Be careful what you wish for

[LinkFixer]

Last night my girlfriend and I were out with a friend to celebrate her 30th birthday. We had about a bottle of wine each.

It wasn't an unusual night. We were drunk, but not stupid drunk.

For some reason she peed the bed. She's 31. It was only the second time it had happened to her as an adult and she was devastated.

She doesn't know about my kink because I have always felt it was not something I should burden others with. There are videos I can get off too. I don't need to share this.

Yes, it turned me on that she peed the bed. I literally almost came on the spot and it was very difficult hiding how turned on I was.

I took care of business about 6 times in four hours. I can't help myself. I am turned on in incredible ways by a girl accidentally peeing themselves and, God help me, I'm turned on by the embarrassment they feel.

Here's the thing though: I hate myself right now. She was devestated.i kept telling her I don't care, but she didn't want to hear it. The shame she felt was far more than I imagined. When I've imagined what it would be like to see a real accident I never imagined the pain. I always assumed the girl would laugh it off.

I am stuck with this kink. I know that. But, I just want to encourage all of you turned on by accidents to remember to be compassionate. We can't help what turns us on, but we can control how we deal with it.

It really sucks to know that someone you love feels shame for an accident. It especially sucks when that's combined with guilty arousal.

If you're turned on by accidents you need to come to grips with the fact humiliation gets you off. You need to do that so you treat people right.

This kink sucks sometimes.

As an aside, even though I am not turned on by peeling myself, I have decided that exactly a month from now I will pee the bed so that she understand that shit happens...

Sorry to be a downer. I could have made up a story about a 18-year-old schoolgirl that soaked her plaid skirt but I'm shaken by the messy reality of real life.

I wish I could quit this. Really.

[pinkeye31]

I think she just needs to get over it. Its really not that big of a deal.

[Vic]

As long as you treat her with kindness, there is NO reason for you to be upset with yourself for your arousal.
As I've posted here a few times before, my Dear Wife had a big accident (while fully awake, out for a walk with me when we were newlyweds long ago). I sat down, pulled her onto my lap, hugged her, whispered- "It's OK- we'll face it together". She let loose (had no choice). We walked back to the car in our mutually soaked pants (past some giggling, whispering strangers), drove home, and ROCKED the bedroom for a few hours!
Love your woman, respect her, share with her, and you should be OK.
I'm not 100% certain that your planned accident a month from now is the way to proceed, but your intent is in the right place.
Good luck, keep us posted!- Vic

[Lloyd_R1]

It has always bemused me how people are absolutely mortified by accidentally peeing their pants. It's all social conditioning, and it's actually so out of place. Depending on where you come from, this is actually part of the young culture now for some, and it's just wrong that people should feel so completely awful about it.

I guess the issue is how accidental it was. If a girl sort of accidentally pees her bikini on a beach, surreptitiously so that no one knows, it's not all that big a deal. Some, possibly most, actually do it deliberately. What really astounds me is the number of women who will not pee through a swimsuit, even when wet, other than by pure accident. This I cannot understand at all, and again, I have to think it comes down to conditioning.

Her upbringing has made peeing her pants possibly the worst thing that she could ever do in her life. You need to get her to understand that it isn't, that it's actually something that she shouldn't feel bad about at all. I don't think it would be possible to get her to the point of actually enjoying it, but I certainly think it's wrong for her to feel so bad about wetting her pants or bed accidentally.

Treat her kindly, explain to her that it's not a big deal and that you don't mind, that she should absolutely NOT feel bad about it. Explain to her that this is just her upbringing coming through, and that in a different culture, she would not have been brought up to feel so bad about it at all. If she can at least get to the point of accepting that it's not that big a deal she will be fine.

[vincp40]

I have decided that exactly a month from now I will pee the bed so that she understand that shit happens...

Aren't you afraid that one way or another somehow it will turn out that you did this on purpose?

[dirk1961]

Hello Linkfixer,

may be I can feel with you. Long time I held my fetish inside my heart. I am 52 y.o. now :-)

My wife sometimes has accidents to. I know that she does not like it. But I am turned on as you wrote above.

Once I told her what I feel. I said that I can understand her feelings of disapointment and pain. And I said I wish to have her in a "staged" accident only for sex. Or better to do it with her own controlled force, knowing "that is what he want", a bit like a role play. First came a strict "No". But some days later, a normal evening, it suddenly happend to me. It was nice, very nice, sexy, cool and very wet ... thats it.

After all I was asked "How was it ?" I was not able to say anything. I only felt that big luck.

May be you can try this way too.

D.

[PP1]

Dirk's suggestion seems excellent. Maybe once your gf realizes how much you get turned on by wettiings, she'll not only overcome her shame, but also indulge you from time to time. Don't push her, just talk about how if arouses you and be sure to show her the best times of her life if it happens.

[AccidentalTourist]

Hi linkfixer, I'm not going to say anything initially about your girlfriend's feelings but just about yours. None of us can control what turns us on sexually, but we can forgive ourselves, or even celebrate ourselves, for who we are. As long as you are kind to her, reassuring her that what happened to her doesn't change how you feel about her, you are doing absolutely nothing that you need to be ashamed of. And in time that loving regard will make her realize that she too has nothing to be ashamed of, and that she can rely on you for love and support.

Best wishes and best of luck.

-- AT

[jackgriffin]

I think you just need to be patient and continue to be support, while reiterating that it's no big deal and you're not concerned about it. Everyone is different, some girls and soak themselves and laugh it off whereas other personalities will take it very very personal.

I do NOT recommend you pee the bed yourself. Your girlfriend isn't a fool, she will know that it wasn't a real accident and in her current mental sensitivity she will absolutely take it the wrong way (even though your heart is in the right place).

As I said, just keep telling her you don't care, that people have accidents all the time, that you still love her and this hasn't changed anything, etc. Eventually the words will penetrate her embarrassment and she'll begin to feel better.