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Welcome to the latest session of the secondary branch of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee, or TVPC. As regular readers know, this version of the TVPC is held after school in Room 210. This branch of the TVPC was founded specifically to investigate and punish the toilet infractions of the male student populace, but as the main branch has so much to deal with, we have taken on some of the female student body as well. This session took place on Friday, April 22, 2011.
Our first order of business was a case referred to us by our sister TVPC organization. As recorded on the 03-23-2011 session, Zach Morris and AC Slater admitted to cellophaning several toilets in the main corridor Women's room, which caused several girls to wet themselves, including their friends Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa! Several girls who were victims of this stupid prank came forth, but few wanted to speak before either branch of the TVPC, fearful that they would be punished for using a technically non-functioning toilet like Jessie and Lisa were. Two girls did decide to speak at today's session, however: Twin readheads Jean Grey-Summers and Madelyne Summers. Both girls are full figured and ridiculously attractive.
"We both had to use it pretty badly after Chem lab," Jean began.
"So we went into the nearest bathroom to do our business,"Madelyne continued, pushing up the round glasses on her freckle dotted face. The girls were always finishing each other's sentences like that: it was UNCANNY, like something out of the X-MEN.
"So I went in a stall,"Jean said.
"...hiked up my skirt, yanked down my panties, and let go." Madelyne finished.
"I had only went for a few seconds before I realized I was messing myself." Jean sighed.
"Got poo all over my backside and urine in my panties," Madelyne angrily huffed as she stared icily at Zack and Slater.
No violation report was filed against the girls, so they didn't receive a toilet punishment. I ordered Zack and Slater to come to the podium. I'm sure they thought they would get a chance to plead their case, but they thought wrong. "Your admission of guilt is already on record," I said, "Anything else that you have to say is entirely superfluous to this case."
"Super-what now?" Zack asked.
"It means unnecessary or pointless--just like you, Preppy!" Slater replied.
"That's not what your Mom says!" Zack jeeringly replied.
"You take that back!" Slater growled, grabbing Zack by the collar.
"ORDER!" I shouted, banging my gavel. When order was restored I tried to go on, but Zack shouted over me.
"Mr. Jagganath," he said, "I think you should know that Jessie's a stripper!"
"ZACK!" The statuesque, curly haired girl shrieked. Jessie had come to watch the boys get their punishment, along with Kelly and Lisa.
"It's true!" Zack went on. "On the weekends, she flies out to Vegas and works as a SHOWGIRL!"
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, ZACK!" Jessie yelled. Kelly and Lisa held her back.
"Hey, if I'm goin' down, so are you!" Zack sneered.
"Mr. Morris," I said, "What Jessie does or doesn't do outside this school has no relevence to this case. As you both have already admitted your guilt, I will go straight to your sentencing: get used to the inside of the main corridor womens room. Both of you are going to be spending a lot of time in there over the coming month."
"W-what do you mean, sir?" Slater stammered.
"For one month, whenever you have to use the restroom, you will report to the main corridor womens room and "do your business" in there." I said.
"WHAT?" both boys exclaimed over the laughter of the girls in attendance.
"If either of you are caught using any of the school's mens rooms in that time, you will be suspended for a week and have another week added to your sentence in the womens room." I then went on to explain exactly how they were expected to relieve themselves in the womens room."You must use the facilities exactly as women do: regardless of whether you have to have a bowel movement or not, you will sit on the toilet. Just to make sure that you do so, the stalls you use must be left open."
"B-but the girls will see us!" Zack exclaimed mournfully.
"Indeed." I replied. "Just to be certain that you two don't get up to anything, I'm assigning a toilet monitor to follow you to and from the bathroom."
"Aw, this is BULLSHIT!" Slater swore angrily.
