Help with Girlfriend

[benjiman04]

Hi all, hoping you can help as I am getting married this year and need to clear this up with my fiance before strolling down that isle.

When we first met, i was pretty quick to tell her about my pee fetish. When I did, it didn't phase her a bit and she quickly started exploring it. She started the same way most new comers do, in the shower with just her underwear on and then the toilet, but then became pretty comfortable with it, and would surprise me in bed every now and then by peeing herself and even wetting while I wasn't even home, just so she could say that she did.

After about 2 years, we had a break, I moved overseas but neither of us saw other people and we emailed everyday. I guess we were kind of still together. And we came up with the idea to give each other "Missions". Where everyday we would give each other a mission for the day. For example, I gave her a mission where for 24 hours she could not use a bathroom to pee and had to pee in her panties every single time. All missions had to be backed up with photographic evidence.

It was amazing, she completed every mission I gave her, at work, at home, in her bed, in her car. I decided then she was the one I had to marry.

It's been 2 years since I then and returned to Australia from overseas to be with her again and we are now engaged.

Slowly but surely though, the peeing has stopped. At first she was still peeing for me but not in the same fashion as while I was away. It wasn't as 'naughty' I guess. Then it slowed down quite a bit. Over the last six months, she has wet herself once, and that was after a party and she was drunk and couldn't really hold it.

I also travel a lot for work now, and figured it would be cool when i'm away to try to get 'missions' back up and running again but she said she isn't really interested in doing that. I try to get her to send me photos of herself wetting but I never get them.

I have brought it up with her several times and she doesn't really have an answer why she doesn't do it anymore. We will drink beer or wine on the weekends and I get excited knowing she will need to pee and then she will just get up and go to the bathroom.

I guess I feel a little insulted by that. It would be different if she had not liked it right from the start but it was something we enjoyed together, a fetish of mine that she accepted and participated in and now just wont. We have sex still but I don't feel like it's fair on me that my needs aren't being satisfied and now we're getting close to our wedding i'm really starting to worry. I didn't choose to like what I like but I just do and the thought of spending the rest of my days with her not making that effort is worrying me.

We have been together for 5 years now. Is it a case of the honeymoon period being over or worse? Am i being unreasonable or paranoid? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I need your thoughts because lately I have been second guessing myself and even thinking my even having this type of fetish is unreasonable. It's not like I can leave her and go and find someone who is. I have never met another person who is into pee just people who will oblige it and that is very rare.

[lhansen]

Honey Moon is Over

Yea, I'm afraid so. Happened to me to, only after eight years. I don't know what ended it, but end it did. I'd talk about it and she would just change the subject or say no.

For some reason I think she took up the subject with the wrong girlfriend who probably told her she was crazy to wet her pants and that I was just sick. Plenty of women think it really is sick. Just be sure you don't confide in them about it. There are plenty that are fine with wetting themselves particularly when they find out how turned on you get.

Looking back, I probably should have gone else ware.

[benjiman04]

Are you still there? If so does she ever wet at all?

I don't want to have my only wet fun via the internet... Why does she not want to keep her man sexually satisfied? I know with guys, we want to make sure our girls our well-and-truly satisfied in hope that some other dude won't be able to swan in and steal them.

[paco]

You don't mention if she has any kinks or particular desires -- do you fulfill them? If so, that's a good argument for returning the favor...not making her feel guilty, of course, but maybe verbalizing how much you love doing X for her...for its own sake, not necessarily expecting anything in return, but...

The wonderful sex-advice columnist Dan Savage calls it "GGG" -- good, giving, and game -- the idea being that even if you're not particularly into something your partner likes, as long as it's not beyond the pale (like animals or children or cannibalism), you do it so your partner will be happy. If you're GGG for her, then there must be a nice way to remind her to be GGG for you.

[MasterP]

Wow man that really sux. I had a gf that did it for a bunch of times in one month then just quit and would never do it again. It seemed like she really liked it and then didn't want to do it anymore. It was like she was exploring different sides of her sexuality and then realized she didn't like it I guess. I should be happy that she even experimented with it, but still it sucked she quit

[AramFingal]

you seem to indicate that you're marrying this girl because she fulfills your fetish - you might've been trying to be humorous by saying that, but that's the way it comes off regardless. it's possible that fulfilling that fetish makes her feel like an object, especially if she isn't totally fulfilled.

[benjiman04]

Of course i'm not marrying her because of the fetish but it would be ignorant of anyone to say that they could put aside their sexual desires just because everything else was good. And it is. Everything else is great but it's still a big deal for me if I cant share this with her.

