Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of Tuesday, November 26, 2019.

For the first case before the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) this afternoon, we have a sweet and perennially cheerful sophomore named Sue. She is charged by Mrs. Montgomery with “Panty-Soiling” -- her first such accident of the school year. “I caught her in the 2nd Floor Girls’ Room in one of THE MIDDLE stalls during 5th period,” Mrs. Montgomery, an English Teacher, reports, “She was just sitting there on the toilet crying with quite a sizable load in her panties.” It’s quite surprising to hear of Sue crying on the toilet as Sue is the type of girl who always seems happy no matter what goes wrong. And she is just one of those unfortunate girls who always seems to have things go wrong for her. She’s got 2 prior toilet violations for using a clogged toilet -- once urinating and once defecating -- and one violation for actually clogging the toilet herself. The latter case being a matter of a somewhat large (but not overtly huge) bowel movement simply breaking in half and clogging the toilet as she tried to flush it. But Sue is typically rather diligent about using the girls’ room when she needs to. This would be the sophomore beauty’s first panty-soiling not only of the school year but of her high school career.

“Like I said, it was 5th period and I headed into the girls’ room up here on the 2nd Floor,” Mrs. Montgomery reports, “I came upstairs initially to use the faculty bathroom in the library but there was a line there and I didn’t think I could wait.” “So I went over and used the student girls’ room instead,” she tells us. “While I was in there on the toilet I heard crying coming from one of the other stalls,” the pretty English Teacher continues, “So when I finished with own business on the toilet, I went over there to check it out.” “And that’s when you found Sue?” I ask her. “Well, first I found Hermonie in there,” Mrs. Montgomery tells us, “But she wasn’t the one crying -- she was simply sitting on the toilet doing a toilet sitting punishment for a previous accident.” “But then I found Sue,” she continues, “She was just sitting there on the toilet crying.” “And that’s when I looked down and saw her jeans and her panties down at her knees,” Mrs. Montgomery explains, “And there in her panties you could see she had a good, healthy bowel movement.” I assumed that was what Sue was crying about,” she explains further, “I assumed she was upset because she had had an accident.”

Looking over at Sue, I can see her nodding her head in agreement with what the pretty English Teacher is saying. “It was an accident,” she says, “I had an accident.” Well, that much, of course, is pretty obvious. I press her for more of an explanation. “I waited too long,” Sue then tells us, “I had to go and I just waited too long.” She explains that she first felt it during 3rd period -- “a little bit,” she says -- but it wasn’t until 4th period in Geometry class that it genuinely felt like she needed to go. “I should have gone then,” Sue tells us, “I should have asked for a pass from Miss Norberry and gone to the girls’ room then.” “If I’d only gone then I wouldn’t have had an accident,” she continues, obviously a bit angry with herself, “If I’d only gone in the toilet then, I wouldn’t have had a mess in my panties.” The sweet and likeable brunette goes on to explain that she makes it a regular practice to use the girls’ room after 4th period. “I have lunch 5th period,” she tells us, “I always go to the girls’ room then before I go downstairs to lunch.” “I don’t like using the girls’ room down by the cafeteria -- that one is just gross,” Sue adds, “I always use the girls’ room up here on the 2nd Floor before I go down to lunch.”

“I just held it in and waited,” Sue continues, “I’d figured I just go use the girls’ room after 4th period like I always do.” “I really thought I could just hold it in and wait and do it at my usual time,” she adds. “But I just waited too long,” she reiterates, again in an expression of anger with herself, “I just waited too long and couldn’t hold it in anymore.” “Why! Why! Why didn’t I just go to the girls’ room when I needed to go?” she asks herself rhetorically. “I can’t believe that I had an accident,” she says, again expressing anger at herself, “I can’t believe I went to the bathroom in my pants.” She then starts rambling a bit about how disgusting this all is and how it all could just have been avoided had she just gone to the girls’ room when she needed to and not tried to hold it in for as long as she did. Again, it’s really nothing more than stating the obvious and Sue engaging in a bit of self-flagellation. I let her do so to a point, but then I stop her. “It’s only your first accident, Sue,” I tell her sympathetically, “I really wouldn’t be so hard on myself if I were you.” “I know it’s disgusting and you’re upset about it, but accidents happen sometimes,” I explain, “A lot of girls here have done a whole lot worse.” “It’s only your first such accident, Sue,” I reiterate, “At least your punishment won’t be all that bad.” Sue seems to take at least a small bit of comfort in that.

Turning now to Mrs. Montgomery, she tells us again that after using the girls’ room herself, she found Sue in one of the other stalls crying. “She was just sitting there on the toilet crying,” the pretty, first year, English Teacher reports, “And she had a pretty good sized load in her panties.” “She was just sitting there crying -- not really sure what she should do next,” Mrs. Montgomery reports further, “She wasn’t sure whether to clean herself up some or just pull her pants back up and go back to class as she was.” “Sue had some toilet paper in her hand like she was going to try to scrape some of it out her panties,” she explains, “But then it was like she really didn’t know how to do that without getting it on her hands.” Looking over at Sue, she is again nodding her head in agreement with the pretty English Teacher. She thanks Mrs. Montgomery for helping her to clan up at least a little bit in the stall.

“Well, it was fortunately mostly a solid type of bowel movement,” Mrs. Montgomery then continues, “It was kind of a mostly intact log-type of bowel movement sitting in her panties and it hadn’t really been spread and smeared all that bad.” “I just had Sue carefully maneuver her panties over the toilet,” she explains, “And then I had her just kind of dump the load into the toilet.” “I mean her panties were still messed -- It had obviously smeared in her panties a little bit,” she explains further, “But at least she got rid of the worst of it -- she got rid of most of it in the toilet.” “Thank you,” Sue then says again to Mrs. Montgomery, “Thank you for helping me.” “She really helped me in the girls’ room, sir,” Sue then turns and tells me, “She really helped me clean myself.” Mrs. Montgomery explains that she then left Sue alone in the stall so that the girl could wipe herself a few times before pulling her panties and pants back up. “That was about the best she could do under the circumstances,” Mrs. Montgomery tells us, “She still didn’t want to go to lunch like that, so I wrote her up for the panty-soiling and then gave her a pass to the library instead.”

As noted, it’s Sue’s first panty-soiling of the school year -- the first, in fact, of her high school career. But having 3 prior offenses on other violations, she’s not entitled to be let off with just a warning. Still, it’s only a first panty-soiling of the school year and only a minimal punishment is in order. Sue is then sentenced to an hour of detention and having to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 100 times. Sue still seems upset about it. “Accidents happen, Sue,” I tell her again, “I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself.”

For the next matter before the TVPC -- the next 2 matters actually -- I turn to Miss Mars, the ever vigilant gym teacher. Miss Mars reports that she caught 2 sophomore girls -- a brunette named Emma and a blonde named Jenny -- with messes in their panties after 5th period earlier today. “The two were in adjoining stalls in the girls’ locker room bathroom,” the pretty gym teacher reports, “And both girls had messes in their panties.” “I presume it happened just then in 5th period gym class,” Miss Mars reports further, “The messes looked pretty fresh in the girls’ panties and there was no indication that either of them had messes when they were changing into their gym clothes earlier in the period.” Miss Mars is known for her diligence in watching the girls in the locker room -- checking for accidents -- as the girls are changing in and out of their gym clothes before and after gym class. She apparently noticed both girls taking their clothes into the toilet stalls to change after gym class. That, of course, usually means that a girl has got something in her panties that she doesn’t want the others to see.

The 2 girls are so close as friends that they are often mistaken for sisters. But they aren’t exactly sisters -- it’s just that their moms KATE AND ALLIE are platonic housemates and Jenny and Emma share a bedroom. But while the girls are close, having messes in their panties together does seem to be carrying even a close friendship a bit too far. “I’ve heard of girls living together suddenly having their periods synchronized,” I comment, “But I’ve never heard of anything like this before.” The comment -- as intended -- draws a few giggles from the assembled crowd. But neither girl seems amused. Jenny, in particular, gives me a dirty look. “It’s just a coincidence, sir,” Jenny -- ever respectful -- tells me, “It’s obviously not that we planned this.” “Of course, you didn’t,” I then tell her apologetically, “I never should have said that.” “And I’m sorry to you, Emma,” I tell the quiet, more reserved brunette, “I never should have insinuated that about you, either.”

