Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

[Arnold Ziffel]

Welcome to a session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee (TVPC) – this writer’s favorite fantasy. The story takes place in a high school not unlike other high schools. In this high school, however, there are strict rules regarding the toileting behavior of the school’s female students. Those who break the school toilet rules (including the rules against going to the bathroom in your pants) are brought before the TVPC to have their cases heard and their punishment given out if they are guilty. Meetings of the TVPC are called to order at 3:10 PM each school day in the TVPC meeting room – Room 222 of the high school. It should be noted that where this story takes place you need to be 18 in order to enter high school so all persons depicted, even though entirely fictional, are at least 18 years of age.

My name is Arnold Ziffel and I’m chairman of the TVPC. What follows are the summary minutes of the TVPC meeting of Wednesday, February 12, 2020.

Just as I’m about to call the first case, I get a signal from the TVPC clerk. He first reports that all of the girls accused of toilet violations today have indeed reported as required. But he also reports that 2 girls scheduled for detention for previous toilet violations have failed to report here for that detention. Specifically, they are Brianna, a feisty senior redhead, who has 3 days remaining to be served on a week long sentence for smoking in the girls’ room and Amy, a braces-clad freshman, who has 2 days left to serve on a cumulative 4 week detention sentence. Amy first got a week of detention for messing in her panties, and then before that was finished, she got another week added on for using a teachers’ bathroom. Then just 2 days after that, she messed in her panties yet again – this time a “doubleheader” (she did both a wetting and a messing in her panties) – for which she got 2 more weeks of detention added on. It’s especially a shame for her that with her detention time now down to 2 days, she would skip detention today. Obviously, that will only make the situation worse for her. At minimum, they’ll each get 2 additional days in detention, but depending upon the circumstances I could give them worse. I’m particularly fond of assigning long essays in which the offending girls have to explain the reason for cutting detention.

But just as I direct that they both be charged with “Cutting Detention” and that they be schedule for tomorrow’s TVPC session, Amy enters the room. I, of course, immediately call her up to the podium.

“I don’t think I need to tell you that you are seriously late for detention,” I tell her, “I would think that with all the time you’ve spent here the past 4 weeks, you’d know when detention starts.” “Yes, sir – I’m sorry about that, sir,” she tells me contritely, “I’m really sorry about that.” Upon questioning from me, she admits that she was late because she was in the girls’ room. “I really had to go and I knew that I couldn’t hold it in until detention was over,” she tells us, “I hate it so much when I have to do my BMs at school, but I knew I was going to have another mess in my panties if I didn’t.” “I’m tired of coming here to detention all the time because of my accidents and stuff and I’m tired of writing all those lines all the time,” she continues, “And I’m tired of getting yelled at by mom because of it and I’m tired of always having to wash out messy panties.” “I’m trying really hard to do better and use the girls’ room when I really need to,” Amy adds, “I’m sorry I’m late for detention but I thought it was more important to take the time to go in the toilet than get here on time and then end up going BM in my panties again.”

Certainly, that much is true (especially for someone with the long history of messing accidents that Amy has), but it still doesn’t quite explain everything. There are 10 minutes between when school lets out and when detention begins and she is 10 minutes late for detention on top of that. “It took you 20 minutes to go to the bathroom?” I question her, “It seems to me that the 10 minutes we allot you would be more than enough time, even when it comes to having a bowel movement.” The poor girl offers no real explanation of why it took so long, only insisting that it did. Could it be that you snuck off school grounds to use the bathroom somewhere else before coming here?” I ask her. “No,” she insists, “I used the girls’ room just down the hall.” “Could it be that you had another accident and you were in the girls’ room so long because you were trying to clean it up some before coming here?” I ask her. “No! – I don’t go in my pants, anymore,” she insists, a tinge of anger in her voice, “I did my BM in the toilet in the girls’ room like I’m supposed to.” As I think more about, it suddenly dawns on me what happened. “You wanted to go in the toilet but you didn’t want to do it with the girls’ room so crowded right after school,” I suggest, “You waited for the girls’ room to clear out before you could have your bowel movement in there – That’s what took you so long and that’s why you were so late for detention.” She is too embarrassed to answer, but the look on her face tells me it’s true. Actually, I don’t know why she was too embarrassed to tell me that – it’s certainly a lot less embarrassing than just doing it in her panties like she has frequently done.

“I’m certainly glad to hear that you went in the toilet, Amy,” I tell her, “And I certainly hope that this will be a regular thing now with you now.” “But you have to get to detention on time,” I explain to her, “And if that means doing what you have to do in the 10 minutes after school before detention, then that’s what you’re going to have to do.” I direct that her violation be changed to “Late For Detention” instead of “Cutting Detention” and, of course, her TVPC appearance scheduled for tomorrow is cancelled. However, I do add one additional day of detention for her lateness. She gives me a look of disappointment at yet another day in detention after the long stretch that she’s already served, but it would have been far worse had she instead had another accident. Besides, with the improvement in her toilet habits, perhaps it will be her last such long stretch in detention

Brianna, of course, is still scheduled for tomorrow and will be charged with “Cutting Detention.”

Moving on to cases from today, I call the name of an easy-going freshman cutie named Erin. Faithful readers of the TVPC should have no trouble recognizing her from our January 20th TVPC session where she handed in two hefty writing assignments -- a 1,000 times repetitive writing and a 2,000 word punishment essay for soiling her panties. The panty-soiling itself -- her 5th of the school year -- having happened one week prior to that meeting. As I call Erin to the podium today, I’m pleased to note that it doesn’t look like she’s soiled her panties. But as I look over the Violation Report in this case, I’m not happy as to the reason why.

“Using a faculty bathroom?” I ask her, reading from the Violation Report, “You used the bathroom in the librarian’s office?” “Yes, sir,” she tells me contritely, entering a “Guilty” plea to the charge. “And you do know that bathroom is for faculty and staff only?” I ask her, “You do know that that bathroom is completely off-limits to students?” “Yes, sir,” she answers, looking away and then staring down at the floor, “I know.” Erin has certainly had her toilet issues this year but I must say she’s always been honest with us.” “And am I to assume that you used that bathroom to have a bowel movement?” I next ask her. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, having a bowel movement in a faculty bathroom or other inappropriate place is a more serious violation than merely urinating there.

“Yes, sir,” Erin tells me again. But then she suddenly pauses a second and corrects herself. “Well, actually sir, I went both ways,” she then clarifies, “I mean, I did go #2 but then I also went #1 a little bit while doing that.” “I mean, I went in there because I had to do #2, but I’m just saying I also went #1 in addition to that,” she continues, “But it’s not like I went in there just because I had to go to the bathroom -- I went in there because I had to go #2.” “Well, I know that going #1 is still going to the bathroom but it’s just that I wouldn’t be going in there for that,” she rambles on, “I mean, if it was just #1, I would have done it in the regular girls’ room.” “I’m just saying that it was because I had to go #2 that I went in there -- you know, to the teachers’ bathroom,” she rambles on further, “But it wasn’t like I only did #2 when I was in there -- I mean, I did pee a little, too.”

Quickly, I put up my hand to stop it. “I get it, Erin -- I understand,” I tell her, “I think we all understand what happened.” The other four members of the TVPC nod their heads in agreement with me. Pausing for a moment to give Erin a chance to catch her breath, I assure her that going both ways in the toilet as she did constitutes only a single toilet violation. “It is a violation for the more serious of the two -- that is, having a bowel movement,” I explain to the freshman cutie, “But since you did do that, we don’t tack on another violation for also urinating in the toilet.” “We’re strict but that would be a little much,” I tell her, “We figure that once you do a bowel movement in there, it doesn’t really matter if you urinate in there as well.” Erin seems to breathe a sigh of relief at hearing that. She no doubt understands that the punishment for one violation will be severe enough -- especially with her lengthy record of panty-soiling violations -- without being punished for a second one as well. “Thank you, sir,” she tells me.

But all that being said, there is still the matter of her having done the bowel movement in the Librarian’s office bathroom where she knew she was not allowed. Miss Spellman, a pretty, blonde-haired Math Teacher, reports that she went up there 6th period to use that bathroom herself. “I had to go -- you know, both ways -- and I had to go kind of bad,” she explains, “I had been holding it in since the middle of 4th period.” “But then when I did get up to the library, the bathroom door was locked,” she tells us, “And I could definitely hear that someone else was in there.” “Naturally, I just assumed that another teacher was in there,” Miss Spellman continues, “I was quite surprised when Erin came out of there instead.” “At least she was honest about it,” the always sympathetic Math Teacher then notes, “She just immediately admitted what she’d done and didn’t try to lie about it or anything like that.”

“Well, she was pretty much caught red-handed, don’t you think?” Mrs. Adler -- apparently not overtly impressed with Erin’s honesty -- asks the pretty Math Teacher, “I mean, how could she even begin to deny it when she was caught right in the act like she was?” She then just shrugs her shoulders acknowledging Mrs. Adler’s point. The point is indeed well-taken, but perhaps a bit harsh. It’s still worth noting that Erin didn’t try to lie. More importantly, though, I check with Miss Spellman to confirm that Erin’s purpose was simply to use the toilet. “She didn’t commit any vandalism or misuse the bathroom in any way?” I ask Miss Spellman, “Her only violation was using a bathroom that she shouldn’t have been using?” The pretty Math Teacher confirms that. “Everything seemed to have been in order, Mr. Chairman,” she tells me, “Except for some serious skidmarks in the toilet bowl, everything was fine.”

