Tweet
A few days ago I got into an unusual situation for me. For an entire day I just didn't have time to poop. By evening I felt quite full and heavy in in my belly, but my body had decided it would wait until morning.
The next day I awoke feeling like there was a massive movement ready to come out of me, but sitting on the toilet produced nothing. I had breakfast and coffee, hoping that would help, but back on the toilet I pushed and could feel the giant log pushing up against my hole but it just didn't want to come. I had this odd feeling though, that something about squatting down on the toilet was part of the problem, as if it would slide right out if I could do it with my legs less bent (how do we know these sorts of things about the internal processes of our bodies?). I lifted up off the toilet, but then grew nervous that I would miss. I also had the problem that we had to remove the curtains from our bathroom windows recently, so standing above the toilet I felt exposed.
So I did what any reasonable person would do. I pulled my pants back up, went into the bedroom where I had more privacy, and let loose. It flowed out without much difficulty. It was quite wide for me, and the consistency was hard enough that when I relaxed and stopped pushing, it held my asshole open instead of pinching off. I pushed some more and the whole thing came out, filling my pants. I pushed again and out came another round, softer than before, that filled up around the edges and started to push out of the leg holes of my briefs.
I took off my pants and left my underwear on so I could see the size of it, and was quite impressed. Two days worth of poop makes for an impressive bulge.
Anyway, next time you're a little constipated, give your pants a try and see if things move a little more easily.
The next day I awoke feeling like there was a massive movement ready to come out of me, but sitting on the toilet produced nothing. I had breakfast and coffee, hoping that would help, but back on the toilet I pushed and could feel the giant log pushing up against my hole but it just didn't want to come. I had this odd feeling though, that something about squatting down on the toilet was part of the problem, as if it would slide right out if I could do it with my legs less bent (how do we know these sorts of things about the internal processes of our bodies?). I lifted up off the toilet, but then grew nervous that I would miss. I also had the problem that we had to remove the curtains from our bathroom windows recently, so standing above the toilet I felt exposed.
So I did what any reasonable person would do. I pulled my pants back up, went into the bedroom where I had more privacy, and let loose. It flowed out without much difficulty. It was quite wide for me, and the consistency was hard enough that when I relaxed and stopped pushing, it held my asshole open instead of pinching off. I pushed some more and the whole thing came out, filling my pants. I pushed again and out came another round, softer than before, that filled up around the edges and started to push out of the leg holes of my briefs.
I took off my pants and left my underwear on so I could see the size of it, and was quite impressed. Two days worth of poop makes for an impressive bulge.
Anyway, next time you're a little constipated, give your pants a try and see if things move a little more easily.