As far as her kinks etc. i should have mentioned. On numerous occasions I have probed her for any little thing that might do it for her that I can do. I would rather if she did because I would actually get off on doing something that would drive her mad, but she is pretty stock standard along those lines.

It's almost like she has forgotten the days where she enjoyed it and actually like to do it.

[Supermaxx]

For some reason I think she took up the subject with the wrong girlfriend who probably told her she was crazy to wet her pants and that I was just sick.

Ugh I really hope it wasn't something like that. What a useless high school way of thinking: Someone else told me something was gross so I'm gonna go with that because most other people think that way.

Fuck that. Immature people like that make me crazy.

[benjiman04]

Ugh I really hope it wasn't something like that. What a useless high school way of thinking: Someone else told me something was gross so I'm gonna go with that because most other people think that way.

Fuck that. Immature people like that make me crazy.

I'm sure the same people enjoy a get 'get nude' missionary romp in the dark once a week.

[AccidentalTourist]

Ask her again

I think you should try asking her again, in a manner that reassures her that whatever answer she gives will be acceptable to you. You may be (unconsciously) asking her why she doesn't wet in such a way that she doesn't feel comfortable answering. Tell her that her being happy with you is the most important thing in the world, and that if there is something that has made her uncomfortable or unhappy (e.g. being embarrassed at her real accident in the pub), you hope she trusts you enough to tell you.

If she's willing to tell you what it is, and she's still not willing to wet, and you decide that having a significant other/spouse who wets for you is more important than staying with her, then you can make that decision. But right now it sounds to me like your frustration might be putting a lot of pressure on her.

If you've already tried this then sorry for my misunderstanding the situation.

Best of luck!

-- AT

[PP1]

I agree with AT that perhaps you're putting too much pressure on her. Your comments seem especially one-sided. I'm assuming you're in your twenties, and your strong sexual appetite is high on your list of priorities right now.

As an old-timer, all I can say is that I've been there and done that as it were. After nearly fifty years of being involved with women, I still get immensly excited by wetting, in real life and in the fantasy world of the internet.

From time to time, it became necessary to move from one relationship to another; and, when the first relationship collapsed, I initially felt that I would never find another woman who would be willing to gratify my fantasies. That's far from the case, and I found others who either liked to wet their pants or did it for me. This always led to new levels of enjoyment based on maturity and mutual respect for the partners' feelings.

Taking a look at the specifics, the "missions" you mentioned all involved her wetting her pants in various situations. Were there any other scenarios, i.e. ones that didn't involve wetting? What were her missions for you? Also, are you sure that she liked wetting her pants instead of liking to see you so excited?

It's possible that your insistence has alarmed her. If you've come across to her as fixated on her wetting, then maybe she's beginning to think that it's the only way you get turned on and that's turning her off.

Let's face it, this kink isn't for everyone, and even those women who like it might not like a daily dose. Finally, only you can decide how much value to give wetting in your ongoing relationships. If you decide to get out of this relationship because your fiancée has stopped gratifying your lust, I'm sure you will find other women who are willing.

[Supermaxx]

Yeah, along the same lines as the other suggestions in this thread I would suggest sitting down and talking to her about it. Do your best to remain neutral and accepting of her answer, but be clear that this is something that means a lot to you and that you just want to figure out why it seems to be something the two of you don't share anymore. It certainly helps if you phrase it so it sounds like "something we do" versus "something you do to please me". Let her know that you think it's something that helps bring you two closer together.

[lhansen]

We Can Only Hope

Once the wetting thing ends I don't know how to get it back. There are a million things you can try, but I'm just not sure. If you are twenty something and you have a real thing for ladies who wet their pants and the girl you want to marry has quit doing it, well I'd think long and hard on that one. Twenty is to young to get married anyway.

PP1 is right. There are many women who will wet their panties for the right relationship.

One thing that helped me was always TRYING to be on my best behavior with a new girlfriend. At some point while out on the town and after a few drinks she would usually initiate the subject. "If I don't go now, I'm going to wet my pants". I'd ask casually, "Why, do you wet your panties very often?" Now here is the key, if she is offended, you are on thin earth and better be careful. However, if she comes back receptively, you very casually say, "Well I'm sure you know, girls who wet their pants get licked way more often than girls who don't". Then move on to another subject and revisit this one a little later. The seed is planted and now may or may not grow.

You find wetters in the oddest places and from any lifestyle. For sure they are out there.

[Aloo]

as long as it's not beyond the pale (like animals or children or cannibalism)

What's wrong with cannibalism?

[paco]

What's wrong with cannibalism?

Good point. We gotta get our protein somehow.