The last comment draws everyone’s attention back to Erin. “It was a lot, sir -- I really had to go a lot,” Erin then abruptly tells me. “I couldn’t really help it, sir,” she explains, “It just made those marks in the bowl when I flushed it.” “It all went down without any problems,” she explains further, “But I guess it did leave some skidmarks in the bowl.” But I and Miss Spellman each put up a hand to stop her. “Relax, Erin,” I tell her, “It’s not really your fault -- skidmarks in the toilet bowl happen sometimes.” “But it is obviously your fault for using that particular bathroom in the first place,” I quickly clarify, “I don’t suppose you would have left those skidmarks in the bowl, if you hadn’t been using it in the first place.” Looking down at the floor, Erin quietly acknowledges that, and suddenly just bursts into tears.

“I’m sorry, sir -- I’m sorry, Ma’am,” Erin then says, addressing me and Miss Spellman, respectively, “I really didn’t mean any harm -- I just wanted to use the toilet.” “I needed to go, sir -- I needed to go bad,” she continues, addressing me, “If I hadn’t I really would have messed in my panties -- I really would have messed in them bad.” “I just didn’t want to mess in my panties again -- I really wanted to do it in the toilet like I was supposed to,” Erin, tearfully, pleads, “I just didn’t want to do it in my panties again.” “When it happened last time you warned me what would happen if I messed in my panties in school again,” Erin explains. “I was just desperate,” she says, “I didn’t even want to think about the punishment I was going to get if I soiled my panties again.” “I was just trying to use the toilet, sir -- I was just trying to avoid another mess in my panties,” Erin pleads some more. “Please, sir -- I was just desperate,” she reiterates, “It was all I could do to avoid another mess in my panties.”

“You could also have avoided a mess by going in the girls’ room,” chimes in Mrs. Adler, “The faculty bathroom wasn’t the only place you could gone to avoid having an accident, you know?” “Yes, Ma’am,” Erin answers what was obviously a rhetorical question. “In fact, our girls’ rooms all have plenty of toilets,” Mrs. Adler continues, “All of which were perfectly capable of handling your bowel movement today.” “There’s absolutely no reason you needed to be using a faculty bathroom to avoid messing your panties,” the committeewoman lectures Erin, “There’s no reason why Miss Spellman should have had to wait for the toilet nor had to deal with your skidmarks in the toilet bowl.”

Again, staring at the floor and crying, Erin mumbles something about the faculty bathroom being a lot nicer than the student ones. “That bathroom is just so nice, sir,” she tells me, now looking up from the floor, “It’s just so much nicer to do it in there than in the student ones.” “It’s just so nice and private,” she argues, “You just go in there and lock the door and you’re in there all by yourself just like a bathroom at home.” “It’s not like being in a bathroom with other girls and only being in a stall,” she argues further, “It’s just so nice to have more privacy.” “I mean, if it was only pee, I wouldn’t mind so much going in the girls’ room,” Erin goes on, “But that bathroom there in the library is just so much nicer when you gotta do what I had to do today.” “It’s just so nice,” she reiterates, “And I only did it because I didn’t want to go in my pants.” “I did my bowel movement in the toilet sir,” the toilet-troubled freshman cuties tells me, a sudden firmness in her voice, “I didn’t do it in my pants this time -- I did it in the toilet like I was supposed to.”

“What you’re supposed to do is do it in the girls’ room,” I then tell her sternly, “It’s all well and good that you did it in the toilet instead of your pants, but you’re obviously not supposed to do it in the faculty facilities.” “It’s obviously good that you avoided having an accident and messing in your panties yet again,” I lecture her, “But you know as well as I do that your bowel movements belong in the girls’ room toilets and not the faculty ones.”

Erin starts to plead with me some more. “I went in the toilet, sir -- I did it in the toilet instead of my pants,” she pleads. But I put up a hand to stop her. “I’m sorry, Erin, but other girls in this school manage to do their bowel movements in the girls’ room and you need to as well,” I lecture her further, “We obviously can’t allow you to use the faculty facilities any more than we can allow you to go in your panties.” “And I’m afraid that with your lengthy record of going in your panties, you’re not due any leniency here,” I then inform her and note for the record, “I’m afraid your lengthy record of prior violations will be well-reflected in your punishment here.”

Noting that, I then sentence the toilet-troubled freshman to having to write, “I will not use any faculty bathroom in school again” 1,000 times. I then further sentence her to 2 entire weeks of detention sitting on the toilet. “You’ll sit your detentions on a toilet in the 2nd Floor Girls’ Room across from the library,” I tell her and again note for the record, “Maybe next time you need to go in school, you’ll consider doing it there instead of the librarian’s office bathroom.” Hearing that -- stunned at the severity of her punishment -- Erin begins to plead with me for leniency. But I quickly put a stop to that. “I’m sorry, Erin,” I tell her sternly, “You know you’re not supposed to use the faculty bathrooms and you used one anyway.” “You’re lucky Miss Spellman didn’t have an accident waiting to use that bathroom and you’re lucky that that big load of yours didn’t clog the toilet,” I point out, “Or you’d be looking at a toilet suspension rather than just a writing assignment and toilet sitting detention.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Next up before the TVPC we have a pretty, blonde-haired senior named Stevie. Actually, her name is Stephanie but everyone calls her Stevie. She is also the Recording Secretary of our Student Council. The popular, well-spoken, senior beauty has generally maintained good toilet habits throughout her high school career, but as she appears before the TVPC this afternoon, her frustration with school toilet matters is quite evident. Faithful readers of the TVPC should have no trouble recognizing Stevie from our Nov. 12, 2019 TVPC session were she was punished for a panty-soiling violation -- A consequence of not having toilet paper to wipe herself after having had a bowel movement in the toilet and then badly staining her panties as a result. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know while wiping oneself is not mandatory, a failure to do so can result in a violation for “panty-soiling” if a girl’s panties become soiled badly enough because of it. Such was the case with Stevie last November and that very same thing happened to her again last week as well.

“How are you doing today, MADAME SECRETARY?” I ask her, referring, obviously to her position on the Student Council. Stevie just lets out an audible groan in frustration. I can’t say that I blame her as she certainly does appear to be awfully unlucky when it comes to finding toilet paper in our girls’ rooms. Today, though, it’s not “panty-soiling” that the smart and articulate senior blonde is charged with.

Turning now to Miss Norberry -- her Calculus Teacher -- she has charged Stevie with “Late To Class For Bathroom Purposes.” Specifically, she has charged the girl with being late to 7th period Calculus class after using the girls’ room -- presumably for a bowel movement -- between classes earlier this afternoon. “I’m sorry, Stevie,” she tells the girl sympathetically, “If you had only been a little late, I could have let it go, but being as late as you were, I really had no choice but to file a Violation Report on it.” “I really do sympathize with your situation, Stevie -- I really can’t say that I blame you,” Miss Norberry continues, “But rules are rules and I just can’t ignore you being as late for my class as you were today.” Stevie nods her head indicating that she understands. “It’s not your fault,” she tells her teacher. But as I said, the well-spoken senior beauty clearly looks quite frustrated.

Looking over at Stevie, I see her just standing there, shaking her head. But reading the Violation Report in this matter, it’s me whose left shaking my head again. It would seem that Stevie must certainly be the unluckiest girl in the whole school -- at least when it comes to toilet paper. It’s yet again that she was stuck on the toilet -- after having gone #2 -- with no toilet paper handy. But this time rather than simply pulling up her pants and going un-wiped to her next class, she decided to take the time to grab some paper towels from the sink and wipe herself with those. The result, of course -- having tried to take care of such business between classes -- was that she was quite late for her next class.

“This is ridiculous,” she tells us with a sudden tinge of anger in her voice. “There needs to be toilet paper in the toilets,” she argues vehemently, “Especially girls need toilet paper and it’s just ridiculous that it’s not there when we need it.” “Well, most girls seem to know enough to check for toilet paper before they sit down and use the toilet,” suddenly chimes in Mrs. Adler, “How can a girl your age not check before she sits down and goes.” “And it’s hardly the first time this has happened to you,” Mrs. Adler continues, “And it’s for a bowel movement, to boot.” “I mean, it’s one thing to get a little careless when a girl is just sitting down to pee -- a girl can kind of get by with no toilet paper then,” the committeewoman argues, “But when it comes to a bowel movement, a girl your age really should know that she absolutely does need toilet paper.”