"MISTER Slater, we do not use gutter language in this room!" I replied. "I'll have 400 lines of "I will not swear in the TVPC chambers" by tomorrow, or it will be doubled." I then spelled out the remainder of the boys' punishment. "Futhermore, both of you will be staying afterschool and cleaning each and every girls room in this building, also for one month. If you pull any further stunts during this time, your punishments will be increased by one week, do you hear me?"
"Yes, sir!" the boys groaned in unison.
"You will also give written apologies to all the girls who suffered because of your juvenile prank. Dismissed."
The next case was also referred to us by our sister TVPC organization. As reported on the 04-13-11 session, lots of students, including one Xander Harris, were charged with using the library's faculty bathroom, which is off limits to students. The new librarian, Mr. Rupert Giles was was called before the TVPC to verify the student's claims that he allowed them to use the bathroom. While waiting to be called, Mr. Giles conversed with Xander and several other students, including Buffy and Dawn Summers, Willow Rosenberg, and Cordelia Chase, a group mockingly referred to as "The Scooby Gang" by others at our school. All of them had been charged with using the librarian's bathroom, but were found not guilty by our sister TVPC. The "Scooby Gang" looked extremely agitated and kept whispering loudly about the "Feast Day of St. Vegeius" "Hell-mouth Opening," and "Undead Rising," which I took to be either a rock-and-roll/death metal band or one of those online role-playing games. I couldn't understand why Mr. Giles was always hanging around this particular group of teenagers, but I hoped the proper British gentleman would be a good influence on them.
"Giles, we don't have time for this," Buffy whispered as I called Mr. Giles and Xander to the stand. "Ead-unday ising-Ray!"
"Mrs. Summers, I assure you that you won't miss your Undead Rising concert or game or whatever it may be!" I said. Buffy looked somewhat confused; I went on. "Mr. Giles, all I need to know is; did Xander have your permission to use your private bathroom?"
"Yes," Mr. Giles replied. "Xander, Buffy, and the others are my...assistants. They help me with..."
"....books and stuff! We're bonkers for books!" Xander finished.
"Yes, what he said," Mr. Giles sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Why should my assistants have to leave the library to relieve themselves if I have a bathroom they can use in the library?"
"Very well," I said. "Xander, I find you Not Guilty. Dismissed."
Before I finished speaking, Xander, Giles, and the entire "Scooby Gang" raced from the room. I do hope they had fun at the Undead Rising concert.
Our next case came about after last night's performance of Romeo and Juliet by our school's drama club. In a rare turn of events, the two persons involved, Manuela "Manny" Santos and Emma Nelson, actually filled out Confession Reports on themselves and turned them in to the TVPC..A Confession Report is similar to a Violation Report, except that it is filled out and filed by a student who has had a toilet violation. Emma, a svelte blonde, confessed to vomitting while on stage, and Manny, a voluptuous brunette, confessed to soiling her panties and wetting herself. The two girls, both seniors, approached the bench with looks of utter humiliation etched on their lovely young faces. "Manny, Emma, would you care to relate the happenings of last evening for the benefit of those who weren't in attendence?" I said.
"Well, sir," Emma began, "you should know that there is a flu bug going around, and both Manny and I caught it. We're both still sick right now."
"We didn't want to miss out on the play, no matter how sick we were," Manny continued. "The show must go on, right?"
The girls were able to conceal their illness until the infamous balcony scene. Sav Bhandari, a sophomore who was playing Romeo, stood underneath the balcony on which Emma, who was playing Juliet, stood. When he got to the famous speech--
But, soft!
What light through yon window breaks?
'tis the east, and Juliet is the sun.
--Emma began to feel a bit queasy.
"I started sweating like crazy," Emma said "and my stomach started doing flip flops. I managed to carry on, but when I got to the 'Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou Romeo?' bit, I totally lost it!"
Emma leaned over the balcony and vomitted a milky white fluid directly onto Sav! The poor boy was completely soaked! The curtains were dropped at once and the play took an emergency intermission. Emma was taken home, and her understudy, Manny, stepped into the role of Juliet. The play resumed after thirty minutes, picking up right where it left off.