Checking with both girls, they both admit that it did happen in gym class when neither wanted to use the toilets in the girls’ locker room beforehand. “I was trying to hold it in but I just couldn’t manage it during gym class,” Emma tells us, “I tried but it’s really hard to hold it in while you’re running around like we were.” Jenny has a similar story. “Well, obviously I should have gone to the bathroom beforehand,” the pretty blonde tells us, “The fact that I went in my pants is evidence enough of that.” “But I really did think I could hold it in and wait, sir,” she tells me, “I was going to go during English class 6th period.” “But Emma is right about how hard it is to hold it in while running around in gym,” Jenny continues, “I guess that’s obvious with me having an accident in gym class, too.” “I almost made it to the end of class,” she adds, “But almost obviously isn’t good enough when it comes to going to the bathroom.” “No, it isn’t,” I tell the articulate sophomore beauty.

I ask them both about their not using the toilets right there in the girls’ locker room. “I mean, obviously we have toilets there for a reason, young ladies,” I point out to them. “Yes, sir -- Obviously that’s what we should have done,” Jenny then tells me, “It was obviously stupid of us to wait like we did.” “But like I said, I thought I could hold it in,” the sophomore beauty explains, “I really didn’t think it would be a problem waiting until English class next period and going then.” “I mean, obviously it’s better to go in the girls’ locker room than going in my pants,” Jenny continues, “But it’s just that it’s better going in one of the girls’ rooms upstairs.” “It’s just that it isn’t much privacy with all the other girls in there,” she explains further, “I mean, it’s fine if you just gotta go pee but when you don’t, it’s just kind of uncomfortable doing it there.” “I mean, it’s obviously better to go in there than mess in our panties,” she reiterates, “It’s just that I’d rather go someplace else if I can manage it.” Emma, on the other hand, simply shakes her head. The apparent point being that going to the bathroom in the girls’ locker room -- at least for #2 -- is not something to even be considered.

Oddly, though, it’s only Emma’s first panty-soiling of the school year while Jenny has two prior offenses. Similarly, Jenny had 3 last year as a freshman compared to only 1 for Emma. Noting that, I suggest that Emma help her roommate with her toilet habits in school and Jenny could learn from Emma in that regard. “This is your 3rd already this year, Jenny,” I tell her. “That obviously causes our committee some concerns, young lady,” I explain, “It’s one thing to be a little selective about what girls’ rooms you’ll use at school, but it’s another thing entirely to be doing that to the point of messing in your panties.” “I’m just saying that maybe you could learn from Emma’s example,” I suggest, “I mean, obviously she did have an accident today, but it doesn’t seem that she’s making a habit of it.”

But Jenny just shakes her head as does Emma. “It’s really not like that, sir,” the pretty, blonde-haired sophomore tells me. She explains that it’s her and not Emma that is actually more comfortable going #2 at school. “I go at school a lot,” Jenny tells us, “I mean, I’m not saying it’s everyday, but I bet I do it at school more days than I don’t.” “It’s just the way my body works for me -- I go twice a day almost every day,” she explains, “And that usually means having to go at school.” “And what you’re telling us is that you do go at school when you need to?” I ask her, “At least MOST of the time?” “Yes, sir -- I go at school a lot,” she reiterates, “It’s just that when I go I really prefer using one of the nicer girls’ rooms upstairs.” “I really don’t mind using the girls’ room up here on the 2nd floor at all,” she explains, “Or at least the one in the New Addition or the Science Wing or even the Main Corridor Girls’ Room will do if I really have to go.” “But not the girls’ locker room?” I ask. “Well, I’d rather go there than in my pants if that’s what you mean,” Jenny tells me, “But I’d just rather go somewhere else if I can wait.” “And today I thought I could wait, sir -- I really thought I could hold it in and wait,” she explains, “But I miscalculated and this is what happened.” She points out, though, that she did make it there to at least do some of it in the toilet. “Obviously, it’s already too late when you do ANY of it in your pants,” she acknowledges, “But I guess it was about half in the toilet and half in my panties.”

“And Emma?” I then ask. “She hardly ever has to go at school,” Jenny tells us, “I mean, she pees at school all the time but she almost never has to go the other way.” “I always go at home first thing in the morning ,” Emma then chimes in. “And after that I’m usually good for the rest of the day,” she explains, “I rarely have to go again until the next morning.” The point being, of course, is that of the two of them, Jenny -- in spite of having had more accidents in school -- is the one who does go at school when she needs to. Upon questioning from me, Emma then reluctantly admits that the only time she’s ever done a bowel movement at school (other than in her pants) was one time last year when she snuck into the teachers’ bathroom in the library to do it. And that, of course, resulted in her serving a week of detention and writing “I will not use a faculty bathroom in school again” 500 times. “Well then, it looks like Jenny might have something to teach Emma about proper toilet habits in school,” I tell them, “But Jenny obviously needs to learn to be more careful about holding it in when she really shouldn’t be.”

Moving on to their punishments Jenny has no other toilet violations this year other than her two prior panty-soiling accidents. Miss Mars points out that her accident isn’t a very bad one at all. “As Jenny alluded to earlier, she did manage to at least do some of it in the toilet,” the pretty and ever helpful gym teacher reports, “Emma, on the hand, quite obviously did her full bowel movement in her panties.” For punishment, Jenny gets the standard 3 hours detention and having to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 300 times. “Next time it’s 500 times and you do you detention time sitting on the toilet,” I warn her, “You’d be wise being a little less selective in which girls’ rooms you’ll use from now on.” As to Emma, it’s only her first panty-soiling violation of the school year, but having another toilet violation -- two toilet violations actually -- she’s not entitled to be let off with just a warning. I note her prior violations -- “Loitering In The Girls’ Room” and “Urinating In A Non-Properly Functioning Toilet” -- as well as the fact that this is quite a full load in the pretty brunette’s panties. Accordingly, I sentence her to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 250 times and serve 2 hours in detention. “Apparently, you’ve been lucky in that you don’t often have to go at school,” I tell Emma, “That only makes it more shameful when you still have an accident in school.”

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

For the next item on the TVPC agenda this afternoon we have the results of a TVPC investigation. For this, I am pleased to welcome Miss Mars and Mrs. Johns who conducted the investigation. The investigation was into a badly messed on toilet seat that was found after school Thursday in the Main Corridor Girls’ Room. I thank both women for their investigatory skill in finding the guilty party so quickly. “Thank you, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Mars tells me, “But finding the guilty party in this case wasn’t very difficult at all.”

Also standing before the TVPC now is a gorgeous blonde-haired junior named Bridgett. She’s not only charged with “Messing On A Toilet Seat” but with doing so intentionally. Messing on a toilet seat on purpose is, of course, a lot more serious than doing it accidentally. Bridgett has apparently admitted to messing on the toilet seat but denies doing it on purpose. The junior blonde has already been before the TVPC on Friday for “Panty-Soiling” -- an accident that occurred while she was attending a lengthy detention with her Geometry Teacher Miss Norberry. Her claim apparently is that she messed on the seat -- accidentally -- when she went to use the girls’ room after being released from detention. The point being that the mess got on the toilet seat from her sitting on the seat after sitting in her soiled panties in detention.

But our TVPC investigators -- especially Mrs. Johns -- are highly skeptical of the girl’s story. “Really?” Mrs. Johns says, looking at Bridgett incredulously, “Are you really going to stick with that story?” “I’ve seen toilet seats that got messed on the way you claimed -- that got messed on by girls sitting down after they’d soiled themselves,” the ever vigilant bathroom monitor claims, “And I can safely say that NONE of them ever looked like your toilet seat did.” “It leaves more of a spotty, clumpy pattern when girls sit on the seat after messing their panties,” Mrs. Johns continues, “It definitely doesn’t leave the kind of smeared pattern that we found on the toilet seat that you used.” “I mean perhaps you did get some on the toilet seat when you first sat down,” she explains further, “But it’s pretty obvious that someone at some point made it a lot worse by smearing it.” “And obviously smearing the mess was done on purpose,” Mrs. Johns adds.

Looking over at Bridgett, I ask her the same question that Mrs. Johns did. “Are you still sticking to your story?” I ask, “Are you still going to claim that it was all just the result of you having an accident?” I can’t help but notice the look on her face go from worry to downright panic. “The thing is, Bridgett, I would say that you’re in enough trouble already,” I then tell her. “I mean, you’ve already been punished for panty-soiling and now you have this,” I point out, “Pretty much the last thing you need now is an additional punishment for lying about it.” “About the best thing you could do for yourself now is to be honest about what you did,” I tell her further, “Being honest oftentimes goes a long way in determining how bad a girl is going to get punished.” Pausing a moment to give her a chance to think about it, we all can see that pretty blonde is indeed on the horns of a dilemma. Intentionally messing on the toilet seat is obviously a serious matter with serious consequences at stake.