“I know I need toilet paper, ma’am,” Stevie argues back, “And that goes for when I pee as well as when I go #2.” “I do use it for both things, you know,” she tells the committeewoman in a bit of a condescending tone, “I don’t just drip-dry when I pee -- that’s almost as gross as not wiping when I go the other way.” “Well, I certainly would encourage you to wipe both ways, Stevie,” Mrs. Crabtree, another committeewoman, tells her, “But I think we all can agree that wiping is a little more important after one function more so than the other.” “I mean, I don’t know of anyone getting a wet panties violation for not wiping herself after urinating,” Mrs. Crabtree continues, returning Stevie’s sarcasm, “But you are obviously quite familiar with soiling violations that occur because of not wiping after the other.” The comment, of course, is directed toward Stevie’s own violations and seems to put the girl in her place a bit. Wisely, Stevie does not respond.

“Well, this kind of thing does seem to happen to you more than most,” I tell Stevie, in a decidedly more sympathetic tone. “I mean, I’m not saying it’s a serious offense and you most certainly should be commended for taking care of your business in the toilet like you do,” I explain, “But I would think that a smart girl like you would check for toilet paper before you sit down to go.” “I mean, as I said, this does seem to happen to you a lot more than other girls,” I add.

But Stevie says it’s not quite like that. She says it’s more a matter of her frequently needing to use the girls’ room -- and needing it for that particular reason -- later in the day. “I don’t know but it just seems like I often have to go that way later in the day,” Stevie explains, “And with Student Council and other activities after school, it’s not like I can just hold it in and wait until I get home.” “You really need to put more toilet paper in the stalls later in the day,” Stevie argues, “I mean, I suppose I could be more careful in checking for toilet paper first but if you put more toilet paper in the stalls it wouldn’t be a problem.” But Mrs. Adler takes exception to that. “Or if you girls didn’t waste it, we wouldn’t have to be restocking it later in the day,” Mrs. Adler tells her. “You girls get plenty of toilet paper in the stalls everyday,” she argues to Stevie, “If you and your fellow students didn’t waste it, you’d have plenty to use later in the day or whenever it is that you need to go.” Stevie starts to respond to that but then stops herself. She’s a smart girl and I’m sure she knows there’s really no point in arguing further on that. I stop her and redirect her back to what she’s actually charged with -- that is, “Late To Class For Bathroom Reasons.”

“Look -- I’m sorry I was late for class,” Stevie tells us, a little frustrated, “But I really was caught between a rock and a hard place.” She tells us that she really had to go and she was trying to take care of it between classes like we encourage girls to do. “I was on the toilet just having had a bowel movement and quite a soft and messy one at that,” she explains, “And when I looked over to the toilet paper I suddenly realized that there was none left.” “I guess I should have looked before I sat down -- I guess it was my fault for not looking first,” Stevie continues, “But the fact was that I had just gone and I was stuck without anything to wipe myself with.” “I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t go without wiping myself again,” she tells us, shaking her head, “I already have 2 violations for panty-soilings from not being able to wipe myself and I wasn’t about to get another one.” “I’m sorry, but I just had to wipe myself,” she reiterates, “If I didn’t I would surely have soiled my panties enough to get another violation.”

Continuing, the articulate senior beauty tells us that she waddled, pants down, over to the sinks and got a bunch of paper towels to wipe with. “I wiped myself with those and it really wasn’t much different than just wiping with toilet paper,” she reports, “Everything was clean with my butt and panty-wise, but by the time I was done with all that, I was seriously late for my next class.” “It’s hard enough to take care of a #2 between classes and not be late for next class even if everything goes normal,” Stevie argues, “But it’s just about impossible if you have a problem like I did.”

Hearing her story, the members of the TVPC -- well, all except perhaps Mrs. Adler -- sympathize with her situation. I really can’t blame her for not wanting to go un-wiped -- especially after what was a particularly soft and messy bowel movement. And, as noted, it’s been an issue with her before. It’s not a serious offense and even Miss Norberry argues for giving Stevie the most lenient punishment permitted under the rules. Thus, I sentence the pretty, blonde-haired senior to an hour of detention and having to write, “I will not be late be late to class for bathroom purposes again” 100 times.

Moving on to our next case, it’s a girl who faithful readers of the TVPC should have no trouble recognizing. It’s a quite beautiful senior brunette named Winnie. Unfortunately, Winnie has had a long history of panty-soiling accidents throughout her high school career. She already has 3 such “Panty-Soiling” violations this school year. The first (as adjudicated at our Sept. 18, 2019 TVPC session) happened during 8th period English class; the second (a particularly messy one) happened in gym class back in November; and the third (as adjudicated at our Jan. 3, 2020 TVPC session) happened during 7th period French class. But taking a look at the Violation Report in this case -- filed by Miss Bliss, a Social Studies Teacher -- I see that it’s not “Panty-Soiling” but “Leaving School For Bathroom Purposes” that she’s charged with this time. Unless excused by illness or other official reason, girls are expected to remain in school for the entire school day. They may not leave school grounds without permission for any reason and that includes going elsewhere to use the bathroom.

Turning now to Miss Bliss, I ask her what happened. “I had just finished using the faculty bathroom in the library,” the pretty blonde Social Studies Teacher tells us, “And on my way back I just happened to glance out the window and I see a car pulling back into the student parking lot.” “I recognized it as Kevin’s car, Mr. Chairman,” Miss Bliss notes. Kevin is a very close friend of Winnie. “As I said, I recognized it as Kevin’s car and I watched it as it pulled into the parking lot,” the kindly but every vigilant teacher explains, “And as I watched I saw it was Winnie instead of Kevin that got out of the car.”

Miss Bliss tells us that she then went and checked the master schedule and found that Winnie had lunch that period. “If Winnie were up to something it was a good bet that it was bathroom-related,” Miss Bliss reasons, “I mean, when was the last time that Winnie got into trouble for something that wasn’t bathroom-related?” Miss Bliss makes an important point. The very pretty senior brunette is an honor student and she is always impeccably behaved at school except for when it comes to her bathroom matters. “I subsequently went down to the cafeteria and confronted her,” Miss Bliss continues, “I told her that I saw her pulling into the parking lot in Kevin’s car.” “She then admitted that she went home to use the bathroom,” the pretty Social Studies teacher explains, “She told me that Kevin loaned her his car so she could go home to use her own private toilet.” “And this was to have a bowel movement in your own toilet at home?” I ask the senior honor student. “Well, I actually went both ways,” Winnie tells me, “But the reason I went home to do it was because I needed to do a bowel movement.” Though Winnie has had her share of “doubleheader” accidents in the past, it’s generally been her avoidance of doing bowel movements in the girls’ rooms at school that have gotten her into trouble.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I just had to go -- I really had to go bad,” Winnie tells me, an obvious tone of desperation in her voice. “I only did it because I needed to use the toilet,” she pleads, “I only did it because I didn’t want to go in my pants.” “I hate going in my pants -- I really hate how it feels and I hate having to clean up the mess,” she pleads some more, “Please, sir -- I was only trying to avoid having another accident in my pants.” It’s a noble goal of course -- after all, she should be using the toilet instead of messing in her panties -- but it’s hardly the point. “We have plenty of toilets for you to use right here at school, young lady,” I lecture Winnie, “There’s obviously no reason for you to have to leave school when you need to have a bowel movement.” “We have 8 different girls’ room facilities all available for your use right here in school, Winnie,” I point out, “And they all have multiple toilets perfectly capable of handling your bodily functions.” “Obviously, there is no reason you can’t perform all your bodily functions -- including your bowel movements -- right here at school,” I further lecture the toilet-troubled senior beauty, “Obviously the toilets in the girls’ rooms here are perfectly capable of handling whatever it is that you need to do.” But Winnie points out that she simply likes it better going at home -- especially when it’s a bowel movement that she needs to do. “I just like my privacy, sir -- I just like my bathroom at home better,” she says, “I don’t mind #1 at school so much but when it’s the other way, I just like doing it at home better.” “I was just trying to avoid going in my pants, sir,” she reiterates, “I’m just trying not to have accidents in my pants anymore, sir.”

But I reiterate that there’s simply nothing wrong with our girls’ rooms here and there’s no reason why she needs to be going home to use the toilet. “Obviously, we want you to be doing your bowel movements in the toilet instead of your pants,” I tell Winnie, “But when you do have such a need in school you need to be doing it here in one of our girls’ rooms.” “You know full well that you’re not allowed to leave school grounds during the school day and that includes for purposes of going to the bathroom,” I lecture her, taking a firm, stern tone, “Obviously, you knew you were breaking the rules when you did it.” Breaking down in tears, Winnie admits that she did. For one thing, Winnie has not been known to lie. A quick check of TVPC files, shows that Winnie has done this before, although this is her first such offense in the current school year.

Before moving on to Winnie’s punishment, Mrs. Karbopple, a TVPC member, speaks up. “Are you sure you went home to actually use the toilet?” she asks Winnie. Winnie, in turn, stands there confused, not really sure how to answer that. “Yes, Ma’am,” she eventually answers hesitatingly, not really sure what Mrs. Karbopple is getting at. Quite frankly, I’m not really sure, either. “Are you sure, Winnie, that actually using the toilet was the real reason you went home?” she questions the toilet-troubled beauty, “Are you sure that the real reason you went home wasn’t to change your underwear and clean yourself up?” “Are you sure, Winnie, that you hadn’t already soiled your panties here at school and then went home to take care of that?” Mrs. Karbopple asks her. Winnie, now more certain, assures her that she did not. “I went home to AVOID going in my pants, Ma’am -- I went home to use the toilet there,” she tells the committeewoman, “I didn’t have an accident -- I just went in my own toilet at home instead of going here at school.”

