I really don’t want to get punished like that again.” “Well, I don’t really want to punish you like that again,” I note, “I hope this is the last time that I’ll have to, especially for an accident related to cheerleading.” I note again, as I did when she was before the TVPC for this last week, that though this was not a violation while representing the school, I was still concerned that both of her accidents where related to her role as a cheerleader. And furthermore, (although I’m really not supposed to consider it this year) her only soiling accident last year was one while representing the school as a cheerleader. “I’m sure you’ll understand that soiled panties by girls on our cheerleading squad is something we simply cannot tolerate,” I explain to her, “I hope you understand why I was so severe with you this time.”

Thinking for a moment, Betty then responds that she does understand but still doesn’t think the punishment she received was fair. “It really was only my second one this year,” she points out respectfully, “I know that’s nothing to be proud of, and I know that I’m a cheerleader and all, but this obviously wasn’t an accident while representing the school.” “I admit that I deserved the 2 hours of detention and the 200 lines,” she says, “But I really think that making me write this essay was really piling it on.” “This essay was hard and it took me a really long time to finish,” she explains, again being careful to maintain a respectful tone, “It was a lot harder to do than writing the lines.” She tells us that writing the lines isn’t easy or pleasant but it’s better than having to write a long essay. “Writing the lines is boring and it’s drudgery but it’s not something you have to think about while you’re doing it,” she explains, “You just have to sit and make yourself do it but you can do it while listening to music or something.” “But the essay is something that you really have to think about,” she explains further, “I had to really focus on what I was writing -- it took a long time and I had to think about it the whole time.”

“That was exactly the point, Betty,” I then explain to her, “I wanted you think about how you ended up messing in your panties and what you intended to do to prevent that happening again.” “As I said before, hopefully you’ve learned your lesson and this is the last time I’ll have to punish you for soiled panties -- especially related to cheerleading,” I explain further, “Hopefully, this will be the last punishment essay you’ll have to write for us.” “Amen to that,” Betty says, “I hope it’s the last punishment essay that I’ll ever have to write for you, too.” Checking with the TVPC clerk, he pronounces that Betty’s essay appears to be complete and in good order. Accordingly, it is accepted and Betty is dismissed.

Just when I thought we were done for the day, I see that we may have another matter. I am quite surprised to see Cordelia, a very pretty but self-centered senior brunette, enter the committee room with Mrs. Johns, one of our very best bathroom monitors and punishment supervisors. I would expect that Cordelia would be busily at work scrubbing toilets clean in the Main Corridor girls’ room and all the while suffering the discomfort and indignity of a toilet suspension. A month on toilet suspension and 2 weeks of bathroom cleaning detention being Cordelia’s punishment for stuffing her soiled panties into a sanitary napkin disposal box in that same girls’ room. The poor girl also got regular detention and writing punishment for doing the mess in her panties in the first place. But that punishment -- especially considering it was only her first panty-soiling offense -- was only incidental to being placed on toilet suspension for trying to hide her soiled panties afterwards.

Naturally, I ask Mrs. Johns why Cordelia has been brought here rather than being left to her bathroom cleaning punishment in the Main Corridor girls’ room. In doing so, I take note that pretty senior’s jeans appear to be dry and show no overt sign of a fecal bulge indicating a mess in her panties underneath them. And she’s not showing any obvious signs of toilet desperation, either. For a girl on toilet suspension, after a long school day and now well into detention time, this is usually not a good sign.

“I caught her right in the act on the toilet,” Mrs. Johns reports, “Obviously, that’s the wrong place to be for a girl on toilet suspension.” “I was going in there to check on cleaning chores,” the ever helpful bathroom monitor explains, “And from the hallway I’m hearing splashing noises like a girl having the longest and loudest urination of all time.” “I snuck up to her stall and there she was on the toilet violating her toilet suspension,” she explains further, “And when I took a look into the toilet bowl, I found that Cordelia had done a bowel movement as well.” “I made her pull up her panties immediately -- without even wiping herself at all,” Mrs. Johns adds, “But the damage was already done by her using the toilet when she wasn’t supposed to.”

“Please sir, I just couldn’t take it any more,” an uncharacteristically contrite Cordelia pleads, “Being on toilet suspension is the worst thing that I’ve ever had to do.” “But then you make it even worse by making me clean toilets after school, too,” she tells me, “You’re making me clean toilets when I can’t even use them.” “That’s like torture when you really need to go like I did,” she adds. “How can you make a girl on toilet suspension clean toilets?” she asks, “It’s just too much when a girl is desperate to go and there is a toilet right there that she’s just cleaned,” “Toilet suspension is bad enough as it is,“ Cordelia argues, “But it’s just cruel to make a girl clean toilets, too, when you can’t even use them.“ “I was just desperate to go both ways and the toilet was right there and all nice and clean,” she tells us, “I just couldn’t resist just sitting down and relieving myself.” “I knew it was wrong but I just couldn’t resist,” she adds, “I’m really sorry.”

“You earned both a toilet suspension and a toilet cleaning punishment,” I remind Cordelia in no uncertain terms, “So you’re serving both and you’re just going to have to deal with serving both.” “Its punishment – You’re not supposed to like it,” I tell her, “In fact, you’re supposed to hate it so much that you’ll never even think to hide a pair of messy panties in the girls’ room again.” “And now you’ve made it even worse for yourself,” I further tell the senior beauty, “In fact, you’ve made it a LOT worse on yourself.” “You have violated not only your toilet suspension but also your toilet cleaning punishment,” I explain, “That’s 2 separate violations that you now have to get punished for.” Obviously, Cordelia doesn’t like hearing that. “Bathroom cleaning detention is no different than any other from of detention,” I explain further, “When you’re in detention, you serve the detention and that doesn’t mean using the toilet instead.” “And that, as I’ve noted, is IN ADDITION to violating your toilet suspension,” I reiterate for her, “You get punished for that, as well.”

For violating her toilet cleaning punishment – that is, using the toilet when she should have been cleaning toilets instead – I sentence her to 3 additional days of bathroom cleaning punishment. And, of course, she’ll also not get credit for the bathroom cleaning that she did do today. She’ll also have to write, “I will not use the toilet while serving bathroom cleaning detention again” 250 times. But violating her toilet suspension is, by far, her more serious offense today. For that, she’ll not only have to write “I will not use the toilet while on toilet suspension again” 1,000 times, but she’ll have an additional 3 weeks to serve on toilet suspension. News of that brings tears to the eyes of the usually stoic Cordelia. Toilet suspension is a grueling punishment and the thought of being on it even longer now, is just too much for her to bear.

“I’m sorry, Cordelia,” I tell the crying senior brunette, “But using the toilet while on toilet suspension is simply something we cannot tolerate.” “I’m not saying it’s easy – Especially when you have to go really bad and you don’t think you can hold it in much longer,” I tell her further, “But when you’re on toilet suspension you’re simply not allowed to use the toilet in school.” “And now that’s 3 more weeks on toilet suspension for you,” I reiterate and warn her, “And if you use the toilet again while on toilet suspension, we’ll add even more time to it.”

So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee.
Meeting adjourned at 4:18 PM.