Thinking about it for a moment, Bridgett then asks if she can ask me a question. “You certainly may,” I tell her. She then asks me that if she does admit to messing the toilet seat on purpose, what her punishment would be. “I mean, will I have to go on toilet suspension then?” she asks. The toilet suspension, of course, is the TVPC’s most dreaded punishment. Girls on toilet suspension are not allowed access to any school bathroom for any reason. Girls who do use the bathroom while on toilet suspension or go elsewhere to use the bathroom or even squat in the bushes outside are punished with a longer toilet suspension. “I’m afraid so, young lady,” I then inform her, “Intentionally messing on the toilet seat is a mandatory toilet suspension.” I then pause for a moment to let that sink in. With that, the look on her face now turns more to dread. “The only thing I can tell you is that lying about it can only make it worse,” I tell Bridgett, “I’d say honesty is probably your best bet at making your toilet suspension as short as possible.”

Pausing for a moment herself -- no doubt trying to summon up the courage -- the blonde beauty first bursts into tears and then tells me the painful truth. “Alright, I did it,” she says, as the tears flow, “I did it on purpose.” “I’m sorry -- I’m just so sorry,” she cries. “It happened as I was wiping myself -- As I was trying to clean up some of the mess,” she then explains, “I was taking the toilet paper and smearing some of the mess on the toilet seat.” “I’m sorry, sir -- I’m just so sorry,” she reiterates, as the tears fall, “It was so stupid.” “It was disgusting is what it was,” chimes in Mrs. Adler, a committeewoman, “I mean it was certainly stupid, that’s for sure, but it was also unspeakably disgusting.” “I mean, you smeared fecal matter over a toilet seat and you did it on purpose,” Mrs. Adler continues, “That is just disgusting beyond belief.” Bridgett just bows her head crying. I think she gets that -- NOW.

But that still begs the question of why she did it in the first place. Of course, I ask her about that. “It was just stupid, sir,” she tells me, still crying, “It was really, really stupid.” “I was really mad, sir -- I was really mad about getting detention and then having the accident,” Bridgett explains, “It was just stupid -- It was just really, really stupid.” She tells me that she was really mad that Miss Norberry kept her in detention so long and that when she soiled her panties in detention, it really set her off. “I wouldn’t have had the accident if Miss Norberry hadn’t kept me in detention for like 2 hours,” she complains. But Miss Norberry takes exception to that. “I told you that you were going to be here a while -- I told you to make yourself comfortable,” the pretty Math Teacher reminds Bridgett, “I told you that if you had to go to the bathroom, you should go before we started.” Apparently, the girl had several missing homework assignments that Miss Norberry was making her complete.

“Don’t blame me because you soiled your panties,” Miss Norberry tells her, “If you had just gone to the girls’ room when I told you to, that wouldn’t have happened.” “If you hadn’t have made me stay for detention, I would have been home already and wouldn’t have messed in my panties,” Bridgett then snaps back. “Well, if you’d have just kept up with your homework assignments like you were supposed to, you wouldn’t have had to stay for detention in the fist place,” Miss Norberry answers that. “You know I only have 8 SIMPLE RULES in my classroom,” she notes, “But one of them is that you have to keep up with your homework.” Bridgett, in turn, just looks frustrated with really nothing more to say. “And I even told you that you could go to the girls’ room later -- I saw that you were holding it in and I told you that you could still go to the girls’ room if you needed to,” the pretty Math Teacher (and Guidance Counselor) then adds. “So no way you’re blaming me for that mess in your panties,” she tells the girl. “You said that I could go use the girls’ room in the main corridor -- the busy one that everyone uses,” Bridgett suddenly answers back, “You wouldn’t let me go use the one on the 2nd floor where I’d have more privacy.” “The Main Corridor Girls’ Room is just across the hall from my classroom,” the pretty Miss Norberry then points out, “So NO! -- I wasn’t going to let you go all the way upstairs just to use the girls’ room when there was a girls’ room right there.”

With that, I bang my gavel to prevent the argument from getting even more off track. “We’re not hear today to rehash the details of your panty-soiling accident,” I tell Bridgett, “We’re here to discuss what happened in the girls’ room afterwards.”

Refocusing, the junior beauty reiterates how angry she was when she was finally released from detention -- now with a mess in her panties and a Violation Report for “Panty-Soiling” in her hand. “I was furious, sir,” she tells me, “I was just furious with Miss Norberry for the whole thing.” “It’s not like I’m used to having messes in my panties, sir,” Bridgett continues, “I don’t do that, sir -- I mean, I usually do try to hold it in until I get home but when I really do have to go at school, I do go the girls’ room and do it there.” “But I always go upstairs and do it in the 2nd Floor Girls’ Room when I do,” she explains, “I mean, I sometimes do pee in the other bathrooms, but when it comes to #2, I always come upstairs to do it.” “So like I said, sir, I was really mad about having the mess in my panties,” the pretty blonde junior reiterates, “And it was quite a bit of poop in my panties, too.” “And like I said, sir, I’m just not used to that,” she explains further, “I just couldn’t stand how it feels that have all that in my panties.”

She tells me that she then went to the girls’ room to at least clean herself some before walking home. “I just couldn’t stand the idea of walking home like that -- I just couldn’t,” she explains, “I knew I could never clean up completely in the girls’ room but I figured I could at least get some of it out of my panties before walking home.” “I didn’t have a washcloth or anything like that,” she explains further, “So all I could do was just wipe the toilet paper as best as I could.” Continuing, she tells us that -- in a fit of anger -- she then took some of the toilet paper that she used for wiping herself and cleaning out her panties and used it to smear some of the mess on the toilet seat. “It was stupid, sir -- It was just stupid,” she reiterates, tears flowing anew. “I’m so sorry, sir -- I’m so sorry,” she says again, “I was just mad -- I was just so mad about the mess in my panties and everything.”

I take the occasion to ask Bridgett what she was thinking -- that is, what she was hoping to accomplish -- by what she did. “I guess I just wasn’t thinking,” she says, “I guess I was just mad -- I guess I was just trying to get back at Miss Norberry some way and I just did something stupid.” Mrs. Adler then asks her how messing on a toilet seat in the girls’ room was supposed to get back at Miss Norberry. “I mean, I assume Miss Norberry mostly uses the faculty ladies’ room,” the committeewoman reasons, “I’m thinking the only people you were really hurting were other girls trying to use the girls’ room and finding fecal matter smeared on a toilet seat.” Bridgett really has no answer to that or any plausible explanation to explain why she did it. “Yes, Ma’am -- You’re right, Ma’am,” she tells Mrs. Adler, too ashamed to even look up and look her in the eye.

Bridgett is obviously sincerely sorry but that, of course, isn’t good enough. It’s not even close. “Intentionally messing on a toilet seat is quite a serious matter, young lady,” I tell her, “Obviously, a toilet suspension is mandatory for such an offense.” With that, I direct a TVPC staffer to attach a red wristband to Bridgett’s wrist. The red wristband, of course, indicates a girl on toilet suspension. “You could have easily found yourself on toilet suspension for an entire month for this,” I tell her and note for the record, “But because you were honest about it, your toilet suspension will be 3 weeks instead.” She’ll also have to write, “I will not mess on the toilet seat in the girls’ room in school again” 1,000 times. Bridgett is further sentenced to an entire month of after-school detention cleaning the bathrooms.

She reacts in surprise to hearing that. I’m reasonably certain that she fully expected to have to do bathroom cleaning detention for this (I mean, how could she not expect that) but I’m thinking she perhaps wasn’t expecting it for an entire month. “Only 3 weeks on toilet suspension was actually a bit light considering what you did,” I then explain to her, “So we kind of make up for that a bit with a longer sentence of bathroom cleaning detention.” I do offer her the option, though, of taking a full month of toilet suspension and then only have to spend 3 weeks on bathroom cleaning detention. But Bridgett, not surprisingly, wants as little time on toilet suspension as possible. “I’m just not used to going in my pants,” she reiterates, “I just don’t know how I’m going to deal with that for 3 weeks much less a whole month.” “Well, you’d better deal with it,” I warn her sternly, “Using the toilet on toilet suspension is a mandatory minimum of 2 more weeks on toilet suspension and a mandatory 1,000 times writing assignment.”

“Yes, it was stupid, young lady,” I tell her, as she just stands there crying, staring at the toilet suspension wristband on her wrist.
Our next girl is Kourtney, a smart but underachieving brunette, and she is already serving a toilet suspension. Hers is a 3-week toilet suspension – a punishment for her second offense of smoking in the girls’ room. Kourtney has not filed a formal punishment appeal, but she has requested to speak to the TVPC regarding her toilet suspension. Actually, I’m quite puzzled as to specifically what this case is about.