Mrs. Karbopple, however, remains skeptical. She argues that it simply makes more sense that Winnie would go home to change out of a mess she’d already had. “At school, she would just hold it in and hold it in and keep holding it in,” the committeewoman argues, “I just don‘t see her going home simply to do it there.” “I can easily see her sneaking out of school like that if she’d already gone in her pants and was desperate to avoid being caught,” she says, “I just don’t see her breaking the rules like that unless she’d already had an accident that she was trying to hide.” “I mean, she usually just holds it in until she can’t hold it in anymore, doesn’t she?” Mrs. Karbopple asks rhetorically. But Winnie remains adamant that she went home and did it in the toilet there BEFORE she had an accident. “I had to go and I knew I couldn’t hold it in until after school,” the senior beauty claims, “I mean, it’s happened to me enough times that I know how it feels when I’m not going to make it.” “I knew it was going to be in my pants soon if I didn’t do something,” Winnie says, “So I rushed home and did it in the toilet there instead.”

Mrs. Adler, another committeewoman on the TVPC, is skeptical as well. “But how do we know that?” she asks Winnie, “How do we really know you didn’t go home to change into clean underwear and clean up after an accident?” “I don’t know how to prove it, Ma’am, but I just didn’t -- I just didn’t have an accident,” she tells her. Mrs. Adler, who is new on the TVPC this year, wonders what would happen if Winnie had indeed done that -- that is, gone home to change and clean up after having had an accident in school. I explain that she’d still be getting punished for “Leaving School For Bathroom Purposes” -- cleaning up after an accident certainly qualifies as a toilet-related reason -- but that she’d also get punishment for having another “Panty-Soiling” accident in school. But Winnie -- even more vehemently than before -- denies that that is what happened. She reiterates again that she left school to avoid the accident by using her own bathroom at home. “I guess I am guilty of that,” she says, “But I didn’t have another accident -- I just didn’t.”

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

I first take a moment to commend Mrs. Karbopple and Mrs. Adler for thinking outside the box on this. Mrs. Adler is correct when she points out that we really can’t be sure that cleaning up after an accident isn’t the real reason that Winnie left school at lunchtime today. But that is also the argument for Winnie’s side of the story, as well. I ask both committeewomen if they have any real evidence that Winnie had, in fact, soiled her panties in school today. Neither has any such evidence and that, of course, forces our committee to rule on what evidence we do have. Specifically, we find Winnie “Guilty” (obviously) of “Leaving School For Bathroom Purposes” but have no basis for charging her with anything else. I give Winnie one last chance to come clean (so to speak) and admit to having had an accident -- promising her that I won’t punish her additionally for lying if she admits it now -- but the toilet-troubled senior beauty denies having had an accident.

Unfortunately for Winnie, though, “Leaving School For Bathroom Purposes” is not a minor offense and given her lengthy list of previous panty-soiling violations (and a charge of “Using A Faculty Bathroom”) there is no cause for leniency. “You’ll write, ’I will not leave school without permission for bathroom-related reasons again’ 500 times,” I tell her, “And that’ll be 500 times on the blackboard after school.” Writing on the blackboard is, of course, more difficult than merely writing on paper. “And when you’re done with that, you’ll serve another week of detention,” I further punish her, “And that’ll be detention sitting on the toilet in the Main Corridor Girls’ Room.” “I hope this will all give you some reason to think, young lady,” I lecture her, “You’re a senior now, Winnie, for pete’s sake -- You really need to be doing your bowel movements in the girls’ room when you need to.” Winnie, though, just stands there crying at the severity of her punishment.

For our next matter before the TVPC, I’m pleased to welcome Mrs. Johns, our ace bathroom monitor. She is here with news of an ongoing -- a long ongoing -- TVPC investigation. Faithful readers of the TVPC will surely remember our November 12, 2019 TVPC session where Mrs. Johns first reported on several matters arising from our school’s Pancake Breakfast fundraiser the prior Saturday morning. The pancake breakfasts -- heavily attended by not only students but parents, faculty and even the public at large -- are held 3 times a year to raise money for our sports programs. The one held that Saturday -- prior to the football game later that day -- was our most successful yet. Unfortunately, there were 3 matters at our school that morning that required the attention of the TVPC and we assigned Mrs. Johns to investigate them. Since these pancake breakfasts are indeed school functions, the toileting behavior of our girls is indeed subject to TVPC jurisdiction.

Under investigation from that morning was a badly clogged toilet in the Coaches’ Office in the Girls’ Locker Room, a bowel movement on a toilet seat in the girls’ room across from the school cafeteria and -- most seriously -- a pair of soiled panties that were found hidden behind a toilet in the girls’ room at the football stadium. The latter, of course, not only constitutes a violation for a girl soiling her panties but the additional and more serious violation of hiding the soiled panties in the girls’ room. At the football game that afternoon all our cheerleaders and female members of the band were given panty inspections. Fortunately, all of them -- including Coach Musso herself -- were found not only to be wearing panties (that being no evidence that they had ditched their panties in the girls’ room) but panties that were clean and dry. Unfortunately, though, that left us with no further suspects as to who soiled the panties and then left them in the girls’ room. Additionally, that’s a problem for our investigation because there’s no guarantee that it was even one of our girls that did it. Lots of women -- including faculty, people from the other school, and event he public at large -- had access to that bathroom that day.

But Mrs. Johns is surely our best investigator and if any of our girls are responsible for that mess, she will surely find them. She’s continuing to investigate that and the other toilet issues that we had that day. Recently, she caught the girl -- a petite sophomore beauty named Hermoine -- who was responsible for the messing on the toilet seat incident that morning. Hermoine just recently finished a stint of toilet-cleaning detention and completed a 300 times writing assignment for that -- a case of her trying to squat over the toilet to have a bowel movement that morning and doing an egregiously bad job of it. She was, of course, found “Guilty” of only having messed on the seat accidentally but also having failed to lift up the toilet seat as is required when a girl squats rather than sits all the way down on the toilet seat.

Today, I note that Mrs. Johns has filed Violation Reports on 2 other girls as per her investigation. I’m momentarily quite pleased thinking that she’s finally caught the girls responsible for those other 2 incidents -- especially the incident of the soiled panties found in the football stadium girls’ room. But as a I take a closer look, I see that this is not the case. I see that the 2 girls with Mrs. Johns -- a quirky, sophomore loner named Allison and a well-spoken junior blonde named Denise -- are each simply charged with a “Panty-Soiling” violation. Both are, however, panty-soilings dating back to that pancake breakfast Saturday. Quite puzzled, I ask Mrs. Johns for an explanation.

“It’s the darndest thing, Mr. Chairman,” our ace bathroom monitor explains, “You just never know what you’re going to find when you conduct an investigation.” She then explains that in the course of her investigation (in particular, her investigation of the soiled panties in the football stadium girls’ room) she managed to uncover unrelated panty-soilings by Allison and Denise that same day. “As far as I can tell, neither girl had anything to do with the soiled panties in the girls’ room,” Mrs. Johns tells us, “But it just so happens that these 2 had accidents that day as well.” “Sometimes, you just never know,” she tells us with a smile, turning to face Allison and Denise in the process, “Sometimes you just don’t know what you’re going to uncover when you do an investigation.” Not surprisingly, neither girl is as amused as Mrs. Johns by this turn of events. Imagine having escaped being caught with soiled panties at the time and now -- 2 months later -- to suddenly get caught. Since the details of these 2 accidents are very different, I’ll deal with each case separately.

Allison -- the quirky sophomore loner -- has 2 previous panty-soiling offenses this year and a “Loitering In The Girls’ Room” violation. And last year, as a freshman, she had 5 panty-soiling violations including 2 doubleheaders. A “doubleheader” is, of course when a girl goes both ways in her pants. Accordingly, it’s not at all surprising to learn of her soiling her panties yet again that day. What quite frankly does surprise me is that Allison -- as noted, a loner type -- would even attend the Pancake Breakfast in the first place. But Mrs. Johns explains that Allison was actually cooking the pancakes that morning as part of some arrangement with her Occupational Foods teacher to get extra credit. “Actually it was a project for the Occupational Foods class,” Allison then clarifies, “We actually have to work at least 2 actual cooking jobs for the school,” she explains, “And cooking pancakes for the Pancake Breakfast is one of the options.” “It’s kind of like we’re supposed to get some real world cooking experience,” Allison adds.