"I was sick as hell--HECK!--but I was able to carry on," Manny sighed. I could see that she was a bit wobbly and sweating profusely, so I told her and Emma to sit down while giving the remainder of their testimony. The play had gone without a hitch, up until the very last few moments of the performance. When the play reached the scene where Romeo discovered Juliet's supposedly dead body(she was actually faking her death with a potion), it all went horribly wrong. "My stomach was in full revolt," Manny said. "There I was, lying on my back and pretending to be dead, with Sav giving the performance of a lifetime, and my bladder just--gave out! I urinated all over myself; it was so much that it ran onto the floor! At the same time, I lost control of my bowels and defecated in my panties. I mean, I REALLY took a massive crap! The back of those things were fully loaded with butt mud!"
"PLEASE use proper terms, Ms. Santos!" I admonished her over the laughter of the onlookers.
"SORRY!" Manny softly chuckled. "Poor Sav had to do his entire suicide scene with me smelling like an overflowed sewer! And then I had to get up...a lot of my --excrement? Can I call it excrement?" I nodded and she went on. "A lot of my excrement escaped from my underwear and fell onto the stage. I knew everyone could see it and knew what I had done, but I went on with the play; I was determined to finish it! Unfortunately, right in the middle of my death scene, I messed myself again--the back of my dress was completely ruined!"
I shook my head, utterly disappointed in both girls. "If you were sick, you should not have attempted to do the play!" I said. While I was conversing with my TVPC colleagues, Emma vomitted all over the table accused students sit behind or stand in front of, while waiting to be sentenced.
"Oh god, sir, I am SO sorry--I'm shitting myself again!" wailed as a foul odor wafted through the TVPC room.
"Will someone PLEASE take these young ladies home?" I barked. Emma's step-father, Archie "Snake" Simpson, who teaches our Media Immersion class, took both girls from the room and drove them home. The girls were sentenced in absentia; because they turned in Confession Reports and they were ill, my colleagues and I decided to be lenient on them. Both girls will only have to write 200 lines of "I will not perform in school plays while sick" and do one day of afterschool detention.
Our first order of business was a case referred to us by our sister TVPC organization. As recorded on the 03-23-2011 session, Zach Morris and AC Slater admitted to cellophaning several toilets in the main corridor Women's room, which caused several girls to wet themselves, including their friends Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa! Several girls who were victims of this stupid prank came forth, but few wanted to speak before either branch of the TVPC, fearful that they would be punished for using a technically non-functioning toilet like Jessie and Lisa were. Two girls did decide to speak at today's session, however: Twin readheads Jean Grey-Summers and Madelyne Summers. Both girls are full figured and ridiculously attractive.
"We both had to use it pretty badly after Chem lab," Jean began.
"So we went into the nearest bathroom to do our business,"Madelyne continued, pushing up the round glasses on her freckle dotted face. The girls were always finishing each other's sentences like that: it was UNCANNY, like something out of the X-MEN.
"So I went in a stall,"Jean said.
"...hiked up my skirt, yanked down my panties, and let go." Madelyne finished.
"I had only went for a few seconds before I realized I was messing myself." Jean sighed.
"Got poo all over my backside and urine in my panties," Madelyne angrily huffed as she stared icily at Zack and Slater.
No violation report was filed against the girls, so they didn't receive a toilet punishment. I ordered Zack and Slater to come to the podium. I'm sure they thought they would get a chance to plead their case, but they thought wrong. "Your admission of guilt is already on record," I said, "Anything else that you have to say is entirely superfluous to this case."
"Super-what now?" Zack asked.
"It means unnecessary or pointless--just like you, Preppy!" Slater replied.
"That's not what your Mom says!" Zack jeeringly replied.
"You take that back!" Slater growled, grabbing Zack by the collar.
"ORDER!" I shouted, banging my gavel. When order was restored I tried to go on, but Zack shouted over me.