“I’m supposed to be on toilet suspension until a week from next Tuesday – I’m supposed to have 7 days left,” she tells us, “But I don’t think that’s fair.” “You smoked in the girls’ room and you were placed on toilet suspension for 3 weeks,” I point out, “And you’ve served part of that time and now have 7 days left.” “I guessing you don’t like it,” I tell her, “But what specifically do you find unfair about it.” “I don’t think it’s fair that you put me on it for 3 weeks when it’s only supposed to be 2 weeks for a second offense,” she says, “But that’s not what I’m here about – you’ve already told me that you’re not going to change that.” Before she continues on to the point of her visit today, I stop her to address what she’s already said. “Two weeks is the MINIMUM toilet suspension for a 2nd offense of smoking in the girls’ room,” I clarify for her, “With your disciplinary record, you should be thankful that you didn’t get the entire month that I could have imposed.”

Moving on, the senior brunette tells us that last Friday she was caught smoking again – this time behind the storage shed in the back of the school. Since this wasn’t in the girls’ room, it wasn’t a matter for the TVPC but a matter for the school Principal, as are all non-toilet related disciplinary matters. It wasn’t the first time she’d been caught smoking outside the girls’ room, either. “The Principal is making me go to Saturday Detention TWICE,” she tells us, “I had to go last Saturday and I have to go again next Saturday.” “GOOD!” I tell her, “You’re obviously the kind of girl that has to learn your lessons the hard way.” “Yes, sir,” she acknowledges, “But when I was in school on Saturday, I was also on toilet suspension.” “I had to be here all day Saturday and I wasn’t allowed to use the toilet,” she points out, “I wet my pants, of course, but I also messed myself bad – really bad.” “Well, that’s what happens when you’re on toilet suspension,” I tell her, shrugging my shoulders, “If that was going to be a problem for you, then maybe you shouldn’t have been smoking in the girls’ room.”

“Yes, sir – But that’s not really fair because Saturday was an extra day that I had to be on toilet suspension,” she tells us, “And the next Saturday is going to be another extra day that I have to be on toilet suspension.” Actually, I’m still quite puzzled as to specifically what she’s trying to say. “You put me on toilet suspension for 3 weeks – That’s 15 days of not being allowed to use the girls’ room in school,” she explains further, “But now with 2 days of Saturday Detention while on toilet suspension, I’ll have 17 days of toilet suspension instead of 15.” “I think I should now be allowed to use the toilet in school next Monday instead of next Wednesday,” she argues, “That would give me the original 15 days on toilet suspension that I’m supposed to have after you count the Saturday Detentions.

Kourtney does raise an interesting point. Her request, however, is pretty ridiculous. “You want me to shorten your toilet suspension punishment because you got 2 days of Saturday Detention from the Principal?” I ask her. “Well, sir – It’s not really that you’re shortening my punishment,” she contends, “It’s just that you’d be counting those days as part of my punishment.” “It’s shortening the end of your punishment from next Wednesday to next Monday,” I point out, “And that’s simply not going to happen.” “If you were stupid enough to get caught smoking AGAIN and put on Saturday Detention,” I explain, “You just have to suffer the consequences of that Saturday Detention – ALL the consequences.” “Your toilet suspension will end when it’s scheduled to end – and that is next Wednesday,” I further explain, “And as to having extra punishment due to those Saturdays, you’ve got no one to blame for that but yourself.” “I can’t believe you’d be smoking in school AGAIN right after getting placed on toilet suspension for doing exactly that,” I tell her, shaking my head. “But I didn’t smoke in the girls’ room,” Kourtney tells us exasperated, “I shouldn’t have to do extra days on toilet suspension when it wasn’t smoking in the smoking in the girls’ room.” But I just look at her shaking my head. “I’m sorry but your punishment is what your punishment is,” I tell her, “You’ve got no one but yourself to blame for adding Saturdays detentions to your schedule.”

I also remind her that she still has a writing assignment due. Initially, she had to write “I will not smoke in the girls’ room in school again” 1,000 times. But she had only completed half of that by its due date last week. She then got the 500 times not done doubled to 1,000 times and due in another week. “Those 1,000 times are due on Monday,” I remind her, “Not only will we double it again whatever you haven’t done, but you get placed on toilet suspension, too.” “OBVIOUSLY, I’m already on toilet suspension,” she says sarcastically. “OBVIOUSLY, you’ll be on toilet suspension longer, then,” I tell her, “For every day the punishment assignment isn’t done after two weeks, we’ll just add those days to your toilet suspension.” “Perhaps you won’t even get your toilet privileges back by next Wednesday,” I tell her with a smile, “I suggest that you get the writing assignment done on time this time.”

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Just as I’m about to move on the next case, the proceedings are suddenly interrupted by a bit of a commotion in the back of the committee room. I see that our very strict French Teacher Mrs. Defequer is here and she doesn’t look happy. With her is a smart and pretty sophomore named Becca and she doesn’t look happy, either. I recognize Becca quite well as it was only last Friday that the TVPC punished her for panty-soiling -- her 3rd such violation this school year. Additionally she has toilet violations for “Clogging The Toilet” -- Category #2 -- and “Using A Faculty Bathroom” on her toilet record for this school year. That latter offense happened as she visiting an opposing school as a member of our field hockey team -- a case decided at our Oct. 17th TVPC session. Quite frankly, I’m a bit surprised and more than a little disappointed to see her before the TVPC now. But as disappointed as I may be, I just have to accept it -- LIFE GOES ON, I guess. Friday, I sentence her to (among other things), a week of after-school toilet sitting and the fact that she’s not currently doing that in the Main Corridor Girls’ Room can’t be a good thing. And as I take note of the way that Becca is walking as I motion both of them up to podium, I get a pretty good idea of why Mrs. Defequer has brought her here instead.

“Again?” I ask our pretty, blonde French Teacher. “Again, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Defequer tells me, directing an angry -- or at lest disappointed -- look in Becca’s direction. Mrs. Defequer then tells us that while she was performing her routine duties checking on our girls who were doing toilet sitting and toilet cleaning punishments this afternoon, she came upon Becca serving her assigned toilet sitting punishment. “I could tell immediately by the way she reacted to seeing me that something was wrong,” Mrs. Defequer reports, “The way she was holding her hands over her panties made it pretty obvious that she had something in her panties that she didn’t want me to see.” As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, when girls are doing toilet sitting punishments for the TVPC, they must do so with the stall door left open and panties pulled down to at least knee level. That way, of course, it’s easy for our monitors to check on them, and if a girl’s got something to hide, it’s easier to catch them. “I guess there’s no regulation telling where a girl’s gotta hold her hands while she’s toilet sitting, Mr. Chairman,” Mrs. Defequer tells me, “But when a girl suddenly moves her hands to cover her panties, you pretty much know that something is up.” “When I then ordered her to move her hands, I got to see what she was trying to hide,” Mrs. Defequer further reports, “It wasn’t as bad as the one she did on Friday, but there was still a quite substantial mess right there in the seat of her panties.”

“Again, Becca?” I then ask the toilet-troubled sophomore beauty, shaking my head, “Another mess in your panties?” Ashamedly, Becca nods her head “yes.” “Shame on you!” I then tell her, again shaking my head, “Shame, shame on you!” “It wasn’t bad enough what you did on Friday,” I lecture her, “So now you have to go and do another one in your panties?” “You haven’t even finished your punishment yet for your prior accident and now you have another one,” I point out. “Shame, shame, shame on you!” I reiterate. Becca is really a sweet girl -- a shy, quiet type and perennial honor roll student -- and I really don’t like being so harsh with her, but two panty-soilings within a week is really quite shameful. “At least it wasn’t so bad this time,” she -- rather meekly -- tells me, not so much in her defense, but pretty much just desperate to say something -- anything, really -- to explain what’s she’s done.

“It was bad enough,” Mrs. Defequer then tells her. “It wasn’t just a few skidmarks or a little in your panties from not quite making it in time,” she reminds the sophomore blonde, “Just because it wasn’t as much in your panties as last time, doesn’t make it any less shameful.” “This was you doing yet another bowel movement in your panties, wasn’t it?” she asks the girl sternly. Once again, Becca can only nod her head “yes.” For the record, I ask her if this was maybe a case of her doing some of it in her panties before doing the rest of it in the toilet. “Was this a matter of you just not quite making it to the toilet in time?” I ask. In tears, Becca just shakes her head “no.” She then reluctantly acknowledges that she did the whole thing in her panties. That, in turn, just leave me shaking my head at her. Apparently, this was just a smaller bowel movement than the one she did in pants on Friday. She’s wearing loose-fitting jeans and the load in her panties isn’t readily visible as she stands before our committee now. But obviously with her panties pulled down and her sitting on the toilet, that’s a different story.