“I think in the real world, cooks are supposed to use the toilet when they need to,” Mrs. Adler, a committeewoman, chimes in, “I think in the real world they expect cooks not to mess in their panties while they’re cooking people’s food.” Her sarcasm draws a few giggles from the assembled crowd. “I’d like to think that the person cooking my food was doing so without a load of fecal matter in her panties,” Mrs. Adler continues, “That’s pretty disgusting if you ask me.” “What’s the matter, young lady?“ she asks Allison, “Are you not allowed bathroom breaks while you’re working a school project like that?” Allison doesn’t immediately answer her, but Mrs. Adler presses the issue. Allison then reluctantly admits that bathroom breaks were indeed allowed. “Of course they were,” Mrs. Adler then yells at her, “Of course bathroom breaks were allowed.” “But you, for whatever reason, decided not to use one,” the committeewoman continues lecturing the girl, “You, for whatever reason, decided to go in your pants instead.”

But Allison, as she breaks down in tears, answers that she did take a bathroom break and peed in the girls’ room that morning. That, though, seems to only make Mrs. Adler more angry. “Well, that apparently wasn’t the only thing you needed to do, was it?” she yells at the girl, “You obviously also needed a bowel movement but you just decided to do that in your pants instead, didn’t you?” But Allison, once again, claims that it wasn’t quite like that -- that she just didn’t decide to go in her pants. “I thought I could hold it in, Ma’am,” she tells Mrs. Adler, “I thought I could hold it in and wait until I got home.” “It just didn’t feel like I had to go that bad,” Allison continues, “I really thought I could just wait and go when I got home instead.” “I almost did make it in time,” she then claims, “It actually was only a little bit in my panties here at school.”

Upon questioning form me, though, she admits that she did have a more substantial accident while on the drive home with her father. “When he picked me up, I told him that I needed to get home as soon as possible,” she says, a bit nonchalant, “Suffice to say, I had a bit of a problem when he insisted on running a few errands first.” The implication, of course, was that she messed in her panties a lot worse in the car on the way home. But that -- having taken place off school grounds -- is of no concern to the TVPC. “I guess next time he’ll listen to me when I tell him I need to get home as soon as possible,” she says. Her joking about that raises a few eyebrows amongst the members of the TVPC. Checking with Mrs. Johns, she confirms that her investigation revealed that although Allison‘s mess wasn‘t all that large -- at least not the portion she did in her panties at school -- it was clearly substantial enough to be considered an accident. “I have corroborating statements as to that, Mr. Chairman, and Allison herself isn‘t actually denying it,” Mrs. Johns reports. “I did it, sir,” Allison then admits. “That it wasn’t all that big an accident and that she was wearing a cooking apron at the time probably accounts for the fact she didn’t get caught when it happened,” Mrs. Johns adds.

But that leaves open the question of how Mrs. Johns managed to catch her now -- 2 whole months after the fact. Of course, I ask her about that. Mrs. Johns tells us that it’s all a matter of asking questions and following up on the answers. “Lots of girls know when other girls have accidents,” she explains, “And if they don’t know for sure, they may have heard rumors about things.” “I was actually asking about girls who may have gone in their pants at the Pancake Breakfast and then gone to the football stadium girls’ room to clean themselves up,” our ace investigator explains further, “I was actually investigating to find who had soiled herself and left the panties there.” “She didn’t do that but Allison’s name came up as someone who soiled her panties that morning,” Mrs. Johns continues, “Brandy told me that it wasn’t Allison who left her messy panties in the girls’ room but that Allison definitely did mess in her panties that morning.” “She said that she and Allison were both out front that morning waiting for a ride home and that she could smell that Allison had a mess in her panties,” Mrs. Johns reports, “She said it was hard to see so she doubted that it was a lot in her panties but she was definitely fidgeting around and twisting her legs like she had to go some more.” “Brandy was a big help in my investigation, Mr. Chairman,” our ace investigator and bathroom monitor tells me, “She’s a fine girl.”

Coincidently, Brandy is here in the committee room serving detention and busily writing sentences for a toilet violation of her own -- specifically, “Leaving Class Without Permission To Use The Toilet.” I take a moment to thank her for coming forward and helping us out in our investigation. Brandy acknowledges that but generally doesn’t seem all that enthusiastic about it. Mrs. Crabtree asks her why she didn’t report Allison for the panty-soiling back when it happened. “I’m not the toilet police -- I thought that was your job,” she then, rather sarcastically, tells Mrs. Crabtree. I and the other members of the TVPC are a bit taken aback. I understand that she’s probably not happy to be stuck in detention writing lines -- her violation a result of her being stuck in class having to go and the teacher not giving her permission to go to the girls’ room -- but still I must warn her to watch her tone.

Pausing for a moment to regain her composure, -- playing with her locket made of finest silver from the north of Spain -- Brandy says that she doesn’t blame Allison for trying to hold it in at the pancake breakfast. “That bathroom down by the cafeteria is disgusting enough,” the girl explains, “But then when you crowd everyone in there when you have an event like the Pancake Breakfast it makes it even worse.” “I mean, who wants to sit down and take one when the girls’ room is jammed with people like that,” she says. “Do you have any idea what that bathroom smelled like that morning?” Brandy rambles on, “Do you know that someone even took one all over the toilet seat in one of the stalls?”

Looking over at Allison, I see the quirky sophomore nodding her head. But that seems to anger Brandy even worse. “It’s still no excuse for making a mess in your pants,” she then angrily tells Allison, “How can a girl your age even think of doing something like that?” “It’s one thing to hold it in and wait if you can manage it,” she lectures Allison, “But to simply refuse to go in the toilet and go in your panties is just totally disgusting.” “I don’t care how disgusting the bathroom is,” Brandy continues, “It’s still not an excuse for making a mess in your panties.” “Not when you’re in high school,” she adds, “How can a girl in high school just go in your panties like you did -- not when you had every opportunity to go use a toilet instead.”

Moving ahead to Allison’s punishment, it’s actually a pretty simple case. It may have come to us under unusual circumstances but it’s really only a simple panty-soiling case. Allison simply went in her pants instead of using the toilet like she should have. Mrs. Adler argues that she should receive the maximum punishment for a panty-soiling violation. That based on the fact that she did so while working in food service. I don’t disagree with her that it is indeed quite disgusting to be cooking pancakes while she’s got a fecal load in her panties but nothing in the TVPC rules provides for an enhanced punishment because of that. And sadly, we can’t punish her for an unusually large load because that only happened in her father’s car off school grounds. Nor can we punish her anymore severely because we failed to catch her with mess in her panties when it actually happened. It’s her third panty-soiling of the school year and accordingly, I simply sentence her to 3 hours of detention and having to write, “I will not soil my panties in school or at the Pancake Breakfast again” 300 times.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Mrs. Johns’ second case this afternoon -- another “Panty-Soiling” violation from the Pancake Breakfast -- involves a well-spoken junior beauty named Denise. Denise, who plays clarinet in the school band, was apparently here at school for most of the day -- first for the Pancake Breakfast and then, of course, for the football game. I must say that seeing this pretty and articulate junior charged with “Panty-Soiling” surprises me. She not only has no prior accidents of either kind this school year but none so far in her high school career. Well, at least not until the day of the Pancake Breakfast back in November. Mrs. Johns’ investigation seems to reveal this as a simple case of “Panty-Soiling” but I’m not so sure. Somehow it doesn’t seem quite so simple to me as the Violation Report would seem to indicate. While it certainly doesn’t seem to be in question that Denise actually did soil her panties that day, how it happened and what happened next doesn’t seem all that clear to me. Naturally, the TVPC must delve into all that as we hear the case.

Asking Denise for her plea to the charge, the junior beauty seems confused. “I’m not really sure what to say, sir,” she tells me, “I’m not really sure how I should plead.” This time, I -- as well as the other members of the TVPC look at HER confused. “I mean, I guess I’m guilty -- I unfortunately did soil my panties that morning,” she then explains, “But I didn’t actually soil my panties at the breakfast.” “It happened outside,” she explains further, “It happened outside in the back parking lot.” “Well, if it happened on school grounds that would make you guilty,” I tell her. “If you had feces in your panties on school grounds that would indeed constitute a “panty-soiling” violation,” I explain, “And it’s apparently your first one -- at least in school -- to boot.” “Yes, sir -- It was,” Denise tells me. That point she is quick to make as it would only mean a warning for her instead of an actual punishment. “As I said, it didn’t happen inside at the Pancake Breakfast but outside in the parking lot near the football stadium,” she reiterates “But unfortunately it did happen on school grounds -- So I guess that makes me guilty.”

That clarifies that but it most certainly does raise the issue of what she was doing outside in the parking lot at the time. I mean obviously it would seem to have made more sense for her to go to the girls’ room instead -- especially for a girl with such an impeccable toilet record as hers. Naturally, I ask her about that. “I guess I’m just missing something here, young lady,” I tell her, “Were you planning on going to the bathroom outside or something.” “I mean, obviously you had to go and I’m sure you knew that you had to go bad,” I question her, “Why wouldn’t you just have gone to the girls’ room and taken care of that before anything else?”