"Mr. Jagganath," he said, "I think you should know that Jessie's a stripper!"
"ZACK!" The statuesque, curly haired girl shrieked. Jessie had come to watch the boys get their punishment, along with Kelly and Lisa.
"It's true!" Zack went on. "On the weekends, she flies out to Vegas and works as a SHOWGIRL!"
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, ZACK!" Jessie yelled. Kelly and Lisa held her back.
"Hey, if I'm goin' down, so are you!" Zack sneered.
"Mr. Morris," I said, "What Jessie does or doesn't do outside this school has no relevence to this case. As you both have already admitted your guilt, I will go straight to your sentencing: get used to the inside of the main corridor womens room. Both of you are going to be spending a lot of time in there over the coming month."
"W-what do you mean, sir?" Slater stammered.
"For one month, whenever you have to use the restroom, you will report to the main corridor womens room and "do your business" in there." I said.
"WHAT?" both boys exclaimed over the laughter of the girls in attendance.
"If either of you are caught using any of the school's mens rooms in that time, you will be suspended for a week and have another week added to your sentence in the womens room." I then went on to explain exactly how they were expected to relieve themselves in the womens room."You must use the facilities exactly as women do: regardless of whether you have to have a bowel movement or not, you will sit on the toilet. Just to make sure that you do so, the stalls you use must be left open."
"B-but the girls will see us!" Zack exclaimed mournfully.
"Indeed." I replied. "Just to be certain that you two don't get up to anything, I'm assigning a toilet monitor to follow you to and from the bathroom."
"Aw, this is BULLSHIT!" Slater swore angrily.
"MISTER Slater, we do not use gutter language in this room!" I replied. "I'll have 400 lines of "I will not swear in the TVPC chambers" by tomorrow, or it will be doubled." I then spelled out the remainder of the boys' punishment. "Futhermore, both of you will be staying afterschool and cleaning each and every girls room in this building, also for one month. If you pull any further stunts during this time, your punishments will be increased by one week, do you hear me?"
"Yes, sir!" the boys groaned in unison.
"You will also give written apologies to all the girls who suffered because of your juvenile prank. Dismissed."
The next case was also referred to us by our sister TVPC organization. As reported on the 04-13-11 session, lots of students, including one Xander Harris, were charged with using the library's faculty bathroom, which is off limits to students. The new librarian, Mr. Rupert Giles was was called before the TVPC to verify the student's claims that he allowed them to use the bathroom. While waiting to be called, Mr. Giles conversed with Xander and several other students, including Buffy and Dawn Summers, Willow Rosenberg, and Cordelia Chase, a group mockingly referred to as "The Scooby Gang" by others at our school. All of them had been charged with using the librarian's bathroom, but were found not guilty by our sister TVPC. The "Scooby Gang" looked extremely agitated and kept whispering loudly about the "Feast Day of St. Vegeius" "Hell-mouth Opening," and "Undead Rising," which I took to be either a rock-and-roll/death metal band or one of those online role-playing games. I couldn't understand why Mr. Giles was always hanging around this particular group of teenagers, but I hoped the proper British gentleman would be a good influence on them.
"Giles, we don't have time for this," Buffy whispered as I called Mr. Giles and Xander to the stand. "Ead-unday ising-Ray!"
"Mrs. Summers, I assure you that you won't miss your Undead Rising concert or game or whatever it may be!" I said. Buffy looked somewhat confused; I went on. "Mr. Giles, all I need to know is; did Xander have your permission to use your private bathroom?"
"Yes," Mr. Giles replied. "Xander, Buffy, and the others are my...assistants. They help me with..."
"....books and stuff! We're bonkers for books!" Xander finished.
"Yes, what he said," Mr. Giles sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Why should my assistants have to leave the library to relieve themselves if I have a bathroom they can use in the library?"
"Very well," I said. "Xander, I find you Not Guilty. Dismissed."