Upon further questioning from me, the toilet troubled sophomore explains that she did try to do it in the girls’ room -- even going so far as to get a girls’ room pass in study hall 7th period. “I didn’t want to do it in my pants, sir -- I really didn’t,” she tells me, “I wanted to do it in the toilet, I really did.” “But when I did go to the girls’ room, there were so many other girls around,” she says. . “Even Miss Musso was in there doing her business,” Becca notes, “I don’t know why she would be doing it in there instead of in the faculty bathroom, but she was right there doing it in one of the stalls in the girls’ room.” “Well, lots of girls use the girls’ room -- that’s actually what it’s there for,” Mrs. Adler, a TVPC member, chimes in, a tone of sarcasm in her voice, “Lots of girls your age prefer to do their bowel movements there in the toilet instead of in their pants.”

Becca acknowledges Mrs. Adler’s point but explains that it is difficult for her to use public bathrooms when other people are around. “I thought that since it was class time, I’d be alone in there,” she explains, “I think if I was alone in there and had to go bad enough which I did, I could have used the toilet instead,” she reasons, “But I just couldn’t do it in there with so many other girls around -- not #2.” “I just peed,” she says. “I had to do that, too, so I just did that and decided to hold it in for #2.” She explains that she then ended up going in her panties 8th period during English class. The fact that the panty-load wasn’t too bad this time no doubt accounts for the fact that she wasn’t immediately caught in class 8th period. But sitting on the toilet in detention with her panties exposed, however, the mess was obviously quite difficult to hide. So, I guess you didn’t manage to hold it in after all,” Mrs. Adler taunts her, “I guess your plan didn’t quite work out, did it?” “No, Ma’am,” Becca meekly answers back , obviously quite embarrassed at having yet another -- for the 4th time already this year -- mess in her panties.

Moving on to the consideration of Becca’s punishment, the sweet sophomore beauty pleads for leniency -- citing, amongst other things -- that she still hasn’t finished the 500 times she has to write for the last accident she had and that she still has toilet sitting detention to serve as well. But that, of course, hardly makes a case for leniency. “The fact that you’ve had two accidents within such a short period of time suggest a more severe punishment,” I tell her, “The fact that you still haven’t finished your punishment from your last one and still go and do another one, is certainly NOT a consideration in your favor.” “And the fact that you’ve also got a violation for ‘Using A Faculty Bathroom’ -- and while representing the school, too boot -- doesn’t help you, either,” I further note, “It’s more than apparent that you’re in need of a very strong incentive to get you to do your bowel movements in the girls’ room where they belong.”

Much to Becca’s horror, Mrs. Adler then suggests that Becca be sent down the hall to the girls’ room to clean up her mess right here in school. She notes that when Becca got punished that way last year (after her 6th panty-soiling last year), she didn’t have another one -- at least not in school. I do seriously consider that -- and I make sure that Becca fully understands that -- but it’s highly unusual to impose that kind of punishment for only her 4th panty-soiling violation and especially when it’s not a particularly bad mess, either. In school mess cleaning punishment is typically assigned starting with a 6th panty-soiling violation or at least, when an accident is an unusually severe one.

Rest assured, you’ll be facing that if we see you before us in soiled panties again this year,” I sternly warn her, “I hope you understand that I don’t actually HAVE TO wait until your 6th offense to assign that.” “So unless you actually want to have to clean your messy panties and clean yourself right here in the girls’ room at school,” I continue, “I suggest you learn to start doing it in the toilet in the girl’s room instead.” “I think you’ll find it’s a lot easier to simply go in the toilet when you need to rather than have to clean it out of your panties later,” I add. She looks suitably concerned at the prospect of that so we‘ll just have to hope for the best.

In the meantime, I sentence her to write, “I will not soil my panties in school again” 1,000 times and I add 2 weeks to the toilet sitting detention that she’s to serve. She begins to argue about the severity of her punishment, but I put up my hand to stop her. Admittedly, it’s pretty severe punishment for her 4th offense, but as I’ve noted she also has other violations and her having 2 panty-soilings in such a short time causes me great concern. She still seems to think I should cut her a break because she’s already got a lot or writing to do. But I just shake my head at the notion of that. “Well, maybe then you shouldn’t have messed in your panties again,” Mrs. Adler suggests. “I mean, it’s not really a hard concept to understand, is it?” she rhetorically asks the toilet-troubled sophomore, “I mean, if you had just gone in the toilet in the girl’s room like you should have, you wouldn’t have to be doing writing punishment, would you?” Becca then just stands there crying before I direct her back to the girls’ room to resume her toilet sitting punishment.

Next up before the TVPC is a shy and quiet sophomore honor student named Ally. The skinny brunette is charged with clogging a toilet in the New Addition Girls’ Room. Specifically, she is charged with a “Category #1” clog under TVPC rules. As reported by Mrs. Johns -- who found the clogged toilet while making a routine check of the girls’ rooms during 3rd period this morning -- this is apparently a case of a girl’s bowel movement being so big that it clogged the toilet when she tried to flush it. Given that a girl can’t always control the size of her bowel movements, it is, of course, the least serious way, under TVPC rules, that a toilet can get clogged. Accordingly -- and given Ally’s good toilet record thus far this year (she’s only got a “Urinating In A Clogged Toilet” violation and a violation for “Being Late To Class For Bathroom Purposes”) -- she’s not facing any serious punishment for this. Ally has, however, pleaded “Not Guilty” to the charge. I see that Ally’s closest friends are here in attendance. Trish is serving time in the detention section while Dez and Austin are here in the spectators’ area. Trish, Dez, AUSTIN AND ALLY are inseparable.

“Oh! Please!!” Ally argues, looking at a picture of the enormous bowel movement that pretty much just overwhelmed the drain in the bottom of the toilet, “Do you really think a girl my size could do something like that?” “I can’t even believe it was a girl who did that,” the articulate beauty speculates, “Are we sure one of the football players didn’t sneak into the girls’ room to do that?” Her comments raise a few giggles in the committee room. Looking at the picture of this truly mammoth bowel movement hopelessly clogged in the bottom of that poor toilet, I have to wonder myself is a skinny girl like Ally is really capable of producing something like that. Naturally, I ask Mrs. Johns about that. “I’m not saying it would necessarily have to be someone as big as a football player who did that,” I suggest, “But certainly I’d think it would be someone bigger than Ally.”

But our ace bathroom monitor counters that you never know what some girls are capable of. “I’ve seen some quite enormous bowel movements in our toilets over the years,” Mrs. Johns explains, “And it’s oftentimes quite surprising when we discover the girl who did it.” “I’ve seen some pretty small and skinny girls lay down some truly enormous bowel movements,” Mrs. Johns continues, “As I said, it’s oftentimes surprising what some girls can do.” But when I question our ace bathroom monitor further, she does acknowledge that this particular bowel movement is pretty much in a class by itself and even she -- after all these years monitoring our toilets -- wouldn’t normally think a girl of Ally’s size would be capable of. “But, as I’ve said, Mr. Chairman, I’ve seen a lot of surprising bowel movements from girls no one would think capable of delivering,” she argues, “And, surprising as it may seem, I do think this one came for Ally.” “I’m not saying Ally clogged the toilet on purpose, Mr. Chairman -- obviously, she didn’t,” Mrs. Johns continues, “Obviously, it’s just one of those bowel movements that a girl sometimes does and it was just too big to make it down the toilet.” “Obviously, it’s not really her fault -- In fact, I think she handled it the whole thing really well,” our ace bathroom monitor argues, “Even though that’s quite a clog in there, I would still think that the most lenient punishment is in order in this case.”

Before moving on to Ally’s punishment, though, we have to find her “Guilty” and I’m not sure that she is. As I’ve noted, the pretty, well-spoken sophomore brunette has pleaded “Not Guilty” and is sticking to her story that it wasn’t her. “I don’t know what else I can say, sir,” Ally tells me, “But it just wasn’t me.” “I’ve never done a bowel movement like that my entire life,” she says, “It just wasn’t me who did that.” “Besides, sir,” she tells me, chuckling a bit, “When I use the toilet, I definitely do wipe myself -- especially when I go #2.” That last comment is in reference to the picture which shows no toilet paper in the bowl with that enormous bowel movement.