Denise then gives me a look of recognition and a nod of her head. “Well, yeah, I guess I should have,” she tells me, seeming a little disgusted with herself, “Well, considering what happened I DEFINITELY should have done that.” “But the thing is, I really didn’t want to do my business -- especially that kind of business -- in the girls’ room down by the cafeteria,” she tells us. That statement raises a few eyebrows on the committee. It’s not like we haven’t heard that before -- in fact, we hear a lot of complaints about school bathrooms. It’s just that we don’t often hear it from girls with spotlessly clean toilet records like her. But Denise goes on to explain that it’s not so much school bathrooms as a whole she doesn’t like but just that girls’ room in particular.

“Most of the girls’ rooms here really aren’t so bad,” she tells us, “You just have to make sure that you can use certain ones -- especially when you have to do more than just pee.” “That bathroom down by the cafeteria is just gross,” she tells us further, “Especially when it’s crowded at lunchtime or when there’s a big event in the school cafeteria like a Pancake Breakfast. The well-spoken beauty explains that the 2nd Floor Girls’ Room, the Main Corridor Girls’ Room, and the girls’ rooms in the New Addition and the Science Wing are the ones she likes to use. “And when you gotta go the other way, you always try to be in bathroom when they’re not too many other girls around,“ she says, “Nobody likes to do THAT when the bathroom is crowded like at one of those big school events.” “She says we should let everyone go upstairs and use those others bathrooms if they want to. “The girls’ room down by the cafeteria is just gross -- nobody wants to go #2 in there,” she argues, “You really shouldn’t block off the hallways and make everyone use that one when you have big events in the cafeteria.”

“The girls’ room is gross?” Mrs. Adler questions her, “You think the girls’ room is gross, so you go in your pants instead?” “You think the girls’ room is gross but it’s fine to go in your pants?” she asks the girl angrily, “You don’t think that messing in your panties is gross?”

“It is gross -- it‘s really gross,” Denise then acknowledges, “That mess in my panties in my panties was about the grossest thing ever.” “I can’t believe I did that,” she tells Mrs. Adler. “Trust me when I tell you that I never want to do that again,” she assures us all, “Trust me when I tell you that I wish I had used that girls’ room in the school when I had the chance instead of going in my pants.” The pretty blonde clarinet player goes on to tell us that going in her pants was surely not her plan. But I then point out that between the Pancake Breakfast that morning and the football game that afternoon, she was going to be at school for most of the day. “Surely, you didn’t expect to hold it in all day, did you?” I ask her. Denise assures us that that obviously was not her plan, either.

She then explains that her plan initially was to go home before the game and do her business there. “I text-messaged my sister and told her that I had to go,” Denise explains, “She was coming to game later anyway, so I just asked her if she could pick me up earlier and take me home first.” “She first texted me that she would, so I decided to just hold it in and wait,” Denise continues, “At that point I really didn’t think it was going to be a problem at all.” “But she was at the dentist and it was taking longer than she expected -- she texted me back saying she’d get here as soon as she could,” the pretty junior explains further, “But it was taking longer and longer and pretty soon I started thinking that maybe I wasn’t going to make it.”

Continuing, she tells us that she waiting for her sister outside in the parking lot and she happened to notice that the football stadium was now open. “By now, I definitely knew that I wasn’t going to make it home,” Denise tells us, “I knew I had to use a girls’ room somewhere, so I thought the football stadium was my best bet.” “The girls’ room there really isn’t too bad -- especially if you go before the game after it’s just been cleaned,” she explains, “Actually, it’s not bad at all as long as you go before halftime when everyone else is using it and all the toilet paper is gone.” “I’ve gone #2 in there quite a few times over the years,” the pretty clarinet player explains further, “It’s certainly a lot nicer than using the girls’ room in the school across from the cafeteria.’ Denise goes on to tell us that she started heading for the football stadium but she couldn’t quite make it there in time. “I guess I had just waited too long before I decided to go,” she tells us in a decidedly embarrassed tone, “Unfortunately I just couldn’t make it to the girls’ room there in time -- It all started coming out in my panties before I got there.” “I made a mess in my panties,” she says, bowing her head in shame, “It was the first time that I’ve had an accident since I’ve been in high school.”

Watching Denise as she tells this, it is abundantly clear how disgusted she is with herself for doing this. “It was gross -- it was just gross!” she tells us, “I never want to feel that feeling of having a mess in my panties again.” “I can’t tell you how embarrassing it was sitting there in the girls’ room with a mess in my panties,” she says, “Sitting there on the toilet just staring at my messed panties -- It was about the most shameful thing I’ve ever done.” “Trust me when I tell you that I never want to go through that again,” she explains, “Trust me when I tell you that no matter what, I’m never going to do that in my panties again.”

Hearing her description of the incident, though, raises several questions for me -- not the least of which concerns the aforementioned messy panties. Looking over to the Spectators’ Section, I see that Mrs. Sylvester, our Band and Choir Director, is here. “Didn’t we check all the cheerleaders and girls in the band after we found the messy panties in the girls’ room at the game?” I ask her. The implication, of course, is the question of how Denise, having messed in her panties earlier, could have passed such a panty inspection. “I can’t speak for the cheerleaders but I checked all the girls in the bad personally,” Mrs. Sylvester then explains, “None of my girls had accidents in their panties nor were any of them without their panties.” Wearing no underwear, of course, would be evidence of a girl possibly having had an accident and then subsequently getting rid of the panties. But Denise, at the time of her panty-inspection at the game, was apparently wearing clean (and dry) underwear. Something just doesn’t seem to add up and it’s of particular concern considering the still unresolved matter of the messy panties having been found in the girls’ room that day. Hiding messy panties in the girls’ room is, of course, a very serious offense.

But checking back with Denise, the well-spoken blonde beauty seems ready to explain it all. She tells us that her sister brought clean panties for her to change into. “I was in the girls’ room there -- I was starting to try to wipe myself clean of the mess,” she explains, “When I get a text from my sister that she was on her way to pick me up.” “But by now, of course, it was already too late,” she tells us, “I had to text her back and tell her what happened and ask her to bring me clean underwear instead.” “I can’t tell you how embarrassing that is texting your sister and asking her to bring you clean panties,” Denise notes, “That’s another thing that I never want to have to do again.” “I somehow managed to clean myself up with toilet paper in that bathroom stalls,” Denise explains further, “And then I changed into the clean panties that my sister had brought me.”

But while that explains how she passed the panty-inspection later conducted by Mrs. Sylvester, it raises a few eyebrows on the committee regarding Denise’s soiled panties. Obviously, I now have to question her as to whether it was her soiled panties that we later found hidden behind a toilet in the football stadium girls’ room. Denise, though, vehemently denies that those soiled panties were hers. “I would never do that, sir -- I would never leave my soiled panties in a school bathroom like that,” she assures us, “I know that I could get put on toilet suspension for that.” “And even without that I still wouldn’t want to leave them there where someone else could find them,” she says, “I’d want to get rid of them where no one else could find them and maybe find out they came from me.”

She then claims that while she finished cleaning herself up in the girls’ room -- using some of those moist toilettes that her sister brought -- her sister took her soiled panties and stashed them in the trunk of her car. Upon further questioning from me, she then admits that rather than cleaning ultimately cleaning the panties, they instead stopped on the way home at the restaurant where her sister works and tossed them into the garbage dumpster there. That revelation angers Mrs. Adler a bit. “You should have taken the panties home and cleaned them,” she tells the girl, “The proper consequence of making a mess in your panties is having to then clean up the mess.” “The idea is that after having to clean up enough disgusting messes, the girl learns how much easier it is to simply go in the toilet when she needs to,” Mrs. Adler lectures her, “But just throwing the panties away the girl doesn’t always learn her lesson.” But Denise assures the committeewoman that she had indeed learned her lesson. “Trust me, ma’am, I’m never going to mess in my panties again,” she tells Mrs. Adler, “I know I didn’t clean the panties but it was plenty disgusting just having to clean myself after doing the mess.” “Sitting in the girls’ room at the field and trying desperately to wipe myself clean of the mess is not something I ever want to do again,” she explains, “I was getting poop all over my hand with each wipe I did.” “Trust me when I say that it’s never going to happen again,” she assures us all. “I don’t care what a particular girls’ room is like,” she explains, “It’s still better than going in my pants -- anything is better than going in my pants again.”

Her tone is no doubt one of sincerity. And similarly, her story of ditching the panties in the garbage dumpster at the restaurant instead of in the football stadium girls’ room seems sincere to me as well. But more importantly, I trust the investigation conducted by Mrs. Johns who is convinced as well that those found panties were not Denise’s. She points out that those panties were, among other things, two sizes larger than the panties that Denise is wearing now. “I’m not saying that she couldn’t have worn them, Mr. Chairman,” our ace bathroom monitor explains, “But I’m just saying that it seems very unlikely.” Denise again assures us that she disposed of her panties in that restaurant garbage dumpster and that the panties later found in the football stadium girls’ room were definitely not hers. She says further that she has no idea who left her messy panties and that she doesn’t know of anyone else who may have had an accident at school that day. Getting rid of the panties off school grounds as she did, is, of course, not a matter for the TVPC.