Before I finished speaking, Xander, Giles, and the entire "Scooby Gang" raced from the room. I do hope they had fun at the Undead Rising concert.
Our next case came about after last night's performance of Romeo and Juliet by our school's drama club. In a rare turn of events, the two persons involved, Manuela "Manny" Santos and Emma Nelson, actually filled out Confession Reports on themselves and turned them in to the TVPC..A Confession Report is similar to a Violation Report, except that it is filled out and filed by a student who has had a toilet violation. Emma, a svelte blonde, confessed to vomitting while on stage, and Manny, a voluptuous brunette, confessed to soiling her panties and wetting herself. The two girls, both seniors, approached the bench with looks of utter humiliation etched on their lovely young faces. "Manny, Emma, would you care to relate the happenings of last evening for the benefit of those who weren't in attendence?" I said.
"Well, sir," Emma began, "you should know that there is a flu bug going around, and both Manny and I caught it. We're both still sick right now."
"We didn't want to miss out on the play, no matter how sick we were," Manny continued. "The show must go on, right?"
The girls were able to conceal their illness until the infamous balcony scene. Sav Bhandari, a sophomore who was playing Romeo, stood underneath the balcony on which Emma, who was playing Juliet, stood. When he got to the famous speech--
But, soft!
What light through yon window breaks?
'tis the east, and Juliet is the sun.
--Emma began to feel a bit queasy.
"I started sweating like crazy," Emma said "and my stomach started doing flip flops. I managed to carry on, but when I got to the 'Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou Romeo?' bit, I totally lost it!"
Emma leaned over the balcony and vomitted a milky white fluid directly onto Sav! The poor boy was completely soaked! The curtains were dropped at once and the play took an emergency intermission. Emma was taken home, and her understudy, Manny, stepped into the role of Juliet. The play resumed after thirty minutes, picking up right where it left off.
"I was sick as hell--HECK!--but I was able to carry on," Manny sighed. I could see that she was a bit wobbly and sweating profusely, so I told her and Emma to sit down while giving the remainder of their testimony. The play had gone without a hitch, up until the very last few moments of the performance. When the play reached the scene where Romeo discovered Juliet's supposedly dead body(she was actually faking her death with a potion), it all went horribly wrong. "My stomach was in full revolt," Manny said. "There I was, lying on my back and pretending to be dead, with Sav giving the performance of a lifetime, and my bladder just--gave out! I urinated all over myself; it was so much that it ran onto the floor! At the same time, I lost control of my bowels and defecated in my panties. I mean, I REALLY took a massive crap! The back of those things were fully loaded with butt mud!"
"PLEASE use proper terms, Ms. Santos!" I admonished her over the laughter of the onlookers.
"SORRY!" Manny softly chuckled. "Poor Sav had to do his entire suicide scene with me smelling like an overflowed sewer! And then I had to get up...a lot of my --excrement? Can I call it excrement?" I nodded and she went on. "A lot of my excrement escaped from my underwear and fell onto the stage. I knew everyone could see it and knew what I had done, but I went on with the play; I was determined to finish it! Unfortunately, right in the middle of my death scene, I messed myself again--the back of my dress was completely ruined!"
I shook my head, utterly disappointed in both girls. "If you were sick, you should not have attempted to do the play!" I said. While I was conversing with my TVPC colleagues, Emma vomitted all over the table accused students sit behind or stand in front of, while waiting to be sentenced.
"Oh god, sir, I am SO sorry--I'm shitting myself again!" wailed as a foul odor wafted through the TVPC room.
"Will someone PLEASE take these young ladies home?" I barked. Emma's step-father, Archie "Snake" Simpson, who teaches our Media Immersion class, took both girls from the room and drove them home. The girls were sentenced in absentia; because they turned in Confession Reports and they were ill, my colleagues and I decided to be lenient on them. Both girls will only have to write 200 lines of "I will not perform in school plays while sick" and do one day of afterschool detention.
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