Mrs. Johns, though, easily explains that away with the notion that Ally could have gone to another stall to wipe herself. “Just because you did the bowel movement there, doesn’t mean you had to wipe yourself there,” she tells Ally, “You could have easily just gone into another stall to wipe yourself.” “In fact, that’s actually what you’re supposed to do in a case like that,” Mrs. Johns points out, “Obviously, once a toilet is clogged like that, you don’t need to be adding toilet paper to the clog.” As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know a “Category #2“ clog -- that is, clogging with a combination of toilet paper and a bowel movement -- is considered a little more serious than clogging with a bowel movement alone. “That’s what I meant when I said that I thought you handled this well,” Mrs. Johns adds.

She then goes on to tell us that it was while routinely checking the girls’ rooms during 3rd period this morning she came across the enormous toilet clogging bowel movement. “I would think that if it was there during the passing time between 2nd and 3rd periods, it would have been discovered then,” Mrs. Johns reasons, “So I think we can be pretty certain that whoever did it, did it during 3rd period. She explains that she then focused her investigation on girls who used the girls’ room -- specifically, the Main Corridor Girls’ Room -- during 3rd period before the clog was discovered. “I found out from Mrs. Defequer that Ally used a pass to the girls’ room during 3rd period,” the pretty, bathroom monitor reports, “And I was told that Ally was gone more than the usual amount of time.” Mrs. Defequer is out French teacher and her classroom is just a few doors down from the Main Corridor Girls’ Room. The implication, of course, is that Ally was gone long enough to suggest that she was doing a bowel movement and that the Main Corridor Girls’ Room was the place she likely did it. “Ally was actually gone for more than usual amount of time for even a bowel movement,” Mrs. Defequer then chimes in. “I know Ally is a good student and I would never think she’d be doing anything seriously inappropriate,” Mrs. Defequer adds, “But it’s certainly consistent with her perhaps clogging the toilet and then trying to figure out what to do next.”

Turning now to Ally, the pretty and likable brunette acknowledges that she did indeed do a bowel movement in the girls’ room this morning and that she did so, of course, in the Main Corridor Girls’ Room right close to her French class. She says that the length of time that she was in the girls’ room was due to her having a bit of a stomach ache. “I was sitting on the toilet and it was just coming out slowly,” she explains, “It was just coming out one little piece at a time and it was taking a really long time to finish.” “Then I thought I was done and I wiped myself,” Ally continues, “But then I had to go some more and I had to wipe myself all over again.” But she reiterates again that she simply did not clog the toilet. “I flushed once after I finished wiping myself the first time and then I flushed again when I was finally finished and had to wipe myself again,” she explains further, “And both times it all went down without any problems. That is, of course, exactly how a girl should handle a situation like that. Upon questioning from me, she claims to have not seen the clogged toilet when she was in there. But she also says that she wouldn’t expect to have seen it anyway. “I just walked into the first stall I came to, checked for toilet paper, and then sat down to do my business,” she tells us, “And when I was done, I just went over to the sinks and washed my hands and went back to class.” “It certainly could have been there at the time and I just didn’t see it,” Ally claims, “The only thing that I know is that I didn’t do it.” “If I’d have seen the clogged toilet, I certainly would have told Mrs. Defequer about it when I got back to class,” she adds.

I do caution Ally that if she did clog the toilet like that, it wouldn’t be a serious offense and it would be best to just admit it now. “Your punishment would only be a minor one,” I point out, “The last thing you need is to get yourself a more serious punishment for lying about it.” And I tell Ally that if she does know who did it, she needs to tell me now. I wonder if Ally is perhaps covering for her friend Trish, who is a bigger girl and who has clogged toilets before. But Ally still maintains her innocence and tells us that she and Trish were not in the girls’ room together at all today. Trish -- serving detention today for wetting her pants in detention yesterday -- confirms that. She says she went to the bathroom “to pee” earlier today at lunchtime and just now went “the other way” before reporting here for detention. She says that she didn’t clog the toilet, either and didn’t even use the Main Corridor Girls’ Room at all today.

Considering the evidence, I have no doubt that Mrs. Johns is sincere in her belief that Ally did clog the toilet. And she’s done a good job gathering evidence that it really could have been her. But I’m just not sure. Ally’s explanations all have a ring of truth to them and Ally is not known as a liar. Simply put, I believe her. “There’s just not enough evidence for us to find her “Guilty” of this charge,” I explain and note for the record. Accordingly, the TVPC finds her “Not Guilty” of “Clogging the Toilet.” “Thank you,” Ally says, beaming that lovely smile of hers.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

I am certainly not pleased to see that the next case before us is a prissy, girly-girl sophomore named Emma. Looking over the Violation Report filed by Mrs. Johns, I see that this blonde-haired beauty is charged with “Improper Use Of Toilet Paper.” At first, I’m puzzled by the charge. Faithful readers of the TVPC surely know that TVPC rules provide for two violations when it comes to misuse of toilet paper. “Wasting Toilet Paper” -- the more serious of the two -- is when a girl uses toilet paper for something other than it’s intended purpose. The intended purpose, of course, is for a girl wiping herself after either urinating or having a bowel movement. “Using Too Much Toilet Paper” -- the less serious of the two -- refers to a girl using toilet paper for it’s intended purpose but simply using more of it than is necessary to properly wipe herself. We don’t often see girls charged with the latter offense as it’s usually hard to really say that a girl used too much. We give girls considerable leeway in determining how much toilet paper they need to use. That being established, I’m a bit puzzled at first as to the charge of “Improper Use Of Toilet Paper.”

But as I read the Violation Report -- expertly filled out by Mrs. Johns -- and recall Emma’s most recent visit before the TVPC, I think I have a much better understanding of what this case is about. Emma’s most recent visit before the TVPC was on her 3rd violation of “Wasting Toilet Paper.” It seems that the sophomore beauty apparently squats over the toilet when she urinates but sits all the way down on the toilet seat when she defecates or goes both ways. And when she sits all the way down, she stubbornly insists on using quite a bit of toilet paper to line the seat with beforehand. Teachers will oftentimes give girls a little leeway if they want to put a little toilet paper down on the seat before they sit down. But they most certainly will not tolerate wasting it like Emma has a habit of doing when she has to sit all the way down on the toilet seat. The notion that such toilet paper is needed has been BUNK’D a long time ago. It was about 3 weeks ago that Emma was last punished by the TVPC for “Wasting Toilet Paper” in this manner. It being her 3rd such offense, it was more than apparent that a stern does of punishment was necessary -- a punishment that would truly make the prissy sophomore blonde understand the importance of toilet paper and why it shouldn’t be wasted. Accordingly -- in addition to a hefty writing assignment and a week in detention restocking the toilet paper in the stalls -- we decided on a punishment specifically designed to teach her that lesson. And now -- at least according to Mrs. Johns -- EMMA has violated that punishment.

“I thought I made it perfectly clear, young lady,” I angrily admonish her, “I thought I made it perfectly that for the next month you were not to use any school toilet paper.” “I thought we made it clear that you needed to learn to appreciate the availability of school toilet paper in the girls’ rooms for you to use,” I lecture her, “I thought that you understood that since you continued to waste it like you did, it was no longer going to be available for you to use.” “Yes, sir,” Emma then acknowledges. “You know, we could have banned you from using any toilet paper in school at all,” I continue in a very stern tone, “We could have even put you on toilet suspension and not let you use school toilets at all.” “But we thought you deserved a bit of a break -- We didn’t think you quite needed a punishment that severe to teach you the lesson you needed,” I remind Emma, “So we decided to let you continue to use school toilets and to continue to wipe yourself when you did.” “All you had to do was bring your own toilet paper from home,” I remind her further, “All you had to do in order to properly wipe yourself here at school was use your own toilet paper instead of ours.” “Yes, sir,” Emma says again, this time seeming a bit more upset as she starts to realize just how angry I am about this. “When the TVPC imposes a particular punishment on you, young lady, we expect you to abide by that punishment,” I angrily tell her, “When the TVPC tells you that you can’t use school toilet paper for a month, we certainly don’t expect you to continue wiping yourself with it.”