Now while that is certainly good news for Denise, I have some bad news as well. As we move on to the determination of her punishment for the panty-soiling, Denise is quick to remind us that it’s her first such offense and first toilet violation of any kind of the school year. The implication, of course, is that she should get only a warning and no actual punishment. But unfortunately for her, it’s not quite that simple. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, accidents and other toilet violations by members of the band (or cheerleaders, athletes, and other girls) while representing the school are punished more severely than ordinary toilet violations occurring in school. And accidents while representing the school do not qualify to receive only a warning even when it’s a girl’s first offense. I, of course, inform Denise of this. “I’m sorry, Denise,” I tell her, “But this being an accident while in you capacity as a member of our band makes this a more serious matter.” “I’m afraid, I can’t let off with just a warning for this,” I explain.

Denise, though, questions that. “This happened way before the game -- It really happened more or less at the Pancake Breakfast,” she argues, “I mean maybe not exactly AT the Pancake Breakfast but it was certainly more a part of the Pancake Breakfast than the game” “It really had nothing at all to do with the game or me being in the band,” she argues further, “I really don’t see how you can consider that to be that I was representing the school at the time.” “I mean, I had it all cleaned up long before it was time for the game,” she adds. But carefully checking the TVPC regulations, her status at the time is quite clear. “ Unfortunately, young lady, the TVPC has very strict regulations on matters such as this,” I explain, “The problem is that you went into the football stadium girls’ room to clean your mess up.” “The problem is that you had a mess in your panties at the game site on the day of the game,” I explain further, “On the day of a game where you were a representative of the school as a member of the school band.” “It’s kind of like when a girl has an accident on the bus coming home for a game,” I point out, “A girl is considered to be representing the school from the moment she sets foot on school property before the event to when she leaves school property after the event.”

Denise understands -- she’s a smart girl -- but she clearly doesn’t like it. “That’s not fair -- its’ just not fair,” she says, “In fact, it’s pretty ridiculous if you ask me.” Putting up my hand to stop her, I then issue her her punishment. And, even with no priors, a panty-soiling accident while representing the school is not a minor offense. For punishment she gets 5 days detention and will have to write, “I will not soil my panties in school or at band events again” 500 times. Denise then looks at me, stunned at the severity of her punishment. “This is ridiculous -- This is totally ridiculous,” she reiterates, “This whole thing happened long before I had any band activity at school that day.” “And I had it all cleaned up long before that and certainly long before anyone else from outside our school got there to see me in messy panties,” she argues, “This was in no way an embarrassment to the school or anything like.” The reason we punish violations while represent the school more seriously than others is that such violations bring embarrassment not only to the girl herself but to our whole school. “This punishment is completely unfair,” she tells me, now with a tone of anger in her voice, “I should only be getting a warning for a first offense and now you give me 500 times and a week in detention instead.” “This is just totally ridiculous,” she adds, in a similarly angry tone. I quickly put up my hand to stop her before she goes any further, but she continues anyway. “Allison goes in her pants 3 times and she only gets 3 days and 300 times,” Denise continues, “But I get 5 days and 500 times when it’s only my first.” Immediately, I grab my gavel and bang it. This time Denise gets the message and stops. “And now you can spend you detention tomorrow standing in the corner facing the wall,” I tell her and note for the record. “And your next outburst is going to mean spending all your detentions in the corner facing the wall,” I warn her, “And we’ll keep going from there, if you want.” Wisely, Denise heads the warning and realizes that she’s said enough already.

[Arnold Ziffel]

Toilet Violations Punishment Committee

Our next accident case is that of a skinny Sophomore brunette named Ally. Her accident, though, is not soiling her panties but wetting them. As the shy, nervous beauty stands at the podium nervously chewing her hair, I note the wetness is still quite visible in the crotch area and upper thighs of her jeans. Her friend Austin is here in the spectators’ section -- apparently for moral support. That doesn’t surprise me -- AUSTIN AND ALLY are inseparable. I must say, though, that I am surprised to see Ally standing there in wet jeans. She is indeed a bit shy but that generally doesn’t seem to extend to when she needs to use the bathroom She typically handles both of her bodily functions at school without any problems. Though she hasn’t been completely immune to accidents -- she did have a soiling accident last year -- she has no prior accidents this year and it is indeed quite surprising to see her having wet her pants like this. As Ally stands before us in jeans still bearing the tell-tale signs of having wet them, she is obviously quite embarrassed. Apparently, it happened in French class 6th period earlier today. Mrs. Defequer -- our French Teacher -- is here to press the “Panty-Wetting” charge against her. Apparently, I’m not the only surprised to see Ally in wet pants like this.

“I’m surprised at you, Ally,” Mrs. Defequer tells her, “I can’t believe you’d just sit there and wet your pants in class like that.” Mrs. Defequer reports that Ally made no attempt to go to the girls’ room before it happened. “She didn’t even ask to go to the girls’ room or anything like that,” the pretty French teacher explains. “I’m just going about my business teaching the class and all of a sudden, Ally just starts wetting her pants.” “It was just an ordinary day in class -- Nothing out of the ordinary was happening,” Mrs. Defequer continues, “And then all of a sudden there’s a big ruckus all centered around Ally.” “I turn to see what is going on and Ally is just sitting there wetting her pants,” Mrs. Defequer tells us, “The urine is just flowing into her pants and eventually some of it starts dripping onto the floor.” “This was no small accident, Mr. Chairman,” the strict French Teacher tells me, “Ally really went a lot IN HER PANTS!” With those last 3 words, she turns and directs her comments directly to the skinny sophomore brunette. And Ally, in turn, cringes with embarrassment. “I can’t believe you didn’t even ask for a girls’ room pass, Ally,” she tells the girl, “I just don’t understand why would just sit there and wet your pants like that instead of just going to the girls’ room like you should.” Ally just looks back blankly at her French Teacher like even she herself isn’t sure why she didn’t ask for a girls’ room pass when she obviously had to go quite badly.

Hearing Mrs. Defequer’s description of the wetting, Mrs. Crabtree, a TVPC member, wonders if Ally should be charged with wetting her pants on purpose. As faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, going in your pants on purpose -- whichever bodily function it is -- is a more serious violation than merely having an accident. But the ever vigilant French Teacher quickly nixes that idea. “No, it definitely was an accident,” Mrs. Defequer assures us. “I can tell when a girl is genuinely trying to hold it in or when a girl has simply given up and just lets go,” she tells us, “And Ally was most definitely trying to hold it in.” “I mean, she was obviously trying to hold it in way longer than she should have,” Mrs. Defequer quickly adds, “But she was definitely trying to hold it in and just couldn’t.” “I’m still not getting what happened with this whole thing with you,” she then turns and tells the shy and pretty honor student, “But I could definitely tell by the expression on your face that you weren’t doing it on purpose.” “I still don’t get why you didn’t use one of your girls’ room passes when you obviously had to go so bad,” she tells Ally.

That last point from Mrs. Defequer is an important one. “Ally had girls’ room passes left?” I ask the strict French teacher. “Yes, Mr. Chairman, she did,” Mrs. Defequer assures me. “As I’m sure you know, I let girls in my classes have 3 girls’ room passes per month,” she then explains, “And Ally did have a pass left that she could have used.”

“But that’s just it,” Ally then quickly chimes in, “I only had one girls’ room pass left.” “I only had ONE pass left for the rest of the month,” she reiterates, “If I had to go again in French class, I couldn’t go for the rest of the month.” Ally points out that the month is only less than half over. “What would I have done if I had to go again -- Especially if I had to go #2 next time?” she reasons, “I just didn’t want to risk using my last bathroom pass -- especially not just to pee and especially not this early in the month.” Well, I can certainly understand her concern about not wanting to use her last bathroom pass of the month. But I wouldn’t think she’d want to wet her pants, either. I mean, those bathroom passes are designed for, among other things, so girls can avoid wetting their pants in class. Naturally, I ask Ally about this.

“Well, I didn’t intend to wet my pants, sir -- I was trying to hold it in,” Ally tells us, “I thought I could make it until the end of class.” “I really thought that I could hold it in and wait -- I really wanted to save that last bathroom pass,” Ally continues, “But I guess I just had to go worse than I thought -- Obviously, I didn’t quite make it to the end of class.” Pausing for a moment and looking at me, Ally kind of shrugs her shoulders a bit -- not so much making excuses for what she did but just kind of accepting it. “Obviously, I didn’t want to wet my pants, sir,” she tells me. “But even so, I wouldn’t want to leave myself without another bathroom pass this early in the month,” she explains, “I wouldn’t want to leave myself without a bathroom pass in case I had to go the other way.” “I mean, like I said, I certainly didn’t want to wet my pants in class -- that’s embarrassing and even a little uncomfortable,” Ally explains further, “But that’s nothing compared to going in my pants the other way -- that’s just awful how that feels and that’s way more embarrassing.” Ally mentions how that happened back in November in Mrs. Defequer’s class when she found herself without a bathroom pass left on the last day of the month. “That was just awful, sir -- I never want to go through that again,” she tells me, “That’s why I always try to save a bathroom pass in case I need to go to the girls’ room for that.