Hearing my harsh words, the pretty blonde sophomore cannot help but burst into tears. “I was desperate, sir -- I was really desperate,” she tells me as the tears fall. “I had to go poop and I just couldn’t wait,” she says, “I had to go poop and I really did have to do it here in one of the girls’ rooms -- I just couldn’t wait until I got home.” I believe her, of course -- knowing her as I do, I can’t imagine her deciding to “poop” at school without it being quite urgent -- but that still doesn’t quite explain what happened. I look at her puzzled. She then looks back at me more than a little surprised that I don’t get it. “Well, I couldn’t very well not wipe myself after going poop,” she tells me. “I mean, I went pee earlier and I did just drip-dry after that,” she explains, “But it’s not like I could do that with having to poop.” “I mean, I know I’m not supposed to use any of the school toilet paper, but I just didn’t have anything else,” she says, “I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“You could have just followed your punishment like you were supposed to!” Mrs. Adler, a TVPC member, answers her, “When the TVPC says that you can’t use school toilet paper, then you’d better not use school toilet paper.” “If that leaves you with nothing to wipe with, that’s your problem,” she argues, “If it were up to me that’s exactly what your punishment would have been in the first place.” “If it were up to me, you wouldn’t have even be allowed to wipe yourself in school at all,” she tells Emma, “But the committee decided to go easy on you and let you bring your own toilet paper from home and you don’t even do that.” Hopefully, this time the committee will listen to me and make you go without wiping yourself at all -- maybe that’ll teach you the lesson you need,” the strict committeewoman suggests. “As far as I’m concerned, you had your chance to bring your own toilet paper to wipe with and you didn’t,” she explains, “So now you should have to do without it entirely.”

But Emma reacts in horror at the prospect of that. “Please, sir -- I have to wipe myself when I go,” she tells me, “I mean, I guess I could just drip-dry when I pee -- That’s nasty but I can deal with that,” she argues, “But I can’t go without wiping when it’s #2 -- I just can’t.” She goes on to tell us that she has been bringing toilet paper to school to wipe herself with but that she simply didn’t have any today. “I always put either a half roll or pre-folded wads of toilet paper in my purse,” she explains, “I’ve been doing that ever since I’ve been on this punishment and I’ve been wiping myself with that.” “But yesterday, I used a lot of it -- I finished the roll I had in my purse,” she explains further, “And I just forget to get more.” “I just forgot, sir -- I just forgot to get more toilet paper for today,” she tells me, “It’s not like I was being disrespectful of my punishment, sir -- It’s just that I forgot to bring toilet paper with me to school today.” She also assures me that she didn’t use an excessive amount of toilet paper today. “I only wiped three times -- I only wiped as much as was necessary,” she says, “And like I said before, I didn’t even wipe myself at all when I just peed.” Mrs. Johns confirms for us what Emma is saying. “As far as I could see, she did only wipe as necessary,” the ever vigilant bathroom monitor explains, “There was no problem at all other than her inappropriately using the school toilet paper.”

Determining the appropriate punishment in this case isn’t easy. Mrs. Adler, of course, advocates for a harsh punishment. “What she really deserves is a toilet suspension,” Mrs. Adler argues, “There wouldn’t be an issue with her using toilet paper if she doesn’t even get to use the bathroom at all.” “But I doubt the rest of you will even consider that,” she acknowledges, “But I would hope that we would at least impose a period of time where she’ll have to go without wiping herself in school at all.” “She was given the opportunity to provide her own toilet paper but she clearly abused that privilege,” the strict committeewoman argues, “So now she should simply be forced to do without when she needs to use the girls’ room at school.” Actually, Mrs. Adler -- though, harsh as she oftentimes is -- isn’t completely wrong. Not complying with terms of a TVPC-imposed punishment is, more often than not, sufficient cause for placing a girl on toilet suspension. But that really would be unnecessarily harsh in this instance. Not allowing her to wipe at all in school -- even with her own toilet paper from home -- seems a lot more reasonable and I seriously do consider supporting that. But even that seems unreasonably harsh under these circumstances. After all, Emma was apparently complying with her punishment but simply forgot to bring her own toilet paper to school today. And really all that she did do today was do a bowel movement in the toilet and wipe herself like she’d normally be expected to do.

Emma offers to bring a roll of toilet paper to school tomorrow to replace the toilet paper she used today. But that is obviously not the point and I tell her so. “The point is that you violated your punishment,” I tell her matter-of-factly, “It was a punishment imposed by this committee and it was a punishment you richly deserved and you did violate it.”

But after careful consideration, the TVPC decides simply to extend her current punishment. “You’ll have to do another month where you’re not allowed to use school toilet paper,” I then inform her and note for the record, “If you want to wipe yourself at school, you’re going to have to keep bringing your own toilet paper.” EMMA lets out an audible groan at hearing that -- I can only assume it’s a serious inconvenience to always have to carry your own toilet paper in school. But I’m not at all pleased with her reaction to hearing her punishment. “We can always change that so you DON’T have to worry about bringing your own toilet paper to school,” I suggest, “We can still arrange that you not be allowed to wipe yourself at all in school.” She then quickly changes her attitude. She assures me that she does appreciate the opportunity to bring toilet paper from home and wipe herself with that. “And if you do intend to wipe yourself when you use the girls’ room in school, you’d better remember your toilet paper from now on,” I warn her, “They’ll be no more excuses if you violate your punishment again.” “And by that I don’t mean that you’ll have to go without wiping if you use the girls’ room at school,” I then clarify my warning, “I man that if you violate this punishment again, you’ll go on toilet suspension and not being able to wipe yourself will be the least of your problems.” Looking Emma in the eye, I think that she appreciates the seriousness of my warning and how she really did catch a break today. I further sentence the beautiful but prissy blonde to another week of after-school detention refilling the toilet paper holders in the girls’ rooms. Officially, that is considered bathroom cleaning detention, but it’s no doubt one of the least onerous of the various bathroom cleaning tasks. Mrs. Adler, of course, looks disappointed at that as well. I’m sure she’d want Emma to be spending her time scrubbing out toilet bowls instead.

In one sense, I’m certainly not surprised to see Willow, a quiet introspective junior appear before the TVPC. With three previous panty-soiling offenses already this year and one for doing a bowel movement in the nurse‘s office bathroom, she’s certainly no stranger to us. What does surprise me, however, is the offense for which she is charged today – specifically, leaving the toilet unflushed after a bowel movement.

“I have no reason to believe that she did on purpose,” reports Miss Bliss, who filed the charge against her, “I think she was probably just in a little bit of a hurry, got a little careless and just forgot to flush.” “Yes, sir – I didn’t do it on purpose,” Willow explains as she starts to cry. “There’s no reason to cry,” I tell her, “I believe you that it wasn’t on purpose.” “It is a toilet violation,” I explain, “But it’s not really a serious toilet violation at all.” “Besides, I’m proud of you for doing your bowel movement in a girls’ room toilet this time,” I point out, “You should be proud of yourself as well.” Willow suddenly beams a broad smile for a change. There hasn’t been much about her school toilet habits to be proud of until now and I guess it just feels good for her to hear that. Even if it is in the context of a toilet violation, at least it isn’t a violation for going in her panties.

“It must feel good to go in the toilet,” I tell her, “I’m sure it must feel good to not be walking around school in messy underwear.” “I still don’t like doing it in the girls’ room but it does feel great not to have messy underwear,” the mousey-type junior beauty explains, “But I guess that I have to go in the toilet if I don’t want to have messy underwear.” “I’m tired of having messy panties all the time and I’m tired of getting punished for it as well,” she goes on, “I think I’m a little old to be going in my panties so much – I’m trying to do better now.” “I guess I’ll just have to remember to flush the toilet next time,” she acknowledges, still showing a bit of pride at finally doing a bowel movement in one of the girls’ room toilets, “I hope I’m not going to get punished too bad for this.”

Actually, I wish that I didn’t have to punish her at all, but she did commit a toilet violation by not flushing the toilet (and not flushing after a bowel movement is certainly worse than if she had only urinated) and my duty is clear. I must also, in determining her punishment, take into consideration her lengthy record of previous toilet violations. But the last thing I want to do is discourage her from using the toilet again. I decide to give her 3 days detention and make her write 250 times, “I must remember to flush the toilet in school.” That’s a pretty stiff sentence for accidentally leaving the toilet unflushed (even after a bowel movement) but certainly not as much as I could have given her based on her toilet record.

“I hope this doesn’t discourage you from doing your bowel movements in the school toilets,” I tell her, “I hope you’ll continue to use them instead of going in your panties – that is always something you can be proud of.” I don’t suppose it’s ever pleasant to be punished by the TVPC, but this certainly is the happiest I’ve ever seen her leave the podium.

Our last item on the TVPC agenda today is a bit of committee business. Faithful readers of the TVPC should remember our Nov. 19th TVPC session -- one week ago -- when 2 girls named Britney and Christina were punished for teasing and harassing another girl in the girls’ room. That girl was a tall and very pretty girl named Mary -- a girl who was also the leading scorer on our girls’ basketball team last year. Mary was getting teased by Britney and Christina for doing a bowel movement in the girls’ room across from the school cafeteria during their lunch period. Apparently, because that girls’ room is typically crowded during the lunch periods, it’s considered taboo by some for a girl to do anything more than urinate in there. But, as Mary pointed out last week, there are toilets not urinals in there and there is no reason why a girl shouldn’t be able to do whatever it is that she needs to do in one of those toilets. As punishment, Britney and Christina were each required to write, “I will not tease or harass another girl in the girls’ room again” 300 times and to write Mary a 1,000 word letter of apology.

A check of TVPC records shows that Britney handed in the 300 times assignment 2 days later and her 1,000 word apology essay the day after that. Christina, however, has not yet handed in either punishment and both, of course, are due today. As per standard TVPC procedure, Christina is now called back before the TVPC and given one last chance to hand in her punishments. Punishments not handed in on time are, of course, doubled.

As Christina, a gorgeous sophomore brunette, comes to the podium I am happy to see that she’s got a manila folder in her hand. I first ask her if she has completed her 1,000 word apology essay to Mary. “Yes, sir,” she tells me, holding up the folder, “I stayed up late last night to finish it and I have it right here.” I then direct her to hand her essay to the TVPC clerk. Surprisingly, she hands the entire folder to the clerk. Checking with our clerk, he then confirms that the folder contains only Christina’s punishment essay and not her repetitive writing assignment.

Of course, I then ask her about that writing assignment. But Christina, unfortunately, just shakes her head. “I’m sorry, sir,” she tells me, “But I just didn’t finish that one. She then starts to make an excuse for not finishing it, but I quickly stop her. “First things first, young lady,” I tell her, as I suggest she hand in what she’s completely thus far. “At least you’ll get credit for what you’ve written thus far,” I explain, “That way we’ll only double that portion you haven’t written yet.” But Christina just stands there shaking her head as she tells me that she hasn’t written ANY of the 300 times yet. “NONE?” I ask her incredulously, “You don’t have ANY of your punishment done?” “I’m sorry, sir -- I was just too busy,” she says, “I was up late last night just finishing my essay punishment.” “Well, that wasn’t your only punishment, young lady,” I remind her, “You had 300 sentences to write in addition to that essay.” “And you had an entire week to get it all done, Christina,” I remind her further, “I just can’t believe that you didn’t get ANY of it done.” “I just didn’t have time,” Christina reiterates, as she explains that she also had a writing assignment -- this one 500 times -- to complete for Miss Bliss this past week.

That last comment raises more than a few eyebrows in the committee room. Miss Bliss is generally regarded as one of the nicest teachers in the whole school and I’m quite frankly surprised to hear of her giving a punishment like that. “I’m thinking you must have done something really bad to get an assignment like that from Miss Bliss,” Mrs. Crabtree, a TVPC member, suggests, “I’m thinking you must have really pushed it to get a punishment like that from her.” Upon further questioning from Mrs. Crabtree and myself, Christina explains that it was because she was listening to music on her cell phone in study hall. Both Christina and her friend, Britney plan on pursuing careers in the music industry when they graduate. Upon further questioning from Mrs. Crabtree, Christina admits that Miss Bliss only gave her that punishment after 2 prior warnings to put the cell phone away. “That’s more like it,” Mrs. Crabtree says with a smile. The implication, of course, is that Miss Bliss would only give a punishment like that after 2 previous warnings had failed.

But none of that is really of concern to the TVPC. Listening to music in study hall is obviously not a toilet-related offense. The only thing the TVPC is concerned about is Christina not having completed her repetitive writing assignment -- specifically, not having completed ANY of the 300 times. “Well, that’s 300 times not done, Christina,” I remind her, and note for the record, “So that makes 600 times that you owe us now.” She then groans and starts to protest. But I immediately stop her. “Sorry, Christina -- it’s automatic,” I tell her, “Assignments not completed in a week are automatically doubled.” I then inform her that the 600 times are due one week from today and I warn her of what happens if she still doesn’t have it all finished by then. “Next time we not only double the punishment not completed,” I warn her, “But we also put you on toilet suspension until you do get it finished.” “That means no using the bathroom in school for any reason,” I clarify, “You can’t use the toilet no matter what you need to do.” “I don’t think you want to experience a toilet suspension, young lady,” I warn the sophomore beauty, “So I rather strongly suggests you do whatever it is that you have to do to make sure you get all 600 times done by this time next week.”

So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:18 PM.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Christina's Punishment Essay

Name: Christina

TVPC Punishment Essay

Offense: Teasing and Harassing Another Girl in the Girls’ Room

Offense Date: November 19, 2019

Length: 1,000 Words

Due Date: November 26, 2019

I am writing this 1,000 word punishment essay to apologize to Mary for teasing her in the girls’ room last Tuesday. This happened in the girls’ room across from the cafeteria during lunch period. It was my friend Britney and I who were teasing Mary while Mary was in the stall on the toilet doing a bowel movement. We had no reason to be teasing her because Mary was doing nothing wrong. She was only using the toilet like she was supposed to do. We were wrong to tease and harass Mary in the girls’ room because Mary has a right to use the toilet in the girls’ room without being teased and harass while she does so. I am very sorry for what I did and promise never to do it again. I promise that I will never tease or harass anyone on the toilet again. In the future I will simply mind my own business in the girls’ room and do what I need to do without bothering anyone else.

I can only say that I know now what Britney and I were doing is wrong. But we were just not thinking about that at the time. Also, Britney and I didn’t go into the girls’ room for the purposes of teasing Mary. We were on our lunch period and we really did go into the girls’ room because we had to pee. We didn’t even know Mary was in the girls’ room at the time until we saw her going into a stall. It just kind of happened that we starting teasing and harassing her. I know that’s not an excuse for what we did -- it’s still wrong to tease girls when they’re on the toilet -- but I just want to say that it’s not something we had planned. Like I said, we only went into the girls’ room to pee. But it was still stupid and wrong since Mary wasn’t doing anything wrong. Mary was only doing what you’re supposed to do on the toilet

As I said, Britney and I went into the girls’ room to pee. We started to tease Mary because Mary was doing more than just peeing. Mary was having a bowel movement in there. The thing is that it’s a little unusual for girls to do more than just pee in the girls’ room there. I think just about every girl in the whole school goes in there to pee at lunchtime but close no one actually goes in there to have a bowel movement. They don’t like to go #2 in there -- especially at lunch -- because it’s always crowded with girls in there going pee at lunchtime. We mostly only ever use other girls’ rooms for doing more than just peeing because we can have more privacy for doing that. But there really is no reason why girls can’t do bowel movements in that girls’ room if they want to. Mary and any other girl that wants to use that bathroom has every right to use it for having a bowel movement as well as peeing. And neither I nor Britney nor anyone else has a right to tease and harass them for doing so. I certainly wouldn’t want someone to tease and harass me on the toilet and it wasn’t right that we were doing the same to Mary.

It is also really stupid and immature to tease and harass someone for using the toilet. We all have to use the toilet and we all have to use the toilet to have bowel movements sometimes. Mary was only doing something that Britney and I also do as does every girl in this whole school. It was really stupid and immature to be teasing her for doing it just because she was doing it in that particular girls’ room at that particular time. Using the toilet when you need to -- even if you have to do more than just pee and it’s in the same girls’ room with lots of other girls -- is the right thing to do. And, most certainly, a girl should never be teased and harassed for doing it. Going in the toilet is what you’re supposed to do whether you need to pee or whether you need to have a bowel movement. So what I’m saying is that Mary was doing the right thing by dong what she needed to do in the toilet. And Britney and I were obviously doing the wrong thing for teasing and harassing her while she was doing it.

Going in the toilet when you need to go like Mary was doing in the right thing to do. Going in the toilet when you need to go is the best to avoid having accidents in your pants. When I was teasing Mary about her doing it in the girls’ room then as she was, that was like telling Mary that she shouldn’t be having a bowel movement then. It was like telling her that she should have waited and done it somewhere else. But that was wrong because, like I said, you should always go when you need to go. It’s when you wait and try to hold it in is when you have accidents sometimes. When you wait to go to the bathroom you sometimes wait too long and sometimes you put yourself into a position where you can’t get to a toilet in time. That’s when you can have an accident and I should know because I messed in my panties three times last year and once already this year. And obviously, I have no business making fun of someone like Mary who hasn’t had any accidents this year. Mary understands that it’s best to simply go use the toilet and do what you need to do when you have to do it. And that’s something that I need to learn.

But mostly I need to learn that it’s simply wrong to tease and harass other girls when they are using the toilet. I am very sorry for teasing and harassing Mary while she used the toilet and I promise that I’ll never do it again.