Acknowledging Ally’s explanation, I note that this is not a serious offense -- obviously, she’s only charged with a panty-wetting accident and not doing it on purpose. I also note that though it’s her first accident offense of the school year, she does have 2 prior toilet violations -- both for being late to class for bathroom purposes. “Accordingly, you’re not entitled to be let off with just a warning for this,” I explain, “But still it’s only your first accident offense so your punishment certainly isn’t going to be severe. Ally, smiling a bit, nods her head in acknowledgement of that.

But before actually getting to her punishment, Mrs. Crabtree raises an issue. Looking at the print-out of Ally’s prior toilet violations this year, she notes -- as I did -- that this would be her first accident violation of the school year. “But didn’t you just tell us that you had an accident before?” the committeewoman asks Ally. “Didn’t you just say that you had the other kind of accident in your pants back in November?” Mrs. Crabtree asks her, “Didn’t you just explain how much you hated having that mess in your panties?”

Those comments raise a few surprised expressions in the committee room. Not the least of them is Ally -- although her expression is more of cringe than of surprise. The issue, of course, is Ally making reference to a soiling accident you had back in November when there is no such accident on her record. Obviously, I need to ask Ally about this. And, obviously, I encourage her to be honest about it. “If you did have an accident, the best you can do now is be honest about it,” I tell her. “Just because you managed to get away with it then, doesn’t mean you’ll get punished any worse for it now.” “If all you did was soil your panties then, a ‘Panty-Soiling’ violation is all you’ll be punished for now,” I explain, “We certainly don’t hold it against you that you managed to avoid getting caught with the mess when it happened.” “About the only way to make it worse on yourself is to lie about it now,” I explain further -- trying very hard to convince the sweet and shy brunette to simply tell the truth. Ally then nods her head and acknowledges that she did indeed have an accident -- specifically, a soiling accident -- but did manage to avoid getting caught with the mess. She confirms that it did happen back in November in Mrs. Defequer’s class when she was indeed stuck in class without any bathroom passes left.

“I guess I was lucky in that I did manage to hold it in until near the end of class,” Ally then tells us, “And I guess I was lucky that it wasn’t all that much in my pants because I did manage to hold some of it in.” “I went immediately to the girls’ room after class and I did the rest in the toilet,” she continues, “And then I not only wiped myself but quickly cleaned what I could out of my panties and went on to my next class.” “I guess I was lucky,” Ally reiterates, “I guess I was able to clean it up enough that the mess in my panties wasn’t too bad and I made it through the rest of the day like that.” “No one seemed to notice that I had a little bit of a mess in my panties.” Quickly putting two and two together, I note Ally’s violation on November 27th for “Late To Class For Bathroom Purposes.” “Is that why you were late for next class that day,” I ask the shy beauty, “Is that why you took so long in the girls’ room? -- You were in there cleaning up your mess?” “Yes, sir,” Ally tells me, nodding her head. “Between doing the rest in the toilet, wiping myself and then cleaning up my panties, I was late for my next class,” Ally explains, “I tried to do it as quickly as possible, but the passing time between class is barely enough to time to even pee, much less do what I had to do.” “And I had to make sure to be careful, too,” she notes, “I certainly didn’t want to clog the toilet or get any of the mess on the toilet seat.” And confirming with her that she did not, in fact, clog the toilet or get the mess on the toilet seat or do anything else in violation of TVPC rules, Ally assures us that she did not. “I was just a little late for class, that’s all,” the nervous but well-spoken sophomore assures me.

“Well, you were late for class AND you messed in your panties,” I quickly remind her, “Not necessarily in that order.” Ally then nods her head in acknowledgement of that. But it’s still not a serious offense. As noted, it’s only her first panty-soiling accident of the school year, but it does make today’s panty-wetting her second accident offense. Accordingly, she gets an hour of detention and 100 times (“I will not soil my panties in school again”) for the panty-soiling and two hours of detention and 200 times (“I will not wet my panties in school again”) for the wetting violation. She was, of course, already punished for the violation of being late for class.

For the next matter before the TVPC, we have 2 familiar faces and 2 close friends. Ivy, a vivacious, full-figured brunette, and Teddy, a well-spoken blonde-haired honor student both take the podium when I call their names. Reading the Violation Reports filed on these 2 very pretty seniors, I see that they are charged with “Clogging the Toilet.” More specifically, they are each charged with a “Category #2 Clogging” (that’s a clogging with fecal matter and toilet paper combined) in the girls’ room down by the gym. Furthermore, the Violation Reports indicate that the time of the clogging was before 1st period this morning. The Violation Reports have been filed by Lisa, a pretty, blonde-haired senior cheerleader, and they are quite thorough, but still something about this case puzzles me. Teddy and Ivy – Perennially good natured and cheerful – Seemed rather annoyed to be charged with these offenses.

“They both clogged the toilet?” I ask Lisa, “IT TAKES TWO of them to clog the toilet?” “I mean, I know that Teddy and Ivy have clogged some toilets before,” I acknowledge to Lisa, “But to have both of them clog the toilet on the same day, at the same time, in the same girls’ room? – That’s an amazing coincidence!”

“We didn’t do it – neither of us did,” Teddy says, apparently speaking for both of them, “This case just doesn’t make any sense.” “Does Lisa think that we both used the same toilet?” Ivy asks. Of course, I look at Ivy, quite puzzled at her strange question. Teddy then clarifies the point. “As for as we know, there was only 1 clogged toilet,” Teddy explains, “But somehow we’re both charged with clogging a toilet.” “So unless we both clogged the same toilet, I don’t know how this is supposed to work,” she adds. Ivy nods her head. “What she said!” Ivy adds, pointing to her friend.

Of course, our attention then turns to Lisa who brought these charges. “I never said that they both used the same toilet – That’s just silly,” she responds, “I’m just saying that one of them clogged the toilet.” “But you’ve charged BOTH of them with clogging the toilet?” I ask her. “Yes sir,” she tells me. “The thing is that I don’t know whether it was Teddy or Ivy,” she explains, “But I know that one of them did it.” “I didn’t know which one to charge – I didn’t know what else to do,” the senior beauty continues, “So I figured that I’d charge them both and we’d get one of them to admit to it here at the meeting.” “I’m not saying that either of you did it on purpose,” Lisa tells the two of them, “So I’m sure you won’t get a bad punishment if you just admit which one of you did it.” “The 2 of them were both using the girls’ room before school this morning – The girls’ room down by the gym and the Music room,” Lisa then explains further, “And when I went in there after them, I found the clogged toilet.” “I talked to Miss Musso and she said that she had used the girls’ room even earlier,” she continues, “And she said that none of the toilets were clogged then.” “And then Ivy and Teddy use the girls’ room and a toilet ends up getting clogged,” she points out, “It really isn’t too hard to figure out that one of them clogged the toilet.”

“I’m sorry Lisa, but neither of us is going to admit to something we didn’t do,” Teddy calmly explains to her classmate, “I’m sorry but neither of us clogged that toilet -- It just didn‘t happen.” “We didn’t even poop in there this morning,” Ivy says, considerably more animated than her more reserved friend, “Neither of us pooped – We both just peed.”
“It’s true,” Teddy reports, “I pooped at home this morning and I only peed at school today.” “Well, I did poop at school,” Ivy then chimes back in, “But I pooped after lunch, not this morning.” “AND I DIDN’T CLOG THE TOILET WHEN I POOPED THEN, EITHER!” Ivy tells Lisa -- doing it quite loudly.

“I think Ivy is telling the truth, sir,” comes a voice from the detention section of the TVPC committee room. That voice belongs to Ariana, a talented sophomore beauty, serving detention today for flushing a sanitary pad down the toilet. “I was peeing in the girls’ room at lunchtime today and Ivy was in the stall next to me,” Ariana tells us, “And Ivy was definitely doing more in there than just peeing.” The implication, of course, is that if Ivy had a bowel movement at lunchtime, it’s doubtful that she had one before school just a few hours earlier. “I guess I could get my mom as a witness to my going at home this morning,” Teddy then chimes in, “I think she’s down in the Music room with the school choir now.” “But mom definitely knows that I did a bowel movement at home this morning,” Teddy continues, “I ran out of toilet paper and mom had to bring me some.” The implication again is that Teddy wouldn’t be having 2 bowel movements – especially one of the toilet-clogging variety – In such a short time. “That won’t be necessary, Teddy – No need to bother your mom about this,” I tell her, “We have enough information to make a decision on this case.”

Lisa really has no evidence that either girl clogged the toilet, much less any evidence as to which one of them did. Accordingly, Ivy and Teddy are both found “Not Guilty” of clogging the toilet. It quite frankly surprises me that Lisa would even bring a case like this. Nevertheless, as faithful readers of the TVPC surely know, students are permitted to file charges against other students and, that vein, I thank Lisa for doing so.

So concludes another session of the Toilet Violations Punishment Committee. Meeting adjourned at 4:18 PM.

[M_F]

always great stuff!!!!

[spandexman]

Mrs. Johns

Always suspected and still do that Mrs. Johns is a closet lesbian pantyhose pooper. She lives to catch poor high school students in their most embarrassing states and exposes them.

Great memories Arnold.

Thanks for the years of entertainment.............